


Let’s Play the Quiet Game

by Rook2020



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: ASL, Action/Adventure, Aftermath of Torture, Blind Gray, Blindness, Brotp, Drama, Fear Issues, Fear of women, Flashbacks, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Lip reading, Long recovery arc, Loss of Powers, Major Character Injury, Major burns, Memory Issues, Mute - Freeform, Mystery, Necromancy, Overprotective Teamates, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Traumas, Restraints, Scars, Self-Blame, Sign Language, Suspense, Torture, Wendy learns non-magical healing, Zombies, extreme method of tattoo removal, forced use of powers, mute Gray, sadistic use of salt, sealed powers, support animal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 204,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26361889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rook2020/pseuds/Rook2020
Summary: ...first one to scream loses. Teams Natsu and Gajeel face harrowing danger as they try to rescue Gray from a vengeful mad man. Left blind and mute from the ordeal, Gray must adapt while struggling with the traumas, as the rest of the team is tested through the many trials that follow. Meanwhile, Gajeel’s team is investigating an alledged serial murderer...
Relationships: Gray & Asuka, Gray Fullbuster & Lyon Vastia, Levy McGarden/Gajeel Redfox, Natsu Dragneel & Gray Fullbuster & Lucy Heartfilia & Erza Scarlet & Wendy Marvell, Natsu Dragneel/Lucy Heartfilia
Comments: 34
Kudos: 66





	1. Ensnared

The sounds of multiple sets of boots resounded in the eerie silence as the team raced down the corridor. Moisture weeped along the walls and low ceiling, giving off a musty scent that didn’t hinder Natsu at all as he led them pass one room after another. _His_ scent grew stronger, but with each step closer came the worrying taint of fear and blood. Too much of it. Almost there.

“We’re close! End of the corridor. Brace yourselves; he’s not alone.”

‘ _Gajeel reports that they’ve found the suspect, but there’re runes keeping them out. Levy’s working on it. How about your end?_ ’ came an update from Warren.

‘ _We’re approaching our target now. Standby,’_ came Erza’s clipped response.

‘ _And send Porlyusica to our location now. But not Wendy. I’m deadly serious,’_ Natsu was quick to add.

“‘ _Wait one moment, Warren.’_ What do you mean ‘not Wendy’? We know he’s injured. Why can’t we send for her?”

They’d reached the end of the corridor, a locked door looming before them. Runes were etched around the archway, barring their entrance. No sound came from within, but Natsu could make out some movement.

“I’ll get to work on those runes.” Lucy said resolutely.

“Natsu?”

“She doesn’t need to see what’s in there.”

Lucy paused for a moment, startled. But continued her job with barely a hitch.

“How bad is it?”

“It’s bad, Erza.”

“Bad enough to put his life at risk in order to protect Wendy from the trauma?”

A war raged in Natsu’s mind for a mere moment before he relented. As protective as he was for their youngest dragon slayer team mate, Erza was right. He couldn’t let the prospect of Wendy’s probable mental scarring come before the very real risk of permanent injury their friend may have endured. He was just glad they’d left Happy at the surface.

“Have her wait out here, though. Until we can clear the room. Lucy, you too. Don’t argue with me on this.”

The stern look on Natsu’s face wasn’t necessary for Lucy to take his words to heart. If he was sure, she wouldn’t doubt him. Not here. She just nodded, not even taking her eyes from the task. Erza relayed what was needed to Warren, and she and Natsu stood by. From within the chamber, he could hear quiet words here and there. Just a few phrases every once in a while. The words didn’t make sense given the circumstances happening inside. But he edged closer towards wanting to rampage with every moment they had to wait.

It took several minutes, but Lucy was almost done when they heard a pained hiss from inside. It was oddly drawn out and breathy, coupled with heavy, agonized gasps.

“Almost there.” Lucy said with a slight quiver.

“Get ready.” Erza requipped a set of short swords, her usual blades too long for the tight space.

Natsu didn’t need to be told.

The runes glowed dimly and ceased.

Lucy stepped aside, bracing herself for a nail-biting wait as the others made ready to enter. Natsu raised a flaming fist and smashed the door off its hinges. The sight that met them within that chamber would haunt them all for a long time to come.

“GRAY!”

* * *

- _Three days before-_

“How about a fire rat extermination?”

“Too creepy. Next?”

“Removing a curse from an ancient talisman?”

“Hell no. I’m staying away from cursed objects after that stupid changling fiasco.“

“I thought you were immune to curses.”

“Not willing to put up with the hassle. How about this one? ‘Take out a band of thieves that’s been harassing caravans along the trade route between Iris and Narcissisium.’”

“No way! That’s over seven hours by train! Let’s get something local.”

“We’re not gonna find any fighting-related jobs near here. You good with that?”

“...?”

“Thought so. Band of thieves, then?”

A couple nods of agreement later, and the mission was stamped and ready to go.

“There you go. Do you want me to pack any food for your trip?”

“Thank you, Mira. That’s very generous of you. We plan to leave tomorrow on the first train out.” Erza accepted the mission flyer back from Mira and turned to the team. “Now that we’ve got that settled, how about dinner? We can eat here, or we can check out that adorable new cafe by the bakery.”

“Something tells me the proximity to the bakery is your major selling point. But I’m in,” agreed Lucy.

“You had me at ‘dinner’!”

“Aye, sir!”

“Gonna take a rain check. I’ve gotta stop by the hardware store to pick up some paint. I found some wear along the outside of my bedroom window this morning. Gotta talk to Juvia, again, about breaking into my house to leave weird gifts.”

“I thought Juvia was on a joint mission with Lyon all this week.” wondered Lucy.

“Who knows when she did it? I just wanna get it fixed before we leave, in case it rains while we’re gone. Don’t want the wood to start rotting.”

“Aren’t you a prim little fix-it man. You get decorator magazines sent to your house, too?”

“It’s called pride of ownership! You should try it sometime, you flaming pile of-“

“That’s enough out of both of you. Let’s meet at the train station at 7:00. I’ll pick up the food from Mira. Make sure you all pack what you need for at least a three day trip. We’ll see you tomorrow, Gray.”

“Yeah, good night. Don’t let the pyro binge too much. I don’t wanna be wearing his dinner on my shoes tomorrow.”

“You’ll be seeing my shoes on your face, you jerk!”

“Let’s go eat, guys,” said Lucy, ever the peace maker.

* * *

It was a quick walk from the hardware store to his home. Gray enjoyed the cool breeze and the sounds of dry leaves skittering across the sidewalk. Summer was coming to a late end, and he couldn’t wait for the rest of the trees to change into the many warm hues that heralded the cooler seasons.

He arrived at the small cottage-style house situated on a small, but well kept, lawn. He relaxed as the soft sound of trickling water welcomed him from the water garden, simply a large pot filled with pond plants and small gold fish swimming about. A tiny filter kept it clean, and added the gentle sound that broke the calm silence. A little frog had made its home there a few months back, but so long as it left his fish alone, it was welcome to stay.

Climbing the front steps of his house, he reached for the door knob, a key of ice instantly forming in his hands. An acrid scent made him pause. ‘Did an animal die under my porch or something?’ Making a mental note to take care of it before he showered, he went in to get started with his quick repair job. As soon as he stepped into the living room, instinct caused him to drop everything from his hands and lower his stance, ready to fight. Someone was here.

“Come out now. I won’t say it again. “

A slight pause, then a chuckle. The stranger appeared from his bedroom, a diminutive man looking to be in his late seventies. His eyes were cold and sunken in, and liver spots covered his bald scalp. He didn’t look too threatening, but Gray knew better than to let looks deceive him. His own guild master was well into his eighties, after all.

“How did you know, young man?”

“I live here alone. Why the hell would I close my own bedroom door?”

“Heh, heh. An oversight on my part. But I assure you, I’ll be more observant from now on. “

Gray glanced behind the old man into his bedroom, seeing the window ajar, the latch forced open. “It wasn’t Juvia,” he mumbled to himself as realization dawned.

“Hmm?”

“What do you want with me, Oji-san?”

“I’m happy we can skip the friendly platitudes. I’ve simply come to retrieve that which I am due.”

“How about you offer the same courtesy, and stop beating around the bush?”

“Heh, heh. Very well.“ His eyes grew even darker as his deeply wrinkled smirk grew. “I very much want to see your eyes clouded over with pain as your life pours out of your body. “

The old man brought his hands together as if in prayer, and Gray readied for an attack. Expecting it to come from the front, he was caught off guard when he sensed a dark pressure from behind. He leaped to the side to keep the two, no, three enemies within sight. The old man remained where he was, but two other strangers suddenly materialized where he’d just been.

Keeping his back to the wall, he eyed the newcomers. Did they teleport in? It was then that the smell from before hit him, almost making his eyes water. The smell of death permeated the air. The men looked ordinary, though their clothes were worn and threadbare. The only true oddity were their eyes. They seemed lifeless and cloudy. But they focused on him with deadly intent as the enemies moved.

Gray wasted no time in freezing the legs of the first one to the floor. The second one was met with an ice war hammer to the face. He had no intention of killing them, so he held back his strength to merely knock the guy out. But to his surprise and disgust, the skin gave way on impact and seemed to crumble to dry dust. He was hollow inside.

‘ _What the hell?!‘_

The man stumbled, then righted himself, raising his large fists, ready to fight. Gray created a set of small twin daggers, and met his attacker head on. He stepped into the man’s larger frame, twisting his whole body as he sliced into the midsection with the dagger in his right hand, drawing more dust. He followed through, continuing into a full circle, thrusting the blade held in his left hand straight into the enemy’s heart.

He left it lodged there, another spray of dust bursting forth, obscuring his vision and making it difficult to breathe. Gray shifted away, creating another dagger. The momentary guilt he felt over using deadly force evaporated before he had a chance to acknowledge it. The creature, no longer a human in his eyes, still stood before him. He chanced a glance at the old man, who hadn’t moved from the bedroom doorway. He just stood there, smiling that gleeful smirk, showing no concern for his...whatever these things were to him.

No time to think. It came at him with more vigor. Just attack. Defend. Thrust, block, slice, thrust again. Just keep fighting. He still looks human. It’s NOT! Gray kept fighting. It didn’t matter how many times he cut it. It felt no pain. It felt nothing. But he felt everything. Every impact of its large fists against his sides and back would come back to punish him later. He pushed the pain away, fought through it. He could take the time to feel it after he’d beaten these things. He attacked with renewed fervor. It may not feel pain, but the damage was becoming more and more evident.

Cracks appeared with every hit, spreading across the skin’s surface. He fought on. Keep fighting! Don’t stop! The cracks grew larger, becoming fissures with small gaps, showing more of the hollowness inside. He saw his chance. He took it. He thrust both daggers into the beast. They struck gold, both becoming embedded into its shoulders. It may not feel pain, but it still couldn't raise its arms if the joints were severed. Wasting no time, Gray created another war hammer. He drew it back, and threw his whole weight behind the swing, smashing it into the dagger still lodged in its heart.

The dagger was forced deeper into the creature’s chest, hilt and pommel disappearing into the crater. That did it. The integrity of its shell of a body had finally reached its limit. The existing cracks spread, connecting to each other, cascading along the entire surface. It disintegrated, becoming nothing more than a fine cloud, the ice daggers clattering to the floor.

As the dust lay suspended in the air, Gray turned to the other one, still trying to reconcile the conflicting thoughts in his head. He could have ended that fight sooner. It had looked too human, but it was indeed a monster. Now he had no doubts. These thoughts came and went quickly as he took in his other opponent.

The creature hadn’t moved, seemingly satisfied to let its partner do all the work. But as Gray made ready to finish it off, he could only stare in confusion and disbelief. The creature looked towards its legs, reaching down to grab one above the ice. To his horror, it pulled the unfrozen parts of its legs apart from the frozen ones, and proceeded to fall to its hands and stubby knees. No blood flowed, just more of that strange dust. Unhindered by pain, the creature raced on all fours with surprising speed and leaped towards Gray. Long passed the dilemma of whether these were human or not, in a split second, he froze it solid. He ducked out of the way as the large chunk of ice crashed into the wall behind him, shattering it and the ice into pieces.

Panting heavily from the exertion, Gray turned his attention back towards the old man. Sweat glistened on his skin, making him realize he’d lost his shirt at some point. That was weird. Not the shirt, that was bound to happen eventually. But as hard a fight that was, he shouldn’t be so winded already.

The old man still smiled.

“What are you grinning at? I’ve bested your men, or whatever the hell they were. You’d better start explaining what’s going on. I don’t care if you’re a child or old as dirt. If you’re a threat to my guild, I’ll put you down.”

“Heh, heh. The impudence of youth. Such fire in your eyes. I can’t wait to watch it dim. But if it will make you feel better, I have no interest in your guild. Like I said, I came for you.”

“What the hell do you want-“ taking a step towards the stranger, Gray suddenly felt light headed. Dissolving his war hammer, he leaned his back heavily against the wall, trying to keep upright as the room spun. Bracing one hand on the wall and holding the other to his head, he focused darkened eyes towards the blurry image of his tormentor. “Wha’ ve you...done t’ me?” he gasped, voice slurred in his mysterious malady.

“Heh, heh, heh. I had counted on you besting my pets. They were old and fragile. Nothing like my fresher subjects. But they served their purpose. As their bodies were already decayed into dust, I simply added a mixture of strong sleeping powders to their shells. Every breath you took amidst that cloud introduced more of the toxin into your blood. You’ll lose your fight to stay conscious momentarily. But please, keep fighting. I’m enjoying your struggle immensely.”

The room darkened around him, and his sight became a tunnel. The old man stayed where he was. He never moved from that spot. He was avoiding the dust this whole time. Why hadn’t he notice that?! He lost his grip on the wall, his legs giving out, and fell limply onto his side. He tried in vain to stay awake, struggling to get his next words out. “...You..re...a...a...nec..ro...manc...”

“A sharp one, you are. Splendid! I will savor this cold dish with rapture.” He clapped his hands together again, and the stench of death increased ten-fold. Gray couldn’t see what appeared, but he could feel its presence approach him.

“M..y frie..nds...s..sstop...y..ou,” he breathed out.

“Heh, heh. How do you think they’ll do that, when they’ll never find us. Oh, my boy. I can’t tell you how I’ve longed for this moment.”

As the new creature bent down to pick him up, Gray lost sight of the old man, the necromancer. But as he drifted off into the darkness, he heard these last words echo in the void.

“Heh, heh. You look so much like him...and her...heh, heh, heh...

* * *

_**The first seven chapters are heavy on the action, and will go into very in-depth detail of what happens to Gray, as well as the hardships Teams Natsu and Gajeel go through to rescue him. It’s a pretty good adventure. The Recovery Arc will be a little lighter on the fight scenes, but there will be action scattered here and there, as well as angst and h/c, some fluffiness, and moments of self-discovery for a bunch of the characters throughout. There will also be some suspense and mystery in the background, for all you Team Gajeel fans.**_

_**Though not a romance, you’ll definitely find some Nalu and Gale all over the place, and a lot of BroTPs. So much BroTP.** _

_**I hope you enjoy, and please let me know your thoughts, Kudos are nice, too.** _

_**Updates will be every Friday.** _


	2. Access Denied

- _The next day, hours before dawn-_

Gray came to with a gasp, coughing until the action pained him severely, forcing him to stop. Reaching towards his abdomen, his breath hitched as his fingers grazed against the source of the pain. Concern doubled when he felt the unmistakable slickness of blood. Had he been stabbed while he was asleep? 

Where was he? It was pitch black but uncomfortably warm. A dry heat radiated from the ground, almost like pavement in the heat of the summer sun.

Stiff from the previous beating, he forced his body to an upright position, straining against the wound on his stomach. He may have torn it open, but the darkness made it impossible to tell for sure.

He made it to his knees and took a moment to breathe. Bringing his hands together, he activated his magic to benefit from the light it would produce. Creating no ice, just taking relief from the cooling effects, he forced his magic to remain active as he looked down at himself. What he saw made him sway and exhale in dismay.

A rather large and intricately designed circle of runes had been carved directly into his skin. Blood still seeped from the still healing wounds, some of them having indeed torn in his movement. With the knowledge of its existence came an increased awareness of the pain. How deep did it go? What exactly does it DO? 

Fear started to creep its way into his heart, but he pushed it down to allow reason to emerge. He couldn’t allow himself to be distracted. If that old geezer was serious about his goals, he had to find a way out of here. That begged the next question: why was he here? He had no recollection of ever having met that guy! What could he have done to warrant such an insidious plot; to attack him in his own home, kidnap him, and brand this evil mark on his body?

Stumbling a little as he rose to his feet, he raised his hand up to better see his surroundings. It was a small room, constructed in an uncommonly round shape, the walls made of metal, it seemed. Chains hung from the ceiling in rows, perhaps to hold racks of something? Passing his light along the wall, he came upon a tight seam. The exit? There were no hinges on this side, and no door knob. Testing it, he found it solid and immovable. Was he to just wait until he was called upon? Putting out his light to conserve his magic, he decided there was nothing to do but to bide his time as he considered options of escape.

But before he could do that, something had to be done about this stifling heat. Thinking, he figured that his demon slayer ice would do the trick. It wouldn’t melt in this heat, and he could cover the whole surface area of the interior of this room. That would bring instant relief at least.

Bringing his hands up, he commenced to pool his curses together; and immediately coiled in on himself, feeling the most intense pain he could remember as the runes activated. Letting out a gut wrenching cry, he deactivated his curses and fell to his knees. He was in sheer agony as the waves of pain coursed through his body. He could barely inhale enough to replenish the air necessary to scream again. After a few minutes, the light emitting from the runes dimmed, and he collapsed in a heap of exhaustion.

Gasping harshly, his mind could scarcely consider the implications of what just occurred. Thoughts were too jumbled to make connections as he just tried to breathe. After some time, he had composed himself enough to truly understand the danger he was in. That bastard had sealed his demon slayer powers!

“Son of a bitch,” he whispered. He had just about gathered enough resolve to pick himself back up when a voice echoed in the darkness.

“Such a filthy mouth. What other bad habits had that horrible guild taught you?”

He rolled onto his knees instantly, nausea keeping him from rising any further, and gazed into the ominous gloom. That voice was definitely different from that of the man who’d captured him. It was female for one thing. Younger. Almost matronly, and strangely familiar.

“Who’s there? Where are you? Are you working for that old bastard?!”

“Again with that naughty language. You certainly didn’t get it from me. Must have come from your loser of a father.”

That got his attention, and instantly got his blood boiling. How dare she!

“Who the hell are you to say that about him? He has nothing to do with this!”

“Oh, my poor little man. I’m afraid he has everything to do with this. He’s the reason you’re here now. He taught you so many awful things. What kind of man would raise such a foul-mouthed, filthy boy like you? One burdened with that evil magic? But don’t worry. We’ll fix everything together, you and I. Then we can be a family like we were meant to be.”

_‘Whoever these people are, somehow they know Dad gave me his demon slayer magic. But how? Are they from Tartaros? But we wiped them all out over a year ago!’_

“I don’t know what kind of crap you’ve been smoking, but we won’t be exchanging Christmas cards anytime soon. I already have a family, and when they find me, they’re gonna kick your asses.”

“Such ingratitude. I can’t believe what a brat you’ve become. That troublesome guild has really been a bad influence on you. We’ll have to work on that as well. But for now, I think it’s best to get started. Don’t worry. We’ll take baby steps. The first thing we need to take care of is that awful magic you got from your father.”

‘ _What? But my maker magic came from Master Ur.’_

“He’s the worse example you could have followed. But soon, you won’t have to accept anything that has to do with him or any other bad influence in your life. Isn’t this exciting? You’ll be a brand new man when we’re through, the kind of man to make your mother proud.” It was sickening how soft and gentle she made herself sound. Her words didn’t correspond with the tone of her voice at all. But the tone...the gentleness, and warmth...

It dawned on him why that voice was so familiar. It almost saddened him that it took so long to remember it. The thought had crossed his mind in some of his more maudlin days, when he’d realized off and on over the years that, no matter how hard he’d tried, he couldn’t remember the sound of his mother’s voice.

“M...mom?” he cried softly.

“That’s right, my dear boy. I’m here. And I’m going to make sure you become the man you’re meant to be. I can’t wait to be a family agai-“

“Shut up! I already told you! I have a family! Do you think I’m that stupid? My father may have given me his demon slayer powers, but my mother would have known that he was never an ice wizard when he was alive! You think I forgot what you are? What you can do? Come out, you bastard! How dare you! How dare you use my mother like this, you sick, twisted son of a bitch!”

He breathed heavily, a sob nearly escaping, filled with a rage he hadn’t felt in so long. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Again! First his father, now his mother? What universe did he piss on to deserve this?!

“Oh, dear. I thought we were making progress. Oh well. Progress or not, we still have to take care of that disgusting magic of yours. You’ve already felt the effects of that seal on your stomach. No explanation regarding its purpose is necessary, I hope. But there’s also the other seal placed within the circle.”

Gray had noticed it, but not being a rune or sealing expert, he had no clue that they were two separate seals.

“What does the other one do?”

“It’s a special seal that was very hard to acquire. I hope you appreciate the trouble we went through to do all this. It’s purpose is to block the flow of ethernano into your body.”

That was eerily unsurprising. Of course that’s what it did. That just meant he had to escape before he ran out of magic. Surely Freed or Levy could do something about it afterwards.

“Now, let’s get started. In order to erase that vile magic from your body, you’re going to use your powers until you have just barely enough to survive. We wouldn’t want you to die now, would we?”

Somehow, Gray felt a “yet” had been left out of that sentence. “You’re gonna see me using a lot of my powers really soon, buddy.”

“You won’t have time to waste it on me. You need to concentrate on keeping your cool right now. Do you have any idea where you are?”

He remembered the small round room, chains hanging from the ceiling. Other than that, utter darkness. That and that dry heat coming from the floor.

 _‘Oh_ , _no_.‘

Quickly, he brought his hands together and formed a layer of ice across the floor. It didn’t take long to realize that the whole room was getting hotter by the minute.

“What the hell is this?!”

“Heh, heh, heh. What a very apt word to use. But this isn’t quite Hell. You’re inside a kiln used for drying firewood, so that the wood will burn hotter and more efficiently. The heat will continue to rise to dangerous levels. Keep using your magic. It’s the only way you won’t die. I have to go now. We’ll talk again when you’re in a more cooperative mood.”

The voice was gone.

Gray had no words to say. No desire to speak or listen to anymore of that patronizing prattle. He concentrated solely on keeping the heat from subduing him. The direct heat from the floor was contained for now, but it still seeped from the walls. He couldn’t afford to freeze the entire room. This wasn’t his slayer ice. With enough heat, it would melt, and he’d need to continually add more ice over the existing layers.

His heart sank when he noticed a slight glow coming from beneath the frozen floor and up the walls. The kiln was slowly becoming red hot. All he could do was endure until help arrived.

ooooo

From within a large cavern beneath an abandoned wood yard, an old man relaxed from his previously rigid position, watching the viewing lacrima intently as the son of that bastard struggled in vain. It would be a while before he drained his magic to an acceptable level, but that allowed for more time to delight in his fear.

The old wretch had once thought that his chance for revenge had died with the second death of Silver Fullbuster. He’d almost allowed himself to feel some satisfaction at having outlived the foul devil, but it wasn’t enough. After years of scheming and gathering everything necessary to bring his justice to fruition, the bastard had the audacity to die in peace! Damn it all!

But then, a new opportunity arose. The bastard had a son. It was too perfect. The irony of the situation still caused him to grin maniacally at the very thought. To think he could still use all of his preparations, with just a few minor tweaks here and there, and gain the fulfillment of this long held desire, pouring his wrath on a deliciously more appropriate target. ‘ _Silver will curse my name to the end of time!’_

“Soon, Arius. We will have our revenge very soon. And we will recover what had been lost to us. I promise. Just wait a little longer. Just a little longer. Heh, heh, heh.”


	3. Where is He?

- _Mid morning, the same day_ -

“I just don’t see the point of kicking us out every time we sneak in when she’s getting dressed. It’s not like we haven’t seen her naked before. She looks like any other girl.”

“I think the point is that you saw her naked at all. Humans are weird about that.”

There were a scarce number of people about at this hour, as most were already at work or in school. As Natsu and Happy passed the various citizens going about their errands, they gained a few looks now and then at their banter. Most of these people saw their guild marks, quickly chalked it up to the quirkiness of being a guild wizard, and payed them no further heed. Their discussion continued as they made their way to pick up their tardy teammate.

“I know, right? We’re all basically built the same. What’s there to hide?”

“Maybe it’s because you guys don’t have fur to hide all that pasty looking skin.”

“Hey, my skin isn’t pasty. And how is your fur any different from clothes?”

“Hmm...I guess you’re right. Maybe it would be weird if everyone walked around naked. We should ask Gray what he thinks!”

“Forget that. He doesn’t even notice when he’s naked half the time anyway. How much longer til we get to his house?”

“Just a couple more blocks.”

“Man, Erza was pissed when he didn’t show up this morning. We might not be able to leave until later in the afternoon! This sucks. By the way, how come you know how to get to the Frigid Wonder’s house anyway?”

“He let’s me feed his goldfish when he goes on solo missions!”

”That’s the total opposite of what you’re supposed to do with fish. Don’t you ever try to eat them?”

“No way! I can’t do that to Gray! He’s my friend!”

“You steal my fish all the time, and we’re best buds!”

“Gray’s powers are scary.”

“Hold it right there! My powers are way scarier than his!”

“They would be if you’d use them against me. Gray can freeze me without any long term affects. You wouldn’t dare use your powers to stop me from snagging your fish.”

“That just proves I’m more dangerous!”

“Gray’s powers are way more versatile. Besides, I can’t eat his fish. He named them!”

“Who names a stinking goldfish? They all look alike. What’d he name them?”

“Eeny, Meany, Miney, and Flo.”

“Flo?”

“That one’s the girl.”

“Riiight,” Natsu replied sarcastically.

Happy led Natsu into a quiet neighborhood, towards a pleasant looking cottage. Approaching the front porch, Natsu knew right away that something was wrong.

“Wait,” he said, placing his hand in front of Happy’s floating figure. He took in a few whiffs of air and recoiled, bringing his sleeve up to his nose. “Do you smell that?”

Happy tentatively sniffed the air, and covered his nose with both of his hands. “Eew! What is that? That’s worse than the mackerel you dropped behind the oven last month!”

“It’s the smell of decay. Something’s dead in there. 

“*Gasp!* You’re don’t mean-,” Happy asked, tears welling up in his eyes.

“No! It’s not Gray! It’s someone else, I’m sure of it. But I don’t hear any movement inside. Stay behind me until we know it’s clear.”

A brief nod between them, and they ascended the steps, Natsu reaching for the door knob. It turned without resistance. That didn’t bode well. Gray always says he keeps his door locked, whether home or not. “To keep the flaming idiot from barging in whenever he wants,” he’d repeat whenever asked.

Natsu entered in a crouch, flames at the ready, and was instantly buffeted by the more highly concentrated stench that the door had been shielding. A brief pause to wrap his scarf around his nose and mouth, Natsu then stepped into the living room, Happy at his shoulder.

Their gazes were immediately drawn towards the disturbing sight of a pair of severed limbs frozen to the floor. There were half melted ice daggers scattered about, and a thick film of dust and debris covered every surface in the room. Natsu was reluctant to reveal to Happy that the film was composed of disintegrated flakes of flesh and bone.

Happy dispelled his Aera magic and walked amongst the debris, inspecting the horrifyingly fascinating spectacle of the frozen limbs. Upon closer inspection, the legs seemed to melt along with the ice, as if the only thing keeping their atoms together was the frozen ethernano they were encased in. He kicked up some dust as he picked up one of the now-dull ice daggers.

With tears in his eye’s, he looked up at Natsu and asked, “Natsu, where’s Gray?”

“I don’t know. But he’s not here. Let’s look around. We might find something that’ll tell us what the hell happened here.”

Knowing the house was empty of intruders, they split up to investigate. Natsu went into the bedroom, and zeroed in on the broken latch on the window. He remembered what Gray said just yesterday about touching up some paint there. Whoever did this may have been stalking Gray for a while. That was the entry point, then. Was he ambushed as soon as he got home? That meant the enemy already had at least a twelve hour lead on them!

“Happy, we have to report this to Ji-chan and the others. There’s no time.”

Turning about face, he stepped out the bedroom door, but Happy failed to answer. “Happy?...Happy!”

Rounding the displaced furniture, Natsu found Happy behind an overstuffed chair. He seemed listless, and struggled to open his eyes. “Happy, buddy, what’s wrong? Open your eyes, Happy. Come on!”

“N..ast...I’m so...sl..eepy.” Happy fell asleep in Natsu’s arms.

Looking around, Natsu tried to figure out what could have affected Happy in this way. Looking down, he saw a thin mist of kicked up dust, and stood up quickly. Happy, because of his height, was exposed to the dust that drifted low to the floor. That had to be it. Looking around, he spied a small box beside the overturned coffee table, it’s contents of creepy looking Gray-shaped sugar cookies fallen out. Shaking any leftover crumbs from the box, he used it to scoop up some of the dust to take with him. Maybe Wendy or Porlyusica could use it to figure out how to help Happy.

With one last angered look around, he took off as fast as possible to the guild.

* * *

‘ _How long has it been? I can’t keep this up for much longer._ ’

Panting heavily, sweat soaked and exhausted, Gray kneeled on cramping knees upon a thick layer of ice. His refuge was only a small circle now, no more than a two foot diameter. Maintaining it has become a form of meditation in the last few hours. He had to focus incredibly hard on the task now. The circle kept shrinking.

The floor and walls glowed a malicious shade of red. A constant sizzle was heard as the icy layer thinned. He thought he could actually feel the platform sink as the ethernano within the ice evaporated.

Normally, the flow of ethernano necessary to maintain a spell of this low level would be replenished simultaneously, at a ratio of at least four units gained for every one unit lost, until his origin was full. After that, the level is just sustained. That’s how little power this kind of spell required. It wasn’t a big deal to let Mirajane use him as a backup air conditioner whenever the guild’s AC unit was on the fritz. In other words, on a normal day, he could hold this spell indefinitely. But because of that blasted seal...

His body trembled under the constant strain, and nausea came upon him a while ago. He knew he was nearing the last of his reserves. He needed to release his magic. ‘ _But then what would happen? My boots won’t last a minute on that red hot surface._ ’ But he wasn’t ready to give up. Looking around for any options, his eyes landed on the many chains hanging over head.

Hmmm...he couldn’t just release his magic, but if he could maybe decrease the rate in which it was drained...

Deciding this to be the only viable option, he slowly pulled one leg out from under himself. So focused was he on his spell, that he hadn’t noticed the lack of feeling in his lower legs until he tried to stand. Hissing at the pins and needles sensation, he tried his best to stretch his legs out in the tight space, and stumbled on the senseless limbs. He righted himself frantically, just barely taking a fatal misstep off the ice.

Wiping the sweat out of his eyes, he looked up, judging the distance to the chain hanging directly above. It gave off a slight glow, not as bright as the other surfaces. If he timed it right, he should have more than enough time to release the spell on the ice, gather whatever magic he could spare into his hands, and leap high enough to grab the chain, freezing it a split second before he grabbed a hold.

Steeling his nerves, he ignored the worsening cramps in his legs as he bent his knees. Counting down in his head, he reached zero, and jumped. Releasing his magic, he leapt and brought his hands close. The sudden change of the flow of magic within his body made him light-headed, but he couldn’t afford to mess this up. In less than a second, he froze the chains just as he grasped them, feeling a harsh bite of pain as the still lingering heat burnt his flesh slightly, which left him as soon as the cold took over.

The sound of hissing increased in volume as steam arose around him. His former refuge was shrinking by the second. As the last tiny chip disappeared, he was left with a new conundrum. The drain on his magic had slowed immensely, but how long could he hold onto the chain? His injuries were screaming at him to rest, but that couldn’t happen. What would give out first: the endurance of his magic or his already exhausted body?

‘Natsu...Erza...Lucy...everyone...I know you’re coming...I’m holding out as long as I can...Hurry...’

* * *

Erza nearly lost it when she saw Natsu without Gray. But the look of terror in his eyes stayed her hand. Looking at Happy in his arms brought her to full attention.

“What happened to Happy? Where’s Gray?” she asked.

Lucy, facing away from the doors, turned as Natsu ignored those questions and screamed for Wendy to join him in the infirmary. Lucy and Erza followed, Erza pausing just long enough to have Jet fetch Porlyusica. She had a bad feeling the old healer would also be needed.

Master Makarov was already there when Erza and Lucy arrived. Natsu hovered over Happy, waiting for Wendy’s assessment. After a few moments to double check her magical scans, Wendy looked up and said, “I think he’ll be find. He’s just sleeping.”

There was a collective sigh of relief before Makarov drew their attentions. “Tell us what happened. You mentioned when I first got here that Gray was missing. What did you mean?”

“What! Gray’s gone? What’s going on?” cried a worried Lucy. She was interrupted by the angered ranting that announced Porlyusica’s arrival.

“If you’re all standing, why am I even here? You better not have summoned me because you can’t tell the difference between an illness and a catnap!”

“Happy isn’t sick, but he’s not catnapping, either. This stuff was all over Gray’s living room. It put Happy to sleep,” Natsu said, thrusting the box of dust forward.

Scoffing at the absurd ridiculousness of these hopeless humans, Porlyusica accepted the box and eyed its contents wearily. “And what are you showing me?”

“I don’t know what the rest of that stuff is, but the most prominent scent I’m picking up is decayed human flesh and bone. “

No one had time to react to this news before a soft groan was heard. “He’s waking up!” a relieved Carla announced.

Happy opened his eyes and yawned. He blinked a few times, then his eyes became saucers. “Natsu! What about Gray! We need to tell everyone!” He latched onto Natsu’s neck, all signs of sleep gone.

Erza eyed Natsu, noticing how his pale complexion didn’t improve at all after Happy’s awakening. Natsu needed no more prodding.

“We were supposed to leave on a mission hours ago, but Gray was late. We thought maybe he slept late because a stupid do-it-yourself job kept him up all night. We let him sleep in until Erza was ready to blow, then Happy and I went to his house to drag him back here, awake or not. But when we got there, his house was trashed. The whole place reeks of death, and there’s melting ice all over...There’s also body parts.”

At that, everyone started talking over each other.

“Whose?!”

“It wasn’t Gray-san!?”

“No way he’d go down like that!”

“What about witnesses? No one heard anything?”

“We need to mobilize the whole guild and send out search parties!”

“Silence!” yelled Makarov. He took in everyone's gazes before settling on Porlyusica. “You’ve been quiet. And you seem very interested in that box’s contents. Do you have any insight into what’s going on?”

Porlyusica looked up to all the eyes on her and sighed. “No. But this dust might hold some clues. I won’t know for sure until I can run some tests. I’m going home. Don’t come back for me. I’ll return on my own when I know more.”

“But we don’t have time to wait!” Natsu yelled.

“Do you think I don’t have a sense of urgency?” she yelled back.

“I know you want to rescue your friend, but where will you start? You don’t know who did this or where they took him! You don’t even know if he’s still alive!”

“HE’S NOT DEAD!” Natsu raged. A dead silence. Then,

“If you want that to remain true, I need to run tests on this box of powdered corpse you’ve gifted me. I may find clues that will help you locate your friend. Now stand down. I have work to do.”

Natsu relented, turning away, hugging Happy closer to his chest. Lucy joined him, offering what comfort she could.

Porlyusica bade Wendy to follow her. An extra set of hands would doubtlessly speed things along. As they left, followed by Carla, Makarov cleared his throat and started giving orders.

“Erza, contact Lamia Scale. Lyon should be informed about Gray. Also, find Warren and have him summon all the wizards within reach of his telepathy to the guild hall. I don’t care if they’re guild members or not. If they’re willing to help, we won’t refuse them. Lucy, as soon as Cana gets here, have her cast a location spell. Maybe she can narrow down the search. Natsu, Happy, get something to eat, and try to calm down. Gray needs us all to have clear heads right now. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir,” Natsu replied somberly.

“Very well. Listen to me, all of you. Gray is alive. We will find him, and we will bring him home. That is a promise and an order. Understood?”

“YES MASTER,” they all yelled.

“Good! You know your jobs. Go!”

They couldn’t leave fast enough.

‘Gray. Wait for us, son. We’ll find you. I promise, we won’t rest until you’re home.’

* * *

Pain wracked his body as Gray tried to adjust his grip. His shoulders and ribs bore the brunt of the strain, and his breathing suffered. His hands had locked up long ago, and his eyes stung from the sweat he could no longer wipe away. He was so tired. He panicked when he jerked suddenly, realizing he had awoken from a short micro sleep. His body was so exhausted, it was forcing his mind to sleep for a duration of several seconds, something he had no control over. If that happened again, his hands may let go on their own.

He needn’t have worried, not about that at least. In that all encompassing silence he’d been trapped in for the last while, he jumped in shock at the sound of a latch being undone. He tried to lift his head to look up, but he lost the ability to do that not too long ago. He heard the hatch opening, but there was no discernible change in the heat. He heard the sound of sizzling meat, and smelled the repugnant scent of decayed flesh in the smoke that reached his nose. Was that thing seriously walking barefoot on that burning floor?!

“Gray, my boy. You are such an impressive young man. I’m so proud of how strong you are. But I’m afraid it’s time to let go. You’re magic is dangerously low. I’m worried you might end up killing yourself in this selfish desire to prove something.”

A hard-fought-for breath, then another. “You’re so...full of crap...You’re not my mother...piss off...already.”

“I’m not here to argue. I just came to let you know that you should prepare yourself.”

“...for what?...the scent of...frying bacon?” he smirked. At least his sense of humor hadn’t gone yet.

“No, sweetie. For the next phase of your transformation. It’s vital that you understand that you’re here because of your rat of a father. We have to purge every bit of him from you. It’s time to let go.”

“...go to...Hell...you lying...bitch...”

“You’re not in you right mind, so I can ignore the ungrateful attitude this time around. But you need to know your limits. You haven’t even noticed that your ice is disappearing.”

Gray jerked in surprise. Realizing it was right, he tried desperately to pull just a little more magic from his reserves, but he knew it was a lost cause. A wizard’s magical core has what one would call a failsafe. To prevent the wizard from going too far in their magic use, the core will automatically close off access to prevent a complete drain. Short of having every drop forcefully taken by an outside force, this failsafe is a key adaptation in the wizard’s body to prevent sudden death from extreme ethernano deficiency.

Gray could almost feel it physically as his magical cores were cut off. And because of the seals, they wouldn’t be refilled anytime soon. The ice was melting fast. He still couldn’t raise his head high enough to see, but he could feel the ice drift away.

The heat from the chain was spreading into his hands. Mild at first, it very quickly grew in intensity. His hands were burning. Ordinarily, one would flinch away from a hot stove. But the gradual build up of heat slowed that response. He bit back a cry as he desperately tried to hang on just a little longer, until the chains began to glow. He fell.

It was indescribable agony. He landed on his back, and let out a primal scream that he couldn’t hear, as once again, his senses and thoughts were overwhelmed with stimuli. By reflex, his arms came down in an attempt to push himself up, blistering the back of his upper arms. He managed to keep enough sense to push against his feet, raising his lower back at least, so his upper torso took most of the damage. What good would it do? In moments, he’d be dead, burnt beyond recognition. The irony of it all, an ice mage burning to death.

All this occurred in a fraction of a second. Suddenly, the burning ceased. A stark coldness swept over him, so cold that it seemed to burn in the same intensity as the kiln. But he knew this cold. He recognized this magic. It was his.

Thinking was impossible. All he knew was pain. He didn’t know if he breathed. He wasn’t sure if he lived. Maybe he’d died in that kiln, and he now knew where his destiny lay. But that cold called to him. He fought against the pain, and his body’s all-compelling need to SHUT DOWN, and forced an eye open. He wish he’d listened to his body.

He couldn’t move. His head swam, and his breaths came in pained groans and wheezes. He just laid there, suspended in a daze, half his mind already falling into the ether, while the most stubborn part of him tried to get a grasp of the situation. That was definitely his ice just now. It was relatively weak, and was melting as he laid on it.

The presence from before (NOT his mother) approached, ever heedless of the damage still being caused by the burning floor. It stepped unto the ice and bent down. For the first time, he got a hazy, unfocused look at the creature wearing his mother’s face. He wanted to cry.

Throughout this whole ordeal, he had held steadfast to his belief in his magic, his strength, and his friends. He’d never let the pain and fatigue sap away his hope. He knows that as long as he lives, his friends will come for him. That hope had kept him from falling into despair. But in that instant, some of his shields fell.

He may have forgotten her voice, but he will never lose her face. That face is forever imprinted into his heart, along with every one of his most important people. She was petite in size, fair skinned and soft. Her hair was lighter than his, a sun-kissed auburn, which flowed to just passed her shoulders and fell down to frame her face as she looked at him. As IT looked at him. ‘That THING is not her,’ he repeated as a mantra in his mind.

He couldn’t see clearly enough to see its face in detail, but from what he could see, he almost broke right then. He just couldn’t pull his eyes away, though he desperately tried. He continued to breathe in short, raspy gasps as the thing began to speak.

“You’re such a strong boy. Even with the small amount we were able to collect, your magic was very potent.”

“...y...*ahem*...you planned...” His voice was weak and hoarse, hardly above a whisper.

“We gathered trace amounts of your magic as it dissipated, forming it into a lacrima crystal. It took far longer then expected. You never mentioned you had a second origin. But you now benefit from that. As soon as you landed, I threw the crystal down. It worked better than anticipated. You should have been burnt far worse, but I’m not complaining. You seem effectively cowed now. You’re not supposed to die. Not like that. You just needed to be...declawed, I suppose. Now that your father’s disgusting magic is no longer an issue, we can move on.”

It reached its hand out and ghosted its fingers lightly through his hair. It was really trying to pull off the motherly act, wasn’t it?

“...st.p..touch..n..me...fake...Not...m..om..” He couldn’t even raise a hand to swat it away. How demeaning.

“Still stubborn. That’s okay. You can rest now, my little man. Go to sleep.”

Loathed as he was to do anything that creature said, his mind and body couldn’t resist the invitation. He slept.

* * *

- _Meanwhile_ -

Cana threw her cards down in frustration. Lucy and Natsu looked on in worry. Happy was currently sitting with Mira at the bar, she offering idle talk interspersed with small offerings of fish to keep him occupied. Both of them kept sending glances towards Cana’s table, waiting for some news.

“I don’t understand why my locator spells aren’t working! I tried everything! I can’t find a trace of his magic anywhere. I even tried looking for isolated cold spots in otherwise warm surroundings. It’s as if my magic can’t get a hold of him!”

“Don’t worry, Cana. You did your best. We’ll find another way,” Lucy said reassuringly.

“My best isn’t enough!”

“Then we’ll just be better. So your method didn’t work? That just means we know one more thing that won’t work, so now we can try something else. We’ll do what we have to, go beyond every limitations. Something’s gonna give soon. Once we gather everyone here, we can try something else. And something else after that. Even if we fail a thousand times, something will work, and we’ll be closer to finding Gray.” Natsu said with no doubt whatsoever.

Lucy was always impressed by this Natsu. He could be silly and rather stupid at times, but when the situation called for it, he could be the most serious, dangerous person in the room. Hope renewed, the three started up another brainstorming session, finding pros and cons of different ideas.

The guild hall was crowded when Porlyusica arrived with Wendy and Carla. They made a beeline through the throng of “worthless humans” to stand before Makarov. A silence befell the hall.

“We have an idea of where Gray-san is,” Wendy said.

“What are we waiting for? Let’s go!” yelled Natsu.

“Sit down and listen! We can get through this process faster without interruption!” Porlyusica yelled back.

Wendy continued. “On the way to Porlyusica-san’s house, we were discussing how the sleeping powder didn’t seem to last very long. Happy was only affected for maybe ten, fifteen minutes at most. We didn’t think it would be strong enough to keep Gray incapacitated for long.”

Porlyusica continued. “Then I remembered from my studies that there exists a number of herbs that, when combined in the right concentrations, can render a rather potent sleep potion. After analyzing that powdered corpse you gave me (“Can we stop calling it that? It’s creepy,” whispered Lucy under her breath), I was able to determine that your cat was indeed exposed to that very potion. The problem with it is its shelf life. It degrades quickly over time, losing its potency. That’s the reason it worked so well against Gray, but not so much against your cat.”

“But how does that help us?” asked Lucy.

“What did I say about interruptions?! I’m getting to that. This helps us because we can use that information to possibly find your missing ice wizard. In order to make this potion, you have to gather all the necessary ingredients within close proximity. That means you can’t pick one ingredient, and then traipse around the countryside to gather the rest. Any degradation, even so much as a wilted petal, would make the entire potion worthless.

Not only that, but once the potion is made, there is a very small window of time in which it can be used. These two variables narrow down possible locations and distances. However, before you get your hopes up, this hypothesis is completely dependent on the hope that whoever kidnapped Gray came from that region, and also chose to take him back there.”

The excitement that grew throughout her explanation shrank ever so slightly. If all this was true, then they did have a lead, but a weak one. Before doubts could grow, Levy spoke up. “I think the odds are in our favor. The perpetrator would have been very familiar with this potion in order to make it. He’s probably a long-time native to the region in which those ingredients grow. Also, violent criminals tend to have a touch of paranoia, and desire some form of security. To go through all this trouble in order to take Gray wherever he is, this person will have had to set up some kind of base or hideout in a location where they wouldn’t feel threatened. They’re on their home terf, I’m sure of it.”

“That’s my little shrimp! Using that big brain of hers to piece it all together. I say we take that gamble and send out teams now,” Gajeel said while messing with Levy’s hair.

“But we still need to narrow don’t the location,” reminded Erza.

“That’s why it took so long. We were doing just that,” said Wendy. “One thing these ingredients all have in common is a need for a cooler growing season. During the spring and fall, they grow in abundance, but with this abnormally long summer we’ve been having, there are only a few places in the country where they can all grow together.”

Carla added, “After careful consideration of all of these facts, we determined that Gray may be in the northeastern regions of Fiore.”

“Well, at least we have a general direction. Can we go now?” asked Natsu.

Everyone looked towards Master Makarov, waiting for his orders. After a moment, he looked up with a new light in his eyes. “Natsu, Gajeel, and Wendy; you three return to Gray’s house and memorize any scents that aren’t familiar. You three will be our trackers. Mira, make arrangements for travel. Cana, send out a Priority Bulletin to every major and minor guild, and see if they have anyone already deployed in that region. Levy, I need you to use any resources you still have on the Magic Council. See if they’re willing to lend us some of their spymasters. The more eyes and ears we can get out there, the better our chances of narrowing down the search. And Erza, you’ll work with me to organize the teams we’ll be sending out.

“Listen up, everyone! There is no doubt in my mind that Gray is alive. We are not just searching in vain. He is counting on us to move Heaven and Earth to find him, because he knows that’s exactly how we Fairy Tail wizards operate. He won’t lose faith in us, so none of you dare lose your faith in him. He’s waiting for us. Let’s bring him home!”

With that, everyone gave a rousing cheer, raising their fists in the air, fingers extended in the Fairy Tail Salute, and raced to do their jobs.

* * *

He came to once more. The pain was ever present, and he wondered how he could have awakened when he was so unbearably tired. He tried to maintain a feigned sleep, hoping his tormentors would leave him alone for even a short while. It was hard to do so without the constant need to flinch at the slightest ache.

This place was different. The first thing he noticed, after the pain, was the lower temperature. It was surprisingly cold in here. He had to backtrack at that. He was cold? He’d have to think on that later. At least he was out of that kiln.

He was reclined on a horizontal surface. It wasn’t solid. It felt like a metal grate, about seven feet long by two feet wide. His arms were spread out as if crucified, except they hung uncomfortably at a steep angle towards the floor, putting pressure on his battered chest, impairing his breathing. His wrists were restrained in that position with heavy-gage wire. A quick check confirmed the same with his now bare feet. He felt that same wire wrapped around his neck, just above his knees, and across his chest. He couldn’t move at all.

The awkward position strained his already overworked muscles. The metal grate of the surface he lay on pressed into the skin of his back, pain from his burns increasing with the uneven contact. Somewhere within the many thoughts floating in his mind, a very small comfort emerged. The fact that he could still feel pain in his back meant that most of the nerves were still intact. Second degree burns, then. The most painful, but not the worst off he could have been. What a strange relief. He hasn’t yet fallen so far down in despair that he’d wish for that loss of sensation. It wouldn’t be worth it. He couldn’t afford to stop caring whether he lived or died.

He tried to open his eyes, but they were too heavy. He heard very little, just the sound of a fire crackling, too far to offer any heat to chase away the cold. Why was he so cold? A light source, then. He tried to inhale deeply, but he couldn’t breath as deeply as he’d like without discomfort. But what he did smell pushed all his other thoughts away. The smell of death was in this room.

The presence moved. He must have twitched or jerked in some way that gave away his wakefulness. So much for that short respite. He heard the sound of water pouring. The very idea of water made his anxiety grow. He hadn’t had water since this whole ordeal started. Would they torment him with this? The need to slake his thirst was brought to the forefront of his mind. After everything, would this be his undoing? Would they force his submission with the temptation of such a simple thing as a drink of water?

The worry became moot as the creature took hold of his head and lifted it up, almost tenderly. A cup was brought to his lips, and he drank without hesitation. He wasn’t allowed more than small sips at a time, but at this point, he didn’t care. He didn’t care that the water may be laced with something, or that he should be weary of gifts with attachments. This wasn’t weakness in his eyes. This was taking advantage of any means to escape, which included staying alive to do so.

When the cup was emptied, it was pulled away as his head was lowered. His throat was not so dry anymore, so he tried to speak. “Thank you,” he croaked. That was pathetic. His voice was still this weak? Whatever. Maybe he could lower that thing’s guard if he played nice, just a little.

“You’re very welcome, my boy. I’m glad this episode has taught you some manners. You lost a lot of water while in the kiln. And you’ve had a fever since before your magic ran out. That’s why you’re shivering. You poor thing. You’re probably not used to it. I’ll give you more water in a little while. We don’t want you vomiting it back up and making your dehydration worse.”

“...why are you...nice now?” he asked confusedly. He found it so difficult to get the words passed his throat, and his breaths came in too-short gasps to speak for too long.

“I’ve always been nice, dear boy. The nicest thing you can do for a child is to discipline them. Sometimes you have to show tough love to get your point across. If your father had done a better job of raising you, you’d know that already.”

“Stop saying that...He was the best...dad ever. He believed in me...told me to be strong. He died for me.”

“You’re father was nothing like that! He was a coward, who hunted down demons and beasts without mercy! He made a pact with a demon to gain that abominable curse magic, and used it to destroy countless lives! He was a monster!”

At those words, Gray was incensed. His fatigue lessened, and he forced his eyes open. He turned his head in the thing’s direction, holding back a cringe at seeing his mother’s form again.

“I know what he hunted...he took out...demons during his time...with Tartaros. Demons bent on...killing people. And he...gave it up when he...discovered I...was alive... His guilt made him...unworthy in his eyes...to avenge his son. He was flawed...made mistakes. But he was...willing to become a monster...to help me face my own demons. Gave me a power to...help me protect my friends. He’s not a monster...you are!”

That speech took a lot out of him, but he was glad he could defend his father. What did that creature think it was doing, trying to turn him against his dad? Ever since he was brought here, it kept spouting off crap about how evil he was, and how he was unworthy of Gray’s loyalty and affection. What could it’s goal be?

The corpse grew angry at Gray’s defiance and backhanded him. He'd felt far worse recently, and didn’t care. He licked the blood off his lips, turned his tired eyes back towards it, and glared.

That made it angrier.

“How dare you turn those ungrateful eyes at me, you little brat! I’m trying so hard to make you see that bastard Silver for what he truly was, but you’re too stubborn to see the truth!...Or maybe...yes...you see too much to make out the truth from the lies.”

With that, it stepped away and turned towards the source of the fire. Gray couldn’t help the quickening of his heart rate at that last bit of wording. What the hell was it doing? It returned from the burning brazier, something enclosed in its hand. Smoke emerged from the closed fist, and the now familiar stench of burnt decay wafted from it. He shook his head in disbelief. Was it serious?!

“I’m disappointed in your lack of respect, dear boy. You shouldn’t turn such evil eyes at your mother. We’ll take care of that now.”

Gray pulled at his restraints, feeling them cut into his skin. The corpse took a tight hold of his head, forcing it still. His breathing quickened, and fear flitted across his eyes. He couldn’t take them off of that approaching fist.

This has risen to a whole new level of surreal. Shouldn’t he be a little more panicked than this? He relies on his sight to ensure the proper execution of his creation magic. He couldn’t be that so resigned to his fate, could he? Hell no!

“You can...take my magic... my eyes, my ears...my freaking tongue!.. I don’t care...My father will...always be the...the hero I re...remember him to be... My friends will...find me...and...you’ll still be th...the pathetic old man...hiding behind a corpse!” came his quiet but angered response.

The thing held its fist over Gray’s eyes, bits of glowing hot ashes slipping free, causing him to flinch. He blinked rapidly, defiance alone causing his refusal to look away. He increased the strain against his bonds, causing pain to flare up in all his previous injuries. The hand gripping his hair held him firm.

“You shouldn’t say such defiant words. I may take you up on the offer.”

He blinked before the ashes fell, his scream the loudest sound he’s been able to make since he awoke in this chamber.

* * *

Team Natsu, Wendy, Gajeel, Levy, and the exceeds were currently on a train to the north. Porlyusica came along for extra medical support, and Warren was brought to facilitate communications between the members of the various guilds.

As soon as Lyon and Juvia heard from Lamia Scale about what was happening, they abandoned the quest they were on and headed to the nearest train station.

A porter at the station had flagged them down, handing Juvia a communications lacrima. Makarov ordered her back to Magnolia, no excuses. She was too emotionally attached, he’d said, and her past history in how she acted around Gray made her too unpredictable to be out in the field. Protests that she’d never do anything to put her Gray-sama in danger were met with a stern “NOW,” and she left in a huff on a train heading in the opposite direction. It was a gloomy ride the whole way home.

Lyon continued on alone to the north. Several other guilds had answered the call, relaying the message to those already in the region, as well as sending additional help to cover more ground.

The teams from Fairy Tail would arrive at the largest railway station in the northeast, and wait for clues of the next destination, as well as for Lyon’s arrival. The Rune Knights have also sent a team of the coveted spymasters. They were currently dispersed throughout the area of operation, one spy attached to each of the larger teams of guild wizards. If anyone could gather information, they could.

All they could do was wait. It was maddening having nothing else to do, but it wasn’t like the dragon slayers could muster up enough energy to pace up and down the aisle. Everyone agreed that Wendy should save all her magic to take care of Gray when they found him, so no Troia spell for them. The rest of the team sat in silence, all thoughts centered on what was to come. They just waited, anticipating the call that would give them the next destination. 


	4. Lullaby

‘ _The bastard’s whelp is proving to be more stubborn than I had planned for. I’ll have to get more creative in breaking his resolve. Using his mother’s corpse should have been more effective in that regard. He must be just as cold as his father was to not care. His whole family is cursed!’_

Turning away from the viewing lacrima, the necromancer approached a low table and crouched before it. Inscribed on top is a magic circle, its purpose known only to those who would brave the most arcane practices. It is this which allows him to speak and act through that puppet in the other chamber. Within the circle lay a small lock of auburn hair, tied with twine. It was easier than one would think to acquire this relic. The dead are quite useful in such mundane tasks as digging up their own. Locating it was a different matter. If only he still had his former strength. He could have pulled the souls of every broken body in that ruined village out of wherever they rested, and tortured them for the whereabouts of his target. But to his great luck, that wasn’t necessary. Perhaps the brat did have a heart once, if he’d made the effort to bury her properly, even putting up a childish construct of a grave marker.

These thoughts only stoked his ever simmering anger and indignation. His former strength. Yes. It’s good to be reminded. That beast is the reason he’s here now. The reason that boy is here. The boy. Yes. Learning of that child’s existence had not just provided the means towards collecting on this debt. It added a new dynamic, something the necromancer hadn’t even dreamed possible. He’s not the villain. He’s an agent of justice. It’s not about the lost powers. Only villains care about such trifles. He’s not the villain. His goal is far greater now. It’s not about power. Wrongs will be righted. It’s not about power. He’s not the villain.

Stroking the lock of hair, he murmured an incantation and watched as the circle glowed. This used to not be necessary. There was a time when he didn’t need relics or circles to command hordes of the dead. They would have a certain level of intelligence, able to use the magics and skills they possessed when they still lived. He can still bring life to them, but far fewer than before. They can only have a semblance of life now. They can move and can be ordered to fight. But there is no intelligence anymore. And he can’t absorb their collective knowledge from past experiences either. That was such a valuable asset in his youth. To be able to steal and torture secrets from the remnants of dead soldiers, merchants, and scholars made him valuable to all who were willing to pay. And he could do it instantly, to multiple targets at once. Now, though, he could only glimpse subtle images and vague memories from one target at a time. And he needed direct touch to do so. How far he had fallen. 

No! Not fallen. Forced down! Humiliated and driven from his rightful place! He’s the victim!

Images appeared in his mind’s eye. Hands hanging sheets in the sun. A piano, a tune. Snow. A smiling boy. That bastard’s face. Playing a flute. Giggling. That tune again. Meals being shared. Auburn hair. Words. Lyrics? Sung to the child. A lullaby. Yes. This is useful. A reminder of a lost childhood should thaw that cold heart.

Soon now. Keep chipping away at his defenses. Break him down, bit by bit. First the body, then the mind. Finally, the heart. Soon, this wretched curse will be broken through.

‘ _This will work. It WILL! Arius will awaken. I’m not the villain. I’m not the monster. I won’t be weak anymore.’_

It was about the power.

“NO! I’m the victim!”

Yes.

* * *

Too much.

This is too much.

‘ _I can’t-_ ‘

The pain seemed intensified. Every nerve ending was firing off now. He shivered more. The cold. But cold was good for pain. Wasn’t it?

Darkness.

Get used to it.

‘ _NO_!’

This wasn’t happening.

It already has.

‘ _I can’t create without sight.’_

The pain grew worse.

Darkness.

Nothing to see, only to feel.

No distractions.

From the pain.

Too much.

Focus!

No distractions.

That means more focus.

Nothing to see.

A blank canvas.

There was darkness before creation.

In the beginning.

There was hope.

He can’t give up. His friends are coming. He can’t let them search for nothing. He can’t let them down.

He can’t SEE!

He can think.

Imagination is his best weapon.

So cold.

Not cold enough. The pain is still there.

Too much.

It’s all too much.

A sound.

Humming?

So tired.

‘If I could just...drift away.’

Too cold.

Too painful.

Too dark.

Too much.

Just a rest. Is that cowardly? A tactical retreat. To come back stronger.

Not despair.

That’s what it wants.

Don’t give in.

Not despair.

Anger. 

Anger is good.

Focused anger brings clarity.

Be strong.

Rest.Build strength.

It’s okay to rest.

The song sounds distant.

Too much.

Just rest.

Drift away.

It’s dark.

* * *

“Where are we so far?”

Without preamble, Lyon started demanding answers as soon as he met up with Fairy Tail. He found them in the station master’s office, Erza having commandeered it as soon as they arrived. Gajeel, Levy, and Warren were currently coordinating with the other guilds, relaying any useful information that the teams of investigators found. The team was currently located at the largest transport station in the north, where most of the nation’s railroad companies had privileges to use the central hub. From this location, the teams could deploy to any destination. They just needed to know where.

“We’re still waiting to hear from the local guilds. They’ve sent members all over to scout out possible leads. As soon as we have anything solid, we’ll head out,” said Erza.

“You don’t have any idea of what condition he might be in? Was there blood or-,”he broke off.

It was Wendy who answered, “We found traces of Gray-san’s blood in his house, but not enough to speculate anything. Gajeel-san said the splash pattern suggested he was beaten, but he doesn’t think a weapon was used.”

“They wouldn’t have used a sleep potion if they’d been able to take him down with a beating alone,” said Lucy, somewhat reassured by that notion. 

“Damn right he didn’t go down without a fight. The cowards had to cheat,” replied Natsu. 

“That doesn’t mean he wasn’t beaten badly. They could have just sedated him to keep him down,” said Lyon.

“Do you really believe that?” asked Natsu angrily.

A moment to consider, then, “No.” That thought gave him comfort.

“Then stop worrying. He’s gonna be fine. Be worried about how sore your fists are gonna be when we beat down those bastards who did this.”

That brought a few quiet chuckles from the group. Happy raised his hand to gain their attention. “Since we’re all here now, can we finally talk about the frozen feet stuck to Gray’s floor? There was something strange about them.”

Oh yeah. Everyone was so concerned about finding Gray, no one had stopped to consider the slowly thawing meat sticks in his living room. They should definitely contact the guild later on about sending someone over to clean up.

“What about it? Gray kicked butt, and the bad guys left with scars to remember him by,” said Natsu with a dark smirk.

“Yeah, but didn't you think it was strange that as the ice melted, so did the legs?”

“What do you mean?” asked Porlyusica, suddenly interested in the conversation. Under the old curmudgeon’s scrutiny, Happy was a little intimidated. But realizing his information might be helpful, he continued.

“Well, when Natsu thaws a frozen fish for dinner, the fish is still there. But when we went to Gray’s house a second time, the ice had melted more, but there weren’t any pieces of legs sticking out. Just a stinky, sludgy puddle surrounding the ice.”

Porlyusica took this in, and the others remained quiet to let her think. After a moment, her eyes suddenly widened. “You found only Gray’s blood at the scene?”

“That’s right,” replied Wendy. Then she realized.

“Gray uses melee weapons. Blades mostly. There should have been blood from his attackers all over!”

“What are you saying?” asked Erza.

“Those body parts aren’t remaining intact because they're already decayed. We’re dealing with a necromancer,” came Porlyusica’s response. Everyone was up and agitated now.

“Oh, crap!”

“You mean like Keyes?”

“Do you think Tartaros is involved?”

“They’re all gone. Besides, It’s not like they were the only ones who could perform necromancy.”

“So he was fighting dead people?!”

“Everyone calm down,” cried Erza, “this helps us immensely. Necromancy is a very rare magic. This will narrow down our search. Lucy, inform Warren that he needs to contact the guilds, to tell them to focus on rumors concerning necromancers.”

“You got it,” she said heading out.

“This is good. Now that we know what kind of magic we’ll be dealing with, we can formulate a strategy,” said Erza.

Natsu was barely paying attention, thoughts of Gray’s history with Silver and Keyes consuming him. “Do you think this has something to do with his dad?” he interrupted.

“It’s a possibility. But the ‘why’ isn’t important right now. We’ll deal with it when the time comes. Let’s just focus on rescuing him, then we’ll worry about the aftermath,” Erza said softly.

Happy climbed up into Natsu’s arms to offer his support. He knew how much Natsu sympathized with anyone when it came to fathers. If this really did have something to do with Gray’s dad, who could know how he’s handling it?

“Yeah. Okay. So...I guess we’re fighting zombies, huh?”he said with a cheeky grin.

* * *

That thing was brushing its fingers through his hair again. How long has that been going on? For some reason, it’s gotten into the habit of humming. Every time he woke up now, he heard it.

‘ _That’s not creepy,_ ’ he thought with a shudder.

The brushing stopped, and the hand reached under his head again, lifting it up, the cup of water at his lips. He tried to refuse this time, no longer interested in cooperating even that much. It held his head firmly and forced him to drink, making him cough and splutter. The coolness of the water was a balm to his pained throat, and his thirst won out, so he acquiesced.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it? No more fighting me, now. I don’t enjoy punishing you so harshly. Do you want more water? You need to keep your strength up. We can’t have you dying on us, now.”

‘ _Everything out of your mouth just now was a lie,’_ he thought morosely. He had no desire to talk anymore. At least he could focus again. His thoughts weren’t as jumbled at the moment. Everything hurt. He couldn’t open his eyes now. The skin across the top half of his face, centered over his eyes, was red and raw. He tried not to let the creature know how much the blindness was affecting him, but his heart wouldn’t stop racing. At least before, he could see what was coming. He was never one of those kids who closed his eyes when it was time to get shots. He didn't like being caught by surprise.

“Nothing to say? That’s fine. You can listen. You need to accept the fact that your father was not the man you thought he was. He was a thief and a liar. A murderer. He only cared about himself. I’m the one who’s taking care of you. I only want what’s best for the both of us.”

“...did you know...whenever your...lips are moving...stupid shit comes out?” he snickered. His voice was barely audible now, but easily heard in the silence of the room. He’d noticed it before, the lack of ease in his speech. Something was definitely wrong with his throat. The vocal chords? Great. He could add laryngitis to the list of suck.

“You’re only trying to hurt me because you’re feeling hurt...”

‘ _No shit_ ’

“...but you should give up these illusions you have that your father was a hero. He was the villain all along.”

‘ _Just shut up._ ’

“He wasn’t worthy of your love, and neither are your friends, for that matter. They’ve been such a bad influence on you.”

‘ _Oh my God, can you take my ears, now, please?_ ’ He was suddenly tired again. That kept happening. Would this be the third time he will have drifted since he first woke up in this chamber? His body was demanding rest. Who was he to deny it? Maybe it was doing him the favor of getting him away from the crazy. Its hand was on his forehead. It wasn’t gonna start singing again, was it?

“You look listless, and your fever is getting worse. You should rest now. Don’t worry. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

‘ _Freakin looking forward to it,‘_ was his last sardonic thought before he drifted. But he thought he heard the thing humming again. It was off key, and sounded really distant. But he thought the tune itself was oddly familiar.

* * *

“We’ve got another hit!” shouted Lucy as she raced into the room. “A team from Quattro Cerberus found a village, Helleborus, that’s surrounded by fields of every one of those plants on the list. But there’s more. The spymaster assigned to the team asked around, and found rumors about a longtime resident that everyone thinks is pretty shady. Stories have been going around for years that he used to practice some really dark arts. But he’s been keeping a low profile for the last couple of years.”

“That is very promising. We’ll add it to the list of possible destinations. But we should wait until we hear from a few more of the other teams before we decide where to go,” said Erza.

“Wait, that’s not the best part! When asking specifically about this recluse, the spymaster also heard a bunch of stories about a battle that involved him...and an Ice mage. One who wore armor and consumed ice.”

“That was Gray’s old man!” screamed Natsu.

“And the timing is perfect. After the battle was over, there’s been no further reports of dark magic or any strange happenings taking place in that village,” finished Lucy.

“So this is what we’re facing, then. The enemy has a beef against Gray’s father, and is taking it out on him,” said Lyon.

“Poor Gray,” Wendy said sadly.

“Those are very good findings. And now we have a motive. I think this is our best bet. Gather everyone together. We’re taking a train to Helleborus as soon as the next one’s available.”

“I’ll gather everyone. Let’s go, Carla,” said Wendy, already out the door.

“...um, excuse me, but, there’s no train going to Helleborus until tomorrow evening.”

Everyone turned towards a meek, middle aged man sitting behind the desk, seemingly trying to make himself look smaller.

“Who the hell are you?” asked Natsu.

“I..I’m the station master. This is my office. That young lady burst in here hours ago, saying you were all here on official business and that you needed the space.”

“Oh. I guess the place does smell like you. What are you doing in here?”

“I mean, I can’t just leave my office. The trains still need to run.”

“Erza, you need to be nicer to strangers when were using their things,” whispered Lucy.

“We needed someplace private to strategize. But that’s not important. Sir, I’m afraid you’re mistaken. That train is leaving within the next twenty minutes,” Erza said pleasantly.

“No, I’m not mistaken. I have the train schedules right in front of me. I wrote most of these itineraries.”

“Mister, I think you might be stupid,” Happy was heard saying in the background, unbelieving that anyone would argue with Erza.

Erza got that certain glint in her eyes as she replied, oh so pleasantly, “Of course you’re mistaken. The train we want is just waiting for us to board. It says so right here.”

In the blink of an eye, the poor station master found himself unable to rise, his tie stabbed into his desk by a requipped knife. Erza’s finger was pointing towards the desk, as if gesturing towards the schedules scattered about.

“As plain as day. Don’t you think we should stop wasting time? We’re in a hurry. If you would please be so kind?” 

Nodding quickly, he made the call to prep an engine and a private rail car, to be ready to leave in ten minutes. 

“Thank you for your cooperation, sir. You have our thanks, and will be thoroughly compensated by Fairy Tail.”

On the way out, Lucy gave her a scandalized look. “Erza?!!”

Without any sign of guilt, Erza kept her eyes ahead as she replied, “What? You said I should be nice. Did I not say please?”

* * *

**_"Don't be afraid in the dark of night,_ **

**_It won't be long til the morning light..."_ **

‘ _It’s that song again. It follows me. Every time I drift away. Was this the fifth time? The sixth? Every time I come to, the song’s there. I don’t remember...but I know it...so I guess...I do remember...Do I?’_

Humming

‘ _Now it’s humming again. Must not know the words?’_

**_"They call to me, as they call to you_ **

**_Through the fears we face when we're far from home..."_ **

Humming

‘ _If you don’t know all the words, you should sing something else. Idiot_.’

Fingers in his hair. Humming

‘ _What the hell is with your weird obsession over my hair?’_

**_"Don't be afraid, you'll be alright_ **

**_Mommy's here to hold you tight..."_ **

Humming

‘You damned humming bird.’

“ _ **The lion roars and the lamb cries out...”**_

‘ _By the way, you suck.’_

“ _ **They reign in peace in the lands throughout...”**_

‘ _You’re tone deaf, and you don’t know all the freakin words.’_

Humming

_" **Through the fears we face when we’re far from home...”**_

Humming

“...not...alone,” he croaked.

The humming stopped.

“You remembered our special song.”

‘ _I spoke aloud? What did I say? I don’t rememb...no...what did.._.?’

Confusion

“I sang it to you when you were just a little boy. Do you remember?”

‘ _The lion roars... and the... lamb...? I think...what?...I don’t...know_...’

“I would sing it when you were scared, and you couldn’t sleep. You were often scared at night when your father wasn’t home. It’s his fault you were scared, my little man.”

His brow creased. ‘ _Shut up’_

“I sang this song the night that demon came.”

His breathing increased. ‘ _SHUT UP!’_

“We all died that night. You haven’t heard our special song since, have you? Of course not. It was a song meant only for us. I wrote it just for you.”

He gritted his teeth.

“And your father did nothing to protect you. He left you. Abandoned you. All alone. A broken boy in a broken village.”

He strained against his bindings once more.

“But I’m here. Listen to me. Do as I say, and curse your father. Curse your friends. Leave everything behind. I’m all you need, my little man.”

“S..st..p.”

“Hmm? What was that?”

“Pl...ease...s...top.”

ooooo

The necromancer leaned forward, grasping the viewing lacrima in anticipation. Was this it? Was he finally going to break?! Trying to hide the excitement in his voice, he spoke through his puppet.

“What would you like me to stop, my dear boy?”...

ooooo

...you know I’ll do anything for you. Just do as I say. Be a good boy. I can stop the pain. Just give me—“

“No.” 

“...What?”

“Not that...l want you...to stop s...singing...You suck,” he breathed out as he relaxed his posture. He didn’t try to hide his smirk. Small victories. He wished he could see the old geezer’s face. It was a bitch move to use such a fond, though faded, memory against him. It might have worked, if he hadn’t been getting so good at channeling his sadness into anger the last couple of days. If it wanted to be a bitch to him, he could return the favor.

ooooo

He almost threw the lacrima into the wall. That impudent little bastard! What will it take to make him comply?! ‘ _Why is he so confident when I've taken everything?!’_ He raged for a few moments, spewing every profanities he knew. ‘ _There must be a way to break his will! I can’t move on to the final stage until he rejects that bastard, Silver! What could he possibly have within him that makes him so strong willed? His magic and curses are gone. His body is weak, broken, useless! He’s helpless before me, but he acts like he’s in power! WHY?!!’_

Pacing back and forth, he preceded to think back on all his encounters with the brat. Every time he thought he was close to crushing the fool’s spirit, he’d rally himself somehow and push back. How?! And then it hit him. The obnoxious cur was always going on about his stupid guild, and the foolish belief that his friends were coming for him. What nonsense. No one is that devoted to another. ‘ _So that’s why he’s so strong. He’s stubbornly holding onto the foolish belief that he’ll be rescued. That must be it. So I need only to break that belief.’_

Returning to the lacrima, he gazed into it. His puppet hadn’t moved, it’s voice silent without its master. Studying his victim, he zeroed in on his chest, and got an idea.

‘ _Perfect_.’

ooooo

He did remember that song. It’d been so long, and the trauma of that night had been so horrible, that he hadn’t thought of it since. He had forgotten it after everything else that’d happened over the years. Oh, he remembered his mom, his REAL mom, singing to him. But the song itself had disappeared from his memory long ago. He hadn’t realized how much he missed it.

He was starting to drift again. He jumped when he heard a sudden movement. The creature hadn’t spoken, or so much as twitched, since he told it to shut up. Then it suddenly stepped away, towards the brazier.

‘ _It’s not getting more ashes, is it? I wasn’t serious about the ears.‘_

“Been a while...thought I...broke your brain...or something...”

Was it wise to piss it off? Not much left in his arsenal. Probably stupid. Definitely stupid. Small joys. Oh well. Take what he could get. It sounded like it picked a few items off a table, and came back.

“I can see you haven’t learned anything about respect or obedience. I can only conclude that your guild is to blame.”

!!!

“You leave my...friends... out of this!”

“I see that hit a nerve. Here’s what I think. You’re so defiant because you’re so sure your friends are coming for you. Let me tell you that it’s impossible. This foolish belief in them is hindering your progress. So we’re going to remove that obstacle now. It’s time for you to separate yourself from that awful guild.”

He heard it place something, a bowl(?), on the floor below him, and felt its hand on his chest. He flinched, and started a renewed but fruitless effort to break his bindings. If only he could see what was happening. Of all the times he’s felt worry, anxiety, despair, since the start of this ordeal, this is the first time he’s felt fear. It was hovering over his guild mark.

“What are...y...?”

“You’re friends aren’t coming. You’re not one of them anymore. I forbid it. It’s time for you realize that only your family matters now. You only need a reminder. ” It raised its arm over his chest. He tensed.

“...the guild...is my family...Not you...Never you!”

“...Such ingratitude.” It plunged its arm down, the scalpel clutched in its fingers digging deep.

He hissed. In a moment he screamed. After a while, the sounds of his screams stopped. Though he kept trying. He kept screaming.

It was silent.   
  


* * *

**_In case it wasn't clear enough, the necromancer is very much not sane, and is projecting his own faults and sins upon Gray and Silver. About being cold hearted and a liar, thief, murderer. He honestly thinks Gray's stubborn forthrightness and unwillingness to fall into the illusion that this is really his mom is because he's such a cold-hearted bastard._ **

**_Who's Arius?_ **

**_The lullaby is an original verse I just threw together. Rhyming dictionaries are great. The necromancer didn't know all the words, as he could only catch glimpses of the song. He was purposely skipping over the lines about not being alone. Wouldn't want to get Gray's spirits up, would he?_ **

**_Next Chapter: Things escalate, while the team is closing in._ **


	5. Escalations

- _a little while ago_ -

...

...

...

‘ _It’s quiet here. There’s nothi...is there something?...I can’t see what’s here...could I before?’_

...

...

Flashes of darkness, screams echo

...

...

‘ _Who was that?... Are you here?...where are you?!_ ’

...

...

Pain. Unbearable. Unceasing. Rage. Despair.

... 

...

Panting...sobbing

...

...

‘ _It hurts... Oh my God...what?...’_

...

...

Burning...too cold...inferno...Scream

...

...

Cover your ears. Make the screams go away

...

The pain.

...

The fire...no...the cold

...

...

‘ _They're mine.’_

...

‘ _Please...be quiet...it was so quiet...so quiet...’_

_..._

_‘Why can’t I be weak? Just this once?’_

...

Louder. So Dark. So Cold. It Burns. LOUDER...PAIN

...

Gasp

...

‘ _I...I can’t...’_

_..._

_‘...please...no more...let me stay here...’_

...

PAIN

...

‘... _where it’s quiet...’_

...

PAIN

...

‘... _please_...’

...

‘... _please_...’  
...

PAIN

...

‘... _please_...’

...

PAIN

...

‘ _...I just...’_

_..._

_‘...I just..’_

_..._

_‘...want to go home...’_

ooooo

GASP!!!

He awoke in the same manner in which he’d passed out: Surrounded by an unimaginable fog of excruciating torment.

He thought everything he’d endured so far would have prepared him for whatever else the necromancer could have dreamed up. Reality said otherwise.

‘ _The bastard...no way...it can’t be...’_

He trembled, struggled, choked, bled, trembled some more. The pain wouldn’t stop. There was no relief. Every injury was alive and showing their displeasure. Blood seeped from his wrists and ankles, along his throat, across his chest. Especially across his chest. It seeped through the grate he laid on, pooling on the floor beneath him. The scratchy rag placed over the wound did little to stave off blood loss. He was nauseous and woozy, and wanted to pass out again. It was so cold. What made him wake up?

“Talk to me, little man. I need to know if you’re aware. Can you hear me?”

That sick feeling of its fingers running through his sweat-soaked hair again. This wouldn’t be nearly as bad if it would just drop the pretentious caring act.

“Don’t be stubborn. You know what happened last time. Tell me if you understand.”

It brought its other hand up, and laid it over the scratchy rag, pressing down just a bit. His eyes flew open for the first time in...however long. They were blood shot and scarred, seeing nothing. He didn’t even notice they were open. He just hissed and nodded. It didn’t release the pressure on the rag.

“I’m glad. You’re very sick, dear boy. You’re so warm. You should take better care of yourself.”

He caught most of that, but for some reason, he had trouble comprehending the words. He just kept trying to breathe through the pain, but all his other injuries were calling for his attention.

“Are you not going to answer me? You know it’s only proper to speak when someone is addressing you.”

More pressure, making him gasp as sweat poured down.

“Answer me!”

It pressed down further, and harshly twisted the rag.

Light exploded behind his eyes. He screamed in agony, body going rigid, trying to get away, chest heaving as he tried to take in air, the burns on his back pressing into the grating. Mercifully, he passed out again.

He hadn’t made a sound.

* * *

He was outraged!

Will that cursed son of a whore act as a stumbling block towards every stage of his grand design?!

The necromancer was starting to have doubts. Years ago, when he’d first come up with this vengeance scheme, he would have been happy just to have Silver exactly where his son was now. He would have had no qualms of using every sadistic technique in his arsenal to force out the most delicious screams from that demon. He would have killed him in the end, after prolonging his suffering as long as possible. And he would have been satisfied to live out the rest of this miserable existence, knowing that he’d tasted the sweetest revenge.

But instead, the beast had died. He'd lost his chance. Vengeance had slipped out of his hands. Until he found the son. He would have been satisfied to do the same to him. Let the boy suffer in his father’s stead. It would have been an eye for an eye. A life for a life...A son for a son.

But then he had remembered. From his many years of stealing knowledge from the best and the worst of mankind, he’d been able to procure a vague recollection of an ancient spell. The name of which was lost due to the degradation of the poor soul from which he had tortured the knowledge from. When fully actualized, it would allow the caster to retrieve what had been taken from them, provided that the exact toll of reciprocity be paid. The reciprocal toll, in essence, was to be paid by the one who stole the item, which would also have to be of equal value to that which was taken: in the necromancer’s case, his own son. It was perfect. Why settle for simply torturing the brat to death, when he could use him to pay the toll? The spell would only work under that condition. That was his newly revised plan. It took over a year to rearrange everything, but at the time, it was worth it. It would have been so poetic. Except for that infuriating stipulation.

The stupid cur would have to reject his father in order for it to work. This form of magic was so maddeningly particular. Had the necromancer been seeking an inanimate object, like an ancient tome or a weapon, then the spell could have been cast using a similar item. But Silver had stolen the necromancer’s son. Because he was the thief, he had power over him. He was essentially the gatekeeper, keeping the treasure just outside of the necromancer’s grasp, simply because he was the one who had killed the boy. For whatever reason, that “gatekeeper duty” was also held by his blood relatives. But that meant that the one specific gatekeeper had the key. In his situation, there were two requirements necessary to complete this spell: he needed to use Silver’s son to pay the toll to get his own son back, but in order to do that, he had to force the boy to deny his father. The spell stipulates that if Silver’s son were to do this, he would spiritually erase the essence of his father from himself, thereby making him the perfect toll; completely clean of Silver’s influence.

He had to get the brat to surrender himself, to lose himself in his anguish, to lose faith and reject the man who’d started this all. But if the brat couldn’t speak...

Were the actual, spoken words truly necessary for the spell to work? Magic is such a fickle thing. Often times, verbal incantations were absolutely necessary to bring about a reaction. But not always. The rules of how a living toll would have to reject the influence of the original debtor were rather vague in that regard. Perhaps a sign or gesture would do. If all he needed was the intention to reject his father, perhaps a verbal response wasn’t needed.

* * *

“You know your assignments. Contact me if you find anything. If nothing turns up, we’ll all meet back here by noon. Good luck.” Erza commanded.

Four teams set off in four different directions: Natsu with Happy and Lucy, Gajeel with Levy, Erza with Pantherlilly, and Lyon with Warren. Wendy and Carla remained with Porlyusica, assisting her in converting one of the cabins in the rail car into a makeshift infirmary. Hopefully, with Wendy’s magic and Porlyusica’s skills, they wouldn’t need to use it for too long. But it’s good to be prepared.

It was early morning. Their borrowed train was nothing more than the engine, the car containing the magical power source, and a fair-sized passenger car, divided into three cabins. Two were designated as “Boys’” and “Girls’” sleeping cabins during the night, while everyone congregated in the girls cabin in daylight hours to make plans or discuss any information gathered. The last cabin had been strictly prohibited as soon as Porlyusica took charge of it. For one, she wasn’t spending any more time than necessary with “you incorrigible humans.” Secondly, it needed to be sterilized from top to bottom, and she didn’t need whatever pathogens they were doubtlessly carrying to put all her hard work to waste.

It was a long ride to Helleborus, almost the whole night. The train engineer was currently napping in his private cabin located in the engine. After over-hearing the purpose of their mission, he had been quick to volunteer his services in driving the train. His various friends and family members had been saved once or twice by mages in the past. It’s only right to help them out when they’re in need as well.

Natsu’s team headed towards the residential district. It was agreed by all that Lucy would be best suited to questioning the local citizens. Her interpersonal skills were perfect for the job, and she could keep Natsu and Happy from going overboard fairly well.

Lyon and Warren would visit the seat of the local government, hoping to get access to the Office of Deeds and Records to find any known addresses of their suspect. Hopefully, a description of their alleged powers would be enough to narrow in down, as they had no name or description to reference. It would take a while to skim through all those files regardless.

Erza and Pantherlily investigated the merchant and trade district. It was possible that the necromancer didn’t make his own potions. Maybe if they found a shop that sold it, they could ask the proprietors if they could remember anyone buying an abnormal amount of the potion in question.

Finally, Gajeel and Levy were tasked with meeting the Rune Knight’s spy master, who had fed them the information about this town in the first place. Hopefully, he’d been able to gain more intel since then. Unfortunately, he had nothing new to report. He had chosen to stay, however, to assist in making any arrests that would undoubtedly come from this case.

Do to the fact that, even though this was their best lead, this was not their only lead, the rest of the guilds who’d been assisting in the search had decided to continue searching in other towns and villages. No one wanted to risk this town being a red herring, thereby needlessly taking resources away from the other towns. For the most part, Fairy Tail was on their own here.

It was Gajeel and Levy that found pay dirt. It was nearing noon, and no one had anything to report. About to turn back towards the rail yard, Gajeel saw some local tavern keepers in the process of getting their pubs ready to open. He made a beeline for the first one on the block, Levy fussing that they had no time for a drink.

“Trust me on this. Bars are some of the best places to find information,” he assured.

Taking his word for it, Levy remained outside long enough to inform Erza that they were going to be late for the rendezvous, but would hurry back right away if this search didn’t pan out.

Several pubs later, Gajeel was beginning to get frustrated. Most people didn’t come to these establishments this early in the day, and those who did were already halfway to getting plastered before he could question them. He was nearing the last two pubs on the block when he caught a whiff of something that made him turn his head so fast, he should have gotten whiplash. Levy stopped just before bumping into him, asking him what was wrong. He made eye contact with her, shifting his eyes back into the direction he was just observing, focusing her eyes there as well.

A man was climbing down from an upstairs apartment situated above one of the bars they had already checked out. He was upwind from their position, so his scent was carried straight towards them. As he made it to street level, he glanced around out of habit, about to make his way into the bar, when he caught Gajeel’s and Levy’s gazes. He paused, instantly weary of the scrutiny, and bolted in the opposite direction.

Gajeel smirked widely as he gave chase, yelling at Levy to keep up. She followed without hesitation, trusting him enough to know he’s got a reason for chasing a random stranger down the street. The man ran down the sidewalk, pushing other citizens out of the way. Gajeel leaped over some of the larger crowds that the man took a longer time pushing through, catching up to him easily. Levy was smart enough to go around the crowds. She wasn’t far behind. Seeing them catching up to him, he tried to lose them through a shortcut in an alleyway connected to the next street over. Halfway through, he rammed face first into a wall that had materialized out of nowhere. It was evidently made of concrete, if the letters it was composed of were anything to go by.

“Good job, Levy!”

Gajeel rounded the man up, slamming him against the wall again.

“No problem,” she gasped out, “so what’s his story?”

“Why don’t we let him answer that. You have exactly the amount of time it takes to piss me off to tell me why you have traces of our friend’s blood on your shoes,” he finished with a very menacing glare.

Immediately, the man developed a cold sweat, already trembling. Levy gasped, bringing her hands over her heart, suddenly filled with hope, and a little worry. The man swallowed, ignoring his obviously broken nose in favor of the very real possibility of facing a far worse fate standing before him.

He swallowed, took a deep breath, and said in a blood-induced, nasally voice, “I swear, I had no choice but to carve those seals into his skin. They would have killed me!”

* * *

It was the strong scent of ammonia that brought him back this time. The creature must really want his attention now, resorting to forcing him awake with smelling salts, rather than waiting for him to regain consciousness on his own.

He couldn’t tell if the pains have lessened, or if he’s so much in shock that his pain receptors were shutting down. He was pretty sure his eyes were open, useless as they were. Maybe he should keep them closed to avoid further damaging them. He had to snort at that.

“I’m glad to see you’re still of good humor. Listen to me. You’ve been making things more difficult than they have to be. I’m afraid I can’t be as patient as I have been with you. Your body’s giving out, but we need you alive. There are ways to meet our ends without risks of mortality.

That said, it then ripped the rag off of the wound over his guild mark. He cringed and ground his teeth. He could feel blood pooling along the poorly healed wound. It felt warm, a sign of infection. He was for once glad that he couldn’t see. He didn’t want to see the damage. It balled the rag up and crouched down. Taking his hand, still bound to the frame, it closed his fist around the blood-soaked cloth. Keeping its hand over his closed fist, it began to explain.

“I’ve tried to tell you, over and over, that your father was a horrid man, a beast, someone who didn’t deserve the love of such a precious boy such as yourself. I’ve been trying to help you become the man you were meant to be. But that can’t happen if you're still held down by these fake delusions of paternal fealty. You need to curse and renounce your father. It’s the only way you can truly be free.”

He couldn’t quite grasp what it was trying to say. He understood that it had some strange obsession with his relationship with his dad, but he could never figure out why denying him was so important to it. It was hard for him to concentrate, but at this point, any distraction was better than the constant pain.

“Now, I understand that you’ve suffered some kind of injury that took your voice away, but I believe we can still resolve all of our issues. This cloth in your hand represents your willingness to submit. Since you can’t speak out your rejection, you can just think it, and drop this cloth to let me know you’ve done so. That should satisfy all the requirements. You’ll be free of your father’s encroachment over your life. All you have to do is drop the cloth... However, if you still choose to resist, we will resort to more extreme measures of persuasion.”

It stood up and waited in anticipation.

Gray couldn’t believe the bullshit it just spouted off. Shouldn’t he be the delusional one by now? Forget being blind. He was seeing red now.

He opened his scarred eyes and turned his head as far as the bindings at his throat would allow, facing where he thought the creature would be. He gave it the most challenging glare he could manage, which was rather intimidating with the blood and scars criss-crossing his corneas and around his eye sockets. Instead of giving in, he clenched that cloth in a vice-like grip, squeezing the blood from its fibers, and with very precise movements, mouthed the two little words that most expressed what he thought of that proposal.

It wasn’t expecting that response. But it was prepared none the less..”If that’s the way you feel, then so be it. I gave you a fair chance. I tried to be loving, and caring to you. But you returned that love with malice. You’ve truly hurt me, dear boy. Taking that monster’s side over my own. I guess the only way you can appreciate my pain is to experience it yourself.”

It turned away and walked towards the table by the brazier. He heard it pick up an item, which made a ‘SNIKT’ sound as it was drawn from its sheath. A blade, then.

Gray braced himself for what was to come, hand gripping tightly to the bloody cloth.

It picked something else up that he couldn’t identify by sound and returned to his side. Placing that object on the grating on which he laid, right beside his head and within easy reach, it brought the blade against his shoulder. Slowly and methodically, it drew the blade across, leaving a very shallow cut, with only a small bit of blood beading to the surface. It must be a very sharp knife, as it didn’t hurt all that much. Then it reached towards the object beside his head. A lid came off. He had no time to brace himself when he realized the pure hell he was about to experience.

From within the container, he could smell salt.

* * *

Everyone gathered inside the designated meeting room within the train car. The rune mage, Shamus, was seated in the center, his nose generously healed by Wendy.

Erza started them off. “Now that your nose is healed, explain yourself.”

Shamus knew his chances were better if he didn’t mince words. “A few weeks ago, I was accosted by a group of men, who were led by a much older man. They smelled horrendous, like long-dead road kill. The old man said he knew I used to be a guild wizard, until I was expelled for stealing clients from other guild members. He said he wanted to hire me to cast a Rune spell. I figured I was really low on jewel, and if he was willing to hire a mage without a guild-“

“You informed Gajeel and Levy that you had carved runes into our friend’s skin! Let’s talk about that,” said Erza, her voice angry and tightly controlled.

“Um, later on, I...I showed up at the meeting place, but when I asked where I was supposed to inscribe the seals, the old man and a lady led me to the inside of the old lumber yard. I got really nervous when they led me to the kiln, but they both stepped inside, so I figured they weren't planning to lock me in. There was another man inside, unconscious. Dark hair, cross necklace. He had your guild mark tattooed on his chest.

“You did see Gray!” Lyon yelled excitedly.

“I never heard his name. I asked what he had to do with the seals, and the old man just told me to place them on your friend. Believe me, I had no idea that’s what I was hired to do. I told him I couldn’t do it, that I didn’t even fully understand what those runes did! He only gave me a week to study a copy of them, just long enough to be able to draw them. But then the man did something with his hands, and those men from before, the ones that smelled like death, appeared out of nowhere. He threatened my life! I had no choice!”

He looked around the room, hoping for some sympathy. No one offered. He continued. “I pulled out my Rune scriber and kneeled down to get to work, but he stopped me. He took away my scriber and gave me a knife instead. Look, I just did what I was told! I didn’t want to die!”

“What the hell do those seals do?” Natsu seethed.

“I don’t know! I swear I don’t know! I couldn’t even read the writings. They were ancient. He just made me infuse my magic into each Rune as I wrote—“

“You mean CARVED!”

“...yes... When the final Rune was...finished, I activated the seals. I didn’t notice anything happen, but the old man seemed pleased. Afterwards, they made me place runes around the doorways of a couple of underground chambers, designed to keep the doors closed to everyone but the old man and the woman. And to your friend. “

“Why aren’t you dead?”

Everyone turned towards Gajeel. He had a good point. What would stop the necromancer from killing Shamus as soon as his job was done?

“I was able to convince them that the Runes and seals would fail if I wasn’t alive to sustain the magic flowing within them.”

“Does that mean you can cancel the seals?” asked Lucy.

“No, I can’t. Not those runes. The ones over the doors are self-sustaining, drawing power from the ethernano in the atmosphere. They’re designed to allow entrance to only the designated clients. No one wants to pay the locksmith for a new lock if he has his own set of keys. As for the seals, I can’t tell you anything about what they do, but I do know that they are on a totally different level. As soon as my magic activated them, they were pretty much set. I’m not keeping them going. They’re drawing their own power as well, and they’re a whole lot stronger than the ones around the door frames.”

“How deep are the wounds?” asked Porlyusica.

“Deep. I was told to cut into the muscle. The old man didn’t want to risk it healing over, I guess.”

“How was he otherwise?” asked Wendy.

“He didn’t wake up at all while I was... cutting him. He was pretty out of it. He had bruises all over and his ribs looked pretty bad, but I’m no expert.”

“What do you think, Levy?”

“So far, everything he’s said about the rune magic holds up. If you’re asking about the possibility of breaking the seals, I’ll have to study them first. If we knew what they were used for, it would help immensely.”

“The sooner we get moving, the better. What’re we waiting for?” demanded Natsu.

“Now that we know more about what we’re facing, we need a layout of the land and a plan of attack. Mr. Shamus, you will lead us to the necromancer’s lair. Afterwards, you will be free to go. But you will be visited by the Rune Knights very soon,” said Erza.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Prepare for battle, everyone. We won’t leave Gray in the clutches of that evil mad man any longer. By the end of this day, he will be with us once more, and we shall all journey home together. This I promise!” exclaimed Erza.

“Hell Yeah! It’s about time. I’m all fired up!”

* * *

He didn’t know how many times he’d passed out. It wasn’t the same as when he was drifting. Before, it was almost peaceful. He’d drift in and out on his body’s whims. It was pleasantly cool where he went, not bitterly cold, and there were no sounds of screams. Now, he would be forced into wakefulness, having to endure every slice along his body, each one followed by a heavy dousing of that wretched salt, before another cut was made. It made sure to avoid his abdomen altogether, not willing to risk undermining the seals binding his powers. Instead, he now sported painful incisions along his chest and shoulders, down his arms, and feet. Even his legs weren’t spared, as the sharp blade bit right through his heavy, black cargo pants to reach the skin beneath.

At one point, a large dose of salt landed within one of the burns along his upper arm. That was the first time he’d passed out. After that interesting discovery, it’s taken a pleasure in drawing out the process, walking extra quietly, making him guess when and where the next slice would be. If some of the salt found its way onto his shoulders or back, it would watch him scream his silent, gasping screams until he passed out, then wait a little while before it forced him awake with those damned ammonia capsules again.

He hasn’t dropped that cloth yet, even while unconscious. It was as if he clutched it like a lifeline. Instead of being the symbol of his submission, it’s become his banner, symbolizing his dogged determination to hold out to the end.

It was after the last time he awoke that it noticed something was wrong. His fever rose yet another degree. He was slower to respond to the ammonia capsules now. It released the bindings around his throat to better prop him up, then forced water passed his chapped lips, down his throat. It couldn’t allow him to get any more dehydrated. He didn’t resist at all, and was barely responsive. Instead of forcing him awake, it allowed him to rest. It couldn’t afford to wait, but letting him die was worse. Not when they were so close.

It’s been hours since he fell silent. When he began to stir, it dabbed a wet cloth on his forehead, ever trying to come off as the caring, concerned mother. He opened his sightless eyes in confusion and shock. Breathing rapidly, uncontrollably, he looked around, trying to orient himself.

“You gave me quite the scare. You shouldn’t be this way. Curse your father, and end this torment. He never deserved this devotion”

The disorientation in his eyes faded, and he closed them. That’s right. He’s still in the chamber. He thought he should be concerned that he’d forgotten where he was for a second, but the stinging and burning pain brought him fully back to awareness. He wished he could speak, just enough to piss the thing off once more. Maybe it’d get mad enough to do something to make him pass out again. He felt even colder now, and a headache was forming as well. The wound over his guild mark felt inflamed. He knew infection when he felt it. For all this talk about keeping him alive, they sure sucked at it.

Picking up the knife again, it walked around to the side where he still kept hold of the cloth. Good. Now that he concentrated, he could still feel it in his hand. It crouched down, placing the tip of the blade alongside the four slashes that were already there. For some reason, these were deeper than the rest. Instead of slicing parallel to the other slashes, it pulled the blade perpendicularly over them. They were tally marks?!

“Five times. You've passed out five time since we started this little game. Five times you’ve forced me to take advantage of those very pronounced burns. They hurt so much more when salt is applied to them than these little paper cuts, don’t they?” It poured salt over the whole tally mark as it talked, causing the distracted Gray to pull painfully at his bindings.

This pain wouldn’t die down like others would. So long as the salt was present, they would continue to sting and burn. His breathing hitched, and he grit his teeth to stifle a silent groan.

“Do you understand now the pain your father had caused? It’s his fault you’re here, his fault that you’re suffering. It’s his sins you’re paying for! He owes a debt that must be repaid. It’s your responsibility to pay it in his stead. But you don’t have to. Renounce your father! Disavow him, and you’ll be free of that debt!”

This is the first time it’s actually come out and given a concrete reason for his imprisonment. ‘ _Of course it’s about revenge. So dad did something to piss the old geezer off? Glad I could also be a member of this exclusive club.’_

His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden sensation. It was faint and almost filtered, but he definitely felt it. His eyes widened as he stared blankly at the ceiling, then the corner of his lips upturned very slightly as tears welled up in his eyes.

It stepped back in confusion, unaware of the reason for this display of such an unexpected emotion.

He could feel them.

Their magic auras were so faint to his senses, but he knew.

His friends have finally come.

* * *

‘ _What the hell is going on?! How did they find us? Impossible!’_

The necromancer stood in shock as he observed the arrival of the team of mages. How could they have possibly located him? He seethed as they approached the kiln first. It wouldn’t take long for them to find the trail from there to his underground lair.

‘ _NO! I was so close! I will NOT be denied!’_

In desperation, he returned the lacrima’s view back to the other chamber. If they were going to try to stop him anyway, then he would just throw all his chips in and see who came out in top. Fully aware that he had failed to get the bastard to submit, he would just activate the spell. What was there to lose? But before he did that, he’d take the opportunity to exact one more bit of petty revenge. Sending a few of his undead minions to take care of the rabble on the surface, he took control of his puppet for the last time.

* * *

Carla followed as Wendy ran out of the kiln with tears in her eyes. Gajeel’s nostrils flared and his brow was furrowed as he tried to control his anger. Natsu was pissed.

“I’m gonna burn that bastard to ashes!” he raged.

Lucy tried to calm him down, not fully understanding what had the dragon slayers so upset. “Natsu, what happened? Why are you so-“

“That stain on the floor is roasted skin and blood! Gray’s skin and blood! That bastard locked him up in this thing and...and-“

He couldn’t finish, so pissed off that he started tearing up in his anger. They all got the message loud and clear, however. Lyon had a haunted look on his face, feeling faint. Warren grabbed a hold of his arm to steady him, and led him outside. Erza and Gajeel followed, joining the rest of the team. Lucy gently took Natsu’s hand and led him out as well, whispering calming words as they went.

They joined the others just as Lyon was standing back up from a kneeling position, having just emptied the few contents of his stomach behind a tree stump. Porlyusica stood grimly over a somewhat composed Wendy, who was drying her eyes as Carla stood by her. Levy offered Lyon a water bottle to wash out the taste of sick in his mouth, which he gratefully took, while Pantherlily, in his full sized form, stood with Gajeel. No one said anything about the angered tears running down Natsu’s face as he tried to compose himself, Lucy embracing him from the side. Happy flew up into his arms, and Natsu took the moment to hug him tight as they both sought the comfort.

After they had all gotten their acts together, they refocused on the task. Shamus had said he was forced to draw runes in an underground lair. Gray must be down there. His story did not end in that kiln. No way in Hell. Walking around the kiln, the dragon slayers were quick to pick up the familiar scents of the strangers that were in Gray’s house. More importantly, they picked up Gray’s! Hope renewed, they all raced off, the team close behind. They ended up at a large outbuilding, which was quickly demolished when Natsu blasted it to cinders after determining it was empty. Looking down, they found a trapdoor on the floor.

“Everyone, this is it. Stick to your teams, and watch out for each other. Be careful. We don’t know the full extent of the enemy’s powers, and we’ll be fighting in close quarters. As soon as the retrieval team clears any obstacles and finds Gray, send a signal to-“

“Look alert. Something’s coming,” interrupted Gajeel.

The slayers were all instantly on guard as the smell of death suddenly appeared. Before anyone could move, nearly two dozen of the necromancer’s soldiers rose out of the ground. They were all geared with weapons and armor from different time periods. As everyone prepared to fight, Lyon bent down, both hands smashing to the ground. Instantly, ice exploded in all directions, leaving just the team inside an unfrozen circle in the middle. All of the creatures’ legs were frozen to the ground. It would have been nice if he could freeze all of them solid, but that was the limit of his static ice make abilities.

Remembering what he was told about that one creature ripping itself free from its icy bonds, Lyon readied another spell before yelling, “We don’t have time for all of us to stay and fight! The longer we wait, the more Gray suffers. Go find him! I’ll hold these monsters off.”

“Wendy, stay here and help Lyon!” shouted Erza.

“But what about Gray?!” shouted Natsu. Wendy furrowed her brow, also about to protest.

“We may face these creatures in the tunnels as well. There’s no telling how little space there will be. You’re fighting style is better suited for aerial combat. Stay up here for now, help Lyon! Porlyusica must be protected. Warren, be our eyes and ears up here. We’ll send word when the area is clear. Just keep those things away from the tunnels!”

“Okay! I understand. Carla!” With no words needed, Carla joined Wendy, and they were quickly airborne.

“If you think you can handle the necromancer on your own, I feel I should help them out here as well,” said Pantherlily to Gajeel.

“We’ll be fine. Keep them safe, Lily,” replied Gajeel.

“You all stay strong. Hopefully, as soon as the necromancer is taken out, these monsters will be done for.”

Without any further delay, Erza, Natsu, Lucy, Gajeel, and Levy climbed through the trap door, breaking off into teams to fulfill their assigned tasks. Catching the scent of each of their respective targets, Natsu and Gajeel nodded to each other and took off in opposite directions, followed closely by their teammates.

* * *

‘ _You lost, you son of a bitch,_ ’ was Gray’s very satisfied thought as he turned his blankly staring eyes towards the direction of the creature, the smuggest look he can pull off over the pain that still showed on his face.

It scowled as if it could tell what that look was saying, but smiled back vindictively. Too bad the brat couldn’t see it and fear.

Deciding to keep up the mother charade to the very end, the necromancer spoke through his puppet, “You’ve been a naughty boy, inviting your friends here without permission. You will all be punished for this. But you still have time to right this wrong. Renounce your father now, and your friends can go.” Whether he did so or not, the necromancer would still activate the spell. He may as well make one last attempt to to do it right.

For a moment, Gray worried for his friends. But he trusted them to take care of themselves. He had faith in them. What kind of friend would he be, if he were to give up after they went through all the trouble of finding him? He’d stayed faithful all this time. He wouldn’t give in now.

Outside the door, muffled talking could be heard. They were so close! Such a feeling of elation came upon him, that it nearly overcame the pain that still racked his body. Using the hand which still clutched the cloth, the one it, the necromancer, would be focused on, he twisted it as best he could, to face the back of his fist towards the creature, gave it a bloody, shit-eating grin, and extended his middle finger.

That was the last straw. The creature ripped the cloth from his cramped hand and threw it across the room. It turned back and glared, before it spoke. “I think I have been very patient with you. I’ve shown kindness and care. I’ve lovingly corrected your poor behavior. I’ve tried to expose the evil that is that demon of a father to you, so that you could embrace the truth and become a better man. I’m sorry that you turned out to be such a bad son.”

For some reason, even though he knew that this creature was just a lying fake, a bastard using his poor mom’s body as a puppet; even though he had been determined to never falter in that confidence that it was never her; even though he had spent the last few days compartmentalizing the two as distinct beings, so as not to risk his sanity; those words still hurt. He knew it wasn’t his real mother, but the voice was still hers. The gentleness and warmth was still there. If he was able to see its face, he’d be able to tell just by the sight of the evil glint in its eyes that it wasn’t her, but he didn’t have that advantage. His face fell.

He heard it pick up the vessel of salt from beside his head. The lid came off and was dropped to the floor. He braced himself as best he could, but could never had been prepared for the punishment he was to endure.

The bastard upended the entire vessel over his whole torso.

* * *

It took several minutes, but Lucy was almost done when they heard a pained hiss from inside. It was oddly drawn out and breathy, coupled with heavy, agonized gasps.

“Almost there.” Lucy said with a slight quiver.

“Get ready.” Erza requipped a set of short swords, her usual blades too long for the tight space.

Natsu didn’t need to be told.

The runes glowed dimly and ceased.

Lucy stepped aside, bracing herself for a nail-biting wait as the others made ready to enter. Natsu raised a flaming fist and smashed the door off its hinges. The sight that met them would haunt their nights for a long time to come.

“GRAY!”

* * *

**_And we’re finally back where we started._ **

****

**_So, next chapter, we’ll see Gajeel and Levy take on the necromancer, while Natsu and company deal with Gray. And Lyon and Wendy..._ **


	6. Protect Them

“Talking”

‘ _Thinking_ ’

“ **Spell being chanted”**

* * *

“What a talented mage you must be, to be able to take down those runes so quickly.”

The necromancer watched the mages in the lacrima, seeing them through his puppet’s eyes.

“I’m afraid I can’t entertain you right now, but I’ll send some friends shortly.”

With that, he swiped the relic, Mika’s hair, off of the magic circle, placing it carelessly into a canopic jar, which also contained the relics of all of his servants who were currently fighting on the surface. He wouldn’t need it anymore. That done, he could now focus all of his energies towards that which he had been long preparing for. Walking into the center of the room, he looked down at the large magic circle that had been painstakingly drawn to exact details, every glyph and symbol placed precisely where they belonged. This would be the instrument of his enemy’s undoing, the source of his soon-to-be restored glory. Taking a long-practiced stance, he began to chant the incantation that he had memorized and recited to himself everyday over the past year. He would do this perfectly.

Outside the chamber, the runes keeping the other mages out were slowly but methodically taken down, one by one.

‘ _They will be too late._ ’

* * *

It was with a sense of befuddlement and wariness that everyone gazed into the chamber. The shock at seeing Gray’s condition was almost erased by the confusion caused by the sudden departure of the other person in that room. She just vanished, her body seeming to fall apart into dust. Natsu wasted no time in going to his friend, Erza close behind, looking into every dark corner for signs of danger.

“Lucy, watch the corridor. Whoever that woman was, she was most likely a zombie, and it sounds like more are coming.”

“Okay. I’ll also try to get the situation up top from Warren and an ETA for Wendy’s and Porlyusica’s arrival.” Lucy was willing to be the lookout right now, so they could be the ones to check on Gray. Though she loved him as her family just as much as them, and was scared to death of what they might find, they’ve known him since childhood. She also took Natsu’s earlier warning to heart.

Upon seeing Gray up close for the first time in days, the two friends were horrified by what they found. He was unconscious, with heat radiating from his skin, and hardly recognizable covered in all those wounds. Incisions criss-crossed his skin, and burns were noticeable as they disappeared towards his back. The burns across his eyes were especially concerning for them, but they’d worry about that later. They immediately started trying to undo the wires keeping him tied down.

Erza requipped a set of thick wire cutters and got to work snipping them as Natsu unfurled the loosened threads. He had to be gentle as he pulled at the wire that had bit into his skin, making this task go more slowly than he liked. While working at unwrapping the wire at his other wrist, Erza took this time to assess the seals carved into his stomach, and she found them truly disturbing. They still weeped blood here and there, most likely from the wounds being torn as he struggled. They were so deep and inflamed. But the most worrying was the dark aura about them. Just the design itself looked evil. It was so wrong.

Upon releasing his hands, they gently rested them at his side, careful not to touch the burns they now noticed on the back of his arms. Natsu was close to falling into a rage, but he kept his anger in check. It was when Erza was cutting the wires around his chest that he finally brought himself to look more closely at the damage. There was something strange about them, like they were contaminated with something. Did some of that zombie dust fall all over him? Gross! Confused, he sent his magic into the nearby brazier, causing the flame within to glow brighter, offering more light.

“Oh, shit!”

“What’s wrong?” Erza asked worriedly as she cut the last wire.

He couldn’t tell before. It was too dark, and all the blood covered the scent. But there was no doubt.

“He’s covered in salt!” he yelled as he desperately tried to brush it off.

Erza paled and got to work doing the same. There was a rather large amount, adhering to the blood, over where his guild mark was. Natsu was frantic in wiping it off, but paused when he noticed, upon brushing away the layer of salt covering his guild mark, another layer of salt was revealed. Followed by another. And another. Tears stung his eyes and anger clouded his mind as he revealed muscle instead of skin.

A gasp drew his attention to Erza, who was looking down at a bowl she’d just noticed on the floor. The contents of that bowl brought a horrified countenance to her face. Locking eyes with Natsu, she shared his sadness and outrage at what they’d discovered.

There wasn’t just a wound over his guild mark. It had been viciously cut away.

Suddenly, Gray stirred, gasping. Then he jerked violently, and struggled against them as they tried to prevent him from hurting himself more. He was breathing deeply, but irregularly, with a pained hissing throughout.

“Gray! It’s okay, we’re here. We got you. Listen to me! We’re getting you outta here!” Natsu desperately yelled.

Lucy looked back at the sudden activity, heart breaking, but kept her vigil at the door.

Erza grabbed his hand, only slightly surprised at how scarred and sticky it felt, trying to gain his attention. He grasped her hand with surprising strength, heedless of the pain that must have caused to the blistered flesh on his own, but wouldn’t answer, just kept convulsing in pain and confusion, teeth grinding between pained hissing. They weren’t sure if he heard them.

He opened his mouth as if to scream, and that same gasping hiss was all he could get out.

Natsu didn’t understand his actions at first, until he focused on his face and really listened. Only he could hear the torment in those quiet screams. Those screams? Hell.

“We need water. A lot of it! Now!”

“Natsu?” asked Erza.

“He’s screaming! We need to wash this salt off! We need water!”

“There’re a few jars of water here by the door!” yelled Lucy, pointing towards a supply of large earthenware pots.

Natsu ran to grab what he could. “Bring more and help wash him off!”

Lucy was quick to follow, worry overriding any sensibilities she may have had about what she would see in there.

They poured all the water they had over him, being as thorough as possible to rinse every trace of salt from his body, paying special attention to the space where his guild mark used to be. Lucy tried to keep it together when she saw that awful wound. What kind of monsters were these bastards?!

He calmed down considerably. His body still shook, his eyes tightly shut, and he relaxed his grip on Erza’s hand.

Lucy sniffed and wiped her eyes, then quietly asked Natsu, “What did you mean, when you said he was screaming? He wasn’t making a sound.” She dreaded the answer, but knew before she heard.

He lightly placed his hand on Gray’s shoulder, causing him to flinch before he calmed again. “He can’t talk. I could tell he was was trying to scream, but...” Looking back to Erza, he asked, “What do we do, now?”

Erza kept gently holding his hand, speaking softly, cupping some water from a jar she’d reserved, trickling it through his hair. She hoped it helped with his fever, though she knew it was small comfort.

“Have you heard from Wendy?” she asked.

Lucy took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly before she answered. “Warren reported that the zombies are tough, but manageable. They’ll all make their way down as soon as they're sure they won’t be followed.”

“Gray, you with us?”

Natsu’s question brought both their attentions to Gray’s face. His eyes were open, staring in Natsu’s general direction, unseeing and confused. Though they all expected it was the case, it was still distressing to see his eyes so vacant and scarred. Is there anything those monsters didn’t take from him?!

He blinked once, twice. Furrowed his brow, parted his lips as if to say something, closed them again. They thought he was becoming more aware, until his breathing became strained again. He closed his eyes and reached his free hand towards his stomach. More specifically, over the seals. He turned almost white, blood draining from his face, and his friends asked what was wrong, regardless of the state of his voice.

Everyone stopped and stared at the seals. Specifically, at the strange runes circling the middle seal. The runes, unbeknownst to them, keeping his demon slayer magic at bay. They were emitting an eerie glow.

What the hell was going on?

* * *

Levy was just finishing the last of the runes when both she and Gajeel felt an incredible surge of power from within. It was dark and menacing, and seemed to be growing stronger. Steeling her resolve, she took down the final rune, and stood aside as Gajeel readied his iron club. In one blow, the door crashed inward, and they both took fighting stances as they entered.

They didn’t understand what they were seeing. An old man stood in the center of a brightly glowing magic circle, clothes flapping in the mysterious wind that somehow filled the chamber. He had a smile of triumph and ecstasy on his face as he turned towards them. The smile grew, and he wasted no time in bringing his hands together in a loud clap.

“You’re too late! But feel honored, as you will be the first to witness the return my true power!”

With that, a pulse of magic pressure emitted from his body, spreading throughout the entire valley like the ripple of a disturbed pond. All was quiet except for a rumbling as the pulse passed through the ground. Dirt fell from the ceiling, inducing a fear that it might cave in. Tense and alert, Gajeel and Levy started to wonder if the old man was just all show, when Gajeel’s senses went haywire. Something was coming. A great many somethings.

“What did you do?!” he yelled.

“Heh, heh, heh. You thought to face me with just the two of you? How many more did you bring? Those three in the other chamber? A few more on the surface? I have an army at my beck and call. One that can never be defeated!”

“Keep bragging! We’ve been keeping touch with them this whole time. They’re wiping the floor with your nasty little meat sacks!”

A sly grin. “Meat sacks. How droll. You’re not wrong. I’ve been burdened with those pathetic toys for so long. No, my boy. Thanks to your little ice mage, you’re about to experience the full extent of my true power!”

“What do you mean by that? What did you do to Gray?!” demanded Levy.

“I mean to say that without him, my return to greatness wouldn’t be possible. For a moment, I was unsure it would work. That stubborn fool was harder to break than I’d first anticipated. Imagine my delightful surprise! He must have given up! The happenings right now is evidence to that conclusion. Your friend, after going through unimaginable tortures, has become the payment to redeem that which was stolen from me!”

‘ _Surprised indeed. This power flowing in me is greater than I imagined. The real surprise is that instead of this power being made manifest in the form of my son, I was granted direct access to it. Amazing! I don’t need that disgusting Living Relic. Had I known I could have had all this power to myself, all at once, I would have killed the boy myself long ago!’_

Both mages were in shocked disbelief. Gray couldn’t be dead. They had no time to take in that concept.

A low, ominous howling could be heard, sounding as if a lone being was wailing, but as it grew closer, it became obvious that there were many voices joined as one. Gajeel and Levy both felt their hair standing on end. Whatever they were about to face were already here.

The necromancer chuckled and grinned in excitement. “And now you’ll see the results of his sacrifice. You think those mere ‘meat sacks’ were easy fodder. I agree. Raising the undead is a trifle skill. The most mediocre necromancers can accomplish that. It takes a true master to be able to call forth the very souls of the long dead masses. These are not soldiers of flesh and blood. They are the manifestations of all the anger, fear, despair, and darkness that overcame those who died wretched deaths on the battlefield. They are given form by their tormented souls, and fueled by their dark emotions. And they are under my irresistible command! Behold the unsurpassable power of Arius, the Tamer of the Death Realm! **Arise**! Display your terrible might, my Shades!”

Suddenly, the temperature dropped dramatically, so that they could see their breath mist before them. The lights dimmed, even though the many candles and lanterns scattered about still burned bright. It was as if the darkness was swallowing the light.

Out of no where, a multitude of dark specters appeared. They were all humanoid, each displaying haunting features and equipped with what seemed to be weapons made of shadows. The only facial features were darkly glowing, deep set eyes. Their forms weren’t solid, but acted more as a dark mist being forced into these human constructs, threads of that mist trailing behind them as they moved.

Levy and Gajeel stood back to back, weighing their options. They wouldn’t be able to figure out how to defeat them unless they knew what these things could really do first. Coming to the same conclusion, they eyed each other, Gajeel gesturing to follow his lead, getting a slight nod from Levy.

Gajeel let loose an Iron Dragon’s Roar, aimed directly at the necromancer. A wall of Shades materialized in front of him, taking the blow, their forms scattering into mere wisps of smoke as they absorbed the attack. Failing to take out the leader, at least Gajeel knew he could take the damned things out.

Levy tried a different approach. Focusing on a team of Shades charging straight at her, she raised her hands and shouted “ **SOLID SCRIPT: BUBBLE”.** A rather gutsy move considering the risks, but a calculated one. The large, whimsically letter-shaped bubbles entrapped every Shade they touched within their impenetrable barriers. A few hand gestures more, and the bubbles began to shrink. It was a comical sight to behold the wide-eyed looks on their faces as they were squeezed and contorted in the decreasing space. With a round of popping sounds, the Shades dissipated.

They grinned at each other at their easy victories. They could do this. Still surrounded by more Shades, they made ready to take on some more of the enemies, when they heard the old man chuckling.

“So amusing. You experienced a small feat of victory, and now you think you have a chance of surviving this. Allow me to show you something to help you rethink your folly. **Converge**!”

The still wispy clouds of smoke quickly came back together, reforming into the very same Shades that had been “destroyed.”

Levy summed it up for them.

“Oh, shit.”

* * *

“ **Sky Dragon’s ROAR!”**

A powerful force of wind consumed the dark specters before they could ambush Lyon from behind. They dispersed into clouds of smoke, and Lyon waved his thanks towards a retreating Wendy and Carla before freezing another group charging his way.

They had no idea where these things came from, but there were hundreds, and they kept coming. They did understand that the horde must be related to that strange surge of power they’d all felt moments before.

Panther Lily held his ground against a group trying to get to Porlyusica and Warren, swiping left and right with his enlarged sword. He gave a mighty roar as he jumped high and landed hard in the midst of the group, staggering them and taking them out with a 360 degree slash. Taking a moment to assess their predicament, he saw something interesting that he had to confirm.

Turning to Happy, he shouted, “Happy! Take Warren up to above the tree line. Warren! I need you to do some recon for me!”

“Aye, sir!”

“What! You want me all the way up there?! Hey, let me go!” cried Warren.

“Stop sniveling, you pathetic human! Get up there and act like you want to live!” shouted Porlyusica.

Smashing another specter to pieces, Panther Lily waited for Warren to connect with him.

‘ _Okay, we’re here. What do you need?_ ’

Lily replied, ‘ _I need you to tell me if you see any of those creatures in the daylight!‘_

_‘What?!’_

_‘Just tell me!’_

_‘Give me a moment!’_

Meanwhile, Lyon was starting to feel the strain on his magic. Scattered across the ground were frozen bits and pieces of the zombies that had confronted them earlier. With a good deal of teamwork, they were able to take them all down without any casualties.

About to gather together to head down the trapdoor to assist the other two teams, they felt that mysterious rumble, which collapsed the tunnel leading down. Not breaking in stride, they started digging. A few considered calling Lucy to have her summon Virgo to help them along. About to make that decision, they were caught completely by surprise by the sudden emergence of this army of specters.

He sent a barrage of Ice Make: Eagles that tore up a Spector that got dangerously close. Wiping the sweat from his eyes, he surveyed the scene. Walls of ice dotted the landscape, each containing a number of specters. While pleased that they were easily captured and sealed away, it was tiring trying to maintain these icy monoliths for so long. Static Ice Make was not his forte. It was like trying to do a new task, but lacking the muscle memory to be proficient at it. He was starting to admit to himself his appreciatIon of Gray’s proficiency with the skill.

He was considering simply breaking the ice, thereby also breaking these monsters to pieces, when Wendy came along and made the decision for him.

“ **Sky Dragon’s Wing Attack!”**

Granted, she was aiming at a small horde of specters that had converged in the other side of those walls, but the deed got done. Lyon relaxed at the decrease in his magic consumption. Maybe this could be their winning strategy. He could freeze the specters and let the others smash them to bits. It would save him the effort of sending out more Eagles.

“Excellent shot, Wendy! Any news on what’s happening down below?”

Wendy sent another blast of wind towards a group cresting a low hill before replying, “We need to find a way to end this quickly. Before this new wave hit us, Lucy was telling Warren that something was happening to Gray. Something to do with those sealing runes. I need to get down there!”

Carla added, “He hasn’t heard from them since. The other teams are probably facing these things underground as well. Warren doesn’t want to distract them.”

Suddenly, another shudder reverberated throughout the landscape. Wendy thought she heard a faint word echoing within that energy: “ **Converge**.”

Without warning, all the fractured pieces of ice shattered into even smaller pieces, releasing the small bits of dark mists still trapped within them. The everyone’s shock, every specter they had destroyed were renewed.

“These bastards can respawn?!“ cried Lyon. He took an Ice Make stance again and froze the huge crowd around them. All of them retreated to a more open area, one not surrounded by towering walls of ice. They didn’t want to get trapped.

Lyon was panting now, exhausted after creating so much ice at once.

“Are you okay, Lyon-san?”

“Just catching my breath. There’s gotta be a way to get past these things!”

‘ _Everyone! Listen up!’_

 _‘What’s going on, Warren-san_?’ asked Wendy.

‘ _Panther Lily had me fly up with Happy to confirm a theory he had. As far as I can tell, these things are avoiding direct sunlight!_ ’

Surprised, everyone took a quick look around. He was right. All the specters kept to the shadows and dark areas within the battleground.

‘ _Interesting. What can we do with this, though? The forecast called for an overcast sky all day. The sunlight is barely peaking through_ ,’ said Lyon.

‘ _Wendy, it’s Panther Lily. Hear me out. Do you think you’d be able to generate a wind strong enough to disperse some of those clouds?’_

‘ _I think I could do it, but that’s gonna leave me drained. I don’t know how much use I’ll be as a healer.’_

 _‘We’ll have to survive this fight in order to worry about it. Do what you have to in order to end this. We can use my methods to treat Gray until you’ve recovered enough magic to do so,’_ replied Porlyusica.

Before she could reply, they saw Happy descending towards them with Warren. As soon as he touched ground, he exclaimed, “We need to decide quickly! I just saw reinforcements coming through the forests. There are thousands of them! We'll be overwhelmed in minutes!”

Now with a sense of urgency, Wendy looked to the sky and breathed in deep. Letting it out, she looked at each of her friends, and nodded. “Warren-san, tell Lily to bring Porlyusica here. I’m gonna try to disperse the clouds over head. Hopefully, it’ll give us some breathing room, and we can come up with a new strategy together.”

“Understood. Good luck.” He turned away to relay the message, while Wendy turned towards Carla.

“Are you ready?”

“I’m gonna have to be. Let’s go. Stand back everybody.”

With that, Carla grabbed onto Wendy once more and soared high above. As she poured her magic into getting them as high as she could, Wendy gathered her own magic, taking in the cleaner air that exists at this height, giving her a boost in her powers. Within moments, she had entered into Dragon Force.

When they reached the appropriate altitude, she released her most powerful attack at those thick clouds, hoping to create as wide a hole as possible.

“ **Sky Dragon’s Rooooaarrr!”**

From their distance, the two friends saw the raging winds expand as they traveled higher. Upon impact of all that concentrated ethernano, the clouds above were pushed further up, waves of condensed water vapor rolling over themselves, imploding upwards into the ever widening hole. Soon, sunlight peaked through.

On the ground, the wizards welcomed the sun as it shone over the whole valley. Many of the specters caught in the wave were disintegrated instantly. The wizards didn’t celebrate, as they knew those creatures would only respawn in the shadows.

Upon returning to the ground, and being released by Carla, Wendy stumbled, but was caught by Lyon.

“How do you feel?” asked Porlyusica.

“A little tired. But I should have enough magic to heal some of Gray’s major injuries.”

“Provided we can get to him. How’d it look up there?” asked Lyon.

“We have a cleared space of about a radius of 700 meters. All those monsters are staying within the cloudy spaces, except for a few still waiting in the forests.”

“It’s not perfect, but it gives us time to think. Fortunately, the entrance to the tunnels are inside the safe zone. Let’s make our way there, and try to clear away some of the rubble. We need to reestablish contact with the other teams as well,” said Panther Lily.

“I’ll try Lucy first. If she’s fighting, she’ll be using her spirits. I hopefully won’t distract her,” reasoned Warren.

“How long do you think the clouds will stay that way?” asked Happy.

Wendy answered, “There’s no telling. There are too many variables involved. Let’s just hurry.”

* * *

“Grraaahhh! Where do these things keep coming from?” Natsu smashed another smoke zombie with an enflamed fist. It shattered into a black mist, only to reform several meters away.

Erza was currently clashing blades with what appeared to be an armored knight, based on the shape of the mist. She was currently wearing her Piercing Armor, which consisted of a breastplate, waist guard, gauntlets and leg plates, all having a greenish tint. She was armed with her Pierce Lance, which allowed her to thrust straight into her targets with enough force to disperse the mists. She did just that to the knight-shaped zombie, watching as it reappeared down the cooridor.

“Lucy, how’s Gray holding up?” she called back into the chamber.

“He’s still out cold. But there aren’t any changes since that seal did whatever it did to him,” she called back.

“So long as he doesn’t get worse,” mumbled Natsu. “Come and get some, you bastards! What’s stopping you? I’ll take you all on!”

For some reason, what Natsu just said resonated with Erza. What _was_ stopping them? A But before she could give it a second thought, she noticed a troublesome development.

“Guys, brace yourselves. More of those things just materialized behind the others. A lot more.”

She wasn’t exaggerating. The chamber was becoming so packed with smoke zombies, they couldn’t see the other side of the corridor anymore. They stayed where they were, though. Were they sizing the wizards up? It was too dark where they were to determine their mood.

Just then, Lucy came running out of the chamber.

“Guys, heads up! Warren’s trying to connect!”

A moment, and then, ‘ _Erza, Natsu, what’s the situation? Lucy says you’re all bogged down right now.’_

 _‘Confirmed. The enemy just sent reinforcements. Any word from Gajeel and Levy?’_ asked Erza.

‘ _I’m reluctant to call if they’re in the middle of a battle.’_

_‘Do you have any information on how to fight these things?’_

_‘We’ve discovered that they’re weak against direct sunlight. No clue if other light sources work.’_

_‘You don’t say. Stand by._ ’ “You heard the man, Natsu. Let’s test a theory,“ she said as she requipped into Flame Empress Armor.

“Lucy, you better shut the door and stand back! **Fire Dragon’s Rooaarrr!”**

Instantly, the entire corridor became an inferno. Eerie shrieks and wails were heard echoing down the tunnels. The zombies were gone. They’ve bought some time, and found an effective defense.

‘ _Warren, fire works as well. Inform the other team. Don’t worry about distractions. Gajeel and Levy can multitask pretty well. How are you all doing? We really need our medics down here.’_

_‘We’re doing the best we can, but we’re in a tight situation...There are thousands out here, Erza.’_

Erza digested that for a moment, then nodded. ‘ _Okay. Do your best. We’ll try to clear a way towards the other team, try to lend them a hand. Once the necromancer is defeated, these things should be no more.’_

After the link was severed, she turned to Natsu. “You heard all that.”

“Loud and clear. But we’ve got a problem,” he said, nodding towards the front. The zombies were getting brave again. He sent another dragon roar their way.

“How are you doing on magic?”

“If I gotta keep throwing roars at them, I’m not gonna outlast these things.”

“You should try to get to Gajeel and Levy,” came Lucy’s voice from the door to the chamber, “I’ll stay with Gray.”

“What if those things return?” asked Erza.

“Don’t worry. I’ll call Loke. His Regulus powers should be more than enough for these things. Besides, I have an idea to help defend this place!”

“If you need help, I’ll hear you,” assured Natsu.

“I know you will. Go help them. We’ll be fine.”

“Alright. We’ll try not to be long,” said Erza.

Turning to face the horde, Natsu readied his fists, engulfing them in flames. “Okay. Time to clear a path!” He took off at a sprint, charging at the zombies, some backing off to escape the approaching light. “ **Fire Dragon’s Rooaarrr!”**

Erza and Natsu made their way down the long, winding corridor.

It wouldn’t be long before more of those things would respawn on Lucy’s end of the hall.

“ **Open, Gate of the Lion: Leo!** ”

From a brilliant light appeared Leo, a serious expression on his face, already aware of the situation. “About time. I was about to come on my own. I could feel your stress like a beacon. How’s Gray?” he asked, turning to face him, only to stop at the sight of him. “Holy crap! Gray!” He hurried to his side, worry and anger evident in his face. “What the hell!?”

“It’s a long story, and I’ll explain as we go, but right now, I need you to be ready to defend this room when the zombies return.” She said that with such a straight face, she thought, that it was almost surreal. It was not something Lucy ever thought she’d hear coming from her own mouth.

He took a moment longer to study what was before him, paying particular attention to the seals on Gray’s abdomen. “Do you know what those seals do?”

“Not yet. They were glowing earlier, and he’s been out of it ever since.”

“Understood. Let’s get to work. But first, let me go back for a moment. I want to return on my own power, along with Virgo. She can help treat these wounds. Also, you need to summon Crux. These symbols are worrisome. It’s an ancient language; I recognize some of these runes, but Crux could probably tell you what they do.”

“Okay. I’m gonna start reworking the runes placed around the door. I think I can rewrite them to keep us safe in here until we hear from the others.“

“Good idea. I’ll be back in a moment.”

Trusting he’d return before she would be put in danger, she went about her task of securing the chamber.

* * *

Levy flew through the air, righting herself before casting ” **Solid Script: Wool!”** Caught by the fluffy, cushioning ball of wool, she breathed a quick thanks to Lucy‘a ram spirit for the inspiration.

Seeing Levy was safe, Gajeel returned his attention to the group of Shades he’d been facing. Bringing about his Iron Sword, he cleaved through the ranks, following up with a quick Iron Dragon’s Roar towards a mass of Shades that had just respawned. This was really starting to piss him off.

‘ _Gajeel, do you hear me?’_

_‘Lily! We’re getting hammered here? What’s going on?’_

Swinging around to send a shower of Iron Kunai at Arius, which were again intercepted, he listened intently as Lily replied, ‘ _Just a heads up. These things are weak against light_!’

He grinned. “Is that so?” ‘ _Thanks for the tip._ ’ Breaking the link, he shouted at Levy, who was casting Typhoon to smash through the ranks. “Hey, shrimp! We need some light!”

Looking up, she merely nodded, before raising her hands up and casting Lighthouse. A large tower appeared, basking the Shades in a rotating beam that penetrated every corner, disintegrating every Shade it landed on. The spell ran its course, and dissolved as Levy dropped to a knee, having used up a good deal of magic for that one. But the results were impressive. The vast majority of Shades were scattered into the ever present clouds, while a few could still be seen stalking about.

Gajeel gave a big grin, hefting an Iron Club as he said, “Good job, Levy. Take a break. I’ll handle the leftovers.”

She just smiled through her gasps of air and gave a thumbs up.

Turning towards Arius, he let his grin grow more menacing as he got closer. Seeing how the Shades reacted to the light only confirmed something he’d been theorizing about. Now that he had a little breathing room, he could put this theory to practice.

“What do you think you’re smiling at? Do you truly think you’ve won? I could easily reconstitute them in an instant. Meanwhile, you’re starting to run low on magic power.”

“How about you give it a try, you decrepit old goon? You showed us something impressive, I’ll give you that. Why don’t you let me return the favor?”

“You’re a very confident youngster. Or very arrogant. Fine. I can be a good teacher when the time calls for it. Let me teach you the consequences of a prideful heart. **Converge**!”

A wicked grin, then, “ **Iron Shadow Dragon Mode**.” Gajeel’s form instantly changed, his whole body being covered in dark metal scales, and tendrils of dark shadows flowing in waves.

“What!?” exclaimed Arius, eyes wide with disbelief.

As the Shades gathered around him, Gajeel let his eagerness grow. “You thought I wouldn’t notice how all the lights in here dimmed, even though all the light sources in here were burning the same amount of fuel they normally would? You can’t fool my nose, pal. You’ve got a darkness charm on this place. I’ve seen how the Shades avoid close combat whenever our powers manifest as light. The tip we got from our friends was just the clincher. And do you know what else I know about your zombie buddies here? They behave just like something else I’m well versed in, something that flees when the light appears. They may be rage-fueled monsters glued together by enslaved souls, but their very composition is built on a foundation of shadows!”

Fear appeared for just an instant in Arius’ eyes, but Gajeel saw it nonetheless. “Impossible. The Shadow Dragon Slayer is a member of Sabertooth! How can you have that power?”

“The kid came to a potluck and shared his secret family recipe. And you’re about to get a taste of it!” Gajeel instantly turned intangible, and ran towards the nearest Shade. He barreled into it. Instead of knocking it down or flying right through it, he entered it.

A look of surprise came to the creature’s eyes; then it began to convulse, it’s shadows undulating at an ever increasing rate. Then to Arius’ utter shock, it started imploding! In seconds, the Shade was gone, the last of it’s remnants disappearing into Gajeel’s mouth.

“Holy crap, that was disgusting! But I promised you a sample, didn’t I? Open wide, you son of a bitch. **Iron Shadow Dragon’s Rooaarrr!”**

As before, the other Shades gathered to take the attack, but instead of absorbing it and dispersing as usual, the force of the blast was too much, and it went right through the protective barrier. Arius took the blast in the chest, being flung back into the wall.

Gajeel stayed alert, waiting for the dust to clear. The remaining Shades were on standby, it seemed. Levy joined Gajeel, having recovered a little from her last spell. They weren’t done yet. The continued presence of the Shades were proof of that. They eyed the scene a little longer, until the sight before them caused their eyes to widen.

From the plume of dust came the figure of the necromancer. His clothes were in tatters, and he bled from a few places, but he stood straight and looked otherwise no worse for wear.

“I’ll admit. That was rather remarkable. But you know little still of what true power can do. You proposed that I have a darkness charm on my lair. That’s not quite accurate. I hadn’t deemed it pertinent to reveal it to you, as you are so far beneath me, it’s laughable. But I find myself giddy to spoil the ending for you. I’m not using a darkness charm. It’s a curse!”

Both wizards reacted in shock. Curse magic!? Were they dealing with one of the Books of Zeref?!

“You’re a demon?!” cried Gajeel. No, that couldn’t be right. All of those books would have been destroyed along with Zeref.

“Nothing so primitive. I am far superior to such an ill-conceived creation. The powers I’ve been granted allow me to access both sides of the primordial source itself. Did I not tell you? While your feeble spells are fueled by your weaker emotions of ‘love’ and ‘friendship,’ curses gain strength from the opposite emotions. My Shades are fueled by rage! Torment! Despair! They are beings that exist to bring order to the world. My order. Because I am truly the only one alive who can master both magic and curses!”

“You’re a fool! It’s impossible for humans to use both forms of power without consequences. They’re not compatible! If you continue to try, you’ll only destroy yourself!” yelled Levy.

“Your pet Demon Slayer seemed well adjusted to the use of both powers.”

“Don’t you dare call him that! He wasn’t our pet, and he was far more than just a Demon Slayer. Or a wizard. He was our friend! And you’re gonna pay for taking him from us!” screamed Gajeel.

“ **Abyssal Zone**!” called Arius.

All of a sudden, every light source in the lair went out.

The whole lair was consumed by the blackest night. Not a flicker of light could be seen. The Shades began to grow agitated, excited at the onset of the darkness. Their eerie wailing started off small, rising into a deafening crescendo.

Gajeel grabbed Levy’s hand and yelled, “Hold on, don’t let go!” Without warning, Levi began to sink. Wait, what? She struggled at first, scared at the unfamiliar sensation of being sucked into a shadow. But she held onto Gajeel tightly and trusted him completely.

They were in a strange place, existing on a different plane. There was light, dim and cool, like a black light, that swirled around in all directions. It was strange, because even with the light, she couldn’t see Gajeel. She couldn’t see her own hand. But she could still feel him, refusing to let go.

“Got any ideas?” his voice was close, and at the same time echoed in the darkness.

“I don’t know. I could possibly cast Light, but Arius would probably cancel it out.”

“Okay, well, we can’t stay in here indefinitely. My powers are almost gone.”

“What are you thinking?”

“I’ll release us from the shadow, somewhere high up, you cast the brightest light you can, and keep it going for as long as possible, or until that guy tries to cancel it out. Burn up as many of those things as you can. I’ll eat the rest, and use them to fuel an even bigger attack to take the bastard out.”

“What if there are too many? Will you be alright?”

“I’ll trust you to thin the herd,” he grinned, though she couldn’t see it, “and it might suck at first, but as soon as I release that disgusting stuff, I’ll be fine.

“You think it will be enough?”

“It’s gonna have to be. We don’t have any more time.”

Understanding that Gajeel meant that he couldn’t keep them in that shadow anymore, she squeezed his hand, letting him know she was ready.

Feeling that same strange sensation again, she felt herself moving through the shadows, coming to one of those swirling lights. With a small tug, they passed through.

She felt herself falling, but paid it no mind as she cast, “ **Solid Script: Light!** ” The whole lair grew bright in an instant, but it was snuffed out like a mere candle. “No!”

Not letting that stop him, Gajeel got right down to consuming the shadows in earnest. He couldn’t see in the darkness to tell how much progress he was making, or how many there still were. But he couldn't let anything happen to Levy.

Unfortunately, he bit off more than he could chew. The Shades didn’t just taste like crap. They made him feel like it, too. It didn’t matter that he could eat shadows. They still weren’t his primary element. He got that power boost, but he needed to use it before it caused more damage than it was worth.

“How do you intend to fight in the dark, dragon slayer? My soldiers are made of darkness itself. You stand no chance against them. Will you just fire off that ridiculously destructive power in my general direction? Imagine the risk you’d put the girl in. How can she dodge the backlash without running into a Shade?”

‘He has a point. I’ve got a fully loaded weapon right now, but no safe way to aim it. Smell and sound are useful, but there’s just too much chance of collateral damage when trying to discharge such a powerful weapon without eyes on target.’

“Gajeel! Help! They’ve got me!”

“Levy!”

“Heh, heh, heh. You foolish child. So focused on the prize, you didn’t even notice my assassin Shade approaching. That’s the advantage of this supreme power. My soldiers can use the skills they had when they were alive. You are surrounded by soldiers, spies, clerics, mages, and professional killers, who faught in countless wars over this country’s history. Now, live long enough to regret your hubris as that girl dies because of your weakness!”

“Hell no!”

Arius wasn’t expecting such a blunt denial.

“Heh, heh, heh. Amusing to the end. So much like your ice wizard friend. Tell me, child. What makes you so confident? How can you possibly still believe you can eek out a victory over me?”

“Because there are two things I have going for me.”

“What would they be, dear boy?” he said with an indulgent grin.

“First of all, all of your soldiers, assassins, mages, and whatever all have one thing in common.”

“Heh, heh. And what is that?”

“They’re all dead. Which means at some point, someone defeated them.”

“How very astute. I’m sure that tidbit will bring small comfort to the girl who’s about to die. And the second item?”

A grin. “I have a really strong nose. And I know my guild mate’s scent anywhere. Levy! Put up a water barrier!”

“ **Solid Script: Water!”**

**“Fire Dragon’s Rooaarrr!”**

In an instant, the whole chamber was ablaze with immense heat and light. Shades fell left and right, leaving dark clouds in their wake. Levy remained safe within her water barrier, though a little steam was rising at the edges; while Gajeel rode out the barrage in his iron scales.

When it was over, the Shades were massacred. Only a few remained. All the candles were melted down to nubs, but many still had wicks, which remained lit, casting a haunting glow within the now burnt out chamber.

Erza appeared beside Levy, hacking the Shades that still stood by her, to shreds. Levy released the barrier, and ran towards Gajeel, embracing him tightly.

“I’m glad you’re okay!” she cried.

“Me? You were the hostage here.”

“But I knew you’d protect me.”

“Damned right, I would. Ack! Woman, loosen the grip! If I don’t get this rotgut shadow crap out of me soon, I’m gonna have to sit out the rest of this fight!”

“You won’t need to worry about that, as this fight is coming to an end right now!” Arius once more called forth Abyss Zone, plunging them all into darkness again. The familiar clamoring of Shades wailing in the depths was heard.

“You’re right about that. Natsu! Do it!” Yelled Erza.

“Hell yeah! Gajeel, aim where I shoot, and give it all you’ve got! **Fire Dragon’s Rooaarrr!”**

No questions asked, Gajeel, eager to get rid of that awful aftertaste of shadow zombies, threw every bit of it into his attack as he yelled, “ **Iron Shadow Dragon’s Rooaarrr!”**

They aimed their combined attack at the ceiling, causing layer after layer of rock and soil to crash down around them. Erza requipped her Titan’s armor, shielding herself and Levy from the falling debris.

Soon, gravity took over, pulling at the damaged earth surrounding the blast radius. All that power tore through the final layer, until finally, they could see daylight. It was like a cascade effect. The impressively large hole grew even larger as more earth crumbled away. The whole ceiling was coming down!

Levy and Gajeel were worried of getting caught in the huge cave in, ducking under whatever cover they could find. Without warning, they were airborne.

For the first time in hours, they could see the sky. And they were seeing it from inside said sky.

Turning their necks to see behind them, they met the eyes of their Exceed companions, Panther Lily and Carla.

“We made it! I’m so glad it worked!” said a relieved Carla.”

“You guys! What’s going on?” asked an amazed Gajeel.

“It was Natsu’s idea,” replied Panther Lily.

“Aye sir! That’s Natsu for you. Always thinking the best plans are the ones where things explode!” said Happy enthusiastically.

“You got that right, Happy!” Natsu said as they drew closer to their flying companions. “When Warren told us the zombies feared sunlight, we had to come up with a way to bring it to them underground.

“And when Warren called them later for a sit rep,” continued Happy, “Natsu and Erza had already come up with the plan of blowing the place up!”

“All we needed was an escape plan so we wouldn’t be trapped in there, so it’s Happy to the rescue!” finished Natsu.

“But what about Erza?” asked Levy.

“You’re concern is unnecessary,” said Erza, joining them in her Black Wing Armor, “Let us meet the others on the ground. We need to regroup.

On the ground, everyone exchanged greetings. In the distance, Shades were still gathering by the edges of the sunlight, which has been shrinking as the clouds reformed to cover the empty space above.

“How is everyone, magic wise?” asked Erza.

Panther Lily stepped up. “I’ve already asked around. We’re all about depleted. This needs to end soon. Especially before those clouds take our sunny spot away.”

“Yes, we’re also in the same way,” she replied about the underground team, “What about Lucy and Gray? Have you heard from them recently?“

“Wait, you mean he’s still alive? That bastard told us Gray was sacrificed to give him that damned power up!” exclaimed Gajeel.

“He’s alive, but in bad shape,” answered Warren, “Lucy’s with him now. She’s got Loke and Virgo with her under their own power, so she’s not too drained yet. And she rewrote the runes around the door of that chamber to keep the zombies out. Loke’s on standby in case they somehow get through“

“Thank God,” Levy cheered, wiping away a tear.

“We need to come up with an exit strategy, now. I say we cut our losses, retrieve Gray and Lucy, and get the hell out of here. We can’t handle that horde of specters on our own. We need to take everything we know so far to the Magic Counsel so they can send reinforcements to the area,” said Lyon.

“I agree. None of you are in any shape to fight any longer,“ said Porlyusica.

“I couldn't agree more!”

Everyone turned as one towards the voice. About a hundred meters away stood Arius. He had an aura so dark that it was visible around him. Behind him, standing far off in the shadows, the wizards could see the massive army gathered in an actual military formation, perfectly aligned, as if they had all served together in life.

“You have some nerve showing up here with your neutered zombie army. How do you expect to beat us when your protectors can’t even get to us. I oughta beat your ass now and end this bullshit!” taunted Natsu.

“Heh, heh. They are called Shades, my boy. But I can understand your confusion. You think you can defeat me now, because, as you said so eloquently, my army is ‘neutered’ by this pesky bit of sunlight you’re all cowering in. Let me enlighten you, then, upon the difference between a mere zombie, and my mighty Shade Army: Unlike simple flesh zombies, my Shades can use magic. And they will demonstrate their talent for you right now.”

Alerted by this revelation, everyone could only watch as a group of Shades separated from the horde and raised their arms, each holding what appeared to be spectral wands or scepters in their outstretched hands. Magical power was emanating from the group, and a chill suddenly came upon the whole valley. Before the team could react, ominous clouds swirled and coalesced into massive storm clouds. Rain would quickly become a deluge upon the land, and their safe haven was a thing of the past.

“Now, what was that again about ‘beating my ass?’”

* * *

Lucy was pacing, waiting for Grandpa Crux to wake up with news about the seals.

Leo was sitting with Gray, reminiscing old stories of their adventures together, partnering on jobs, and hanging out with Cana at the guild until Mira kicked them all out to close for the evening. He talked quietly, just trying to fill the silence, not even caring if Gray could hear him or not. Lucy still chuckled at a particular anecdote she had overheard, something about Gray having to bail Loke out of the drunk tank after he had been carousing with Cana during the Rainbow Sakura Festival. She’d have to ask him to elaborate that one.

Gray was resting as comfortably as they could make him. Virgo had applied salves to the many cuts and contusions, dressed the ligature marks around his wrists and ankles, and, with Leo supporting him, rinsed his burns with fresh water she had brought from the celestial world. Lucy had hoped maybe the water would contain curative properties, but was satisfied that it’s superior purity would at least cleanse it of infection for now. The burns were left undressed, as such injuries were above any if their medical knowledge. The wound on his chest was worrying. What could mere first aid do for exposed muscle?

He still hadn’t stirred at all since that incident with the glowing seal. His breathing was so shallow, and he hadn’t so much as grimaced as they treated those burns. If it wasn’t for Leo’s assurances, Lucy would have feared him dead.

“Oh! Now that is interesting!”

Lucy jumped at Grandpa Crux’s sudden statement. “So you found something then?”

“Indeed. The inner seal is a complex piece of magic from the warring eras. It was at one time used against prisoners of war to keep their magics in check. It works by preventing the mage from absorbing ethernano into his body. They were quite effective on the battlefield, as most captured war prisoners were already depleted of their magic. They were very powerful, but were deemed too cruel a means to strip one of their magic. The mage was left incredibly weakened by the drain, with no way to replenish their origin. The use of such seals went out of favor after the discovery of sealing stones, which work by blocking the flow of ethernano out of the body. In the latter case, the mage in question at least has ethernano in his magical core, even if he can’t access it.

“This outer rune seal is even more concerning. These runes aren’t familiar to you because they are of a demon language. This seal was developed ages ago, when demons were more prevalent, and not as tamed as most breeds that live today, those whose ancestors hadn’t been wiped out during the dragon era. In those days, there existed demon slayers. There are very few on record, and some scholars say there can only be one demon slayer in existence in each generation, though that has never been verified.

“But those that did exist were immensely powerful. Demons feared them. It is because of this fear that this rune seal was created. It’s purpose is to seal demon slayer powers.”

“What?! I mean, that’s just over kill! Also, demon slayer magic doesn’t rely on ethernano. How does this seal work?“ asked Lucy.

“This is the reason why this seal is so insidious. Not only does it prevent the powers from manifesting, but when the slayer merely attempts to use his curse powers, the seal magnifies and rebounds the power back at the user. That power is then converted into pure pain. It causes such excruciating torment that the caster can’t even form the thought to cancel the spell. The seal continues to torture the victim until the initial power that caused the rebound is used up. The more power one puts into the spell, the more intense the rebound will be.”

Both Lucy and Leo were shocked. Even Virgo showed concern, even with her masochistic tendencies. “Thanks, Crux-ji-chan. This will be helpful later on when we try to remove it.”

“It would be a good idea to wait awhile on that, at least until your current enemy is defeated.”

“What? Why? I mean, it’s not like we can do anything about it right now, but why the wait?”

“Because that demon slayer seal is the only thing keeping him from becoming a sacrifice to the necromancer.”

That was a shocking surprise. Before Crux could elaborate, Warren linked with Lucy with such force, she almost got a headache. ‘ _Ow! Warren, what’s going on?’_

_‘This is Natsu! There’s no time! You gotta get out of there! Have Leo and Virgo take you to the celestial world now!’_

_‘What?! No! I’m not going anywhere. And what about Gray? Even if the seal wasn’t blocking all magic, he wouldn’t survive the trip, even with the clothes from there. The transit would kill him!’_

_‘There’s no choice! You need to leave! Please! You can’t die! At least one of us has to survive!’_

There was a crack in Natsu’s voice, revealing his sadness and despondency.

‘ _Natsu, what’s happening? You’re never this scared. You’re never willing to just give up! What the hell is going on up there?!’_

_‘The bastard necromancer has a freakin legion of zombies surrounding us. They can use magic. Lucy, he said he’s already sent zombies who can use rune magic to find you. We’re completely cut off from escape, and all of our magics are almost depleted. There’s nowhere for us to go. You have to leave, Lucy!’_

With tear filled eyes, Lucy still tried to deny him. ‘ _No. No! I won’t go! I can’t. How can you ask this of me? How can I leave Gray here, defenseless? How can I leave all of you there to die alone?!’_

Hallowly resigned, Natsu softly replied, ‘ _We won’t be alone.’_

With a sob escaping, Lucy replied desperately, ‘ _But I will be.’_

...

‘ _Lucy,...okay...okay. I understand. We’re in this together...Has...has Gray woken up?’_

_Sniff. ‘No. He...he hasn’t woken up, yet.’_

_‘Ha! Lazy bastard. Sleeping on the job... I’m glad you’re with him... I’m glad he won’t be alone when... You keep each other strong, you hear me? ...To the very end. Okay? Lucy?’_

Nodding even though Natsu couldn’t see her, she wiped her eyes before saying, ‘ _We will. I promise.‘_

 _‘And a celestial wizard always keeps her promise,_ ’ he replied softly.

Warren, with regret, interrupted. ‘ _I’m sorry. I’m almost out of magic. We have to end this quickly,’_ he said, subdued.

Another sniff, then, ‘ _Are Erza and Levy there?’_

 _‘We’re here. We’re all here,’_ came Ezra’s voice.

‘ _We didn’t want to leave you alone either,_ ’ said Levy, a quiver in her voice.

A sad and bitter smile. Then, ‘ _You guys. You’re the best friends I’ve ever had, the best people I’ve ever known. I don’t regret a single moment I’ve ever experienced since coming to Fairy Tail. I love you all!’_

Everyone was overcome with emotion, too upset to speak, until Natsu cleared his throat and said, ‘ _Yeah. We love you too...and I...I’_

_‘I know, Natsu. I know.’_

The link was gone.

And Lucy fell apart.

* * *

‘ _Something is different... Wrong._..’

...

Fear, Futility, Hopelessness

...

‘... _my friends... They came... I felt them’_

...

Anger, Despair, Doubt

...

‘ _I can still feel them...faint...distant...weak’_

...

Getting weaker

...

‘... _I can hear them...afraid...crying... Why are they.._.’

...

‘... _who made them...’_

...

Hopeless

...

‘... _who dared made them cry...?’_

...

Grief, Sadness, Racked with sobs

...

...

‘... _her sobs... my team mate... my friend...’_

_..._

_..._

_‘They all came...’_

_..._

_‘came here for me...’_

...

...

Pain, Grief, Sorrow

...

‘ _Here...because of me...’_

_..._

_..._

_‘No...not because of me..._ ’

...

Terror, Doubt, Pain

...

‘... _because of who they are...’_

_..._

_‘...my...friends...’_

_..._

_‘my family...’_

...

...

Pain

...

‘ _I...I...have to protect...them...my...my family...’_

...

...

‘... _my...Real...family..._

_..._

_‘...protect them...’_

...

Pain

...

‘... _PROTECT THEM...’_

...

...

...

‘... _protect my family...’_

* * *

_**I almost ended this whole story at the next chapter, as the conclusion is rather badass, and not a bad way to end. No worries. I’m currently working on the...whatever numbered chapter. It’s way up there. Like I said before, this is primarily a recovery/ friendship fic. So the next chapter will end Part One. The chapter right after that will be a transition, so to speak, and then we’ll begin Part 2 with the Recovery Arc.** _


	7. Demon Slayer

“Talking”

‘ _Thinking_ ’

_“Gray’s words being interpreted”_

“ **Spells being chanted”**

* * *

Leo was supporting Lucy as she cried. It took a while for her to compose herself enough to tell him everything, but as soon as she finished, he just pulled her to him and let her release her grief. He understood, and was terribly conflicted. Part of him was screaming to take Lucy and flee, but as she sobbed into his shoulder, he was gazing back at Gray. He couldn’t leave him either. But those damned seals prevented magic from working on him. If they were to leave, they couldn’t bring Gray with them. And Lucy refused to leave him...let him die alone.

Lucy would never forgive him if he forced her to go. He knows the feeling of guilt over causing the death of someone. Even if she would not had done anything directly, she would blame herself regardless. Gray was left in her care. She took the responsibility of protecting him. If he dies...when he dies...On top of that, she would also face a lifetime without her best friends at her side.

“I’m so sorry,” she quietly said.

“Whatever for?”

“For leaving you two, and all the others. For choosing to stay. I just...he...he’d be alone, and...”

“We understand, Princess,” Virgo said somberly. She stood by them, offering comforting words and another shoulder when needed. She had a rare sadness on her face. Lucy had sent Crux back to the Celestrial World. When this was all over, they would have to return as well to deliver the news. They’d need new masters. All of them would.

No one could replace Lucy.

He was still looking towards Gray when he saw him begin to stir.

“Lucy,” he said quietly, nodding his head towards the direction behind her.

She turned around, relieved and disheartened at the same time. She was glad he was waking up, but a deeper part of her had hoped he would sleep through the end. He’d suffered enough already without having to also experience what she was feeling now.

They rushed to his side. He was moving stiffly, noticing the new freedom of movement he had. Pain was ever evident on his face. After a moment, he forced his eyes open and gazed blankly.

“Gray, can you hear me?” Lucy softly asked.

He turned his gaze towards her direction, blinked and nodded. Lucy smiled sadly, and reached out to touch his shoulder. He flinched. She drew back, afraid she’d touched a sore spot, but was confused by the look of guilt and shame on his face.

He mouthed a ‘ _sorry_.’

Confused, as she didn’t understand, Leo helped her out. “He said he was sorry.”

Hearing Leo’s voice, Gray felt relieved as he took advantage of his presence, and went further.

”He...he also asks that you...please don’t touch him.”

Confused, she said quietly, not wanting Gray to feel bad at her disappointment, “But Erza touched him earlier.”

Leo returned just as quietly, “He probably wasn’t coherent at the time.”

Sensing the disquiet between them, Gray elaborated, closing his eyes as dark memories came to the surface.

Leo, frowning, interpreted. “He didn’t mean to make you feel bad. He’s not afraid of you. It’s just that... the _woman_ who did this...”

“I understand. It’s okay. You don’t need to apologize,” she said, trying to hide the sadness in her voice. Wanting to change the subject, she continued, looking at Leo, “You can read lips?”

“Well, I’ve kissed plenty of them. It’s only reasonable that l should learn to understand them as well,” he chuckled softly.

He hid a grin when he saw Gray mouthing “ _stupid cat’s got the order backwards.”_

Lucy gave a small smile, then, “And Gray knew of this hidden talent of yours?”

He turned a nostalgic look. “He’s the one who taught me.”

“Gray did? Okay, now I’m even more curious. But anyway, so, another one of your many exciting adventures together?”

“We may have gone on a few that required certain skill sets.“

She had to giggle a little. It was a relief to be able to have these small moments together. This light banter between best friends.

This picture suddenly appeared in her head, that of a scene from a story where the characters reminisce about times past, just before they meet a tragic end.

Lucy’s small bit of happiness died at that thought. What a stark reminder of the situation they were in. “...Look, Gray, I have to tell you something...to prepare you for...” She couldn’t bring herself to say what needed to be said.

But he opened his eyes again, deep in thought, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to do. She was puzzled by the unforeseen resolve that appeared on his features, and doubly so when he mouthed a “ _help me up,”_ struggling to move into an upright position.

“What are you doing?” She wanted to stop him from moving, but she was afraid to touch him again, “You're covered in wounds! You can’t get up. You’ll hurt yourself more!”

She was so concerned for his well-being, it didn’t even occur to her how moot the point was. They were all about to die anyway. What did it matter if he was standing or lying down?

Leo must have come to that conclusion, because he leaned over to gently grasp Gray’s arm and back, mindful of his injuries, and eased him into a sitting position, helping him swing his legs over the side. Lucy was annoyed, and ready to force him back down, despite her reluctance to touch him just a moment ago. Gray swayed terribly, hunching over, wrapping his arms around his abdomen, turning pale, before taking a few steadying breathes. He stilled suddenly, reaching weakly towards his chest. He felt the gauze over his guild mark, or at least its former location. Lucy wondered how aware he was of it’s state. He tapped it lightly, unsure how much he wanted to know about that particular trauma right now, and decided it could wait. They watched in concern as he reached to the left, patting his bare chest. His breath hitched as a sad look came upon him. It wasn’t unreasonable that he hadn’t noticed before, but still.

It suddenly clicked for Lucy, and she remarked, “Your necklace!”

Seeing his pleading eyes aimed towards her, she looked around frantically, but it wasn’t anywhere in that room. She regretfully told him so.

Simply nodding in understanding, he closed his eyes and gathered himself once more. He looked back up towards Leo. Very carefully, he mouthed what he needed from them.

Leo’s eyes bugged out. “Are you insane?! You can’t even stand!”

“What? What is he saying?” asked Lucy.

“ _I have to_ ,” he mouthed back, “ _It’s our only shot.”_

“You’ll kill yourself before the Shades will! This is crazy! Do you even know what’s going on out there?”

He responded.

“You felt it!? Oh, well that’s not vague at all!”

“What’s he saying? Leo!”

“He wants to use his demon slayer powers to fight off the zombie hordes!”

Lucy was shocked beyond belief. There’s no way she could let him do that.

“He says that just because he can’t absorb magic, it doesn’t mean he can’t sense it. He felt you all when you first arrived. He can also sense the auras of the horde. He says they’re fueled by curses, and only his powers can destroy them.”

“No...no, that’s..that’s not gonna..you can’t! You’re not in any condition to fight anything! That seal on your stomach? It’s powered by your curses to cause pain! The more you feed it, the more it inflicts. It’ll kill you!”

Gray answered as Leo kept interpreting.

“ _We’re all screwed anyway. May as well try.”_

“But you’re already in so much pain. I can’t stand seeing you like this!”

“ _It’s my decision.”_

“No! I’m NOT letting you do this. It’s suicide!”

Enraged, he ‘yelled’ back his response, the sound of his raspy hiss thunderous in the silence. “ _We’re already dying! I won’t let my friends die and do NOTHING!_ ” He breathed harshly, trembling with anger, eyes intense, if not focused.

Leo touched her shoulder, gaining her attention before she got angry enough to smack Gray, which she might actually do. “Lucy...he has the right to choose to fight.”

“And I have the right to stop him from being an idiot!” she sobbed.

At this, Gray’s countenance softened, and he gave a tender smile. That’s his Lucy. Always stepping up when her boys were playing the fools. He lifted his hand, and gently sought out her face, finding it. He placed his too-warm hand against her cheek, not even reacting to the slight pain the touch caused to his burnt fingers. Lucy paid no mind to his scarred hand as he felt the angry tears falling from her eyes. Thumbing a stray tear away, he guided his hand to the back of her head, bringing it close. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead, before resting his own on hers. A peace offering, for his earlier reaction at her touch, and for his actions now. He let her pull back, and her tears fell with abandon. He mouthed, slowly, carefully, “ _It’ll be okay_.” He wished he could promise her.

She understood. Giving a nod towards Leo, she backed away.

Leo leaned down, gently raised Gray’s arm over his shoulder, and stood, easing Gray off the frame. He stumbled, grabbed onto the frame for support, released it quickly at the contact of the metal to his burnt hands, and allowed Leo to take more of his weight. Leo noted to himself how much lighter he was already. Gray could feel wounds reopening. He hoped they wouldn’t notice, knew they probably already had. He nodded when he was ready, asking Leo to take him to the door. They led him forward, mindful of each step. They knew if he tripped and fell, he wouldn’t be able to rise again.

Upon reaching the door, he asked Leo about it.

“He wants to know if the runes you placed around the archway will keep the zombies out if we open the door.”

Because of course he knew her well enough to know she’d put her own runes up.

“It should. At least, they haven’t gotten in so far.”

Gray nodded, and pulled away from Leo. He nearly did trip, his legs barely managing to hold him up, while the sudden nausea did its best to put him down. He held himself rigid, and a cold sweat appeared. He was gasping, and his eyes were closed tightly. It was painful to watch.

Gray ordered them to open the door, taking an easy stance before it; standing as tall as he was able, arms relaxed at his side, head lowered to where his hair hid his closed eyes.

Lucy could only stare at the injuries she hadn’t yet seen along his back. She could understand Natsu’s reaction from earlier. Those wounds were horrid, and must be causing him agony with every movement. But even covered in all those burns and bruises, even swaying with each breath, even hunched slightly with the pain; Lucy also saw strength in that back. Most people see a person’s back because they’re walking away. Gray’s was towards them, because he would stand firm and defend to the last.

Because of that image, she began to feel a small light of hope.

Virgo took a position next to Lucy, ready to defend. Leo opened the door. The sight before them was expected but no less terrifying. The corridor was absolutely black with shadow, Shades as far as they could see. One particular Shade was before them, working at cancelling out the protective runes. They were almost through!

Gray saw none of it. Would he have hesitated if he could see the danger looming before him? Or would it have galvanized him more? He paid no attention to the sudden wailing from the door, or the sound of Lucy's steps as she drew closer to him, or to Leo’s ever dependable presence, readying his fists for what was to come.

He only felt the cold.

Steeling himself, he took in a deep breath.

He could do this.

Breathe out.

He’s felt more pain in the last few days than he ever thought he could endure in a lifetime.

Breathe in.

What’s a little more?

Breathe out.

Compared to the pain of losing all of his friends...his family?

Breathe in.

Never again.

Breathe out.

...

...

He made ready to call forth his curses, every last drop that he could muster, all at once. If he could bring out everything he had, condense it all into one massive surge, maybe he could overwhelm the seal. When he felt he had gathered it all, he forced it to activate.

The pain was exquisite.

Unimaginable.

All encompassing.

He pushed through it, letting it pass through him, using it, refining it. Telling himself it was worth it, to keep his friends from experiencing the same.

He would take all that pain, feel it all, so they wouldn’t have to.

More.

Push through the seal.

Colder.

More force.

Break the limit.

Don’t stop.

Protect them.

‘ _Let them live!‘_

ooooo

As soon as the seals started glowing, Lucy and Leo regretted their decision. Gray fell immediately to his knees, bent forward, eyes clenched tightly, mouth wide as a silent scream was continuously ripped from his being. His veins became prominent, bulging across his skin, to where one could actually see his pulse as his heart beat maddeningly. Suddenly, his body went upright, arms outstretched downward, as he threw his head back, still screaming, chest heaving, eyes wide open, and they were in awe to see them glowing an iridescent purple.

The room grew cold.

They stared as the inky blackness of his slayer powers slowly crept across his skin. Lucy’s seen this before, and it never ceased to fill her with amazement, and a little dread. But this time, she was unnerved to see the blackness cover his entire body. That had never happened before. His veins started to emit that same eerie glow as his eyes. Curiously, wisps of that power, appearing as purplish embers, seemed to ooze from some of the great many wounds that crisscrossed his skin, those which were too deep to have yet closed.

His curse powers were converging, concentrating, trying to find an outlet. She feared him in that moment, while fearing for him, torn inside for the anguish she knew he was experiencing. She feared his curses would build up to the point of tearing him apart. But...that small bit of hope grew as well.

The seals appeared to glow brighter against his black skin.

Finally, just as a seed of thought began to form in their heads, of knocking him out to stop any further torture, a pulse of immense power came out of him, like a super cold wave of pure energy spreading in every direction.

In that very instant, it was over.

Through the doorway, to their utter shock, and disbelief, every Shade that had once been so close to annihilating them had frozen in their place, before disintegrating into nothingness.

Gray collapsed to a heap on the floor, Leo just barely catching him. He was ghost-white now and convulsing, bleeding from his eyes, nose, even his ears. New bruises appeared everywhere, evidence of burst capillaries throughout his skin, his breathing labored. Those same wounds which had oozed power before had torn, rivulets of blood seeping all over. Lucy took him into her arms and cradled him as he rode out the pain. He stared to the side where his head lolled, until his eyes rolled back. He stilled.

Lucy just held him tighter, fighting the tears she refused to cry anymore. Gray hates it when women cry. For his sake, she’d hold back. There was no reason to cry anymore. They were saved. He did it.

She wouldn’t cry.

It’s gonna be okay.

Because he’d said so.

* * *

- _a few minutes before-_

Rain soaked the mages as they huddled close together. Levy provided shelter with what little magic she had left, as the others used themselves up, trying to live just a while longer.

Lyon froze Shades left and right, while Gajeel consumed any that made it passed him, returning them back to their master with as much force as he could possibly put behind his roars. Natsu could still use his fire in the rain, and did so with wild abandon. It was his efforts that’s kept them from being overwhelmed so far. Erza wore her Lightning Empress Armor, throwing bolts as far and as frequently as she could, lighting up the landscape, destroying the Shades, knowing it was futile. They’d just keep coming back. Wendy used Arms to. enchant their powers, even just a little.

They all knew they were delaying the inevitable.

“This is pathetically pointless. Why do you continue this charade? Just surrender now. I’ll go easy on you. I’ll even reward you. I’ll bestow upon you all a great honor; you’ll make fine additions to my undead army!”

“To Hell with you! We’ll never give up, not when we still have life in us! **Fire Dragon’s Wing Attack!”**

Once again, flames took out the Shades surrounding Arius, and once again, more appeared to take their place.

“You talk a good talk, but it’s all a bluff. Why do you continue to deny your fates? How can you still have such tenacity? Does your youth truly make you so foolish?”

“We stand strong because our friends make us strong!” yelled Erza as she flung a wide spread lightning bolt across the sky, hoping it’s light would dissuade a charging horde from flanking them.

“Hell yeah! The desire to protect our family increases our power beyond measure” added Gajeel.

“A Fairy Tail wizard never surrenders. They’ll stake their very lives to stand with their friends, carrying them if they have to. It can be annoying at times, but they’re a guild I will always want on my side. I’ll stand with them to the bitter end!” yelled Lyon.

One by one, everyone stood taller, leaning on someone if needed. They stared down the necromancer, fear evaporating.

The necromancer merely tsk’d and said, “Again with that tripe about friendship and family. Your stupid ice wizard would never shut up about it! Heh, heh...that is until I made him. I’ll be happy to be rid of you, just so I won’t have to hear it anymore. Where has your friendship gotten you? You will all die here! Weak and battered! Miserable! Alone! Powerless and without hope! And soon, I will add your wretched souls to my ever growing army, and you will help me spread my reign across the continent!”

Arius raised his hands to the sky, reveling in his oncoming triumph, and took a breath, readying to command his army to finally crush his foes.

The rain became snow.

So fast, so instantaneously, there was no transition between the two states. It was a warm rain that once fell. There was no steady drop in temperature. From one second to the next, the warmth surrendered to the bitter cold. Everyone looked around in wonder, and Arius paused in confusion.

The temperature dropped even more.

Natsu grinned.

Then they could all feel it. The influx of a powerful magic aura crashed through them as a shockwave of pure energy, no light, no sound, just magic.

No.

No!

Arius’ eye’s widened in horror.

Not magic.

Curses.

Before they could comprehend what was going on, the mages all stood in awe of what lay before them. Every Shade in the valley had frozen in an instant, before shattering into minuscule fragments, impossible to tell apart from the falling snow.

“Holy crap! You really pissed him off, you shriveled up piece of shit!” laughed Natsu.

Lyon was beside himself with relief and unexpected mirth, oblivious or uncaring of the tears streaming down his face as he simply said, “Gray!”

That one word sparked a new hope in each of them. The simple reminder of why they all came here in the first place restored their resolve.

The snow disappeared the same way it came, suddenly, with no sign, other than a lingering cold, that it had ever been there. The rain was gone as well, the clouds parting with the defeat of the mage Shades that were keeping them there.

They all rallied, and stood together to face Arius once more.

He stood dumbfounded. How could this be possible? The bastard’s son was still alive?! He could use his demon slayer magic?! How?! That seal should have been impossible to break. Not only was it necessary to block his ice magic so he couldn’t escape, but his slayer powers were especially dangerous. They could allow him to destroy the very essence of the Shades, leaving nothing that could return. A man who could use both magic and curses? “No! Only I was supposed to have power over both!” But when pitched against forces composed of both kinds of power, with the added slayer attribute, even his creations would have fallen to such destructive power. But he couldn’t have imagined this.

He wasn’t through yet, however. So the whelp destroyed his army? This valley was once the site of countless bloodshed. The dead are ripe for harvesting. He would just raise a new army. Let the brat destroy that one as well. He’d just continue raising more soldiers, over and over. With how close to death he’d left that boy, they would just see who would hold out longer.

He met their stares and stated just that. “You think you’ve won? You are gravely mistaken. I still have the upper hand. With my supreme control over the Realm of the Dead, I will raise an even larger army and crush you all to dust!

He got ready to call forth the dead again.

“Stop!” cried Erza, as she requipped into her Hearts Kreuz Armor, drawing her sword.

“Bastard! Dont you dare!” demanded Natsu as he ran forward, fists aflame.

He grinned and commanded.

Then he faltered.

He went wide-eyed and stared at nothing. He started to take unsteady steps to and fro. Then he screamed, loud and long, as light blasted out of his eyes and mouth. He fell back, bending at odd angles, trying to grasp at anything to hold, finding only dirt and gravel. He tried to understand what was happening.

His power was leaving him.

All of it.

How?!

Why?!!

No!

But he had no control over it. Every last dregs were leached out of him, leaving him as a writhing, shriveled mess on the ground.

It was over.

Fairy Tail has won.

But how?

Stunned silence overtook them. What just happened? Gajeel was the first to recover, ever the pragmatist, and roughly turned the old bastard over and cuffed his unresisting hands behind his back with magic sealing cuffs. He left him there with Panther Lily, who, even though he couldn't hold his larger form at the moment, would be more than enough to keep him in line. Porlyusica came and did a cursory check over, just to make sure he wasn’t dying or anything. No one wanted him to escape justice that easily.

Everyone else just stood there, completely at a loss. Just a moment ago, they were this close to death. Now, the valley was experiencing such a calm, it was almost staggering how normal everything looked around them.

Lyon drew himself up. “Everyone! The trap door! We have to finish clearing it out!”

A new sense of urgency came upon them as they all ran or stumbled back to the site, dropping to the ground, pulling out fallen rock and debris.

Natsu smelled it first. That all too familiar scent of apple blossom shampoo and cat hair. Lucy and Leo were coming. And also...

Gray! They were bringing him up!

“They’re coming this way! Lucy and Gray!”

They hurried their efforts, but needn’t have bothered. A rumbling sound could be heard, and they all backed off. Virgo appeared, leaving a large hole in her wake. Looking down, they saw Lucy and Leo, who carried an unconscious Gray in his arms. Natsu jumped down and embraced Lucy tightly, overcome with relief. He turned towards Leo, a grateful smile on his face. “Do you need a hand getting him out?”

“No. He isn’t a burden. Just leave us some room up there,” Leo replied.

“Got it.” Taking Lucy in his arms, with only a token protest from her, he jumped out of the crater, and put her down.

Levy was the first to run to her, then Erza and the Exceeds. Natsu had everyone back up to give Leo some space. From below, he leaped with a grace befitting his feline form, and landed as gently as he could, careful not to jostle Gray more than needed.

Lyon tore off his jacket and placed it on the ground, allowing Leo to place Gray on top of it. This was his first time seeing him, and it left him speechless. What the hell happened down there?

Without delay, Wendy fell to her knees before him and started churning as much magic as she could. She was determined to at least heal...anything right now. Anything to ease even a small bit of his suffering. She let her magic flow, light getting brighter as she increased the output of magic. Her look of confusion and loss grew with each passing moment. Why wasn’t he healing?

“Something’s wrong! My magic isn’t healing him! His body’s not accepting it!” she cried in frustration, still trying to force her magic in.

Lucy grabbed her hands to stop her. “Don’t. You’re only wasting your power. It’s not going to work. Grandpa Crux told me about those seals. That one blocks ethernano from being absorbed into his body. It must be blocking yours as well. Magic won’t work on him.”

Everyone was crestfallen.

“No, this can’t be. This isn’t right! How is this even happening! We came all this way, fought with everything we had, got him out of that hellhole! And for what?! He’s just gonna die?!! I won’t accept that!” raged Natsu.

“This can’t be...We...we were so close. This can’t be real. I can’t...I can’t go through this again,” Lyon lamented, at a loss for what to do.

Erza stayed stoic on the outside, but inside, she was shattered.

They had failed their mission.

They had failed Gray.

An air of sadness and hopelessness fell upon the group.

Porlyusica left Lily to his post and approached, having had enough of this crap.

“Stop your whining. We didn’t come all this way to give up now. And you certainly didn’t drag me all the way out here, just to forget about me and waste my time. You foolish ingrates!”

“Porlyusica-san, we didn’t mean any offense-“ began Erza.

“Spare me. Just start gathering materials to make a stretcher, and bring me my bag. I have medicines that aren’t magic-based, and I can at least redress these wounds. Levy, make some water. Natsu, boil it for at lest twenty minutes. And Wendy,“ her voice softened, “calm down. It’s not your fault that you couldn’t heal him. But you’re going to focus now, and help me. He’s not going to die. Do you understand?”

Wendy was filled with a new resolve. She dried her tears, furrowed her brow, and nodded.

”Good. Now,” turning to everyone else, “what are you all standing around for? If you weren’t given a job, find one! This isn’t a spectator sport!”

Everyone scattered to do her bidding. That left just her, Wendy, and Carla to tend to Gray.

Looking down at him, seeing his state, she took a moment to frown in consternation. Quietly, she spoke to him as well. “And you. Just look at the work you’ve given me. You better not even think of slacking off, and not doing your share. You fought hard for your friends. Fight for yourself now. Don’t you dare be ungrateful by dying on all of them. Your job is to live. Do you hear me, Gray? Live.”

He remained silent.

* * *

- _Somewhere in the depths-_

Dormant.

Ancient.

Forgotten.

...

Aware...

Immense power...so close...

Intense, Raw, Pure.

Cursed.

In MY place of rest?

The audacity...

...

...

...Awaken...

* * *

**_And thus ends Part 1 of “Let’s Play the Quiet Game”._ **

**_Please let me know how you enjoyed the first part. You may even let me know what you’d like to see in future chapters. If I like your ideas, I can be very accommodating._ **

**_The next chapter will be a transition piece, before we start Part 2, the Recovery Arc._ **

**_And I’m now confirming that I’m a glutton for punishment, because there is now a third part. And there goes my original outline. Originally, the rest of the story was going to be Gray coping with his friends trying their best to help him out._ **

**_Then I wrote part one. Wow. That was more action then I had planned for in the beginning, but this story just kept writing itself. Took me awhile to catch up. So then I thought, why all the action, just to let it taper off. Fortunately for me and you, a few lines thrown in here and there in the previous chapters were rather serendipitous, and lende_** d **_me some decent ideas. Hence those last few lines.._**.


	8. Dear Mom

_Dear Mom,_

_I’m sorry I haven’t written you in a while. I’m writing this from the hospital. Don’t worry. I’m not hurt. But I really need to talk to someone about what’s happened. It’s been a long week. Where do I even begin? The last time I wrote, we were getting ready to go on a mission to take out a roving band of thieves. Remember how I told you that I wished we could get something a little more exciting? Bandits are pretty mundane, right? Well, I’ve come to appreciate the boring missions._

_My friend, Gray, was really hurt this time. Very badly. It wasn’t even during that mission. We never got a chance to go. We still don’t know why any of this happened. All we know for sure is that an evil man had some kind of grudge against Gray, that went way too far. We had to rescue him, which we did. My team was incredible. If only we could have found him sooner._

_We almost lost him, mom. When we first found him, he was so badly injured, and when he was awake, he was in so much pain. But he still fought to save us. That’s an entirely different story, though. I’m still trying to deal with everything from then. Poor Wendy was so distraught that she couldn’t help him. We had to make the choice of either going to a hospital in the nearest city, or risk a longer trip to find one better equipped to deal with his condition. He made the decision for us when his heart stopped on the train._

_It was terrifying. We couldn’t use magic to help him, so we took turns giving him CPR until we arrived at the station in Iris, where a team of medics were called ahead to meet us. They took him away, and I haven’t seen him since._

_I know we saved him, but, Mom? Why do I still feel like we failed?_

ooooo

_Dear Mom,_

_I’m home now. My team stayed in Iris for almost a week. Everyone else left soon after Master arrived. He came as soon as he got the call about what happened. After a few days, he told us to go home as well and recuperate. That we couldn’t do anything more for Gray, and that we should let the doctors work. I think his decision had more to do with Natsu’s constant harassment of the medical staff. Lyon was allowed to stay. He was well behaved throughout, and even helped Erza keep Natsu in line a few times. I could tell he was relieved that Master knew it wasn’t his place to order him to leave._

_Gajeel, Levy, and Panther Lily got to work right away on investigating the bad guy’s lair. I don’t think they really have any authority to do so, since they’re no longer part of the Magic Council, but at this point, no one was going to say no to them. Warren left to return home, so he could tell the guild in person everything that happened. Porlyusica and Wendy were allowed to stay. Even though their magical methods weren’t useful there, Porlyusica still has a lot of knowledge about different healing methods. Wendy insisted that she stay, to add to her own knowledge. She’s still having a hard time dealing with her magic failing. I think she just wants to learn some backup skills, in case her magic couldn’t be used again._

_And Gray, he hasn’t woken up. The doctors in Iris were able to get his heart beating again and properly treated his burns. It wasn’t easy. They’re so used to using magical tools and healing lacrimas. Very few on the staff are well practiced in non-magical medicine. It took some ingenuity, but he’s alive so far. They’re still at a loss about what to do with him. There are so many injuries, and he’s been fighting a fever since before we even found him. No one’s sure if or when it will happen, but everyone agrees that allowing him to wake up now would be cruel. They want to keep him sedated until his wounds heal. Porlyusica thinks that’s unwise. They were short on non-magical drugs that could keep him under for that long. She wants to prioritize removing the seals that are blocking everyone’s magic from helping him. But even she says that will be difficult._

_I need to go, mom. Happy’s tapping on my window._

ooooo

_Dear Mom,_

_Natsu’s not taking this well._

ooooo

_Dear Mom,_

_We heard from Lyon today. He says there’s been little change. Gray’s color’s improved since he’s been on an IV. He was really dehydrated and half starved when we found him, but at least he’s getting nutrients now. He’s in an isolation ward. All those burns make him prone to infection, which he’s already fighting. The doctors don’t want to risk him getting worse. No one can see him but medical staff. Lyon said he’d go home for a few days. He misses his guild. I think it would be great for him to be with his friends right now._

ooooo

_Dear Mom,_

_Levy’s back! And she brought a souvenir. Gray’s going to be so relieved that they found his necklace. An old acquaintance of his found it among the bad guy’s things. I don’t even want to know why he had it, but we’ll probably have to find out. For now, though, I wonder how Gray knows that person from the prison?_

_I’m so glad that Levy’s here. I can really use her help with researching the seals. Gajeel and Panther Lily stayed to keep working on the investigation._

_Erza and I are going by Natsu’s house later. Happy will be glad for the company. Natsu’s still upset about everything. We’re going to see if he wants to go fishing or maybe take a mission. If all else fails, Erza’s willing to fight him._

_Erza hides it well, but I know she’s hurting too. She’s being way too accommodating, if she’s willing to fight Natsu without him instigating it first._

ooooo

_Dear Mom,_

_Master came back a few days ago. He hated to leave, but he wasn’t accomplishing anything there. He’s now working on getting Gray transferred back to Magnolia when he’s well enough to travel. I don’t know how long that will be. We all feel this sense of abandonment. Like we just left him behind._

_I just wish we could bring him home._

ooooo

_Dear Mom,_

_Natsu’s doing a little better. He found himself a project to keep himself busy. Mira, Lissana, and Elfman cleaned up the mess that was left in Gray’s home. Natsu stopped by while they were finishing up and said that it still smelled bad in there. Something had to be done about that. We ended up making it a team mission. My team all got together the next day, and ended up replacing the rugs and throwing out the furniture. Everyone at the guild chipped in to buy new stuff. Erza and I arranged everything. It’s nice. I hope Gray won’t mind the new decor. We were about to leave when Natsu found a small can of paint that was put aside. He told us to wait, then went back into Gray’s bedroom. The bed was new as well, but not made yet. The mattress is still in plastic, so with no worries of making a mess, it wasn’t hard to do one last repair job before we left._

_Happy goes there every day to feed Gray’s fish. Natsu wants to go by once a week to take care of the house. I quickly volunteered to help him. I’ve seen his house. At least he’s more like himself now. He’s still pretty down, but he comes to the guild everyday and hangs out with us. We’re going to start going on missions again soon. That should help bring things a little closer to normal for us._

ooooo

_Dear Mom,_

_I really miss Gray. The mission just wasn’t the same without him there._

ooooo

_Dear Mom,_

_I noticed Juvia hadn’t been in the guild much lately. I feel really bad. We all know how she feels about Gray. She must be so worried. She keeps begging Master to let her go see him, but he absolutely forbade her from going anywhere towards the north. She can’t even take a mission out there. I understand his reasoning. She does tend to go overboard when it comes to Gray. I think we all agree, it’s better to keep her away for now._

_Erza’s taken it upon herself to keep her occupied. Last I heard, she was keeping her busy with baking her favorite strawberry cake. I can see how that would benefit the both of them. Juvia loves to bake, and Erza certainly likes her sweets. This way, they can help each other cope. It’s a win/win._

ooooo

_Dear Mom,_

_Laxus and the Thunder Legion finally returned from their extended mission in Bosco. I’m so relieved that we can get Freed to help with the seals. The sooner we can get rid of them, the better._

ooooo

_Dear Mom,_

_I’m starting to hate cake, now. They just won’t stop!_

ooooo

_Dear Mom,_

_Gray’s being taken out of the isolation ward! I’m so happy! He’s still not well yet, but the burns have healed over enough that the risk of infection has gone down. He’s being transferred to the critical burn unit. He can have one visitor at a time, but only for five minutes. We’d have to get dressed in special gowns, masks, and gloves as well. He won’t be awake. And it’s a long journey to Iris. It’ll be worth it anyway. Just to see him in person, and know for sure he’s getting better. I can’t wait to see him tomorrow._

ooooo

_Dear Mom,_

_We saw him last night. We all took turns going in, and it was hard for each of us to leave. He looks so small surrounded by all that equipment. His doctor says they had to borrow a lot of machines from other cities, because of the seals. They can’t use lacrimas to monitor him, but they need to keep a constant watch on his vital signs. The technology is so different from what I’m used to. Intimidating almost._

_He was swathed in gauze and bandages all over, except for the burns. Something about them needing to breathe. It turns out his ribs were broken. I could slap him for moving around like he did. Then hug him afterwards. The idiot. The doctors wrapped his eyes as well. They’ve already determined that without magic, he won’t be getting his sight back. His corneas were burnt too badly. This is going to cause a whole bunch of new challenges for him now. We’re all brain storming ways to help him through that. Porlyusica is worried that if it takes too long to remove the seals, even magic won’t heal everything. There’s a window of opportunity to magically heal something before it’s too late to prevent permanent scarring. The burns may be a lost cause._

_He was so still. A machine was breathing for him, since the drugs he’s on prevents his lungs from working properly. I told his doctor when he was first admitted that something was wrong with his voice. But with everything else, it wasn’t a priority. Now she’s saying that the tube down his throat is interfering with the healing of his vocal chords, but it’s necessary. Maybe I can have Leo teach me how to lip read._

ooooo

_Dear Mom,_

_Leo is still a pervert!_

ooooo

_Dear Mom,_

_I’m such an idiot! I forgot all about Crux Ji-chan! With everything that’s happened, I hadn’t thought of him. But now that things are getting back to normal, I remembered. In that awful chamber, while we were taking care of Gray, Crux was trying to tell me something about the seals. He said they protected him! I can’t believe I forgot that! I summoned him just a while ago, and he explained everything! I need to get this information to Levy as soon as possible. She’ll make sure Gajeel gets it. But I just had to tell you first._

ooooo

_Dear Mom,_

_Gray had a bad day today. His doctor contacted us and said that the drugs he’s been on aren’t as effective as they used to be. They didn’t notice until the machines monitoring him alerted them that he was in pain. I can’t even imagine that. He was still unconscious, and he was in pain?! The doctor said that the drugs are very potent and highly addictive. That’s why they’re not working so well anymore. His body is adapting to them. They had to increase the dosage. He’s stable now. I was so scared when I heard. I want to go see him again, but with Levy away, I need to help Freed with the seals._

ooooo

_Dear Mom,_

_This stupid seal is kicking my ass!_

_I’m sorry. I’m just tired. And so frustrated._

_I miss you._

ooooo

_Dear Mom,_

_Porlyusica was right. Not that it mattered back then, since there was no other option, but still. The drugs aren’t working any more. The dosages they’re giving him are nearing fatal amounts. They’re poisoning him. Unfortunately, theirs is a small hospital, with limited access to other drugs. They exist, but they have to be shipped in. The issue is that the new drugs can’t be mixed with the old ones. They’re counteractive. They need to wean him off the old drugs before they can start him on the knew ones, because allowing them to interact together in his body would be deadly. It’s gonna be a difficult time for him. He’ll be awake for part of it. We’re all planing to be there when that happens. We’re not going to let him suffer alone. Not again._

_Please watch over him, Mom._

* * *

**_So this is just a transition chapter. I wanted to get right into the Recovery Arc, which occurs after a passage of time. Instead of going on and on about the several weeks before then, I’ve written for your pleasure a collection of drabbles, detailing the highs and lows of that time._ **

_**The next chapter begins the Recovery Arc, but there’s more to it than just Gray getting better. He got tortured nearly to death. It’s gonna take a while to overcome something like that, if ever. Meanwhile, things are still happening outside of his sphere of influence.** _


	9. It’s Not Her

**_Please enjoy the first chapter of the Recovery Arc, the second part of “Let’s Play the Quiet Game.”_ **

* * *

_**AN: The following takes place on the first day and night at the hospital.** _

- _Before_ -

Gajeel, Levy, and Panther Lily were marching down the hospital corridor, breezing by nurses and orderlies, as if they belonged there. Experience had taught them that if you look uncertain or confused, people will question your authorization to be in certain places. They didn’t have the time nor patience to put up with some power-tripping, third-rate administrator who got saddled with night duty because they couldn’t hack it with the big kids. They had a small window of opportunity to do this, and they weren’t going to let a little red tape stand in their way.

- _flashback-_

_“I’m sorry, you can’t go through that door. Only staff can go in there,” said the charge nurse to an eager Natsu._

_“But our friend—“_

_“—is under the best care we can provide. The best thing you can do is stay in the waiting area. A doctor will be out to see you when there’s news.”_

_“Natsu, come on. It’s okay. They’re taking care of him,” Lucy soothed. Taking his hand, she turned him towards the waiting others, mouthing a ‘Thank you’ over her shoulder to the nurse. The nurse gave an understanding smile and continued on her rounds._

_Erza was sitting with Gajeel and Levy, while the exceeds kept Wendy occupied. Her healing abilities were no good in this case, so she had no say in going through those doors. Porlyusica flatly refused to be denied entry into the emergency ward, and no one was able to say otherwise. Warren had gone to the communications center to contact the guild, while Lyon sat quietly in the corner. Everyone knew how upset he was. Everything went to Hell when those flesh zombies appeared._

_Lyon was originally supposed to be on the team that would rescue Gray, but had volunteered to defend the surface to prevent the creatures from interfering with the attempt. He hadn’t expected to need Wendy so badly. If both of them had gone down with the rest of the team, maybe Gray wouldn’t be so bad off right now. Of course, he knows now how fruitless those thoughts are. Wendy’s powers were no help, and he had no control over the circumstances._

_Warren returned with news that Master Makarov had already left on the first train to Iris. He wouldn’t arrive until later in the afternoon. The news startled more than one mage. Checking the clock on the wall, then the position of the sun outside the window, Natsu commented, “It’s already nine in the morning.” Things have been so frantic the last few days, that no one had really noticed the passage of time. It was almost sunset the day before when the fight ended. The journey to Iris was such a blur, with all the activity going on. It was still dark when they’d arrived into town._

“ _This is taking too freakin long,” said Gajeel._

_“It’s to be expected with all his injuries. I’m sure they’ll send someone out soon,” replied Levy, though lacking her usual confidence._

_“We should find lodgings for the time being. I’m sure we must look quite the sight to everyone here. Someone must stay, in case there’s news,” commanded Erza._

_“No way in Hell I’m leaving right now,” Natsu said, firmly planting himself in a chair. Lucy wanted to stay as well, but after taking a good look at everyone, she could only imagine how she looked. A bath and a change of clothes would make her feel more energized, at least. And she could bring Natsu something to eat, and maybe a change of clothes as well. Their bags should have been left in lockers at the train station, before their private train was returned to its railway company. It would be a quick trip if half the team went to retrieve everything while the other half went to secure rooms at an inn. She suggested as such to Erza._

_“A good idea. I’ll accompany you. Who will go to the inn?”_

_Warren volunteered, so all was settled. Lyon refused to leave as well, while Gajeel and Panther Lily elected to be baggage handlers. Levy coaxed Wendy into accompanying her and Warren, taking the other Exceeds with them._

_“As soon as everyone’s settled, we’re coming right back,” said Gajeel, Levy nodding._

_“I’ll return as well. But Wendy, Carla and Happy will remain at the inn,” said Erza._

_Wendy looked about to protest, but Carla stopped her in her tracks. “Agreed. We could all use a proper rest after all that’s happened,” she said, looking pointedly at Wendy. She merely sighed and nodded her head._

_Saying their goodbyes, everyone went on their way. Lyon settled in a chair next to Natsu, leaning forward with his head in his hands. He said nothing, just prepared himself for a long wait._

_Natsu just sat, surprisingly still for the usually energetic young man. Suddenly aware of the quiet in the room, he slumped down as well, continuously watching the doors._

_“I just wish we could see him.”_

-end flashback-

“Do you think they’ll let us see him?” asked Panther Lily.

“You think they could stop us?” answered Gajeel.

“They’ll put up a fuss,” said Levy.

“Let them. Master’ll cover for us.”

“It’s a shame Natsu and Lucy couldn’t come.”

“That hothead couldn’t blend in if he was invisible, and bunny girl would probably cry. We don’t need to make a scene.”

“True. We’re almost there.”

As they approached, they noticed the increased level of seriousness among the staff. Everyone rushed with a determined stride through the halls, no small talk among them. These were the people who dealt with the tough cases, and an air of super professionalism was the standard.

They arrived just out of reach of their destination, noting the doors locked with magic, requiring a staff ID to pass. The sign above the passage read “Special Isolation Ward.”

“He’s in there. They have to keep him separated from others, obviously. Don’t want to risk anything bad happening,” observed Panther Lily.

“How do we wanna do this?” asked Levy.

“It’s night time. Lots of shadows around,” Gajeel grinned.

“After you, then.”

With a whispered Iron Shadow Mode, Gajeel merged with the shadows that stretched throughout the hall. In mere seconds, he was on the other side of the door. The purpose of the locks were to keep non-personnel out, not to keep others in. Gajeel opened the door with ease, and the others joined him.

“He’s in S. I. Seventeen. It’s this way,” Levy whispered. She led the way down the corridor. They got a few looks, but since they got passed the door, everyone just figured they had permission to be there.

“You sure you’ll be able to handle this? It won’t be pretty in there,” Gajeel asked Levy.

“With what Gray’s going through still, it’s only right we’re here. I’ll be fine.”

They turned the last corner, seeing his room at the end of the corridor.

- _flashback-_

_“I assume you’re all here for Gray Fullbuster?” asked a petite older woman, around forty-ish. She was obviously a doctor, wearing clean scrubs and a lab coat. The fresh new scrubs didn’t fool either of the dragon slayers. They could smell Gray’s blood on her easily. How bad was it, that she had to change before she came out here?_

_“We are. I am his guild master, Makarov Dreyar,” answered Makarov, offering his hand in greetings._

_“A pleasure. I’m Dr. Crenshaw. I’m Gray’s primary physician. I assisted in his surgery.” Bringing her hands up to forestall the worried reactions, she waited until they settled down, and continued. “I’m sure the nurse came by earlier to give you the rundown about his injures. So I’ll focus on the most worrisome ones. The most obvious were the burns, which were left untreated for days. He’s been fighting infection for almost as long, so we’re giving him a broad range of antibiotics to help him fight it. He’ll also be kept in the Isolation Ward to decrease the risks of further infections. The injury on his chest is going to require special measures to get it to heal. The entire skin within the perimeter of the wound was removed down to the muscle. Both that and the burns will need skin grafts, and the chances of scarring are most certainly one hundred percent._

_“The most troublesome issue concerns his circulatory system. It looks as if his blood vessels were burned from the inside. I can only wager a guess that it was the result of a spell rebounding, but I’ve never seen an injury like this. It’s a miracle he didn’t succumb to massive internal bleeding. His skin is almost completely covered in bruises because of all the ruptured capillaries. As it was, some of the vessels near his heart did give way due to the damage to the lining. That’s what caused his heart to stop on the way here... as well as twice more on the operating table.” Again, having to forestall more reactions, “If his blood pressure hadn’t been so low, many more probably would have burst as well. Fortunately, there exists mundane, as in non-magical, medicines that aren’t affected by that seal, which we can use to treat the lining of his blood vessels.”_

_“What about his voice?” Lucy asked._

_“Pardon?”._

_“His voice was gone when we rescued him. He couldn’t make a sound,” said Natsu._

_Checking through Gray’s chart, Dr. Crenshaw found something noted there. “Hmm, the nurse performing the intubation noted extremely severe swelling and tearing of the larynx. Judging from the severity and...circumstances surrounding the rest of his injuries, I can hazard a guess as to the cause.”_

_“You’re saying the pain got so bad that he screamed to the extent of destroying his vocal chords,” Lyon said, shock and anger in his voice._

_“That’s correct. I’ll be sure to add this to his chart. I’m afraid it wont be a priority for now. Due to the medications we’ve given him, he’s unable to breathe on his own. He’s to remain intubated for the foreseeable future. That will inhibit the healing of his larynx, I’m afraid.”_

_“And what about his sight?” asked Erza._

_“We’ve focused so far on emergency care and wound treatment. We want to allow his body to rest and heal a little. We’ll have an eye specialist examine him at a later date to determine what course we’ll take.”_

_No one dared speak, choosing to defer to Master. He appreciated her professionalism and bluntness. No doubt she’s had a great deal of experience in talking to loved ones of these matters. He took all the information in before asking, “So what needs to happen now?”_

_“We’ve reached a difficult stage in his recovery. Due to those seals blocking magic, we can’t use our usual methods of patient treatment. This is severely inhibiting what we can normally do for him. For now, all we can do is wait and allow him to heal naturally. However, there is the issue of pain management. Since this hospital is mostly equipped with magic based technology, we have limited options for easing his physical suffering. Though I loath this idea, we have no other choice but to keep him sedated with a combination of mundane drugs. It’s crude, but effective.”_

_“It’s also dangerous and unwise,” added Porlyusica, “That boy’s injuries, without magic, will take months to heal to the point where he can function somewhat normally. Mundane drugs aren’t meant to keep a person under for that long.”_

_“I completely agree. Unfortunately, we have no other options. We just don’t have the proper drugs necessary to manage his level of pain without sedating him. Until that seal can be released, this is the best course of action. It would be cruel to do otherwise.”_

_“Isolation. So I assume we can’t see him,” asked Makarov._

_“Only medical staff may enter the Isolation Ward.”_

_“There can be no special allowance? My child suffered such tortures, is suffering still. He needs the assurance that his family is here to support him.”_

_At this, the doctor’s demeanor softened. “I know this is a difficult time for all of you. We’re doing all we can to keep him comfortable and help him heal. Even if you did visit him right now, he wouldn’t be aware of your presence. If you really want to help, do what you can about those seals.” With a last look at all their faces, she turned and left._

_All were quiet, digesting the news._

_“He can sense us. He told us as much, when we were trapped in that chamber. He may not be as aware right now, but that doesn’t mean our presence wouldn’t help,” said Lucy._

_“I’m sure they’re just taking every precaution to keep him safe,” muttered Lyon._

_Silence again. Everyone looked towards Master, waiting for his guidance. What they saw made them wince._

_He was furious. On the outside, he was as calm and poised as any wise and professional guild master ought to be. But they’ve known Makarov Dreyar long enough to recognize that steely glint in his eyes. After a moment, he made a decision._

_“Gajeel, Levy, and Panther Lilly. I have a mission for you.”_

_-end flashback-_

As they neared room 17, they remained ever vigilant. It wouldn’t do to get caught so close to their goal. Passing into the shadows again, Gajeel had no trouble getting pass the nurses station, while Levy’s and Lily’s short statures were a blessing as well. They arrived at the door. Room 17. He was in there.

“I’m sure you are aware that this is the Special Isolation Ward. You have no authorization to be here.”

Caught!

They turned around, finding a familiar face.

Gajeel scoffed. “What, and you are?”

It was the spy master.

“Of course. As a Rune Knight of the Magic Counsel, I have the authority to investigate all leads in an open case.”

“That includes seeing patients in isolation?”

“This uniform gives me a lot of leeway for behavior. You three ought to recall that. So, since you’re here, why don’t you join me?”

That was a surprise.

“You’re just going to let us in?” asked Levy.

“After seeing everything your guild’s done so far for your friend, I don’t think I’d survive any attempt to stop you. Besides, consider this a professional courtesy. Name’s Nate DeWalt,” he said, extending his hand.”

Taking his hand in a firm grip, Gajeel replied with a smirk, “That your real name?”

DeWalt simply grinned.

“If you’re here to question him, you probably won’t get any answers right now,” said Panther Lily.

“I like to at least give courtesy calls.”

“You could get in a lot of trouble for letting us in.”

“I’m a spy master. I was never here.”

With an exchange of grins and gratitude, they all entered the room.

Lying on the bed, surrounded by monitoring lacrimas and sealing restraints, was their target.

Arius.

* * *

-Now-

“When do you think Lyon will arrive?” Lucy asked while checking her watch.“

“There weren’t any trains from Margret Town to Iris until noon, so he probably won’t be here when Gray first wakes up,” Erza replied, fiddling with Gray’s necklace. She held on to it for safe keeping, looking forward to returning it to him as soon as possible.

Natsu was pacing up and down the aisle between a row of chairs in the waiting room. He kept sending glances towards the clock on the wall, before eyeing the doors that led into the ward in which Gray was getting settled. Porlyusica and Wendy were in attendance, taking extra precautions to ensure things ran as smoothly as possible. Makarov and Porlyusica made a very formidable team in insisting Gray be moved into a larger, private room. One in which visitors were allowed. The hospital’s administration was against the idea at first, but the master of Fairy Tail knew how to be persuasive. He wasn’t going to allow his child to wake up to a bunch of strangers in a strange place after everything he’s been through.

Team Natsu and Makarov were currently waiting for his primary physician, Dr. Crenshaw, to arrive, so she could explain Gray’s present condition, and to take them to his room. Natsu’s nose kept twitching, and Lucy knew he was trying to pick up the doctor’s scent. His head would shoot up and swivel towards the doors every time his sensitive dragon ears picked up the slightest sound of footsteps down the hall. Happy was sitting on a nearby chair, absolutely not getting sick at watching him go back and forth since they first arrived there several hours before.

“What the hell is taking so long?!” Natsu complained.

Erza simply grabbed him by the scarf as he passed by and yanked him down, to join the rest of them as they sat.

Lucy was a little more charitable when she said, “Just try to be patient. They’re having to move a lot of delicate equipment along with him. We don’t want them to make a mistake because they were in a hurry, do we?”

Natsu glumly nodded. It was not quite an hour later when Dr. Crenshaw, followed by Porlyusica and Wendy, arrived.

“Gray is starting to come around. You may come and see him, but try to keep the excitement down. His heart can’t handle too much stress right now. He’ll be extremely groggy and stiff. He’s bound to be disoriented, doubly so since he can’t see. Just try to keep him calm. Do remember that we’re allowing this only because you’ve convinced the staff that it’s in his best interest for you to be here. No excitement. Understood?”

Natsu pretended that second warning about ‘excitement’ wasn’t aimed at him. He just wanted to get going already.

Porlyusica stepped forward and stated, “I’m leaving for the inn now. I’ve done what I can, and I’m not too interested in your overly emotional reunions. Good day to you all.”

“Wow. She was downright cordial today,” said Lucy.

“Someone needs to wait for Lyon?” Erza asked.

“I can stay. I know how to get to Gray’s room,” volunteered Wendy.

“If you’re all ready, follow me,” said Dr. Crenshaw.

Following her into an elevator and down many halls, they came to stand outside a closed door. They could see through the small window, but a curtain had been pulled around the bed for privacy.

“It looks like the nurses are still in there. It won’t be too much longer. They were to assess his breathing to determine whether he could be taken off the respirator. This is a good sign that they’re still in there. That means they’re in the process of removing the intubation tube.”

For once they were happy to wait. A minute later, they were getting fidgety, and Lucy wondered at the concerned look on Dr. Crenshaw’s face.

“Is there something wrong, doctor?”

Before she could answer, Natsu’s head jerked up, and he busted through the door, pulled aside the curtain, and shouted with fierce anger.

“What the hell are you doing to him!”

They weren’t prepared for a sight like this. Gray, still very much injured, but not nearly as groggy as they had expected, was struggling against the nurses, two young women, and a male orderly. For how weak he was, he was putting up a decent fight. One nurse was doing her best to hold down his legs, while the orderly was trying to pull one of his arms down low enough for the other nurse to wrap restraints around his wrist. He was panicking, that much was evident from the heart monitor’s fast beeping. The tube still remained in his throat, but not attached to the rest of the machine, and the IVs in place to keep him nourished and hydrated were becoming entangled.

“What’s going on?” demanded Dr. Crenshaw.

The orderly responded, still holding his arm, “This bastard attacked a nurse! She was just talking about removing the tube, and as soon as she touched him, he grabbed her wrist and threw her off!”

“Call him a bastard again. I dare you!” yelled Natsu. Erza and Lucy both had to hold him back. Happy hissed angrily at the insult.

At the sound of Natsu’s voice, Gray jerked up and tried to raise a hand towards him, but the orderly took advantage of his loss of focus and slammed Gray’s wrist into a restraint. Gray broke the man’s nose in return.

His teammates were unsure what to do. These were the professionals, after all. Should they interfere? They should know how to handle this, right? Why was Gray acting like this?

Lucy had a sinking suspicion.

Screaming obscenities, the orderly backed off, as Gray reached for the restraint, which was hard to remove with his damaged hands and no sight. One of the nurses grabbed his arm, and it was like a shock went through his body. His friends couldn’t understand why he looked so terrified. He couldn’t tell up from down, his heart raced, and he could barely breathe. He struggled against the hold on his wrist, but he was losing the strength the initial rush of adrenalin had given him. He was on the verge of breaking down.

“What’s going on? What do you think you’re doing?!” yelled an angry voice.

Everyone turned to see that Lyon, followed closely by Wendy, had arrived, a look of rage on his face. She had heard the commotion before the elevator doors opened, and rushed here without any hesitation. Lyon knew better than to question her judgement and raced after the girl, overtaking her when he neared enough to see what was happening. His first time seeing Gray awake in almost a month, and he came upon a sight like this?

Gray turned his head towards the sound of Lyon’s voice. He didn’t understand what was going on. He couldn’t speak or see, he didn’t know where he was, and his whole body ached with a vengeance, never feeling so weak. His memory was hazy, but with Lyon here, he felt renewed hope. His presence made something click in his head. Lyon could help him.

Out of instinct remembered from another lifetime, he fell back into an old habit he had honed over the years. Just something to while away at between missions, to keep his molding sharp. He wasn’t even completely aware he was doing it, but in desperation, his mind felt the need to express his thoughts, and acted upon it. With renewed strength, he wrenched his free arm away from the nurse, ripping out the IV, making her stumble. Bringing his hands together, he started making nervous gestures. The other nurse pulled his hands apart, but he yanked his arm away and continued moving his hands, desperate for understanding, struggling through pain and constant interruption.

His friends were stuck, unsure of what to do. It saddened them to see him so distraught and confused, hurting himself and others. Each of them wanted to step in, but didn’t want to get in the way.

Lyon was at first shocked to see what Gray was doing, and then indignant once he understood. “Stop it, now!” he demanded.

They’d never heard Lyon yell at Gray before. Sure, he was worried about his brother, and they couldn’t stand what was happening, but he could be more patient, they thought.

“I said STOP!” With those words, he put his hands together and molded his magic. Before anyone could react, he had formed a pair of ice leopards, and sent them to each side of the bed, coming between the medical personnel and Gray. They were fiercely protective, snarling and roaring at the slightest movement towards the man they were protecting.

“What the hell is wrong with you? You’re scaring the crap out of him!” Lyon reprimanded, approaching Gray with caution, shushing him gently. He hadn’t been yelling at Gray, then. Everyone was once again confused and looked at each other, shaking their heads at each unasked question.

Gray had weakly made an attempt at curling into himself, rolling to the side of his restrained wrist, still moving his hands in odd gestures, breathing heavily and sweating profusely.

“It’s okay,” Lyon said quietly, soothingly, grabbing some clean gauze from the tray on the side table, gently stilling Gray’s hands, holding them in his own as he tried to stem the bleeding from the IV, “you’re safe. You’re not in that chamber any more. We rescued you, remember? You’re safe here.”

At the mention of the chamber, everything came back in shocking clarity, and his whole body stiffened. Lyon kept speaking softly, allowing Gray a few simple gestures here and there, not too much to strain himself. He released Gray’s hands just long enough to unlock the restraint around his wrist, then took hold of them again. Gray seemed to relax instantly, releasing a heavy sigh.

While they were doing this, Dr. Crenshaw finally understood what was happening and acted.

“You three may go now. Take him to have his nose seen to,” she said, nodding towards the orderly, “and return to your rounds. We will have a discussion later on, concerning the humane treatment of traumatized patients. Dismissed.”

With one last worried glance at the still prowling ice leopards, the medical staff left, closing the door behind them. Team Natsu were still wondering what was going on. This was not what they were expecting. They watched as the tension slowly left Gray, making him sink lower onto his bed, breathing slowing down. All the fight had left him, and he just looked exhausted.

Dr. Crenshaw, after checking Gray’s monitors to verify that he wasn’t at risk of a cardiac event, felt that he and Lyon needed a few more minutes to themselves, so she took the time to talk to Gray’s guild mates.

“I’m deeply sorry for what just occurred. I thought I had taken his trauma into account when we were preparing for his return to consciousness. Most of the staff are kept unaware of the cause of injuries on certain patients, for their privacy. The staff in the special trauma ward are specially trained to handle patients who have suffered under similar circumstances. But since we are in this ward, the standards of practice are different. I had neglected to inform the staff here against the use of restraints on him. It never even occurred to me that he would have the strength or awareness to resist. I take full responsibility.”

“It’s fine. It’s over now. It was I who insisted on moving him here in the first place. I hadn’t realized what a strain it would cause your staff. Since he’s calming down, we can put this incident behind us, no harm done,” said Makarov.

“Um, I don’t think it’s entirely your staff’s fault,” Lucy said timidly, “While we were trapped in the chamber, Gray reacted badly to me touching him. Loke implied it was because I’m a girl.”

“What ? You mean he’s scared of girls, now?” Asked Natsu as he scratched his head.

“I understand. When we first arrived there, a mysterious woman was there with him. It’s very likely that she was the one who tortured him,” Erza added, subdued.

“He said as much as he was gesturing to me.”

Everyone turned their attention back to Lyon, who had pulled up a chair and sat, softly stroking the still healing burns on Gray’s right hand. He had just told him to slow down, not wanting him to put up with even more pain just to get his point across faster. He looked so vulnerable right now. His eyes were wrapped in gauze and bandages, even after all this time. The tube in his throat was still waiting to be removed, and he had obviously lost weight. They were afraid to say anything, not wanting to disturb the silent tableau.

“He was terrified, because he didn’t understand where he was or why he was here. He remembers now, but before, all he felt was pain, and an undeniable, instinctual fear of being touched by those nurses. He wasn’t aware enough of what they were doing. One moment, a nurse was touching him, and the next moment, he was back in that chamber,” he finished quietly.

Dr. Crenshaw absorbed what he said, noting it on Gray’s chart while saying, “That’s a perfectly normal and understandable response. Again, I apologize for my lack of foresight...Will he...allow me to approach? I can remove that tube from his throat, and replace the IVs. It will make him more comfortable. If he prefers, I can call in a male colleague.”

Lyon said nothing, just squeezed Gray’s hand a little. He knew Gray had heard. After a moment, he squeezed back and nodded.

A look from Dr. Crenshaw was understood by Makarov, who nodded and herded his children out the door. Lyon was allowed to stay. Gray obviously needed the support from someone who could listen to him.

As they waited, Lucy was the first to speak. “I’m sorry, guys. I completely forgot about—“

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it,” Natsu said, pulling her into a comforting hug.

“That was scary,” mumbled Happy, “Natsu? He’s going to be okay, right?”

Natsu crouched to his knees to pet Happy’s head, saying, “Of course, buddy. Why wouldn’t he be, when we’re gonna be helping him every step of the way?” he grinned confidently.

“I’m worried whether our help will be enough,” Makarov said.

“Master?” asked Erza.

“Porlyusica and I have talked extensively about this. His body may be healing, albeit slower than we’d like, but his mind and spirit were also deeply wounded. We’ll have to be careful in our interactions with him, be observant, and take things slowly for now. Let him do things at his own pace. If he needs to talk, we’ll listen. And even if he has nothing to say, we’ll still pay attention. If he needs help that we cannot provide, we’ll seek help elsewhere.”

Looking up, he caught Wendy’s pensive look and acted to reassure her. “Wendy, don’t fret about this. Don’t make this your responsibility. We know you’re doing everything you can to help him. It’s only a matter of time until those seals are removed. Until then, be patient. You’ll be of immense help to him when that time comes.”

Wendy nodded, smiling a little.

“Gonna be tough to listen to him if he can’t speak,” Natsu said somberly.

“What was he doing with his hands earlier? Lyon acted like he was actually talking,” wondered Happy.

“He was talking. Just with his hands. He was using Gesture Speak. It’s a way for people who can’t hear or speak to communicate with others by using hand gestures to represent words,” supplied Lucy.

“Why does he even know that. He talks all the time, and I know he can hear. He gripes about Gajeel’s singing as much as I do,” said Natsu.

“You know what’s also weird? He knows how to read lips as well. He even taught Loke how to do it. Maybe I should call him next time, so he won’t have to use his hands so much. They’re still healing,” Lucy said thoughtfully.

Just then, Dr. Crenshaw came through the door. “He’s trying to rest now, but he wants to see you before he falls asleep. I’ve already told him about the situation with the drugs, so he’s wanting to rest as much as possible before the withdrawal symptoms kick in. Be quick about it, though. Sleep is the best thing for him right now.”

Gratefully, Team Natsu filed in, trying to be quiet.

Makarov held back for a moment. “You said the withdrawal will start showing itself by nightfall. How bad will it get?”

“Well, right now, he’s not feeling nearly as much pain as he should, due to the remnants of the medicine still in his body. By tonight, he’ll start feeling on edge, and a little sick. His symptoms will worsen overnight. Tomorrow, he’ll be feverish, and his wounds will bother him. It’s good that they’ve healed as much as they have, or I would seriously consider physically knocking him out. He won’t have the benefit of all that adrenaline keeping him functional like he probably had in that chamber. By the third day, he’ll be completely incoherent, totally consumed by pain, not just from his injuries, but from the withdrawal itself. It will be absolute hell for him, which is the reason I’m allowing you all to remain here to help him. After what happened today, I’m even more convinced of the need to have you here.”

“And after the third day, the drugs will be out of his system?”

“We’ll still have to wait one more day to guarantee all traces are gone, but after that, we can start giving him the new meds. They’ll work better than the old ones, and he’ll even be awake more often. The withdrawal symptoms will be more endurable on that last day, so if we keep him closely monitored, he should pull through without permanent damage.”

“Not from the withdrawal at least,” he reasoned. “Thank you, doctor. We truly appreciate all you’ve done.”

After a quick nod, she departed, and he entered the room. Everyone was crowded around the bed, though not too close. It was rather a quiet affair for this usually rowdy bunch. Happy was currently sitting on the bed, at Gray’s side. He was telling him how he’d gone to his house every single day to feed his fish. And he hadn’t “eaten a single one. Promise!” Gray smiled, just a little turn of his lips, but it made Happy relieved to see it. He was especially pleased when Gray lifted his hand to scratch his ears a bit before dropping it back down. Happy felt free to give his leg a nuzzle, which Gray was glad to allow.

He was propped up now, the head of his bed raised to allow easier breathing. He now breathed through a nasal cannula, a far improvement from that tube. Lyon was taking spoonfuls of water from a cup, freezing it, and feeding the resulting ice to Gray. It helped with his abused throat, and this way was quicker than having a nurse bring them some.

Makarov noticed Loke had been summoned. A good call. That would indeed allow Gray to rest more. Loke noticed him enter.

“Greetings, Master.”

Makarov reached them, jumping into a chair that had been set aside for him. “It’s good to see you, Loke. Thank you for assisting in being Gray’s voice. You as well, Lyon.”

Lyon merely nodded, keeping his focus on Gray, who had perked up a little at hearing Master’s voice.

Loke translated all he “spoke.”

“ _Ji-chan_?”

“Yes, my child. How do you feel?”

“ _Like shit._ ” He managed another small grin at that.

After a few chuckles, everyone else relaxed a little.

“I don’t doubt that...I’m truly sorry you suffered through all of this. Rest assured, everyone at the guild will stand with you, and help you in any way we can throughout your recovery. You won’t be alone. I’m so happy to have you back, my dear boy.”

‘Dear boy...dear boy...dear boy’

That phrase echoed in his mind, a vicious whisper from a cruel tongue.

He didn’t notice the ache in his still injured ribs as he slightly leaned forward, or his sudden intake of breath, or how he gripped the sheets into his fists, or the way his lips quivered, or his body as it began to tremble. His friends saw it all, with how fixated upon his well-being they’ve all become the moment they came in here.

“Gray, whats wrong? Can you hear me?” asked Makarov.

Lyon took his hand, prying his fingers from the blanket. Gray started breathing in short gasps, and he grasped Lyons own hand in as strong a grip as he could, his other hand rising up to grab at his heart. No...at his guild mark...

“Gray? It’s okay. We’re still here. Tell us what’s happening!” Lyon tried to sound calm, but they could hear the worry in his voice.

Natsu saw his lips moving, and as he zeroed in with his strong dragon’s eyes, he thought he could distinguish the subtle shapes and forms they were making.

“Her? What do you mean, ‘Her’?” He wondered.

Hearing this, Loke refocused on his friend’s mouth and read.

“ _It’s not her...it’s not her...please, not her..._ ”

Furrowing his brow, he repeated what he said. “He keeps saying ‘It’s not her.’ I’m sure he’s talking about the woman you saw in the chamber,” he said quietly.

Lucy, Wendy, and Erza were at a loss for what to do. If they tried anything, they might make things worse.

“I’ll go find someone,” Lucy said as she ran out the door.

Natsu was starting to freak out. He was saddened to smell tears soaking into the bandages covering Gray’s eyes. Supposedly here to help him cope with everything that’s happened, to keep him from losing himself when things got harder, to be his friends when he needed them the most, and they’re all practically impotent to do anything. He wasn’t one to sit out on a difficult fight, however.

“Can I touch him?” He asked in earnest.

Lyon answered, “I’m not sure. I’m afraid he might get worse. We don’t know what set him off.”

“Then why the hell are we here?” Natsu hissed.

“Natsu...,” Erza started, but she had nothing else to say. She wasn’t sure what was the right thing to do in this situation.

“It’s better than letting him suffer alone!” he cried as he got closer and took his face in his hands, turning it gently towards him.

Gray’s breathing became more panicked, and he raised his free hand to wrap around Natsu’s wrist. Natsu, very softly, started rubbing small circles over his cheeks, to just below his eyes, with his thumbs. Gray’s breathing hitched, then went back to that quickened pace. Natsu started whispering to him, just as Lyon had earlier.

Lucy returned with a nurse, a male one this time, who took in what was happening and went to check the machines monitoring his condition. “How long has he been like this?” he quietly asked.

Erza replied, “No more than a few minutes.”

“Can you do something?” Loke asked.

Checking Gray’s charts, the nurse replied, “He’s under a ‘no meds’ order, and according to this, magic won’t work either. The most I can do is treat any injuries he may cause to himself, and observe until this episode passes, so I can report everything I see to his doctor. According to the heart monitor, his oxygen levels are below normal, but he’s not in any danger yet. But I’d like to see his breathing calm down.”

“Gray, you hear me? Come on, ice block, listen to me. She’s not here. Do you understand? She’s gone. She isn’t here. We’re here. We won’t let her get to you anymore. You hear? You’re not alone.”

Gray’s grip on Natsu’s wrist tightened, and he started gasping for breath now. His monitors were indicating that his heart was beating frantically. Natsu took one hand off Gray’s face, using it to gently pry Gray’s hand off his wrist. He held it for a second, before placing it over his own heart.

“Can you feel that? Just relax, and concentrate on my voice. Don’t turn away! Just you and me. Feel me breathe, okay? In...and out...Can you do that? Come on, Gray, I need you to try. Please! Just breathe with me. In...out...in...”

Gray started to choke a little, trying to slow his breathing. He heard only Natsu's voice now, that echo in the darkness fading away. He concentrated on his breathing, feeling Natsu’s chest rise and fall rhythmically under his palm. He started to take deeper breaths, sounding almost like sobs, but he was calming down. The heart monitor began to slow, and his oxygen levels were rising back to normal. Natsu caught him as he slumped forward, and eased him back against his pillows.

Everyone sighed in relief that this, whatever it was, seemed to have passed. The nurse was about to examine him when Lyon held up a hand, indicating silently for him to wait, as he caught Loke’s gaze again. Gray was saying something, and the sad look in Loke’s eyes spoke volumes.

“Loke?” questioned Lucy.

“Master Makarov,” Loke began quietly, “He’s pleading that you don’t call him that. ‘Dear boy.’ He doesn’t like it.”

“You mean to say that I caused this episode?” Makarov realized sadly.

“Not you,” Erza insisted, “It was all that villain’s doing.”

“...he says it was always worse when...,”Loke continued.

Natsu had moved his hand to Gray’s chest, rubbing soothing circles over his heart, encouraging him to continue breathing calmly. Gray looked forlornly towards where he knew Natsu to be, and mouthed the word “ _sorry_ ”.

“Gray? Listen to me,” Natsu said quietly, “you don’t need to apologize. Not for what just happened, and not for why it happened either. It’s over, now. You beat this. You hear me? You fought this off, and came back to us. You might not feel it now, but you’ve got a strength inside you that’s amazing. Right in here. That bastard who did this to you couldn’t defeat it. You understand me? It’s going to be okay.”

Natsu perceived the smallest nod, before he took his hand away. He stepped back, allowing the nurse to come around and finally check Gray over. He was so exhausted by this point that he made no reaction to the nurse’s ministrations.

Gray was asleep by the time the nurse was done. “Other than elevated stress levels, I can’t find any new injuries, and his existing ones haven’t suffered any setbacks in healing. I’ll report this to his doctor. If anything else happens, I’ll try to be around.”

With that, he left. Master Makarov, after some consideration, decided everyone could use some rest after such a harrowing day. “I want you all to return to our suite at the inn and get some rest. But someone will remain here at all times, so decide on a schedule. I’ll remain here for now. Someone may relieve me in a few hours.”

After a few moments of quiet well wishes towards Gray, with promises to return, everyone left, leaving Makarov with his thoughts. He could only stare at his child in sadness, and more than a little anger.

After a time, he pulled out a communications lacrima and dialed.

A click, and, “ _Yeah, Master?”_

“Have you found anything new yet?”

“ _Hmph. You ain’t gonna believe how screwed up this Arius guy is.”_

* * *

**_In case you missed it, it’s been about a month between the two parts._ **

**_I was absolutely looking at a DeWalt drill when I came up with that name._ **

_**Tell the truth. How many of you thought they were sneaking in to see Gray? There’s a difference between the Isolation Ward and the Special Isolation Ward. Special Isolation is for malcontents and criminals. Like I’d really have them placed within the same ward.** _

**_I absolutely love seeing normally strong people let down their shields to show their caring side. Everyone would have been unsettled by that first episode, and they’ll have to adapt to these changes in Gray’s behavior. Some things will be more subtle than others. Just hints here and there of what they can expect._ **

**_I teach a few blind and deaf kids in children's church and discipleship classes. The blind children are sisters, and their mom is blind as well. Such a sweet family. Seeing how they adapt to their world is a learning experience for me every time I see them. I’m teaching myself ASL for this sweet little girl who was adopted from (country name censured for reasons) when she was abandoned because of her disabilities. I love the flow and beauty of the motions. There’s just something to appreciate about the many different ways to communicate our thoughts._ **

**_I just felt like calling it Gesture Speak instead of sign language. It’s just something I thought up over a year ago. I figured phones are called communications lacrima, cars are just “magic vehicles”, so why not give sign language a Fairy Tail In-Universe name? Honestly, this whole “can’t talk, need alternatives” scenario was one of the main inspirations for this story._ **

**_Please don’t be offended if the scene with the nurses seemed unfair to their profession. I needed a way to make this scene work, and that’s how it came about. But nurses work really hard, and face all kinds of crap every day. Some can be jerks about it. The vast majority are very professional, and love their patients dearly. Appreciate your nurses!_ **

**_Next chapter: we’ll see what Gajeel’s team’s been up to the last few weeks. As well as the origin of why they Gesture Speak._ **


	10. Confessions

**_I’ve added an AN at the end to clarify the necromancer’s backstory, for those who don’t want to revisit previous chapters to put everything together._ **

**_Also, if you haven’t read “A Tale of Fairy Tail: Ice Trails”, there be very minor spoilers ahead._ **

* * *

- _Before_ -

The cavern was more like a decent sized crater now. Gajeel and Natsu had done a fantastic job of making it so. Unfortunately, the weather from the last couple of weeks had also done a number on the now-exposed former lair of the necromancer. There were artifacts and scrolls, vessels, potions, and all sorts of magical paraphernalia scattered throughout the wrecked lair. Gajeel and Panther Lily, along with a dispatch of Rune Knights, were combing through each item, gathering evidence for their case.

Their spy master ally, Nate DeWalt, had been instrumental in getting them permission to lead this case. Personal attachments be damned, they weren’t sitting this out. Besides, chances are, the old reprobate wouldn’t survive to trial anyway. Whatever happened to him in that battle left him pathetically feeble, and without any powers whatsoever. He now looked far older than his seventy plus years indicated. He had been transferred to a prison hospital a little further east. Probably for his own protection than anything else, with how Gray’s team took umbrage with his presence at the same hospital as Gray.

With Levy back in Magnolia helping with the problem of the seals, that left them to take up the slack. Honestly, Gajeel was glad for her sake that she was gone. Panther Lily had taken a team to the other chamber, where Gray had been tortured, to gather further evidence. That section was left untouched by the elements, so they should have little trouble finding anything of value.

Gajeel was picking over some artifacts, letting his mind wander. They’ve been interrogating Arius off and on since his capture. Now they were here, searching for the physical clues to go along with his testimony. He’s been rather forthright with his confessions. A man on his deathbed can be very talkative.

- _flashback-_

_Black Vox is an unassuming structure, a simple, if enormous, cube, kept aloft with magic. It’s a prison specifically designed to house mages._

_After passing through the security checks, Nate DeWalt ushered Gajeel and his team down a brightly lit corridor. Every space in this prison was well lit, making it difficult for anyone to seek cover in darkness. At the entrance to the medical ward, they were met by the Warden, Grog Fot. From there, Grog led them into the prison hospital, a completely self-contained facility, with everything required to fulfill any medical or even surgical need. No reason to allow even the slightest chance of escape during a transfer between Black Vox and an outside hospital. Finding the room they wanted, they didn’t bother knocking as Grog turned the lock, and they all entered._

_Arius was just as weak and pitiful as he’s been since the incident in the valley. He was sat upright on his raised bed, arms secured to the sides. He eyed them with as much contempt as he could muster, before Gajeel’s intimidating gaze cowed him._

_“We heard you were in a talkative mood,” Gajeel said._

_“Heh, heh, at this point, I am but an open book. Ask me what you will. I will answer truthfully.”_

_Levy was understandably suspicious. “Why so willing all of a sudden? You’ve been awfully defiant up until now.”_

_He leered at her, trying to get a reaction. No one was impressed. “Sigh. Such an impertinent one. Does your man not teach you how to show proper respect? No wonder this generation has fallen so low.”_

_“We understand. You hate women, youth, and human decency. How about we cut to the chase, and you tell us why we’re really here, Arius,” said Panther Lily._

_Hearing that name, the necromancer once again became subdued. He was resigned to his fate._

_“I am not Arius. I never was, but for such a brief time. That name belongs to a being of immense power and greatness. Arius, The Undying One. But this? Look at me. I’ve studied and practiced the arcane arts of life and death for decades. I know when the shadow of death is near. This pitiful shell will last barely a month. But if I am to meet this wretched fate from which I’d fled for so long, I will at least take a small satisfaction in making sure that bastard’s son discovers why he deserved to suffer at my hands.”_

_“Are you telling us we were summoned all this way, just to hear you try to justify maiming and torturing our friend to near death?!” yelled Levy, whom Gajeel was trying to hold back, wishing he could let her trounce the guy._

_“I had every right to exact justice from the man who wronged me. That bastard ruined me! Stripped me of my powers! My glory! My very name! If I couldn’t make him pay, then his son was a most acceptable substitute!”_

_Gajeel released Levy, allowing her to cool down while he approached. Standing by the bed, he looked over the old man, looking at him with cold fury. “Yeah, we figured it had something to do with Gray’s old man. So why don’t you just lay it all on the table for us.”_

_“Heh! Just tell the brat that he suffered the punishment meant for his father. It was HE who confronted me, completely out of no where, claiming his mission and duty to remove my kind of evil from the world. He hunted me down because I was a necromancer. The most powerful in this land, and thereby a threat to his master. “_

_“You're talking about Keyes!” Levy exclaimed._

_“Clever girl. I knew that crafty demon was afraid of my power. I was the master of my art, until Keyes sent his pet demon slayer after me.”_

_“But Silver Fullbuster was under Keyes’ control. If you were truly after justice, you would have gone after the etherious!” Said Panther Lily._

_“If the master allows his dog loose, and it bites you, you shoot the dog. Besides, Silver may have been no more than a tool, but I could tell how much he enjoyed my pain as he murdered my son! “_

_That caught them off guard._

_“I see you had no idea. So you see? It was by my right as a father wronged, to seek restitution in the form of a reciprocal toll. His son for mine.”_

_DeWalt spoke up for the first time. “So you confess to the assault, kidnapping, and brutal torture of Gray Fullbuster, under the motive of seeking revenge against his dead father. Will you sign a confession stating the fact?”_

_“I’ll even write it out myself. Make sure to read it to the little bastard. I hope he chokes on every word he hears, as it sinks into his brain that every broken bone, every burn, every scar -inside and out- are well deserved, and mars his body because his father was a cold-blooded murderer.” He grinned maliciously as he said these last words._

_Levy turned and left quickly, too angry to speak. Panther Lilly growled before he went after her. Gajeel’s gaze never left the necromancer’s. He’d had his share of experience interrogating criminals, and he’d gotten pretty good at reading people. This guy was being truthful, but there was just something to this confession that didn’t feel right. He turned and walked away as well. DeWalt remained to arrange for a formal confession, as Grog escorted them out._

_Gajeel caught up with Levy, words of apology and comfort on the tip of his tongue, when she turned to face him. “That guy’s full of crap. There is way more to this than he’s letting on.”_

_Gajeel smiled. “We’re on the same page. So what do you want to do?”_

_“I don’t know. He said something that struck a chord with me, though. More like, his wording was odd? He said something about a ‘reciprocal toll’. I get what he meant, but just the way he said it, it was a strange phrasing. What really bothers me is that I feel like I’ve heard that phrase before, as well.”_

_“Maybe if we return to his lair, we can find something to shed some light on this mystery,” suggested Panther Lily._

_“That’s not a bad idea.” said Gajeel._

_“Excuse me. Forgive my prying, but this Gray Fullbuster: is he an ice wizard?” asked Grog._

_“Yes, he is. He’s one of us, a Fairy Tail Wizard,” said Levy._

_“I see. So Gray-kun found what he was looking for. I’m glad. It grieves me to hear what happened to him. If you have a moment, I think I have something that belongs to him.” Surprised, they followed him passed the corridor leading out, and continued on to a storage lock up. Inside, Grog opened a sealed bin, and pulled out an envelope. Opening it, he let its contents fall into his hand. They all gasped._

_It was Gray’s necklace._

_“This necklace was found among the prisoner’s possessions. I remember seeing a similar one worn by a young boy I met almost twenty years ago. He saved my mentor’s life, and helped prevent a mass prison break on top of that. I could never forget that boy’s appearance._   
_To hear that the prisoner’s victim is named Gray, and that he’s an ice wizard, was too much of a coincidence for me. Seeing your reactions to this confirms it. This is Gray-kun’s necklace, isn’t it?”_

_Levy could only nod, reaching her hand out tentatively, not really expecting Grog to hand it over, so she was surprised when he did so without a fuss. She lifted her confused eyes towards Grog’s._

_“The itemization paperwork must have gotten lost. Oh well. It can be rewritten. I’m sure the clerk just made an honest mistake.”_

_Levy was speechless, but she did manage a big smile before surprising Grog with a hug. Gajeel and Panther Lily simply smiled as well. At least something good came out of this visit._

_-end flashback-_

After conferring with DeWalt, they decided to split their workload. Levy, who had been wanting to contribute to something that would actually help Gray, not just punish his tormentor, left for Magnolia, necklace in hand. She would help in whatever way she could to find a way to remove those seals. DeWalt had to leave them, as he was being called back to the magic counsel to consult on a new case. He did send an attachment of Rune Knights to help in the search. So here they were, turning over every shred of potential evidence they could find.

They’ve been at their respective tasks for over a week now, and may have found what they were looking for. A few Knights had found some sealed scrolls hidden under the floor of an antechamber. At first, they were going to put them aside for later perusal, but something drawn on one of the scrolls caught a sharp eyed knight’s attention. It was the same as the intricate magic circle drawn on the floor. These scrolls described Arius’ spell! Now, a small team of scholars and translators were going over those scrolls, searching for whatever the old geezer was hiding.

Gajeel looked up from what he was examining when he smelled Panther Lily approaching. He looked disturbed, and more than a little pissed. He held a small bowl, its contents covered by his large hand.

“What’s wrong?” Gajeel asked.

“We should discuss this in private.”

With a slight nod, they walked towards a dark alcove and hid in its shadows. In a whisper, they continued.

“What did you find? Anything unusual?”

“More like grotesque. I found a small bowl underneath the frame that Gray was strapped to. I looked inside and found...here, just look.” He uncovered the bowl, and Gajeel went from zero to outraged in seconds. Inside the bowl was the unmistakable stain of blood, along with what appeared to be shriveled parchment, marked with the equally shriveled stamp of their guild. Neither of them had ever felt so sympathetically defiled. Gajeel was glad it was Panther Lily who’d found it and not one of the Knights. This was something that needed to be kept in the family.

“What should we do with...it?” asked Lily.

“We burn it. Right now. We never saw it, and we never tell a soul. Not even Levy, and especially not Gray.”

“You don’t think he has a right to know about this?”

“What’s there to know?! He already knows his freaking guild mark was ripped from his body, skin and all. He doesn’t need another reminder of the Hell he went through here. We never. Say. A word,” he whisper-shouted.”

It didn’t take long for Panther Lily to agree. Chances were, Gray would assume it lost in the ruins, or be so preoccupied with everything else to even give it a second thought. There was no need to bring up such a traumatic memory so viscerally.

Agreement made, they found an old oil lantern, poured out the remaining fuel into the bowl, and set the contents on fire. They watched in vigil until the whole thing was ash, drifting away in the cold breeze.

- _several days later-_

“They should be arriving soon. Is this everything?”

“Yes, sir. Everything’s been transcribed into these notebooks.“

“Good. Prepare the original texts for shipment. We need to get these to the council as soon as possible. Also, be extra careful when packing the jars. I want those, along with the notebooks, shipped straight to Magnolia by special currier. Fairy Tail will take care of them.”

“Oy! Lily! We’re back, and we’ve got some new pieces to the puzzle!” yelled Gajeel, who had just returned with Levy, having met her at the train station.

“It’s good to have you back, Levy. We’ve found something. You guys were right. That necromancer was into something way deeper than just avenging a dead son. In fact, I’m beginning to wonder if he even had a son.”

“Oh, he did. Which is why what I found out makes this whole affair even more tragic and sick. Let’s go somewhere private. We can compare notes and finally put together a workable narrative of what really happened here.”

“And then,” said Gajeel, “we need to pay another visit to Black Vox. The old geezer needs to explain a few more things.”

Just then, Gajeel’s communications lacrima went off. Checking the caller ID, he answered, “Yeah, Master?”

“ _Have you found anything new yet?”_

“Hmph. You ain’t gonna believe how screwed up this Arius guy is.”

* * *

- _now_ -

“And then, Natsu completely melted the candles when he tried to light them, along with the frosting. It’s a good thing Asuka loved the ‘show,’ or he would have gotten quite the beating.” Erza had just finish regaling Gray with stories from Asuka’s recent birthday party. Lyon had come to be his voice, and had enjoyed the tale as well. He especially enjoyed seeing the small smile gracing his brother’s face. It’s been a rarity lately.

Master had left shortly after they’d arrived. Gray had been awake, contently listening to Ji-chan’s voice as he just talked about little things, catching him up on guild gossip and such. He’s always had such a soothing, paternal voice.

Gray’s fever was slightly elevated, caused by the drugs beginning to wane from his system. They wanted him to get some rest. They all knew it would only get worse from here, but Gray wanted to experience this sense of peace while he could before then. So they obliged him, keeping him distracted with funny stories and anecdotes from both of their respective guilds. Erza even tried to entertain him with a solo performance of a scene from a play she’d seen a few months back, displaying her theatrical talent. Except the scene itself wasn’t a solo, and she tried to take on the roles of each character. He was glad for the bandages obscuring most of his face just then, as it made it easier to hide the rolling of his eyes and the humor he tried to keep at bay. Lyon wasn’t so fortunate, and had to field questions from Erza about how he could find humor in what was supposed to be such a dramatic performance. Gray came to his rescue, simply explaining that his reaction was that of shear joy at such a moving presentation. Lyon was impressed by Gray’s ability to lie without even having to speak.

A knock at the door announced the arrival of a pair of nurses, both male, wheeling in a cart of dressings and salves, along with other instruments of healing. One of them was the same nurse from earlier, a young man named Coleman.

“We’re sorry to interrupt, but it’s time to change his dressings. We’re actually a little early. Dr. Crenshaw wanted this done while there were still some pain killers in his system,” he said.

That made them worried. “Will this be a painful process?” Erza asked.

Coleman kept a professional demeanor, but you could see the sympathetic discomfort in his posture. “Usually, we would have you leave during this procedure, but we were told to allow you to stay with him.”

They understood his unspoken warning loud and clear. Lyon rose from his chair, while Erza backed away to allow the nurses more room. Gray just tried to prepare himself, taking steadying breaths that barely effected the uptick in the frequency of beeps from his heart monitor.

After prepping everything on their cart, Coleman turned to Lyon. “You can assist us if you’re up to it. He’ll need help supporting his weight, and you can keep him company while we work.” It went unsaid that they were expecting Lyon to keep him still throughout the pain as well. He just nodded.

With some guidance, Lyon positioned himself on the side of the bed, one knee resting on the surface so his body was facing the headboard. Now ready to begin, the nurses gently raised Gray to an upright position, leaning him slightly on Lyons shoulder. He wrapped his arms loosely around Gray’s torso, staying out of the way as they slowing unwrapped the bandages from his upper back. Lyon and Erza both tried to prepare themselves for what they would see. They hid their reactions well, but they were still disappointed with the slow progress of his healing.

His back was scarred deeply around the edges of the burns, along with a few spotty areas of scabs throughout. There was still severe swelling and rawness all over, and they could see him stiffen in discomfort. He gritted his teeth and shakily brought his hands together, pointing his index fingers towards each other and harshly twisting his wrists in opposite directions. The gesture for “ _pain_.”

Lyon put his hand to the back of Gray’s head, pulling it to his shoulder, rubbing the back of his neck in a soothing manner. “I know. Just bear with it. It’ll be over soon.”

Gray started trembling when the nurses actually got to work, cleaning the open wounds and applying salves over the scars. Then they moved onto the wound on his chest, pulling out the packed bundle of gauze. His body tensed, and he grabbed onto Lyon’s shirt, burying his head into his brother’s neck, his chest heaving. Lyon realized with anguish that he was screaming. All he could do was grab onto those hands with one of his own and continue to keep his other hand grasping Gray’s sweat-soaked head, listening to those silent screams. It was the most haunting sound he’d ever heard: The lament of a man who couldn’t even give voice to his anguish.

Erza could only stand and watch the spectacle. Lyon couldn’t see from his angle, but Erza had full view of everything. This is the first time she’d seen the surgical scar over his heart. Just another reminder of how close they’d been to losing him. She wished more than anything to help, but knew she’d only make it worse if she touched him. Tears misted her eyes, first sad, then angered as she directed thoughts of inflicting such pain on the man who’d done this to her friend. She tried to hang onto that anger, as it was better than the sadness, but she let out a sob when Gray heaved a great cry, weakly struggling for escape from Lyon’s hold, when the nurses started applying new gauze into the wound. Lyon could take it no longer. With tears in his own eyes, he pleaded, “Let me cool the bandages!”

Everyone looked at him as if he’d gone mad with grief.

“Sir, you can’t apply ice to an open wound. That would cause more damage,” said Coleman.

“Not to him! He’s an ice mage, like me. Our bodies react differently to ice. It serves as a balm when we apply it to major wounds. It will help with the pain. Please!”

“But Lyon, what about the magic seals?” asked Erza, though with a bit of hope lingering in her voice.

“I won’t be using my magic directly on him, just the dressings. The seal shouldn’t interfere with that. Please, just let me try!”

“Well, I suppose you’d know more about your magic than anyone else. At least we’re in the right place if anything goes wrong.”

With Coleman’s assent, Lyon released Gray’s hands, which still held weakly to Lyon’s shirt, and placed it over the fresh gauze in his chest wound. A cooling energy flowed through them, lowering their temperature to around 34 degrees F. Not quite freezing, but soothing all the same. He did the same to the fresh bandages wrapped around his back. Gray immediately relaxed, shuddering as he took in air like he’d run a marathon. Lyon used his free hand to take one of Gray’s, which had dropped into his lap. His whispered reassurances into his ear, his own nerves calming as he listened to the steadying beeps on Gray’s heart monitor. Soon, Gray was leaning his whole weight onto Lyon, who tried to gently rouse him.

“I think he fainted, or maybe fell asleep?” he said, worriedly.

“That’s normal. This took a lot out of him. We’re gonna take advantage of that and finish the rest as quickly as possible.” Seeing no ill effects from the cooled bandages, Coleman held out another roll expectantly. Lyon quickly understood, freezing the rest of the dressings on the cart. They made quick work of dressing the rest of his wounds, including the obscene tally marks carved into his arm, and those burns over his eyes. After he had been lowered onto his side, to keep pressure off his back for a while, the other nurse made notes on Gray’s charts while Coleman talked to Lyon and Erza.

“If he wakes up, he’ll probably be very disoriented. The withdrawal gets worse from here on out. You might try that cooling trick on cloths to help with the fever. It’ll make him feel a little better. Let him rest as much as he can, and let me know if you need anything.”

“We will. Thank you,” Erza said gratefully.

As the nurses left, Erza finally approached the bed. Lyon had returned to his chair, leaning forward, head in his hands as he tried to stifle his sobs. Erza left him to his private moment, and sat herself on the edge of the bed. Gray’s back was to her, so she leaned against the headboard and rested her hand on his bare shoulder. At least while he slept, she couldn’t scare him. She rubbed small circles on that spot with her thumb, feeling how tense he was, even now. She’d have to see about treating him to a massage when his back was healed.

Feeling enough time had passed for Lyon to get his acted together, she chose to distract him by posing a question that had been running through her mind since she first saw them ‘talk.’

“Those movements you do with your hands, Gesture Speak, how did you and Gray come to learn that?” she asked quietly.

A little amused, and happy to talk about anything right now, he smiled sadly at the bittersweet memories, and began, “Heh! It’s stupid really. When we were kids, and Ur was raising us together, we didn’t exactly get along. We were constantly finding reasons to antagonize each other. It was just a stupid rivalry, really. One day, Ur got so fed up with the constant taunts we were throwing at each other, that she took us into the kitchen, sat us down, and threw a pile of books at us. They were all about Gesture Speak. She had planned to teach it to us when we were older, as gesturing is a great way to develop muscle memory, which would also help us master different molding techniques. But that day, she told us that if we were going to keep arguing all the time, we could at least do so quietly,” he grinned.

Erza laughed lightly, picturing the two as young boys sitting across from each other, gesturing obscenities back and forth while Ur wasn’t looking. That brought another memory to mind. “Do you mind? I’ve often seen Gray make this gesture towards Natsu, or even at an enemy mage. It’s usually when they’ve been having one of their many disagreements. I’ve always put it off as a random hand motion that people from his old village did. Does it actually mean anything?”

Lyon didn’t even try to hide his smirk, though stifled his laughter so as not to wake Gray. “Erza, do yourself a favor, and don’t do that in mixed company.”

“Is it that bad?”

“He was calling Natsu a flaming piece of-“

“I get it...I suppose I should keep that between us?”

“He probably gets a little joy having that secret weapon in his arsenal.”

“I’m sure. Do you gesture as well as him?”

“I’m embarrassed to say no. After Ur...left us, I got it into my head that I was going to surpass her no matter what. Part of that logic lead to me trying to master one-handed ice make. I saw no need to continue practicing Gesture Speak if I wasn’t even using both hands. I can understand it when I see it, but the hand motions require a lot of muscle memory that I let slip away over the years. I was surprised that Gray had held on to it. It’s no wonder he’s so much better at static ice make than I am.”

“Such a bold admission. Is this another secret between us?” she asked with a grin.

“I’d appreciate it. I have a question as well. Why haven’t you given back his necklace?”

Surprised, she looked down, seeing the chain still hanging from her own neck.

“I suppose with what happened earlier, I was too distracted. I’d also gotten so used to wearing it, I guess I forgot it was there. The time to return it just never showed itself.”

“So it has nothing to do with the fact that you’ve been keeping your distance this whole visit?” Lyon asked, giving her a calculating look.

Erza blushed a little, not willing to admit that was part of it, knowing it was a very big part.

“Don’t worry so much. He knows you won’t hurt him. He trusts you more than anyone. He can’t control how he reacts to certain people. It’s considerate of you, trying to be so accommodating, but if you keep avoiding him like that, you’ll only make him feel worse. Just don’t catch him by surprise. Okay?”

Smiling softly, she gently ran her fingers along the cross, and nodded. “Thank you, Lyon.”

He returned the smile, then sat back in his chair, trying to get comfortable.

Falling into a companionable silence, they each sat back and relaxed into the afternoon. It would be a good idea, they thought, to be rested for the coming long night.

* * *

- _meanwhile_

Warden Grog Fot met them in his office upon their return to Black Vox. A quick exchange of greetings later, and they went straight to business. But first..

“How is Gray-kun? Have you heard anything?” Grog asked.

“I talked to our friend, Lucy, on the way here. She told me he woke up earlier today, but had a few setbacks. A bunch of our friends are going to be taking turns staying with him, in case he needs help throughout the night.”

“I’m glad he’s made so many good friends. He was a special boy, that one. So, you wish to speak to Arius again. You say he has more to add to his confession? Is this truly necessary? He won’t last long enough to even stand trial.”

“It is. We ain’t gonna let him go down as some poor old man who went crazy over the grief of losing a son. And no way are we gonna let Gray’s dad take the fall. Gray’s the type of guy who’ll carry that kind of burden to his grave. Don’t worry. He doesn’t have to say anything. We know everything that went down. We just want him to know that we know. He ain’t getting the satisfaction of dying, thinking that he got one over on all of us,” said Gajeel.

“Very well. I’ll escort you myself. Please follow me.”

They all gathered outside of the room on the ward the necromancer was kept in. As soon as the lock disengaged, Gajeel barged in, wearing a satisfied smirk. He couldn’t wait to see the old bastard’s face when he heard their piece.

“You think you’re something else, don’tcha? Poor little victim, avenging your poor dead son. You’re hoping Gray’s gonna be forced to bear his dad’s cross forever. We got news for ya, pal. We know how much crap you’re hocking, and no one’s buying it anymore.”

“I haven’t the faintest idea what you are talking about.”

“Shut up and listen! It ain’t your turn to speak. We’ll let you know when you can try to bullshit your way out of this. Do you know what an archive mage is? Just nod yes or no...Yeah? Great. Cuz we got close ties to one from Blue Pegasus. And he dug up some interesting history for us. Levy?”

Levy stepped up and began, “He managed to find eyewitness accounts of your alleged, unwarranted assault at the hands of Silver Fullbuster. You weren’t attacked for no reason. Silver was rescuing victims of your horrendous experiments. The very witnesses who saw everything, and wrote down these testimonies. Not only were you trying to perfect your necromancy by using live human test subjects, but you’d already succeeded in making yourself more powerful. You turned you own son into a Living Relic!”

His eyes widened at the news that they had found him out.

“The powers you were looking for were curses. But it wasn’t enough to share curse powers within your body of magic. The magic and curses would always balance out. They would never be strong enough alone for your purposes. With a Living Relic, not only could you store only curse powers within a living vessel, there was also no need to fear a rebound if you cast something that your own body couldn’t handle. Your son bore the brunt of the punishment. That poor boy suffered terribly for your selfish whims. But there was no turning back for him. No way to reverse what you’d done. With him, you had almost unlimited power to seize control of armies of dead soldiers, just like you did in the valley. The witnesses reported that Silver was so angered by what you’d done to your own son, he flash froze every Shade you had. Just like Gray did, in fact. Then, instead of ending you, he turned his attention towards your son.”

“Because he’s a monster! A beast who would turn his powers against someone who couldn’t even fight back!”

“Did I say it was bullshit time? Shut your trap! It gets better. “ Gajeel admonished.

“The witnesses couldn’t hear everything, but they heard enough to know that Silver targeted your son so he could set him free. He gave that boy a mercy that his own father wouldn’t give. He would have finished you off as well, but after seeing how pathetic you became without your Relic, Silver decided that a continued existence was punishment enough,” she finished.

“So it turns out that you weren’t as big a threat as you made yourself out to be. Oh, you were dangerous to the local regions, but you weren’t even on Keyes’ radar. Silver wasn’t sent there to get rid of the competition. He took that mission all on his own. Guess he developed a hatred for all necromancers because of his many years of enslavement to one.” Panther Lily observed.

“You can give up the farce of victimhood now,” Gajeel continued, “We all know you didn’t give a crap about your son. You were just pissed that you got showed up by the tool of a rival, and lost your power boost because of it...Go ahead, it’s your turn now.”

“...such brilliant deduction. Why should I care? I’ll still leave this dismal world knowing I took my revenge against my aggressor. As small comfort as that is, it’s enough.”

“Is it?” Gajeel replied, “Cuz from where I was looking, you were pretty damned determined to get that power back. Is it enough to rot away on this bunk for the rest of your feeble life, when you were on the road to immortality? See, I looked up that name you kept calling yourself. Arius, the ‘undying one’. You only called yourself that when you thought you had a ‘Get outta Hell free’ card. You said so yourself. As a necromancer, you can tell when you’re going to die. And that terrifies you, doesn’t it? You’ve lived your whole life playing around with death, but never learned to accept it yourself. So you found out that Silver had a son, saw your chance, and ran with it.

“Yeah, we know all about the spell. We found your scrolls. They told us everything we needed to know: what the spell does, what it requires as payment, what it needs to channel it. That’s why you had Gray’s necklace. You needed a personal link to act as a beacon, so his powers would flow into you! You didn’t just go after him for revenge. You needed him to get your powers back, so you could hide from the grim reaper a little longer. So no. I don’t think that ‘small comfort’ is enough.”

“Heh, heh. So why should I care. I may die, but I’ll still go down in history as the man who bested the world’s only demon slayer. That’s a form of immortality In itself.”

The mean smirk was kinda weird to see on Levy’s face, but they all wore that smirk. They knew something that was severely satisfying, and the necromancer couldn’t fathom what that could be.

“You said something interesting the last time we visited. ‘Reciprocal Toll.’ I thought it was just a weird way of saying ‘an eye for an eye’ or something. But then I got to thinking. You’ve lived in Helleborus for years. I’ve been talking to the locals for weeks now, and I haven’t heard anyone say that phrase, even when the situation warranted it. I’m a student of languages. There’s more to them than just vocabularies and grammar. There’s also dialects and learned patterns. What if you chose that phrasing because you’re just so used to it? Something that you’ve said to yourself over and over, for years. Such as when you’re trying to rehearse the recital of a spell.

“Then we got a lucky break. Have you ever heard of Crux, the Southern Cross? It doesn’t matter. Just add that piece to the other dominoes that led to your downfall. He pointed out a very important detail that you seemed to have missed about your spell. The Reciprocal Toll.”

“What nonsense are you spewing? Silver Fullbuster killed my son. So I offered his son in exchange for getting my own back! It’s how that spell works!”

“It didn’t work though!” shouted Panther Lily. “Gray was supposed to be a sacrifice, but he’s still alive! And you were calling up zombies left and right, but never even stopped to consider that your Living Relic son never even showed up!”

“I didn’t need that useless bastard of mine! The spell deemed me alone as worthy to carry the power it bestowed upon me!”

“And where’s that power now? Gray’s still alive, your son is dirt and ashes, and you’re a freakin fossil! You screwed up royally, old man,” Gajeel said, smiling widely, as one who’s keeping the punchline of a joke to himself.

Levy was allowed the honor of finishing. “You screwed up in three major ways. First, the spell demanded that Gray reject his father. Some crap about locks and blood ties. But the one thing I know from all the years I’ve known him, is that he’s stubborn to a fault, and he is absolutely loyal to family. There’s no way in Hell he would ever reject his own father.

Secondly, you chose the wrong target. You were never trying to resurrect your son. You wanted the power alone. The spell knew that. So as payment, that’s what it sought. Instead of taking Gray in exchange for your son, it tried to trade one power for another. Here’s where your third screw up occurred: you sealed his demon slayer powers.”

Realization dawned, and the necromancer grew pale. His hands began to tremble, and his lips quivered.

“That’s right. The seal you used to keep Gray from accessing his curse powers, kept your spell locked out as well. It was trying to trade one curse power for another. It failed to make the trade, so it rebound. Sure, you got a short power up, your body acting as a temporary holding area for all that power that was building up. But then, Gray was able to release his own powers, through the seal that you’d just weakened. Your spell couldn’t steal his powers, but he was able to force them out, in a powerful wave that destroyed your whole army in one go. You tried to use those powers again, and found them gone. The spell took back everything it gave, and then some. It had to receive payment for services rendered, right? That’s why you’re dying right now. It sucked the very life out of you to pay for that short time of immortality you enjoyed. Was it worth it?”

Gajeel was liking this bold side of Levy. She definitely has a mean streak.

“So, should I draw you a chart? You, the great necromancer, the self-described ‘Lord of the Dead’ or whatever, were beaten by Gray’s very dead father. You chose to use a seal that directly caused your high and lofty spell to fail spectacularly; and you and your whole freakin army of the undead were totally smacked down by a half-dead ice mage with no access to his magic. You really stepped in it, didn’t you?”

The necromancer was near apoplectic. He couldn’t believe it. All these years of scheming and laboring for his goal, and he was defeated by the very vessel of his wrath. This can’t be. This can’t be!

“So, how does it feel to know your life and death will ultimately have no meaning. You’ll be forgotten, a footnote in the obscure history of necromancy, forever in the shadow of the man who ended you; while Gray will be remembered forever, for single-handedly taking down the threat that overtook the northern regions. Everyone up there talks about it, you know. They know they were in danger. They don’t fully understand from what. You’re just not that important. But they do know who saved them. We made sure to tell everyone we’ve seen who they owe their lives to. Word spreads fast in small communities. You’ve lost your chance of immortality, you withered, old, son of a bitch,” Levy hissed.

The necromancer was speechless. He couldn’t believe this was happening. And he was powerless to stop it. It was all truly over. All for nothing.

Pathetic.

Having had their say, the team filed out the door, Panther Lily pausing for one last parting shot. “You were always asking us about the source of our strength and confidence, while mocking our answer, of how we value our friends. If you feared death before, try facing it alone.”

He slammed the door shut behind him. The turning of the latch the only sound in the utter silence.

* * *

**_That scene with Lyon and Gray, when he was getting his dressings changed, was the very first scene I thought up when I conceived this story over a year ago. My thoughts were something like, ‘how harrowing would it be for Lyon to hear this silent agony, and all he could do was lament that Gray didn’t even have that cathartic release of a real scream?” It’s been sitting around my brain ever since._ **

**_Gotta be honest, when I actually started writing the first chapter, I hadn’t planned on so much detail or how much would go into the plot. I just wanted a decent sequence of events that culminated to this scene. The concept of sharing a friend’s suffering, even just by being there with them, is just such great drama. Fortunately, I decided to include all these extra plots and subplots. Heck, Arius’ character was never going to have such a drawn out backstory originally. It’s pretty fun having all these ideas flow. I could have just made up some offscreen action and flash back scenarios, and only write that hospital scene as a one shot, but then I thought, “dang, everything leading up to that point would be epic! And what about the aftermath?” So, a multi-chapter ‘Let’s Play the Quiet Game.‘_ **

**_Partially based on a true story, as I’ve been teaching my kids sign language, not for quite the same reason as Ur, but it’s nice to be able to tell them something from a distance, especially when there are lots of people between us. It’s rude to yell._ **

**_So there’s the full story of Arius’ ill conceived vengeance plot. Nothing like being at fault for your own downfall. I hope it all made sense to you, and that the hints I’ve dropped in previous chapters all come together cohesively._ **

**_EDIT: Arius’ Backstory. Because it’s involved and spread across several chapters, so here’s the cliff notes for you:_ **

**_Arius was a powerful necromancer in his day. Necromancy is very much an art that relies on curses, which is the opposite of magic powers, due to the source of what fuels them. If the origin of all magic is Love, then the origin of curses is Hate, and all the negative emotions that come with it. That’s canon._ **

**_A novice necromancer requires actual body parts, called relics, to control the dead. At some point, Arius turned his own son into what’s called a Living Relic, a talisman that allows him to channel curse powers through it instead of his own body, which can’t naturally handle curse powers without suffering consequences. This provided him an insane power boost, allowing him to do pretty much what he was able to do in the closing chapters of the first arc._ **

**_Several years ago, Silver, during one of his private excursions outside of Tartarus, discovered Arius and the existence of the Living Relic. Outraged at the fact that Arius would use his own son in this way, he used his curse powers to destroy his army, then killed the son to release him from such a cruel existence. Arius was left with a fraction of his old powers, and spent the next few years planning his revenge against Silver. He really just wanted to torture him to death, but he had the audacity to die on him before he could implement his plan._ **

**_Until he discovered that Silver had a son. He decided to not let all his preparations go to waste, so he was going to kidnap him and make him suffer his father’s fate. But then he discovered the spell._ **

**_The spell he tried to perform on Gray was one that would restore what was taken from the caster. He lost his powers, so he wanted them back. When he discovered that Gray existed, he learned that he could instead use him to power the spell._ **

**_The way the spell works is that you have to trade something of equal value for what was taken, and that trade must be made with the person who took the item in the first place. For example, if Joe steals Bob’s spell book, Bob can trade Joe’s spell book to get it back. Why not just take Joe’s spell book and keep it? Cuz maybe Bob likes his own book more. A simple analogy. The thing that matters is that the trade must be equivalent._ **

**_The problem with Arius’ situation was that the item he wanted back was his powers, and the person who stole it was already dead. If it was something tangible like a book, he could have just traded another one of Silver’s books for it. But powers are intangible. He couldn’t take powers from a dead guy. But he could make the spell work if he could provide a living kin of the debtor to pay the price instead. That shared blood would provide a link between Gray and his father._ **

**_The final requirement in Arius’ case was the need for Gray to renounce his father. That would have broken a spiritual link between them, which would have unlocked the hold that Silver’s existence had on the coveted powers. That’s the second motivation behind Gray’s torture. Sure, Arius took a lot of pleasure from hurting Gray, but using his own son to get his powers back would have been such a perfect way to get his revenge against Silver as well._ **

**_So why didn’t it work? First off, Gray never renounced his father. He’s way too loyal, way too stubborn, and by the end, way too pissed off to let the guy have his way. Secondly, Arius thought he was trading Gray himself for his lost son. He really did want to get his Living Relic back, so he wanted Gray to not just pay the price, but to be the actual price. And finally, the spell knew that Arius, in his heart, wanted his powers back, not his son. So that’s what it sought. He was after curse powers, so it tried to trade Gray’s powers for Arius’. The problem came when it tried to go against the seal that blocked his demon slayer powers. It kept the spell at bay as well, so Arius pretty much screwed himself over by using that seal._ **

_**All clear now? I hope so. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
** _

_**Next chapter: Pains of withdrawal**_


	11. Withdrawal

“Talking”

“ _Gray’s words being interpreted.”_

‘ _Thoughts_ ’

“ **Spells being chanted”**

“ _ **Demon talk”**_

* * *

Dr. Crenshaw wasn’t exaggerating when she said the withdrawal would get worse.

Gray’s second day awake was very trying. His fever had steadily risen since yesterday. Instead of going back to the inn to rest, Lyon had stayed throughout the night, with Lucy and Wendy as company. He passed the time keeping Gray’s dressings cool, able to perceive his discomfort as he slept. Wendy suggested cooling his blankets as well. He slept more peacefully thereafter.

Lucy felt the need to fill the silence, bringing up the subject of Gesture Speak, much like Erza had the evening before. She took it a little further, though.

“Do you think you could teach me a few gestures? I just thought it’d be nice to be able to understand him without bothering anyone to translate.”

“I’ll never be too bothered to act as his voice. But I can teach you a few things.”

They began with simple phrases and greetings, along with potentially useful gestures related to the current circumstances. As distressing as these words were, it’d be a good idea to know if Gray was trying to tell them he was scared or in pain. Wendy took to the lessons with gusto. Anything she could learn that would help her not feel useless again drew her attention these days. They passed the night like this, often interrupted by small gasps or strained movements from Gray. They took turns sitting by him, developing a pattern of whispering comforting words or applying cool cloths over his brow, the girls ever watchful not to touch him directly, all the while participating in the language lessons throughout. Nurses came in periodically, checking his vitals and marking his charts, but since his monitors were within normal ranges, they mostly left him with his friends. They were doing a good job caring for him on their own.

By the time dawn was just peaking over the horizon, Lucy convinced Lyon to call it quits and head to the inn for sleep. An hour later, Natsu showed up. He wasn’t supposed to come in until 8:00, but when he heard Lyon come into their suite, he’d decided he’d slept enough. The girls offered to teach him a few gestures, but he declined. He could read lips fairly well if he concentrated, it turned out.

“It’s a shame he can’t hold a pen well enough to write things down. That would make things a little easier, I think,” Lucy said.

“At least you can call Loke to help out. I wonder if I could read lips, too. I’ll have to give it a try next time he’s awake,” replied Wendy.

“How’s he been all night?” Natsu asked.

“Off and on, he’s been a little restless. He’s settled down for the last few hours, though,” said Lucy.

They spent the next while just having random bits of conversation. Makarov arrived at 8:00 on the dot, followed by Carla and an irritated Happy. He didn’t appreciate being left behind.

Carla was quick to collect Wendy for a meal, followed by sleep, while Lucy stayed, so she was still present when Gray finally woke up. They stood still, thinking not to disturb him in case he chose to sleep more.

He was disoriented, and obviously in pain, but he tried to hide his discomfort. It was quiet. He wasn’t alone, as he could sense a number of presences. He was reaching for the controls to raise his bed, when Natsu took it, raising him into an upright position. He looked a little miffed. At first he tried gesturing, which Lucy was able to interpret after a second of recollection.

Why did he look so mad? Answering his question of who was there, she said, “It’s Master, Natsu, Happy and me. Do you need anything?”

He frowned, about to gesture again, but now that he knew Natsu and Lucy were here, he settled with mouthing his words. If Natsu couldn’t understand, Lucy could call Loke easily enough. But first...

As he spoke, Natsu interpreted:

“ _Don’t be so quiet. It’s unsettling.”_

Noting their mistake, they all resolved to do better at announcing themselves for now on.

“We’re so sorry! That was really inconsiderate of us,” said Lucy.

He raised his hand to wave it off, then, “ _You learned Gesture Speak?”_

“Lyon taught me. He stayed most of the night, so we made use of all that time.”

“ _Should have sent him home earlier. He was here all day, too.”_

“I thought about it, but I think he felt better being here,” she said.

_“...How is he?”_

“Doing better than you are. Don’t worry about any of us. We’re all fine. Concentrate on yourself for now. Are you in any pain right now? Be honest,” Makarov said.

_“...I feel...a little on edge. And everything aches, but it’s been worse.”_

“Erza told me about last night. Are you really okay?”

“... _Like I said. It’s been worse...”_

“...fine. I heard from Gajeel last night. He’s been leading the investigation of the necromancer.” He noticed Gray stiffen at this. “He found out why he took you, and about his grudge against you and your father. If you want—“

“ _How’s the guild?”_

He gestured as he spoke, to make sure he had their attention.

They knew a delay tactic when they saw one, but they obliged his desire to change the subject for now.

“Everyone misses you. Mira calls everyday, asking about your well-being. Juvia would call every hour, day and night, if Mira would let her,” Makarov replied.

“ _So long as I don’t have to answer... Who’s feeding my fish while Happy’s here?”_

“I asked Asuka-chan to do it! Bisca and Alzack were really happy to help. They walk her there every morning!” said Happy.

They went on like this, going back and forth until Coleman came in an hour later with food. While he checked vitals, Gray had to put up with the indignation of having Natsu help him eat. It was just a thin broth with a bit of rice, as he hadn’t eaten solid food in over a month, and it would digest quickly before the withdrawal got bad enough to prevent him from keeping food down. But he couldn’t hold the cup steady enough, and Natsu grabbed it before he could spill any on himself.

With breakfast over, he settled down for a late morning of more chatter. He tried to follow along, but a headache started to develop, and his own contributions to the conversations, when they could keep his attention, became limited to small nods or head shakes and quirked eyebrows. It was a few hours of this when Gray did something that caused Natsu to pay closer attention.

Gray just nodded at another inane comment from Happy, not even knowing or caring what he was agreeing to, while absentmindedly pulling his blanket higher. Natsu thought that was odd.

“What are you doing?”

Gray paused, not understanding, then realized what he’d just done. He furrowed his brow, considering. That was weird.

“... _I’m cold..._ ” he said confusedly

Lucy worriedly approached and asked, “Um, may I touch you?”

He twitched just a little, but nodded.

She brought her hand up, just barely brushing her fingers against his hair, when he snatched her wrist in a firm hold. His other hand fisted into his sheets, and he held his breath for a few seconds, gritting his teeth, but relaxed a little, slowing releasing his breath as he loosened his grip. Before he could apologize, she whispered, “It’s okay. It’s just me.” She knew he already knew, but a little reassurance never hurt. He nodded, and she placed her hand against his brow, feeling sweat and the heat he was emitting.

“Your fever’s getting worse. Natsu, could you get a nurse and some ice?”

“Sure. Be right back.”

As Natsu left, followed closely by Happy, Lucy wrung out a cloth from the almost empty basin by his bed, before trying to wipe away the sweat.

Makarov grabbed the basin, murmuring that he’d refill the water before disappearing into the bathroom. She noticed Gray’s breathing was starting to strain, and her concern grew. She pulled her hands away, afraid he was reacting to her touch.

“What’s wrong? I’m sorry, should I stop?”

He gestured, “ _no_ ,” then a few more gestures. She didn’t recognize any of them.

“Gray, I...I don’t understand...”

“What’s going on?” Makarov asked, placing the basin down.

Gray’s frustration grew along with the pain, but he brought trembling hands together and hoped Lyon taught her this one.

“‘ _Pain_ ’. He’s in pain. Hold on a second, Gray.” She summoned Leo right away, who could tell at a glance what was needed.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” he said, not looking up as he heard Natsu return with Coleman.

“ _It hurts! Everything...I can feel everything! Like before...in the chamber...I want...need t...drif..t...pleas..let me...dr...”_ His body shuddered, and he grabbed at his chest as he laid his head back, gasping. “ _My chest...tight...can’t ...catch m..breath_.”

Checking Gray over as he ‘spoke’, Coleman made note of the rising temperature, blood pressure and heartbeat on the monitor. He lowered the bed halfway to a more reclined position, and replaced the nasal cannula with an oxygen mask, holding it in place with his hand. After a few minutes, Gray’s breathing normalized, so at least that was resolved.

Coleman strapped the mask in place and explained, “You’re entering the next stage of withdrawal. I won’t sugar coat it. It’ll get worse before it gets better. Keep this mask on, and stay reclined in this position. It’ll take pressure off your lungs.”

Gray didn’t respond, but the others nodded or spoke their own agreements.

“Is there nothing you can do for the pain?” Makarov asked, hoping for a different answer than he knew was coming.

“I’m afraid my hands are tied. If we were just better supplied...Where’s Mr. Vastia? His magic was very useful last night. It may help to take the edge off at least.”

“I’ll go get him. I’ll bring back Porlyusica as well,” Lucy said as she left.

Natsu remembered the cup of ice in his hands, and poured the half-melted contents into the almost full basin. He then took over the job of trying to cool Gray’s fever.

Leo quietly pointed out, “I can’t read his lips through the mask.”

“You were a great help regardless. Will you return to the Celestrial world now?” asked Makarov. He waited, but Leo seemed distracted.

‘ _What did he mean by_ -‘

“Loke?”

“I’m sorry...No. I’ll stick around for a while. At least until Lucy returns.”

“What’s wrong, Loke? Did he say something concerning?”

“I’m not sure. Has he ever said or gestured anything about ‘drifting’?”

Makarov was about to respond ‘no’ when Lyon appeared at the door, Lucy having met him not far from the hospital. He couldn’t have slept long, but he looked refreshed enough. Without any preamble, he pulled the sheets down to above Gray’s waist and laid his hands on his dressings, cooling them instantly. The relief was instant. Less tense now, Gray lolled his head towards Lyon’s direction and weakly gestured a “Thank you” before dropping his hand to his stomach. Lyon just took the wet cloth from Natsu’s hand and froze it, before placing it on Gray’s brow. What the others thought was trembling, Lyon recognized as shivers wracking his body. The fever must be causing that. “Are you cold?” he asked.

A short nod.

“I can get another blanket,” offered Happy, wanting to be useful.

“No, this fever’s caused by the withdrawal, correct?” asked Lyon.

“That’s right. That’s the reason I wanted you here. This fever’s gotta be controlled. It’s too dangerous for an Ice Mage to have such a high temperature.”

“Don’t I know it. Stand back.” Putting his hands on the bed, he channeled his magic throughout the sheets and blankets, even the pillows, gradually cooling them degree by degree. It wouldn’t do to lower the temperature too quickly, thereby sending him into shock.

Lucy returned with Porlyusica then, who moved to the other side of the bed to observe.

At first Gray shivered more, the coolness too much for his heated skin. But as his fever began to wane, the shivers did as well. Coleman was concerned at first when his temperature started reaching hypothermic levels, but Porlyusica assured him this was normal for powerful ice mages.

Finally, after nearly an hour since this crisis started, Gray was stabilized.

Lyon sat down, catching his breath. The cold would last a while, giving him time to recharge before he’d have to do that again. He’d do it all night if he had to.

“I see he’s entered the next stage. You can expect him to enter the final stage late in the night. Unfortunately, I have nothing that can help that won’t counteract with those inferior drugs of yours. I can give him some herbal teas that could help him relax, but that’s all,” said Porlyusica.

“Where is Dr. Crenshaw now?” wondered Makarov.

“She’s assisting in the Operating Theatre right now. She won’t be available for the next few hours,” said Coleman.

Just then, Gray lifted his hands, and if they were a little slower than usual, it was that much easier to tell what he was trying to say.

_“I don’t understand. My injuries healed some. I know the pain was worse in the chamber. Why can’t I take it now?”_

Porlyusica considered and explained, “For one, you’re not in danger right now, so your survival instincts aren’t pumping your body full of endorphins to negate some of that pain. Also, the withdrawal is most likely lowering your pain tolerance. How is it now? Is the cold helping?”

“ _Not as well as before, but yeah.”_

“I’m afraid it’s not going to last. With your body conditioned to withstand extreme cold, it’s only a matter of time before it adapts to this method of pain suppression. I’ll bring you some tea later this evening. It won’t put you to sleep, as it’s not a drug. But it will help you relax, so hopefully, you can get some rest in preparation for the hell you're going to experience tomorrow.”

“... _Appreciate the candor...I’m tired.”_

“Of course. We’ll let you rest for now. Lyon, you should try to rest as well. I know you haven’t slept much. I’m not asking you to leave, but if you want, I can have one of my brats bring you a mat or something,” said Makarov.

“The chair is fine. Thank you though.”

“Okay. Since you and, I assume Loke, will be here,” he paused, receiving a nod from Leo, “I’ll take everyone else to get some food, so you can both take advantage of the quiet. We’ll bring you back some as well.” He turned towards Gray. “We’ll be back soon, Gray.”

Receiving a weak wave, he ushered everyone outside and shut the door. Usually, Natsu at least would have put up a fuss, but even he could tell that Master had an ulterior motive for rushing them all out.

“What gives, gramps? Lyon’s dead on his feet. Let him go eat. I can stay with Gray,” said Natsu.

“Lyon can handle half an hour on vigil. I have another matter that needs discussion. Mr. Coleman? You and Dr. Crenshaw have implied several times that, had your hospital been properly supplied, we could have started Gray on a better drug regimen from the beginning. Is that accurate?”

“Yes, sir. The medicine we plan on starting him on would have been far more efficient than what he was on before,” he answered.

“Who’s running this hospital? It is completely irresponsible for a place of healing to be so poorly stocked like this!” said Porlyusica.

“It’s not the management’s fault. All the medical centers in Iris have been suffering shortages. It’s almost impossible to get full shipments through the trade routes into the city. They keep getting ambushed by a gang of bandits.”

Both Natsu and Lucy became more alert at that. There’s no way!

“Is your city’’s closest trading partner the town of Narcisium?” asked Lucy.

“It is.”

“The mission! Capturing bandits along the trade route between Iris and Narcisium. We were supposed to complete that mission, back when this whole thing started!” she exclaimed.

“Are you telling me,” Natsu simmered, “that Gray is suffering this stupid withdrawal crap all because some bandits are being assholes and stealing medicines from you guys?!”

“In a nutshell, that’s exactly what’s been happening. We only just recently got a shipment of some of the meds we need to start him on his new regimen,” replied Coleman.

Makarov had heard enough. “You three,” pointing at Natsu, Lucy, and Happy, “find Erza, and tell her to prepare for a job. All of you get some rest. You leave tonight. Tell Wendy and Carla that they will fill in for Erza’s next shift. She, Lyon and I will take care of Gray until you return.

“Yes, Master!” the three said as they left.

Porlyusica spoke up,” I’ll return as well. I need to gather herbs to prepare that tea. I also have some remedies I can prepare that will work alongside the new medicines. There’s little more I can do until then.” With no farewell, she departed.

After everyone left, Makarov made his way to a small cafe near the hospital. He promised Lyon some food, after all. Upon his return, he found Lyon fast asleep, sat in his chair, his head cushioned in his arms, which were resting on the bed. Nodding at Loke, Makarov and he shared a smile to see that Gray had placed his hand atop Lyon’s head, as if he was returning the favor of soothing his friend.

“Thank you for staying. As for your question earlier, I don’t know what he meant by ‘drifting,’ but we’ll look into it. I’ve sent Lucy and the others on a mission. I’m sure she’ll need you,” he whispered.

“I overheard. She can take care of herself, but of course I’ll answer her call. Don’t worry. We’ll take care of those bandits,” Leo whispered back, disappearing into the ether.

“Gray,” he whispered, “are you awake?”

No answer.

“You’ve slept way too often as of late. Hopefully soon, we can change that. Rest well, son.”

Makarov placed Lyon’s bundle of food at his feet and quietly pulled up another chair, enjoying his meal in the still, comforting silence.

* * *

- _Elsewhere_ -

Ehud is a shepherd. He’s been a shepherd since he was a child, helping his family tend their flocks alongside his many brothers and sisters. He loved it. There weren’t many jobs that allowed one to spend all hours outside, among the awe-inspiring sights and sounds of nature. He adored every single one of his sheep, though he only named a few of the more friendly and/or ornery ones. Pip was currently trying to woo a young ewe, leaping and prancing about to Ehud’s amusement. It was a simple, joy-filled life, and kept his family fed and comfortable. Soon, his eldest child would be ready to join him out here. He couldn’t wait to teach little Micah all the things his own father had taught him as a boy. Not just shepherding, but all the ways of the outdoors. It was a wonderful time to be alive.

Some of the sheep in the further reaches of the meadow seemed agitated. He called one of his working dogs, Kaila, to join him as he waded through the flock. The sheep must sense a predator nearby. It’s always best to take precaution and check out any potential threat. Drawing closer, Kaila started growling. There must be a wolf or coyote about. But Kaila was acting strange. Usually she’d focus more towards the source of the threat, pointing him in the right direction. But she kept averting her gaze all over the place. There couldn’t be a whole pack of wolves, could there?

He then noticed the agitation was spreading throughout the whole flock. What started as a few bleats here and there soon became a deafening chorus of baas, and the sheep were now truly frightened. They started leaping about or standing on their hind legs before dropping down, over and over. They were now crowding together, some of the smaller ones getting trampled underfoot. Rams were beating their heads together, or even smashing into the sides of less fortunate sheep, trying to run from the terror. The other dogs were howling and whimpering, and Kaila was foaming at the mouth at her aggressive barking.

A sudden coldness settled over the meadow, and a sense of wrongness pervaded. This sensation was beyond the feeling of being watched. Ehud felt like he was under glass, and a great, ominous being was watching him from all angles. He’s never felt so frightened. He raised his shepherd’s crook close to his chest, wishing for a more powerful weapon. He’d never needed one before. That strange sensation grew even more sinister, and Kaila finally had enough. She flattened herself to the ground, tail tucked low between her legs, and covered her head with her paws, letting out a painfully frightened whine. The sheep were mad with fear now, trampling each other in their haste to escape, but merely ran to and fro with no shepherd to guide them.

Ehud stood, mesmerized by the fear and heavy pressure that weighed him down. Whatever this was, he knew it came for him. His last thought, before he was finally consumed by the dark presence, was that he was glad that Micah was still too young to join him on the meadow.

...

...

...

“... _ **More...sorrow...”**_

* * *

_**Next chapter: Den of thieves** _


	12. Mission: Defeat the Den of Thieves

* * *

Porlyusica was frowning as she administered the tea. Gray’s fever was returning, the coolness of his blankets notwithstanding. He was obviously suffering, gasping short breaths while gripping his sheets tightly. Replacing the oxygen mask, she turned around and delivered the distressing news.

“He’s already entering the third phase, but he’s adapted to the cold as well. Your powers can’t help him now.”

Lyon tightened his fists. He knew to expect this, but still...

“I know this is small comfort,” said Dr. Crenshaw as she adjusted some of the sensors and IVs, “but by morning, he should be over the worse of it. We’ll be monitoring very closely until tomorrow afternoon.”

“Master, we will be departing now,” came Erza’s voice from the door. Team Natsu looked ready to kill, wearing or carrying their usual mission gear.

“What’s going on?” Lyon asked.

“They’re going on a small errand for me. They’ll be taking out the band of thieves that’s been stealing supplies from this hospital and others in the city. The ones who are responsible for Gray’s current suffering,” Makarov finished darkly.

Dr. Crenshaw was pleasantly surprised. “If you were to do that, the standard of care we could give our patients would increase exponentially. We would be eternally grateful.”

“Gratitude is nice. But we’re doing this for Gray,” said Natsu.

“This isn’t right...” came Porlyusica’s curious murmur.

Everyone directed their attention to her as she checked Gray over. He was awfully still, compared to before, his breathing slow, uneven. His vitals were also lower than normal, but not too worrying.

“That is strange. You said that tea wouldn’t knock him out,” said Dr. Crenshaw as she too examined him.

“It didn’t. It shouldn’t have even taken effect yet.”

“Maybe the pain made him lose consciousness?” guessed Lyon.

“The monitors don’t suggest that. He’s not so deeply under as he would be in an unconscious state.”

Makarov had a thought. Could this be what Loke was talking about?

Porlyusica continued to observe what she could, and determined that, though worrying for them, he didn’t seem to be bad off. In fact, he looked downright peaceful right now. May as well roll with it.

“He’s not in any danger that I can see. I wouldn’t worry. Go on with your mission already. You’re crowding us out,” she grumbled.

Drawing his kids’ attentions, Makarov gave his final orders. “Give them Hell, brats.”

As they turned to leave, they were interrupted.

“Wait!” said Lyon

They turned back, wordlessly asking about this delay.

“Could you use an Ice Mage?” he asked.

A grin spread on all their faces, including Master’s, who nodded approvingly.

“Our team isn’t the same without one. Welcome aboard,” said Erza.

“Alright! Let’s go kick some bandit butt!” exclaimed Natsu.

“Aye, sir!”

With that, the whole team departed.

* * *

- _Magnolia_ -

The guild was filled with the usual evening chatter, as its members enjoyed post-mission meals and drinks. Mira was tidying up behind the bar, sharing the latest gossip with Cana and Lissana. Elfman was seated with Laxus and his crew, minus Freed, who had been held up in the guild archives all day, every day, for the last couple of weeks.

“When do you think we can visit him?” Cana slurred into her mug.

“Master said it would be a few days. He also wants to keep the number of visitors low. We don’t want to over excite him,” Mira said as she put the last glass away.

“Why don’t we plan a party for when he gets back?” suggested Lisanna.

“Gray’s not gonna be in a partying mood. Not after all the crap that bastard did to him,” Cana seethed.

“It’s not a bad idea, but maybe some other time, after he’s recovered more,” said Mira.

“He ain’t gonna recover from something like this. That boy’s damaged way more than he was before,” she said, referring to when she first met the sour young boy with a huge chip on his shoulder.

“You’re being awfully pessimistic tonight, Cana,” observed Mira.

“Hmph. Haven’t had enough drink to lift my mood yet. Really haven’t felt like it.”

“Well, in any case, maybe we can have a small gathering instead. Not right away, but after a while, when he gets used to being home again,” said Mira.

“That’s a good idea. Gray doesn’t need one of our big guild celebrations any time soon,” agreed Lisanna.

“I guess. Any word about the seals?” Cana asked.

Shaking her head, Mira answered, “Elfman’s been keeping tabs with Evergreen, but so far, she hasn’t heard anything new. Freed’s been having a hard time narrowing down a cypher for those runes. Demons in ancient times were very guarded about their written languages. They were almost sacred, and forbidden to be read by non-demons.” She looked up when she heard the guild doors open, and smiled as she saw who had entered.

Turning in their seats, Cana and Lisanna were greeted by the sight of Gajeel and the diminutive Panther Lily. Gajeel was carrying an armload of notebooks and scrolls, while Lily carried what looked like an old urn.

“Welcome back! Where's Levy-chan?” greeted Mira.

“She had to stop by Fairy Hills to wash up and grab some more books. Freed in the archives? We brought these from the necromancer’s lair. Might have some clues in here to help with deciphering those runes,” replied Gajeel.

“We were just talking about that. He’s been in the archives since this morning. I’m so glad you’re all back. Levy’s been really missed.”

“Not much progress so far, then?”

“Afraid not. What’s that you’re holding, Lily?”

“It’s an urn, filled with things that’s better left unmentioned. Far as we could figure, the necromancer needed them to summon the flesh zombies. We didn’t want to leave it at the lair. Figured we could at the very least give them all a decent burial at Kardia Cathedral,” Panther Lily replied.

“Except for this,” Gajeel said, pulling a small pull-string bag from his pocket, “It was on the very top when I opened the urn to inspect the inside. Was about to close the lid when I caught a whiff of a familiar scent.” He opened the bag as he spoke, emptying it into the palm of his hand. It was an auburn lock of hair, tied with twine. “It smelled like Gray.”

“Well that definitely ain’t Gray’s hair. Whose do you think it is?” asked Cana.

“It reminded me of when we were facing off with Tartarus. Gray’s dad was there, and he smelled a lot like him as well.”

A look of horror fell upon the women.

“You don’t mean to say...” said a disturbed Lisanna.

“I’m saying, we never did find out who that woman in the torture chamber was. But Erza told me she had auburn hair.”

The reactions were mixed. Mira was fighting back tears, hands over her mouth in horror. Lisanna stared ahead, speechless. Cana was pissed.

The sound of a breaking mug drew everyone’s attention, as Cana stormed out of the guild, Lisanna close behind. Elfman looked up towards his sister, who waved him down. She’d tell him later. Laxus wasn’t having it. He walked up to the bar to get answers.

“Why the serious atmosphere? What’s going on?”

Gajeel just lifted the hair for Laxus to see.

“What the hell does that have to-“ he caught the scent, scowled, and said, “is this the woman who tortured Gray?” he said angrily.

“Yeah, but it didn’t pick up his scent from proximity. It’s the hair itself that smells like him,” said Gajeel.

Shocked, Laxus looked up and said, “What? But that means...son of a bitch!” he yelled.

If Cana’s outburst drew everyone’s attention, Laxus’ drew their silence.

“So much for keeping this on the down low,” Lily muttered.

Mira decided to move the conversation into the kitchen, waving Elfman over to tend the bar.

“Does the old man know?” asked Laxus.

“Seemed like something to bring up in person,” Gajeel replied.

“You going?”

“Nah. I just came to drop off Levy and that crap from the lair. I’ll be heading out to the Magic Council tomorrow to file reports, and give the very same information to several different frog men who can’t just take the time to read the damned files. Any volunteers?”

“Cana’s been wanting to visit. She can deliver the news to Master,” suggested Mira.

“Fine with me. I’m stuck here running the guild til gramps gets back, but I can track her down to let her know.”

“Shouldn’t anyone go with her?” asked Lily.

“What about Juvia?” asked Gajeel.

Everyone just kind of stared at him.

“Right. Stupid suggestion.”

“Cana can handle herself. I’ll be out for a bit. Gonna go find her now,” declares Laxus.

“Alright. We’re gonna drop this stuff off at the Archive and wait for Levy to get here. May as well leave this there, too,” lifting the drawstring bag, “Kinda weird walking around with it.”

With that, everyone parted ways.

* * *

The moon was waxing tonight, not quite risen to its peak in the sky yet, but it illuminated the landscape well enough for Team Natsu’s purposes. After researching past cases of stolen goods along the trade routes, Lucy was able to narrow down possible locations of the bandits’ base of operations. Most of the thievery took place within carriage distances of the forested area they currently found themselves in. Happy, who had previously proven rather adept at airborne surveillance, was sent off with Natsu, who had caught the sent of unwashed humans in the area, to try to pinpoint the camp. They were to report back as soon as anything was discovered.

“Something still tells me it was a bad idea to send Natsu,” said Lucy, “He’s been pretty vocal about what he was going to do when he found those bandits.”

“We had little choice in the matter. He’s the only one who can track them down, and flight is the best way to travel through these woods without being seen or heard,” reasoned Erza.

“I wouldn’t put it pass him to engage as soon as he sets eyes on them. Not that I’d blame him. I’d be more upset if he left nothing for us,” said Lyon.

“Are you sure you’re up for this fight? You were up with Gray all day and night yesterday, and you stayed with him today,” asked Lucy.

“Your master made sure I rested when I wasn’t cooling Gray’s fever...He seemed awfully amused when I woke up that first time.”

“Master Makarov is just that way. A proud parent taking joy in watching his children interact with their friends,” beamed Erza.

“Ha! He does have that air about him, doesn’t he? I admire that he’s taken so much time from his duties of running your guild to be here. He cares a lot about you all.”

“Doesn’t Obaabaa-sama show her affections towards her guild?” asked Lucy.

“She does, but Master has a weird habit of spinning you when she’s mad or happy for you. We can all do for a little less of her affection... Still, she does care for us. She gave me all the time I needed to come here to help. She may be a little crazy and senile at times, but she knows how much we care for our loved ones...To think I almost never had this.

“Gray’s the one who pointed me towards guild life, you know. When you all disappeared for those seven years, I thought I’d lost my chance to show my appreciation for this life I have. For a while, I thought that it just wasn’t fair. That after all I’d done to him, how I’d spent years disgracing our master, how I tried to resurrect the very demon that stole her away from us and murdered his parents, how I blamed him for Ur’s death; that I’d get to live this ideal life among my closest friends, and within a guild I love, while he had his life cut short. That Gray, who honored Ur’s memory by keeping to her teachings, mastering them to such a degree. For seven years, it felt like I had stolen the life meant for him.”

“You’re being too hard on yourself. You don’t owe anything to each other but your friendship and love. You’ve done nothing these past few weeks but show how much you care for him. Trust me. He already knows how grateful you are. And the best way to thank him is to continue to live your life to the fullest. He takes great joy in seeing his friends happy,” Erza grinned.

“Yes. I’ve seen that in him. You know, I noticed he liked to people watch the few times he’s been in Margret Town. I never thought anyone could be so entertained just from sitting on a park bench or on the roof of my guild, watching people stroll by. Maybe when he gets his sight back, I’ll take him somewhere to sight see. Somewhere far removed from the crowds, but crowded all the same”

The girls smiled at that. They especially liked his confidence that Gray would indeed get his sight back. But for now,

“I wonder what’s keeping Natsu and Happy?” asked Lucy.

KABOOOOM!

“You had to ask?!” yelled Erza.

“That is NOT my fault!” Lucy yelled back, “Timing like that is way too clichéd for an perfectionist author like myself!”

“It looks like Natsu located the camp. Shall we?” invited Lyon, already sprinting towards the sounds of battle.

Upon entering the scene, they found Natsu battling an earth mage, who was putting up pile after pile of stone and dirt, trying to keep Natsu at bay. He kept blowing them up, sending clouds of debris and broken rocks everywhere. Happy was flying about, chasing and beating anyone within reach with a sturdy stick. He was doing a decent job of it, too, if all the concussed men sporting lumps on their heads were any indication. Most of the bandits were taken out by the initial explosion, the epicenter of which Erza could see among the field of burning grass, shattered wagons, and blackened tents.

“I’ll take care of the fires. We don’t want them spreading throughout the whole forest,” said Lyon, already shooting ice towards the nearest blaze. Lucy spotted some men in the trees, aiming some sort of range weapons at Natsu. She summoned Sagittarius right away.

“Yes, moshi moshi!” he said.

“Sagittarius, I need you to take down those snipers!”

“Right away!”

While they were being taken care of, Erza requipped a sword, but didn’t join the fight right away. Instead, she observed the surroundings. There were tents set up in a disorganized fashion throughout the camp, as would be expected in such a place. People will pitch their tent wherever they can sleep comfortably. Who cares about aesthetics? But more permanently built structures, likely put up by the earth mage, were placed strategically in the center of camp. Chances are, those structures were where the thieves stored their ill-gotten haul. Seeing no signs of resistance there, she turned back to Natsu’s fight. Seeing a lull in his battle, she shouted out, “Natsu, you better have a good reason for starting this fight on your own!”

Dodging a barrage of stone that was just flung towards his head, he followed it up with a cluster of fire bombs to force the earth mage to hide. He answered back, “There wasn’t any time! This guy isn’t a bandit! He’s a bodyguard! He’s trying to protect the freakin buyer!”

Now that was promising. Looking around again, it made sense. That earth mage was obviously the best form of defense out here. With so much effort put towards providing a sturdy place to keep their treasures, why was that earth mage not defending the haul? Because instead of a bandit, he’s a hired hand? The haul isn’t his priority.

Scanning Natsu’s battlefield, she found her target in the form of a well dressed man, cowering behind a hastily made earthen barrier. Nearby was a fully loaded carriage, prepped for transport out of the forest. Natsu had made a good call, as had they waited, the buyer would have been long gone. Why settle for just the bandits, when they could capture the one who made their activities profitable? With her objective now clear, she made her way towards her target.

Meanwhile, Lyon had finished putting out the fires, and had even frosted over the surrounding trees to act as a barrier against further threat of burning. Lucy had summoned Leo, who was going to town on a group of thugs armed with...really? Nunchucks? Did they think this was a ninja movie lacrima?

The oddity of seeing grown men trying to intimidate a Celestrial Spirit and his master with some, admittedly, cool looking displays of their nunchaku skills wasn’t enough to distract Lyon from the two other men tryin to sneak up on them. Without giving them the courtesy of even a second glance, he sent off a pair of ice tigers to chase them around the camp. Why the hell were those idiots just standing there, twirling their nunchakus around their bodies?

Leo and Lucy were both starting to put down their defenses, bored of the wait. If the men weren’t going to attack, they would. With a quick shout of “Eyes!” Lucy quickly averted her gaze (causing Lyon to follow suit) as Leo brought both hands together, generating a brilliant light that shone brighter than the midday sun. A flash bomb! The men dropped their weapons to cover their eyes, defenseless against Leo’s powerful punches and Lucy’s star dress-enhanced Lucy Kicks. Lyon could tell there was a bit of anger being taken out on those poor guys.

With more than just a few bandits about, Lyon created a flock of ice eagles to herd them all closer to the center of camp. They weren’t about to let even one of these scumbags escape. This wasn’t just a small flock. There were thousands of them, flying high and low, perched in trees as silent sentinels, stalking the thieves on the ground, through the woods, in their tents. Everywhere they looked, they saw these frightening vestiges of ancient legends from the cold northern regions. The thieves didn’t know if they would just surround them to stop their escape, or swarm in to tear them apart. No one was taking a chance. They surrendered.

“Can you handle these guys? I’m gonna help Natsu,” he asked Lucy.

“No problem. I’ve got a spirit who’s really good at tying knots.”

Meanwhile, Erza had attempted to confront the buyer when she was stopped by a laughable earth obstruction that suddenly appeared before her. Laughable because she punched it to peaces without pause and stepped over the rubble with no notice of the dust settling in her hair. Natsu quickly had the earth mage’s full attention again. What kind of bodyguard couldn’t multitask? Natsu must feel really insulted having to fight this amateur.

Erza reached the buyer and hauled him to his feet, smashing him against the barricade. She had his full attention. “Explain your purpose for acquiring all these drugs! Is there a plague I haven’t heard about? Are you supplying a poorly funded clinic? Is your mother sick? You better have a very good reason for causing the suffering of so many, including one of my best friends, with your selfish thievery!”

“It...it’s not just the drugs! I buy everything they steal! It all goes through different channels, depending on supply and demand. It’s just business! I’m just the middle man!”

“It’s just business?! Patients are going without life-saving medicines for your profits! You are lower than the blood that’s about to be on the bottom of my boots, you selfish worm!”

Back with Natsu, he was getting frustrated. Sure, he promised not to seriously hurt or maim anyone, but that was putting an annoying limit on the things he could do against this guy. The jackass started throwing out huge pillars of stone, which Natsu wasted no time in blowing up. But the pillars were purposely made weaker at the bottom, so when Natsu blew them up, the top-heavy pillars came down as a shower of huge slabs from above. He couldn’t blow them up anymore. Now it was a game of hide and seek amongst these huge things. Too bad the earth mage couldn’t hide from his nose. As he stalked his prey, he also caught Lyon’s scent. Not that he really needed the help, but he’d take it anyway. If it ends the tedium faster.

“Natsu! Raise a hand if you can hear me,” Lyon whispered from his position in the tree lines.

‘ _I hear you loud and clear,’_ he thought as he raised his hand.

“I’ve got an idea, but I need you to try to lure the earth mage into the center of that labyrinth, and when I give the signal, light it up with the strongest flame you can make. Don’t worry about getting hit. I’ve got you covered. Raise a hand again if you understand.”

‘ _Bring it on, Other Ice Block,’_  
he thought, raising his hand again, closing it into an enflamed fist. He didn’t miss a beat as he started taunting his enemy. “Where do you think you’re gonna go, you bastard! I can track you, no matter where you hide. I will find you! You think you can escape? I’ll just follow you into open ground again. I can do this dance all night. Come out here and fight me!”

The earth mage was considering his options. The fire mage was right. He couldn’t face him on open ground. That’s been proven. Hiding won’t accomplish anything. But this was his domain. These earth pillars rigged to topple over were a brilliant tactic he’d come up with on the spot. If he could defeat him, he’d have a better chance of escaping. His client was on his own, now. He wasn’t getting paid enough for this.

Decision made, he dashed around the many pillars until he spotted the fire mage. He turned immediately towards him, a satisfied smirk on his face.

“About time, you slimy dirt clod! Gimme your best shot!”

The earth mage dropped down, channeling magic through the earth, forcing stones and earth to fly out of the ground, aiming to hit Natsu. Natsu dodged and ducked, leaping off the sides of pillars, flipping over a larger one that almost took out his legs. The ground was becoming littered with craters and loose stones, the once-smooth landscape pockmarked and uneven. At first, Natsu worried that the pillars would shake loose with all the impacts and stones being unearthed. But after leaping against the side of one of the taller pillars, his hand glanced off the surface, and he grinned.

‘ _Nice, Lyon.’_

“Natsu! Now!” came Lyon’s shout.

“Crimson Lotus: Exploding Flame Blade!”

Fire and heat engulfed the labyrinth, every pillar surrounded by the inferno. The earth mage had only enough time to put up a small stone barrier, ducking low, making himself as small as possible. This couldn’t go on forever, and when that flame bastard ran out of magic power (because surely this spell was costing a lot), he would skewer the kid on the longest, sharpest stone pike he could form, and barbecue him over his own flame.

The thought made him smile sadistically, but he was brought out of those thoughts by a loud, cacophonous sound of many things cracking and breaking at once. He heard the loudest sound he’d ever heard, thunderous, deafening. He covered his ears in vain, and couldn’t hear his own cry as he was suddenly pelted by stones. A few at first, then many, hundreds, thousands. From pebbles to small boulders, some even larger, they were raining down upon him, surrounding and burying him in his own weapons! How?! The pillars should have fallen as complete structures, dangerously large, but easy enough to dodge. They shouldn’t be falling apart like this!

Before long, the earth mage was buried up to his neck in earth and stone, arms trapped, and more than a few bones broken. He was done. There was no choice but to surrender.

He twisted his neck as far as he could, to be awed at the sight he found. Looming before him was an enormous ape, made entirely out of ice. It was crouched down, covered in stone debris. After the rain of earth ended, it stood to its hind legs, revealing the fire mage that had been protected by its massive body. He had no time to understand what he was seeing, because another mage appeared before him and knocked him out in one powerful strike.

“Hey! No fair! That was my knock out! I fought the guy!”

“My apologies, Natsu. I figured you’d managed to get a few shots in already. Besides, though it’s not my usual style, I really wanted to punch somebody in this fight,” Lyon replied.

“Heh, no problem. I get it. So, you froze the stones.”

Nodding, he added, “Causing them to expand and leaving them vulnerable to extreme heat. Like running an ice cold glass under hot water.”

“Where’d you pick up that trick?”

“I’ve had my fair share of spars against Jura-sama. Thought it perfect in this situation. Is he the last of them?”

“He is,” Erza said as she approached with the tied up buyer, “Every last one of the bandits, as well as their patron, has been rounded up.”

“Yep. Virgo’s got them all tied up in the middle of the camp. They won’t be escaping those knots, ever,” assured Lucy.

“What now? We’ll have to contact the Rune Knights to apprehend these guys.” said Lyon.

“Not an issue. I’ve already sent Happy to inform the authorities. He’ll meet us back at the inn later,” said Erza.

“Then we won’t have a long wait. That’s good.”

“We won’t wait at all. There’s a carriage ladened with very much needed medical supplies. It would only be right to make sure the hospital gets this shipment as soon as possible.”

“But what about procedure? We can’t just leave all these bandits here.”

“Lucy said those knots are impossible to untie. They aren’t going anywhere. We’ll take the buyer with us, though. I’m sure the higher brass at the local Knights’ branch will want to know all about his ‘different channels’ and ‘supply and demand.’”

“Are you people always so cavalier with the rules?”

“We’re Fairy Tail,” Erza said, as if that explained everything.

Lyon smiled. Good enough.

“What about the dirt clod?” asked Natsu, nodding towards the earth mage.

“He’s not going anywhere. I saw his movements. He’s an earth _maker_ mage. And not a very good one. His stance was mediocre, and his creations were barely novice level. Even if he could bring his hands together, he wouldn’t be able to get out of that pile,” answered Lyon.

“Excellent. Our carriage awaits! Let’s be off, then. I want to get to the hospital as soon as possible,” said Erza.

“Wait, carriage?” asked Natsu.

“Of course. I mentioned that before. We’re taking the carriage back.”

“No, thanks! Happy! Come on out, buddy! It’s time to go!” he shouted.

“Natsu, Happy isn’t here, remember? Erza sent him to get the Knights,” said Lucy.

“Oh no! I forgot! I’ll race you to the hospital! On your mark! Get set!-“

“Nonsense. We just took out a big theft and black market ring. Of course we will journey back together, in celebratory camaraderie. We shall make our journey shorter by recalling our greatest take downs!” Erza gushed.

“I thought the only thing you did was to threaten bodily harm to the guy in the suit?” asked Lyon.

“All the other fights were taken. I couldn’t let him escape just to satisfy my own justified bloodlust. Now then, we shall depart, and you shall all regale me with recollections of your mighty feats!”

As she dragged her quarry towards the carriage, Lyon leaned towards Lucy and whispered, “How can she improvise these monologues out of no where, but fail so badly at performing memorized skits?”

“Don’t let her hear you say that. We’ve learned to just grin and bear it.” she whispered back.

“I’m gonna be sick!” Natsu whimpered pathetically.

* * *

Wendy was alone when Gray came to, Makarov having stepped out to give Mira the nightly update.

His fever was fierce, and all she had was a cloth and a basin of ice water. His body may have adjusted to the point of not feeling comfort from it, but she could at least keep his brain from boiling in his skull. As she applied the ice cold cloth, she could tell he was trying to speak. She concentrated on his lips through the oxygen mask, figuring her eyes were almost as good and Natsu’s, but the fog within made it difficult to make out the subtle movements. What she was able to make out, if she was reading it correctly, was heartbreaking.

He was calling out to his mom.

At least, that’s how it looked to her. She wished she could take his hand or something, but was afraid to. Was he coherent enough to even notice? It was so hard to tell when she couldn’t see his eyes.

Suddenly, he lurched slightly upward, gasping in pain, and she could tell he was trying to cry out. She remembered what Erza said about that cry, how it was the saddest thing she’d ever heard. It didn’t make sense at the time, that such a lack of sound could be so sad, but now she understood.

Throwing caution to the wind, she grabbed one of his hands in both of hers, rubbing soothing circles in his palms and over his knuckles like she’d seen Lyon do. He was still struggling, as if trying to escape. A nightmare? No, he was at least semi-conscious. She was sure. Pain or nightmare induced illusion then?

“Gray-san. It’s me, Wendy. Can you hear me? It’s going to be okay. You’re strong. It... It’ll get better. Please believe me.”

He gripped her hands tighter, like he was trying to stay here, instead of falling back to where he was before? She didn’t know what to do in situations like this. She was so used to using her powers to heal instantly. Suffering like this had never been an issue. Once again, she was faced with an ever-looming sense of failure in regards to her friend. She knew it had nothing to do with her abilities, but she just couldn’t make the feelings leave.

His lips were moving again. Concentrating as hard as she could, she tried to make out what he was saying.

‘ _Mom...mama...no, not...not her... not her’_

Another gasped, and he curled in on himself into a loose fetal position, trying but failing to find relief from the burns at his back. She could smell tears as they leaked into the bandages around his eyes. It was then she finally noticed her own blurred vision, as tears streamed down her face. He then took his hands away from her, bringing them together to form the gesture of ‘ _pain_ ’ that Lyon had taught her and Lucy the night before.

He was crying out for help, and she couldn’t do anything! He gritted his teeth and grabbed at sheets beside his head, but she gripped his free hand again, trying to offer some kind of comfort. All she knew was that, even if she had reason to fear the only other person in the room, she’d still want her hand held if she was in pain or afraid, no matter who offered it. She only hoped he felt the same.

All this took place in a relatively short amount of time, though it seemed longer to her, and she was relieved when the nurses came in, followed by Makarov, who took her hand and led her away so the others could work. He held her hand the whole time as she watched the spectacle of Gray writhing in agony, while the nurses could do little more than monitor his vitals and hold him down, preventing him from reopening wounds and the like. The pressure on his arms and legs made his heart rate skyrocket, taking him back once again to that horrid chamber. He screamed into the mask so that it completely fogged over.

Erza was right. That was a haunting sound.

Suddenly, he just stopped. He collapsed like a stringless marionette, and he laid still as death. The nurses were frantic, checking him over, rereading the monitors. But his heart was steady, and his breathing was coming back to normal. That was strange. It was just as Porlyusica and Dr. Crenshaw said. His vitals were above those of a fully unconscious person’s, but he was definitely not awake either.

They straightened him out and tucked him back in, readjusting any lines that got snagged in his struggles. Makarov thanked them for their hard work, and they left. If they said anything, Wendy didn’t hear, so focused was she on her friend.

Focused on him, but also on the hand that still held her own.

She was also right.

Having her hand held was very much comforting.

* * *

_**The team really needed that release, I think.** _

_**This is going to be a recurring thing with Wendy, this sense of inadequacy from her inability to heal Gray. She’ll discover much about herself in her self-imposed mission to learn means, other than her magic, to be more helpful**_ **_to her friends._**

**_**Next Chapter: Gray's not the only one suffering through traumas.** _ **


	13. Our Own Traumas

* * *

Cana wasn’t drunk enough for this.

It’s been a long trip, and in a few moments, her train would be pulling into the still dark train station in Iris. For all her griping about wanting to come out here, she was starting to feel her stomach churn. She’d kept herself up to date on Gray’s condition, and her imagination hadn’t failed to fill in any details that may or may not have been left out. Still, she was nervous about her first chance to see him in over a month.

Gazing out the window, watching the first signs of the approaching civilization appear and disappear as the train passed by, her mind wandered to last night. Finding out that the psycho had used Gray’s own mother as his torturer had put her in such a rage. She couldn’t even imagine what kind of anguish that had brought him, on top of the physical torments. It took both Lisanna’s and Laxus’ intervention to keep her from doing something so stupid, she hadn’t even thought of it yet.

ooooo

- _last night-_

_“Cana, wait up,” called Lisanna. Cana had rushed out the guild doors, knocking over some random guild members whose powers were so below her radar, she hadn’t thought to learn their names yet. “Where are you going?”_

_“Away! I don’t know where. I just can’t be at the guild right now.”_

_“But why? Shouldn’t that be the first place to go when you’re upset? Come back. We can help.”_

_Cana rounded on her, quietly but fiercely saying, “And what would I talk about? ‘Hey, I just learned that my best friend suffered horrific tortures at the hands of his long dead mother. How should I sign the ‘Get Well’ card?’ His own mother, Lisanna! ‘Mom’ is the name of God in a little kid’s mind, and he lost his before losing most of his baby teeth. What kind of cruel, twisted son of a bitch would dare to desecrate that kind of bond?! Nobody deserves that kind of heartache!” she said, letting the tears flow, “When my mom died, I didn’t even know Gildarts existed. She was my whole world. All this shit happening now...I just...ARGH, DAMMIT! I haven’t even heard from him yet! I sent a message weeks ago, but he’s so deep in Alvarez right now, helping them get their stupid shit together!...”_

_“I understand. Nee-chan and Ni-chan were pretty much my parents when our own mom and dad died. I’d be devastated if any of them were used like that. But they’re here, and I know I can count on them to make me feel better when anything bad happens. But I also have so many friends at the guild, and they’re the same way. We don’t even have to be specific about why we’re sad. They’re there when we need them.”_

_“We weren’t there when he needed us!”_

_“How can you say that? Sure, I wish we could have found him sooner, but he’s safe now. He’s-“_

_“I failed him! I couldn’t find him! Nothing I did helped. We had to rely on rotten plants and sheer luck to narrow down a location. I was completely useless!” She was just letting the tears flow now. “He never should have gone through that!”_

_“You’re right,” interrupted Laxus, approaching at a leisurely pace, “The kid caught the worst of it, and had his mind f*cked as well. But you know as well as I do that no one would have been able to find him using magic. The bastard was a sick freak, but he was smart, too. From what the old man told me, it really was just luck that Gray’s still alive. Sometimes, you gotta just accept that your powers can’t do everything, so you gotta rely on whatever else will get the job done. Even stupid luck.”_

_“Yeah? And what would you do if some freak used your dead mother like that?”_

_His gaze darkened. “You’d never find out. And neither would anyone else,” he said ominously. They believed him. “Look, I’m not like the old man. I don’t hold hands and ‘talk it out.’ If you need to punch something, let off steam, I’ll go a few rounds with you; but you’re gonna get some sleep tonight, or you’re gonna miss your train.”_

_“What the hell are you talking about?” Cana asked._

_“I need you to go to Iris, and let Master know about Gray’s mom. He should hear about that in person, but tell him privately. And also, jobs are pretty slow right now. If you wanted to stick around, you wouldn’t be missing much here.”_

_After a moment of consideration, she smirked._

_“Wow, Laxus. You really know how to proposition a girl,” she teased, still a small quiver in her voice._

_“Yeah, yeah. I’ll let him know you’re coming. See ya when you get back.”_

_Turning towards Fairy Hills, she gave a flippant wave to Laxus and a “see ya” to Lisanna on her way out._

ooooo

Gathering her overnight bag, Cana headed straight for the hospital, knowing she’d see at least one of her friends there.

Finding Gray’s room wasn’t difficult. Apparently, it wasn’t hard for the staff on this ward to remember the particular characters that frequented that room. Inside, she found Master and Porlyusica, as well as Loke, who had stuck around under his own power after the rest of Team Natsu had delivered their successful report (as well as a rather impressive bounty of valuable medicines) before taking a well deserved rest at the inn. They raised their heads in greeting, a smile on Master’s and Loke’s faces, when she entered. But her attention was solely on Gray.

She expected him to look like crap, and she wasn’t wrong. The nursing staff had been by mere minutes ago to clean him up and change his dressings. Thankfully, he had remained unconscious for that round. But even with a recent sponge bath and fresh dressings, he still looked awful. She felt she deserved some credit when she kept the cursing in her head to a minimum, and finally greeted everyone.

“Loke, I’m jealous. You’re reestablishing the old gang without me?” she jested.

“I think we all know you’re the brains of our little troop. How have you been holding up?”

“I was seriously considering how to do a precision guided Fairy Glitter on one particular cell within Black Vox.”

“I admire your restraint. You chose a good time to visit. He’s over the worse of the withdrawal now. He’s still gotta put up with the pain of his injuries for another day, but compared to how he was, I think he can handle it. Porlyusica-san has some teas that’ll take the edge off, and they’ll start him on the good stuff soon.”

“Good to hear. Where’s everyone else?” she asked.

“They had a late night taking care of an errand for me. They’ll come by later. Laxus said you had some news for me,” said Makarov.

“I do. It’s kinda private, though,” she said, giving an apologetic glance to Loke.

“Of course. Let’s go down the hall. It’s usually vacant at this hour,” he replied, leading her out.

Taking her to the end of the hallway, he turned. “What was so secretive that it couldn’t be said over lacrima?”

Not wanting to mince words, she just blurted out, “The necromancer used Gray’s own mom to torture him!”

...

...

A dark aura started to rise from the guild Master.

“What?” he whispered, full of rage.

“Gajeel brought back the remains of people that the necromancer was using for his flesh zombies. One of those remains smelled just like Gray. Both Gajeel and Laxus confirmed that it could‘ve only come from his mom,” she replied sadly.

It took a while for him to calm down, but after the fourth nurse ran off in the opposite direction, he reeled himself back in and toned it down. To heck with the nurses. He didn’t want to risk the chance of his aura scaring Gray.

“I see. Who else knows?”

“Just Mira and Lisanna, and probably Elfman. We didn’t tell anyone else.”

“Good. Keep it that way. Don’t even tell his team. This is something that only he should bring up when the time comes. It’s not a memory I would have forced upon him.” Taking a steadying breath, he said, “If you’d like to stay with him, Porlyusica and I were about to leave. It’s been a long night for everyone. Loke has already volunteered to stay as well.”

“Nothing I’d like more,” she replied happily.

* * *

Gathering water for a family of six is no easy task, but Krislyn took pride in her daily responsibility. At 14 years old, she was old enough to go to the public wells on her own, and strong enough to carry the vessels that would hold the day’s water for her family. Though some of the tradesmen and merchants had indoor plumbing, most of the villagers here preferred to keep to the old ways of doing things. This included Krislyn. She’s yet to taste any water that was better than that drawn from the public wells, sourced from the abundant underground springs that ran throughout their village.

She made it a habit to come just a bit earlier than the other girls and older women. It saved her time from waiting, and she could be done with chores all the more earlier. Cresting the hill that looks down towards the wells, she was surprised to see Auntie down there at this time. Most everyone called her that. She was nice enough, and made the most delicious stews for the annual harvest festival from whatever game the hunters were able to bring her. She was a loner, for the most part. Just one of those older people who preferred the quiet of solitude. She usually gathered water in the evening, when the weather has cooled, and there’s less noisy people about.

For some reason, she was sat upright against the side of the well, facing away from where Krislyn was coming down the hill. Maybe she was taking the time to admire the sunrise, as she was facing east. The top of the hill would have been a better spot, in Krislyn’s opinion, but maybe climbing hills was too difficult in her old age. Well, sunrises are better shared, so she may as well keep her company. And if she needed help gathering water, Krislyn was a pretty strong young lady. She could lend a hand.

Reaching the bottom of the hill, she was taken aback by a foul odor in the breeze. It was strong and coppery, and there was a taint of rot as well. Looking around for a recent kill, she saw no signs of any animals having become prey nearby. Perhaps the tall grass concealed it. Just in case, she’d better be on guard. It wouldn’t do to be caught unawares by a predator out here. Most wild animals are rather too timid around here, and usually avoid humans, but better safe than sorry.

“Auntie, are you enjoying the sunrise? May I join you? I’m usually the only one out here at this time, so I don’t mind the company.”

No answer.

“Auntie, do you need help? I can get someone? Hello?”

Walking around to the other side of the well, Krislyn dropped her water vessels, shattering them, as she let out a stream of ear-piercing screams that alerted the whole village of the evil that occurred there the night before.

* * *

He awoke with a start, unable to see, unsure where he was. Panic started to set in when the pain hit him. He tried to scream, but no sound came out. ‘ _What the hell?!’_

He heard a distant voice say, “no, don’t touch him—“ but the rest was lost in the confusion. He had a lingering memory of being tied down, but he could move his hands just fine, except for the slight numbness and mysterious scars all over the palms. ‘ _What happened to me?’_ He was lying in a bed, the head raised at a forty-five degree angle, and he could feel wounds all over, wrapped in gauze, while he breathed through a nasal cannula. Was he injured in a fight? Captured? They’ve blindfolded him, whoever they were. He struggled to get up, but the pain made it impossible. The fear and panic were near overwhelming when a pair of warm hands touched him, one on his shoulder, the other on his face, gently turning his head towards that voice. What was it saying?

“Gray...okay. You’re not...re anymore...r safe. We’re here...not her. You’re safe now. Okay? We rescued you. You’re safe.”

He grabbed the hand on his face, not to remove it, but to prevent it from disappearing. With his other hand, he probed for the man’s arm, following it to his shoulder before finding his chest. He wore a tie, Gray found, but it hung loosely around his shoulders, and a button down shirt with the three top buttons undone. He found what he unknowingly sought for, a distant memory conveying a feeling of strength and security here. He rested his hand over the man’s heart, feeling each pulse through his overly rough fingers. The man brought his hand down on top of it, helping to support its placement. The rhythm of his breathing was soothing, and he calmed down.

Memories started returning, dark thoughts and twisted illusions of a long dead woman/not woman, not her, NOT HER, NOT HER! His breathing rate increased, but with each breath he took, the fog in his mind lifted, and things made sense again. He remembered. He thought himself a coward, wishing for the smallest moment that he would forget again.

He dropped his hands, grabbing onto the bedsheets in white-knuckled grips as he tried to get his breathing back to normal. The pain was a good distraction from the mental torment at the moment, so he let it flow through him like he’d done so many times before. Why was it so hard to do that this time?

“Are you back with us, now?”

Loke. It was Loke. What a relief it wasn’t one of the girls, or Natsu again. Stupid lizard would probably cry, too.

He nodded.

“Is he okay, now?” said an unexpected voice.

Well, still better than the other guys. He could forgive them for not announcing her presence, just this once.

With a sly grin, he shakily made both hands into OK shapes and tapped one on top of the other.

“You stupid jerk! I still can’t believe you gave me that stupid nickname!”

Loke was smiling now. He remembered years ago, when he’d first joined Fairy Tail, meeting Gray and Cana in their early teens. They had an inseparable, if slightly antagonistic, relationship. It wasn’t long before he noticed, not too often, that if Gray caught Cana’s attention, he’d do the usual wave as most would do, but tacked on that gesture before going on his way. Cana would roll her eyes good-naturely, and go back to drinking. It would be months later before he learned that Gray had given his friend a Gesture Speak nick name. It’s a way to name a friend without having to spell their actual name every time. He’d laughed so hard when he found out what that gesture meant.

Temperance.

”So, how ya doing, stranger. It’s been a while,” she asked, waiting for Loke to read his lips for her.

“ _You tell me. ‘Fraid I haven’t seen a mirror lately.”_

“Well... you look like you...had a really long couple of weeks,” she tapered off, unable to fake the cheer anymore.

“ _Yeah, well...at least my hair didn’t turn white... At least I don’t think it did. You’d tell me, right?”_

“Oh my God! Okay, you need to stop. That’s terrible! You’re not some freakin Shōnen protagonist!” she laughed.

He smiled back. This was nice. If only the pain he woke up with wasn’t steadily becoming more noticeable. But he could tell the withdrawal was lessening. There was still an edge to it, and his hands shook a little, but he no longer felt too cold. He just wished he wasn’t so tired all the time.

“ _Where is everyone?_ ”

“It’s a long story. They’ll tell you when they come in this afternoon. It’s about nine o’clock now, so until then, you’re stuck with us,” Loke grinned.

Somewhere, deep, deep down, Gray felt a twinge in his gut from that phrase. But why? He was grateful to have his friends there, right? Of course he was. The fatigue was just making him cranky. That’s all.

“Listen,” Loke began softly, “while the others are gone, Master wanted me to talk to you about something. You don’t have to answer, but I was wondering if you were aware that you’ve been...going away...in a sense. At first we thought you were passing out, but Porlyusica says you weren’t that far under. Do you know what I’m talking about?”

This was news to Cana, and she wondered if she should offer to leave so Gray would be more comfortable to talk, but he didn’t look reluctant. If anything, he was confused for a moment, searching through his memory for recollections of these incidents. He could nearly recall something, a quiet place, warm?...Away.

Just as Loke was about to apologize for bringing it up, Gray’s lips moved. Loke was paying especially close attention, waiting for a reply, and caught it.

“ _I drift away.”_

“Drift?” confirmed Loke.

He just nodded. They kept quiet, not wanting to startle him, or cause him to retreat. This was the first chance they’ve had to really get some idea of how he was actually handling things. After a short while, he continued.

“ _When it gets really bad...and before...when I couldn’t_...” His breathing started to hitch. He wanted them to know, but he didn’t. Because every time he drifted, it felt like he was retreating.

Cana wished she could do something, but she heeded Loke’s warning against touching him. Knowing what she knew, she had a very good understanding of why.

Loke knew he was about to lose him, so, “Shhh. It’s okay. We understand. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re not weak, okay? You’re not weak. It helps you. It’s okay...”

He just kept whispering words of comfort and encouragement, Gray nodding once or twice. Cana felt like she was letting him down, not being able to help.

Once again.

Useless.

A knock on the door announced the arrival of Dr. Crenshaw and Coleman.

“Good morning, everyone. I’m happy to see you’re awake, Gray. I know you’re probably very tired still, so we won’t be long. Coleman is just going to ask you a few questions and check you over. He’ll need to lay his hands on you a few times. Are you okay with that?”

A beat, then he nodded.

“Do you need me for this, doctor?” asked Loke.

“Not for this. Coleman will just ask simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ questions. You’re welcome to stay, of course.”

“Actually, I wanted to speak with you for a moment, if you’re free,” he replied, hinting towards the door.

“Of course.”

Indicating to Cana that she should keep Gray company, he led Dr. Crenshaw just out the door, keeping it open a crack, so he can still hear what’s going on. Just in case.

“Do you have any concerns, Mr. Loke.”

Smirking at the doctor’s stringent formality, he began, “When he woke up a few moments ago, he seemed like he forgot where he was, and what happened to him. I had to remind him. I don’t think that was the first time. He’s been like that once or twice before. Also, he told us something about those incidents, when he was unconscious but not. He says he ‘drifts away’ when things get bad. I suspect he did it that first night he was awake, when his dressings were being changed. Lyon said he fainted in the end. Is there anything we can do about that, or should do?”

She had started nodding shortly after he started, understanding right away what was going on.

“It’s a common occurrence with the kind of trauma he’s suffered. If you notice any other oddities, please let me or the nurses know. I’ll pull together some literature for you to go over later. Other than that, how does he seem? Any noticeable changes in his personality?”

“It’s hard to tell. He’s pretty limited in mobility and conversation, which are the first things I’d notice if there were changes. You already know about his aversion to touch, especially from women. He tenses, even with me. His attention wanders, I think.”

“All typical actions to be expected. I anticipate more behaviors to manifest, so try not to be alarmed when they do. It’s important to keep calm in those situations and be patient. Anything else?”

“No, doctor.”

“Very well. I have to get to my next patient. Coleman will be finishing up soon. Gray will be started on the new meds later this evening. That will bring about a marked improvement in his comfort and well being. He may still sleep a lot, but not as often as before. They may even give him a pleasant buzz in the beginning, not that I condone such things, but it’ll be a few days of adjustment before we get the right combinations. He just has to bear with the pain until then.”

“We’ll help him through it. Thank you, doctor.”

* * *

“Take a look at this weird job. ‘Hunt down man-eating wolf. Has killed several local villagers.’ This part’s weird. It leaves the live stock alone,” said Max as he was perusing the various jobs available.

“Whoa! Do you think it’s a werewolf?” asked an excited Romeo.

“Even if they were ordinary wolves, I wouldn’t let you take that job!” Called out Macao from across the room.

“Oh, c’mon, dad! It’s just a simple wolf extermination!”

“No man-eaters!”

“Fiiine...sigh.”

From the bar, the Straus siblings looked on with amusement. “Romeo’s certainly developed an adventurous spirit,” said Mira.

“Romeo’s a real man!”

“So Levy says Gajeel and Panther Lily found some promising leads towards releasing those seals,” said Lisanna.

“So they might be able to bring Gray home soon?” Mira hoped.

“It’s too early to tell. They might find something to help them translate the runes, but they’d still have to figure out how to remove it without doing more harm. But its one step closer to a solution, at least.”

“I hate being the pessimist here, but what happens if they can’t remove the seals?” asked Elfman

“There’s no way they’ll fail,” insisted Lisanna.

“But what if they can’t?”

“He’ll still be a Fairy Tail wizard. Nothing will ever change that,” said Mira, ending any further argument.

Overhearing that conversation, little Asuka Connell returned her attention back to her drawing pad, flipping over the page she had been working on to a fresh new sheet. Her mother, Bisca, asked indulgently if she was finished with her drawing of a pink pony already, not really expecting more than a “mmm hmm” in answer.

“Yes, mommy. Now I’m drawing my Gray-ni.”

Now she had her mother’s undivided attention.

“Gray-ni?”

“Yeah. If I draw him a picture, and send it to him, maybe he’ll know we miss him and come back home.”

Trying not to get choked up, Bisca looked to her husband, Alzack, for ideas on where to take this conversation. For the sake of little ears, they hadn’t talked about what really happened to one of her favorite big brothers, simply dodging the question or saying he was away for a while. It was hard to explain why he hadn’t been able to be there for her birthday party. Eventually, they’d have to break the news to her.

“That’s very sweet, baby girl. He’s gonna love it,” said her dad.

“Can we mail it to him?”

“Well, he’s not really in a place where it’s easy to receive mail, but I’m sure he’d really enjoy it if you’d show him when he got back,” Bisca tried to reason. In reality, they were too concerned that it would discourage him to receive letters and cards that he wouldn’t even be able to read.

“But if he doesn’t get it now, he might never come back, and then he won’t be in Fairy Tail anymore!” came their child’s logic.

“Look, baby girl. I don’t know when he’ll come home. But I promise that he’s doing his very best to come back as soon as possible. And all of his friends are helping him. Okay?” Alzack said.

“Okay,” she said disappointedly. “And then I can show him all my drawings, right?”

Again, Bisca tried to keep her daughter from seeing her distress as she nodded. “I’m sure he’d like that.”

As she had finished reprimanding herself for basically lying to her daughter, Mira came by with their breakfast order.

“Oh my, Asuka-chan. Is that you and big brother Gray?”

“Yeah! I’m gonna show it to him when he gets home!”

“That’s so sweet and thoughtful. But you know what? I bet he’d like them better if they were sent to him right away!”

“You mean you can get the mail to him?” she asked excitedly.

Looking at her parents, who had cautious yet relieved looks on their faces, Mira grinned and said, “I have my ways. Do you have anymore drawings we can send?”

“He can have my pony drawing. It’s pink, and he’s got a bunny friend, too!” she said as she tore out each picture to hand to Mirajane.

“I happen to know that he loves bunnies and ponies,” she said, accepting them with a smile, “Actually, if you let me borrow a few more pages, I can have everyone draw him a pretty picture!”

“Great idea! You can have all of it!”

“That’s very generous, Asuka-chan. Thank you. Enjoy your meal.”

As she turned and walked back to the bar, Alzack caught up with her, whispering his thanks.

“It’s my pleasure. Gray may not be able to see these beautiful drawings, but he’ll appreciate them all the same. It’ll raise his spirits to know we’re all thinking about him.

“You know, you don’t have to be afraid of how she’ll react. She’s a tough little girl. If you’d just tell her that he got hurt, of course she’ll worry. But she’ll have more time to prepare for when he finally comes home,” then a little quieter, “...Alzack, he’s not going to be the same. At least if you explain some things now, she won’t be too surprised when she sees him for the first time. Believe me, when my sister was her age, it was always better to not hide the truth from her. Kids that age, they can deal with scary things a lot better than we think they can.”

After one more smile, she went back towards the bar, stopping at one guild member after another on the way to pass out sheets of paper and relay Asuka’s “Great Idea.”

* * *

Noon came around, and along with it came Team Natsu. Lyon had come in an hour before, eager to get there after waking up so late. With Lyon around, Loke chose to head back home, after a quick and quiet briefing to let him know about the new situations. At the moment, he was doing his best to stave off embarrassment as Gray recalled the time Ur took them to ride reindeer for the first time. He was almost tempted to “misinterpret” a few gestures, but didn’t want to risk breaking Gray’s trust in being his voice, especially over such a childish reason.

As they entered, the Exceeds were both quick to join him on the bed, Happy more enthusiastically than Carla. Gray gave a quick smile before continuing his story.

“Do I really have to say that?”

Gray just grinned wider.

“*Sigh*. For the love of...’ _Lyon had chosen a particularly ornery reindeer, which refused to allow him to mount her, and wound up picking him up by the scruff of his jacket and dropping him, flat on his butt, among her litter of calves. Their trainer told us later on that the calves had a habit of trying to crawl on their mother. She thought Lyon was one of her naughty kids.’_ And here is where I stop. I refuse to translate the rest of that story. Talk about something else!”

After a good laugh from everyone, Gray contently petting Happy’s fur, Natsu piped in, “Man, I’ma get the rest of that story from you later!”

“No you won’t!” insisted Lyon.

Gray laughed, then winced, rubbing softly along his sternum. It was bad enough that those walking skin husks had broken his ribs, but having his chest cracked open during heart surgery was a bitch as well. It was still tender a month later, and would remain so for a while longer. He avoided his chest wound, just rubbing along the edges of the tape and gauze. He learned really quickly not to touch it directly. Waving away concerns, he laid his head back, then moved his other hand across his chest, reaching towards his upper arm. Or more specifically towards the burns there. He must have pulled at them too suddenly just now.

Natsu hadn’t really thought about it, but it’s gotta be really uncomfortable lying on his back right now, covered in burns all over like he was. He had no idea how that could possibly feel, never having experienced a burn in recent memory. These thoughts brought him back to several weeks ago, when he and the others had been allowed to see him in the burn unit for the first time.

* * *

- _then-_

_‘Critical Burn Unit’ was written in bold letters above the doors he’d just entered. It was so bright, and obscenely clean, in Natsu’s opinion, but if that helped Gray get better faster, he could put up with the strong smell of cleansers everywhere._

_Natsu had elected to allow the girls go first. Not so much out of chivalry, though there was that. He couldn’t really put a finger on it, but he couldn’t shake a feeling of unease that’s been gnawing at him since they’d arrived here earlier today. He wasn’t afraid. What was there to be afraid of? It’s not like he caused him to suffer second and near-third degree burns over half his back and arms. And it’s not like they‘d never considered something like this might happen some day, what with their constantly throwing some of their best attacks at each other every chance they got. They just never considered how bad it could have gotten._

_Maybe they should have._

_It took a few minutes to don the thin gown over his clothes and put on the proper protective gear, after an extremely thorough hand-washing. He didn’t see the point in that, as he wasn’t allowed to touch him anyway, but whatever._

_Finally being allowed in after yet another rundown of the rules, he was taken aback by what he saw._

_There Gray laid, face down with his hands resting beside his head. There were still discolored blotches up and down his arms, legs, and, he assumed, all over, remnants of all the bruising caused by his blood vessels practically blowing up everywhere. Of the many incision scars traversing his skin, only those sick tally marks were covered. His head was turned towards Natsu, but he couldn’t see his face with all the bandages covering the upper half, while the breathing apparatus blocked most of the lower half._

_He was completely naked, covered only by a sheet that exposed the burns on his back. His undressed burns. They were too severe still to cover them with gauze, and it was better to let the wounds breathe in the sterile environment. They were horrible, sickly looking, and painful even to see. He couldn’t imagine how they must have felt. And this was after a few weeks of healing. It really was a mercy to keep him sedated all this time._

_Natsu had never felt so sickened by what his magic could possibly do._

_Taking a seat in the chair provided, he could only stare at his raw and ravaged back, taking little solace in its steady rise and fall. His upper arms weren’t any better, and both of his hands were still painfully swollen and blistered. Natsu felt ready to throw up any moment. This was way worse than any bout of motion sickness he’d ever had. But he only had a few more minutes, so he just told himself to man up and wait. Gray’s probably gonna have to live with these scars for the rest of his life, according to what that Crenshaw lady said about magic timing or whatever. The least he could do is sit here for five minutes, even if Gray was unaware. He just sat and watched, listening to the droning of the breathing machine, and the reassuring sound of his heart beats that he was able to pick up with his dragon ears. That was way more preferable than that annoying beeping sound the heart monitor made, though he’d never want it to stop. Ever._

_Before he was ready, but at the same time, feeling like this vigil had lasted forever, it was time to leave. He was mad at himself because of how eager he was to get out of there, tearing the gown off violently on the way down the hall. He managed to make it to the waiting area where the girls were, before heaving his dinner into a nearby trash bin. Erza and Lucy had only sympathetic looks, and he was glad that Happy, prohibited from entry into the burn unit, had just stayed home. He’d never be able to sugar coat what he saw in there if Happy had seen his reaction just now._

* * *

- _now_ -

Shaking the morbid thoughts from his head, Natsu pasted another fake smile on his face and tried to follow the conversation. It’s a good thing Gray couldn’t see his face right now, cuz he’d call “bull” in a second.

Lucy was the first to notice Gray’s waning attention. He was obviously tired, but was trying valiantly to stay awake for their sakes.

“Gray, you don’t have to try to stay awake for us. If you want to sleep, we won’t mind.”

He jerked himself to full awareness again, gesturing, “ _Not just for you...Sorry... I want to enjoy...before new meds knock me out again...Hate sleeping all the time...I miss this...and...I don’t want to forget again_.”

They all knew what he meant, about wanting to spend more time with them, and about his memory issues. But a body needed rest to heal.

Erza suggested that they could entertain him with another play reenactment, except with all of them taking parts this time. Lucy brought her back down to earth with her own suggestion: She could read to him from her manuscript. That perked him up. And surprised him. She was usually really stingy when it came to others reading her work. After a few minutes of shuffling pages (as well as a few false starts when Gray informed her, several times, that “ _I read that part already_ ”) she grumbled under her breath about nosy, trespassing perverts, and started reading. If he nodded off a few times, it wasn’t a big deal to wait for him to wake up again, and to pick up where she left off. It was a pleasant way to spend the afternoon.

When evening came, Master and Porlyusica were also there as Dr. Crenshaw personally administered the new medicines. She wasn’t kidding about the slight buzz, and Gray sighed in relief as a warm numbness pervaded throughout his body. He hadn’t really comprehended just how much pain he was truly in until most of it was finally gone. In order to prevent another incident of addiction and withdrawal, Dr. Crenshaw had decided to use only a large enough dose to bring his pain to more tolerable levels. Gray whole-heartedly agreed. Even with the dull aches, he was beyond satisfied.

Quietly, not wanting to disturb him, Dr. Crenshaw pulled everyone aside to brief them. “He’ll rest more comfortably now. In fact, he’s probably half asleep already. It won’t be like before, when he slept for over a month. Tomorrow, if everything goes well, he’ll be awake and alert. Maybe a little woozy, until he gets used to the new meds. As he heals, and regains more range of motion, we’ll slowly introduce different treatment options. He’ll start receiving skin grafts as well, now that we have the proper medicines needed for such surgeries. Physical therapy will follow soon after.”

“By treatment options, you mean those pertaining to his mental health?” assumed Porlyusica.

“Indeed. The sooner we can get him started on that, the better. You’ve witnessed some of his episodes, even if you didn’t realize at the time. I’m afraid even with therapy, he’s going to get worse before he gets better.”

“But he was so happy today,” Lucy said dejectively.

“He’ll experience highs and lows in his recovery. He didn’t just suffer physical injuries. It’s very common for there to be a delayed reaction to severe mental trauma. But we can talk more on that later. Allow him some peace for now. I can talk more at length with your healer and Guild Master before my rounds start tomorrow morning.”

“Of course. Thank you so much, doctor. We can’t possibly show our appreciation for all you’ve done,” said Makarov.

“You already have. It’s your guild’s efforts that have made it possible for our hospital to be fully stocked again. Good evening.”

After her departure, the rest of them decided to return to the inn, leaving Wendy and Porlyusica to keep vigil for the night.

The next few weeks would be pretty active for everyone.

* * *

_**I felt for the longest time that this was going to be more than just a Recovery story for Gray alone. His friends suffered their own traumas, and they need to heal from them as well. We’ve covered Wendy, Cana and Natsu so far. How will the others react to everything that’s happened? Natsu’s scene was my favorite of the three. It’s something I’ve thought of off and on, how he’d react if he ever went too far and burned Gray really badly. Sure, it wasn’t his fault here, but he still feels... something here. He’s just not sure what yet.**_

_****Next chapter: Gray’s on his way home!** ** _


	14. Journey Home

_**Look out! Another time skip!** _

_**WARNING: Small scene concerning an incident of self harm. Also, talk of a gory death.** _

* * *

- _one month later-_

_Dear Mom,_

_I’m going back to Iris tomorrow. I know. A lot of my recent letters have started like this. But this time is different._

_We’re finally bringing Gray home!_

_I never thought he’d be able to come home so early! But as soon as the skin grafts were done, he was determined to do his part to get better, and insisted on starting physical therapy right away. He got pretty frustrated with the slow progress they were allowing, but they had his heart to consider, plus the fact that he hadn’t walked in over a month. So a few steps around his room were all they allowed in the beginning. Strength training came next. His range of motion is extremely limited, though, because he has to be careful not to stretch the grafts. I wasn’t able to help, for reasons I already explained, but the boys were good task masters. I’m a little concerned with some of the things Leo’s reported, though. Gray’s had some bad moments during therapy, but who wouldn’t? They’ve learned to just let him cool down when he gets really upset. But thanks to a lot of effort, Dr. Crenshaw says he can finish healing at home!_

_I haven’t seen the results of his surgeries, but neither has anyone else but Lyon. Gray’s reluctant to let any of us see. I can’t blame him. His chest wound has improved a little. The skin grafts are working, but there are still so many layers that need to grow back. Because of its depth, there’s a padding stitched into that wound to keep the graft in place. He’ll have no sensation on that spot for the rest of his life. All the nerves are gone. As for his eyes, well, I’m not giving up hope yet, but the eye doctor isn’t very optimistic. Porlyusica’s been having discussions with Master about transplants._

_But you don’t want to hear about the sad stuff. I spent the whole day getting his house ready. It needed to be aired out, and his pantry and refrigerator were empty, so Erza and I did a little shopping. We even made a bunch of meals for him that he can just reheat later on. I want his first days back to be as stress free as possible._

_I need to go now, mom. Erza’s meeting me at the station in an hour, so we can catch the overnight train. I’m looking forward to this being our last trip to Iris. Thanks for watching over him this whole time._

_I love you._

* * *

Natsu and Happy were at the Iris Station when the train arrived at four that morning. After the usual pleasantries and Happy’s snarky comments about Lucy gaining weight, Natsu grabbed her bag and started for the inn.

“What time are they discharging him?” Erza wondered.

“Not till the afternoon. They gotta do all this ‘doctor stuff’ first. We gotta sit in on those meetings, too. Pain in the ass, if you ask me.”

“I’m sure it’s important stuff to know. We want to make sure nothing bad happens,” said Lucy.

Natsu didn’t voice his opinion that no matter what they might plan for, something bad always happens. But there would be time to think about that later. They needed to get a little sleep before the briefings in a few hours.

* * *

“What have we got?” asked Nate DeWalt, spy master and special investigator for the Magic Council.

At 2 o’clock that morning, he was called out to the scene, being the highest ranking investigator in that province. He had no inclination towards complaining over the late hour, as they wouldn’t have called him out there if it wasn’t serious.

Lacrimas were set up in a perimeter around the crime scene, simultaneously providing light and protective wards to keep intruders out, keeping the evidence from being compromised. Rune Knights were going about, talking to witnesses and gathering clues. They were located in a fenced-in athletic field, which lay adjacent to a small, privately run military prep school.

The story so far was that one of the security guards hadn’t returned to the guard house after performing a routine walk-through of the grounds. Figuring he must have caught a cadet sneaking out, the OIC (officer in charge) sent another guard out to assist, as some of these kids could be a handful. They were a little behind in the latest technologies, so hadn’t implemented the use of portable communications lacrimas yet. It took about twenty minutes to retrace the route the first guard would have taken, but the sounds of distant screams alerted the OIC, Lieutenant Moss, that the guard had been found. Emergency protocols were immediately implemented, and the Commandant and Rune Knights had been contacted. The school was under complete lockdown, and the cadre were ordered to keep all the cadets from leaving the dorms until further notice.

“The victim’s name is Sergeant Oliver Blair, twenty-seven years old, no known enemies or grudges. He was found less than three hours ago by a coworker. No signs of struggle, and no tracks other than the victim’s and the one who found him, Corporal Jay Boswell,” said the knight, nodding towards said corporal outside the perimeter. He stood with Lt. Moss, still shaken and grieving. An older, authoritative woman stood by them, wearing civilian clothes that were hastily thrown on after receiving a late night call. She was the school’s commandant, Colonel Laura Pullen.

“Any guesses as to a cause of death?” asked DeWalt.

“We were hoping you could hazard a guess, because we’re stumped.”

Kneeling down to pull up the sheet that was draped over Sgt. Blair, DeWalt got his first look at the victim, and understood the knight’s confusion. The body was mostly intact, except for a large, ghastly hole in his abdomen. At first glance, it looked like an animal attacked him, ripping out his guts to feed on, but there were no scratches or other wounds on his arms, legs, or face. “Did the corporal say if the gate to the fence was closed when he found Sgt. Blair?” he asked.

“It was. The gate is spring loaded, so it latches itself upon entry.”

Eyeing the eight foot tall fence for gaps, finding none, DeWalt then asked, “And there was no animal inside with the victim?”

“No, sir.”

That was very strange. It’s not impossible that whatever did this could have climbed the fence, but he saw no traces of blood anywhere on the metal structure. With the state of the victim, the creature would have been drenched in it. Compounding the mystery was the fact that there were no animals native to this region that could or would do this kind of damage. DeWalt recalled reading some reports of strange animal attacks within the last couple of months, but they occurred at a relative distance from here. He couldn’t deny a common trait they all shared, however: each victim had been left with violent abdominal wounds.

Though it may be a long shot, he decided he would revisit those cases. If there were no connections, it wouldn’t waste too much time. But if there was something...

“Arrange for transport to the local Knights branch. I want a full autopsy conducted. And keep these wards up until further notice.”

Exiting the perimeter, DeWalt approached the commandant and her two officers.

“Colonel,” he said, “I’m going to need you to prohibit access to this whole field and its outer boundaries within a hundred yards to all staff and students for the foreseeable future. I’ll also need permission to conduct interviews of any witnesses who saw Sgt. Blair at any time last night.”

“Closing off the field will be no problem, as well as permission to question any staff. I will need parental permission, however, for in-depth questioning of any student below the age of 17. You may confirm and identify any witnesses among them, though. That will help us narrow down the number of people to contact. The faster this case is solved, the better everyone will feel about their safety here, once news of this reaches them.”

“We may be able to accommodate you. I’ve recently made the acquaintances of a few individuals who are quite talented in solving strange mysteries. Please accept my condolences. I’ll be in contact soon.”

* * *

“Who’s that in there with Gray?” Lucy asked, peeking into the window of his room.

“He’s the Outreach Services Coordinator for the Physically Disabled. He’s talking to him about arranging special training to deal with his blindness,” replied Lyon.

Team Natsu was waiting outside Gray’s hospital room, waiting for their respective briefings to finally be over so they could leave. Wendy, Carla, and Porlyusica had left a week ago to supervise the installation of a few pieces of non-magical medical equipment the guild had purchased recently, just in case they were needed, as well as to inspect Gray’s house for potential tripping hazards.

“Please tell me he didn’t introduce himself with that title,” she asked hopefully. With the mood swings Gray’s displayed this past month, the last thing he needed to hear about himself was the implications of being disabled, even if the conditions warranted such a label.

“Mr. Bradley is well acquainted with negative reactions to his job title. He only ever uses his given name when meeting people for the first time,” reassured Dr. Crenshaw.

“He knows Gesture Speak,” Erza observed, as the coordinator had no trouble understanding Gray’s gestures.

“He likes to be prepared when dealing with all sorts of disabilities. He’s also well trained and experienced in dealing with psychological issues stemming from traumatic events, if you should need use of such services.”

“We’ll keep him in mind. Doctor, if I may be upfront, these pamphlets are somewhat lacking in explaining what we should expect from here on out,” said Makarov.

“I can only apologize, Mr. Dreyer. Usually, there is an abundance of programs and therapies available for victims of a variety of traumatic experiences, but there is an unfortunate lack of understanding when it comes to dealing with torture victims. It’s good that such traumas are rare, compared to others, but because of that, there is very little research in how to treat the mental scars that develop. To say Gray has PTSD is too simple a diagnosis. He’s more likely than not going to experience extreme bouts of anxiety and depression, frustration, anger, a lack of self-worth, unexplained fears, and nightmares. Physical symptoms may develop, including headaches and tremors. Even with his prescriptions, he’s likely to feel pain that medicines won’t help.”

“I think we saw some of those things in the last few weeks,” recalled Natsu, remembering incidents of freak outs during PT sessions and other times. He’s noticed an edginess in Gray’s attitude lately, as well.

“It will take a while to adjust. He’ll likely feel some culture shock when he gets home as well. While here, every action was monitored and regimented. At home, he won’t have the benefit of distractions that the PT and other therapies provided. That leaves a lot of time for certain thoughts and memories to come to the surface. Just keep in mind: in a period of less than three days, he suffered so many injuries, one after another, practically non-stop. He’s going to have bad days, maybe even weeks. He’ll probably lash out, and try to hurt you. You’ll all need to exercise patience and understanding above all else. Accept the bad for what it is, and celebrate the good times when they come. You’ll all get through these trials if you and he work together.”

The door opened, and Loren Bradley came out. He was an older gentleman, in his late sixties. His hair was silver and thinning, neatly combed and trimmed. He wore jeans with a sports coat over a black turtleneck. He was well built for his age, apparently an athlete in his youth. He had pulled the curtain around Gray’s bed, so he must be trying to get dressed. He gave everyone a small smile, saying, “He’s open to Orientation and Mobility training, so I’m going to set up some appointments for the coming months. After reading his file, I think he’d do well with my particular skill set and background, so I’ll be conducting the training myself. He was disappointed that he couldn’t learn Braille right away, due to the decreased sensation in his fingers. But he’s determined to gain more independence.”

“Is it wise to let him be by himself?” asked Lyon.

“I’m not saying to leave him to his own devices right away. Far from it. He’s still injured, after all. But letting him experience a little bit of freedom once in a while will benefit him. When he’s ready.”

“How was he when you talked to him?” wondered Makarov.

Loren smiled and said, “The first thing he said when I introduced myself was, ‘Loren? Isn’t that a girl’s name?’ I get that a lot, and I could tell he was teasing. It was a good meeting, all things considered. I wish we could have started O and M training sooner, but the exercises can be rather difficult and tiring, and he hadn’t yet recovered enough. Okay, then, I need to go juggle my calendar. I suppose I’ll be seeing you all soon.”

After Loren had gone, the others chose to let just the boys enter, since the curtain was still closed. While Natsu and Loke waited on the other side of the curtain, Lyon found Gray in a dissatisfied state. He was seated on the edge of the bed, and he was breathing heavier than normally. His left arm was clothed in a dark blue, long sleeved silk shirt, but he had trouble still in lifting either arm at the shoulder. The skin grafts tightened painfully at certain movements, and the wound on his chest didn’t help either. T-shirts were out of the question for now, as well as materials heavier than silk.

Making sure to announce himself, even though he knew Gray heard his entrance, Lyon softly asked, “Need some help?”

He just sighed and nodded, handing the garment to Lyon, gesturing, _“I still can’t put on a freakin shirt without pulling on the grafts._ ” Lyon went behind him to ease the shirt on. Gray started at the buttons before Lyon could, and Lyon was happy to see he had little trouble with the dexterity required. That was a vast improvement from before. The physical therapist had commented that his constant gesturing had helped with that immensely.

“One step at a time. Remember, you’re going home almost a month earlier than everyone was expecting. Be proud of that. All set?”

With a small grin, Gray asked, “ _Has anyone packed my gallery yet?”_

Over the past month, Mira had been sending cards and drawings along with Lucy and Erza during their constant back and forth journeys. Gray now had an impressive collection of unique art pieces from almost every member of the guild. Quite a few of them were from little Asuka, and Reedus even contributed a painting of the team posing in front of the guild hall. There were letters and photos as well, and until that morning, everything had been taped on every available surface of the walls. Natsu had noted how weird it was to hang everything up when Gray couldn’t even see them, but fortunately, Gray was at a PT session when he’d said it. That didn’t protect Natsu from a furious Erza’s fist to the top of his head for being so insensitive. Many afternoons were spent with his various teammates reading the notes and describing, in great detail, each of the drawings and pictures. He did indeed like the little pink pony with the bunny friend.

With a slight laugh, Lyon said yes as he pulled back the curtain. Natsu and Loke announced themselves before grabbing Gray’s bag and any gifts his guild mates had sent, while Happy carried the parcel of cards and drawings. “Master’s already taken care of the paper work. You’re all set to go,” said Loke.

“ _About freakin time,”_ mouthed Gray, relieved.

Lyon stood by just in case, but Gray was able to ease himself up just fine, and would be able to walk out on his own. He still had to take it easy. Even though his heart was stronger, he still got winded after walking too far. Reaching a hand out, he found Lyon’s held out arm with practiced ease, wrapping his fingers above his elbow. Walking behind and slightly to the side, he allowed Lyon to lead him out of the room, where he received warm welcomes from Master and the girls.

Erza stepped up, a smile in her face, as she asked him to hold out his hand, saying she had a surprise.

Curious, he did as she said, and felt the weight of a silver chain fall into his palm. He instantly knew what it was, but was strangely not as enthusiastic as she thought he’d be about getting it back.

“ _Where’d you find it?_ ’ He mouthed.

Listening to Loke’s interpretation, she nodded and explained how Levy had brought it all the way back from Black Vox, and the circumstances of it being there. Gray stiffened, his hand wavering, and he took a breath, letting it out slowly as he held the necklace back out to her.

‘ _Thank you...but...Why don’t you keep it for me...I’m afraid I might lose it.”_

Wondering why he couldn’t just wear it, then figuring that maybe it would be uncomfortable along his neck and against his chest right now, she accepted it back with a nod, saying, “Then I shall safeguard it until you’re ready to receive it again.”

He just nodded, and indicated his desire to go.

Dr. Crenshaw and Coleman, along with a few of the other staff who’d been a part of their lives these past few months, all gave their well wishes and farewells.

He could finally go home.

* * *

There was an uplifting atmosphere throughout the guild. Everyone knew Gray was coming home today. For whatever reason, there was a concerted effort to clean up the guild, inside and out. It started with Romeo and Asuka picking up some random bottles and misplaced silverware from the floor. When Macao asked about Romeo’s sudden bout of conscientiousness, Romeo explained how Asuka had gotten in trouble a few days before, when she had left some toys out. Alzack, who had returned from a mission late at night, had tripped over them in the dark house. When Asuka told this to Romeo, he got to thinking that the guild was pretty much a death trap for anyone who couldn’t see.

Macao saw the logic in that and started helping out, followed by Wakaba. Soon, others joined in, and it became a guild wide event. Max used his control over sand to thoroughly “sweep” every grain from the floor. Elfman and Bickslow, with the help of his babies, straightened out the furniture to a perfect, grid-like alignment, to ease navigation. There was even a team outside, cleaning up any litter and loose leaves or fallen branches, to remove tripping hazards. It was truly a sight to see such camaraderie and care being displayed by this loyal body of guild mates.

Juvia was especially diligent, using her powers to clean and polish every surface of the building. The floors have never been so shiny, and the tables and walls even looked new. Who knew so much grime could build up in the short time of this current guild hall’s existence? It’d be nice if this building would last a little while, given how much work they‘d put into cleaning it today. Gajeel came in as Juvia was finishing up the windows, evaporating the water for a streak free shine.

“Gajeel-kun! Have you come to help out with our ‘Welcome Back Gray-sama, Juvia Loves You, Cleaning Spectacular’? I intend to prove to my love how clean I can keep his cute and perfect home! Which job do you want?”

“Already got a job, and so do you. Pack up. We’re going to the train station. Lily’s already waiting there.”

“That’s a wonderful idea. We can be Gray-sama’s welcome party! Oh, but I must shower and change. I’ve been cleaning all day. Do we have time to make a sign? It will say ‘Juvia Loves her Gray-sama, and will kiss all his pain away!’ Where’s Reedus? I need to borrow some paint! Oh, there’s plenty of time! Seven hours? That’s rather early, but Juvia will wait however long it takes!”

“Dang it, Rain Woman! He wouldn’t even be able to read the sign! And also, we’re going to the station to _catch_ a train! I got contacted by a colleague from the Magic Council. He needs my team’s help with a case, but Levy’s needed for seal research. You’re the next one I thought of. Let’s go.”

“No! I can’t leave now! I need to be here to welcome Gray-sama home, and impress him with my housekeeping skills so we can one day marry and make twenty babies together!”

“Last I heard, he still goes catatonic if a girl so much as brushes up against him. Besides, I’ve worked with you longer than anybody else here, and this investigation is important.”

“For God’s sake, just go! The old man wants me to keep you on a tight leash around Gray, anyway. This’ll make my job easier,” called Laxus as he was helping a smiling Mira wipe down some glasses.

“You heard the backup guild master. Let’s go.” Without giving her a chance to refuse again, Gajeel grabbed her arm and dragged her like a rag doll towards the train station, ignoring the weirded-out looks from passers by and chibi-Juvia’s constant crying of “Wait for meee, Gray-samaaa!”  
  


* * *

  
Gray was rubbing at his temple again. Everyone, even Natsu from his head-between-his-knees position, noticed. They had hired an entire sleeper car for themselves, preferring to keep Gray away from so many strangers right off the bat. Loke had returned to the Celestrial World, and Master was napping in one of the cabins. They were currently seated in the spacious observation cabin. After a few hours of quiet conversation between the girls, Happy and Lyon, with Gray’s silent input here and there, they all noticed they were losing his attention.

He would rub his temples periodically, but it’s been more often in the last hour or so. When asked if he needed anything, he jerked his head towards them like they caught him doing something, and began to shake his head. He seemed to give it a second thought, probably knowing the girls would nag him nonstop if he did say no, and moved three fingers in the shape of a “W” towards his chin, tapping it with his index finger. “ _Water_.”

An hour later, he was still nursing an apparent headache, his glass of water left mostly untouched, but for his weird habit of swirling it around with his finger. No one knew where he’d picked up that habit, but it definitely started within the last month. Natsu wasn’t helping the situation any, with the constant sounds of his groaning and near-retching filling the uncomfortable silence. It looked like Gray finally had enough, because he suddenly clapped his hands together once, to get their attention, and gestured angrily, “ _Can someone please shut the idiot up?!”_

The phrase itself didn’t surprise Happy or the girls, but the clipped way in which he’d gestured certainly did.

Erza was quick to appease him, striking Natsu in the solar plexus to knock him out. She lifted him to her shoulder, stepping towards the door as she said, “I shall take Natsu to share the cabin with Master.”

With Erza gone, Happy following to offer Natsu sympathy when he woke up, Lucy felt even more awkward. Sure, she got along well enough with Lyon, but what did they have to talk about that they haven’t discussed yet at the hospital? Suddenly, Lucy got a great idea. Digging through her satchel, she pulled out more of her manuscript, which she had written in the last few weeks. If anything could lift his spirits, it’d be another chapter of her brilliant masterpiece.

“Hey, Gray, guess what? I wrote another chapter of my manuscript. If you want, I could read it to you,” she said temptingly.

At first, it looked like he didn’t hear, but he finally turned his head towards Lucy’s location, seated straight across from him by the window. For some reason, he seemed annoyed, but that dark demeanor slowly dissipated, and he nodded.

Lucy let out a breath she hadn’t realized she held, and opened her manuscript to a marked page.

As she read in her typical story-telling voice, Gray tried to pay attention. ‘ _What the heck is wrong with me?’_ he thought. His head ached, and he was agitated, but he’s usually a lot more tolerant of long train rides and annoying encounters with Natsu’s gastral-intestinal misadventures. He was finding it hard to maintain focus, and for whatever reason, he was finding Lucy’s voice less than pleasing to hear. He felt bad for maybe possibly hurting her feelings, which compounded the irritation. He wasn’t even sure if he _did_ make her sad, since it’s not like he could read facial cues right now. That just added more to the feelings of ire he was trying to tamp down.

He heard a gasp from Lucy, and he turned his focus back towards her as he felt Lyon move abruptly beside him.

“Gray, stop! What are you doing?!” he yelled.

Not understanding what he was talking about, he just sat there, unmoving, waiting. He felt Lyon grip his left hand, prying it off his arm. He didn’t notice the blood that Lucy had seen on his fingers, but he did feel the sudden pain flare up along those wretched tally marks.

Lyon quickly rolled up his sleeve, revealing the torn open wounds. He’d been gouging out his tally scars without notice?! Lucy stifled a scream as Lyon reached for the first aid kit they kept on hand. Erza burst in, having heard the commotion. She quickly observed the situation and got down to business, opening packets and passing Lyon supplies as he cleaned and dressed the newly opened wounds. At least they didn’t appear to need stitches again.

Lucy asked Gray if he’d let her clean the blood off his hand, which he allowed, feeling like he owed her somehow. The idea that that was the only reason, and not because she just wanted to help, didn’t sit well with him, but it wouldn’t go away either. He kept his head down as they worked, either not hearing or ignoring anything they were saying. It was all background noise to him. Erza sat next to Lucy after they had finished and cleared everything away.

They said nothing more, waiting for Gray to make the first move. And waiting. He was oddly calm, not a hitch in his breathing, not so much as a tremor. He couldn’t possibly have fallen asleep in all that commotion, right?

Looking at the girls, Lyon could only shrug, then faced him once more, speaking very softly, afraid to spook him. “Gray?”

Not even a twitch. His face was almost serene, and his posture relaxed.

Erza was getting scared and impatient at the lack of response, so she did something she should know better than to do, but she felt she needed to force a reaction.

She brushed her fingers through his hair.

He stood up so quickly, almost falling over, looking lost and terrified. He remembered where he was, and turned to Lyon, gesturing “ _Let me out,”_ angrily. Lyon stood aside to let him pass, but grabbed his arm to assist him. Gray violently pulled away, turning to yell at him, though it was only a hiss through gritted teeth. He looked disturbingly like a growling dog just then. He swiftly gestured, “ _I’m tired. Leave me alone. I can find my way,_ ” before turning to feel his way to the door, opening it and slamming it shut on the way out. They heard him do the same to the door of the cabin occupied by Master and Natsu.

The three friends remained where they were, too stunned to move. A few moments later, Master came in, a deep frown on his face as he joined them. “Happy was kind enough to stay with Gray, who didn’t seem to mind. What happened?” he asked wearily.

They told him everything, from Gray’s headaches to his anger at being touched without permission. Master was disappointed but unsurprised by this series of events. Both Gray and the team shared some fault, but they couldn’t be blamed either. They were all new to this, and it was something they’d all have to learn to navigate through together. He hadn’t expected these signs to manifest so soon, though.

“I’m sorry you had to witness that. It was so sudden, and so out of character for him. But we knew to expect something like this to happen. He’s been showing signs of acting out for weeks, and now that he’s no longer in a controlled environment, he doesn’t really know what to make of himself. All we can do is be more careful, and mind how we approach him from now on. Fatigue was probably a factor. We have to remember that his magic origins are nearly empty. He’ll tire easily, and today’s been especially hectic. I think if we leave him be for a while, and allow him to rest, things will be better when he wakes up. Try to relax. We’ll arrive in Magnolia in a few hours.”

“Yes, Master,” they all agreed.

Returning to the sleeper cabin, he quietly opened the door and peaked inside. Usually, he would announce himself, but didn’t want to disturb him if he truly was asleep. What he saw made him smile sadly, but his heart eased a little.

Gray had fallen asleep, curled onto his side, hugging Happy to his chest. At some point, Happy must have resigned himself to being a plushie, and fell asleep as well. There were noticeably wet spots on the bandages covering Gray’s eyes, and his nose was red, but his breathing was soft and even. Natsu was awake, keeping watch as best he could, trying to keep his usual nauseous complaints to himself. Makarov joined him, sitting beside him on his bunk.

He’d join Natsu in his vigil, and when Gray woke up, they’d talk if he wanted to. If he wasn’t ready, they’d let him know they would wait until he was. Today wasn’t a great first step, but it was a first step none the less. It wasn’t all bad, either. Take the good with the bad. For now, that was all they could do. For today, it would have to be enough. They would try again tomorrow.

* * *

_**One of the things I wanted to emphasize here is just how new and strange dealing with a friend’s trauma can be. The team has no idea just what they are in for, and will have to learn really quickly how to deal with this Gray. Things happen. People make mistakes, often times while meaning well. We’ll get to learn along with them, I guess.** _

_**Dr. Crenshaw’s statements concerning torture-induced PTSD is true in real life. There isn’t a great deal of research and psychological treatments available for torture victims compared to other kinds of trauma victims. This is both bad and good, bad obviously because they’re left with fewer options, but good because such victims are rarer than others. Yeah, small comfort there. Though the team will have help from a specialist, even he has only so much knowledge available, so for the most part, they’re having to figure it out as they go. Sadly, this is also true in real life.** _

_**Take a deep breath, let it out, and get ready for more of these incidents. There will be lighter moments, don’t worry.** _

_**Can you tell I’m prior service? Best to write from experience.** _

_**Also, please no hard feelings about Juvia. I don’t write romance, so there are no overt ships in this story. Just really close friendship and bonding moments. They’ll have their chance to bond later, but in this story, they’re just friends. So for now, I needed her elsewhere.** _

_**Please send kudos and/ or review. You must know how writers thrive off of feedback. I’d still like to read some ideas of what you’d like see happen in this story. Granted, I’m almost done writing the Recovery Arc, but who knows of I can squeeze something in before I publish the upcoming chapters? If it fits the narrative...? Hope you enjoyed** _ _**this chapter.** _

_**Next chapter: His first night “home.”** _


	15. Welcome...Home?

_**A little angst here, a fair amount of humor there, and a woman’s eye for aesthetics. Welcome home?** _

* * *

The sun was beginning to set when their train arrived in Magnolia Station. Gray was already up, leaning against the bank of windows in the corridor outside the cabins, waiting for the team to gather everything. Happy sat on the window sill beside him, keeping him company, since Gray seemed pretty comfortable around him compared to the others. He was about to start on another tangent about the superior qualities of cod over halibut, when he suddenly felt Gray’s hand absentmindedly petting his fur. He stopped talking, purring in contentment at the pleasant feeling. He didn’t get why Gray seemed to really enjoy the feeling of his fur lately, but he wasn’t going to complain.

Gray seemed lost in thought, and Happy wasn’t sure if he even realized he was petting him. But if it made him feel better...

The girls came out first, having little else to carry but their own bags. The boys were having to gather all of Gray’s things, but they soon joined the rest of them out in the corridor. Everyone was on edge, unsure if they should offer Gray a hand in getting off the train, or let him try to navigate on his own. To their surprise, he spoke up first.

“ _I’m sorry,”_ he gestured.

With sighs of relief, the tension was broken.

“It’s okay. We understand. We should have noticed your discomfort, and shouldn’t have pushed. We’re sorry, too,” offered Lucy.

He just nodded and asked to carry one of his bags, tired of feeling like they had to do everything for him. Instead of insisting they could handle it, Natsu dropped the satchel of artwork into his outstretched hand, saying with a cheeky grin, “Here, you can carry all your fan mail.”

That actually made him crack a smile, and everything seemed even lighter now.

“ _Whatever you say, Sparky.”_

All who could understand his gestures stifled their laughter at Gray’s nickname for Natsu. The poor dragon slayer wasn’t even aware that he had one, simply assuming that everyone’s given name had its own unique gesture. They’d all decided to wait on letting him in on the joke. Over the past month, Gray had given personal name gestures, nicknames, to all of his friends.

For simplicity’s sake, Lyon, or whoever else was translating, would still say the actual name of the person Gray was referring to. Everyone had already learned each other’s personal name gesture. Lucy became “Princess” due to Loke’s suggestion. She wasn’t amused, but it stuck. Erza’s was “Red Knight”, in reference to her magic. Gray liked keeping to the theme, as well. Makarov was simply “Master” or “Grandpa”. Wendy was bashfully pleased when she’d learned that her nickname was “Little Sister.” Happy’s was obvious. Lyon had retained his personal gesture from childhood. Gray simply placed his hand, gesturing the letter “L”, over his heart whenever he was trying to say his name. Ur had created that gesture, and Lyon was quite happy with the keepsake.

Happy helped guide him off the train and onto the platform, calling out each step and curb. Almost as if rehearsed, each member of their group took a position around him, acting as a barrier to ward off any unwanted contact. Lyon was sure if Gray knew what they were doing, he’d be equal parts touched at their consideration and annoyed at their worry. It was a good thing he was too busy trying to keep his grip on Lyon’s arm as they made their way through the crowd.

Per Master’s orders, there was no big welcome party waiting to greet them at the station, much to Gray’s relief. Turning towards the direction of his home, Lyon led slowly at first, but picked up the pace when Gray showed more confidence in his movements. So he was curious when Gray started slowing down, taking almost exaggerated steps, tilting his head as if listening, with a slight upturn of his lips. Lyon and the others smiled when they realized he was just enjoying the sounds the leaves were making as he stepped on them. It was late autumn now. It was hard to believe so much time had passed already. It was nice to see he was still able to enjoy such simple pleasures like this.

Anticipating each turn before they were called out to him, Gray already knew he had reached his home before he stepped onto his stone pathway. The sound of trickling water was the first thing that greeted him. He let go of Lyon’s arm and carefully made his way to his water garden, using the sound as his guide. To their astonishment and amusement, he dipped his hand first into the flowing water, then into the little pond itself. He waited mere seconds before a bright red and white fish came up to his hand and nibbled at it. He chuckled happily.

“ _I missed you too, Flo.”_

“Who the hell names a stinking gold fish!” exclaimed Natsu, still not believing that was a thing.

Erza shushed him as Lucy asked, “How’d you know that one’s Flo?”

Smiling, he said, “ _She’s always been a big flirt._ ” Grazing his hand through the water a little longer, he felt each fish come up to him curiously before darting away.

“Who the hell pets his fish?!” Natsu cried as he pushed Erza’s hand off his mouth.

“ _Happy, thank you for feeding them.”_

“Aye, sir!” he cried cheerfully.

Wiping his hand on his pants, he carefully climbed the steps as he heard Master open the door.

The first thing he noticed was the smell. It was surprisingly fresh and pleasant, not the staleness he was expecting. He walked in, getting a feel of the place. So far, nothing seemed amiss. The only sounds were the ticking of the clock on the mantle, and the humming of the condenser in the refrigerator turning on.

It was as he was stepping into his living room that the attack hit him.

**The stranger appeared from his bedroom, a diminutive man looking to be in his late seventies. His eyes were cold and sunken in, and liver spots covered his bald scalp.**

He stopped suddenly, Natsu almost bumping into him.

 **“** **I very much want to see your eyes clouded over with pain, as your life pours out of your body...”**

“Oy! What gives?”

**The momentary guilt he felt over using deadly force evaporated before he had a chance to acknowledge it. The creature, no longer a human in his eyes, still stood before him. He chanced a glance at the old man, who hadn’t moved from the bedroom doorway. He just stood there, smiling that gleeful smirk...**

“Gray?” asked Lucy.

**It didn’t matter how many times he cut it. It felt no pain. It felt nothing. But he felt everything. Every impact of its large fists against his sides and back would come back to punish him later...**

He dropped his satchel, the drawings and cards scattering on the floor. His hands were trembling, and his breathing was quick and shallow. Lyon moved forward to get a closer look at his face. His jaw was locked tight, his brow breaking out in a cold sweat.

**To his horror, it pulled the unfrozen parts of its legs apart from the frozen ones, and proceeded to fall to its hands and stubby knees. No blood flowed, just more of that strange dust. Unhindered by pain, the creature raced on all fours with surprising speed and leaped towards him...**

He gasped all of a sudden, Lyon catching him as he fell to his knees, and didn’t move. His breathing calmed, and his face relaxed. It was just like on the train. He didn’t fall over, just kind of paused where he landed, not moving, like he was in a trance.

Makarov stood before him, staring at his face, trying to gauge what was happening. Deciding he needed more, he reached for the bandages wrapped around Gray’s eyes and quickly removed them. He stared listlessly, unfocused, rarely blinking. He wasn’t asleep, but he wasn’t quite awake either. Was he drifting again? If he was, it was to a lesser degree. Whatever he had just experienced, it forced him to shut down, but not completely. Motioning the others to get him off the floor, Natsu and Lyon guided him to his feet, assisting him as he stumbled to an upholstered armchair and sat down.

Knowing there was nothing they could do but to wait him out, Erza volunteered to heat up some food while everyone else set about putting his things away. Natsu rewrapped fresh gauze around his eyes, more out of consideration for Gray’s sensitivity towards the scars than for any need to keep them clean and sterile. About twenty minutes later, he started to come around.

He knew he was sitting, but he didn’t recognize the chair. He was still in his house, right? The mantle clock was still ticking away. Before he could start panicking again, Happy hopped into his lap, knowing he was the lone exception to Gray’s “no touch” rule. Gray relaxed as soon as he started petting him, offering a small apology for worrying his friends.

“You have no reason to apologize. We’re just happy you’re back with us,” assured Makarov.

_“...Where did I go?”_

“We think you drifted, but not so deeply. Do you remember what happened?”

Makarov gave him time to think, hoping he hadn’t made a mistake in asking him to recall a bad memory. He had an idea what Gray had “seen,” but waited for him to talk about it first.

“... _The necromancer was here, with his creatures. They ambushed me when I came home. I couldn’t hurt them. They didn’t feel pain. One of them... broke my ribs. The other tore its freakin legs off and leaped at me. I stabbed one in the damned heart, but it still kept beating me. I didn’t want to kill. I killed it over and over. It wouldn’t die! I couldn’t kill it. I wanted to kill. I wanted—“_

He broke off when Lyon stilled his hands, whispering that it was alright to stop. They were gone now. He wasn’t a killer.

Gray hadn’t realized he was saying so much. His hands shook, and he took a deep breath to steady himself. Then Erza came up, purposely making some noise as she walked, and calmly asked if he wanted some food. He nodded, glad to get off of the current subject, and Lyon helped him to the dining table.

He was confused. He had a small, round table that seated four. This was a larger, rectangular table that sat six comfortably, but could be expanded to seat eight if needed; and the chairs were cushioned instead of just wood. He also noticed how he was lead around other furnishings that shouldn’t be there, or how he didn’t walk right into the coffee table that should have been.

After he was seated before a plate of reheated pasta and baked chicken, he quirked an eyebrow and gestured, “ _What the hell did you do to my house?”_

“We redecorated!” enthused Lucy, “We threw out all the old stuff and replaced it with brand new furniture and accessories. We even switched the rugs out. Everyone at the guild chipped in. Erza and Mira picked out the couch, since they figured they knew your tastes the best. I got you this beautiful, antique-style writing desk, with a teller’s lamp made of stained glass. Oh, and the leather chair in the living room reclines!... Do you not like it?” she finished timidly.

He kinda felt bad for waiting so long to answer, knowing they probably thought he was angry. But he was actually pretty touched that they’d done all that for him. He could guess why they felt changing everything out was necessary, and was very grateful they had thought to do so, as he hadn’t even thought of that. He kept his head facing her with his eyebrow quirked, and just when he was sure she was beginning to squirm under the scrutiny, he asked, “ _Would you like to borrow it?”_

Lucy, whom Lyon didn’t need to translate for, understood the words if not the question itself. “Borrow?”

“ _My antique-style writing desk. I hear it’s lovely. The lighting should create a nice ambiance, and the atmosphere around here is pretty quiet and not too distracting,”_ he finished with an actual smile.

And just like that, everyone was pleased. He wasn’t upset about the new decor, and he even seemed willing to open his home to visitors. They were expecting him to be rather distant, as his recent behavior had been leaning more towards isolation as of late.

Lucy smiled back, saying, “I may have to accept your invitation sometime.”

Now that everything was calm, they each settled around the table, except for Makarov. “Master, will you not be joining us? You’re more than welcomed,” said Erza.

“Thank you, but no. I wish to go to the guild and let everyone know we’re back. They’ll want to know that Gray’s settling in and doing well.” That was Makarov’s round-about way of saying that Gray’s meltdowns were his business alone, and wouldn’t be mentioned outside this room. Gray really appreciated that.

Everyone gave their goodbyes as he left. The food and conversation were both good and simple. The chicken was tender enough to cut with a fork, sparing Gray the vexation of needing his food cut for him. Erza made note of that as she watched him eat, so she could keep that in mind in the future.

The rest of the evening was spent getting Gray used to the new surroundings. There were an awful lot of throw pillows. Seriously, on every chair? Was that something girls did? Apparently they matched the color scheme. Okay? Whatever the hell that was. He just hoped they hadn’t painted the walls a different color. That reminded him. He’d have to place Reedus’ painting on the mantle later on. And Asuka’s pictures on the fridge. As soon as he could find them. It was going to take a while to get used to this new lay out. It’s been so long, he was having trouble even remembering the old one.

“So what do you think? Do you like what we’ve done to the place?” asked Erza.

After considering the question, he was very frank with his opinion. “ _I like it. All the new things, the textures, the placement; it feels like it’s not even my house.”_

That was a little confusing.

“But isn’t that a bad thing? We want you to feel at home. If you don’t like something, we can change it,” offered Lucy.

Shaking his head, he replied, “ _No. This is better.”_ He didn’t elaborate, but they got the gists of it.

The thought never crossed their minds that he wouldn’t want to stay in the place in which he was attacked.

There was also a bit of nervousness when he refused to go into the bedroom. Natsu had already told them how the necromancer had gained access to Gray’s house through the bedroom window, so they said nothing, moving on to new topics instead. At some point, Gray started letting his attention wander again. It was when he started reaching his hand up to rub at his temple that Lyon put an end to the evening.

It was decided that Lyon would be Gray’s primary caretaker. More to the point, he made the decision for them. Because let’s face it, he was older than them all, by years now, and had the patience and maturity to handle the given situation better than any of them.

They all made quick work of cleaning up and leaving, making plans to meet at the guild tomorrow. The sound of too many locks engaging drew Gray’s attention. They even added more locks? How...thoughtful? Lyon went to the kitchen, filling a glass with water before returning to the living room, placing it on a tray on top of a large, round storage ottoman that took up the middle of the sitting area. Gray heard him rummage around his bag, and recognized the distinct rattle of several pill bottles. Sighing in resignation, he felt around for the glass, and held out his hand, accepting the plethora of pain meds, anti inflammatories, beta blockers, and sleep aids, swallowing them all at once as he downed the glass.

Lyon helped him to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash up. While he waited, he gathered everything necessary to redress the grafts. This was a methodical process, and Porlyusica took great pains in making sure he and Loke learned how to do it properly. For whatever reason, Natsu was adamantly opposed to learning as well, and Master, knowing his child enough to know he had his reasons, didn’t force the issue.

Gray came out of the bathroom, wearing only a pair of shorts. He waved Lyon down when he heard him starting to rise, and found his way with little effort. Erza was wise to keep a path clear to the bathroom and kitchen.

Lyon had him sit on the ottoman, and carefully unwound the old bandages. He asked if the medicines were kicking in yet, to which Gray gave a brief nod. He only had a short time to finish, then. At least the discomfort would be minimized. His skin was still wet from the simple sponge bath he was allowed, so Lyon helped him dry off, before donning a pair of nitrile gloves and applying a balm over the grafts. Lyon noted some small, dark spots in a few places, which he would inform Porlyusica about tomorrow. It’s likely those spots were dead grafts, which was a common occurrence and not something to worry about. He wrapped the grafts snuggly, first the arms, then the shoulders, back and chest.

He next checked his legs. These were the skin donor sites. Very thin layers of skin were harvested in order to grow the grafts. The donor sites were scattered all over his legs. His abdomen would have been a better choice, but for obvious reasons, was rejected. As for his legs, there remained only large patches of scabbed over abrasions now. No signs of redness or swelling. Good. They wouldn’t need redressing anymore. Finally, he gave the rest of Gray a once over. The myriad scars that still made a patchwork of the rest of his skin were fading still, leaving odd white lines everywhere. All except for the tally marks. Those were made far deeper for whatever reason. All in all, everything looked as to be expected.

He could tell Gray was fading fast, so he asked him if he was ready to go to his room. He jerked up, shaking his head, once more refusing to go in there. “I’ll sleep on the couch,” he gestured. Lyon relented. It really was a comfortable couch. He gathered some fresh sheets from the closet and laid them over the couch, before helping him stand. Gray was given some pretty powerful sleep aids at night, and there was no doubt to their effectiveness when he shakily walked that short distance and sat down. He gingerly turned onto his stomach, propping his head on one of those fancy throw pillows Lucy was gushing about earlier. He was out before Lyon had even pulled a sheet over his body.

After cleaning everything up, he decided to take the bedroom for himself. Leaving the door open in case Gray needed anything, he dressed in his night clothes and went to the closet to hang his coat. Glancing around as one tended to do in someone else’s closet, his eyes spied something unexpected. Hidden away on the top shelf was a violin case. ‘ _Huh. I never knew you played,”_ he thought to himself as he closed the door.

Laying down on the bed, Lyon thought back on the day’s events. So much had happened today, it was a wonder there was enough time to get it all done. Tomorrow they’d be going to the guild. Everyone thought Gray would have been excited about that, and he was, but there were also signs of wariness. How would he react to everyone there? How would they react to him? There’s no denying that he’s changed in some ways. Would they be able to adapt? Master Makarov surely took the time to brief everyone to keep things calm and orderly. What was there to worry about?

These thoughts were the last in his mind as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**_It occurs to me that, as established by the Sun Village arc, Gray’s prone to flashbacks. It’s a shame this isn’t explored all that much in canon. So many different aspects of the human condition just aren’t that well represented in the more popular animes, such as physical and mental disabilities. There’s more to those that live with such things than just those labels. I hope I can do a decent job in featuring these things in this story._ **

**_I name my fish, too. Live life to the fullest, Gray!_ **

_**Next Chapter: Return to Guild life, Asuka is adorable, and Natsu vs Lyon!?** _


	16. First Outing

* * *

The next morning, Lyon woke up when he thought he’d heard something. Turning his head towards the door, he softly called out to Gray, but heard no movement. The sound hadn’t been very loud. Maybe he’d just imagi—

The sound of a body stumbling and heavy breathing was real enough. He sprang out of bed, looking to find Gray gone from the living room. He hadn’t fallen off the couch, then. Hearing the breathing from the kitchen, he went in there, and instantly knew what had happened.

Gray sat huddled against the wall, knees drawn up, arms resting on top of them in a manner suggesting he was trying to keep his trembling hands as far away as possible. On the floor by the counter was a ruptured container of sea salt. Gray must have knocked it over while trying to find something. It appears that he’d bent down to pick it up, only for his hands to find the scattered grains instead of the container.

Lyon kneeled before him, trying to calm him down as he looked at his hands. He didn’t see any new injuries, but there were grains of salt sticking to the skin. He rose and went to the sink, wetted a dish towel, and returned to gently wipe the salt off his hands. As soon as he was done, Gray crossed his arms over his knees and hid his face upon them. He was still breathing too fast, but was starting to calm.

Lyon kept his voice low and steady as he said, “Gray, what can I do?... Say something. What do you need?”

He shook his head, unwilling to use his hands to speak. Lyon just waited patiently, as Gray’s shallow gasps gave way to steadier, deeper breaths. In a few minutes, he had calmed down enough to lift his head slightly, still facing down. But he lowered his knees into a criss-crossed position, resting his arms down. His face burned red in shame, and he waited another minute before he sighed and finally gestured, “ _I was thirsty. I was just reaching for a glass. I knocked over the salt. I didn’t know what it was until I tried to pick it up. I touched the salt itself, and I panicked...”_

He didn’t seem to know what else happened, so Lyon didn’t pry. “It’s okay. You’re fine now. I’ll clean it up. Why don’t you sit in the living room, and when I’m done, we can get ready to go to the guild.”

He had a look of melancholy when he simply gestured, _“I’m NOT fine.”_

Lyon paused, thinking about what to say next. He really wasn’t fine right now, so there was no point in patronizing him. “No, I guess not. You know better than anyone how you feel, so I won’t try to convince you otherwise. It’s okay to be upset. But it will get better. I think you believe that. If you don’t want to go to the guild, that’s okay. We can stay here, or go somewhere else if you prefer. Whatever you need, I’ll help in any way I can.”

Giving him all the time he needed to think it over, he was rewarded when Gray held up his hand. Lyon rose to his feet, and gently helped Gray up as well, surreptitiously checking his dressings for signs of blood, proof of a torn graft. Thankfully, Gray’s tumble didn’t seem to do any real harm. He guided him to the armchair and sat him down, leaving him with a prepackaged muffin to eat so he could take his medicine afterwards. After quickly cleaning up the mess, he returned with a glass of water and his next dose of pain meds.

Grateful for both, he didn’t fail to perform his new habit of dipping a fingertip in the glass, swirling it around as he finally stopped trembling. That was interesting, but Lyon wouldn’t bother him about it. What they all thought was just a weird habit he’d picked up out of boredom seemed to serve a purpose of calming him down. He’d have to remember that. Gray then downed the whole thing as Lyon went to change, bringing out a set of clothes for him as well.

Gray opted to go to the guild after all. If he didn’t show up, his friends would just look for him here, and right now, he had a very pressing need to be out of that house for a while.

The walk to the guild was leisurely, and Gray once again took a small joy in listening to the rustle of the leaves. He knew they neared the guild by the smell of Mira’s cooking. It was unmistakably her unique blend of spices and herbs that made her food call to him like no other. He had it down to a science, his ability to tell the time of day by the atmosphere surrounding the guild. Morning was relatively quiet, and smells of various breakfast offerings wafted through the air. Around noon, the noise level rose, and a few friendly fights would break out. By dinner time, the guild was often in an uproar, with Natsu usually center stage of the nightly, guild-wide brawls.

“Hey, Gray! It’s so great to see ya!”

“Gray-ni! Welcome back!”

Macao and Romeo were on their way out on a father-son bonding mission. It was great timing that they got to cross paths before they left.

“ _Macao, Romeo, thank you. It’s good to be back_.”

“Huh? What’s up with your hands? And why is Lyon-san doing all the talking?”

Macao lightly whacked his boy upside the head, saying quietly, “Romeo, we talked about that...”

While they were saying all of that, Gray turned his attention to Lyon, raising a brow as he said, “ _That’s not what I called them.”_

Lyon spoke through the side of his mouth, stifling a chuckle. “I know, but I’m not translating that. Just let it go,” he said quietly.

Gray smirked.

Neither pair heard the other’s conversations.

“Well, I really wish we had time to chat, but we’re gonna miss our train if we don’t hurry. Let’s meet up sometime when we return.”

“Yeah, totally! Bye, Gray-ni!”

After they left, Lyon couldn’t hold it in any longer. He laughed as he asked, “Why in the world did you call them ‘Stashe-Face’ and ‘Willow’?”

“ _I think ‘Stashe-Face’ is obvious. That fat caterpillar on his lip needs to die.”_

“And Willow?”

“ _He makes little balls of flame. He’s a will o’ wisp.”_

“How clever. Judging by their reactions, they don’t know, do they?”

He just smirked again and nodded his head towards the guild.

They were met at the door by Natsu, who had smelled them from a block away.

“About time. C’mon, we’re at our usual table. Hey everyone! Look who’s here!”

Due to Master’s warnings last night, the raucous greetings that he’d been dreading never came, as well-wishers showed great restraint in welcoming him home. They didn’t approach him directly, but waited as he passed, offering kind words and “welcome backs” as he walked, or stayed in their seats as they shouted greetings from afar. A smile began to grow upon his face as he took it all in. The sense of apprehension he hadn’t realized he held was fading with each step, to be completely gone when they reached Team Natsu’s table. Seated there were his team, along with Loke and Cana, who both greeted him so he knew they were there.

“Have a seat. Mira made pancakes!” Erza gushed, already on a third stack herself.

The team settled at their table, passing syrup and other toppings around. Lyon deftly swiped the salt shaker and left it at a nearby table, shaking his head at the questioning glances. Understanding arose, and they each nodded back.

The excitement died down a little, and the usual sounds of a typical busy morning at the guild resumed. Gray felt a little embarrassed, but also fond, when Cana told him how everyone cleaned house the other day, just for him.

As Gray was taking a sip of his juice, he heard a cry of “Asuka, wait!” before feeling all 40 pounds of little-cow-girl crashing into his side. The wind was knocked out of him as he instinctively wrapped an arm around the tiny human constrictor, but to Team Natsu’s amazement, he just breathed out a chuckle as he hugged her back.

Bisca and Alzack caught up with their daughter, mortified at what she’d done, but Gray just waved their concerns away. She was saying all sorts of things about missing him, and how glad she was that ‘her’ Gray-ni was finally back. She finally let go, looking up to see his bandage-covered eyes for the first time. She froze mid sentence, but started right back up again, asking curiously, “Mommy and Daddy told me that you got hurt. Is that why you were gone so long? Because you couldn’t see how to get back?”

Gray was impressed by her ease of accepting his appearance. He heard no fear or worry in her voice, just curiosity.

“ _That’s exactly what happened. It’s a good thing I got your drawings to remind me where I belong.”_

“How come Lyon-san is saying your words? My drawings? You got them! Which one was your favorite? I have more! How come your hands were dancing? Ah! Mommy told me that you lost your voice. That happened to me once. Remember? When I got a cold last year, and you came to visit, and made popsicles with my juice, and made me feel better! Is that how you talk now? I think that’s cool. Can you teach me? I wanna learn to talk with my hands!”

Why couldn’t the adults be this brave around him. She’s the first one to not treat him like a delicate piece of glass.

Before her parents could tell Asuka to please stop bothering Gray, he gestured, smiling, “ _If your parents don’t mind you hanging with me once in a while, I’d be happy to teach you.”_

Both Bisca and Alzack were relieved that Asuka’s little stunt proved to be harmless, and in fact had brought a smile to Gray’s face.

“Thank you so much, Gray. You really don’t have to, though. You’re still recovering, and Asuka can be a real handful,” Bisca said, not wanting to overwhelm him.

“ _I want to. It’ll give me something to do. Believe me, you’d be doing me a favor. Consider it my thanks for helping Happy care for my fish. Besides, we have a lot of time to make up for, don’t we, Sprite?”_

Lyon had to admit, that nickname deserved recognition.

So the morning was spent teaching Asuka a few easy words, like “mom” , “dad”, and “pony”, until the family had to leave for the day.

They spent the rest of the morning hanging around the guild, a rarity for their wanderlust-filled team. It was before the lunch crowd usually showed when they were visited by Levy and Freed.

“Levy! Freed! Come sit with us! Have you found anything? Do you have any news?” wondered Lucy.

“Welcome back, Gray. I am pleased to see you’re on the road to recovery. I’m afraid we can’t stay for long. We merely came to offer our humble apologies for our continued failures in releasing you from those insidious bindings. The method in which they were inscribed has posed a difficult challenge. Even when we can finally translate the texts, it will require rather invasive methods to rewrite them in such a way as to render them void. Simply cutting them away would be most hazardous to your health, due to the depths in which they seep into your flesh.”

Freed didn’t notice how pale Gray was becoming at the possibility of removing his flesh, but Levy stepped in to steer the conversation towards something less morbid.

“But rest assured, we have some of the best resources available, and we’ll work tirelessly until we find a nicer way to remove those seals.”

“Oh, absolutely,” Freed said, finally catching on, “We shall work ever diligently until the very end.”

Lucy wondered if working with the powerhouses of Laxus and his crew may have degraded his ability to relate to ordinary mortals.

Gray shook his head at the ghastly image trying to take hold of his thoughts, thankful that Freed’s usual verbiage made it easy to not follow along. He thanked them for their hard work, sending them on their way, and tried not to think about undergoing another flaying in this lifetime. He felt a headache coming on.

Mira arrived to take lunch orders, but stayed a bit longer to ask Gray about whether he’d like to receive a new guild mark now, and where he’d like to bear it.

A look of unease came over him, and he suddenly felt a sense of conflicted longing. He tried really hard to still his hands, keeping them fisted in his lap, but wanting to reach up to his nonexistent mark to find no sign of damage, to tell Mira that her inquiry was silly and unnecessary. For some reason, the idea of simply replacing his mark, of putting it somewhere else, left ashes in his mouth. That mark represented his pride as a Fairy Tail Wizard. It felt wrong to think it could be replaced as easily as his old furniture had been.

Mira seemed to sense his conflict, and quietly, calmly said, “It’s okay. I understand. I’m sorry if I caused you any grief. But you will always be a member of Fairy Tail. You don’t need an outward sign to prove that. Whenever you’re ready, it’s yours.”

He just nodded, relieved that he didn’t need to explain his reluctance. He didn’t want his friends thinking he didn’t even want the mark. He really did. Just not yet.

Lunch came and went, which was followed by the next round of meds. Everyone was polite in not drawing attention to them, as Gray was probably still sensitive about needing them. Wendy brought up some small talk about the new things she’s been learning with Porlyusica, while Happy was rummaging around his bag for a fish he was sure was in there. It was all pretty typical, everyday guild happenings.

As such, Natsu was getting bored.

He was antsy from sitting around all day, so he tried to coax Lyon outside for a friendly spar. Everyone gave him dubious looks, even Gray, which was kind of impressive. But he was adamant that it was just a spar.

“Do you always issue random sparring challenges like this?” he asked, only to be quickly answered by a round of simultaneous “yeses” from around the guild. “I assume anything goes?”

“If you think you can bring it,” Natsu crowed back.

Word spread around the guild about the potential beat down that was about to take place. It wasn’t everyday that Natsu got to face off against an Ice Wizard from another guild. Fairy Tail’s pride was at stake. As bets exchanged hands, Cana and Loke acted as Gray’s guides, leading him to the site of the match. Erza followed along, and would do her best to describe what she saw, while Loke would act as interpreter if needed.

The dueling wizard’s squared off in an open field behind the guild hall, with Master Makarov presiding. “Both of you keep it clean. All magic is allowed except for any spell that could seriously endanger life and limb. And for your own sakes, you’d better leave the guild hall alone. Winner will be called when the first mage causes the other’s back to touch the ground. Are you ready? Begin!”

Natsu shot out towards Lyon the instant he heard Master say “be—“, aiming a flaming punch right towards his face. Lyon didn’t bother evading, choosing rather to create a great ice ape to meet the punch while Natsu was still mid swing. The early impact decreased Natsu’s momentum, and threw him off balance, but he righted himself and tried to melt the ape with a wing attack. This back and forth went on for a few minutes, both opponents trying to gauge each other’s fighting styles.

Erza did her best to give a play-by-play of the action, but she oftentimes got too caught up to relay what she was seeing. Gray had little trouble imagining the action, however, as both fighters called out their attacks as they went. Standing at the sidelines allowed him to consider something he’d never really thought of before. It’s kind of silly announcing one’s attacks right before they came. About six times out of ten, Gray’s been able to predict what each opponent’s next move would be. A small majority, but still a majority. Still, he probably wouldn’t stop calling out his own attacks anytime soon.

A quick close range bout ended with a few ice spiders crawling down the back of Natsu’s vest. Taking a breather while Natsu frantically tried to get the ice off his back, Lyon considered his next move. Soon came the emergence of a pack of ice tigers, each taking turns trying to pin Natsu to the ground. Natsu wasted no time in breaking or melting each creation, but Lyon would just freeze them back up again. Natsu, growing bored with the stalemate, used his fire dragon’s flaming elbow to launch himself into the air, using ballistics to come down like a missile towards Lyon, his feet ignited to increase the damage potential.

Lyon created a large ice shield, which shattered on impact, throwing him across the field near where Gray and others were spectating. As he rolled with the impact, he managed to land without his back to the ground, so he was still in the fight.

Still, that was close. Gray was on the fence in regards to whom he should support. On the one hand, this whole fight came to represent a contest between Fairy Tail and Lamia Scale in everyone’s eyes, so of course he’d want Natsu to win. On the other hand, this was Natsu, and his own competitive feelings towards his rival would likely never go away.

His conflict was resolved quickly when he heard Natsu seal his fate with his boasts of, “How did you like that, Blizzard Face! Fire beats ice every time!”

Oh no he didn’t. No one insulted his teacher’s legacy without consequence. Grabbing Loke’s shoulder, he waited until he knew he was looking at him and mouthed, “ _I need Lyon’s attention.”_ Raising an eyebrow but saying, “okay,” Loke called out, whistled, and waved at Lyon, until he finally looked back at their group. Loke pointed at Gray, while telling him the show was his. Lyon looked to Gray, and saw he was gesturing. A smile broke out as he nodded, which Loke relayed to Gray: “message received.”

“Hey! What are you doing? No helping from the sidelines, Snowflake! What the hell are you two talking about?” Natsu shouted. Whatever it was, Natsu would be ready. Trying to circumvent the next attack, he ran forward, ready to take Lyon head on. Lyon brought his hands together, and Natsu readied another flaming fist, about to punch through the next creation, when he stopped short.

“Happy?!”

Flying before him was an perfect rendition of Happy in ice. Natsu was annoyed. “Hey! No fair! I can’t hit Happy!”

“But I’m right over here! C’mon Natsu! Are you in it to win it or not?” Happy shouted.

Shaking his head, Natsu gave a big smile, rearing back his fist. “You think you can psych me out? Think again, Other-Ice Block!” Before he could swing his fist, Ice-Happy sprung forth, grabbing Natsu from behind and taking off into the sky. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?! You think I—“

Suddenly, Natsu was overcome by his worse nemesis.

“HE’S MOTION SICK?!” shouted quite a few guild members.

“But that doesn’t make sense, does it? That Happy’s practically you!” exclaimed Lucy to the real Happy.

From the other side if the field, Cana wondered the same thing.

“ _That’s because it’s an Ice Happy. It’s not a real living thing, no matter how Natsu tries to imagine it so. It’s practically a vehicle.”_ Gray said.

Loke couldn’t hide his amusement when he said, “Been saving that one, have you?”

“ _Been fighting the moron since we were kids. I know his weaknesses inside and out.”_

After Lyon thought he’d had enough, he sent his Ice Happy into a fast dive, hoping to force Natsu onto his back when they landed. The impact caused a cloud of dust to rise, and everyone waited with baited breath to see what happened. When the dust cleared, what they saw was a pissed off Natsu, bent over backwards, stubbornly holding himself off the ground with his hands and feet. He flipped back into a standing position, and readied his next attack.

“That does it, Ice Prick. I’m gonna end this!”

“So be it. One more attack. Make it count!”

Natsu started gathering air into his lungs. Everyone, including Lyon, knew what he was planning.

‘ _If he wants to end this with dragon slayer magic_...’ he thought.

Gathering his magic, Lyon created a large, powerful, and majestic Ice Dragon. It towered over the crowd, its shadow darkening the whole area. Natsu saw it as a direct challenge to his skills as a dragon slayer.

Lucy had a bad feeling about this. Looking past the duelists, she saw in Natsu’s line of fire reasons for her concern. Before she could warn Natsu to rein in his powers, he released his fire dragon’s roar at full blast.

Erza saw what was coming before he let loose, and shouted her own warning before requiping into her Adamantine Armor. She yelled at Loke to bring Gray to safety behind her shield, while others around them either scattered away or also sought shelter behind her. Loke had Gray and Cana duck down as he got in front of them, shielding them with his own body as well. Gray had no idea what was going on, as everyone had been cheering so loudly, then yelling in fright, that he couldn’t hear either of the two fighters shout their attacks. He started to feel anxiety grow as he tried to use his other senses to figure out what was going on.

Then the heat struck, and he lost all sense of reality.

The flames hit Erza’s shield, dispersing and passing the barrier to form a wall of fire and heat around those trapped behind. Though no flame touched him, Gray was overwhelmed by the sensation of the intense heat. It was stifling. The noise of the flames all around him overruled all other sounds. The odors of heated metal, burnt earth, and singed hair froze him. He couldn’t move. Couldn’t think. Couldn’t breathe.

He was once more in the kiln.

Loke knew something was wrong when he heard and felt Gray’s harsh, hissing screams. He and Cana were both struggling to keep Gray still, until he suddenly stopped all movement, collapsing into a heap on the ground beneath them.

The fire soon came to an end, and Erza released her shield, changing back to her regular armor. “Natsu, you fool! Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?!”

“Gray! C’mon, wake up!”

Loke’s shout drew everyone’s attention, and they all moved in sequence, most scurrying away to make room as Team Natsu gathered with Lyon and Master around Gray. Cana was supporting him as Loke gently shook his shoulder and tapped his face, unable to rouse him.

“I think he couldn’t handle the flames. He’s drifting!” Cana said.

Natsu’s stomach dropped. He couldn’t believe he’d used full flames in that attack. What the hell was he thinking?!

“Take him to the infirmary. Wendy, go with him. Also, someone fetch Porlyusica!” shouted Master.

Loke gathered Gray in his arms and rushed towards the guild, followed by Lyon and the rest of the team. Except for Natsu, who stood, rooted to the spot, still staring at the space where Gray had laid. Master waited patiently while he gathered himself together. He trembled and gripped his fists, and didn’t fight the tears as they fell. He finally looked at Master with so much sorrow in his eyes. He was devastated.

“Ji-chan...I...I...” He couldn't find the words.

“I know. No one meant for this to happen. I also should have stepped in before it got so far. But I felt that everyone needed this. It’s been a while since we’ve had so much excitement in the guild. It’s a shame to end it on such a bad note. Let us go inside and wait for Gray to wake up. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. Try to take heart, Natsu. Though the circumstances are upsetting, Porlyusica believes he’s in a safe place when he drifts. He’s going to be okay.”

“Yeah? Then what happens if he decides to stay in his safe place?”

...

“Let’s hope it never comes to that.”

* * *

**_Author-Sensei is kinda mean, adding on more angst for both Gray and Natsu. Not sorry.  
_  
**

**_Next Chapter: Orientation and Mobility: the first step to independence. Or, a small window into the world of the visually impaired._ **


	17. Lessons Learned

_**MEDICAL DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed medical or psychological professional, nor have I ever had a career in the criminal justice field, unless my stint as a Chaplain for an MP unit counts (No, it really doesn’t). I just like to read about a vast variety of topics. Though I did study such courses in college, so I do recall some things.** _

* * *

Lyon answered the door before Loren Bradley had raised his fist to knock. This was to be Gray’s first session of Orientation and Mobility training, where he’d learn the skills he’d need to be more independent. Lyon was more excited than Gray, apparently, as he just sat there, swirling his iced coffee around with the tip of his finger. If his theory was correct, then Gray was performing some kind of coping mechanism right now. Could he still be upset from this morning? Still, it was far preferable to the actions he took on the train the other day.

“Please come in. Can I get you anything?” he asked as he took Loren’s coat.

“Some of that coffee would do nicely, thank you. Good morning, Gray. How are you feeling today?”

He shrugged, putting his coffee on a side table before gesturing, “ _Out-freakin-standing. I’ve had four panic attacks since I got home. The last one was this morning. Apparently I’m afraid of the damn stove.”_

That wasn’t quite an exaggeration. It was actually the sound and scent of frying bacon that had him dry-heaving into the toilet this morning. Lyon added cooking to the list of forbidden acts within Gray’s presence, and offered oatmeal and fruit instead. Which he had no appetite for, but choked it down anyway. He had no problem eating meat yesterday, so it wasn’t the bacon itself. Just the act of preparing the meat was a trigger. Those pre-made meals were going to come in handy this week. Gray still hadn’t gone into the kitchen today.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Though I’m here officially to help you adapt to your blindness, I want to remind you that I’m also a board certified counselor. If you need to talk about anything, I’m more than glad to listen.”

“ _I’ll keep you in mind if I feel like having a cry fest. Can we get started?”_

“Gray, no need to be coarse with him,” Lyon admonished.

“It’s quite alright. It’s good to let some frustration out. Don’t hold back on my account. But if you don’t mind, Mr. Vastia, I’d like to do this first session with just the two of us. That is if you’re comfortable with that idea, Gray?”

The only sign of tension Lyon saw at the mention of being alone with a more-or-less stranger was Gray’s tightly clenched jaw and the stiffness of his posture. But after thinking about it, he nodded once. It’s not like he hadn’t been alone with him before. Of course, it’s also not like he’s got a squad of over-protective wizards right outside his door this time, either.

Lyon reluctantly consented, saying he’d go to the guild to keep the rest of his team from getting too curious and barging in on them, and left.

Loren studied his charge. He was wound tight enough to snap, and didn’t seem at all interested in starting lessons today. So, he sat down in the recliner adjacent to Gray’s armchair and let out a loud sigh, practically melting into it. He made exaggerated motions in an effort to show confidence and comfort in his surroundings. Emotions could be contagious. It’s a common device to ease a patient into a sense of calm by displaying your own calmness. No one had confidence in a surgeon who’s hands were shaking.

Looking around the room, he tried to get a feel for Gray’s personality, but everything, while stylish, was pretty impersonal. No help there. He looked back at his charge. Gray had turned his head towards his direction, a cautious but curious look to his demeanor. He still held himself rigid, but his hands weren’t gripping the arms of the chair quite so tightly now. Loren decided it was time to get started.

“Gray, do you know how to attract a squirrel?”

Well that was a weird conversation starter.

Questioning the credentials of his house guest was probably rude, so he held back the retort. He was a little curious where this was going anyway, so...

“ _How_ ,” he gestured.

“You have to act like a nut.”

He tried not to, but it was such a stupid joke, in such a tension filled room, that he couldn’t help it.

He chuckled.

Loren had never heard a silent laugh before. It was interesting, in his opinion.

Gray’s posture loosened, and he slowly leaned back in his chair, easing into the cushion so as not to put too much pressure upon his grafts. “ _So am I the squirrel or the nut?”_

“*Chuckle* I should let you know that very few have asked me that after hearing my riddle. You’re a very sharp one indeed. To answer your question, I think life would be boring if we were constrained to being only one or the other. But if you’re asking about your mental well being, I don’t think your insane. Angry? Frustrated? Troubled? Things you have every right to be. Should be, in fact. There’s nothing wrong with what you’re feeling. I’d be concerned if you didn’t feel these things _.”_

_..._

_..._

_“... I had a good day yesterday. I had fun, spent time with my friends. The pain wasn’t so bad...but...”_

“It’s normal, and okay, to feel joy sometimes, too. You’re going to have these ups and downs. At least your friends are here to help.”

“ _I got pissed off at them on the way home. I don’t even know why. They weren’t even doing anything, but trying to help. And I was an ungrateful bastard who snapped and scared the crap out of them.”_

“And they forgave you.”

“ _Of course they did.”_

“And you feel you don’t deserve it?”

...

“Gray, all these feelings are common in trauma victims. I know you don’t like that label, but that’s what you are. You did nothing wrong. Nothing you did caused your ordeal. Anything you say or do that would be out of character for you will be met with understanding and forgiveness, because your friends will know it’s not really you trying to hurt them. But you’re also more than that. You’re more than a victim. You’re a talented ice wizard, regardless of those seals. Your a good friend, a brother, a fighter, a protector. No one lives with just a single label. You’re going to overcome this. One day at a time, one action, one word, one thought. Each one building upon the other. Anything broken can be made whole, if you’re willing to try to fix it”

“... _Where do I start?”_

With a warm smile, Loren replied, “In your case, first you learn how to walk in the dark.”

* * *

-Rune Knights local branch station-

DeWalt met them in the lobby, escorting them passed security before taking them down to the Tombs, the medical examiners’ euphemism for the morgue.

Gajeel and Panther Lily were up late last night, talking to DeWalt via lacrima about this case in comparison to the other ones. Juvia, after a day and a half of sulking over missed opportunities, immersed herself in those other cases, under the perception that the sooner they finished, the sooner they could return. At least she was motivated.

She had spent the evening before going over the numerous reports of mysterious animal attacks. The similar wounds on all of the victims were such obvious hallmarks of a potential serial killer, but due to numerous reasons, it took these last two months to establish that fact. The distance between kill sites, the variety of the types of victims, the fact that the numerous local law enforcements all put the crimes down as animal attacks, and the fact that there was no other pattern besides the wounds all made it difficult to put them all together. Until this latest victim: a healthy young man, in a region free from dangerous predators, far from any region that actually had a population of dangerous creatures. Also with the same wound.

Entering the morgue, Gajeel, Panther Lily, and Juvia were introduced to the forensics pathologist, Dr. Lambert.

She got right down to business. “No animal made these wounds. You’re looking for a serial killer, and its definitely a mage. Let me show you my findings. I hope none of you are squeamish.” Without any other warning, she pulled back the sheet from the latest victim, Sgt. Blair. Gajeel tried his best to ignore the smell, while Panther Lily kept his stern visage as he studied the victim’s wound. Juvia kept her calm, though she avoided looking at the body, simply keeping her eyes straight ahead or on the doctor.

“I want you to note how the edges all around the wounds are uneven, ragged. This wasn’t made by a sharp-edged tool. There’s no patterns consistent with anything serrated either. The biggest clue, though, is the rate and direction of dermal extension.” She stooped closer to the ravaged wound, gently pinching and pulling at a flap of skin. Gajeel wanted to excuse himself to find a restroom, but sucked it up and stayed. “Can you see how the skin seems to be stretched all along the wound? If you look really closely, you can see that all the edges have stress marks indicating an outward trauma. Isn’t that fascinating?” Looking up, she saw everyone, even DeWalt, staring at her wide-eyed at how close she’d put her face to the gaping hole. “Why aren’t you looking? I can go over it in more detail if you need help following along. I have extra gloves, too. You should feel this. The textures are a much better give-away than just looking at them.”

“Perhaps you could just spoil it for us, and tell us how he died.”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Cause of death was extreme shock due to pressure induced internal trauma, followed by rapid exsanguination. What I’m saying is: his guts weren’t torn out. They were forced out, from the inside, leading to shock and complete blood loss. Something like this can’t be done with any known weapon. Your killer used magic to build up pressure in the victim’s abdomen until it exploded outwards.”

“That’s disgusting. You don’t think anything alive came out of there, do you?” asked, Panther Lily.

“Wouldn’t that be amazingly scary?! I like where your mind goes! But no. There were no signs of anything physical inhabiting the victim’s body cavity,” she answered, not ruling out anything magical.

“Humph. Sounds like something you’d be able to do, Juvia.” observed Gajeel.

“Excuse me? Juvia would never do something so vile!”

“Difference between ‘would’ and ‘could’. Nobody’s pointing fingers. I’m just saying that it’s possible someone with skills similar to yours could be the culprit.”

“That’s true. What if a water mage took over the water in the victims’s own body and used it to kill them? It would resemble blood loss, and leave no evidence of the perpetrator, since the victim’s own blood would be the weapon,” said Panther Lily.

“It sounds like we have enough to start putting together a profile. Anything else, doctor?” asked DeWalt.

“Well, if all those other victims are indeed related, then your killer is moving east.”

“You can verify that?”

“I took a look at the kill sites the knights had plotted on the map. I was able to look at photos of the various victims to ascertain probable times of death, and just connected the dots. I’m even willing to bet there are undiscovered victims out there. Some of the times average pretty close together, but if timing is consistent, then there are gaps between some of the killings. I’m no profiler, but to me, timing is just as important to a serial killer as method. If you find anymore victims within these gaps, we can better narrow down the timing of the next killing.”

“That’s our next step, then,” said Gajeel, “What would it take to get some teams out there?”

“We have enough evidence to classify this as a serial case. That gives us unlimited access to resources,” answered DeWalt.

“Um, Juvia has a question. If the killer is headed east, where do you think their destination is?”

“I think once we get a timing down, we can possibly plot the next site on the map,” suggested Panther Lily.

“Okay. We have a plan,” said DeWalt, “Thank you, doctor. I’ll need your written report as soon as possible. Meanwhile, I need to inform the Magic Council that we have a deranged serial killer on the loose.”

* * *

Natsu was brooding. Happy didn’t know how to handle a brooding Natsu, so he sat with Lucy, not that she knew what to do with him either, but at least they could be indecisive together. Lyon had arrived a little over an hour ago, and Natsu was disappointed in himself when he was glad Gray wasn’t with him. How had things gotten to this point, that he was afraid to face his best friend? They were all seated together, but not much conversation was forthcoming. Erza felt like she’d failed to protect Gray. Lucy felt she should have noticed the danger sooner. Lyon was anxious to get back, thinking that if Gray had another episode, he ought to be there. There was just a big cloud of anxiety hanging over their table.

“*Sigh* This is ridiculous. Natsu, what you did was stupid, but Gray already forgave you. Learn and move on. Lucy, even Master felt responsible for not stopping the fight in time. There really was nothing you could do. And my armor did it’s job. No one got hurt. None of us can help the way Gray reacts to certain things. All this guilt is misplaced. It was an accident. We need to move on.”

“He’s probably afraid of me, now,” mumbled Natsu.

“He’s not,” said Lyon, “any more than he’s afraid of the girls. He knows none of you would ever hurt him.”

“But I could. We all saw his burns. That’s what my magic can do!”

“But it never has. Stop worrying about things that would never happen. You would never hurt him like that. Even I will admit that you have too much control to allow for that to happen,” said Erza.

“What about when I did lose control? Huh? Did you forget that fight you interrupted? We could have killed each other that day,” he reminded, referring to their battle during the invasion of Alvarez, when they’d both lost themselves to their powers and grief. “What’s to stop that from happening again?”

“We will. All our friends would step in to stop any one of us if we ever lost control. But I have faith that we’d never need to,” said Lucy.

Natsu still had doubts, but he wasn’t one to give up without a fight. He wasn’t going to let his fears, or Gray’s, define their friendship. They didn’t fight off a horde of zombies and pull Gray from the brink of death, just to lose him now. If they were to help him, they’d have to get their own crap together. For the first time today, he sat up and smiled.

And as they all would learn, emotions could be contagious.

* * *

“Remember to keep your fingers curled, and only touch the wall with the knuckles of your pinky and ring fingers.”

Gray was learning how to walk in a straight line while locating the positions of possible obstacles in his path. He had already gotten a crash course in using his bare feet to determine which room he was in by feeling the textures of the floor. Right now, he was learning how to use walls, furniture, and countertops to move about his home. He had been led around at random, until Loren left him at a wall. He had to orient himself, to figure out exactly where he was. It was harder than it looked.

“ _I found a doorway. A closet? No, the laundry room_ ,” he gestured.

“Good. Now face me. Listen to my voice. That’s it. Take two steps forward. Now, very carefully, spin in a circle for five seconds... Good. Now, can you tell me where the kitchen is?”

Gray concentrated. All those directions had left him disoriented. All he knew was that he was on a rug. But there were several rugs in his house. His frustration was growing as a headache began to form. Taking a deep breath to calm down, he recalled what he’d learned so far. He heard bird song from an open window. Which one? He could feel a slight breeze from the same window. There was the sound of leaves rustling. A tree on that side, then. It was either a north or east facing window. Then he heard it.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

The clock on the mantle, in front and to the left of him. The window faced his front yard. The kitchen was—

“ _There_ ,” he pointed.

”Very good. Let’s take a break. Can you find your chair?”

He reoriented himself, using the clock again for reference. As he stepped forward, he stumbled just a bit, when he brushed against the large ottoman. It didn’t bother him, and he sat in his chair, relieved. “ _I_ _can’t believe I’m this tired already_ ,” he gestured.

“This is new territory. You’re having to concentrate a great deal in order to do something that you could do without thought before. It takes a lot of mental energy to do this. It’ll get easier.”

Gray just leaned back and rested for a bit.

Loren looked around once more, trying to see what he was missing. Gray should have known that ottoman was there, yet he didn’t even slow down as he approached it. Really looking at it, he noticed it wasn’t worn at all. A recent purchase, then. That would explain it. He then looked at the couch. It matched the ottoman. So he wasn’t used to the couch, either? The recliner he himself sat in right now; not a speck of dust. The leather still smelled new. The rugs. The lamps. The pillows.

Everything in this house was newly purchased.

“Gray, if I may ask, did you redecorate your house recently?”

Without even lifting his head off the back of his chair, he gestured, “ _My friends threw all my stuff out. Replaced it all and then some. I don’t know where anything is anymore.”_

“That explains why you’re having so much trouble with visualization. They did this after you lost your sight? Why would they do that? They must have known how difficult things would be for you...”

Gray didn’t answer. Loren could see he was clenching his jaw, his hands fisted. It dawned on him.

“This is where you were attacked.”

He was trembling now.

Loren got up from his chair and kneeled before him. Softly, not wanting to startle him, he said, “Gray. Have you talked about this with anyone?”

“... _my friends... I remembered...saw everything... They knew before but... I saw, when I came home... He’s still here”_

“Who? The man who took you? He’s in prison.”

He shook his head. “ _With me. He’s still here... Always.. I see him...and remember...”_

Loren would go into further details about these apparent flashbacks later. For now, he needed to know something more important.

“You told your friends what happened. Have you told them how you feel about it?”

“... _They know._ ”

“How?”

‘ _Because they’re my friends,’_ he thought, ‘ _They’d know, wouldn’t they_?’

He wasn’t sure.

...

“Gray, how do you feel about what happened to you here?”

...

...

“... _I... I don’t.._.”

“It’s okay. I’m not one of your friends, whom you have to protect. But I hope to be a friend to you. Sometimes it’s better to tell things to someone who’s not so intimately involved with your everyday life.”

...

...

“... _This isn’t... I don’t..._ ”

Loren just stayed silent, waiting for him to get it out.

“... _the latch was...broken... On the window, the latch... I thought...”_ he started, gesturing slowly, then more agitatedly, “ _I was...attacked...in my house...in my own f*cking home!...he came into my HOME! ...this isn’t...I... I don’t...this isn’t my damned home anymore! I don’t feel safe here, and...and it pisses me off that...that I’m_ _so afraid...Why the Hell am I so scared! It doesn’t make sense! It wasn’t like this in the chamber! Yes, I was scared at times, but I could push it aside then... But ever since I woke up... and I’m so tired of... of having to...”_

He rested his arms on his knees, hiding his face in his hands. Just trying to calm down, to get his breathing under control.

Loren thought this was good progress. He knew this was something Gray needed to say, not really seeking a response for it. Somethings, it was better to just get it out, no advice needed. But he also knew he’d have to steer this conversation into another direction, or Gray may have another panic attack. And with this knew knowledge, he thought Gray would be open to another aspect of his therapy program.

“Gray, have you considered getting a service dog. They’re very helpful in helping the visually impaired become more mobile. It would be a great companion as well.”

Gray took a moment to regain his bearing, brushed his hands through his hair before bringing them down, and thought. Then, “ _I’m in no condition to be taking care of another life right now. I can’t even take care of myself._ ”

Loren thought as much, but had hoped. But he understood. In Gray’s physical and mental state, taking on the challenge of training with a service animal would be difficult at best, let alone when he’d voiced his own doubts on the matter. For now, basic O and M training would suffice. Still...

“Well, we have another hour to train. I think it’s time we do something new.” He pulled an object out of his back pocket and placed it in Gray’s hand. It felt like four metal sticks, one covered in leather with a cord attached. Gray knew right away what it was.

Resting it on his knees, he gestured, “ _A cane.”_

“That’s right. You’re familiar with it.”

“ _Seen them around...gonna be hard to Gesture while holding this thing.”_

“That’s what the strap’s for. You’ll figure something out. For now, it’s important you learn how to use it. As you’ve learned so far, it’s not as easy as you think.”

Gray considered what he wanted to do. He was already so tired. And the headache was back. But the lessons were distracting. Distractions were good. But he was really going to hate that stupid cane.

Taking the cane back in his hands, he slowly stood up, slipping the cord around his wrist. With a quick flick, the cane extended, the four pieces joining together into one long staff.

He nodded his head, ready to begin the next lesson.

* * *

By the time Lyon and Team Natsu returned to Gray’s house, Loren was waiting patiently on the porch, the front door cracked open to peer inside. Gray was lying face down on the couch, sleeping. It was the reason Loren felt sure he could leave him alone for this talk.

“He looks exhausted. How did he do?” asked Lucy.

“For the O and M training, he did quite well. I’m leaving you with some simple instructions to help him practice. Let him set his own pace, but make sure he uses the cane. He’s a little stubborn about that. I’ll come out again next week to check his progress, and continue with more lessons. Also, I need to do some more research, so don’t tell him just yet, but if I find it feasible, I may have a way for him to learn to read Braille.”

‘When he feels he’s ready,’ was Loren’s afterthought.

“That would be wonderful. He was pretty disappointed that his injuries were preventing him from doing so. I’m sure all of this will make things easier for him,” said Lyon.

“He should gain more confidence as he practices. Just don’t move the furniture around and he should do well... Before I leave, if I may give some advice... Let him do things for himself.”

“What do you mean?” asked Erza.

“Has he been lashing out in anger, or displaying self doubt or signs of guilt? I’m sure you’ve witnessed him suffer flashbacks, yes?”

“Yeah, when we brought him home. And on the train, he was upset about something, but...” said Lucy.

Nodding, he continued, “On top of being kidnapped from his own home, he was restrained, physically tied down, for the majority of his ordeal. Being forced to endure the things he experienced, with the added hopelessness of being unable to do anything to stop it, will have had a very strong impact on his psyche. He lost his freedom. His sight and voice were taken. His magic, taken. Even his guild mark, taken. He’s lost his sense of security, and he feels like he has no control over anything anymore. He needs you to help him regain that sense of control. Let him do things on his own.”

They saw his point, and it made perfect sense. But how would they do that?

“What should we do? He needs help with almost everything,” said Natsu.

“Well, so do you. Let him help. Make him useful. He told me he was happy yesterday. What did he do?

“He...was teaching little Asuka-chan how to Gesture Speak,” said Lucy, “He looked like he was really enjoying himself.”

“He wasn’t afraid of her, either. She had him in a bear hug, and he didn’t even flinch,” added Erza.

“That’s perfect. If he’s so inclined, give him every opportunity to continue doing so. Anything else he wishes to try, let him. It’ll give him a sense of significance that the things he is capable of doing are being acknowledged.”

“He’s starting to wake up,” said Natsu.

“Good day, everyone. I’ll see you next week.”

They all went inside as Loren left, going about their own tasks. Erza and Lucy went straight to the kitchen to make something for lunch. Lyon went to Gray to let him know who was there. Natsu sat silently, still a little wary around him. Happy hopped on the couch next to Gray, receiving a scratch behind his ears without comment.

“The girls are making lunch. You still look tired. Hard lesson?” Lyon asked.

“ _Lot to take in. Can’t allow my mind to wander. And I’m always tired. Having two drained origins suck. Plus, seeing no light really screws up my sense of time. I thought it was late afternoon already.”_

“Hmm. We need to get you a watch you can read by touch. Or a clock with an hourly chime.”

“ _The mantle clock can do that. Got annoying, so I turned it off years ago. Guess you can turn it back on.”_

Lyon got up and did just that. Lucy came out of the kitchen, carrying a tray of sandwiches. “Gray, Erza doesn’t wanna wash dishes today. Do you have paper plates?”

“ _In a cupboard in the kitchen.”_

“Could you help her find them? You know where they are.”

?

“ _Still blind here.”_

“Please?”

Sighing, he got up and oriented himself before taking a step—

“You should use your cane. It’s good practice,” suggested Lyon.

Sighing again, he reached for the cane leaning against his chair, saluting as if given orders. He came to the threshold of the kitchen and paused, but felt no heat from the stove. ‘Just sandwiches today. No need to cook,’ he thought to himself.

Erza was rummaging in the cabinet over the sink, it sounded like. She looked his way when she sensed him at the door. “Gray, good, you can help me find those paper plates, now. Let’s hurry. I’m famished,” she said.

Quirking an eyebrow, he entered. The refrigerator’s compressor came on at that moment, making it easier to visualize its location in relation to the cupboard. Huh. That worked pretty well. He approached the cupboard, merely nodding towards it. Erza turned around, saying, “In there?”

Nod.

She found it, no problem. “Thank you so much. Let’s go eat.”

Walking passed him, she waited by the door. “You coming?” she spoke, surreptitiously giving him a clue to orient himself again.

Nodding, he turned towards her, having no trouble walking out the kitchen, and using the sounds of his friends chatty voices to find his way to the dining room. He sat in the same spot as always. Consistency. He took what was offered, ate half, and listened to the quiet chatter. Quiet because Natsu was still walking on eggshells.

Natsu had apologized yesterday before he was even awake enough to realize where he was. He’d already forgiven him. What’s the big deal? It’s not like he’d never been on the receiving end of a dragon roar before.

‘ **It’s because you’re so delicate and fragile, now. Wouldn’t want to break you again,’**

‘ _Shut up, brain.’_

But the thought did piss him off. He was a wizard of ice, not of glass. But the worst part was that Natsu just wasn’t being himself. Like they really needed two traumatized loons on the team. He didn’t want his friends to have more reasons to worry about him. Picking up the other half of his sandwich, he took a bite, then got an idea. He knocked twice on the table. Knowing he had everyone’s attention, he mouthed, “Natsu,” waiting for a response. He needed to zero in on his location.

“Hmm? What?” As soon as the words left his mouth, he got a face full of lunch meat and vegetables.

‘ _What the hell?!’_ was on all of their minds.

Except Natsu’s. He was too mad to think.

“WHAT THE HELL, YOU BASTARD?!”

“ _Watch your aim next time.”_

Natsu stopped, catching his meaning. It was like he took another hit to the face, but with a revelation this time. Was that what he needed to snap out of his funk? To get hit back? Because that’s the kind of relationship they had. They didn’t just apologize. If he gave a punch, he expected to take one back. It’s how they worked.

He smiled his biggest grin.

Things were good between them once more.

* * *

_**Awww. They’re so adorable when they make up.** _

_**Whew! What a relief. A somewhat happy chapter.** _

_**And a thank you to my blind friends for helping me with the O and M training, which is a real thing, and is absolutely as exhausting as it sounds.** _

_**I wasn’t gonna have him learn Braille. Then, on a whim, I started learning Braille. Dang. That’s tough. But then I thought, it’s not like he can have Lucy read everything to him, and we all know he loves to read. So I may as well give him something to look forward to.** _

**_Next chapter: Losing more of himself._ **


	18. Cold

_**So far, the last few chapters have taken place relatively close to each other, time wise. Keep an eye out for time skips for now on, which will be revealed through context or dialogue.** _

* * *

_It was always like this._

_Every night._

_When one closes their eyes, they think they can perceive darkness. Even in the dead of night, with no light to be seen, one can close their eyes, and see nothing but pitch. But there’s always something; a reflection, or a warmth. An energy that radiates not quite beyond the visible spectrum, but that the human eye can still distinguish. The person may not acknowledge it’s there, but if they concentrated, they could understand that not all was obscured from their sight. They could never know just how dark darkness could truly be. Only one who had grown up with sight, only to lose it completely, could ever fully understand what true darkness looked like._

_Early on, during those first few days and weeks after waking up in the hospital, Gray had thought he’d understood what darkness looked like; until the dreams began._

_At first, he couldn’t comprehend how it could possibly be darker than what he experienced everyday, but here..._

_He thought he moved, as he could feel his legs taking steps that landed on...? There was nothing beneath him, but he didn’t feel like he was falling. There was nothing but darkness._

_And that sound._

_A crackling fire._

_He tried to find it, if only to avoid it._

_It was too dark. How could he fail to find a fire in the darkness? He was told he’d still have sight in his dreams. But more often than not..._

_It grew warm. Warmer. Burning. His other senses awoke. There was smoke. Death. Decay._

_He was screaming. Here, in the dark, his screams echoed thunderously. It was all he could hear now. He’d be a stranger to his own voice, if not for these nightly terrors._

_It was always like this._

_Every night._

_Something touched him. It was cold, clammy, dead. He jerked away, only to be stilled by the feeling of those same cold, clammy hands over his eyes._

_Not Her!_

_It grew darker still._

_Stilled by utter fear, he could only tremble as his hands and feet were locked in place by his own inability to remember how to move. He felt like a lost child, scared of the dark, and of the demons that hid therein, caught by one such creature. The worse of them all._

_His breath came out in pants now, and it didn’t feel strange for him to let out a startled sob as the creature spoke, barely above a whisper in his ear._

_“If only you weren’t such a poor son, dear boy.”_

_Not Her! Not HER!_

_A keening wail was desperate to escape, but his terror made him choke on it. Still, he couldn’t move._

_He waited. He knew HE would come._

_“Heh, heh, heh. Such a naughty boy. Such a disappointing son. To take after that wretched demon. You deserve the fate that awaits you.”_

_The necromancer. Just his voice, so close, surrounding him. He tried to shake his head in denial, but the hands held firm. He felt that old, dry hand skating across his chest, causing him to shudder. He knew what would come next. He couldn’t stop the cry that escaped when the claw-like hand dug into his chest, right where his guild mark used to be. There were no bandages, no gauze, nothing separating his bare skin and revealed muscle from that monster’s touch. He drove his fingers deeper. Gray was gasping now. Tears leaked from behind the creature’s fingers, and the necromancer laughed._

_“You thought to escape me? I own you, dear boy. Do you not remember? You are the wages of your father’s sin.”_

_He struggled to move. He was paralyzed. His heart beat a cacophony in his chest, beat against the fingers of the hand still held within his open wound._

_“Good. Show me your fear. Let me feel it ebb and flow within your veins.”_

_He couldn’t breathe. And because he couldn’t breathe, he could no longer scream. He so desperately wanted to scream._

_“The ancients believed that the heart was the seat of one’s fear and faith,” he said, coming closer, continuing in a vicious, sadistic whisper, “I now hold your heart, dear boy. You will know only fear, and I will never let you go!”_

_He squeezed his heart, causing Gray to finally scream._

ooooo

With a violent start, he came back to consciousness. His screams echoed in his mind, to match his actions in his waking state. He hadn’t woken Lyon. He never has. A small, sad voice in the back of his mind sometimes wished he would, so he wouldn’t be alone. But he was also glad. He didn’t want to steal sleep from him as well. He does so much for him already.

All was silent. Just as it always was. Everything was still, just the sound of the mantle clock as it ticked away. It would chime the hour soon, probably. It was cool where he lay, telling him it was still night, as the morning rays of the sun would have warmed him otherwise, given the location of his couch by the large bay windows that looked out into the backyard.

He brought his breathing under control, laying still on his stomach, just as he’d fallen asleep. He didn’t move. Why bother? He was unbearably used to this by now. If it wasn’t the nightmares that woke him up, it was the insomnia that kept him from sleep. It was almost like a twisted competition between the two, to see which one better deprived him of rest.

He must not have slept long, as drowsiness was fast approaching again. How nice of the sleep aids to work tonight. No, not really. He was used to this, too. He knew he couldn’t afford not to sleep. So regardless of the ever encroaching night terrors that were sure to visit him again, he resigned himself to yet another night of torment, and allowed himself to fall asleep once more.

It was always like this.

Every night.

It was always like this.

Always

* * *

_It needed more._

_..._

_Not enough_

_..._

_Never enough_

_..._

_How long must it search for perfection?_

_..._

_For the seat of sorrow?_

_..._

_For the embodiment of curses to give it form?_

_..._

_It moved. The Perfection. It no longer lay where it was._

_..._

_To have come this far!_

_..._

_..._

_?_

_..._

_Something calls...misery...grief...dejection..._

_..._

_RAGE_

_..._

_So near_

_..._

_..._

_Perfect._

* * *

The incessant beeping that issued from the monitor lacrima was the only sound in the room. The only sound he ever hears when he’s alone.

That, and the never ending hum of the lights above. Being a super max prison, the lights were always on in a prisoner’s cell, to ensure constant surveillance. The same went for the hospital ward.

All he could do in that small room, sealed and restrained, was think. Thinking was an infuriating way to pass the time here, as all he could think about was his utter failure, and all that led up to it. It filled him with self deprecation, indignation, doubt, and rage. It’s a miracle he hadn’t died of apoplexy yet. An anger-induced stroke seemed appropriate. But no. He was reduced to wasting away from magic deficiency syndrome. What a pathetic way to go for a once powerful mage such as himself.

The lights flickered.

Nothing worth noting. This structure was old.

More flickering. The humming became more troublesome.

An ominous feeling came over him. Something wasn’t right.

Where were the guards? Couldn’t they sense anything?

“Who’s there?” he asked weakly.

There was a darkness. A pressure. Something cold.

It was all around him.

The lacrima beeped louder, faster.

It came for him.

Was it Death?

He never thought such a specter truly existed.

He couldn’t understand. He was a master of the Realm of the Dead. He’d brought terror to kings and soldiers. He’d had powers over life and death, courted prestige, glory, infamy.

Why was he so scared? How could he be a victim of such terror? He. Couldn’t. Understand!

The fear, the pressure, the darkness.

It was crushing, overpowering.

A deluge.

He was at its mercy, would receive none.

How unfair.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

* * *

_Such anger_

_pride_

_failure_

_defeat_

_despair_

_..._

_Destiny denied_

_..._

_..._

_Not perfect_

_..._

_..._

_It will do_

...

...

...

* * *

The headaches were in full force today, and he wasn’t in the mood for company. He hadn’t slept well the night before, which compounded the tension behind his eyes. He’d need to ask about upping the sedatives at night. As he sat in the recliner, he heard Lyon approach with his meds. Eagerly popping them all into his mouth at once before accepting some water, he gulped it down before shakily placing the glass aside, narrowly missing the side table.

He hadn’t fought Lyon earlier when he’d unwrapped the bandages from his eyes, giving no reason why. At this point, he didn’t care. Maybe he’d thought they were too tight, causing his headaches. Good theory, nice try, didn’t pan out. So when he returned and gave a soft warning of, “this is a little cold,” he was a little perplexed at the sudden cold and wetness draped over his eyes. Oh. So that was why. It felt...nice. Soothing. Not better, but getting there.

Lyon was pleased when Gray seemed to relax a bit. He was worried about the constant headaches, but just like all his other symptoms, they were a common occurrence with PTSD. Along with the insomnia. It looked like this was gonna be one of those downer days.

Things had been settling into a pattern of sorts. Wake up, breakfast, some O and M practice, then walk to the guild. They’d stick around for a few hours, and walk back home. Simple, consistent, safe. Gray became more confident in navigating to the guild every day. They’d have to try other locations soon. Today, though, would be spent at home.

Lyon made an effort to be quiet today. That would help with the headaches as well. He was in the bedroom an hour later, putting some clothes away, when he heard Gray closing the recliner. “Gray, I’m in the bedroom. I’ll be right out,” he called out. Finishing with the load, he walked out to find Gray leaning slightly forward on his hands, arms held straight, against the back of the couch. Lyon knew he was doing as his doctor advised, positioning his grafts more above his heart to ease the pressure of having rested on them. This was the reason he had to sleep on his stomach every night now.

After a minute more of this, he straightened and turned around, grabbing his cane while doing so. Good. He’d become more receptive of it in the last couple of weeks. That, or he knew he’d be nagged if Lyon saw him without it again. But the fact that he was considering Lyon’s feelings was nice, too.

“ _Let’s go outside.”_

That came out of nowhere.

“Sure. Where do you want to go?”

“ _Just on the porch. I want to be outside for a bit.”_

“Okay... Do you want to rewrap your eyes first?”

He hadn’t thought of that. He forgot they were visible. After some consideration, he slowly shook his head no. The earlier he got used to allowing others to see them, the better.

“Well, at least wear the sunglasses. You won’t want to expose them to light too suddenly, so soon. We don’t want Wendy to have even more to heal when those seals come off, do we?”

He didn’t want to argue with Lyon’s optimism, so he relented, and they soon found themselves sitting on the steps of the front porch. Gray was idly skimming the water in the pond with his fingers, causing his fish to chase after the intruding digits. They were too slow to catch him now. The pump was turned off. The weather was turning colder as they entered the third week of October. He’d stopped feeding them soon after his return, to allow them time to adapt to the cold and get ready to go dormant for winter. He was gonna miss them.

Lyon watched him, wondering at his contemplative mood. The weather was pleasant, and the chill in the air made him feel refreshed. He gazed around, not really looking at anything in particular. He heard the faint drips as Gray took his hand from the water, so he faced him in case he finally wanted to talk.

“ _Have all the leaves changed yet?”_

Paying attention as he looked around again, Lyon had to admire what he saw. The trees in Gray’s yard were simply magnificent. “Yes. There are shades of reds, oranges, and yellows, with a bit of green here and there to break up the warmer colors. There’s very little on the ground yet. I suspect we’ll very soon be out here raking, though.”

Lyon had been purposely adding these subtle phrases in his conversations with him lately. ‘We’ will be raking, not ‘I’. He hoped Gray would understand and believe in his abilities to do things for himself. He looked at his face, and wondered at the puzzled and wary look he was giving.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“ _It’s nothing. Just... I’m having trouble...picturing them...the leaves...the colors... they just look so drab and muted in my head.”_

“Are you forgetting what colors look like?” Lyon asked, concerned.

“... _I don’t think so. Just... shades, I guess? Like, I can’t recall the exact red of Erza’s hair, or if the blue of Juvia’s is lighter or darker than Happy’s fur.”_

This wasn’t a totally unexpected development. Lyon had done his research over the last few months, and had heard of some people losing visual memories over time. But that usually took years. Still, forgetting certain shades of colors wasn’t the end of the world. He wondered if he still dreamt in color. Before he could ask, Gray changed the subject on him. He apparently had a lot on his mind today.

“ _It’ll be November soon...almost three months since I lost my powers.”_

Ah. So that’s what’s been bothering him.

“Gray, you know it’s only a matter of time before they break those seals. Your powers are still in you. You just have to be patient.”

Yeah. Like he hadn’t gotten that speech before.

_“... I feel cold.”_

“Yeah. I can feel it, too. There’s a cold front moving in tonight. Probably gonna rain this weekend.”

Gray shook his head, starting to look a little melancholy.

“ _You're not understanding me. I feel cold. As in my body is feeling the effects of it. It’s been so long since I’ve used my powers, I’m losing my resistance to it.”_

That felt like a kick in the gut. So that’s why he wanted to come out here. He must have been feeling signs of a growing sensitivity to the cold, and came out here to verify his theory.

Lyon had no idea what this meant. He had no experience at all when it came to a total loss of his powers. Would Gray have to acclimate again? Would he have to start all over, training as a novice? His memory’s been shaky. Would he start to forget his spells as well? No wonder he was so listless today. He was surprised when he started gesturing again.

“ _No point crying over it. Can’t control what happens. Just have to wait and see.”_

And there it was again. He seemed positive and accepting, not letting it bother him. But it was bothering him. That wasn’t acceptance.

It was resignation.

Just another thing he had no control over.

Now Lyon was in a mood. Talk about a downer of a day.

Slapping his hands on his thighs, Gray stood up, heading back inside. Lyon followed, about to say how sorry he was with what was happening, when the ding from the dryer went off. Gray got a sardonic look on his face.

“ _Want help with the laundry?”_

“What?”

“ _You think I hadn’t noticed? How everyone suddenly needs help with odd chores, from the blind mute, missing nearly half the sensation in his hands? Natsu came all the way down here the other day, to ask for help baiting a fish hook. His subtlety is appalling.”_

Lyon didn’t know how he should approach this topic. Was Gray upset? Did he feel patronized? He’d removed his sunglasses, sticking one of the temples down the neck of his shirt to let it hang there. He was now staring almost directly at his face, the slightly off-focused glance somewhat intimidating, with the discolored pupils and scars rimming the edges of the sockets. He jumped when he smiled.

“ _Relax. I’m not mad. I appreciate it. It helps, I think... So...laundry? If you want, I can match the socks,”_ he smirked.

Lyon laughed. Was he actually trying to make him feel better? If anything, that should be his job. But...he just pretty much admitted that what they’d been doing had made him feel a little better. Please, Lord, let this be genuine, and not a mood swing. And even if it was, let us enjoy it while it lasts.

“Forget that. You can fold the towels,” he joked back.

The morning was a bust, but the afternoon was looking brighter.

* * *

Later that evening, the team, having missed Gray and Lyon today, had come with takeout for dinner. Wendy had quickly found a spot right next to Gray. They’ve all noticed that Wendy had yet to make him flinch if she ever accidentally touched him.

Topics of conversation came and went. They’d just discussed the probability of going to see a show that Erza was dying to see, but she’d backtracked when she remembered present company, and suggested a musical instead. Gray, still not comfortable around large crowds, and Lyon, who was sure that Gray couldn’t yet handle that kind of stimulation, respectfully declined, but added that the rest should go ahead and enjoy a show. That, however, brought up another topic that had piqued Lyon’s interest for a while now.

“Gray, since we’ve been talking about music, I’ve been wondering. I found a violin in your closet. You never told me you played.”

“No way! You never told me, either! Did you guys know?” asked Lucy.

“This is the first I’ve heard of it. Gray, you’re holding out on us,” said Erza.

The chatter was picking up, his friends interested in this little secret tidbit of his life. Maybe they had gotten used to his lack of eye contact, that they hadn’t noticed his gaze turn inward. And maybe the pleasant evening had lowered their guard, causing them not to notice his reluctance to continue this topic. And maybe the novelty of the idea that he had musical talent made them forget that he had a tendency to keep things from his past in the past.

Wendy was the first to quiet down when she noticed he wasn’t responding to their enthusiasm. The others followed suit, one by one. This was what they dreaded all the time, now. His pulling away from them. His self isolation, even when he was surrounded by his closest friends. Lyon regretted that he’d brought up the topic. The awkward silence was broken very suddenly by a knock on the door, causing everyone to jump.

“It’s Master. I’ll get it,” said Natsu, having smelled his scent up the stone path.

Opening the door, he was ready to greet their guild master with a grin, until he saw his face.

“I need to speak with Gray, please. I’ve received news that concern him.”

Gray came to the door, followed by Lyon. He invited Master in, but was declined.

“I won’t stay long, I just came to tell you that I’d received word from Black Vox. Atticus Wolfstern Montagne, whom we knew as Arius, was found dead this morning in his hospital room. They don’t know cause of death, but they suspect he’d succumbed to magic deficiency syndrome. As soon as I heard, I thought you would want to know.”

If they thought they’d see relief, or gratitude, or even horror in his reaction, they were disappointed when all they saw was apathy. He just processed what he heard, nodded, and thanked his master for the news. Makarov, taken aback, looked at the rest of his children, who were just as confused.

“Gray, if you need anything—“

“ _I’m fine. Thank you for telling me.”_

After Lyon told Makarov what he’d said, Gray turned and went back to the table. Not used to such a blunt dismissal, Makarov could only quietly ask Lyon to try to get him to talk, and left. Gray reached the table, felt around for the cane he’d left there, and took it up, extending it out. He made to turn, but paused, leaned the cane down, and gestured.

_“I just picked it up on a whim one day. Thought I’d learn something new. Lost interest. It just sits in my closet, collecting dust. Sorry there’s not much of a story there. Thanks for coming by.”_

He took up his cane and returned to the living room, feeling his way towards the back door, when Natsu asked, “Hey, it’s okay now, right? That bastard’s gone now.”

Gray was stepping out the door when he paused long enough to mouth his next words for Natsu, “ _He’s not gone, Natsu. He’s still here... Always here_ ,” before going out into the backyard, shutting the door behind him.

* * *

**_Next chapter: Gray finds a creative outlet. This is one of my favorite chapters. I think you’ll really enjoy it._ **


	19. One Step Forward

_**I like the Kudos system, because I understand there are so many hinderances to giving reviews, but simply knowing your story is being enjoyed is such a great motivator to continue.** _

_**Anyway, enjoy another appearance by Asuka. She proves to be an important componant to Gray's healing throughout the story.** _

* * *

Lucy and Erza were eating breakfast at LaCroix's, the little cafe by Erza's favorite bakery. That is to say, the little cafe that was attached to Erza's favorite bakery. What she had neglected to tell her friends the first time they were to eat there was that this cafe served sandwich's, pastries, and desserts, along with other delicious wares, supplied by the bakery situated on the other side of the restaurant. Erza was ecstatic that she could enjoy a meal and her favorite cake at the same establishment now. Which was why she and Lucy made it a point to stop in at least once between missions.

They had just completed one yesterday, a simple caravan escort quest to a trade show in the next town over. During the mission, Natsu had developed a fascination with the clay artisans at the show. Specifically those that fired their clays to make sculptures and pottery. At some point during the show, one of the kilns had failed. Natsu was quick to step in to fire up the batch of clay that had already been half finished inside of it, saving the potters a great deal of time and effort in having to wait for the delicate clays to cool before removal to another kiln. In gratitude, some of them offered various samples of their wares. Natsu, fascinated by the idea of making his own creations, asked if he could take some clay instead. He was at that moment sitting in the guild, trying his hand at sculpting.

"Do you know what you're having, yet?" asked Lucy.

"The strawberry crepes, of course," Erza replied. Her standing order.

"Of course. Man, everything here looks so good. I wish I could just order everything."

"Why don't you?" Erza asked with a dreamy gleam in her eyes.

"Because I don't have a stomach like Natsu. If he saw that much food here, he'd probably challenge us to a food eating contest."

"We both know only Gray would accept that challenge."

Suddenly, her eyes widened. She slammed her hands on the table and stood, knocking her chair back.

"What's wrong?! " Lucy asked, instantly alert, her hands reaching for her keys.

"We've made a grave error. Something totally unforgivable!"

“What? What'd we do?" She asked, concerned.

"We've neglected to invite Gray for his rain check!"

Lucy instantly relaxed, then reran Erza's words in her mind. Her eyes widened as well. All those months ago, they were all supposed to come to this cafe together. Now here they were, enjoying this time of bonding in a place that had practically become a team tradition, and one pivotal member of their team had yet to join them here. Now Lucy felt awful.

"To be fair, I'm not sure how much Gray would enjoy coming out here. It's almost a coin toss most days of whether he's in the mood to socialize or not. He's still kinda sensitive about strangers seeing his disabilities, as well."

Erza responded, "There isn't much we can do about how strangers may perceive him, but his friends should be willing to go the extra mile to include him in things, even when he's in a poor spirit. He can't help his mood swings, and he shouldn't be punished socially because of them."

"You're right. So, should we go to his place real quick and invite him?"

"We'll have to do that at a later date. By the time we'd get back, the breakfast service would be over. But we can order some meals to go and eat with him at his home."

That idea would also allow them to see how he's been since he'd learned of the necromancer's death. Lyon had suggested allowing him a cool down period, so the team had taken that escort mission in the meantime. Placing and receiving their order for four meals to go, they gathered their things and headed for Gray's house.

After a ten minute walk, they found Lyon outside, watching as some people were delivering an ethernano powered furnace, to be installed later today. Due to Gray's powers, he'd never had use for one, opting to use the fire place if he ever had to entertain guests in the colder months. Now that Lyon knew of his predicament, as well as the fact that he had a strong dislike of fire now, he had ordered the furnace to be delivered and installed as soon as possible.

"Good morning, Lyon. What's all this?" asked Lucy.

Unsure if Gray would want his friends to know yet about his waning cold resistance, he simply said, "Just updating some of the appliances. What can I do for you?"

"We brought breakfast," Erza said, brandishing the bags enticingly, "We hope you two will join us. Is he up yet?" She asked, peering into the open front door.

His face fell, and he ushered them inside, closing the door behind them. Gray wasn't on the couch where he normally slept.  
"Where is he?" asked Lucy.

Lyon nodded his head towards the dining room. There he was, asleep at the table, his head resting on one of the throw pillows, which hid his crossed arms. A blanket that had been placed over him was slipping, threatening to reveal his bandage-clad body. He'd taken to sleeping there ever since hearing the news from Black Vox, as a new fear of being alone in the living room had developed. Lyon couldn't understand Gray's rationale that simply being one room removed from the site of his assault made so much of a difference. But it made sense to Gray, so that's all that mattered. Lyon had offered to sleep on the recliner so he'd be there with him, but Gray refused to allow Lyon to suffer discomfort over his phobias. Lyon had tried to persuade him otherwise, but his growing agitation reached its peak when he angrily threw a vase, shattering it against the wall.

At first Lyon was shocked, then concerned when he saw blood seeping through Gray's sleeve. He had pulled too hard at a graft in his arm, causing a small separation along an edge. Gray was too in shock to realize he was hurt, just staring off in disbelief at what had just occurred.

Lyon was quick to sit him down, pulling off his shirt to see the damage. Porlyusica was summoned, who fixed the damage while Lyon cleaned up the vase. Observing Gray's subdued state, Porlyusica advised that he be indulged for a few days.

So he'd left him with some pillows and blankets, thinking he'd sleep on the floor of the dining room, or maybe even on top of the table. He was shocked the next morning to find him as he is now. The floor, as Gray explained, was difficult to rise from, especially if he rolled over in his sleep and spent the night with too much pressure on his back. On top of the table was just out of the question, as it was too much like sleeping on a certain frame in a certain chamber.

As for sleeping in a chair at the table, it couldn't be all that restful, as Lyon had often checked on him throughout the night, finding him pacing or just sitting there, staring off into the darkness, tapping his fingers in conjunction with the ticking of the mantle clock. A consultation with Dr. Crenshaw left them with no answers about why the sedatives he took every night only worked about half the time. Just that his insomnia was somehow overriding the drugs, and upping the doses would be dangerous because of the fact that they did work sometimes. He'd eventually just slump over in exhaustion, at which point Lyon would place a pillow under his head and throw a blanket over him.

He hated to wake him up, as he'd had another late night last night. But it'd be good to get him to eat as well.

Placing his hand lightly on his shoulder, he quietly called, "Gray. It's time to wake up. C'mon. Erza and Lucy are here. You should get dressed. They brought breakfast. Let's go. It's getting late."

Gray stirred, raising his head and blinking his eyes a few times before settling on keeping them closed. They were too heavy to keep open, anyway. And what did it matter to him if it was late or early? With no light, it made no difference when he did anything these days. Those were his thoughts as he sat up. He allowed Lyon to take the pillow away, letting the blanket slide down to lay behind him in the chair. It's not like they'd never seen him in bandages before. Erza placed his food before him, strawberry crepes with powdered sugar and whipped cream, with a side of eggs and coffee. Smelling it, he went for the coffee first, downing the whole cup in a few gulps.

Neither girl commented on the fact that they could see the seals on his abdomen for the first time in a while. He either forgot about them (unlikely), just wasn't thinking about them, or didn't care. None of those options were encouraging.  
Everyone sat together to try to enjoy their meal, filling the room with idle talk about the escort mission, and lauding LaCroix's award winning white chocolate baguettes.

Gray ate about half his meal before he pushed it away. Erza was about to insist he finish it before she saw Lyon shaking his head. She kept her peace as Gray excused himself to get cleaned up.

"Be happy he ate as much as he did," Lyon began quietly as soon as Gray was out of earshot, "Try to remember that he's constantly struggling with nearly depleted magic stores. He's been feeling the effects of that really hard lately."  
As if seeing the ever looming seals weren't a good enough reminder of that.

"It must be difficult having such a major aspect of your life taken away like that, on top of everything else," said Lucy.  
"Has he made plans regarding training once he gets his powers back?" asked Erza.

"He's gotten to the point of believing that, even if the seals do ever get removed, he'd probably have to give up Maker Magic anyway," he replied.

"What? Why?" gasped Lucy.

"Because in the last few days, he's started to let doubts seep in. One of those being that it might be too late to restore his sight, even with magic"

"Oh, no! Is that true?"

"We're not sure. But the longer we wait, the stronger the possibility. And Maker Magic relies so much on sight... He's been pretty upset about it."

"That's an understandable fear, but he is not without hope. Porlyusica-san could always replicate him some new eyes," Erza said with confidence born from experience.

"Yeah, that's right! And until then, we should find ways to keep his skills sharp," enthused Lucy.

"That's a good idea. But how?" asked Lyon.

They took time to think about it, trying to figure out how to train a magical skill without the use of magic.  
It was while Erza was doodling swirls and peaks in her whipped cream and strawberry syrup that she come up with her idea.  
"Of course. He should do crafts!"

...

...

"What?"

"You know. Painting, sculpting, drawing. His magic is all about creation. In order to keep himself sharp, he needs to create!"

"That's... a really great idea, Erza," Lucy said, surprised.

Lyon was nodding. "It has merit. I think we should give it a try. If anything, it might also help lift his spirits to have something new to do."

"That's right. And I have just the thing to try. We just need Gray to come to the guild. Right now."

"Wait, it has to be at the guild? Right now?" asked Lyon.

"Of course. Why not? Is this not a good time?" asked Erza.

"Not for me, it isn't. The laborers are coming over soon to install the new...appliance. I've got to stay to direct them to the right location and assist in the installation. Can it wait until later?"

"I don't think so. We only have so long before Natsu fires up all the clay," said Erza.

"Clay?" asked Lyon.

"Yes. Gray is going to practice his molding magic by literally molding something. It's a perfect way to begin redeveloping rusty skills. And don't worry about coming along. Lucy's gotten pretty good at reading Gestures. We'll take him to the guild and bring him back safely. You can count on us." Erza replied.

A shrill whistle interrupted their plotting, and they turned to see a visibly irritated Gray in the doorway, lowering his fingers from his mouth. " _Do I get a say in my social calendar_?" he asked, annoyed.

"Of course you do," Lyon began, "We just thought you might enjoy getting outside the house today. And Erza was hoping having a creative outlet would help keep your other skills sharp."

" _By doing arts and crafts,_ " he added dubiously.

"It's good to work with your hands," said Erza.

" _Still blind. And half my hands are covered in scar tissue. That's what I feel when I touch things. Making candy dishes and pencil holders isn't going to help me mold Ice that I can't see or barely feel."_

"...You sound like you're giving up." Lucy said sadly.

He sighed, taking a seat and placing his cane on the table, as if they needed the emphasis of what he was saying. He rubbed his face with both hands, sparing a few extra seconds on his eyes, before putting his hands down and facing towards them again.

" _Was I ever in this battle to begin with? Because I'm fighting on so many fronts right now, I don't think I can deal with any more._ "

They thought he meant his struggles against depression, fear, pain, and everything else they've seen him go through. And they were partially right. But what he didn't want to elaborate on was his compulsion to please them. He was tired of scaring them, of taking his issues out on them, of constantly trying to "do better" so they wouldn't have to worry. It was like an unending performance, and all he wanted to do was bow out. Now they expected him to pretend he could actually do something about his nonexistent magic?

"We don't want to add to your burden. We just thought that maybe this would help lighten it a little. That maybe if you could do something that was even a little bit related to your powers, it might help you in other things. I don't know. We're pretty much making this up as we go. But I know you're not one to give up. We know you're going through things that we couldn't possibly understand. But we want to help you carry that burden. Please?" Lucy pleaded.

' _Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more,'_ he thought. But one thing Gray couldn't deny was that his friends did have his best interests at heart. Maybe he was letting too much of the negatives influence him. If they thought this would help, what's one more volley to take for them?

He nodded, stood up, and held out the shirt he'd had draped over his shoulder, waiting for Lyon to help him put it on.  
The girls smiled and cleaned up as he got ready to leave. Soon, donning his sunglasses and with cane in hand, they were on their way to the guild. Lyon had made sure they knew Gray was perfectly capable of finding his way there, and to not hover around him as he went.

* * *

-Guild Archives-

  
Pages flew as Levy read through the ancient tome, picking out every nuanced script through her gale force reading glasses. Freed arrived with a carafe of coffee and two mugs, setting them down away from their workspace, which was strewn with volumes and scrolls from all over. He peaked at the notes she'd taken from the last few books, before moving to his own notes attached to the large board they'd hung up for that purpose.

Prominently centered on that board was a highly defined photo of the seals, taken during the early days of Gray's stay in the hospital. Unlike now, the seals within the photo were still red, crusted with dried pus and scabbed, and swollen with infection. Both of them saw the benefits of acquiring a newer photo, one in which the runes were more notable without the distortions caused by lack of healing, but neither wanted to bother Gray about taking one.

Surrounding the photo were notes and charts, hand drawn sketches and other clues. There was so much information there, and that was part of the problem. How could they wade through all this knowledge without a single clue as to what any these symbols could mean, or even a place of origin. If they could just narrow that down...

But this was a demon language. No human, as far as they could discover, had ever been able to translate those symbols, let alone read them. The magic seal was its own problem. Though created by humans, its use was from long ago as well, and those who knew how to apply them were professional mages attached to high ranking military or noble officials. The seals were state secrets, guarded doggedly by those mages. Their methods were passed down orally, nothing written down to prevent the other sides from acquiring the seals for themselves. Even the languages that were worked into the Runes were obscure and forgotten.

Freed was certain that they'd find the solution to the magic seals long before the demon slayer seals, so their primary focus was on the former. Levy, however, was looking into one of the older history books pertaining to the age of demons again. She believed that if they couldn't find anything to help decipher the language, they could at least find references to the seal's uses, or allusions to past slayers or those whom they fought. Maybe something would just be slipped into the lore and legends that they could use. The tiniest fact could help.

"Anything of value in that one?" he asked as she closed the tome and removed her glasses, accepting the mug of coffee he offered.

"Just a few stories here and there that may or may not mention the seals being used. You know, there really aren't that many stories about demon slayers. You hear about dragon slayers from all over the age of dragons, but demon slayer tales are so few and far between. And I haven't found anything to suggest there being more than one in any given time. Dragon slayers have been known to partner up, but there's no stories of the same happening with demon slayers. If they're so rare, it's no wonder there's hardly anything written about them."

"Hmm. Sounds like a lonely existence."

"That's putting it mildly. Most of the stories tell about doomed destinies and burdens of sacred duties. But apparently they were really good at their jobs, for the demons to resort to coming up with that seal. I only found two references to a slayer seal, and it might not even be the right one. There's no description. The first one, of course, we've just mentioned, about the reasons behind it's creation. The other one tells about how a slayer used it on himself."

"That's very strange. Does it say why he did so?"

"No, just that it was for some greater good. It's all lofty praises about self-sacrifice and honoring one's duty and such. It's probably just a parable or something, but I'm bookmarking it. Maybe I'll find something that relates to it later."

"Well, I'm going to go over the board a bit before I add these notes you've written. We may have to rearrange some data again to find a proper place for them."

"Okay. I'll be starting on the batch of codexes that Hibiki-san sent over," she replied, standing to retrieve a sealed box from the next table over.

"Take a break first. I don't know if you've noticed, but it's morning already."

"Really?" she said, looking at the grandfather clock behind her, "Huh. So it is...I keep feeling like we're letting him down."  
Freed looked up from the notes, letting her continue.

"Everyday that passes without a solution is another day Gray has to live with those evil things on his body. I feel guilty having to take breaks, or having to sleep, or taking meals when I could be down here, searching for an answer that might not even exist. If those stupid runes weren't carved so deeply, this wouldn't even be a problem. Just cut the damned things out!"

"You know he'd never consent to that. Not after what happened to his guild mark. We can't force him to go through something like that again, even if we could minimize the pain, and have Wendy heal him right away. Without knowing what the runes mean, cutting it away in pieces could augment the seal in unexpected ways. And if we tried to remove it all at once, he'd most likely die from shock or bleed out before Wendy could do anything."

"I know! I just wish I had a better idea of what to look for!..You're right. A break would help. Maybe a nap, too? Make my brain more alert. Can you..?"

"I can handle the research for a while. Take some time. Gray's lasted this long. And he understands the complexity of those seals better than we do, I think. He'll not hold it against you to take a break once in a while," replied Freed.  
She nodded, giving a tired smile, and left.

* * *

They received the expected rounds of greetings as they entered, heading straight for their usual table. Happy greeted Gray as he hopped onto his shoulder, receiving a head pat in return. Natsu had a bucket of clay beside him, and was currently trying to make a sad excuse of a dragon. On the table were other failed attempts at art. Some were childish renditions of various animals or people, while others...no one could really tell.

"Hey guys! What's up, ice block? Check out my new hobby! I'm making my own action figures!"

Gray felt around the table, finding one of the abstract pieces, and knitted his brow as he tried to make out what it was he was holding. It was clay, lumpy and roundish, with long pieces hanging out like spider legs.

He turned his head towards Natsu and mouthed, " _What the hell is this, some kind of bug?"_

"What? Man, even if you can't see, I can't believe you can't tell Lucy from a bug!"

"What!? That's supposed to be me?!" cried Lucy.

"Well, duh! See? I even gave her big boo—"

"Lucy Kick!"

"There goes Natsu," commented Happy.

"Now then, let's get started," said Erza.

They settled down at the table, each of them taking some clay, because the girls may as well get into it themselves.  
Gray thought this was ridiculous. But he made an effort to make a simple cup. As he told them earlier, he had trouble feeling how well he was shaping it, and he almost smushed it all together to claim he was doing abstract art like Natsu. But then the back of his finger brushed against it. It was rather smooth and soft, pleasant feeling even. He recalled his O and M training, with how he now used the back and sides of his fingers to feel his surroundings all the time. He slowly and methodically felt around the bowl, perceiving any blemishes, smoothing them out. The texture of the clay was appealing, and the motions soothing. He started losing focus on the conversations around him, solely intent upon the figure in his hand.

He heard Natsu return, and he had a sudden inspiration as he set the cup down and got some more clay. Just as he began molding something else, he heard a happy squeal of "Gray-ni!" He had just enough time to turn around and catch the bundle of Asuka that just threw herself at him. With surprising grace, he used her momentum to swing her around and land her on his lap, gesturing, " _Good morning, Sprite."_

"Good morning. Whatcha doing? Can I play?" she asked, reaching for one of Natsu's oddities and squeezing it to globs. Erza kicked him to shut him up before he could make a sound of complaint, and he just grabbed some more clay and got back to his dragon.

"Good morning, everyone. What's all this," came Bisca's curious voice.

"We're making stuff!" said Asuka.

"I see. You got room for one more?"

"Sit right here, mommy!" Asuka said, pointing at the spot right next to her and Gray. She hesitated, knowing his anxieties about being too close to women. But Gray, sensing her hesitation, gave her a reassuring smile and a quick nod, so she sat at a comfortable distance and took some clay as well.

This went on for a while. Asuka had slid off Gray's lap so he had more room to work. She would periodically hold up her project for Gray to inspect, which he'd do so with the same fervor as he does with his Gesture Speak lessons. Mira came by to ask if they wanted drinks. He asked for some small knives and toothpicks, along with a small rolling pin. She smiled. "Coming right up!"

"Asuka, what are you making?" asked her mom.

"It's Happy!" she exclaimed proudly.

Happy hopped off Gray's shoulder for a closer look. Sure enough, she had two small balls stuck together like a snowman, with two pieces of clay on top that looked more like horns. Gray held his hand out, receiving the clay Happy, and smoothed some parts out, thinning the bottom ball a little to look more like Happy's body. Mira arrived with the requested items. He gave the rolling pin to Asuka, telling her, " _Don't forget the wings,"_ to which she excitedly got to work on. He took a toothpick and started adding finer details, such as facial features and texture. He handed it back, taking up his own project to continue, now that he had proper tools.

The atmosphere was filled with comments and suggestions, with sounds of laughter and snatches of chatter in the background. Amongst all the noise were Bisca's periodic compliments and praises. She'd reach out to pat Asuka's hair, or touch her knee, or clap and chuckle along with her daughter's enthusiasm. She was the very picture of the fun, supportive, there-for-you mom.

Gray just kept focusing on his work.

Lunch time came around. They'd been at this for hours. Natsu had given up on his dragon, and was now trying to make Happy's suggestion of a fish. The girls had put their attempts aside to watch, enjoying the show. They couldn't quite see what Gray, toothpick in his mouth and knife in hand, was making, as all they could perceive was a round object that he kept cupped in his hand. Most of the extra clay was cleared away for lunch, and as they ate, Gray kept working, taking bites of food only when prompted.

He started to slow down an hour later, and the girls could tell he was tiring. At one point, he'd closed his eyes, leaving them closed unless someone was talking to him.

Asuka had finished her Happy sculpture, allowing Gray to inspect it once more, not changing any of the major details she had contributed, since it was her project in the end. He gave his approval. It now rested out of the way, and Asuka continued to watch with the rest of the girls. They were polite enough to not get too up close, as they didn't want to stress him out with their proximity. They just sat, enjoying his own apparent joy.

Finally, he put his tools and project down, and leaned back, allowing Asuka the first look at the finished product. If the look of wonder in Asuka's and Bisca's eyes were any clue, it must have been a true piece of art.

"So? What'd you make?" Natsu asked.

Gray reached out and picked it up slightly, turning it around for them all to see. If only he could see their faces. They were stunned.

It was a baby dragon, it's sleepy eyes and muzzle peaking out of its half opened egg, one clawed hand reaching out as if to say "hi". The detail was amazing, from the tiny scales, to spots and veiny lines across the eggshell. It had a few rough spots, but they added to its charm. It was a thing of beauty.

' _His skills aren't rusty at all,'_ Erza thought in wonder.

He put it down and turned towards Asuka, gesturing, " _I made this for you. Sorry I missed your party. Happy Birthday."_

She was so excited she cried, crushing Gray in a hug. Bisca watched, her face beaming with a smile, her heart melting. Pulling away, Asuka asked, "Can I touch it?"

" _Not yet. Wait a bit. Okay_?"

He could feel her nod, and let her go as he reached for the dragon again, holding it up towards Natsu. He mouthed, " _Fire it up, Flame Brain."_

Natsu was equal parts excited and nervous.

"Are you sure?" he asked, taking the dragon tentatively.

" _Yes. With your heat, you can dry it out in minutes...Your powers can help create beautiful things, too_." he said, unknowingly saying something that Natsu hadn't even realized he'd wanted to hear.

' _My powers can create_?' Natsu thought.

Maybe that's why Natsu was so engrossed by the clay sculptors at the trade show.

"Heh! You got it. I'ma back up though. Gimme a minute." With that, he stood and was about to walk back a few steps, but grabbed onto the clay Happy as well. He held one in each hand as he activated his magic. They were glowing red as heat radiated. He backed up even more when he noticed a look of discomfort float across Gray's face for a second. He hid it well. A few minutes later, it was done, and he sat down, holding onto them until they cooled.

Natsu placed them down, saying they were ready. Gray gave Asuka a nudge, so she grabbed them both, smiling so excitedly.

  
"They're beautiful. Sweet girl, your Happy is amazing. You did such a good job," said Bisca. Turning to Gray, she added, "Thank you so much, Gray. We really enjoyed ourselves. Your work is stunning."

Gray had to put a little more effort in trying not to show his sudden bout of distress, and returned a smile he barely felt, before turning towards Asuka with a real smile now. " _Thank you for spending time with me. I hope you like your present."_

"It's my favorite present! Thank you!" she said, giving one last hug, which he was glad to return. He felt himself relax in her embrace. If only he could bottle up her joy to take home.

Everyone could tell he was starting to fade, so they got ready to walk him home. Before they could leave, Asuka stopped them one more time.

"Gray-ni, here. This is for you," she said as she placed the clay Happy in his hand, "because you made me a present. So I made you a present!"

He gave her a soft smile and patted her head in thanks. Leaving the guild, he tried to keep these happy feelings alive, but those dark thoughts started encroaching once more.

_'Not her.'_

* * *

_**I get you're having to suspend disbelief in order to see a blind man with limited fine motor skills skulpting mini figurines. Just chalk it up to a combination of over a decade of molding skills, paired with his incredible imagination, which is very much canon. I can picture him holding the image in his mind as he manipulates the clay, using touch alone to figure out where everything is. He's mastered visualization, is what I'm saying. So anyway, at least he's got a new hobby, now. It's very theraputic. And we'll be revisiting this a few more times throughout the story.** _

_**And Natsu gets a taste of what his powers can do that's not all about destruction and mayhem.** _

**_Next week: Gray's encounter with Bisca and Asuka this morning leaves his mind...conflicted._ **


	20. Two Steps Back

- _Rune Knights local branch station_ -

The updated map gave the Knights a clearer picture of what they were dealing with. Markers with victims’ names and times of death were scattered in a fairly predictable pattern. They weren’t in a perfectly straight line, as markers diverged in every direction between kills. But they still more or less headed east.

A new body was found, half eaten by scavengers, after a hiker was reported missing weeks ago, having only been found recently. Another one was found in his home, a recluse whom nobody noticed was missing until someone complained about the smell. If these were all the victims, then the average time between kills was around two to three days apart. How did more than 30 people die like this, and they still haven’t found one clue as to who’s responsible?

Juvia was going over the direction of travel, trying to see if she could help predict a possible location of the next attack. But even with a decent timeframe now, the randomness of the sporadic kill sites, coupled with the fact that the length of distance between each site also varied, made it impossible to guess the next move. Just as a side note, she did notice that the trail the killer was making seemed to be on course to intersect the mage prison Black Vox, where her beloved’s tormentor had been held until he died. She allowed herself to indulge in a small fantasy of the necromancer meeting such a gruesome end, before shaking her head at the idea. Fairy Tail Mages don’t wish such things upon their enemies.

”I think we need to send out search and recovery teams to that area,” Gajeel said, pointing towards the end of the trail, “If we’re right about the timeframe, there should be another victim already. We should also send some teams ahead along the path, to try to catch them before they kill again.”

“Agreed,” said DeWalt, “We also need to issue a press statement. We can’t keep denying this. People are starting to realize we're not dealing with a wild animal here. They also need to be told to stay alert. Maybe someone will see something.“

Juvia looked over at Panther Lily, but his attention was drawn towards the other end of the trail, near the beginning. His brow was knitted, and his eyes kept going back and forth between the first known kill site and a location further towards the northwest.

After Gajeel and DeWalt finished hashing out details for the next step, everyone broke away to do their assigned tasks, leaving just the three mages. When he was sure no one was within earshot, Gajeel said, “Whatcha got, Lily?”

He’d noticed Panther Lily’s interest, too.

“Take a look at the northwest, beyond the location of the first victim, about a distance equal to that which lies between two consecutive kill sites. Look where you end up.”

It didn’t take long for either of them to see what he was frowning about.

Hellebores was within the given space. 

The necromancer’s lair.

Juvia gasped. “Juvia also noticed that Black Vox also lies within the current end of the trail.”

“You think it’s a coincidence?” asked Lily.

”Hell no. This is way too convenient. All this crap started happening days after the necromancer incident, and the trail leads right to him? If it wasn’t for the bastard’s death, I’d be calling Black Vox up right now to set up an interrogation.”

“Do we tell DeWalt-san?” asked Juvia.

”Can’t keep this to ourselves. We’ll see what he wants to do with it. But master ought to know as well, just in case there’s trouble brewing.”

“It’s an open investigation,” reminded Lily.

”Like any of us care? After what he did to Fullbuster, if we find out that whack job is somehow involved in this case, I’m not taking any chances that he might have set this crap in motion to go after him again.”

Juvia wasn’t feeling so benevolent towards her enemies anymore.

* * *

- _That evening-_

“Where is he?” asked Erza as soon as Lyon let them in.

“He’s in the dining room. He's propped a chair against the door. I’m worried that if he needs help, he won’t be able to tell us,” he replied.  
  
“Why don’t you just knock it down?” asked Natsu.

“That might set him off even more. We can't risk it with his heart condition.”

“Just tell us what happened,” said Lucy.

”He seemed fine when you dropped him off, just tired. I gave him his meds and had him lie down. I'd even moved the couch into the dining room for him while he was gone. He didn’t seem to mind at all, even looked grateful. But not even an hour later, he fell off the couch in a panic, and tried to fight me off when I went to help him up. It took a while to calm him down. I’m sure he had a nightmare, but he wouldn’t tell me about it.”

“Has he said anything at all?” asked Lucy.

“He hasn’t so much as flicked me off all day. He just paces back and forth in agitation, sits at the table with his head down, or stumbles to the couch to nurse the headache I know he's trying to hide. He hasn’t eaten dinner, and he can’t take his meds until he does, or he’ll get sick. The last time I tried to bring him food is when I found the door barricaded.”

“He’s screaming right now,” Natsu informed, tensing up. 

If they listened carefully, they could hear the tale-tell sound of hissing and heavy exhales that they’ve come to recognize as his cry of distress.

!!!

“And now I smell blood. If you won’t break down that door, I will!”

“Blood!? Is it a lot?” Lucy asked as they approached the dining room.

“Not gonna let it be,” Natsu said as he reared back a punch.

“Wait!” Lucy said quietly, hoping Gray wouldn’t hear. “Lemme try something! I can send Loke in, just to see how he is. If he’s not in danger, then Loke can talk him down. I think he’d be willing to listen to him. Meanwhile—“ She paused, not sure if this next part wasn’t too much of a breach of Gray’s trust.

“Meanwhile?” demanded Natsu

“... I can call Gemini to tell us what’s going on.”

That sounded so wrong on so many levels, and she almost retracted that idea, but Natsu didn’t seem to understand the repercussions of such an act.  
  
“Do it. If anything, Loke can at least open the door.“

“Wait. I’m for sending in Loke, but using Gemini seems like crossing a very big line,” said Lyon.  
  
“We may have no choice. He’s getting worse. It would benefit him greatly if we could understand where this grief was coming from,” said Erza.

Lucy was so conflicted, but if it would help in the long run...  
  
“ _ **Open, Gate of the Lion: Leo!**_ “

“This is a somber gathering. Where’s Gray?”

Lucy explained everything, and Leo was grim when he answered, “You understand that Gemini will feel everything that Gray’s feeling right now. _Everything_. It’s your choice how to put us to the best use, but are you sure about this?”

“No, but what other choice is there? He’s really hurting right now, Leo.”

He mulled it over, trying to think of a better alternative, and came up with something.

“Instead of having Gemini out here, send them in with me. We won’t tell him they’re in there with us. If he won’t tell me what’s bothering him, I’ll get just the bare minimum from them, and I won’t have them hold his form for long. It’s still breaking some trust, but they’ll tell only me, and I won’t pry too deeply.”

That sounded like a reasonable compromise. Lyon asked them to wait until he’d gathered some food and Gray’s meds, as well as a first aid kit, before Leo disappeared through his gate, reappearing within the dining room. It wasn’t just a chair blocking the door. It was the whole set of chairs, stacked on top of the table. Whatever Gray was going through, he wasn’t planning on coming out anytime soon.

Gemini appeared next, floating next to Leo’s head, standing by.

Leo turned worried eyes onto Gray. He laid on the couch now, in a fetal position, both arms covering his head from view. He was shaking, crying, screaming still.

Leo whispered into Gemini’s ears to stay close but quiet. He rushed to Gray’s side, gently touching his shoulder to gain his attention.

"Gray?"

’ _It wasn’t HER, dammit! Why can’t I_ —

...

_‘I know it wasn’t...but it WAS...SHE was..._

...

‘ _NOT HER!..She would never have...have._..

’ **Done those things to her little boy**

...

‘ _Bisca...Bisca is nice...she’s a good mom...incredible mom...’_

**Unlike yours**

’ _SHUT UP!_

...

‘ _Not her, not her, not her..._

...

‘ _Bisca loves her baby..._

...

' _So did..._

...

' _I thought she did_

_..._

...' _IT WASN'T HER_!'

Gray just couldn’t reconcile the two. He knew. He KNEW. It wasn’t her. It was never her.

But it was.

It was her face he last saw, before she burned his eyes away. It was her voice that tormented his mind as she sliced into his flesh.

Over

and Over  
  
and Over.

Her hands that tore away his guild mark and tossed it aside.

'... _like garbage'..._

...‘ _And gave me water to slake my thirst_

...

‘ _Ran her...its..?...fingers through my hair_

_’Which I hated_

_’Every_

_'Single_

_’Time_!

...

’ _Her voice that sang our forgotten lullaby_  
  
...

‘ _Before she made me scream'_

...

 _ **Scream**_!

...

_**SCREAM!!!** _

“GRAY!”

He jerked up, desperately trying to rise, but falling to his knees on the floor, still screaming, still trapped in his self-imposed waking nightmare. Leo caught him from falling any further, but he fought against his hold, unable to escape his phantasms. His eyes were wide with terror, still red from crying. Leo grabbed him in a tight hug, pulling his head down, letting him scream into his neck. He tried to escape, but Leo was firm, calmly telling him it was alright.

”Gray, it’s okay. It’s me. I’m here. You don’t have to be scared anymore. I’ve got you. It’s okay. It’s over. Shhhh. It’s okay. I’ve got you...”

He continued his words, voice growing softer as Gray calmed down, unable to help that the others could no doubt hear through the barracaded door. There wasn't much he could do about their worries, though. Gray started crying again in earnest, and Leo let him, hugging him even tighter. Leo looked towards Gemini, who still sat silently beside them, waiting for instructions.

”Gray? Please, can you tell me what happened? What do you need?... C'mon, you can tell me.”

He just shook his head, unable to give voice or gesture to his fears, still wanting distance, disbelief, denial.

Anything but to face the truth of what happened.

Of who did it to him.

_NOT HER!_

Leo was at a loss. He needed to understand, but Gray...  
  
He looked once more to Gemini, who at the moment looked just as sad as he’d ever seen them. He had no choice. He nodded towards them, and they returned their own nods before taking Gray's form, light from their transformation noticeable to those outside through the cracks of the doorframe. They cringed in pain, trying not to breathe too loudly and give themselves away. They knew he was used to this constant ache, but _they_ weren’t. After a few minutes, they were able to focus on their task. They were exactly like the real one, from the blindness to the blood running down their right arm from having gouged out the tally marks again.

Loke hadn’t noticed those on the real Gray’s arm, but put that aside for the moment, continuing to caress the back of Gray’s head soothingly. Gemini understood what Leo needed from them, and started revealing, in the same silent voice that had been Gray’s for far too long, his secret pain.

And Leo cried along with him.

* * *

It was going on 11 o’clock when they heard Leo ever-so-quietly trying to move all the furniture away from the door. At last it opened, and he stepped out and closed the door to a mere crack behind him, so he could still tell if Gray stirred.  
  
He went to where they sat on the chairs and the ottoman, gathering his thoughts together, knowing they’d want to know everything.

”How is he?” asked Lucy.

“He’s asleep now. After a while, he calmed down enough to tell me absolutely nothing, but he seemed content to just have some company. I don’t know if he was in shock or just tired enough to be compliant, but after he cried himself out, he let me dress his wounds. He’d clawed out those tally marks again. He ate a little. Just some bread and a little bit of the soup. He took his meds and passed out soon after.“  
  
“So he didn’t tell you what was bothering him?” asked Erza.

He shook his head “no”.  
  
“What about Gemini?” asked Natsu.

At this he hesitated.  
  
“What? You know something,” said Lyon.

He looked him straight in the eyes and said, “I do. But it’s not for me to say. Not until he’s ready.”

“That’s bullshit!” Natsu hissed, “If you won’t tell, Lucy can just ask Gemini—“

“But she won’t. Because they know _why_ he can’t tell you, and if she asks them, they’ll tell her as such. We already betrayed his trust. Now, Gray doesn’t realize that I know, so I’m inclined to keep him in the dark about that treachery. He needs to come to terms with...it...before he’ll be able to talk about it. If you force him, he’ll shut down. For now, just leave it be.”

Unable to argue, they had to concede to his wishes.

“Well, thank you, Loke. I’m so grateful you were able to be with him today,” said Lyon.

“Don’t feel bad about being left out. He wasn’t fond of my being there either at first. He just couldn’t get rid of me so easily. He would have come around.”

“Regardless, thank you.”

With one last look towards his master, he disappeared.

“I guess we should get going now,” said Lucy.

“Not yet. We need to do something about his harming himself again,” said Erza.

“You really think so? I mean, he only did that cuz he was really upset. We just have to keep that from happening again,” said Natsu.

“How would we do that? We have no idea what triggered him. He was agitated when he woke up, happy throughout the morning, and completely distraught all afternoon and into the evening. _He_ can’t control that. How can _we_?”

“What do you propose?” asked Lucy.

“I don’t know. Like I said, he’s fine one moment, and unpredictable the next. We just need to stay vigilant, and be ready to stop him if he tries anything again... Does he know where you keep his meds?”

“You’re not implying he’d try to...”

“At this point, we can’t take any chances. If he knows where they are now, you need to move them. We’re doing this for his own good.”

Once again, the others really couldn’t argue. Lyon nodded reluctantly, going into the kitchen to clear out the cabinet of all Gray’s prescriptions, taking them to store in the bedroom.

When he came out, they were getting ready to leave.

He walked them to the door, thanking them for coming so quickly, knowing they would have come no matter the time or reason.

Closing the door with a tired sign, he decided to go straight to bed. Clean up could wait until tomorrow.

Going back to the dining room, he opened the door wide again, looking in on Gray. He seemed peaceful enough. He left that door open, returning to the bedroom, setting an alarm to wake him before Gray probably would. With all the drama today, he was likely to forget that he was sleeping on the couch in the dining room now. He’d have to help him get oriented as soon as he woke up. He switched off the lamp and fell into a deep sleep minutes later.

From within the dining room, Gray opened his eyes, sighing as once again, his insomnia somehow overrode his nightly sedatives. Blinking away the angry tears, he just lay there, closing his eyes, trying to sleep in vain. Trying not to hold on to the feelings of hurt and betrayal.

He had heard everything.

* * *

**_You remember how hard core and adamant he was about denying that 'It' was his mother the whole time he was a prisoner? Not so easy now to hold onto those convictions when he's no longer in fight or flight mode.  
_ **

**_Next Chapter: We'll check in with Wendy, and Gray feels guilt over the burden he places on his friends. Also, he makes a new friend._ **


	21. Abandonment

“Please let me know if I make you uncomfortable. I’ll stop right away,” Wendy said as she slowly unwound the bandages from around his back.Gray was currently seated on the ottoman, as per usual during his weekly exams. Porlyusica had learned very quickly that having Wendy around for the hands-on treatments was an asset. For whatever reason, Gray had no problem with the presence of young girls, but anyone older than 16 drove him to fits of panic. Neither of them could figure out how he was able to differentiate the ages. It was just instinct.

He now wore only a pair of boxers, all bandages removed. Wendy had gotten used to seeing him like this, unlike the first time she was asked to assist. Before, the discomfort and sympathetic winces she couldn't help but to show as she looked upon every uncovered wound, all at once, had been just her first hurdle. As his healing progressed, those reactions soon gave way to bashfulness.

The poor child had been the same shade as Erza’s hair, it seemed, the first time her hand brushed against his naked back. She had apologized profusely, worried that her very gender would have caused him grief. But he had merely smirked, telling her that if she was still so boy-shy when the males started calling, he’d be willing to beat up any overly persistent suiters until she was ready. She’d giggled and relaxed. It was a lot easier to perform these exams when she didn’t flinch every time their skin met.

That was early on in his recovery. They’d had a good rapport since then. Which was why she was so concerned about the lack of his usual engagement with her. Sure, he’s been equal parts cheerful, sour, and everything in between when in her presence, but he'd never taken his dark moods out on her. He still wasn’t now, really. But he hadn't even tried to fake a smile since they'd arrived.  
  
Lyon had gone out to run some errands, as he usually did when they were there. Wendy had gotten better at both Gesture Speak and lip reading, so that made things easier. She did what Porlyusica told her to do, often times anticipating what she'd want, now that she’s been helping for so long.

Right now, kneeling behind him on the ottoman, she was softly touching various spots along the grafts on his back, trying to see how much pressure she had to apply before he could feel it, if at all. So far, so good. There weren’t too many necrotic spots this week, either. Pretty soon, they probably wouldn’t need to be dressed anymore.

His chest wound was another matter. Due to the damage to his circulatory system, they'd had to wait longer than normal for the wound bed to be ready for a complete set of grafts. That first procedure months ago had been to embed new blood vessels and establish better circulation, which was essential to graft survival. He'd had to put up with a silicon foam, fitted and stitched into the wound cavity, as a glorified place holder, and to keep the exposed muscles and blood vessels sterile and protected. So far, it seemed like prior estimations were spot on, and he'd be ready for new grafts within several weeks time.

Not that he was in any hurry, given the method in which his surgeons would have to harvest the necessary skin for that particular graft. Unlike his back, this wound went through the full thickness of his skin, and would require as much to repair. He was in no hurry to experience what would essentially be another flaying. Though normally done while awake, under local anesthetic, Wendy had assured him that he could be asleep for that if he so desired.

When she was done, Porlyusica asked about his state of mind, listening as Wendy translated.“Have the nightmares gotten better, worse, or about the same. I also need to know about frequencies.”

“ _No change_ ,” was all he had to say about that. Only they and Lyon knew about those, though no one knew what he dreamt.

“I can offer you the choice of taking you off the sleep aids. They don’t seem to work all that well anyway, and at the very least, you’d be able to wake up from your nightmares more easily. Or, I could give you something stronger, where you’d probably not dream at all. Even if you did, you wouldn’t remember doing so. But with how tired you are all the time, you wouldn’t be very functional at all.”

“ _Just leave it be. I’m used to it_.”

“Very well. How are you dealing with pain? Do the headaches still bother you?”

“ _When do they not? I ache all over now. Not all the time. Different places. Different times. Sometimes in areas that weren’t even injured, or have healed already_.”

“Sounds like phantom pains. It could be psychosomatic. Your mind’s telling you there’s pain, and your body feels it. I could up your pain meds, but they probably wouldn’t help... Let me guess, don’t bother, you’re used to it.”

He just shrugged. ‘ _They probably wouldn’t let me take them, anyway_ ,’ he thought sourly to himself. Was it unfair to think that? Did he care?

“Mr. Bradley tells me you’ve been very distracted lately.”

The last few times he’d visited, Gray was more interested in sleeping or daydreaming than learning how to count steps or pace distances. Instead, he just wanted to sleep, like he did right now. And it was only nine in the morning. He still had an appointment with Loren later this afternoon.

“Is it because you can’t withstand the cold anymore?”

He turned his head towards Wendy so quickly, he made her jump. She tried not to take her eyes away from his cold, sightless gaze. Even after all this time, it still intimidated her a little. Looking closely now, she noticed how dark the rings underneath his eyes had gotten. Maybe they could look for other ways to help him sleep.

“ _How? Did Lyon_ —“

“He didn’t say anything about that. I noticed that you had heat in here now. You never really used it before, so I just assumed...” she quickly explained.

He sighed and closed his eyes, massaging the bridge of his nose. This girl was just way too smart.

“ _I’ve lost my immunity to the cold... I’m losing every link to my magic._ ”

“So find a new one,” suggested Porlyusica.

Curiously, they both looked her way. Huffing and crossing her arms, grousing at having to give a pep talk of all things, she continued.  
  
“Have you ever actually seen me use magic? I mean just my own. It’s not something I’ve ever found any real interest in pursuing. In Edolas, no one really uses magic. All of our powers flow through magical items, talismans, tools, and the like. I wasn’t going to change how I did things just because I found myself in another world. All of my spells and potions come from the ethernano naturally imbued in the items I use, or they’re purchased from those who empower them. But I’m still a Fairy Tail wizard all the same. And so are you.”

She was glad he couldn’t see the pride in Wendy’s face. Like she needed the adoration of a little girl. She just tsk’d, but turned her head to her tool bag, hiding her small smile in turn. She turned back when she heard Wendy saying for Gray, “ _Thank you._ ” No snark, no sarcasm, no accusations of patronization. Nothing but a thank you. There was a reason she preferred him over other patients, besides the quiet.  
  
“All I did was talk. So let’s continue, shall we? I want to talk about alternatives to restoring your vision.”

...

“... _So you’ve given up on removing the seal as well_?”

Ignoring, at least for now, the implications that he’d just himself admitted to giving up, she dropped the final bombshell.

“I think we both know it’s too late to restore your natural sight through magical means.”

Wendy had denied it, of course. Ordinary magic had its limitations, but surely her Sky Maiden magic would be different. They’d discussed (argued) at length about the topic, Porlyusica pointing out that her Sky Maiden powers were only able to heal what was still damaged. Since Gray's body had already healed a great deal, leaving scar tissue and mended flesh, the scars would remain. Even in the eyes. Even Wendy couldn’t fix what had already been mended. Wendy insisted she still be able to try. Porlyusica told her that as a healer, she’d have to learn the difference between giving someone hope, and getting their hopes up. It’s been an ongoing discussion for weeks now.

Wendy might not be able to ‘magic’ him a new set of eyes, but they could still provide artificial ones, such as what Erza wore.

The only problem was that the option was still contingent upon removing the seals, as the artificial eyes were powered by the natural flow of ethernano through one’s body. Still, he’d one day be able to see again.

“... _If I got them, would I hallucinate_?”

“Do you do so now?” She asked, brow knitted in concern.

His head turned just a few degrees towards a space behind her, towards his bedroom. Only Wendy noticed his slight shudder as he replied, " _I still have flashbacks. Sometimes they’re so minor, no one even notices. And during Natsu and Lyon’s fight, I thought... Sometimes, when my mind wanders, I hear things from back then; fire crackling from a brazier, mocking whispers, humming_...”

“Humming?”

“... _Just a tune I used to know. If I get my sight back, will I start seeing things as well?”_

“Hallucinations have more to do with how your brain interprets the signals it receives, be they from your sensory organs or from whatever your own mind creates. Getting new eyes wouldn’t make too much of a difference in that. I can’t guarantee that suddenly receiving your vision wouldn’t stimulate the mind to form visual illusions, though. The mind works differently for everyone.”

“Gray-san, are you saying that you’re considering not getting your sight back?” Wendy asked sadly.

“ _I’m saying that if there’s a chance my brain wants to find fun new ways to screw with me, I’d rather go without_.”

That was disheartening. How bad was it, that he felt permanent blindness was an appealing alternative? She’d respect his wishes, for now. That didn’t mean she’d not try to drop encouragements towards regaining his sight now and then.

After a few more general questions, Wendy applied the usual balms and rewrapped the dressings. At least these experiences were getting her used to having to touch other people so intimately. She’d had no idea how far out of her comfort zone she’d have to go, in order to treat people without using magical means. And she thought treating Juvia’s fever while at the rain village was weird. That paled in comparison to touching someone who wasn’t a girl.

“I suppose that’s everything then. You may get dressed now,” said Porlyusica.

He pulled on a pair of pants as the ladies started cleaning up. He’d have a few hours to rest before Loren got there. He was looking forward to it. Feeling around for his shirt, Wendy noticed and picked it up for him.

“Here’s your shirt, Gray-san.” She said, holding it out.

“ _Thanks... Wanna help me out?”_

“Oh! Of course. Here you go.”

As she held it up for him to ease his arms in, a thought popped into her head. She didn’t know why she said it. It just slipped out. She couldn’t help herself.

“Why haven’t you stripped yet?”

Silence.

Utterly. Mortifying. Silence.

She’d never felt so embarrassed in her life.

Porlyusica raised an eyebrow.

Gray smirked and turned around, gesturing, “ _Wendy! So bold!_ ” before buttoning his shirt.

“It’s not like that! I wasn’t implying anything, I was just curious! It’s just that...”

“ _What, is there a betting pool going around on when I’ll start up again_?”

“No! I mean, I don’t think so. It’s just that, you used to do it all the time. And I know you don’t want anyone to see, but you’ve got all your other scars, and that never seemed to bother you before, and, and...I’m sorry. You don’t need to answer! It was just a stupi—“

He stopped her with a comforting hug, smiling into her hair. Had she gotten taller recently? Maybe just an inch. Maybe half an inch. Truth be told, he kinda needed this, too. He was starting to miss such intimacies of human contact when he wasn’t the one being comforted. He let go and pulled back so she could see him speak.

“ _Mostly because I don’t have the range of motion anymore. It hurts a little every time I dress or undress. And you’re right. I've never minded people seeing these_ ,” he said, placing his hand upon the large scar he’d gotten during his fight with Invel, “ _But these_ ,” pulling up to the ones along his arm, “ _weren’t from battle. There’s no valor behind them. They were inflicted upon me while I was vulnerable and helpless... They go far deeper than what’s on the outside._ ”

She understood, and stopped herself from tearing up, from feeling sorry for him, because she knew he'd hate that. She knew it took a lot for him to tell her all of that, and she was happy once again that he trusted her enough to be so open with her. She was almost glad she asked, now. Though still mortified.

“Thank you for telling me. But you’re wrong about the valor. Levy told me what the...what was required for the necromancer's spell to work. Why he did those awful things to you. You held out. You never gave him what he wanted. And in the end, you beat him. They look like battle scars to me. And you’re not vulnerable and helpless anymore. And whenever you feel you are, we’ll help you not feel that way. Okay?”

Now Gray was glad he couldn’t see the look she was likely giving him. He didn’t deserve it. Not the kind words. Not the belief. Not her admiration.

But...He couldn’t deny the spark of light and gratitude that he suddenly felt in his heart.

How could he deny her?  
  


* * *

It was just Natsu, Lucy, and Happy at their table today. Erza had been called to go on an S-Class quest with Laxus’ team this morning, since Freed wasn’t available. Something about setting up a sting to capture a mysterious criminal in the east.

Natsu was once again fiddling around with his clay dragon, trying to figure out how he could be so familiar with their forms, but not be able to reproduce one in clay.

“You know, you could just ask Gray to help you with that,” suggested Lucy.

“Ha! That’ll go over well. ‘Jeez, Flame Brain. You mean a blind guy’s better at that than you? What a loser.’ Right. Like I’m gonna put up with that grief.”

“I don’t think he’d say that. In fact, he might appreciate it if you asked. Lyon said he’s liked feeling useful lately”

“Yeah, until we screwed up again.”

“We don’t know if anything we did is what set him off.”

“Well something happened, and this crap was all we did yesterday!”

“Natsu, you know what he’s been like. Sometimes he just has these episodes. We have to accept that what happened last night will likely happen again. There’s not always going to be an obvious thing that causes them, and we can’t force him to live in a safe little bubble because we’re too afraid to set him off. We found something that he really enjoyed doing. It wouldn’t hurt to ask if he’d like to do it again sometime.”

“Yeah, I guess,” he said, still a little doubtful. But if Lucy thought so..., "He was doing so well, yesterday, too," he mumbled.

“I know... Even after all I just said, I keep thinking maybe we pushed too hard.”

He perked up when he smelled Lyon approaching the guild, but went back to his dragon when he didn’t smell Gray soon after. Lyon came in, heading straight to Mirajane to order lunch for Gray like he always did when he’s having his check-ups, and sat with the others to wait.

“Lyon, what’s wrong? You look pensive," observed Lucy.

“I just received a mission request from Obaabaa-sama. The mayor of Margret Town wants my guild to help out with the First Frost Festival this year.”

“First Frost? What’s that?” asked Natsu.

“It’s as the name implies. It’s a local festival we put on to herald in the first frost of the season. It's a celebration of the coming winter. I told my guild master that Gray still needed me, but she insisted that so did she. Apparently, that late summer we had is making winter come late as well. They need an ice wizard to help out. She even offered to set up housing for the both of us right on site, so Gray could stay with me. But even if we did go, I just don’t think Gray’s ready for that kind of excitement. And I’d be too busy to help him if I was also working at the festival.”

“When is the festival?” asked Lucy.

“It’s in three weeks.”

“Well, go ahead and go. We can stay with him.”

“We/You can?” Natsu and Lyon said simultaneously.

“Of course we can. You’ve been his primary caregiver all these weeks. We know it’s been hard on you. You ought to be able to take time off and go home. I know you must miss your friends. Natsu and I can take turns staying with him for a few days. I can even have Loke help. You won’t have to worry.”

“But do you think he’d agree to that arrangement?”

“He insisted you keep using his bed, even when he was scared to death at being alone. Do you really think he wouldn’t put up a fuss if he found out he was keeping you from official guild duties, or worse, keeping you from going home? That’d be the last thing he’d want. If there’s one thing he still has abundance of, it’s his self-sacrificial attitude.”

“No kidding,” Natsu muttered.

  
“Now I feel like I’d be taking advantage of him,” said Lyon.  
  
“Shoot. Don’t worry about it. He’ll be fine. His own guild mates oughta be taking up more of the slack, anyway. It ain’t like you’re suddenly springing it on him. He’s got weeks to get used to the idea,” reasoned Natsu.

“*Sigh*. You’re right. And I can’t stay here forever. At least we can see how he’d deal with someone else staying with him.”

* * *

**He’s abandoning you, now.**

‘ _Shut up! It’s not like that!’_

But he couldn’t get the thought out of his head that Lyon was finally tired of his bullshit and wanted to leave.  
  
‘ _But he wouldn’t do that. It's just that his guild needs him.’_

**More than you do?**

Did he really need him? It’s not like he didn’t have an entire guild that would bend over backwards to help him.

But did he want them to?

**You’re so pathetically helpless!**

These and more were the treacherous words that whispered in his mind as he stared Lyon down, considering how he should answer. He wanted him to stay. But he needed him to go, for his own sake. He couldn’t keep monopolizing him like he has been. Lyon deserved to take a break. He still cares. Plus, Natsu and Lucy would be here. And Loke. They were there with him in that chamber. They rescued him, kept him alive, seen him at his worst while at the hospital.

So why was the prospect of them staying with him in his own home so unnerving?

**Because they don’t trust you?**

**Because they'd already betrayed you?**

_‘SHUT UP!’_

_“You should go. It’s fine. I’ll be fine. Go help your guild_.”

“Really?” Lyon asked, stunned. That was way too easy.

“ _Did I stutter_?”

“I suppose, if you’re sure?”

“ _Loren will be here soon. I have to get ready. We’ll talk later._ ”

“Okay. Of course. Go get ready. I’ll clean up.”

As he left the dining room, Lyon gathered Gray’s leftovers (there’s always leftovers) to save for dinner. He couldn’t help but to wonder at how easy that was. Gray was so reasonable, and agreeable.

So why did he feel like he’d disappointed him?

* * *

  
Just a small decline,” said Lyon, “and there will be two wide steps down. Use your cane to feel the drop. That's it. Step down. And the next. Good. Do you need a break?”

Lyon was a part of today’s lessons, as he had to properly learn how to be a guide.

Gray shook his head no, even though he was obviously winded. He had to be careful not to let his heart beat too fast. If he had a sudden drop in blood pressure and passed out, his friends would have him in the infirmary under lock and key. Wouldn't be the first time. He'd like to avoid a repeat.

But he could handle a little downhill hike.

After giving them a few minutes for Gray to catch his breath anyway, Loren said, “You're both doing very well,” then to just Gray, he asked, “Where are you?”

This exercise again. Okay. He’d bite.

Relaxing as he focused on the sounds around him, the first thing he heard were the people. There were a few, scattered about. Approaching was a pair of joggers coming down the path opposite of theirs. One’s feet made heavier sounds as they hit the ground. Male, then? There was no guarantee the other was female, not with just sound as his guide, but Loren’s taught him it's okay to make guesses based on the most logical assumptions.

Next he heard children playing. Most of them within close proximity to each other. Too many voices to count. Sounded like fun. Very young voices. Too disorganized. Not a sport. A playground?

An older lady was passing by, walking a small dog. Older, because she walked with small, shuffling steps. He could hear a cane clacking with every other step. The dog was small, because of its frequent, hurried steps, and the height from the ground in which he heard it bark. Did it just bark at him? The little punk.

Birds in the distance. There was an echoing quality to their calls. What was distorting the sounds? He took a breath, tasted it, and smirked.

Water.

They were walking by the expansive koi pond in the Rainbow Sakura Gardens. He told as much to Loren and Lyon, going over all the details as to how he'd figured it out. Lyon was more than impressed, and Loren was pleased.

“That was amazing!” said Lyon.

“Yes. You’re so focused today. You were such a daydreamer last time I was here.”

“ _Picked up some motivation to get used to being alone_.”

“We use the term ‘Independent’.”

“ _Sure_.”

Sensing something amiss, he shared knowing looks with Lyon and asked him to run by the kiosk they'd passed a couple of paths back to get some water. Lyon knew it was just a way to get some privacy, but went anyway.

“Is something troubling you?”

“ _Just tired. Been a long week... Lyon’s leaving_.”

“For good?”  
  
“ _No. Just a few days. I know he’s coming back. And I know he still cares, and would go to Hell and back to help me get better. So would all of my friends_...”

“But you feel like a burden, and at the same time, you don’t want them to leave you.”

“ _Nutshell_ ”  
  
“If you and Lyon were to switch positions, would you think he’s a burden?”

“ _Hell no!”_  
  
“Then?”

“ _It’s not that simple”_

“It isn’t. But it doesn’t have to be complicated either. The most basic rule of kindness in all civilizations is to treat others how you'd want to be treated. What if we were more specific? What if you chose to perceive others how you'd want to be perceived? You just said you'd never see your friends as a burden. Are you able to believe they would feel the same for you?"

Gray thought that was still too simple. But maybe his brain just needed a break, because simple sounded nice.

“ _Okay_.”

But there was something else that’s been on his mind lately, something he hadn’t planned to bring up, since until recently, he’d never thought he’d need to. But with all the notions about permanent blindness, independence/abandonment, and everything else, he felt it was time to ask.

“ _I want to learn Braille.”_

Loren was taken aback by the sudden request. He wasn’t expecting that at all, as they’d discussed way in the beginning that learning Braille with his hands in the condition they were in would be very difficult. More than his physical injuries, there were also the mental traumas he’d been enduring. He would never admit to his charge that he’d originally meant to take each lesson at a slower pace, so as not to overwhelm him. But he’s proven to be a rather stubborn, determined student. He took to each lesson quickly, like his life depended on it. No wonder he was able to leave the hospital a month earlier than expected.

That determination was part of the reason Loren had decided to research ways around his physical issues. Now that Gray’s personally voiced his desire, that was proof enough that he was ready. His hands may be battered and scarred, but there was no reason why he couldn’t use the intact parts of them. The sides and backs of one’s fingers weren’t as touch-sensitive as the tips, but they could probably be conditioned to do the task just as well.

“I believe I may have some training aids and booklets in my briefcase back at your house. I can leave them with you before I go, maybe even start with the basics if we have time.”

“ _I'd appreciate that. Thank you.”_

Because there was only so much he could do to occupy his mind without visual stimulation. If he was on his own, being able to read would be a most desirable skill.

“You’re welcome. Lyon is coming back. Are you ready to go on to the next task?”

They continued a leisurely walk throughout the gardens, Lyon walking back a step this time, as Gray was learning what to do if he ever got disoriented while alone. It was a scary concept, but something he needed to be prepared for, if he was serious about being more independent.  
  
There were certain clues that could help him find his way. Paths were always good, if he could locate them. At certain times, the feeling of the sun’s rays could tell him which direction he was facing. Smells of food indicated the presence of people or restaurants. Sounds were especially helpful, as he’d proven at the koi pond.

He was walking behind Loren now, Lyon trailing several paces behind them both, swishing his cane from side to side, following Loren’s vocal cues and foot steps. The man had switched to a pair of tap shoes of all things, to help Gray focus on his steps alone. They were walking down a winding path, which offered a little more challenge than walking hand-to-arm with a guide on a straight path. Loren was mostly walking backwards, occasionally looking towards their direction of travel, in order to give Gray a heads up on the next turns or obstacles.

It was when he was looking away that Gray stopped.There was a scent in the air. A sudden breeze brought it to him, and it was like the last three months had been a dream, from which he’d just awoken to his nightmare.

The scent of rot and death was close by, pervading, encompassing.

His head was spinning, and he stumbled, dropping his cane and falling to his knees, trying to catch the breath that escaped from uncooperative lungs.

“Gray!” shouted Lyon.

Loren faced their way again, and immediately ran to them. Lyon had fallen to his knees before Gray, grabbing his shoulders, before he removed and pocketed his sunglasses, trying to see his face. It was bone white and terrified. He grabbed his face, tapping it lightly, trying to rouse him from his panic. Gray weakly tried to grab Lyon's wrist, but couldn’t hold on. His hands were trembling, and he tried to reach for his tally marks instead. Loren covered the marks with his own hand, refusing to budge when Gray tried to scratch at it instead. Lyon firmly started talking to him.

“Gray, what’s wrong? It’s okay. We’re right here. Nobody can hurt you. Can you hear me? Please, talk to us!”

A few people were starting to stare, some approaching to see what was wrong, but Loren politely waved them away.

“His eyes are fading. I think he’s trying to drift,” said Loren.

“Is he having a flashback? What’s causing this?” Lyon asked, looking around frantically, trying to see what could have possibly triggered this reaction.

“You’re not going to find it like that. Whatever caused this, it’s not something he saw.”

Of course. Then something he heard? They’ve all witnessed his reactions to certain sounds, like sizzling meat or cracking fires. There were no fire pits on this side of the gardens. Something else. But What???

The winds shifted again, and they smelled it as well. There was something dead nearby. Using the wind's direction to determine the source, Lyon helped Gray up and half-dragged him to a grassy patch under a shade tree, located far from the scent. He placed him down, leaning him against the tree, telling Loren to stay with him. It was probably just a dead animal, but considering what their last enemy was, he wasn’t taking any chances.

Lyon found the source quickly enough, and sighed in relief. It was a pair of animals, a cat and an owl. It looked like the cat had attacked the owl, and the owl died defending itself, taking the cat with him. There were blood, fur, and feathers everywhere. It was gruesome, but nothing morbid.  
  
He was about to rise when he heard a tiny sound. It was weak, delicate. Mournful. It was coming from behind the cat. Taking a kerchief from his pocket, he gently nudged aside the cat, finding the source of the noise.A tiny kitten lay there, smaller than his hand. It was white and grey, with black stripes throughout the grey parts. It was mewing pitifully, barely moving. It must have been freezing. It was bleeding, and one ear had been ripped off.  
  
The cat hadn’t been trying to eat the owl. She had died defending her kitten. Saddened, he ever so gently lifted it up, wrapping it in his kerchief before carrying it back to the others.

By the time he returned, Gray was responsive, drinking from one of the water bottles Lyon had bought before.He told them what he'd found, and what he believed had happened. Gray had an unreadable expression on his face. Neither man could tell what he was thinking. He then reached his hand out, motioning for the small bundle in Lyon’s hands.

He placed it gently in his palm. It was smaller than Gray’d expected. It cried pitifully, just barely a squeak, terrified. He softly stroked its head with the back of his finger. It quieted down, still trying to struggle, but gave up in the end. It laid there, breathing heavily, resigned to its fate.

Cold, injured, blind, alone.

Gray was heartbroken. This tiny life was so helpless. Lyon was sure it would die soon. But he couldn’t bring himself to let it go.

He undid the top button of his shirt, and tucked the bundle above his bandages, so it touched his skin, just under the side of his throat, to keep it warm. Perhaps his pulse would keep it calm. He’d read it works for babies. Pressing his hand over his shirt to keep it in place, he struggled to rise, accepting help from Lyon.

“Gray, it’s too young. It won’t survive.” He said sadly.

With one hand, but still understandable, he gestured, “ _Let me try._ ”

He had such a determined look in his reddened eyes, one Lyon hadn’t seen since his time in physical therapy, that he couldn’t say no. He looked to Loren, who nodded assuredly, smiling softly, confident that this was a good decision.

“Okay. We can stop by a vet or something. Maybe find a foster mom. We’ll figure it out. But...let me bury the mother first. And the owl. No point leaving them there.”

Gray stopped him. “ _Bury the owl, but bring the mom home. We’ll bury her in the backyard. So her child can visit her._ ”

“But the smell...are you sure?”

He nodded, gesturing, “ _She would never had hurt her own child.”_

Lyon didn’t understand why, but beyond anything else, that alone was enough reason for Gray.Lyon readily agreed.

It was the least they could do for a mother who’d sacrifice herself for her child.

* * *

**_Did the mute guy stutter? Nice one, Gray._ **

**_Someone found a kindred spirit._ **

**_I'm borrowing the First Frost Festival from my other story, "His Own Armor". If you haven't read it yet, and would like a nice little read to tide you over until the next chapter, check it out. It's a lot more lighthearted than this story, by far. It's just a fun little adventure outside of the usual chaos of missions, and tackles the question of why Gray really has that weird stripping habit. But that's more in the background of the rest of the plot. I'm sure you'd enjoy it._ **

**_Next Chapter: Gray has a run in with a belligerent, then has to deal with trust issues and misunderstandings. People should be careful with their secrets._ **


	22. Perceptions

“Will you stop worrying? The kit’ll be fine. Happy’ll keep Carla from messing up.”

“ _Happy’s the one who tried to feed her fish. She’s not even a month old. She could've choked on a bone._ "  
  
“But she didn't."

“ _Because Carla snatched it away. Which is why she's in charge.”_

“So what? You saying only girls can raise babies? That’s pretty old fashioned.”

“ _Let’s not forget whose baby she is.”_

“Okay, Mr. Possessive Icee-Pop. No one wants to get between you and your little fur baby... I think she’s good for you.”

“ _How do you mean?”_

“I don’t know. You just seem kinda...happier.”

ooooo

Natsu wasn’t wrong. In the last few weeks, Gray’s focus had been entirely taken by that tiny life. The vet they’d seen had determined that she was born premature, maybe two or three days ago, and had given her a small chance of survival, but that chance was enough for Gray. Following his recommendations, Gray kept the kitten with him at all times, keeping her warm. Very seldom had Lyon not seen him carrying her around in his arms, or even in his shirt pocket when he needed both hands to gesture.

Lyon had purchased formula and several small feeding bottles. She was a voracious eater. That was their first good sign. Gray had such a big smile of accomplishment that first time he was able to feed her properly, using touch and hearing alone to figure it out.Lyon had been terrified that she wouldn’t make it that first night, knowing how devastated Gray would feel. But she'd lived, and it was like hope had been reborn in his brother, just a little. He’d stayed up with her all night, but he wasn’t agitated or frustrated. He just slowly paced with her, or sat on his couch and fed her, or leaned back and cuddled her to his chest, petting her satisfied belly. It was sickeningly endearing.

He'd noticed Gray had still been a little down, so the smiles were nice to see again. When Lyon checked on them that first morning, the kitten was curled up in a ball on his pillow, sleeping right next to Gray’s face, who’d finally fallen asleep before dawn.

Lyon had felt they’d saved each other’s lives that day.

After that first week, when they were more confident in her survival, the team had come over to meet the newest member of the household. Upon fishing for a name, neither had one to give. Neither thought it strange. Both coming from the same province of the north eastern outskirts of greater Fiore, they both shared some of the regional customs. One of which was not to name a newborn who was in poor health. It was considered good luck to wait until survival was assured before bestowing a name. Neither of them believed in the superstition, but still kept the custom without much thought.

Everyone had spent the next hour tossing name ideas around. Gray kinda liked Chloe, Misty, Snowbell, and Tigger. Mochi was cute. He absolutely hated Frosty (no thanks, Natsu). But none of those names really encompassed what he felt about her.

He was sitting on his couch, a small smile of content on his face as he petted her chin while she slept. Happy was looking at her with complete adoration. She was too cute for words, and he was overcome by a desire to squeeze her like a plushie.

“She looks so cuuute!”

Gray just nodded.She started to wiggle in his grasp, causing him to grin again.

"Happy," Carla admonished, "you woke her up!"

As Happy was apologizing frantically, Wendy was sitting by Gray, also caught up by the kitten's cuteness, when she gasped.  
  
“Gray-san, her eyes are open!"

Gray brightened at that, and his grin was a full smile now, his eyes alight with childish excitement.

_Really?"_

Sure enough, two tiny black orbs were peering blearily at the world, before the kitten's nose twitched as she took in the scent she'd come to recognize as that of her source of warmth and comfort.

“ _I wish I could see it_ ," he said with a wistful look, just before he heard the sound of a camera shutter.

Turning his gaze slightly towards his left, he heard Lucy giggle as she lowered her communications lacrima.  
  
“This is a moment worth documenting," she answered his silent inquiry.

He returned a grateful nod, in that moment too full of mirth to recall the moments of apprehension and discomfort he'd been feeling in his team's presence the last several days. If ever there were any more incentives towards getting his sight back, that one picture was one of the better ones.

The kitten then started to squirm. She gave out a high pitched, squeaky cry, causing Gray to reach into his shirt pocket, pulling out a small bottle of formula. The girls all thought that was just too adorable. He was really taking this pet parent thing seriously. With practiced ease, he uncapped it with his teeth before offering it to her. Once more, he smiled in delight as she growled.

Everyone was excited about this milestone, as this was the first time she'd opened her eyes. Gray had the countenance of a proud father, it seemed, and was glad to be able to share this moment with his friends.

Lucy smiled. “She really makes you happy, doesn’t she?”

“Hey, that’s reminds me of when you hatched, Happy!”

“Yep! I’m my own namesake!” he said proudly.  
  
“ _Happy_...”

“You saying something, Ice Pop? Heh, get it? Cuz you're the kitten's pop now!"

More than one groan was heard, then...

“ _She...does makes me happy, but...there’s more_...”  
  
“Hey, no stealing names, now!”

“ _Joy...she gives me joy._ ”

“Joy? Isn’t that just happy, but more girly?”

He shook his head no. “ _No. Because even when I’m not happy, I can still have joy_.”

  
"That's still the same thing!"

“... _It's just...something my dad taught me, a long time ago. He said happiness depends on your circumstances. It's fleeting. But joy you can have always. Rich or poor, healthy or sick, happy or sad, joy doesn't depend on anything but your outlook on life, and on what hope you choose to hang on to. She's one of my joys... My little Joy."_

Lucy understood, and smiled broadly. “Joy is a beautiful name, Gray.”

“Well then, welcome home, Joy,” Lyon had said.

ooooo

“Do we really have to do it this way? Can’t you just follow my voice or something?”

“ _Then you’d never shut up. What’s the matter? Not secure enough in your masculinity to let another man hold your arm?”_

“You’re talking to a man with pink hair. Like I give a crap. I just like having my space, you know?”

Natsu and Gray were currently in the Rainbow Sakura Gardens again, walking along a trail that ran through a hedge maze, one of the park’s autumn attractions. Gray was tasked with trying to identify gaps between the hedges by noticing how the sounds bounced off the walls. Meanwhile, Natsu navigated through the maze itself. It was one of the more challenging exercises Gray and his guides had done, but having Natsu’s nose kinda took the fun out of it. He kept following the paths with the most scent trails.

They came to the end of the maze, and Gray let go of Natsu’s arm to take a drink from his water bottle. It was nearly empty. He was breathing a little quickly, but not too much. Natsu had learned from Lyon that some of these longer exercises could take a lot of mental energy, with the constant focus on his surroundings and his specialized movements. He couldn’t allow his mind to wander if he didn’t want to get lost.

“Hey, man. You need some more water? There’s a drink stand down the trail.”

“ _Coffee_?” It was mid November now, so something warm would be good, not that Natsu needed to know the reasons for his sudden preference for hot over cold brew.

Taking a whiff, Natsu could smell the unmistakable scent of roasted coffee beans.“Black?”

A nod.

“Be right back. Just stay here and take a break. I won’t be long.”

Gray waved him off and stuck his empty water bottle into his cargo pocket. He suddenly felt chilly, letting him know that some clouds must have blocked out the sun. Collapsing his cane to tuck under his arm, he blew into his hands to warm them up. He’d need to start wearing gloves soon, since he couldn’t keep them in his pockets like normal.  
  
He heard a couple of joggers approaching. He remained where he was, near the edge of the path, since it’d be easier for them to run around him than for him to anticipate where on the path they were likely to pass on.

He had just flipped the cover off his new tactile watch, feeling the watch face for the current time, when he felt a young woman crash right into him, knocking them both down. He had the wind knocked out of him, but also reacted in time to land on his side, so he wouldn’t injure his grafts.  
  
He lost his cane in the fall, and was too focused on trying to find it to worry about the man, the woman’s jogging partner, fussing at him for “blocking the path”.

“ _I was standing on the edge, you jackass_ ,” he said, knowing the guy probably couldn’t read lips anyway. The woman, at least, was apologizing for bumping into him.

The cane must have fallen out of his reach. Son of a bitch. He had just rolled to his knees to pick himself up, when he felt the woman’s hands around his arm, offering to help him up.He froze. It was one thing to bump into her briefly. His mind hadn’t time to even realize she was a woman in that short contact. It was a whole different matter when she wrapped her hands around his arm.

He pushed her hard, causing her to fall, “screaming” at her before scrambling away.

That pissed the man off.“What the hell is wrong with you, you piece of shit?! She was only trying to help!”  
  
“Honey, it’s alright, it was my fault!”

“The hell it was,” he cried as he reached down, picking Gray up by his jacket collar, “Bastard should pay attention to what’s going on around him!”

Gray grabbed at his wrists, so the man pulled one of his hands free and punched him in the face, knocking off his sunglasses, before grabbing his collar again.

"I'm talking to you! You better say something, dumbass!"

**_It came at him with more vigor. Just attack. Defend...He still looks human. It’s NOT!_ **

Gray was no longer in the gardens. He was in his home, in the living room, facing against the monsters that had attacked him all those months ago. His heart pounded so hard, like it was trying to fight it's way out of its cage. He tasted blood, and all he could hear was his own heavy breathing. But he was more pissed than scared this time. He wasn’t going to let these bastards take him again.

Still reeling from that blow, Gray brought his face forward, and opened his eyes. He stared with his cold, scarred, hollow eyes at the man’s suddenly shocked face.  
  
“The hell—“ the man exclaimed, right before he dropped, choking, to his knees, before finding himself flat on his back, wondering at the sudden pain in his jaw.

Gray had knocked the man’s hands off before he punched him in the throat, followed by a knee to his face on the way down.

“Oh my God!” the woman cried.

Gray backed away, hands up in a fighting stance, breathing erratically, eyes alert, scanning for danger they couldn’t even see.

The man tried to rise, only to be tripped onto his back once more.

“Back off, asshole!” yelled Natsu, coming in between them, taking his own fighting stance. He saw Gray’s cane half collapsed on the path. He scooped it up and straightened it, forcibly wrapping Gray’s hand around it, hoping to ground him.

“Gray! You alright? I’m here. I’ve got you.”

He blinked and gasped, hearing Natsu’s voice. His awareness returning, he felt Natsu’s hands on his face, a thumb wiping at the blood on his lip. He grabbed one of Natsu’s hands with his own, still trying to get his bearings, and nodded that he was okay.

Voice hoarse and raspy, the jogger cried, "Holy crap!” *cough, cough* “I didn’t know he was *cough* blind. I am so sorry—“

Natsu rounded in him. “So it makes a difference whether he can see or not?!”

He was slightly appeased when the jackass had to spit a wad of blood, along with what appeared to be a chipped off piece of a tooth, out before he could answer.

“He never said anything!”

So much for appeasement.

“He can’t freakin talk! His cane was right there! That wasn’t a dead give away?!”

“Look, I’m sorry! I never would have *cough* hit him if I knew he was handicapped!”

“Keep digging your grave deeper, you stupid piece of—“

He felt Gray’s hand on his shoulder, and turned around immediately.  
  
“ _Please stop. I just want to go._ ” He still breathed harshly, though not as badly as before. Natsu could feel his hand trembling.

“Okay,” was his soft reply, before he faced the man again, glaring. He said in a low, angered tone, “Listen well, moron. First off, you’re lucky I came when I did, or he would have kicked your ass. And secondly, if you ever so much as breathe the same air as him again, you’ll have all of Fairy Tail coming down on you with a fiery vengeance. You understand?”

Eyes big as saucers upon realizing he’d struck a Fairy Tail wizard, he nodded, backing away. Ever since the war with Alvarez, everyone in the whole kingdom knew you didn’t mess with Fairy Tail. His attention span really was crap if he'd just now noticed the guild mark on Natsu’s arm. The woman, who had picked up Gray’s sunglasses at some point, humbly offered them to Natsu, whispering another apology. He took it with more gentleness than he thought he had in him at that moment, and continued to glare as the couple hurried away.

He turned back to Gray, and was disheartened at the slight tremors still flowing through his body. Taking his free hand, he placed the glasses in them. Gray slid them on, closing his eyes as he brought his hand down. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, gripping the handle of his cane with both hands in a vice like grip. He bowed his head as he continued to breathe deeply, until the tremors slowly ceased.  
  
“You okay, now?” Natsu asked quietly.

He almost lied, but was too tired to do so. He shook his head no, and started walking to where he knew an exit to be, holding out a hand, knowing Natsu would guide it to his upper arm without needing to be told.

They walked in silence, until they reached the exit, and the relative privacy of the quiet downtown square. Knowing where they were, Gray released Natsu’s arm, choosing instead to brush the back of his knuckles against the nearby buildings and other obstacles. The different textures were a nice distraction, and the slow pace made for a more meditative walk to his house.

“Look, I’m sorry that happened. I shouldn’t have left you there.”

He got no reply.

“Gray. Talk to me. What happened back there? Not what I saw. You were somewhere else. Who were you fighting?”

This time, Natsu gave him time to collect his thoughts. Nearing the street that would take them to Gray’s neighborhood, he made that turn, before he spoke.

“ _I was being attacked, just as before, inside my house. It was the same creature. Except the illusion was real flesh and blood, and I was ready to put it down without a second thought... I wanted to kill that guy, Natsu. If you hadn't shown up...”_

Natsu wished he could reassure him, that he could tell him that he’d never do such a thing. If he was the old Gray, he would be quick to do just that. But this wasn’t the old Gray, and after what happened today, Natsu wasn’t sure what he could believe about him anymore.

* * *

  
Gray spent the rest of the afternoon in the dining room with Joy, taking solace in her peaceful slumber as he stroked her fur, or the small satisfaction he felt every time she ate just a little bit more than in her previous feeding. He fell asleep sitting up at one point, the kitten curled on his lap, but jerked awake twenty minutes later, panicking at the nightmare he’d just had, a re-enactment of today’s encounter, but this time without Natsu’s intervention. He almost screamed at the illusionary blood he felt on his hands, until he felt Joy still in his lap. He calmed down instantly, remembering where he was. When he was.

Natsu saw, but said nothing, knowing Gray wouldn’t want to be coddled. He told Happy to let him be, that he would explain later. Carla was concerned as well, but decided she would take her concerns to Wendy later on.

Lucy came around dinner time, bringing some food Mira had made for them. When she saw the bruising along Gray's chin, her shock quickly gave way to concern when she saw Natsu shake his head, slowly mouthing a " _tell you later_ " to her.

They ate in a strained peace, Natsu trying to keep a happy atmosphere by making continuous small talk about the most inane things. Gray just sat there, eating solemnly. For some reason, those mysterious pains that plagued him most days were really flaring up tonight. Those which Porlyusica had called “psycho somatic".

 _‘My brain decided my actual injuries needed backup, did it?_ ’ he thought irritably.  
  
Joy‘s mewing gave him the excuse he needed to push his food away and return to his couch, where he gently picked her up and cradled her as he sat. Reaching for the small feeding bottle in his shirt pocket, he removed the cap and fed her with practiced ease.This was the first time he’s smiled since Lucy got there, so she wouldn't fret over him not finishing his food.

Leaving Joy with Carla after dinner was over, Gray went to the bathroom to clean up. Loke had been summoned, and as they waited, Natsu quietly told them what had happened that morning. He didn’t know why he was so surprised that Lucy was more angry than Loke, who was certainly mad in his own right. That jerk had deserved a beat down, alright.  
  
Both of them were more worried over this new development, however. Would Gray become a danger to himself and others? He’d said so himself, that he would have killed that man, if Natsu hadn’t stopped him. Before they could continue, Natsu told them to play it cool, as he could hear Gray was just about done.

Everyone settled down to their own affairs after Loke had finished changing Gray’s dressings. Natsu and Happy had previously left to walk Carla home, Natsu subtly trying to avoid having to see the reminders of those vicious burns, and would return in the morning. He knew Loke was strong enough to keep Lucy safe. And now he felt guilty that the thought had ever crossed his mind, that she would even need protection, from Gray of all people.

Gray sat in his chair, cuddling Joy to his near-naked chest, while idly skimming over some Braille practice cards. Lucy was seated at his writing desk, working on another chapter of her manuscript. Gray was right about the quiet and lack of distractions. Lucy’s found herself here often enough over the last several weeks, sneaking away whenever Natsu and Happy were feeling especially trespassy.

Loke was reading over her shoulder, about to suggest that her story needed more romance, when Gray suddenly placed his Braille cards on the side table and stood up. Placing Joy in a cloth-lined basket he kept on the ottoman, he then walked around to lean forward against the back of his chair, as he often did after putting pressure on his back for too long. He knew he should have moved earlier, but those phantom pains were kicking his ass tonight. Maybe that fall and fight earlier had jarred something. He didn’t know.

“You alright there, Gray?” asked Loke.

“ _Just trying to loosen up. Is it time for my meds yet?_ ”

Sharing a worried look with Loke, Lucy answered, “You had your usual dose after dinner. Are they wearing off already?”

Shaking his head, he replied, “ _This is something different. Been feeling pain all day, but the medicines don’t do crap for it. Was hoping the sleep aid would take the edge off at least_.” He didn’t mean to be so forthright, not wanting them to worry. Guess the pain was talking.

Standing up straight, he took both Joy and his cane off the ottoman, and headed for the dining room. He was too achey to pace around, and sitting still hadn't help at all. Maybe lying down for a while would make him feel better.

He hadn’t planned on falling asleep.

ooooo

_Stilled by utter fear, he could only tremble as his hands and feet were locked in place by his own inability to remember how to move._

_His breath came out in pants now, and it didn’t feel strange for him to let out a startled sob as the creature spoke, barely above a whisper in his ear._

_“If only you weren’t such a poor son, dear boy.”_

_Not Her! Not HER!_

_“Heh, heh, heh. Such a naughty boy. Your friends don’t care. They will leave you. Just as your father did. Just as your mother. Your teacher. Your brother. All of them will leave. Because you are such a naughty boy. Such a dangerous, unpredictable, undeserving boy.”_

_It removed a hand from his eyes, covering both with the one remaining, as the first came down to his throat. It hooked its hand into a claw, squeezing his throat as if trying to grip his esophagus through his skin._   
_He still couldn’t move, couldn’t defend against this new attack. Never able to defend. Forced to take it. Forced to accept._   
  
_Powerless._

_Restrained._

_No control._

_“But I will never leave you. No. You will always have me. Now that I am gone, I can always be here.”_

_He was panicking, unable to breathe, gasping, choking, mouth agape._

_“We will always be together, you and I. I will never abandon you. I will always be a part of you.”_

_The necromancer grabbed his face, his fingers brushing across his lips. Gray bit down, but It squeezed his throat harder, and the necromancer dug his fingers in, taking a firm hold of his lower jaw, forcing his tongue down, preventing speech._   
  
_Gray felt beyond vulnerable. What was happening? Why could he never fight back?!_

_“You can never be rid of me. I will always be inside you.”_

_His eyes grew wide in horror and disbelief, but he could do nothing as the taste of decay and ash suddenly filled his mouth._   
_The necromancer rapidly decomposed into a liquified ichor, forcing its way into his mouth, down his throat, into his very being. His screams could hardly make it passed the mass of writhing darkness driving itself deeper._   
  
_‘No!’_

_..._   
  
_‘Please NO!’_

_..._   
  
_‘Get OUT!’_

_..._

_‘GET OUT!!!’_

ooooo

He screamed into his pillow as he woke, keeping his face buried in the fabric to hide his panicked visage, and to catch the harsh gasps that forced their way from his lungs.  
  
He cried fat tears, shuddering violently, sobbing uncontrollably. He thought he could still taste rot in his mouth, and wanted to vomit, but held himself back, trying to regain control.

‘ _It wasn’t real. Just a nightmare. He’s not here. He’s NOT’_

**He IS.**

**He’s still here.**

**Always here.**

No one heard him. No one ever did. Surrounded by these ever encroaching demons, he was always alone. He almost went into another panic, when he was distracted by the insistent nudging of something soft against his face.

Not completely alone. He caught his breath, composing himself, pushing the terror away. After a few minutes, he gave a sad, hard-fought-for smile, before reaching out a trembling hand to caress Joy's tiny head with a lone finger, thinking, _‘I owe you, my little Joy._ ’ Feeling her nibble at his finger, his smile widened. ‘ _Somebody’s hungry._ ’

He rolled over and got up stiffly, picking Joy up and shuffling over to the table, where he kept a small cooler full of pre-mixed bottles of kitten formula. He sat at the table, offering her next feeding. He relaxed as the pleased growls his tiny fur baby was making filled the silence.

He concentrated on that silence now. It must be late. He'd taken his watch off to shower, and left it in a small tray on a table by the couch. How long had he slept? The usual pains, old and new, still remained, though a small headache was starting to develop. Surely it was almost time for his meds by now.

He listened intently, trying to hear what his surroundings could tell him. There was no sound of an electric current flowing over head. So the lights were off in this room. That explained why Lucy and Loke hadn’t seemed to notice he was awake yet. They would have asked if he needed anything by now.  
  
He focused his ears towards the door. There was movement out in the living room. By the muffled sounds, the door was only slightly ajar. That also explained the lack of their attention. But they were both still awake. Great. When the little one was done eating, maybe he could finally get something to at least make this headache go away.

There was a murmuring. They were talking quietly, trying not to wake him. That was silly. They’d have to wake him eventually, right? He perked his head up when he heard his name. Of course they were talking about him. What else was there to talk about these days, but their crippled friend who was slowing losing his mind?

He listened in on their conversation, feeling no guilt at his eavesdropping. It’s their own fault for talking about him behind his back, after all.

What he heard left him shattered.

ooooo

“I still think we should tell Master and Porlyusica about this. He’s not normal,” said Lucy.

“What is normal for him now? He hasn’t been the same since he was taken,” replied Loke.

“But this is different. He’s starting to get violent. Natsu said he was going to kill a man. Plus, he never asks for his meds before it’s time!”

“He was only defending himself. And he did say his pain’s been getting worse.”

“No, he said the meds weren’t cutting it anymore, and he was asking for another dose.”

“He only asked if it was _time_ for another dose. Remember? Because he’s been in pain all day?

“That’s what he said...”  
  
“What are you thinking, Lucy?”

“Loke, you don’t think he’d lie about his pain to get more meds, do you?”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Is it?"

...

...

“After everything that’s happened to him, could you blame him?”

“I’m not gonna let him add to the problem!”

“But this is Gray we’re talking about. You just said he’s never asked for his meds before. Maybe he’s telling the truth, and he really is feeling bad enough to swallow his pride and ask for another dose.”

“But that’s the problem. He isn’t Gray anymore!”

* _ **CRASH**_ *

The stained glass lamp shattering against the fireplace shocked them into action. They stood from where they were seated in the two remaining chairs in the living room, turning around to face the possible intruder.

Behind them, standing by the now lamp-free writing desk, stood Gray, fists clenched and eyes narrowed in white-hot fury. He breathed in a carefully controlled manner, and his whole body trembled.

Lucy covered her mouth in horror, knowing that Gray had overheard. Looking at the hurt and betrayal on his face, she wondered how she could have ever allowed such awful thoughts to enter her mind. She took a step forward, words of apology on her tongue when he gestured and mouthed, making sure he was understood perfectly.

“ _Get out_.”

“Gray, please—“ she began.

“ _Get! Out!_ ”  
  
“Listen, we never meant—“

“ _For me to hear that?! No shit! You all have a poor habit of saying things that ‘Gray’s not supposed to hear’! I’m_ **blind** _and_ **mute** _! I’m_ **NOT DEAF** _!!”_

Lucy was grief stricken and confused, but Loke knitted his brow, trying to think on what he’d meant. What else had he overheard? Then he recalled that incident from almost a month ago.

“You knew about Gemini,” he said softly, feeling ill at the prospect that Gray’s been harboring these feelings of betrayal all this time.

“ _They’re not the only secret I knew about. That night, you asked me what was wrong. I wasn’t ready for you to know! I just needed you there. I never asked for more! But you couldn't leave it alone. Instead of respecting my privacy, you tore it down, and stole everything I needed to stay dead! You betrayed my trust, and then in the same breath, you showed just how little of yours I had._

“ _I’m not a damned junkie, looking for fix! I was **TORTURED**! Did that little nugget escape your memory? Cuz I’ve been putting up with painful reminders, this side of debilitating, ever since I woke up in that damned chamber. The drugs barely help me function most days. If anyone deserves a f*cking high, it’s me. But I was never tempted, because I know the damned costs! I was offered stronger doses. I refused, because I knew they wouldn’t do shit, and I didn’t want to go through the hell of withdrawal again! But my best friends thought they needed to hide my meds from me?! I can’t find my f*cking shoes half the time, but you all thought it would be awesome to hide shit from the **blind** man!”_

“Gray, listen to me. I never told anyone what Gemini told me,” said Loke.

“ _Aren’t you a f*cking hero? It was never yours to tell!”_  
  
“Gray, please, we never meant to hurt you,” said Lucy.

“ _Why the hell are you still calling me that? Did you forget already? I’m not Gray anymore_."

Lucy couldn’t stop herself from crying. She couldn’t believe they’d done this to him.

Gray deflated, taking on a defeated look. He turned his face away from them, closing his eyes, feeling his tears trying to betray him, as well.  
  
“ _Please...just go_.”

“Gray, we can’t just...we don’t want you to hurt yourself,” Lucy cried.

Letting out a cynical hissing sound, what they could tell was a disbelieving “laugh”, he opened his eyes again, but didn’t turn to face them. Just staring off, he replied, “ _I’m not the one I want to hurt right now... I don’t want to feel this way... And I hate myself...for not being strong enough not to... But I really need you to go, now. Please... PLEASE!"_

“But...w..what about your meds?...your next dose...?”

“ _I don’t want them. I want nothing from you. Go_.”

Lucy tried to protest again, but Loke grabbed her, shaking his head.Gray stood stock still, fully aware of every movement they made. Lucy was too ashamed to walk close enough to his desk, which he still stood by, to gather her things. She did, however, go into the bedroom to measure out his next dose of meds, leaving them on the tray on top of the ottoman, along with some water.

“In case you change your mind,” she meekly said. He made no sign of acknowledgement.

They quietly left the house, locking the door behind them.

* * *

  
 _ **Well that was intense. Do you think he over reacted? If you take into account all the crap that's been piling up since the Gemini incident: such as the doubts and frustrations he would have felt after overhearing them that night; as well as his feelings of abandonment warring with the side of him that wanted his friends to have more freedom from his burdens; and finally the fear/anger/guilt he felt over that violent encounter, and his friends' reactions to it; then I think the sense of betrayal at his friends' words would have been an appropriate final straw. He depends on them for everything right now, and having them voice such doubts in him would have left him lost. He was bound to boil over**_ _eventually.  
_

 _**Next Chapter: His delusions become** _ **_life threatening, and_ _everyone learns a harsh lesson in trust._ **


	23. Phantasms

That night, the demons finally came calling. Echoes of a return to suffering and retribution could be heard, as he found himself unable to escape. There was no one else there to pull him away from the growing maw that threatened to devour him.

He sat, huddled in a corner of the dining room, finding little comfort in Joy’s presence like he had before. How pathetic was he, that he relied on her so much now?

**They don’t trust you.**

**You’re a Burden.**

**Useless**

**Dangerous**

**A Killer**

There was no haven anymore. Lyon had left him. Natsu couldn’t stop him. Lucy and Loke didn’t trust him. Erza thought he wanted to kill himself. His home offered no security. His own body was a prison. For reasons he couldn’t understand, he couldn’t navigate. His senses were off, and he couldn’t orient himself like he’d been taught. He only knew that he needed to get out of that house.

The nightmares were real. Arius was there, standing at the bedroom door. Always there. The flesh zombies were looming over him, waiting for him to resist. But the worse was his mother’s voice. That discordant tune playing over and over, like he could hear it in the background, and not just in his head.

Phantom fingers combed through his hair, sending shivers down his spine. The taste of salt on his lips, and the scents of rot and death that weren't really there, or were they?

He had to get out.

Reaching for the baby blanket he sometimes used to swaddle Joy, he did so now, cradling her close to his chest. He wasn’t going to leave her here with those demons.  
  
He couldn’t tell where he was, nor where he’d left his cane, but if he stayed by the wall, he could walk along side it until he came to a door. One of those doors led to the backyard. There was safety there. He’d gone there quite often in the past few months, as an escape from the constant noise of talkative friends, or to get some solitude when even just Lyon was one person too many.

He leaned heavily against the wall, in too much pain, too tired, too disoriented to support his own weight. The increase in pain was so gradual, and his power of reasoning so skewed, he hadn't yet made the connection between them and his missed doses. Joy purred contently, innocently oblivious to the dangers they were in.  
  
He made his way around each corner, keeping a wary eye on his observers, not even acknowledging the fact that, as a blind man, he shouldn’t have seen these things in the first place. But they continued to stare at him as he passed, Arius’ face still grinning that mirthless, menacing grin, those deep set eyes daring him to break eye contact. It was just those specters amid a background of utter darkness.

His heart beat a painful cadence, and his body was slick with sweat. He could hardly draw breath as he neared the door. He wished he could just drift away, but he had to stay, to keep Joy safe. If he was so weak that he couldn’t even protect her...

He finally reached the door, taking a few confused moments to unlatch the locks that he’d never had trouble with before. He threw the door open and stumbled outside, passed the chairs on the low deck, barely hearing the bamboo wind chimes that sounded as he brushed against them, and falling down onto the grass and smooth gravel that covered the wide open space.

It was cold, colder than he’d felt in so long. He tried desperately to catch his breath, which misted about him heavily before dissipating. He shivered uncontrollably, curling around the bundle in his arms, trying to keep her warm.

What was he thinking? Kittens her age can’t regulate their body temperatures. She could die out here! But it was dangerous in there! Alone against the demons, they didn’t stand a chance! He was trapped once more, in an unbearable conundrum.Face the cold, or his demons.

He laughed bitterly. How ironic, the two things he was once so fearless against, his powers allowing command over both once upon a time. His mind was so fragmented now, so confused, so unreliable. He couldn’t trust his own judgment, let alone his friends.

What a sad state of affairs, to have nothing in which he could trust. Everything was just building, wave upon wave of hurt, fears, lies, doubts, and betrayal, threatening to drown him.

It was too much to endure.

He screamed.

And kept screaming. Long and silent into the night.

...

...  


‘ _It’s warm_.’

* * *

Natsu was equal parts worried and enraged. Lucy had contacted him first thing this morning, minutes after dawn, and told him everything that’d happened last night.

The first thing he did was call on Wendy to meet him and Happy outside Fairy Hills. She and Carla were already there when he breezed past, not slowing down even as he greeted them. They stopped by Lucy’s place as well, who had once again summoned Loke. Now they all headed for Gray’s house together. If only Erza wasn't still on that mission for the Council. Gray would probably listen to her. Natsu was either going to yell some sense into him for tossing his friends aside, or berate himself and everyone else for screwing things up again. He’d have to hear Gray’s side of the story first.

He had a lingering sense that they should have been putting more consideration on his side of things from the beginning.

They reached his house, and he pounded at the door, demanding entry. He knew Gray could answer the door on his own, and that he probably hadn’t slept yet, so he had to be awake.

“Gray! It's us! Open the freakin door!"

No answer.

Lucy produced the house key and let them in. The house was in better condition than she’d expected it to be. She’d thought he would have taken his frustrations out on the furniture or something, but the only thing amiss was the still broken lamp pieces scattered on the hearth, now joined by the still-wet remnants of a shattered glass, and the over turned ottoman tray, his meds scattered on the floor. She was disheartened that he hadn’t changed his mind.

Natsu was about to head into the dining room when he noticed the back door was ajar. Peaking outside as he passed, he stopped cold, before bolting out the door.

“Crap!”

Gray was curled onto his side, lying partially on the grass, the rest of his body laying on the gravel path that meandered along the fenced-in yard. He tightly held a small blanket, bundled against his chest, and he didn’t move as Natsu called out to him. Was he breathing?

Natsu reached him just before Wendy, the others surrounding the three. Gray was cold to the touch, but to Natsu, that felt odd to him. He hadn’t noticed how Gray had gradually gotten warmer in the past few months. People were generally warm. But he remembered now that Gray had always been colder than other people, just like he himself was always warmer. But with everything else going on, he hadn’t realized that Gray’s body temperature had slowly but surely gotten closer to that of an ordinary person’s. He was used to everyone else having similar temperatures, so hadn't given it a second thought when Gray felt the same.

This was different. This was still warmer than his normally cold body temperature, but he looked cold! He wasn’t shivering, and that told Wendy something was wrong.  
  
“Help me roll him over!” she said authoritatively.

Natsu and Loke gently rolled him so that he rested on Lucy’s lap. Screw his fears against women. She wasn’t going to stand on the sidelines like before. This was all her fault! His hand fell free, and Lucy caught the bundle before it dropped. The blanket fell open, and Joy’s eyes blinked open in ire, as if she’d been rudely awakened. Lucy handed her over to Carla, and she and Happy took her inside to feed her and get her out of the cold November chill.

“I don’t see any injuries other than a few abrasions and bruises. But we’ve gotta get him warmed. The fact that he’s not shivering is bad. He’s not producing heat.”

“But freezing temperatures shouldn’t affect him like this,” said Loke.

“He’s lost his immunity to the cold. C’mom. We don’t have time.”

Too stunned at that revelation to ask anymore questions, Natsu carefully gathered him into his arms and carried him inside as Loke helped Lucy up.  
  
Natsu placed Gray on the couch, and Lucy covered him with the blanket that was already there before draping the comforter from the bed over him as well.

“Lucy, could you make a warm broth for later, please?”

“On it.”

“Natsu, I need you to gradually heat up the blankets, starting close to his current temperature, then raising it by about half a degree every twenty minutes. Try to keep it at that rate. A rapid rewarming would cause his blood flow to increase, and I want to make sure we don’t stress his heart and blood vessels too much. It’s better to play it safe.”

“Sure, no problem."He nodded his understanding, carefully flowing just the heat aspect of his magic through the blankets.

“Loke, would you please tell Master and Porlyusica-san about what happened?”

“I’ll be right back,” he said as he disappeared.

Now all anyone could do was stick to their assigned tasks and wait.

Hours passed. Porlyusica and Wendy tended to Gray while Natsu kept providing heat. Periodically, during moments of semi-consciousness, they’d prop him up to trickle some warm broth down his throat, attempting to warm him from the inside as well as out. He resisted at first, almost to tears as terror known only to him wracked his mind, but Wendy and Natsu took turns whispering soothing words, ensuring his safety and their presence.

Lucy had once more felt ashamed when Gray's phantom pains were revealed. She'd already concluded that he couldn't have been lying about his pain, but to have it verified felt so jarring to her. Like she ever needed proof of his honesty?  
  
Of equal concern, for all of them, was the revelation of his susceptibility to the cold. The warmth in his house should have been their first clue, honestly. What would this mean later on, when Levy and Freed were finally able to remove those seals?

Master sat with the others in the living room, having heard about everything that had happened yesterday, including the incident in the gardens. He wasn’t nearly as worried about the prospect that Gray may hurt someone, as he was with Gray’s own feelings towards himself. Did he truly believe he could harm an innocent? Believe so strongly, that he’d send his only support away, in order to protect them?

Makarov knew that was only a part of the reason he threw them out. There was also the issue regarding the fact that he had no _reason_ to trust his only support anymore. It was bad enough that his mind was constantly playing tricks on him, sewing seeds of fear and doubt into his subconscious. But to be surrounded by people who echoed those fears back at him? They didn’t _need_ to say anything. He could sense their doubts.  
  
No wonder he preferred the company of children and animals. They accepted him without question, and didn’t make him feel like he needed to put up barriers between himself and them to keep the fears from contaminating each other.

He didn't hold back as he told them as much, adding, "I understand that, as his friends, you may feel entitled to the knowledge of every aspect of his recovery, but you all must come to accept that Gray has his reasons for keeping some details to himself. I'm sure it's difficult enough for him to make himself vulnerable for Porlyusica and Wendy, in order for them to have the information they need to treat him. I also have no doubt that his...experience with those _monsters_...had left him with an even greater desire for privacy than before. What matters is that he's kept those who needed to know aware of everything that was necessary for them to make proper treatment decisions for him. If you had doubts in his judgment, you should have at least trusted that his healers would have sounded alarms if they had any concerns."

Peering into the dining room, his face fell at the sight of Gray's suffering, and he quickly moved his gaze to see Natsu's stricken look. Good. He had heard every word spoken out here, and was taking them to heart. This had been a harsh lesson for them all to learn, but some good would come out of it, he was sure.

There was little more he could say about this. The only advice he had for them was that they couldn’t allow this wound to fester any longer. They needed to make this right.

Wendy peaked her head out the door. “Lucy-san, would you bring his medicines. He’s warmed up now, so he’ll probably start to come around soon, and he’s going to need them.”

“I’ll be right there,” she said, hurrying to the bedroom.

Everyone else went into the dining room, sitting at the table to stay out of the way. Happy, whose turn it was to hold Joy, was cradling her like one would a baby, when her nose started twitching. She recognized her “daddy’s” scent, and started mewing and crying, trying to get to him. Happy was nervous, and panicking, but held on tightly.  
  
Natsu, hearing the cries, but keeping his focus on Gray, saw his eyelids flicker.

“Hey, Happy. Bring her over here,” he said quietly, hopefully.

Happy crept closer, handing the kitten over to Natsu’s outstretched hand. Natsu then placed her onto Gray’s pillow, and waited. Joy pulled herself towards that familiar scent, mewing more excitedly.

Gray’s brow knitted, and his eyelids were weakly fluttering. The kitten nudged his face, and his breathing hitched.

“Guys, he’s finally waking up!” Natsu whisper-shouted.

It was too warm, but he found he didn’t want to move. It was a combination of pain, fatigue, and nausea that kept him down, as the enticing promise of more sleep lured him away. But something was disturbing him. A faint memory, a dream...a nightmare.

Fear.

Doubt.

Mistrust.

Arius, the creatures, Not Her,

...the cold.

A new wave of panic almost crested,until a warmth found him, small and soft. It nuzzled his chin, and kneaded at the skin of his neck and shoulder. Joy. She no longer cried, just curled herself into a tight ball and fell asleep on the pillow, leaning against his neck.  
  
He tried to reach a hand up to pet her, but was too weak to do so. He remembered the cold. So she was fine. He’d kept her warm. He was glad. At least he could do that much.

He tried to escape once more into slumber, but the pain was intensifying rapidly. He opened his eyes, to be greeted by the same darkness he’d grown accustomed to.

“Gray? Do you hear me?”  
  
‘ _Wendy? She dropped the honorific. Must be worried.’_

He nodded, blinking drowsily.

“I know you’re in a lot of pain. You missed a few doses of your medications. I have them right here. Porlyusica-san added something for the nausea, so you won’t have to eat first. Can you swallow them? Please?”

Again, how could he deny her?

A slow nod, and he fought the dizziness as someone, probably Natsu, if the body heat he was giving off was any indication, lifted him to a sitting position. He was fed one pill at a time, sips of water between each. It would take a while for them to take affect. Until then, his back was killing him.  
  
He made weak attempts to lean forward, and Porlyusica knew what he needed.

“Help him lay on his stomach. He’s been on his back for too long.”

They did just that, he not caring at being man-handled, if it meant relieving the built up pressure in his back. Another dizzy spell soon followed, and he didn’t try to fight sleep this time. His little Joy made herself comfortable next to his neck once more.  
  
He was aware enough to feel Wendy cut away his dressings, so Porlyusica could take advantage of his new position to examine any damage his presumed fall outside, as well as the pressure, may have caused to his grafts. There was some bruising, and slight fluid buildup, but she would wait for now, to see if his body would reabsorb it.

In all this activity, he knew they watched.

Natsu, Lucy, and Loke. What were they thinking right now? Were they worried? Disappointed? Wanting to tear him a new one? He regretted everything about last night. Not what he'd said. He hadn’t been so honest in months. But his manner was distressing and so out of character, that afterwards, he’d thought he was another person as well.  
  
But he was so tired, and too weak and reluctant to deal with this right now. Or maybe he felt weak in his reluctance? None of his guilt, however, negated the fact that he was still angry and hurt. Maybe they were angry as well. Whatever it was, they could damn well wait until he was ready to fight back.

“If you have nothing else to do, you may leave now. He’s going to be fine,” said Porlyusica.

He knew he liked having her around.

“This can’t wait. We can’t keep him wondering where he stands with us,” said Natsu.

That sanctimonious son of a bitch.

Still, he may as well get it over with. He brought a hand out and touched it to his mouth, dropping it beside Joy. “ _Talk_.”

Natsu started off. “Gray, you did nothing wrong. You understand? This wasn’t your fault. You have every right to be mad at us. We screwed up. I’m sorry that I left you alone yesterday. But I don’t believe you would have killed that jackass. You’re too strong to allow that to happen. I know you are. I should have told you that then. Instead, I let fear influence my judgement, and I let it get in the way of what I already knew to be true about you. Instead of talking to you about my worries, I shared them with the others, and made them worry, too. I’m sorry we doubted you.”

It never ceased to amaze him how his usually oblivious rival could be so insightful at times. How he had perceived his feelings of shame and self doubt at almost attacking a man would remain a mystery that he had no desire to consider. All that mattered was that his often-clueless friend had managed to clear away some of that fog of guilt, and he found himself starting to relax in their presence, just a little.

Loke continued. “I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry that we left you alone last night. Even when you insisted, we should have stayed, cuz we knew you were hurting. And that night, I could have chosen not to use Gemini. I can’t use the excuse that I was only doing what I was told. I needed to know what was going on, but I should have taken your feelings into account before my own. I know you’re a private person, and I was wrong to betray your trust," edging a little closer, becoming a little quieter, he added, "You were right. It was never mine to tell, and even though I regret how I came to know, I don't regret knowing... When you're ready..."

He left it at that, knowing Gray could take the offer or leave it, for however long he chose. He hadn't failed to notice Gray's body tense at the mention of their shared secret, nor how quickly his anxiety abated when offered the choice of if and when to talk about it.

Lucy was the most hesitant, not because she was too afraid to speak. She feared he wouldn’t receive her words. She had hurt him the most. More so with her lack of faith than with her actual words, she believed. But she wiped the tears straining at her eyes, and placed a hand next to his, not daring to touch, but needing that closeness.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have thought all those awful things about you. Porlyusica told us about the phantom pains. We should have just asked her about our concerns instead of trying to figure everything out ourselves. And I’m so, so sorry we betrayed you. From the moment I brought up using Gemini, I regretted ever suggesting it. I'm ashamed that I would ever think to use them for such a thing, but we were desperate. And that’s no excuse. It’s just...seeing you so upset...is really painful for us, too. So there I was, accusing you of trying to find the easy way out of your pain, when I couldn’t handle a fraction of what you were going through, and went with the easy way out myself.

"It’s just that you've changed in so many ways, in such a short amount of time, and we just couldn’t keep up. But none of that is your fault. You’re going through so much, and all we seem to do is add to your burdens. We’re not trying to control you. And we don’t think you’re out of control. You’re in pain. And you’re afraid, and angry, and I can’t imagine what else. And all we’ve been doing is trying to fix you, when we should have just been there with you, so you wouldn’t have to go through it all alone. I thought I was doing so well, learning Gesture Speak so I could know what you were saying. But I haven’t even tried to understand. I just...want to tell you, that I’m going to try to listen for now on. And I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. But I’ve always believed _in_ you, and I always will.”

They all waited, wondering if he would react at all.He knitted his brow, considering their words. He was still hurt, but...he knew he couldn’t do this without them. Could he take that gamble, to continue to trust them when they could turn on him again? Had they really done that in the first place? He knows them. They wouldn’t do anything to purposely harm him, no more than he’d do so to them. If it weren't for all these doubts and fears that skewed his perception half the time.  
  
On top of that, though, he also felt different. Lighter. Was this what he needed to hear? For months, people have been trying to sympathize. They would say things like “it’ll get better,” “you should try this,” “you need to do it this way,” or the most annoying, “I know how you feel.”

But for some reason, simply hearing them acknowledge his pain, his feelings...helped.

So, he acknowledged them in turn.

Lucy sighed and was about to get up, when she felt a soft touch brush her finger. She looked down, and watched as Gray’s hand gently lay over her own, softly squeezing her fingers, before relaxing again.  
  
She looked up just in time to see his eyes blink at her direction, before they fluttered closed. He heaved a deep sigh, and let sleep take him.

Lucy smiled.

* * *

 _**Please leave a comment! What have you liked so far? What have you hated? Is there anything you'd like to see happen? Anyone you'd like to see appear? It's no fun writing if no one wants to give some feedback, you know? Send an Emoji, or even just a kudos, if that's all you can come up with, but at least show you care! It's getting lonely on this side of the portal.** _ _**  
**_

_**Next Chapter: Christmas is on the way! Also, an unexpected reunion quickly goes south.** _


	24. Asuka, a Fairy Tail Wizard

**_So I finished that project I was commissioned to write. I'm looking forward to seeing it performed on stage next month. Until then, I'm so happy to be back writing this story!_ **

* * *

**_  
_**Everyone was in high spirits today. Christmas was now a month away, but already, the guild was in the process of being transformed. Some guild members were braving tall ladders to hang garland along the high ceilings, while others were changing out the usual table cloths for something more seasonal. Wreathes took the place of banners, and lights were strung up everywhere.

Little Asuka Connell’s tongue stuck out as she painstakingly painted a big, black “charcoal” eyeball onto her clay snowman ornament. Mira had spent all day yesterday baking Christmas cookies, which Asuka had helped decorate. But when they were all done, Asuka was disappointed that she had nothing else to do. She was a member of Fairy Tail, too, and she wanted to help.

Her Gray-ni, sitting next to her on another barstool, reached for a reindeer-shaped sugar cookie (his favorite), bit off an antler, and placed the rest before him as he gestured, " _You can make decorations.”_

“Make what?” She hadn’t learned that word yet.

He lightly tapped the bar top, getting Mira’s attention, who knew already what was needed.

“Go ahead, Gray.”

He proceeded to slowly spell out the word, as Mira had only had time to learn the alphabet. Asuka watched as well, but it was a long word.

“Oh, what a wonderful idea. Asuka-chan, do you want to make decorations?”

“Yeah!” came her excited response. “But what kind?”

“ _If you’d let us use your cookie cutters, we could make some out of clay._ ” He ended up having to spell a few of those words as well.

“I’d be happy to. In fact, I have a pretty good recipe for salt dough,” Mira suggested, but stopped herself when she saw the stricken look on Gray’s face. Like the rest of her peers, she was aware of the circumstances in which Gray had been rescued four months ago, though most of the guild were left in the dark. Everyone within their circle of friends knew to rid the salt shaker from whatever table he sat at. Most everyone else thought it had to do with his heart condition. He had no problem letting them think that. She backpedaled quickly. “But you know what? I bet Natsu still has a bunch of that clay leftover from that caravan job."

Gray took a steadying breath and nodded his thanks. Turning to Asuka, he tapped her shoulder, and asked, “ _I can have Natsu bring some tomorrow before he leaves on his mission. Think you can be here?_ “

Ever since his incident at the Rainbow Sakura Gardens, along with the subsequent evening, Gray had enjoyed an uptick in more "better" days than "bad". Lyon had had a conniption when he'd learned what had happened, but had to admit, Gray'd had some kind of a breakthrough. He still had nightmares and mysterious pains. And the flashbacks have been pretty bad at times. But he comes out of them less withdrawn than before. He’s more open to his friends being around during his darker moods. And they’ve gotten better at just being there. Because sometimes, Gray just needed to know someone was with him when things got too real for him. And he hasn't had to drift since then.

So here they were, sitting at the Connell family’s usual table, a collection of freshly dried clay ornaments before them. Gray was currently chewing in a toothpick, working on a more ornate piece, which was a surprise for Mira for letting them use her cookie cutters. That, and it was nice to keep his hands busy.

He'd noticed since he'd started molding clay that his fine motor skills were improving, as evidenced by the ease in which he could gesture now as compared to before. Wendy had suggested that the slight resistance he felt as he manipulated the clay was good for his hands, so that was just more incentive to keep up this new hobby. The scars still felt weird, the skin still tight and stiff, and he couldn't move his fingers all that quickly, or spread them apart all that well anymore. But his hands were getting stronger, and if he used them often enough, such as when he gestured, they didn't grow stiff by the end of the day.

Asuka’s ornaments were an assortment of the usual Christmas shapes: stars, bells, snowmen, trees, etc. Gray had even acquired a palette of paint from an amused Reedus, so she could paint the figures herself. That would keep her busy for most of the afternoon.

Gray was surprised, but touched, when Bisca had stated her confidence in leaving Asuka with him for a few hours. Just to run a few errands (i.e. Bisca and Alzack needed to buy Asuka’s Christmas presents). Lyon, secure in the fact that Gray was perfectly happy, and surrounded by trusted friends, had taken a page out of the Connell’s playbook, using this opportunity to find presents for his friends back in Margrett Town. Asuka was enjoying herself, he got to hang out with his number one fan, and they both contributed to the merry-making. Speaking of...

“Gray! What do you think of this one?!”

The voice belonged to Laki, who stood on the stage in the front of the guild hall. To one side of the stage stood a huge Christmas tree, which Laki was creating with her wood make magic. Now, they had a small tradition that they'd started many years back, at least from Laki's perspective. Since he was from the northern regions, he was kind of an authority when it came to all things Northern and wintery. So she always came to him for advice on each year’s tree theme. But first, they needed to pick the right kind of tree.

“ _Sprite_?”

Asuka looked at the current tree with a keen eye. Ever since Gray came home, she’s had a habit of describing, in great, detail every picture she drew. That habit has spilled out into other areas. So now, he was relying on her “expert eye” to tell him what was what.

“It's really fat and bushy on the bottom, and skinny on top”

“ _Can you see light through the branches?”_

“Um, yes.”

“ _There are gaps in the leaves. Tell her to make it thicker on top, and make the leaves longer.”_

He hadn’t taught her “needles” yet, but knew Laki would understand what he meant. This back and forth took place for a while, first with the shape of the tree, then with the theme. Gray was partial to blues and silvers, but Asuka wanted pink. They would have to compromise eventually, but Gray was enjoying the “philosophical debate” he was having with the six-year-old, to the other guild members' amusement.  
  
This was nice. Different. Normal.

Hmm. He felt normal.

This was very nice.

It was into this atmosphere of cheer that Panther Lily entered. He had flown ahead of his team, hoping to beat the rainclouds rolling in (not Juvia’s), since clouds often meant thunder. He looked around at all the new and familiar faces.  
  
It’s been more than a month since they’d been back. There were a lot of loose ends to tie up after their failed mission with the Magic Council.Laxus’ team, with Erza, had returned the week before, disappointed and a little mystified at how their sting operation was such a failure.

Did the serial killer catch wind of the operation? Not only had they not caught a suspect, but there had been no more killings since October. Not that they could complain, but serial killers didn’t just stop for no reason. Something must have happened.

“Panther Lily. Welcome back. I heard from Erza that your recent mission with the Magic Council didn't go so well. Were you able to find any new leads since then?” asked Mira.

“It’s still an ongoing investigation, so I can't say much. It’s been quiet, so we’re here until the holidays are over. We’ll be heading back after the New Year.”

“Well, I’m sure everyone will be happy that we can all celebrate together.”

“Gray-ni says to raise the silver beads higher!”

Panther Lily’s eyes went wide. He turned towards where he'd heard Asuka’s voice. ‘ _Oh no. He wasn’t supposed to be here,’_ he thought. Gajeel had talked to Levy just last night. She'd said Team Natsu would be on a mission until tomorrow, so Gray likely wouldn’t be at the guild at all today.

But on the contrary, Gray was standing near the front of the guild with Asuka, apparently designing the Christmas Tree.  
  
This was bad. No, this had the potential to get seriously ugly. The only thing Juvia’s talked about on the way home was her long-awaited reunion with Gray.

He was gesturing something to Asuka once more, who relayed it to the team of tree trimmers. If Lily hurried, he could get Gray out of there before-

“GRAY-SAMA!”

Oh, no.

ooooo

  
“ _Tell them to try not to put two of the same colors together_ ,” he gestured.

Gray was starting to get tired. He’s been visualizing an image of the tree in his mind for hours, assigning colors and patterns, balls and ornaments, all kinds of lights, and more, to different places according to his imagination. It was incredibly mentally tasking to keep that image up for so long. It was like trying to play a game of chess completely in his head. Honestly, he just wanted to go home and take a nap.

The noise level had steadily grown louder with the afternoon crowd, and he’s had to take a knee a few times to be able to hear Asuka’s words. He was unable to hear the sudden excited cry of his name, nor the frantic calls of warning over the din of the crowd.

Unexpectedly, someone grabbed him from behind.

!!!

He stilled, body tensed, suddenly unable to breathe. He knew no thought, nor sound, nor reason.

Fear overtook him.

It was strong.

Primal.

Instinctual.

His heart beat painfully against the inside of his chest. He reached his hand up to grasp at it, finding a woman’s hand instead.

His heart stopped.

Gajeel facepalmed. He tried to stop the rain woman, but she'd slipped out of his grasp with her stupid water body trick and ran. He knew about Gray’s phobia of being touched by women, but he wasn’t expecting what was about to happen.

Juvia was ecstatic. Finally. FINALLY! Her Gray-sama was in sight, and she had no obstruction in her path. No more delays, no more interference. Her beloved would see her devotion, and surrender to her warm embrace.  
  
She ran as fast as she could, reaching his back and wrapping her arms around him.He stood rigid, which wasn't an uncommon reaction from her love. She could only imagine his excitement at her return. Her heart fluttered when he reached for her hand...and she was unable to dodge or go intangible when he abruptly swung around, elbowing her in the side of her head.

‘ _Not her, not Her, Not HER,NOT HER,NOTHERNOTHERNOTHERNOTHER_ '

Gray felt the impact when he swung around, also feeling a sharp, biting pull along his right arm and down the side of his back. He followed through his motion, grabbing for the small knife he knew still lay on the table, slicing his hand a little as he took it. He pivoted, swinging back around to plunge the knife into the creature’s neck. He passed right through, his momentum causing him to crash to the ground in a bone-jarring fall, landing hard on the right side of his back, the knife clattering away.

He was completely lost. He rolled onto his knees, trying to escape, but had no idea where to go. His head moved frantically back and forth, eyes roaming in vain to find whatever threatened him.

He felt the presence approach, trying to capture him again. He fell back, screaming desperately in his now familiarly haunting way, “ _DON’T TOUCH ME!”_ Out of habit, or needing the emphasis, he'd gestured it as well.

No one could understand him.

No one could fathom what he was experiencing right now, nor could they figure out what he needed to come out of this episode.

He had no one who could hear him.

Except for Asuka.

Asuka was afraid. She’d seen her Gray-ni get scared before. She’d seen him hide his tears a few times, when he’d go very still, and no one could rouse him for a while, until he’d come back around, assuring that it was just a minor flashback, whatever that was. But she’d never seen him react like this.

Juvia stood frozen, completely taken aback by her love's violent reaction to her embrace. Her heart was breaking at the sheer terror she saw in his eyes, the terror she'd put there, and she wanted nothing more than to comfort him. But he'd flatly refused her first attempt, and indecision kept her rooted where she was. In hindsight, she understood her actions were risky and unwise, but she had been denied for so long. Now all she could focus on was the distress she'd caused, and the helplessness of being unable to fix it.

Gray was backed up to the bottom of the stage now, still seated, pressing his back against the base like it was a barricade, allowing him to concentrate on the other directions. Which he did, his gaze shifting from one side of the room to the other. Many wondered what he was looking for. It’s not like he could find it that way. Not with his eyes.

From experience, everyone knew to stay back, as he reacted worse to crowds, but they were too afraid or unsure of what else to do. Someone had gone to fetch Master, and Mira was there now, but she was just as helpless as everyone else. She'd witnessed how he’d reacted to Juvia touching him. She saw how he now clutched at his heart. If she tried to touch him, would he suffer a heart attack? Because right now, he didn't look too far from one.  
  
He was gesturing and shouting again, and again, no one knew what he said.

“Where’s Lyon!”

“Someone find his team!”

“Does anyone know what he’s saying?”

“They’re on a mission!”

“Dammit! He’s screaming again!”

“Is someone getting Wendy?”

“She needs to hurry. He looks like he's gonna pass out.”

Gray was hyperventilating now, sweat soaking his skin. Gajeel hissed when he tasted blood in the air, and saw the red starting to stain Gray’s white shirt. After making sure Panther Lily had Juvia under his care, he approached Gray cautiously, kneeling a few feet away. He was out of his element, giving emotional support not being his strong suit, but he figured Gray’d respond better if a guy talked to him.

“Hey, Gray, you with us, man?” He reached forward, just about to brush a hand against his knee, when Gray slapped it away. He just shook his head and tried to retreat more against the stage, gesturing quickly if messily.

“Look, I don’t speak that hand-waving jargon. I don’t know what you’re saying!”

“He doesn’t want you to touch him.”

Both men reacted in surprise.Gajeel turned to see Asuka right beside him, watching Gray very closely. Her eyes were red from crying, but her cheeks were dry, and she had a focus to her that was impressive for such a little kid.

“He wants you to go away, and leave him alone.”

“You can understand him?”  
  
“Gray’s been teaching her,” he heard Mira say behind them.

While this was going on, Gray was experiencing a new kind of panic.

‘Asuka? She was here?! No... NO! I can’t let those bastards take her!’

Faster than anyone thought he was capable of moving, Gray sprung up and grabbed Asuka, pulling her behind him, and taking a defensive stance. It was low and sloppy, like he couldn’t hold himself properly, most likely from pain or weakness, maybe both.  
  
The blood Gajeel smelled before was mixing with the sweat soaking his shirt, causing it to spread like water colors across his sleeve and side, spreading across his collar, and along his chest to the front.

Nobody moved. They feared Gray might do something to Asuka, and couldn’t risk setting him off further. Some were for the first time starting to truly doubt his sanity and place within the guild. If he wasn’t safe around children...

Master arrived then, but seeing Gray’s protective posture, chose to see what would happen. He had faith in Gray, and felt this was an opportunity to prove to him, as well as everyone else, that he would never hurt an innocent. There was not even a whisper in his mind that Asuka was in any danger. She was safe with Gray. He felt deep down that she would always be safe with him.  
  
“Gray-ni, it’s okay. No one wants to hurt you. Okay?”

Gray turned just enough for her to see his hands, keeping his focus forward. “ _Not me. You.”_

“Huh? No one wants to hurt me either. We’re okay. It’s just our friends here. They want to help.”

He shook his head in confusion, unable to put all the conflicting stimuli into any sense of order.

She didn’t know what to say to make him feel better. She only copied what she’d seen Lyon-san or Natsu-ni do whenever her Gray-ni was scared.

“Asuka?!”“  
  
“Gray! Oh my God, what happened?!”

Her parents and Lyon.

Gajeel kept them from getting any closer.

“It’s okay! He’s protecting me!” assured Asuka.

Gray was declining fast. All he could perceive was the danger he couldn’t see, and the sounds of concerned voices and familiarity that was echoing as if from a great distance. He was so confused. He couldn’t breathe, and he was feeling nauseous. His legs were barely holding him up, and his head was spinning. His heart was beating such a harsh rhythm against his chest. This didn’t feel like drifting, not at all. This was something entirely different. But whatever was happening to him, he tried desperately to stay. He couldn’t leave Asuka here alone.

Slowly, her words were penetrating the fog.  
  
“It’s okay.”

”They’re our friends.”  
  
“They don’t want to hurt you”

“Don’t be afraid.”

“They won’t hurt me either.”

He believed her. Only her. She’d never lied to him. Never hid her thoughts or worries from him. If he did something that was strange to her, she’d say so, with an honest candor that he wished others would show.

Without warning or any control on his part, he collapsed to his knees again, head bowed to the floor, gasping desperately. Many who hadn't yet noticed the blood staining his shirt felt their worries increase. He tried to rise, but his arms gave out, and he fell to his side, lungs working frantically to keep up with his racing heart. But he didn’t drift. He wouldn’t.  
  
Asuka was there instantly, taking his hand, trying not to cry. He held on to her hand tightly, in a futile attempt to keep her from being taken away.No. That wasn’t right. She'd said it was okay. She wasn’t in danger. She was fine. She was safe.

Slowly, the fog lifted. Those familiar sounds were becoming more distinct, more clear, not so distorted.Gajeel allowed Lyon, Bisca, and Alzack through, but Asuka held up her free hand, saying that Lyon-san should come first.

Taken aback at being ordered around by their little girl, her parents paused, allowing Lyon to approach first. He went to his knees, gently placing his hand on Gray’s shoulder, staying firm as he tried to flinch away, only to relax when Lyon announced who he was.

He nearly panicked when Gray released Asuka’s hand, and weakly gestured that his heart felt like it was trying to beat its way out of his chest. Why weren't his heart medicines working? But Lyon spoke his usual words of comfort, trying to calm him, hoping to get his heart rate down. He kept his hand where it was to keep his brother grounded, while using his other hand to move the sweat-soaked hair from his face, trying to see his eyes. They were open and red, fearful, but fading.  
  
Wendy arrived then, and calmly told Asuka it was okay to go. She nodded, and reluctantly stood up, turning to look at her parents, who immediately embraced her.They stayed where they were, close but out of the way, wanting to spare Asuka any further drama, but knowing she’d already experienced a lot, and would be inconsolable if they took her away before she knew Gray’s condition.  
  
Mira stood with them, backing up Asuka’s words that she was never in any danger, that Gray was trying to protect her, that he wasn’t at fault. These statements were further confirmed by Juvia’s highly emotional outbursts of apologies and assertions of complete blame. None of which were needed. They saw enough to know he was the victim here.

Wendy had cut away his shirt as soon as Asuka was out of the way. Just as she’d feared, some of the grafts had torn along the edges on both his back and shoulder, and along his arm. They were awful to look at and shudder-inducing, but hopefully salvageable. She had Lyon apply pressure to the tear at his shoulder while she worked on stabilizing the separating skin along his back.

People tried not to stare, but this was the first time they’d actually seen the many scars from that unspeakable ordeal. Horrified looks and sympathy were on everyone’s faces. Lyon was grateful Gray couldn’t see them. Master ordered the room cleared, and everyone vacated the guild. Everyone, except those helping Gray, Gajeel’s team, and the Connell’s with Mira, who’d received silent permission from Master to let them stay.

While Lyon and Wendy worked, Master Makarov turned towards Juvia, who, still being held by Panther Lily, cried in torment at what she’d done.

“Master, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think...I never meant for this to happen...it’s all my fault...I’m so sorry...”

“Juvia,” he began, “Go into my office, pour yourself a drink, and calm down. I’ll come talk to you after Gray gets settled in the infirmary. I assume he’ll be staying the night?” he asked towards Wendy, receiving a nod.

“But I want to apologize to Gray-sama—“  
”That can wait. Go now, please.”

“Come on, Juvia. He’ll be fine. Let’s go,” Gajeel said, leading her away as Lily followed.

He next addressed Mira. “Mira, please summon Porlyusica.”

“Right away, Master.”

Makarov turned to the Connell’s, putting on a proud face as he approached Asuka.

“Asuka-chan, thank you. You did a wonderful job today, keeping him calm and telling us what he was trying to say. You are truly a worthy member of our guild, and your parents should be very proud,” he smiled.

“We are,” beamed Alzack, hugging his daughter close.“  
  
You were very brave today, Baby Girl,” added Bisca.

“*sniff* Can we stay until he gets better?” she asked hopefully.

“I’m sure he would be happy to see you when he wakes up, but you should let him rest until then. Perhaps you can visit later, if your parents should like to bring you,” replied Makarov.  
  
“Of course you can come,” answered Alzack before she could get the question out.

With everything settled, the Connell’s went home, while Master remained to see that other matters were attended to.

* * *

  
-a village up north-

Silas opened the door as soon as he heard his brother, Caleb, coming up the walkway.

“Where’s dad?” he asked.

“Out in the garden, by the marker,” Silas replied, leading his brother out the back door.  
  
Their father was on his knees, digging into the frozen ground with his bare, now bleeding hands. Once a mildly well-to-do tradesman, their father, Jonas, had fallen hard after their mother had died from a long illness.No longer willing or able to continue running the family business, Caleb now took charge while Silas cared for their father.

Most of the servants had been let go after his mind had started failing, in order to preserve his dignity at the very least. Now his sons have come together to try to talk some sense into him.

Being respected citizens of their small community, they observed many customs that were different from the larger villages. The sons were for once grateful for the one custom they’d come to loath growing up. They hadn’t known how strange this custom was until they found so few others practicing it from their many travels as representatives of their father’s business.

They couldn't even imagine what their neighbors would think if they were to come upon the once-revered Jonas, digging up a plot in a public commoners’ cemetery. Because the wealthier families in the village had this odd custom of burying their dead on their own land, the brothers could save their father from such public scrutiny, as they watched him trying to unearth the large stone marker over his wife’s grave.

“Dad! What do you think you’re doing?! Stop this!” pleaded Caleb.

“You’ve come to stand in my way as well? Your brother couldn’t stop me. What makes you think you can?” he huffed as he tried to push the stone down. He had a long way to go before the dirt would be shallow enough for the stone to topple over. “If Silas hadn’t locked up the tools, I’d’ve been done by now.”

Caleb studied the stone, just now finding chips of broken granite littering the ground, along with cracks on the corners. Silas had locked up the tool shed after Jonas had taken a sledge hammer to the marker.

“Why are you doing this? How can you defile mom’s grave like this?!”  
  
“You foolish boy! Why would your mother need this monument of lies? She’d alive! I saw her! She doesn’t need this marker any longer!” he cried as he continued digging.

Though Silas has heard this claim over and over since the day before last, it still left a twinge in his gut whenever his father said it. He'd told Caleb about it, but that didn’t keep the distress from his eyes when he heard it from his father’s mouth for the first time.  
  
How could his mind deteriorate so quickly? There were no previous signs of dementia, no history of mental illness in their family. Of course, certain stressors could cause a sudden, relatively short-lived mental episode, but to the point of believing the dead wasn’t really dead?

“Dad!” Caleb cried, bending down, trying to get his father off the ground, “Get a hold of yourself. Mom is dead! You were here when we buried her! You have to move on!”

Jonas threw him off, angry and hurt at his sons’ unbelief.“Don’t you talk of your mother that way! She’s alive! I saw her. She was here! Alive, standing tall and strong, like she was never sick. Wearing the dress we b...buried her in,” he said, a near sob at the end, “I can’t let her see this marker. She can’t think that I let her go. That I could accept her passing so easily. This has to go, before she comes back! Please! You have to help me destroy it! Caleb, Silas, I’m your father! You have to honor my wishes! Help me destroy this lie, before your mother returns!”

Silas was devastated at this sad caricature of their father. He couldn’t answer, his grief so strong, unable to control himself as he turned away to cry. Caleb was sad, but he was more angered. This was too new for him, too strange, too unlike the father he'd admired and grew to emulate.  
  
He grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him as if he could knock the truth into his head.“Listen to me! Mom is DEAD! You didn’t really see her. You’re sick with grief, delusional! You need to stop this, and we need to get you help! You’re acting crazy!”

" ** _Such impudence. Is this how the youth of today’s world treat their elders?”_**

Surprised at the sudden intrusion into their private family matter, all three of them looked towards the source of that strange, otherworldly voice. They found an old man before them, looking far older than they thought an able-bodied man could be. He stood up straight and tall, no need of any kind of assistance, and moved with the surety of a man in his prime. He wore a shroud that looked suspiciously like burial clothes.

“Who are you?” asked Caleb, “What are you doing on our land? This is a private matter. You need to leave!”

“ ** _You presume to give me orders. Such arrogance. Such disrespect. Have you forgotten the laws of your ancient scriptures? ‘Honor the words of thy father, that thou may grow wise as his many years give wisdom, and be given many years in turn._** ’ “  
  
“What do you want from us?” asked Silas, backing up closer to his brother.

“ ** _Heh, heh, heh. The last time this vessel was asked such a question, it failed to deliver on its promise. I will not be so slow to accommodate you. The life will leave your bodies quickly, and you will serve me._** ”

“You better get off our property now, old man, if you don’t want to leave here in shackles. We have connections with the local Rune Knights,” said Caleb.“

 ** _Heh, heh, heh. You’re local constabulary may join me, if they so wish to put up the struggle. But I must now familiarize myself with these new skills._** "

The stranger looked to a place behind them, causing them to turn at the indication of something there. The sons froze in shock, the father in joy.Behind them was an older woman, stooped in age and pale, but very much alive.

His wife.  
  
Their mother.

“Ella? It’s you! I knew it. See? I told you she was alive. My beautiful Ella!” cried Jonas as he ran to his “wife.”

“M...mom?” cried Silas in disbelief.

“What the hell is this? Did you do this?! Who are you! What have you done to our mom?!” yelled Caleb.  
  
“ ** _What have I heard the youths say in this era? ‘Practice makes perfect.’ Does this not please you?_** ”

Jonas hugged his wife, crying and laughing at once. She did not return the embrace.“Dad, please, this isn’t right. That can’t be mom. She died...she...she’s dead. Please. What’s going on? What is this?!” cried Silas.“  
  
“You’re a Wizard. This is just a disgusting spell. Is that why you’re here? You think to fool us with your sick magic, gain our favor? Walk away with a pocket of jewel from the pitiful, deluded rich man? You bastard! Stop this now! This is sacrilege!”

The stranger gave an eerie grin.

“ ** _Sacrilege. Holiness. Obscenity. Love. Hate. Fear. Compassion. Anger. Faith._ _All of these things and more are merely concepts created by humans to give inferior forms to their weak emotions and uncertainties. In truth, there is only power. I will return this world into one of purity. I will rid this world of the taint of human weakness, by putting that weakness to its proper use."_**

It brought its gnarled hands together, and a dark aura formed around it. It was cold, malicious, suffocating. It spread out to encompass the whole community and beyond. A chill befell the men, as well as all the other villagers, who would soon meet their fates, unaware of the means or reasons why.

“ ** _This vessel has a useful power. A versatile one... A wasted one. I will correct that failure, and use it well.”_**

The sons turned in horror to the sound of their father’s screams, shocked at the sight of their mother’s hand protruding from his back.  


“DAD!”

They both screamed as they ran to help, only to stop short when they saw their father jerkily pull away, sliding off from his wife’s hand. He turned to face them, and they both stared aghast at the daylight from behind him, which shined through the hole in his chest.  
  
“ ** _Know relief, or despair. It matters not. Soon, I will bring order and balance to this world, and true power will reign."  
  
_**

* * *

Later that evening, Gray was resting in the infirmary. He laid on his back now, to keep pressure on his recently sutured grafts, bed raised at an angle to ease breathing. He’d been given some stronger pain killers tonight, including localized injections to numb the pain in his arm and back, as well as some newer medicines to subsidize his usual beta blockers, to control his heart rate. It wasn’t ideal to chemically slow his heart down, but it was better than the alternative. He'd been in real danger this time of suffering some kind of cardiac incident, so they weren’t taking any chances. All in all, he wasn’t in the best shape, but it could have been worse.

Lyon was sitting beside him, working on some reports to send back to Lamia Scale. He’d been able to do a few short missions here and there, all local affairs, nothing that would have him gone longer than half the day. Since Gray’s shown a willingness to accept others to stay with him, Lyon’s been given more options on how to spend his time away from his guild. He had been fiercely reluctant at first to do so, having lost faith in the prospect of leaving Gray in the care of his own friends and guild mates after what had happened the very first time he'd tried. He probably would have continued to act accordingly if it wasn't for the fact that he'd indeed seen improvement in the way Gray handled being in their care, as well as Gray's own admonishment that living in constant worry and fear did no good for anybody.

Carla sat on the bed, taking care of Joy, since her daddy wouldn’t be home tonight. After what happened earlier today, Lyon felt that Gray would benefit greatly from her presence.

A quick intake of air let him know he was awake. Setting his papers aside, he rose from his chair, dragging it closer to the bed.

Gray was blinking confusedly, trying to figure out where he was. This was familiar. Something was beeping. It smelled like cleanser and sweat in here. His head felt foggy, disjointed. His arm and back felt strange, almost numb. He generally ached all over.  
  
“Carla, get Wendy, please.”

“Alright.”  
  
“Gray, how do you feel?”

‘ _Lyon... He’s...been staying with me.’That’s right. Because he was attacked. But not? No, that’s not why he was here... Or maybe it was?_

Why was he so confused? He brought his hand up to his chest. It had hurt before. He winced when he felt the tightness in that arm.

“Careful!” Lyon admonished, pulling his arm back down, gently probing the thick gauze he now felt there, “Porlyusica-san had to restitch some parts of your grafts. She’ll know more tomorrow, about whether all that healing has gone to waste. Hopefully, they won’t end up failing because of what happened.”  
  
‘ _My what_?!’

“Gray-san! I’m glad you’re awake! Do you remember what happened?” asked Wendy.

He tried to speak, found he couldn’t. He felt he should be far more upset about that. Also, now that he thought about it, shouldn’t he be more upset by the fact that it was pitch black in here, but no one else seemed to notice? He woke up blind, but somehow knew this fact to be not so strange. A new experience, but familiar as well.

' _Damn. What kind of crap did they have me on?_ ''  
  
“Gray-san. I really need to know what you can remember,” Wendy again requested, a hint of apprehension in her voice.

Memories started to reappear: jumbled, out of sequence, out of context. The beeping he kept hearing was slow and steady, strangely so. He felt it should be racing by now. His chest had hurt. It still hurts, but not over his heart. He focused on that pain, locating it over his guild mark.

**What guild mark?**

It all came back.Such a strange sensation, being completely oblivious one moment, to becoming perpetually angry/fearful/frustrated/sad/pained the next. He was getting tired of that sudden shift more than anything else.

At least for a few moments, he had felt normal.

Something in his demeanor changed, and his friends relaxed.“You’re back with us, then?” asked Lyon.

A nod. “ _Sorry_.”

“It’s fine. We were expecting you to forget after what happened. It was pretty traumatic. I’m glad you managed to come back to yourself so quickly. That’s a great improvement compared to how bad your memory loss used to be,” said Wendy.

Memory lapses aside,

  
 _“How’s Asuka? And Juvia? I think I hurt her, but.._.”“

You didn’t hurt her,” answered Wendy, “Don’t worry. She turned to water before things got serious, and she can take a hit pretty well. Asuka’s perfectly find. She’s waiting to see you, if you want?”

Before he could respond, he felt a small weight land on his lap, kneading at the blanket. He smiled, holding his hand up, clicking his tongue off the roof of his mouth. Joy heard, and quickly found his hand, nudging and rubbing against it. He paid particular attention to the nub of her missing ear. She purred.

‘ _Hello, love.’_

He nodded his assent to visitors as he relaxed to the repetitive sounds and motions.A few minutes later, a subdued Asuka came to the door, followed by her dad. Bisca had decided to stay at their table, just in case Gray was still feeling a little nervous. Asuka perked up upon seeing Gray awake, and doubly so when she saw who was with him.

He’d told her about his kitten, but this was her first time meeting her.

“Is that Joy? She’s so pretty! Can I pet her?”Nothing like a cute animal to lift a sad kid’s spirits.

Gray patted the side of the bed, and after a quick nod from her dad, she climbed up.

Joy was shy at first. Most of her humans were quite big, but this one was more compact. That made her too different. She scampered to Gray’s chest, trying to climb into his hospital tunic.  
  
He caught her by the scruff of her neck, tapped her nose, and put her back down.“ _Make this sound,_ ” he gestured, before making that same clicking sound.

Joy looked to her daddy, then tilted her head towards the new sounds of other clicks, coming from the tiny human. Clicks meant scritches. She cautiously approached the small human. Gray told Asuka to hold her hand close, but to not touch.

“ _Let her go first.”_

A tentative sniff, then a nudge. She purred. Asuka smiled. Fast friends.

“ _She likes you_.”

She nodded, then, “Do you feel better?” she asked hopefully.  
  
 _“Now that you're here. Thank you for being my voice. And for helping me come back._ ”

She didn’t quite understand where he’d came back from, as he’d never left, but she’d heard his other friends say that before, whenever one of his “flashbacks” were over, so she just accepted and went with it.  
  
“You’re welcome. I’m happy you’re not scared anymore.”

He thought about that. She wasn’t completely right, but she wasn’t wrong either.He smiled.At that moment, he wasn’t scared.

He felt normal.

* * *

  
**For those of you waiting in hopeful anticipation of finally seeing Gray and Juvia in a scene together, I hope that I'd given enough foreshadow for everyone to predict how Gray was likely to react to one of Juvia's typical greetings. Remember, for now, they're just friends. I hope you'll enjoy their moment next chapter.**

**Next Ch** **apter: Gray and Juvia have a more amicable reunion. Also, Makarov and team Gajeel exchange intel. And where's Joy?**


	25. Before One’s Self

**_Just a reminder, I don’t write romance, so no ships other than friendships here! Honestly, both Juvia and Gray deserve better treatment from the authors. She's shown herself to be such a strong, reliable, and loyal woman, then comes off as needy and entitled, and she's pretty much relegated to being Gray's comic relief.I just find her antics tasteless, and not nearly as funny as Mashima-Sensei seems to think they are. So, I’m introducing an opportunity for growth that I’d like to see in the manga. Besides, if you’ve read this far, you should have already realized Gray’s not gonna be in the mood for hooking up with anyone in the foreseeable future._ **

**_Thanks to Wolfess and LMPsisterhood for your awesome reviews on AO3, especially for Wolfess' running commentary as they read throughout the day. That was a very enjoyable thread._ **

* * *

To say Juvia was nervous was an understatement. She had absolutely no right to be here, but she had little choice if she was going to properly apologize. Something this personal deserved more than a simple note, but also didn’t belong in the public eye of the guild. As she walked up the stone path to his porch, she tried to remember everything Master Makarov had told her.

ooooo

- _one week before-_

“Juvia, I've no doubt that you understand the seriousness of what happened out there. But I need you to know that your actions today could have caused a great deal more harm than what you saw. In fact, we’re not yet aware of the full extent. If the damage done to his skin grafts cause them to fail, he’ll have to start all over with new ones. That would require several months more time added to his recovery. On top of all that, his heart almost gave out!”

“I understand, Master. I’m so sorry. I never meant for anything like this to happen! I would never do anything to purposely bring harm to my Gray-sama. You have to believe me! I just couldn’t help myself. When I saw him for the first time in so long...!”

“This is the very reason I tried to keep you two separated. Gajeel’s kept you informed about his condition. You know he doesn’t react well to unexpected touches from women. What were you thinking, grabbing him like that? If you had at least called for his attention first, let him know you were near, he could have been prepared."

“I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking! Ever since I learned he'd been taken, only the worst things would appear in my mind, and all I could think about was how we'd almost lost him. But seeing him standing there, alive and well, made me forget all of that. For a brief moment, I though things could finally go back to normal. Master, I promise I never intended to harm him. I would be devastated if I learned that anything I did was hurting him."

“*Sigh* Of course I know you would never mean him harm. You are a very kind, vibrant and passionate young woman, and I know that when you devote yourself to something, you go all out.”

“Yes, because I must prove to Gray-sama that I am capable of loving him to the fullest!”

“I’ve seen your demonstrations of devotion, and I can tell you that your efforts are misguided and fruitless, especially given the current circumstances.”

“Why are you being so cruel, Master?”

Makarov may be acting harsh right now, but at least he wouldn’t mention the implications that her overly amorous behavior may had conditioned Gray into lowering his guard. Erza had informed him of how Gray had discovered the now-obvious signs of a potential break in at his home, mistaking them for just more of Juvia’s “overtures of affection” He knew his child still harbored feelings of shame and self doubt over his perceived failures in preventing his capture.

How would Juvia feel if she were to discover this truth: that if Gray would have had any reason to believe someone other than Juvia had tampered with his window latch, he would have been more wary upon going home that night. Mentioning that would be cruel indeed. She already carried the weight of guilt over this incident. She'd never forgive herself if she ever made that connection as well.

However, Juvia really needed to hear this.

“My intension is to be honest. Oftentimes, a cruel truth must prevail over a beautiful lie, especially when that lie can be even more cruel. Gray is in a very fragile state right now. Just because he appeared well, at least better than what you may have been expecting, you neglected to account for everything else you knew he'd gone through, and acted like nothing had changed."

“I know! And I can never forgive myself for that! All I can see now is that look of fear in his eyes. The fear I put there! And the pain. Even in his silence, I felt like I could hear every scream as if they pierced my own heart. It was unbearable, and the thought that my own impulsiveness did that to him is the worst thing I've ever felt. Seeing him like that, I've never been more scared, and I can't even bring myself to face him now... But...I miss him so much.

"I just wanted to be near him! Even now, everywhere he goes, I want him to know that I would follow him. I want to cook nice meals for him, and make sure his needs are met, and keep away whatever frightens him. I want to experience from afar everything he enjoys, until the day comes when we can enjoy them together! When I finally saw him today, I thought I could have those things again."

“But has he ever asked for these things? Has he ever returned your affections in any capacity other than friendship? Juvia, you and Gray, and every other member of this guild, have experienced more difficulties and dangers than most adults have ever seen. I think that through such lenses, it's easy for you to forget that you and your peers are all still just children, and have much still to learn.

"The reason I say that your actions are misguided and in vain is simply because you don’t need to do these things for him. You don’t need to prove anything. He knows you love him. He doesn’t need the constant reminders. What he needs more than anything right now are his friends... My child, I need you to consider whether the reasons you want to do these things may be coming from a want to fulfill your own desires more than his own."

“But how can that be true? I love him with all my heart!”

“Do you love him enough to let him go?”

“Why would I let go of something I love?”

“You would, if it would make the object of your love happy. If you truly love him, then his happiness should have priority over yours. Just like I’m sure you’ve seen him put others’ happiness before his own. That’s what true friends do for each other. They consider each other before their own selfish desires. Can you honestly say you’ve done this for him?”

There was some hesitation, and she couldn't doubtlessly say whether she has or not.

"Juvia, I'm not saying that you can never be with him. Far from it. But like I said, he needs his friends to be his _friends_ right now. Anything more than that is more than he can handle. I fear that after what he's been through, he may have difficulties forming any kind of meaningful relationship of an amorous nature with anyone. That's how deeply he was hurt. If you truly love him, which I know you do, you will hold back your desires in favor of his own."

"But, how would we ever fulfill our own wants and needs if we're always putting others first?"

Makarov had to smile. Oh the precious naivety of youth.

"If everyone were to do that, then don't you think others would choose to put you first as well?"

That made a lot of sense. But that only added to the shame Juvia felt.

"Juvia has made a grave mistake...many mistakes...how can Gray-sama ever forgive me?”

“His forgiveness is for him to give, and for you to seek. He may offer it without any effort from you at all, but you mustn’t be afraid to ask. Regardless of your past interactions, he does value your friendship. He doesn’t want you to obsess over him, but he wouldn’t want you to avoid him either. And who knows? Given enough time, he may heal enough to be able to allow his friendship with you to grow into something more.”

ooooo

- _now_ -

Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door.

“I’ll get it,” came Erza’s voice.

‘ _Erza-san?’_

Erza had not expected to see Juvia at Gray’s door anytime soon. Just like the rest of her team, she was disappointed in the water mage's actions, and they’ve all been rather protective of him since then. Natsu’s even made it a point to run ahead to the guild to sniff out her scent before Gray would go visit, but she’d been a no-show lately.

Erza almost felt bad for her. She must feel horrible. But her priority had to be Gray. That’s not to say that she didn’t sympathize with the water mage. It wasn’t that long ago that she’d had her own confrontation with their mutual friend.

ooooo

When she’d learned about his breakdown from Lucy the night she and Loke had been kicked out, Erza had still been deeply involved in her mission for the council. She couldn’t afford to be distracted, so she had no choice but to put aside any thoughts about it until her assignment was over. Unfortunately, she was unable to make further contact with them due to mission constraints. But she had wished, just that one time, that she could put aside the responsibilities she incurred as an S-Class mage so she could immediately return home, and apologize for her own part in the affair.

As soon as she’d returned to Magnolia, she’d rushed from the train station to Gray’s house, intent on pleading for his forgiveness and offering whatever penance he would require. When she arrived, she found both Gray and Lyon outside, Lyon having just finished raking the leaves, and in the process of gathering them all into bags for pickup the next day.

He was grinning as he watched Gray, who was sitting on the porch with Joy, an exasperated look on his face. Seeing what his brother was doing, he couldn't help but to smile. Why in the world was he—

“Lyon. I’m glad you’re both here. I have come to pay my dues.”

He turned around, surprised at Erza’s unexpected arrival, and for her strange reason for being there. Gray apparently hadn’t heard her, distracted as he was by the fact that he was still—

“Is he...why is he gesturing to Joy?” Erza was perplexed. Did he teach his cat to read gestures while she was gone? Could cats even learn to do that?... Was Gray’s breakdown so awful, that he’d lost his sanity, and now believed that his cat could talk back to him?!

Lyon was laughing softly, quite taken by the apparently humorous scene before them. “He’s reprimanding Joy for harassing his fish,” he said between giggles.

“He’s... But she can’t read gestures. She can’t, right?”

“Of course not. He knows that. But how else would he talk to her? Besides, what pet really understands what their owner says to them? People still like to talk to them. Gray! Erza’s here!”

She hadn’t been ready to be announced yet, but she wasn’t a coward in any sense of the word, so she squared her shoulders, and marched down the walkway, standing before him as a soldier, ready to be dressed down by her superior.

“Gray, I have come to apologize for my unfair judgments, and for the frivolous accusations I made against you that caused your recent distress. As penance, you may strike me as many times as you need, to rid yourself of the burden of your undeserved anguish. Please do not hold back!”

Gray quirked an eyebrow, and he didn’t need sight to know that Lyon was shrugging his shoulders, as that was usually the response one would give in light of Erza’s bizarre entreaty. And if she had been around in the subsequent days following that night, he might have done just that. But things were different now. After a couple of sessions with Loren, he’d since come to understand and accept that his friends were only trying to help him, in their overzealous and misguided way. Though their actions were hurtful, he couldn’t hold their love against them.

But Erza had been gone during that whole incident, and didn’t realize it was all in the past now. Well, if she really wanted to earn his forgiveness...

Erza was expecting a punch to the face, not a kitten. He held Joy by the scruff of her neck, she simply dangling contentedly, batting at Erza’s nose as she did so. Erza, unsure what else to do, took Joy into her hands, petting her as she looked at Gray in confusion.

“ _She keeps drinking from the water garden, and scaring my fish. Keep her busy, would you? She won’t let me work.”_

“I...of course. She is in good hands. But are you able to...I mean, of course you know what you’re capable of doing better than anyone, but...wouldn’t you rather have me do the work? I owe you, for hurting you...”

“ _You owe me nothing more than your friendship and love, which you’ve never failed to give.”_

Erza was taken aback, not only by how quickly she had received his forgiveness, but by his words. She couldn’t remember if he’d heard her say that before, or maybe she’d learned it from him originally, but they were the exact same words she’d said to Lyon in the forest of bandits months ago. Looking back at Lyon, she saw his pleased grin. He'd remembered those words as well. As he continued interpreting Gray's next words, she turned back to face him.

“... _besides, I’m just holding the bags open for Lyon to fill. I think you underestimate how ornery Joy can be. Good luck with her,_ ” he smiled mischievously as he flicked his cane open and followed a chuckling Lyon down the path towards the pile of leaves.

That afternoon, Erza learned to keep her hair in a tight bun whenever she came to visit, and to not allow Joy to overindulge in the recently planted patch of what she now knew to be catnip growing in the flowerbed.

ooooo

That memory flashed through Erza’s mind the moment she saw Juvia, as the look on the other mage's face was very similar to how she must have looked that day.

She stepped out the door, closing it behind her, and folded her arms in front of her as she took a firm, no-nonsense stance.

“What can I do for you, Juvia?” she asked tersely.

“Juvia came to apologize to... Gray-san. I know I don’t deserve his forgiveness, but...I just...”

“Well, he’s preoccupied with his O and M instructor right now. He’s learning how to safely prepare and handle food. It hasn’t been easy, given his recent and unforeseen decrease in flexibility in his dominant arm, but he’d been looking forward to this lesson and refused to postpone, so he’s managing. It’s important that he be allowed to maintain focus, though, with little distraction until he gets used to all the new motions he's learning.”

Because Juvia really needed another reminder of her wrong-doing.

“Then Juvia will come back some other time.” She turned to leave, making it halfway down the path when Erza called her back.

“Juvia...come with me.”

Erza opened the door a crack and called out, “Gray, Loren-san, I’ll be out back if you need anything,” before closing the door behind her.

“Where is Lyon-sama?” Juvia wondered, only a little unnerved that Gray was being cared for by Erza instead of one of the boys.

Erza stepped off the porch, forgoing shoes, and walked through the grass to the side of the house, coming to a wooden gate framed by a custom built arbor. It definitely had a touch of Gray's style to it.

“He left early this morning, saying he had an important errand to take care of in Margret Town. He’ll be back tomorrow afternoon.”

She opened the gate for Juvia to enter, who upon stepping through, was awestruck by what she saw.

The whole backyard was a tranquil getaway, hidden from the neighbors' views by well-worn red cedar. A path started at the arbor, made of large, flat flagstone, bordered by smooth, white pea gravel. It meandered around the first half of the yard, curving around trees and bushes. Though there was grass, there were only thin patches between artistic groupings of stones and large boulders, also surrounded by pea gravel.

The rear half of the yard was more natural, with trees and low lying plants, the ground covered in years worth of fallen leaves. There were herbs growing within the rock garden closest to the low deck that lead to the back door, where someone had started the process of digging a large hole.

“Gray says this is called xeriscaping. Where he comes from, there’s little greenery throughout the year. Most people choose to maintain rock gardens and natural features that require low irrigation. This was a dry, barren patch of dirt when he first bought this house. I told him he should have gotten a low-maintenance townhouse closer to the guild, but he wanted a place a little further from the chaos... and something he could use as his canvas, was what he’d said. He’s really put a fine creative touch to it, hasn’t he?”

Looking around, Juvia couldn’t disagree. It was a little dry for her taste, but aesthetically pleasing. “It’s lovely. But why did Erza-san bring Juvia back here?”

“I wanted to show you something. Can you guess what we’re digging this hole for?”

“Juvia is afraid she isn’t well versed in landscaping.”

Erza stepped closer, lowering her voice, “We’re building a small fish pond here. I think he’s been wanting a bigger home for his fish. He’d drawn up plans over the summer, and was going to start on it when the weather cooled, but... Anyway, Lucy found the plans while we were cleaning out his house. She'd saved them, keeping them in his new desk. They remained there, forgotten these past few months. But then we noticed something about him,” turning to face her, she revealed, “He finds comfort in water.”

Juvia’s eyes widened. He found comfort in her element? It’s Fate!

‘ _Calm down, Juvia! It doesn’t mean anything!’_

“How do you know this? Did he say anything, or, you know...” she asked hopefully.

“Not so much in words, but we’ve recently learned to pay more attention to what he doesn’t say. What I can tell you is this: the first thing he did when he got home from the hospital was to dip his fingers in the water garden up front. We’d noticed, when he was still bedridden, that he’d developed this habit of doing the same thing with his drinking glass, just swirling the water around with his fingers. He’s continued doing so to this day... You know of his insomnia?"

“No. I wasn’t aware of it.” she said.

“Lyon’s made the happy discovery that he tends to sleep better when it rains. It took him a while to make the connection. Now, if he’s having a particularly bad night, Lyon will leave the shower running until he falls asleep. He’ll usually only sleep a few hours, but it helps.”

“But why this sudden fascination?”

“Natsu believes it has to do with his anxiety towards fire. It makes sense that he'd find comfort in its opposite. When Lyon mentioned his observations, Lucy pulled out the old plans for the pond. We’ve been secretly working on it ever since.”

“You’ve kept this a secret?”

“It hasn’t been hard. We only work on it when Gray’s away for training with Loren. And he’s not yet able to go further than the back deck on his own; too many tripping hazards. But I’m sure he’ll enjoy it. It’ll have a small waterfall feature, so he can hear the sound of trickling water from his bedroom... or from wherever he chooses to sleep.”

“That is very kind and considerate of you. You all do so much for him, while expecting nothing in return.”

“Expectations, no. But we do get a satisfaction out of helping. We’re not trying to earn his love by doing things for him. He loves us already, and because we love him, that puts a desire in us to do what we can to make him happy. He does the same for us.” Erza was giving a pointed look at Juvia as she said these things.

Juvia understood what Master Makarov meant by putting others before oneself, but seeing it in action was something else entirely. She came here with a feeling of stones in the pit of her stomach, expecting Gray to fully reject her before she could say a single word. Now, she felt lighter. He may still reject her, but she was not as scared to face him now. She was scared, but not at the rejection. If he chose not to forgive her, at least she will have tried, which is all one can ever really do when seeking amends. She only worried now that he may still fear her. In any case, she would put his needs first.

They looked up when the back door slid open. Gray was being led to a chair on the deck by Loren, who also carried a tray of food, which he placed on a small table nearby.

“Gray thought it would be nice to eat outside today. You’re welcomed to join us, Juvia-san.”

“Um, have we...?”

“No, we haven’t met. Gray heard your voice through the door when you first arrived. He was hoping you’d stay for lunch. We’re having Boscan beef salad. It’s a recipe that’s really popular in the east. He prepared it himself. Will you join us?”

She looked timidly at Gray, but he showed no signs of fear at all. If anything, he looked almost amused, as if daring her to say no.

“If it’s what Gray-san wants...”

He quirked an eyebrow at the new title, but smiled as he nodded. Erza got two more chairs, and they sat to enjoy their meal, with Loren interpreting since Erza was still learning the basics of Gesture Speak herself.

“Gray, this is very good. It’s different,” said Erza as she wrapped some thinly sliced beef inside a leaf of romaine lettuce before eating it.

“ _Old family recipe. I used the leftover steak that Natsu brought over last night._ ”

They chose to prepare something that required no heat. No one was expecting Gray to dive right into cooking over a stove anytime soon, but there were many other ways to help out in the kitchen. Loren was pleased with how quickly he'd picked up safe knife-handling skills, especially with all the slicing involved in this meal, but he figured with his fighting style, he already knew his way around a blade.

“It’s delicious, Gray-san. Thank you for having me over... Um, I wanted to...I came to apologize for what happened last week. Juvia knows that she should have been more considerate, and that she should have shown more restraint and left you alone. She is also sorry for making you uncomfortable and doing things for you out of her own selfish desires. She still wishes for something more between us, and I believe I always will, but I would only be satisfied if it was something we both desired. I wanted you to know that I’ve decided to devote myself to being your friend, if you will let me. I hope you will forgive me...”

The switch to first person pronouns went without comment. He stared in her direction, considering his next words as he chewed. She was a little nervous at that stare. It was intense, almost intimidating. Then he replied.

“ _Could you refill the water pitcher?”_

“I... Um, sorry, what?”

“ _The food’s okay, but I haven’t mastered measuring ingredients yet. It’s more spicy than I prefer. More water, please?_ ”

“Oh, yes, gladly,” she said quickly, gathering the moisture in the air to form a small rain cloud over the pitcher. He smiled slightly at the sound of water trickling into the pitcher. She was pleased she’d put that smile there.

As Erza poured some water into his glass, Gray said, " _Thank you... You know, I’ve always liked your magic. You have command over something that can be such a powerful, even deadly, force of nature, yet life can’t exist without it. It’s dangerous, yet so giving and benevolent. When warm, it relieves pain and fatigue. When cool, it’s soothing, refreshing. A storm has no control over itself. When a powerful storm comes, yes, people should be wary. But along with its dangers comes the life giving rain. How can I find fault in something that doesn’t mean to harm me, and in fact benefits me in so many ways?”_

Juvia felt tears building up, but smiled. She understood. 

“I...I see what you mean...Thank you.

He just smiled as he took a sip of water.

* * *

Master sat at his desk, pouring over the map before him. Gajeel and Panther Lily stood on the other side, awaiting his conclusion. Levy had joined them as well, taking a break from the seal work to lend her hand in this discovery.

Master sat back, a grim look on his face.

“I can see why you’re so concerned. This is a rather strange coincidence.”

Spread out on the table was a copy of the map containing all the locations of the kill sites from their case. Since the failure of the stake out, and the unexpected cease in killings, the team had gone back over the evidence and map to see if they’d missed anything.

It was Levy who noticed it: while the others had thought the killer had always been enroute to Black Vox, she saw the slight divergence in the path the killer had originally been taking, seemingly detouring towards the mage prison, before stopping altogether.

The original path was heading straight for Iris.

Upon checking the dates, they discovered that the last murder along that first path took place days before Gray’s discharge from the hospital. Then, for whatever reason, the course shifted a few degrees, and more people were killed over the following weeks, before ending so suddenly. Right before the path stopped, a few kilometers outside of Black Vox.

Interestingly right before Arius died.

“These are significantly alarming coincidences. Do you think Arius had anything to do with these murders?” asked Lily.

“There are still too many things we don’t know yet. We can’t even hazard a guess as to motive, if he was involved. Why go through all that trouble, just to end up dying? Plus, all signs point to him dying from natural causes. He had no physical wounds to speak of, let alone a giant hole in his stomach,” said Levy.

“Maybe he did try one last trick, and it backfired on him. Wouldn't be the first time. Serves him right if he accidentally offed himself,” sneered Gajeel.

“Or maybe one of his own Shades was tracking him down, seeking revenge,” said Lily.

“No. If that was the case, why had the killer seemed hellbent on getting to Iris, only to change course when Gray was no longer there?” asked Makarov.

“You think the killer was targeting Gray?” Levy asked, worried.

“I don’t want to make any conjecture without real evidence. So far, everything here is very circumstantial. But stay alert, just in case. You’re going back after the New Year?”

“I think we may leave earlier, right after Christmas. This ain’t something we can put on hold,” said Gajeel.

“Do you think we should tell DeWalt about this?” wondered Lily.

“Let’s hold off on that,” ordered Makarov, “If Gray _is_ being targeted, the last thing he needs is a bunch of overzealous Rune Knights taking over, and supplanting his life right now. Such actions would be too much of a disruption to his recovery. And honestly, their protection would be too lacking compared to what we could do.”

“No kidding. Plus, I wouldn’t be surprised if some jackass higher-up would want to point fingers at him. There’s still a lot of bad blood among Magic Council members regarding Tartarus. Wouldn’t put it pass them to lump Gray in with the etherious, just because he can use curse powers,” observed Gajeel.

“It’s settled, then. Keep all of this to yourselves. I’ll inform Erza, Mira, and Laxus, just incase. Levy, will you be continuing your research with Freed?”

“Yes, Master. I think we’re getting close to figuring out at least some of the cypher.”

“Very well,” he sighed, taking one last look at the map before rolling it up, and storing it away, “Let us pray these precautions are unnecessary, but stay vigilant. If there really is more to this mystery than what meets the eye, then we will not let it catch us unawares.”

* * *

Gray was worried, and starting to get frustrated. He had woken from a nap several minutes ago, and was frantically searching for Joy, who had not been on his pillow like she’d usually be. She’s grown so much in the past few weeks, and she’s gotten more adventurous as well. She wasn’t responding to his clicks, and he obviously had no way of actually looking for her, or calling her name.

Natsu was no help. As soon as Gray had laid down, Natsu had locked himself in the bathroom, tub faucet running. Apparently, it was Happy’s bath night.

‘ _Did they always take this long? The hell were they making submarine sounds in there for?’_

He couldn’t just ask through the door, but it’s not like they would have seen her if they’d been locked in there all this time anyway.

‘ _Tell me I did not just hear Natsu yell cannonball.’_

**Splash!!!**

*Sigh* ‘ _Freakin idiot.’_

Just as he was about to say ‘screw it’ and interrupt their bath time, he heard a very quiet, very muffled meow.

Where did it come from? He made some more clicking sounds, and this time, she responded. It was so faint, he could barely make out a location. He continued clicking while slowly moving about, until the meowing grew stronger, closer. She sounded excited? Scared? Upset? He realized she must be trapped somewhere. Otherwise, why wouldn’t she just come to him?

He paused when he suddenly realized where the sound was coming from. She was inside his bedroom. He backed away from the door, shaking his head in denial and more than a little fear. She had to have wandered into the one room that was taboo over all others. She meowed again. She was definitely in there, and the sound, though still muffled, told him that the door was open. He debated waiting for Natsu to come out, but she could be in danger. He was having trouble moving either way, forward or back, rooted to the spot by his fear.

**He’s here**

**Always here**

He started to tremble, and wasn’t ashamed when his eyes started tearing up. He couldn’t do this. He closed his eyes, trying to slow his breathing, trying desperately to regain his composure. Joy’s plaintive cries were louder than before, and he opened his eyes, filled with a new anxiety. He couldn’t leave her in there. She was scared, and alone, and calling for him, probably wondering why he wasn’t coming. ‘ _You coward_ ,’ he thought.

Taking a deep breath, letting it out slowly, he took a tentative step forward.

‘ _Come on, you bastard. This isn’t the first time you’ve blindly faced an open door full of dark creatures of the abyss. It’s your freaking bedroom for crying out loud!’_

He took another step, and nearly crumbled, but held firm, breathing increasing, but still controlled. He focused on her frantic calls now, forgoing fear, distractions, anything else that would slow him down. Her sounds were coming from where he was sure his bed was. Bumping into it, he clicked once more. She meowed again, this time in an excited tone. She was happy he was here. But where was she?

He felt around the top of the bed. She meowed once more, and he heard a scratching sound as well. A little further towards the headboard... There.

What?

It was his violin.

The one he’d bought second hand some years ago, and played and played and played. Just another thing to help keep his molding sharp, he’d told himself. But why was it out? Had Lyon been messing with it? He felt nearby, and found the case, and the source of the scratching. Joy must have wandered in here, and got trapped in the case when it closed on her.

He opened the case, and she jumped right out, no worse for wear, immediately scampering onto his outstretched palm, then up his arm to his shoulder, where she nudged his neck and purred happily. In shear relief, his knees gave out, and he caught himself on the headboard, lowering himself to sit on the edge of the bed. He allowed Joy to explore some more, closing the case before she jumped onto the bedspread, kneading it before finding it a worthy opponent.

While she attacked the dark blue pattern with abandon, he reached for the violin. It had been a good fit to his hands at one time, almost tailor made for him. He’d sacrificed beer for a month in order to make up for the impulse buy, and it had been worth every jewel. But now, as he stroked the fine polished wood, and plucked at the strings, hearing the need for new ones, he remembered why he’d told his friends he’d never played it, not even once.

He couldn’t feel the strings. Nor could he distinguish his finger placement along the neck, nor even move them with the flexibility and dexterity needed for decent play. He couldn't even move his arm to the proper height in which to hold the bow. Not that he’d tried before now, but with how much he’d come to rely on touch in the last few months, he’d come to know what many textures felt like to his scarred hands.

He was never going to delude himself into thinking that this one thing would be the exception to the rule. And even though some part of him had indeed hoped to be surprised, he was proven right. And even though he knew without a doubt that he wouldn’t be able to play, this tangible, undeniable proof still caused a deep sense of disappointment and sadness to rise within him.

**_The cold dark night may lead astray_ **

**_But the stars beyond will light the way_ **

“Gray? What are you doing in here?”

Natsu found him in the one place he never thought he’d go, in his bedroom, sitting on the bed as if lost. His eyes were red, rimmed with tears that wouldn’t fall, and he held that violin in his lap, staring off towards the ground.

**_If you'd believe, then you would see_ **

**_So close your eyes, and trust in me_ **

Out of nowhere, his breathing hitched, and he tried to fight back the tears. But they came. And when he cried, it was almost more haunting than when he screamed, and Natsu wished he’d never had the opportunity to compare.

He rushed over and sat with him, rescuing the violin when it fell from his grasp, placing it aside. He’d neglected to return it to its rightful place earlier, having brought it out to prove to Happy that cat gut wasn’t really what he’d thought it was. Happy watched from the door, unsure of what to do, but crying all the same.

_**The lion roars and the lamb cries out**_

“Hey, what’s wrong? Why are you in here? Did you get lost or something? Let’s get you outta here. Do you need help? C’mon, say something!”

**_They reign in peace in the lands throughout_**

Gray looked up then, right at Natsu, with the most devastated look he’d ever seen on his face. It was worse than that first day he was awake at the hospital, when he’d had to help him through that panic attack. Because unlike before, when his face was still swathed in bandages, now Natsu could see the depths of sadness in his eyes.

“ _I can’t...I can’t play anymore... my hands... they can’t... they’re gone...*sob*...they’re gone, Natsu... I can’t bring them back... I can never bring them back..._ ”

**_They call to me as they call to you_**

‘ _They_?’ Natsu thought, confused. For some reason, he didn’t think Gray was talking about his hands.

He wrapped his arm around him in a protective embrace, feeling his own eyes grow wet when Gray started crying in earnest.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re gonna be fine. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay.”

**_Through the fears we face when we’re far from home_**

Gray grasped his head in his hands, crying like his parents had died all over again.

**_Hold onto me, you’re not alone_**

Because to him, they had.

* * *

**_So, same lullaby from chapter five. Hope you remember the story behind that._**

_**Gray actually made Thai beef salad, but Thailand doesn’t exist in Earthland, so I decided that the lands east of Fiore have a more Asian flare to their culture. Isval adopted a lot of their neighbors’ customs. Hence the rock gardens and fish pond. A**_ ** _lso, beef salad i_ _s awesome. If you ever see it on the menu at a Thai restaurant, try it out. Though it probably won’t be as good as my mom’s. Even my kids like it_**.

_**Next Chapter: An appearance by Sabertooth!** _


	26. Time with Friends

Lyon had become far too used to this lately. Checking the clock on the bedside table, which read just a little past 2:00 a.m., he pulled himself out of bed to investigate the shuffling sound he could hear coming from the dining room. Pausing at the door, he wasn’t surprised to find Gray sitting at the table, following the sounds of Joy’s playful chasing of a catnip mouse across the floor. If it wasn’t so evident that her presence kept him pretty calm and relatively happy, he would have considered having her stay in another room at night, so she wouldn’t disturb Gray’s sleep. Of course, there was no guarantee that he wasn’t the one keeping her awake right now.

“Were you ever able to fall asleep tonight?” he wondered.

Gray shrugged, before clicking his tongue, drawing Joy away from her game. She ran excitedly to her daddy, rubbing on his legs and purring like an engine. He picked her up by the scruff of her neck, and placed her in his lap, petting her absentmindedly.

“Can I get you anything? Water maybe? Or are you sore? I can make you some ice, or maybe heat would be better? Are those torn grafts still bothering you?”

He shook his head, and then noticed Joy had fallen asleep already. Lucky cat. He smiled. An actual smile. That was promising.

Lyon was happy to see Gray seemingly coming out of his recent bout of melancholy. That swing was different from his usual sad days. Natsu seemed privy to what caused it, but he was pretty tight lipped about it, simply shaking his head when anyone brought it up. It was getting to the point where Lyon was becoming reluctant to go home now. Every time he returned from an extended trip away, he came back to find something bad had happened.

But he was finally smiling again. That was a good start. What else could be keeping him up tonight, though? He didn’t look haunted as he usually did after a nightmare, and he wasn’t sluggish or irritable like he usually got during cases of insomnia... Could it be the upcoming procedure in a few days?

“...Are you nervous about Friday? Porlyusica double-checked with the surgeons in Calla Valley. They assured her you’d be asleep the whole time. And all the wounds from the donor sites will be closed before you wake up. Wendy will be in there throughout the whole procedure, as well.”

He already knew all of this, of course. But it sometimes helped to rehash these things. To remind him often enough, so the doubts wouldn’t have time to take root. Gray made no indication of denial, which was usually a sign that Lyon had hit the nail on the head. It made sense. What else could consume his thoughts more than the upcoming surgery to finally repair the damage done to his guild mark?

He couldn’t fault his worry. It was darkly ironic that the key component to healing his flay injury was essentially another flaying. Instead of scraping off just the upper layers of his epidermis to use as the grafts, full-thickness layers of skin would be harvested in thin strips along his thigh. At least they would only need one leg’s worth, so he’d still be somewhat mobile afterwards. Lyon was sure those reassurances did little to stem the morbid fantasies Gray’s mind may have concocted in the last few days.

“Hey, listen to me. Everything will be okay. You won’t be alone with them. Even if they were to try a last minute change in the arrangements we made, Wendy and I wouldn’t stand for it. And Cana can be downright scary when she needs to be. I promise, Wendy will be there when you fall asleep, and we’ll all be there when you wake up.”

It wasn’t much, but Lyon’s gotten pretty good at reading the slightest change in his posture or demeanor, and he was sure Gray had relaxed by a few degrees. Good. He could build on that. Deciding the little sleep he’d managed could last him until Gray finally fell asleep, Lyon pulled out a special set of Braille imprinted playing cards from a side drawer, pulled up a chair, and proceeded to deal out a game of gin rummy. This wouldn’t be the first night they’d whiled away some sleepless hours like this, and Gray could get some reading practice in as well.

* * *

- _Friday, before dawn-_

“You sure you won’t change your mind and let us come with you? Cuz we can totally blow this party, no problem!” said Natsu.

Gray gave a look that said, 'Can you be more obvious?' And replied, “ _Are you sure you’re not offering because my train ride is shorter than yours?”_

Everyone was gathered at Magnolia Station, waiting on the platform to see Gray’s party off to Calla Valley, where he would spend the whole day in the process of receiving the next round of grafts. It’s been prearranged for Wendy to accompany him in the surgical theatre for emotional support, and to assist with any questions his doctors may have throughout, regarding past treatments and medicinal needs. Lyon and Cana would be around to help with any other needs during post op recovery.

Team Natsu, on the other hand, would be sticking around for a while, waiting for a separate train to take them to visit their friends in Sabertooth, who were hosting a Christmas celebration at their guild hall. Members of several prominent guilds had also been invited, and the whole occasion was being treated as a grand opportunity to foster stronger bonds, and to encourage more inter-guild cooperation. Nothing like fighting a war together to build lasting friendships.

Going with Team Natsu were Gajeel’s and Laxus’ teams, who would all meet them at the station later in the morning. Given the lack of progress recently in the seals' research, everyone agreed that both Freed and Levy needed a well deserved chance to unwind a little. As dedicated as they both were to the task, they were initially reluctant to go. Lucy, who still joined in to help with the research whenever she could, was noticeably upset as she came up from the archives the other day, bearing the news that they'd declined their invitations. Hearing the disappointment in her voice, Gray stood from their table, Gestured _Archive_ to Lucy, and held out his hand for her to take. That was unexpected. Furtively eyeing the others for help in what to do, Natsu just shrugged, Erza made a 'shooing' motion, and Lyon Gestured that since Gray had offered, it'd be fine for her to touch him, and act as a guide.

Still, she didn't want to risk upsetting him, and asked if he was sure, receiving a stern and impatient nod. It seemed like he was more distressed at their friends' refusal than she was. Taking his hand and quickly placing it on her arm where Lyon had indicated, she felt him shudder briefly at her hand's touch, but he handled it well enough, and she led him down the stairs to Levy and Freed. Upon entering the archive, they found both mages very engrossed in their work. So much so, that neither noticed their presence until Gray walked up to the sound of rapidly turning pages and slammed the book closed, shocking Levy from her work.

" _Go to the party. This can wait until you get back."_

Recovering from her shock, Levy replied, "But this is important. You've been without your powers for so long now."

" _I appreciate your concern, but when's the last time you shared a meal with Gajeel anywhere outside of this room? When's the last time Team Shadow Gear took on a quest together? Or the entire Thunder Legion? And the air down here is stale, and moldy. You're gonna make yourselves sick. Have you even seen daylight recently?Take it from me, it's not something you ought to skip out on."_

"I hope you can forgive my incredulousness at such a speech coming from you, given your penchant for offering yourself up for your friends," said Freed, "But I'd hope you would understand our desire to put our best effort into something that would benefit you so greatly."

" _I'm not dying! Stop sacrificing your lives for me!"_

Though Lucy was unable to properly convey the emotions she saw as she translated, they could all tell from the clipped movements of his hands and the anger in his eyes that he would have yelled that if he could.

" _I've lived this long without my powers. I don't need them! What I need is for you two to live your lives for yourselves. Just go to the damn party! Spend time with your friends! Please!"_

Such an impassioned entreaty couldn't be denied.

Given his disposition, many were surprised when he didn't fight as hard for Wendy to tag along with them. It was almost a shame that she wouldn’t be going, with how rare it was to have so many dragon slayers together under one roof without there being a crisis involved. But as she'd pointed out, this appointment had been set long before there was ever a party to go to, and she was happy to go where she was most needed, even though it meant she’d miss out on seeing Chelia. Besides, Lyon was on the same boat, as he’d miss out on seeing the rest of his friends as well.

None of this was known to Gray. Everyone had been careful not to let Gray in on the fact that this was a gathering of several guilds, not just their own. The last thing anyone wanted was for him to find out what his own needs were costing Lyon and Wendy. He’d no doubt try to reschedule, which would be impossible this close to the holidays.

“This is no longer up for discussion. You are coming with us to Sabertooth. You don’t want to insult their guild master by canceling at the last minute,” Erza said.

“This is Sting we’re talking about. He wouldn’t care. He’d totally understand. At least let me use Wendy’s Troia spell!”

“Your train won’t be here for another couple of hours. My spell would wear off by then,” Wendy reminded.

“ _Suck it up, Matchstick. You won’t be seeing Gajeel and Laxus whining like this.”_

“Yeah? Neither will you, Ice cube!”

Everyone stood aghast at what Natsu just said, some looking at Gray to see how he’d react to the insensitive jab. But while Erza and Lucy were about to give Natsu a thorough tongue lashing, Gray was just grinning with a wry humor. Unlike everyone else, he appreciated Natsu’s ability to speak his mind without worrying (or more likely thinking) about hurting his feelings.

Seeing everyone’s harsh looks, Natsu thought back to what they could be mad about, and immediately backtracked.

“Wait, you got it all wrong! I was talking about how he wasn’t going with us! I wasn’t even thinking about— I mean, he gets around so well now, I keep forgetting that he can’t even see. Honest!”

Now Gray was smiling and chuckling. Yes, he really did appreciate his idiotic friend. It’s nice that some could still treat him without kids’ gloves.

Seeing his good humor, Erza relented, and Lucy made a mental note to talk to the others about maybe following Natsu’s example, and easing up on how careful they were with their words around Gray. Because that was the easiest smile she’d seen on his face in a while. It would be nice to see more of that in the future.

“Juvia is happy she made it in time!”

Running through the station and onto the platform, Juvia had obviously been in a hurry to reach them. Pausing to catch her breath, she stood up straight and held out a basket packed with food.

“Juvia prepared breakfast and snacks for your trip to Calla Valley. There’s plenty for all of you. Please enjoy it, and I hope all goes well during your trip!”

Lyon smiled as he took the proffered food. “Your generosity knows no bounds, fair Juvia. I’m sure every morsel will be beyond compare.”

Blushing, Juvia replied, “I appreciate the sentiment, Lyon-sama.” But her eyes were still on Gray.

Gray wore a soft smile as he replied, “ _Thank you. You always give your whole heart in everything you do.”_

Hearing Lyon’s interpretation, Juvia’s blush grew to cover her whole face, and it took everything she had to stop herself from hugging him. Everyone was very proud of her restraint.

The train whistle blew.

“Looks like that’s our cue. See you guys on board,” Cana said as she boarded to save some seats.

Calls to board the train were sounded up and down the platform, and everyone got ready for departures. If Gray was nervous about his first trip away from home in months, aboard a train full of strangers, he didn’t show it. All those mobility lessons had also served to be great confidence boosters. He readjusted the strap on his satchel and flicked his cane open, waiting for someone to take the lead.

Actually, he seemed the least worried of everyone as he took Lyon’s arm, who followed Cana into the passenger car, with Wendy, holding onto Joy’s carrier, following closely behind. Carla would be accompanying the others to the party. Even though Calla Valley Regional Hospital allowed service and support animals, she thought it was insulting to the real deal for her to try to pass herself off as one. Wendy just smiled at her consideration and told her to enjoy herself with her friends.

A while later, as the train was leaving the station, Natsu couldn’t hide his disappointment from the girls.

“For Heaven’s sake, it’s not like this will be the longest trip you’ve ever been on,” said Erza.

“It’s not that… It just sucks that he’s missing out…” A quick turn away, then, “Come on. The café will be open by now. Let’s get some grub.”

Knowing a dodge when they saw one, the girls, followed by Happy and Carla, allowed him his evasion. The truth was, each of them felt their own letdown at once again participating in a fun gathering, minus a member of their team. It wasn’t a coincidence that, more often than not, they all tended to find themselves at Gray’s house whenever he was absent from the guild. None of them could ever give a reason to justify their presence. Not for his sake, at least. He never complained, so they’d just let themselves in.

None of them made the connection that they were often there for their own sakes. They drew comfort and satisfaction from being there, all of them together, as they ought to be. But today, they would be dining and socializing with some of their favorite people in the world, while one of the most important persons in their lives would be many cities away, convalescing in a strange hospital room, away from his best friends.

But he had insisted they not plan every aspect of their lives around him, and they had promised to have fun. If their enjoyment was in any way a requirement for him to feel better, then fun they would have.

Still, it would have been nice if he could’ve come.

* * *

- _Sabertooth guild hall, early afternoon-_

 **SPLASH**!!!

The party was in full swing. Imagine the surprise of all the guests when they came into the Sabertooth guild hall, only to discover… not your typical Christmas decorations. For one thing, it was a beach party. In mid December. Sting and his antics. What could you say? That would explain why he’d requested Fairy Tail’s entourage to arrive before all the other guilds. Natsu and Juvia have both been enthusiastically fulfilling their roles as pool heaters all morning. It’s always nice being able to use one’s powers to bring joy to others.

Sabertooth’s guild master had even generously provided swimwear for all the guests, gifts for them to keep, as the nature of the party had been a surprise. Who knew Yukino’s celestial spirit, Libra, had such a keen eye for body measurements as well as weight? While many guests were enjoying the unexpected pleasures of summertime activities so close to Christmas, others were enjoying the lavish food spread throughout the hall, provided by Minerva, who was currently trying to get enough people to enter with her in a food eating contest.

On a circular stage placed in the center of the hall was a live band. Orga was headlining, with Lamia Scale’s Chelia singing backup. No one from Fairy Tail was surprised to see Gajeel join in the performance, with mixed results. Most of the mages from other guilds were surprised to see all the Fairies quickly disperse before the men actually started singing, except for the small blue-haired mage who had made herself comfortable close to the dragon slayer. None noticed her insert the pair of solid script: ear plugs into her ears as she smiled her encouragement to the grinning singer.

While most were enjoying (regretting) the show, Lucy was mingling with other guests in the courtyard, where the aforementioned eating contest was getting set up. At the moment, foods of all assortments were being piled on top of a long table, and Lucy wondered what exactly was the criteria for judging who would win.

With all the different kinds of foods, were they just supposed to eat until they keeled over? Was it based on weight? Total calories consumed? Would they take turns one-upping each other, starting small and gradually building up to grander feats of outrageous challenges? Lucy had the feeling that this was one event in which the journey was more sought out than the destination. Natsu certainly wouldn’t mind an excuse to pig out in the name of competition. Speaking of which—

“Let’s get this contest started! I’m all fired up!”

Lucy giggled at Natsu’s enthusiasm. She was glad his mood had brightened since parting ways with Gray and the others this morning. With the others now in her thoughts, she checked her watch, seeing it was almost one o’clock.

‘ _He should be getting out of surgery soon.’_

“I see Natsu-san is as lively and full of energy as ever. And the mighty Titania has only grown more lovely since the last time we’d had occasion to meet. Good afternoon, Lucy-san. You’re most radiant today, as well.”

Lucy smiled as her gaze met Hibiki’s, Blue Pegasus’ resident Archive Mage.

“Hibiki-san, it’s great to see you. Where’s the rest of your team?” She asked, looking around.

“Eve, Ren, and Shelly-san are enjoying the pool at the moment, while Ichiya-sama has found a suitable place to watch Erza-san’s performance in the eating competition,” he replied, indicating with a slight nod towards front and center of the stage.

Hearing that Ichiya was in such close proximity to Erza, and that she was also taking part in the contest, she looked back towards the competitors’ table, seeing that the contest had already started. It wasn't long before it looked like Natsu was giving the Sabertooth team a run for their money, but Erza looked like she was trying to pile the food in front of her even higher, attempting to hide behind the ever-growing tower of edibles.

Looking to the crowd in front of her friend, Lucy had no problem finding the cause of her distress. Ichiya was up to his usual antics, trying to garner cheers for Erza from his neighboring spectators, and spouting off loud accolades of his “Honey’s sweet parfume”. She could only shake her head in amusement.

“I was hoping you could tell me where Levy-san is,” stepping closer, lowering his voice, he continued, “I may have found some references pertaining to those magic sealing runes she’s been working on.”

Now he had her full attention.

“You mean…?”

“It’s not much, so don’t get too excited. It was just a scrap of parchment, but I recognized some of the runes that I had only ever seen in that seal, along with possible translations. Only a few, mind you, but every little bit helps.”

“They absolutely do. I can’t thank you enough! I can’t believe you went to so much trouble. You’re amazing!”

“Think nothing of it. I also found some more literatures that might be useful. Of particular interest was one old volume of legends and folktales, containing copies of several diary entries, detailing an incident that happened in an unnamed village centuries ago. They mention something about a demon being run out of the village. The thing that caught my eye was the description of the demon: ‘A form like unto a man it took, its skin unblemished and clean, until darkness manifested, as an evil taint upon its flesh.’”

He allowed Lucy a few moments to repeat those words in her head, and he could see the realization dawn in her eyes.

“The darkness manifests on the skin. Like how Gray’s skin turns black when… Do you think it’s talking about a demon slayer?” she asked, full of hopeful wonder.

“Like I said, there were just a few diary entries, and they weren’t the original manuscript, just copies. I’m not even sure if there’s anything else pertaining to that incident in the rest of the book, but I’m no linguist. I can't guarantee how good a job I did translating that passage either.”

“Whatever you found, I’m sure Levy can use it. This'll make her feel better about coming here. She's been working tirelessly trying to figure these puzzles out, and she and Freed have been in a stalemate the last couple of weeks. Thank you so much,” she replied, pulling Hibiki into a hug. He wasn’t one to refuse.

They were interrupted by a ring from Lucy’s com lacrima.

Pulling away, they both smiled good-naturely as she viewed who was calling her. Her eyes lit up.

“Please excuse me. I’ve been expecting this call. I’ll tell Levy you’re looking for her. Thanks again!” Turning and walking towards a more quiet spot, Lucy answered with a nervously excited sounding, “Hey, Wendy. How did it go?”

ooooo

Up in the rafters of the guild hall, a trio of interlopers were observing the proceedings, waiting for their comrades to return. It wasn’t hard to reach this secret alcove high above, where none but the most attuned could know of their presence. They didn’t have long to wait, as their accomplices were quickly approaching. It was wise to send only two out for this important raid, as a larger group would have drawn more attention. Fortunately for them, the rowdy party goers were too distracted, and none too wise of the secret goings-on of their two companions. They were here!

“Did you find any kiwi?!”

“You bet we did! A whole bunch of it. It wouldn’t be a beach party without a variety of tropical fruit!”

“Fro thinks so, too!”

“And fish?!”

“Fresh off the grill!”

The exceeds were enjoying their own private party, away from the raucous noise and half drunken crowds. As used to this kind of insanity as they were in their own guilds, having so many people from so many different guilds, together in one place, took the crazy to a whole new level. Lector and Frosch had returned from their very important mission, a food run, with a sack overflowing with all sorts of goodies.

As they ate, Happy, Carla, and Panther Lily couldn’t miss the wary looks their two companions kept giving towards the crowds below. Curious, Happy asked, “Are you looking for someone?”

Lector, a little embarrassed at having his vigilance called out, grinned and replied, “More like keeping a lookout. Sting-kun invited Mermaid Heel to the party as well. We’re keeping an eye out for that cat lady. She’s tried to kidnap both of us at one point or another.”

Maybe kidnapped was too strong a word, but her enthusiasm was no less jarring.

“You mean Millianna! Yeah, she actually did kidnap me once. Took me all the way to her home on some creepy island. While we were there, Natsu turned into a cat!” cried Happy.

“The way I heard it, he got his head stuck in a giant cat mask. But now that I think about it, she got pretty handsie with us once, too, during the ball in Crocus after the Grand Magic Games,” Lily replied, sharing a look with Carla as he munched on a kiwi.

Now all five of them were on the lookout for overly zealous cat fanatics. Though not all of them for the same reasons.

“Fro likes being snuggled.”

“Yeah, I know that, Fro. But you’re really trusting, and we have to keep an eye out for people who might take advantage of that,” answered Lector.

“Fro thinks so, too!”

“Though I wonder what humans get out of it. Sure, we’re all so soft and cuddly, and I think everyone can agree that we’re the best companions to have around. But I don’t think that justifies catnapping.”

Happy had an oddly contemplative look on his face, which Lily noticed.

“What do you think, Happy?”

A little shy at his sudden drop into the spotlight, he took a little extra time to chew on his fish before he answered.

“I think that maybe...we make humans feel better? Like having us around makes them less scared, and not as lonely. And maybe they feel better when they’re petting us, and not so anxious or sad. We bond with our friends, and support them when they need us, and they never have to doubt whether we love them or not… That’s what I think, at least,” he finished quietly.

That was more insightful and serious than they were used to, coming from Happy, but Lily wasn’t all that surprised.

“You’re talking about Gray.”

That observation was followed by nods of understanding from everyone, and an unease fell upon their group. Many members of Sabertooth had volunteered for the massive inter-guild search and rescue operation to find Gray all those months ago. In fact, it was that very mission, in which Sting saw first hand the lengths all those wizards had been willing to go through, in order to help in the search for a mage that wasn't even one of their own, that he’d felt the inspiration to seek after more cooperation between the guilds.

But even though Sting and Rogue were well aware of the details of that endeavor, and its aftermath, they had both been very tight-lipped about sharing those details with their exceed companions. Lector could understand not wanting to share such things with Frosch, but he liked to think that he had a much stronger constitution, and could handle the truth just fine. But he wouldn’t doubt Sting in this.

“Fro wishes Gray was here.”

Great! Now Frosch was sad. Rogue was gonna kill him.

“We understand,” Carla began, “but you know he couldn’t afford to put off his trip to Calla Valley. I’m sure he’d have loved to be here, though.” She left it unsaid that he probably wouldn’t have fared well among so many people anyway, regardless of how much he probably wished he could.

The exceeds of Sabertooth had been present when the entourage from Fairy Tail had arrived that morning, and had already heard the reasons for Gray’s absence. Most would have been more surprised if he had come. Still, after hearing rumors of what happened to him, Frosch was looking forward to seeing for himself that Gray was okay.

“We’re having so much fun, but he can’t have fun with us. Fro doesn’t want him to be sad.”

Though the other four were sometimes astonished by Frosch's ease at accepting new friends, and forming bonds with people he very seldom saw, none of them doubted his feelings. They may have only interacted on rare occasions, but in those few times, Gray had very bluntly and enthusiastically shown his adoration and affection for the little green cat. As he thought about it, Happy realized that those interactions were some of the few times he’d actually seen Gray smile so freely. And Frosch was one of those creatures who could return love with ease. No wonder he was missing him.

Carla was sympathetic, and after giving it some thought, came up with an idea.

“Why don’t you send a gift, then? To let him know how much you wish he was here. We can take it to him when we return to Magnolia.”

“That’s a great idea, Carla! I bet he’d love this grilled flounder!” cried Happy.

“I’m fairly certain he prefers his fish still swimming,” answered Lily.

“Well of course. Fresh fish is the yummiest!” replied Happy, not quite reading between the lines.

“Perhaps something more practical, like a card or something,” said Carla.

“I thought Gray-san couldn’t see,” said Lector.

“He likes having letters read to him,” supplied Carla.

“Well, Frosch isn’t a strong writer, but I guess he could draw a picture. What do you think, Fro?”

Looking around, they discovered that Frosch had disappeared on them.

“Not again! Rogue is really gonna kill me now!” cried Lector.

“Relax,” said Lily, ever watchful of his surroundings, “He’s climbing down the rafters right over there.”

Pointing right behind Lector, they all turned to see Frosch sliding down a support beam to the floor below. Taking a moment to look around for wayward cat ladies, they all sprouted wings to catch up, releasing their magic as they joined him on the ground.

“Where ya headed to, Frosch?” asked Lector.

“Fro wants to see Rogue!”

Seeing their friend was on a mission, the rest of them shrugged and followed along. It would be easier, at least, to keep Frosch safe from overly excited mermaid cats if they all stuck together.

ooooo

After their set was over, Orga and Chelia took a break to allow other acts to perform. Singing with Orga had been fun, but Chelia was wishing the whole time that it was Wendy on stage with her. She understood that her friend had important responsibilities, but still…

“Well looky there. Just the two biggest bad-asses I was hoping to see here.”

At Orga’s words, Chelia looked towards where he was looking, and had caught sight of Jura talking to Laxus. Exhorting a promise out of Orga that he not try to start any “friendly competitions” with either of the high class mages, Chelia was happy to play liaison between her new singing buddy and her guild mate.

Gajeel and Levy, meanwhile, headed towards the courtyard where most of their friends were milling about. Levy was soon intercepted by Lucy, who pointed her towards Hibiki, who was waiting by the wet bar, two drinks in hand. Before Gajeel could let out a territorial growl, Lucy assured them both that Hibiki’s interests were purely mission-related. Levy was also quick to point out her many years of experience in turning down amorous entreaties from Jet and Droy. She’d have no problems turning down any propositions from the Blue Pegasus mage.

Lucy took Gajeel over to meet with Erza, eager to tell her the news she’d heard from Wendy. Erza, meanwhile, was talking to Sting and Rogue, all three of them having yielded the food eating competition to the two finalists, Natsu and Minerva. Yukino had joined them after having her fill of swimming for the day, and had already called upon Libra to take care of the results of their overindulgence. While the two remaining gluttons had their fun, Lucy wondered whatever happened to Ichiya. Surely he wouldn’t have lost sight of Erza so easily.

“I’d convinced him that I was unable to perform at my best in the competition due to the lack of strawberry-featured delicacies. He is now on a self-assigned mission to seek out the 'perfect strawberry confectionary' to bring back for me,” Erza explained.

“I suppose it’s not unreasonable that he wouldn’t be well versed in the growing seasons of strawberries,” Rogue added.

After the girls shared a mutual laugh, Lucy sobered and shared what Wendy had called about.

“Gray got through the procedure itself just fine, but because he insisted on being sedated, he’s gonna be out for a while. The doctors had to use drugs that wouldn’t counteract with his meds, and the only thing they had that wouldn’t hurt him was pretty powerful, so he’s gonna be staying a day longer than anticipated.”

“That’s a shame,” lamented Erza, “I had hoped we could all meet up together when we got home tonight. I was going to bring back a basket of food from the party so he could enjoy it with us. Perhaps that way, he wouldn’t feel completely left out.”

“That’s a great idea. Take all you want, we’ve got plenty. I really wish we could do more. I’m still reeling from what happened. That would have been some major shit to deal with if that necromancer had gotten his way. I’m sorry for what Gray’s going through still. Can’t even imagine. You let him know that if there’s ever anything we can do for him, don’t hesitate to call on us,” offered Sting.

“He’ll appreciate it, thank you. But don’t let that news get you down. Wendy says it’s not that big a deal to have to stay longer. He’ll probably be awake in a few hours. The extra day is just a precaution, until all the sedatives are out of his system. She says the grafts look good so far. She’s confident they’ll survive, but she’ll be checking on them frequently in the coming weeks to make sure,” Lucy assured.

“That’s good to hear. So, speaking of dealing with major...excrement” (Sting had to hide the snicker at Rogue’s reluctance to curse in polite company), “Gajeel, we’ve been following the news about the serial murders up north. Anything you’re allowed to tell us about them?” asked Rogue.

Chancing a glance at Erza, who gave a subtle shake of her head, Gajeel answered, “Not much I can say that hasn’t been shared with the press, but keep your eyes and ears open. We could use more vigilance out there. Whoever this killer is, they hide their tracks stupidly well.”

Just then, Natsu and Minerva came through the parting crowd, each of them grinning from ear to ear, Natsu rubbing his enormous belly.

“So who won?” asked Lucy.

“We both won!” cheered Natsu.

“More like we were unable to continue after the food ran out. But if you want to continue our match with the party food, we can finally declare a true winner,” Minerva challenged.

Before Natsu could shout out a “Bring it on!”, they were interrupted by a very focused group of exceeds, led by an excited Frosch, who leapt into Rogue’s arms, quickly declaring his intentions.

“Fro wants to go shopping!”

Seeing Rogue’s confused look, Lector explained, “Since Gray-san couldn’t come to the party, we all wanted to get him a present!”

Erza beamed. “That is so considerate of you. He would appreciate your thoughts immensely.”

“That’s fine, Frosch, but we’re the ones hosting this party. We can’t leave all our guests just to go on a shopping spree,” reasoned Yukino.

“What’s the big deal? Just take ‘em to the gift shop,” suggested Sting.

“You guys have a gift shop?” asked Lucy.

“Doesn’t every guild? Go ahead, Frosch. Since it’s you, just take what you want, on the house,” offered Sting, ignoring Yukino’s admonishment that, even as the guild master, he didn't really have the authority to allow freebies from the store.

“Yay!” cried Frosch.

A quick trip through the crowded guildhall allowed for several meet ups with long-time-no-see friends from the other guilds. More than one exceed breathed a sigh of relief when their group had encountered Kagura and Milliana as they were on their way to the pool, thereby going in opposite directions from their own group. No one missed how tightly Rogue held onto Frosch during their exchange of pleasantries.

Lucy had to enlist Gajeel to pull Natsu away when he’d tried to demand his right to “take on the winner” upon seeing Orga and Laxus engaged in a fierce arm wrestling match. While Bickslow and Freed cheered their leader on, Evergreen stood by an exasperated Chelia and an amused Jura, wondering if she should’ve been taking bets.

They soon came to the gift shop. Natsu very quickly zeroed in on a collection of action figures featuring the Sabertooth team from the Grand Magic Games. He bought it for himself, purely (mostly) for the purpose of convincing Max, their own marketing expert, that they so needed to start selling sets featuring their own GMG teams. After perusing the sizable variety of Sabertooth merchandise, Frosch found the perfect gift. Happy even found a little something for his “niece”, Joy.

“He’s gonna love it. That’s one of our most popular items!” said Sting.

“Now Fro can visit Gray! Let’s go, Rogue!”

“Wait, what? But we’re still, I mean, there’s still the party. And Calla Valley is a couple hours away by train.”

“But we need to give Gray his gifts,” Frosch said meekly.

“Hey, it’s no problem. We can take them to him when he gets back tomorrow,” appeased Natsu.

“But Fro wants him to feel better now. When Fro was lost, he wanted to help me right away."

Wanting to forestall Rogue from tearing up (once again) at the mention of Frosch’s solo misadventure throughout the town, and hoping to instill even more goodwill between their guilds, Sting announced, “Heck yeah, we can go see him now! Minerva and Yukino can take care of hosting the rest of the party!”

“It would be my honor,” said Minerva, already picturing the implementation of the delightful “Guild Master” party game Erza had been telling her about. Yukino was already worried.

“You guys are really spoiling him,” Rogue murmured about Frosch.

“If you’re planning a visit, then why don’t we all go? I know there’s a part of him that wishes he could have been here today, so it'll be a nice surprise. But we don’t need to leave right away. Like I said, Gray won’t be awake for hours. Let him get settled before we go barging into the place,” suggested Lucy.

“An excellent point. This way, you won’t have to leave your guests so soon, and we have more time for party games,” Erza finished, locking competitive eyes with Minerva, who’s quirked eyebrows communicated her accepting of the challenge.

Natsu decided Juvia would appreciate a break from heating the pool, while Lucy felt like another swim was in order. The Fairy Tail exceeds found other very important things to do at that moment, and left Erza and the others to their fun, Happy grabbing hold of Lector and Frosch in his departure (escape). Sting looked intrigued, and was eagerly anticipating whatever challenge the ladies were cooking up. Gajeel, seeing the opportunity, pulled Rogue aside for a private chat, now that his other guild mates weren’t within earshot.

“I couldn’t say in front of the others, but we suspect that the killer may be targeting Gray.”

Eyes going wide, Rogue cast his glance around before answering in a whisper, “Does he know the victims or something?”

“Ha! We actually looked into that. Just my team, mind you. For reasons, we don’t want the Magic Council’s involvement in this. I had Mira look through guild records, to see if maybe Gray ever had any missions involving the victims, but nothing came up. Far as we can tell, nothing ties him to them.”

“Then why do you think he’s a target?”

“Too much info to share out here. Just trust me when I say a lot of things point that way. You can let Sting know, but for now, I’d rather keep this between us. Not even his team knows except for Erza. We’re not one hundred percent sure about what’s going on, so we don’t want Natsu and Lucy going overboard with protecting him. We’ll bring them in if anything changes”

“Sounds like you haven’t even told Gray.”

“Like he really needs to deal with this crap right now?”

“That’s probably wise. So what do you need from us?”

That was why Gajeel saw the wisdom in bringing the Twin Dragons in on this. There was no second guessing or hesitation in Rogue’s offer to help. It sure as hell wouldn’t hurt to have the backing of another powerful guild in this, and Gajeel couldn’t think of anyone better than that of his fellow dragon slayers.

“Just keep yourselves aware. For some reason, the murders have stopped. That only happens for two reasons: Either the killer chose to put their killing spree on hold, or something made them do so. With the kind of powers we suspect them to have, I don’t see just anyone coming along and putting them down.”

“So you think they chose to stop the killings? Why would they?”

“Most likely, they reached some kind of goal, or found what they were looking for. If that’s the case, maybe Gray won’t have too much to worry about, which is another reason we’re not telling him. No reason to stress him out even more than he already is over what could be nothing. Still, there are just too many factors involved that tie him to this case. I ain’t letting my guard down.”

“Okay. I’ll let Sting know. If anything happens, we’ll back you up.”

“Appreciate it.”

Seeing a smiling Levy approaching with a small stack of worn out books in her hands, Gajeel nodded his goodbye and headed out to meet her, offering to carry the load for her. Rogue couldn’t help his grin at witnessing the slight blush on Gajeel’s face as Levy passed him the books, along with a kiss to his cheek in gratitude.

Taking his leave, he decided to sniff out Frosch’s location so they could hang out together for a while. All this talk about serial murders and danger to their friends had left him a little on edge. A few moments of basking in Frosch’s adorableness ought to make things right again. Still, he couldn’t escape the sense of foreboding that conversation had left within him.

* * *

_**I apologize if the flow of this and the next chapter seems rushed. I hadn't planned on writing a chapter featuring Sabertooth, or the extended hospital scene coming up, but my eldest daughter insisted I needed Frosch to appear. Don't even know why I indulged her, as she won't be allowed to read this story until she's older, but I like how it turned out, and what it adds to the overall narrative. It's nice to see some cameos as well. I might come back later on and add more details to the party, but for now, it'll do.** _

_**Next chapter: Cana's got something weighing her down. And cats bearing gifts are always welcome!** _


	27. Longing to be Together

“Three of clubs.”

Taking a moment to feel the cards in his immobilized hand once more, Gray opted for the top card from the draw pile, keeping what he found, and tossing a seven of hearts on top of the discard pile.

Just as Wendy had promised, Gray had slept through the whole procedure, waking up in this bed several hours before. He sat propped up now, right arm in a sling for support and to limit movement along that side of his chest. His left leg was raised at the knee, a freezing bandage provided by Lyon wrapped around his thigh. As a full thickness graft, the skin that was needed had been harvested once more from his leg. Small patches down to the muscle had been fully removed, the incisions pulled and stitched together afterwards. He'd have a slight limp when he went home, but that wouldn't last long.

The whole right side of his chest was even more numb than he’d grown used to. That injury had initially required regular visits to the more-modern wound care clinic in Magnolia, due to the techniques used to keep the starter graft in place. The padding that had been stitched into his skin to protect the exposed muscle, and to keep the thin layer of implanted blood vessels underneath from detaching, had to be strictly observed throughout his recovery by a team of professionals well trained in the technology. He'd grown used to the lack of sensation over that spot in the last few months, except for the odd hollowness there. But tonight, due to whatever the surgeons had him on, he couldn't even feel his shoulder, let alone move it, and he'd be sent home with prefilled vials of the same drugs, to inject as needed for the next few days.

He had absolutely no desire to know what the wound looked like now, and wouldn’t let anyone tell him. He’d never felt that particular curiosity, honestly, and was just a little grateful that he’d never had the opportunity to see the results of that thing’s handy work.

Gray and Cana waited as Wendy thought about her own cards. After checking with Gray to make sure he was okay with being left alone with Cana, Lyon had stepped out a little while ago after receiving a call, saying he’d be back after running an errand. It was a good thing he had thought to bring these cards, and left them with Cana, or she would have felt a little awkward, being the only one among their present group who hadn’t learned enough Gesture Speak to have a real conversation with him. Not to mention that he could only Gesture with one hand right now. She’d have to one day fuss at him and Loke both for not letting her in on their lip reading shenanigans.

They had played a few nice, if quiet, games of black jack together, until Wendy had returned from talking with the surgeons about at-home recovery. Now they were taking the time to teach Wendy how to play gin rummy. She sat on the edge of the bed, feeling silly each time she made the effort to hide her cards from Gray, as he could have easily seen them from this angle if he had the ability to do so. Joy was currently perched in the crook of his arm, hidden inside the sling, sleeping soundly.

On the one hand, Cana was relieved that Wendy had come when she had. During her time alone with Gray, Cana had been feeling a little guilty at the secret she was forced to keep from him. Now here she was, far from home, in this cold, sterile room, because her friend had gone through a type of surgery that was, no doubt, way too reminiscent of the cause of the very injury the surgeons had been trying to repair. And she was fully aware of exactly who had inflicted that injury, but knew Gray would never want to talk about it. Wendy’s presence was a welcomed hindrance in that regard.

On the other hand, a small part of her wished that Wendy had come in just a few minutes later, as she had been so close to just getting this secret out. She knew it would have been a mistake. She knew that Gray would more likely than not withdraw from her, or react in anger or hurt, or worse of all, deny the veracity of her claims. She knew he was still too vulnerable right now, too traumatized, too overwhelmed with everything that he’d already gone through, to be able to deal with the source of these struggles.

Still, she felt like she was somehow being dishonest in every interaction she had with him now. To her, it was tantamount to having an affair with Alzack while acting like all was normal while talking to Bisca. She had wished, for just a moment, that she’d had the strength to blurt out the secret that felt like a growing chasm between their friendship, even though he wasn’t aware such a chasm existed. Anything to be released from this gut-wrenching feeling she felt so often now while around him. Even if it would cause him pain.

It was that stray thought that made her glad for Wendy’s presence once more. As much as it pained her to keep this secret, she never wanted to be the cause of any grief for him. Also, she may not be strong enough to bring this secret into the light, but maybe she didn’t need to be. Maybe bearing this burden for him required just as much strength.

Master was right. He had so many things to deal with right now. He didn’t need this crap on top of it all. It was good enough, for now, that at least some of them knew. Those who knew could understand his pain just a little bit more, and help him bear that burden in a way the others couldn’t. At the very least, she could be that much less confused at some of his triggered reactions as she’d seen his teammates act at times.

All these thoughts took place as Wendy was deciding that she didn’t need a seven of hearts, taking a card from the draw pile. She discarded a four of diamonds, calling it out for Gray’s benefit, making it Cana’s turn once more. Picking up the four, Cane dropped her next card, smiling at the near perfect hand she held. She looked at Gray as she called out the ten of clubs.

And kept looking, as he wasn’t moving to take a card from either pile. His eyes were closed, but that wasn’t new. They had been since before Wendy came in, but neither of the girls commented. Coming out of sedation not too long ago, he was probably still worn out, and didn’t even notice they’d been closed. But now he wasn’t responding. Sharing a worried look with Wendy, she called out again.

“Gray!”

He startled, eyes open now, and looked around sheepishly, liked he’d just been daydreaming.

“ _Sorry. What card?”_

“I said ten of clubs.”

“... _You sure you wanna play that?_ ” he asked, one eyebrow raised.

Relieved that he seemed normal now, she replied in a teasing manner, “Don’t forget who taught you how to play. I know what cards I need to win.”

With a small smirk, he answered, “ _So do I. But you won’t find them. Gin_ ,” he proclaimed, laying all his cards down, including the ten of clubs in the mix. True to his word, he also held a pair of cards that Cana had needed to win.

While Cana gave a profanity-laced “You’ve gotta be kidding me!”, Wendy snickered in amusement. Gray just sat there, gently petting and prodding Joy’s tiny hind paw that stuck out from inside the sling. Neither girl thought he looked proud of his win, and Cana called him out on it.

“What’s the matter, Gray? You bored with our company already?” she joked.

“ _Yes_.”

No hesitation, no cheeky grin. He was serious.

“Well, damn. That was harsh.”

“ _Sorry. It’s just...you’re both so quiet. As soon as Lyon left, you pulled out the cards, and it’s just been numbers and suits. I thought maybe Wendy would encourage you to talk, but… Usually, you can talk enough for the both of us. I thought maybe something was wrong.”_

‘ _Damn_ ,’ she thought upon hearing Wendy’s interpretation, ‘ _How the hell can he be so observant without sight? Not fair at all.’_

Once again, Cana’s been handed the opportunity to speak her mind, and reveal her anxious thoughts from just a few moments before. And once again, she knew enough to keep her mouth shut, especially with Wendy still there. Would she have brought up the knowledge of his mom if the young dragon slayer wasn’t present? She honestly didn’t know.

So instead, she lied.

“No, nothing’s wrong! I just didn’t want you to feel left out when you couldn’t join in my senseless rambling. That’s all.”

“... _So I am the reason for the awkward silence_.”

‘ _Crap! I said exactly the wrong thing!_ ’ she thought, unable to get an apology out before he continued.

“ _I’m sorry you were put in that position. We should have thought to wait for Wendy to come back before Lyon left on his errand.”_

‘ _Holy f*cking shit! Now he’s taking on all the blame over an excuse that I just made up!’_

“It’s not like that at all! I’m sorry… You’re right. I was just… thinking about something. I just didn’t want to… I’m not sure if… dammit! Look, I’m sorry, I’m probably about to make the most foolish, selfish, stupidest mistake of my life, but—“

“ _It’s okay._ ”

She looked up, startled, unsure if it was Gray or Wendy who had actually interjected. But as she focused on Wendy, the young girl was facing Gray, wanting to take in every word he spoke.

_“If you’re so conflicted on what you need to say, maybe you’re not ready to say it yet. But if you ever need someone to listen, I’ve gotten pretty good at that lately,” he reassured._

And now her momentum was gone, and she’d lost her resolve. So be it.

‘ _It’s more a question of if you’re ready to hear it_ ,’ was her distressed thought, before she answered, “Thanks. I’ve always known I could come to you… But you have a point. I’m not ready,”-- ‘ _You’re not ready. Or I’m just a f*cking coward_ ,’-- “But when I am, you’ll be the first to know.”

“ _Okay… So, another game? Maybe with a little more conversation this round? You might beat me this time_ ,” he teased.

“Before we do, what was that earlier?” Wendy wondered, “I was worried for a second when you wouldn't respond.”

He gave a tired grin as he answered, “ _I was visualizing the cards in my hand, along with yours, based on what you two called out. I knew we both happened to need the same set of cards to win, which I held. I also knew Wendy had mostly low scoring cards. She was playing cautiously, understandable while playing against you. I’d just been keeping that constantly changing picture of random cards in my head, and I started zoning out… Which is why, if you’d kept up a little chatter, you maybe could have distracted me at least.”_

…

…

“Show off,” Cana grumbled good naturely. She would have continued, passing it off as him having an unfair advantage due to his being a maker mage, which required superior imagination and mental thought processes, but she held back. No one ever brought up his magic in casual conversation these days.

Wendy giggled, then became the adult in the room when she realized he hadn’t just been zoning out. His posture had gradually grown more relaxed throughout their game, and his eyes were drooping closed again. They’d kept him up long enough.

She was about to call it a night when she smelled them. Cana caught her sudden alertness, turning her head towards the door, knowing Wendy must have sensed someone coming.

“Is Lyon finally back?”

“...Yes… Along with the rest of the team…” she answered, before her eyes widened in surprise and joy. She jumped off the bed, her excitement overshadowing her previous attempt at maturity, and flung open the door before Lyon could grasp the door knob. Smiling knowingly, he held up a hand placatingly, trying to keep the noise level down. He looked over her shoulder to make sure Gray was sufficiently dressed in his hospital tunic, knowing he’d very likely have a melt down if his scars were exposed to all these unexpected guests, before fully opening the door.

Gray had become more alert at the mention of his team’s arrival. Why had they come here? The original plan was to meet back home in Magnolia after his discharge in the afternoon. That plan, of course, was canceled after finding out he’d have to stay overnight, but they didn’t have to come all the way out here. He would have been back home by lunchtime tomorrow. What time was it? Did they leave the party early to come here?

His contemplations were halted by the excited squeals of girlish delight as Wendy cried out, “Chelia!”

“I knew your sense of smell would ruin the surprise, but here I am! Sky Sisters, unite!”

“Good to see you’re up now, Icee Pop! Guess what? We brought guests!”

“Keep it down, Natsu. We’re in a hospital!” demanded Erza.

Lyon wasn’t too worried. After receiving the call about the team’s imminent arrival, he had rushed to the train station in order to brief them on what to expect, and to lay down some ground rules for the visit: Keep the volume down, no sudden movements or loud noises, no crowding around, and not too much excitement. But he also reminded them not to be too overly concerned by how Gray may appear or act, and to try to be normal when they interacted with him. He may be blind, but he could sense sympathy from a mile away, and he hated it.

Hearing Wendy’s and Chelia’s excitement in their reunion, Gray started to relax. Of course his friends would go out of their way to come here. He should have expected this. What he was not expecting was all the extra magical auras he was sensing. Trying not to let anxiety take hold, he asked, “ _Who else is here?”_

At Natsu’s interpretation, Sting smacked himself in the head after remembering he should have announced himself and the rest of his team as soon as they got there, but it’s not like that was something he was used to doing.

“My bad! It’s just me and Rogue, and our little buddies of course. Frosch and Lector wanted to come visit, since you couldn’t make it to the party.”

At the announcement of the little exceeds’ company, his face lit up, and he relaxed immediately, which his friends were relieved to see.

Unable to sit still any longer, Frosch wiggled out of Rogue’s arms and hopped onto the bed, heedless of Rogue’s frantic, whispered warnings not to do anything to startle Gray. Lyon held him back with a gentle shake of his head, saying he’d forgotten to mention that children and animals weren’t a bother.

While Gray was absolutely giddy with having Frosch in his good arm, nodding agreeably to whatever bit of chatter the little cat was saying, Happy and Lector approached with a gift bag dragging between them. The humans were relegated to the background, completely forgotten by the gathering taking place on the bed. They really couldn’t complain, and each found a place to lean or sit and watch the heartwarming moment before them.

Wendy, collecting herself after the surprise reunion with Chelia, as well as Carla, remembered her self-imposed duty as Gray’s voice, and soon joined the mini-party in their midst. She led her friend over, letting Gray know who was with her, and that she was there if he needed to speak.

Nodding a thanks to Wendy and a greeting in Chelia’s direction, he looked back towards the exceeds and said, “You really didn’t need to come, but I appreciate it all the same. You being here makes me feel a lot better. All of you,” he finished, looking up.

“We’re just happy to see everything went well, all things considered,” said Carla, “These three just couldn’t be satisfied unless they saw you in person.”

“ _Three_?” Taking a quick mental roll call, he asked, “ _Is Panther Lily not here?”_

“He and Gajeel stayed to keep Juvia company,” supplied Lucy, “Someone had to remain to keep the pool heated.”

He raised an eyebrow at that. “ _You guys threw a pool party in the middle of December?”_

“Hey, we Sabertooth mages like to live life on the edge!” exclaimed Sting.

Though no one really agreed with the sentiment that swimming in the wintertime was all that edgy (there were two ice mages among them, after all), no one corrected him.

“... _The water must have felt nice…”_

No one was sure if he meant to say that in a longing way or not. Maybe wistful? That was the problem with lip reading; if he didn’t want to convey emotion, he could be the most stoic man they’d ever met, and the lack of a voice made it impossible to tell from tonal clues.

“Fro thinks so, too!”

Grinning at Frosch’s ever-happy catchphrase, Gray decided that one couldn’t have too much cuteness, and clicked his tongue. Frosch and Lector were a little confused at the sudden action, but he didn't notice, and just chuckled as he felt the little stow-a-way in his sling try to turn around and squirm her way out. As stoic as he was prone to be, he couldn’t hide the delight he felt at the reactions of the Sabertooth exceeds at their first meeting with Joy.

As soon as she popped her head out, there were “Awwws” and claims of “she’s so adorable” from all around. He picked her up and held her out for someone to take, expecting either Frosch or Lector to be the first. To his bemusement, it was Rogue who rushed in, sweeping her out of Gray’s hand and hugging her to his face, absolutely bubbly over her.

With amused snickering from his friends and cries of adoration in the background, Gray turned back to his visitors, asking, “ _So what’s in the bag?”_

Figuring he must have heard the paper crinkling, Happy replied, “We all got you a present!”

Before he could refuse under the auspices of “it’s not necessary”, Happy pulled the first gift out and thrust it into his face. Pulling it away, he placed it in his lap and felt around it. He could tell it was some kind of pillow. That’s nice. At least it was practical. He was about to give his appreciation when his brow knitted at the feeling of two bumps protruding along it’s rounded edge. Studying it a little more, he found the material to be a super soft fleece, and there was a design stitched into the surface.

No way!

He smiled in delight as he exclaimed, “ _It’s a Frosch pillow!”_

Indeed, what he had discerned and now held snugly to his chest was one of Sabertooth’s most popular pieces of merchandise: a squishy, plush-filled rendition of Frosch’s head, in pillow form. He’d heard this was a thing, but had never been in the area to pick one up. This was perfect!

Everyone was pleased at his reaction, glad to see him happy again after so many days of depression. Especially Natsu. He still couldn’t quite comprehend what he’d witnessed in that bedroom so many days ago, but he was glad to see his friend coming around. To think, they had all expected him to be in an even poorer mood during this trip, stuck in the hospital after a surgery that had to be full of traumatizing reminders. But watching him now, they knew that coming here tonight was the best decision ever.

“Now that we’re all in a festive mood,” Erza began, “It’s time to eat!” With that, she pulled out the food she’d packed from the party, while Lucy started passing out disposable dining wares.

Wendy, Natsu having come over to take her place, went to choose Gray’s food, since she knew what he’d be able to stomach with all the strange meds he’d been on today, leaving Chelia with Gray. Cana joined their little group as well, seeing the usually confident God Slayer looking a little bashful around the boys. She probably wasn’t all that comfortable in a hospital setting, what with her slowly returning healing abilities having kept her out of such places for as long as she could remember. And let’s face it; no one was ever truly comfortable being around an injured friend the first time around.

Bashfulness abated with Cana’s nearness, Chelia smiled and was about to start on some small talk, when Natsu interrupted.

“ _I’m glad you came today. Wendy sounded really happy to see you.”_

Oh. That was actually Gray-san talking. She’d have to get used to that. Though it was really sweet and inspiring to see all of Wendy’s friends jumping into the fray like this. Natsu-san hadn’t missed a beat when Wendy stood up to get Gray’s food, filling in as his voice without being asked. Cana saw right through her discomfort, and joined in seamlessly, with no prompting. And Lyon-san’s efficiency in meeting their group at the station and filling them in on all they needed to know was impressive. All of these friends were so supportive. Caring. Loyal.

This was Love.

She could see why Wendy had been so eager to rejoin Fairy Tail.

“I've really missed her, too. We don't get to talk too often. I've been trying to save up for one of those new com lacrimas, but with my magic still messed up, jobs are hard to come by."

" _Know the feeling. The guild's offered to help me out, but I still have plenty of savings to live off of, so I haven't needed to take them up on that yet._ "

"Hey," Natsu interjected, "How come you have so much saved up, anyway? We went on most of the same jobs, but I had to get Lucy to pay for my breakfast this morning!"

" _Interest rates."_

"Interesting rats?"

...

...

"... _I can't do this with you right now. I'll just say that seven years was a long time to let certain accounts mature. I told you a long time ago to put your jewels in the bank!"_

"Who has time to let jewels sit around when a man's gotta eat?"

"Hey, Natsu! You gonna let us in on what you guys are talking about?" teased Cana.

Chelia only heard Natsu's side of that conversation, but it was funny none the less. It was probably time to remind them that she was still there, though.

"I was really surprised when Natsu-san invited me out here. They were actually on the way out when I guess he spotted me and said I should tag along. Jura-sama said it was fine, since Lyon-san was here. I have to go back with Sting-sama and the others tonight, though, but until then, I get to spend time with my BFF!”

“ _Wait, Jura was there?”_ Now that he thought of it, why was Chelia at the party? Lyon hadn't mentioned anything about Lamia Scale being there.

Chelia didn’t understand why Natsu’s eyes went wide after saying that, like he’d just now realized some odd implication in those words, repeating what he’d lip-read automatically without thought.

Shrugging it off, she answered, “Yeah! A bunch of us from Lamia Scale came. There were also lots of people from all the major guilds. It was a lot of fun seeing so many friends there today.”

“... _I bet._ ”

That short phrase was very easy to read, but she was curious as to why Natsu hadn’t read it for her anyway. Looking at him once more, she saw apprehension in his face and posture. Why was he so nervous? Did she say something wrong?

“Look, we’re sorry!” Natsu cried, drawing the attention of his team, “we were gonna tell you later, after we got back. But we didn’t want you going into surgery feeling guilty over Lyon and Wendy missing out! And look, we brought food and things, so they could take part, too! And you know what? You all didn’t miss a thing. It was actually pretty lame and boring, compared to our standards—“

“Hey!” came Sting’s indignant cry.

“—so it’s not like anyone really had to be there!”

“ _Natsu, it’s fine. I get it. I’m not nearly as mad as you seem to think I should be.”_

“But you are mad, aren’t you?”

_“... I think you already know where I stand when it comes to you guys putting your lives on hold for me.”_

“And I know you know where our priorities will always lie.”

“*Sigh* _I do know. That’s why I’m not that mad. I just hate that you’re all hanging out here, in a small hospital room, instead of going wild and tearing it up at the Sabertooth Guild.”_

“That’s not a big deal. We’ll just tear up their guild next time we’re in town.”

“The Hell you talking about tearing up my guild?!” cried Sting.

Once again, Chelia only caught half that conversation, as Natsu had been talking one on one with Gray, but from context, she had a pretty good idea of what was going on. Since these were Wendy’s friends, she wanted to help. So she gave her own opinion on the matter.

“Um, it’s not that big a deal.”

She gulped a little as Gray’s eye’s zeroed in on her, though she hid the shock well. Lyon-san had warned them of scarring, but those eyes…

Taking a deep breath and letting it out, she continued. “I’m actually very happy to be here. I had fun at the party, and got to hang out with some really good friends. But when Natsu-san invited me to come out here to see Wendy, I said yes without a second thought. Because she’s my best friend. And it doesn’t matter what we do or where we go to do it. So long as we get to do it together, that’s all that really matters. I think everyone here feels the same way. They didn’t just come all the way out here because they felt bad for you, and didn’t want you to feel left out. They really just wanted to be with you. Because that’s Love!”

Having her say, she sat back and tried not to flinch at that strangely scrutinizing gaze. It was so intense and calculating, yet she knew it couldn’t possibly be focused solely on her. At last, it seemed a light began to shine in their depths, and his countenance eased, a small smile gracing his lips.

“ _You’re right. You’re a smart, brave young lady. Wendy knows how to pick good friends.”_

Smiling, she answered, “She really does,” knowing he understood that she was referring to all of Wendy’s friends.

“Well now that that’s settled, you have another gift in that bag. Lemme go rescue Joy from Rogue’s clutches, and you can give it a try” giggled Cana, winking at the rest of their group.

As the rest of the guests gave a collective sigh of relief that a potential crisis had been averted, Wendy finally returned with Gray’s food, while Cana happily offered to let Rogue keep Joy if he was willing to trade Frosch for her. He was quick to release the fluffy ball of sweetness.

Gray was confused by the need to have Joy returned to him for this next gift, but that confusion quickly gave way to amusement when he pulled out what felt like a small set of infant pajamas. With two small bumps in the hoodie. They didn’t.

“ _Is this what I think it is?”_

Happy excitedly yelled, “Aye, sir!”

They were pajamas. For cats. No one had to tell him they were likely pink and frog shaped. Joy would probably be cross with him for this, but it was just a few days shy of officially being winter, so he could rationalize the need for warm clothing for his still very young kitten. However…

“ _You wanna help me out here_?” he asked Cana, holding the clothes out towards her.

“She’s not gonna put up a fuss, will she?”

“ _No promises,_ ” he smirked mischievously. May as well let someone else be the focus of Joy’s ire.

“You jerk,” she smiled back, taking the proffered cat clothes.

Several minutes and a minor healing spell from Wendy later, the whole room was saturated with saccharine glee, with every com lacrima within range taking pictures of the newly clothed fur baby. The clothes were baggy, with the sleeves having to be rolled up. But she would grow into it eventually, that is if they could manage to get her to wear it again one day. Rogue made sure to get quite a few pictures with her and Frosch together. He couldn’t help it. His little Frosch looked like a proud big brother! As predicted, Joy was not amused, but grew used to it soon enough, especially with all the extra love her daddy was giving her tonight.

Things settled peacefully after all the initial surprises and subdued excitement. It wasn’t long before Wendy’s earlier observation of Gray’s fatigue was proven right, but at least she'd gotten him to eat before he was about to crash. Lyon had to help him to the bathroom to get ready for sleep, as he couldn’t walk well on his left leg at the moment. No one made any mention at his stiff movements or pronounced limp as he returned. Nor did anyone stop the exceeds (minus Carla, since she was more classy than that) from hopping right back onto the bed with him.

It wasn’t all that late yet, but since the Sabertooth mages were going back tonight, they hadn’t bothered renting a room anywhere, so had nowhere else to hang out, nor any desire to do so. Everyone broke up into little groups, sitting in the few chairs available, or making themselves comfortable on the floor. While the girls gossiped quietly in one corner, Cana had drawn the guys into a couple of rounds of poker.

This may not be a loud, rowdy party, surrounded by scores of friends and cheers and laughter, but for Team Natsu and the rest, this was where they truly wanted to be. All of them in one place, together, where they belonged.

At some point, the chatter started waning, as one by one, everyone noticed their “gracious host” had fallen asleep, resting on his side facing them, on his new Frosch pillow, with Joy curled up in her usual spot next to his head. Frosch had somehow found his way cuddled under his chin, snoring away, while Lector and Happy had also found perches on the bed on which to nod off.

Soon, visiting hours came to an end, and Sting and Rogue collected their sleepy exceeds (though not before Lucy snuck a few candid shots on her lacrima first). It was decided that everyone would return tonight to their respective guilds as originally planned. Lyon and Wendy escorted everyone back to the train station, allowing them each that much more time to spend with Chelia before she left. No one would notice if an extra young lady, with a penchant for wearing cat ears, returned with them later on.

Due to Gray’s special circumstances, the staff knew to allow those that had been with him throughout the day to remain with him tonight. So once again, Cana was left alone with her best friend, with nothing but the steady rhythm of his heart monitor and the occasional purr from Joy to keep her company. She was starting to wish she’d had Lucy summon Loke before she'd left, but at the same time, the solitude was nice. Lyon had assured her that he was only a lacrima call away if Gray started having nightmares, a likely possibility, but she was sure she could handle anything without too much trouble for the short time they’d be gone.

So she sat and pondered, as she’d been doing throughout the day, wondering if she was doing enough. Sure, she’d tried to keep his visits to the guild lively enough whenever she was there at the same time. And she visited his house when she could between missions, and delivered surprise groceries and meals from Mira every once in a while. But anyone could do that.

She was so tired of this lingering feeling of uselessness every time she was around him.

And her secret.

It really was too quiet in here, too easy for annoying thoughts to appear.

The thought suddenly occurred to her that Gray may have been so focused on their game earlier because of a need to think of things other than the main reason he was there. He hid it well, and his impressive feat of keeping those cards in his head helped sell his story. But if she was having trouble thinking about anything else but what's been haunting her all day, there's no way he wasn't experiencing the same thing. No wonder he'd kept hinting at needing more conversation to fill the silence. Why couldn't he just come out and ask for it when he needed it then?! Even in this state, he still tried to protect his friends! The masochist!

'... _Better than a hypocrite_ ,' she thought.

She leaned forward in her chair, arms resting on the raised bed rail, head propped on top as she looked at his tranquil features. If not for the scars over his eyes, along with the dark circles underneath, she could imagine his world hadn’t been uprooted, and he was just peacefully sleeping in his (proper) bed at home, with no worries to speak of.

“Gray?” she whispered.

Not even Joy stirred. Guess they both had tiring days today.

“... I know...about what happened. I know who you’re afraid of, and I’m sorry I can't think of a way to help you face it. I can’t even imagine...all the anger and fear you must feel...all the time. I know you can be happy. I saw that today...but I also saw that sadness you try so hard to hide when we’re around. I wish you didn’t have to do that. But I understand. Because I’d be just as messed up, if not more so, if my own moth—“

She had to pause her confession there, too choked up to go on, trying to keep her anguished sobs from coming forth, and breaking the silence in the room. She covered her mouth with the back of her fist, and forced herself not to cry. Lyon and Wendy would return soon, and they’d know right away something was wrong if she didn’t pull herself together right now.

A soft mew made her jump. Joy was staring at her, head cocked as if waiting to hear more.

Cana released a quiet, desperate laugh, a knot of stress coming loose at the realization that her secret had not gone completely unheard. She was grateful for that. She may have been too much of a coward to admit this secret to the one man who needed to hear it, but at least she’d been able to get it off her chest regardless.

Reaching out to gently pet her head, she was glad that Joy didn’t seem to hold a grudge over her being forced to wear those silly cat pajamas. Maybe she’d figured out that it was her daddy who instigated the travesty, and had resigned herself to life as a frog, now. Or maybe Cana had to go to sleep soon, as she was over thinking things.

“You really are good to your daddy, aren’t you? Listening to my sad confessions so he wouldn’t have to. Helping him bear so much every day. He’s lucky to have you.”

Joy blinked at her and purred, and Cana could swear that look was telling her that, when it came to Joy and her daddy, the feelings were mutual.

Feeling better after finally sharing her secret, Cana leaned back in her chair, took out Gray’s special deck of cards, and idly shuffled them as she waited for the others to return. Thinking back, maybe Joy had the right idea. Maybe bearing this secret for him was the right choice, what she needed to do. Even if he didn’t know it now, he wasn’t alone in that burden. She, along with a select few (which now included Joy), would carry this secret for as long as he needed them to carry it. And they would be there with an understanding that only they could provide.

It would have to be enough.

* * *

**_I'd just recently learned how to use a sewing machine. I can't help it, I'm old-fashioned. I hand-stitched an entire quilt once. Don't even ask how long it took. That being said, Heck yeah, I'm gonna be making Exceed-shaped pillows for my kids for Christmas!_ **

**_Next chapter: Christmas shopping_ **


	28. Finding the Perfect Gift

**_Please see the note at the end. Got a present for ya'll, if you haven't seen it yet._ **

**_Thank you to RevolutionaryCleo and Viperhat for their recent reviews. I'm so relieved so many appreciate a story that's not all about the romantic ships._ **

**_And thank you, those on AO3, who have bookmarked this story. Especially to the one who said they had stumbled upon it, and would read and reread it and cry, it was that good. So flattering, and really makes me want to churn out these chapters._ **

**_*The name 'Gris Gris' is pronounced Gree Gree*_ **

* * *

With just a few days left until Christmas, Lucy had a dilemma. The team’s decided that each of them would contribute to Gray’s surprise fish pond project, as they all felt getting him nothing but gifts tailored towards the blind wouldn't go well with him. He didn't want to be seen as just the “blind guy”. Which was understandable, but now, Lucy couldn’t figure out what to get.

Natsu did most of the work digging the hole, and bought the pond liner. Erza bought all the necessary pumps and a heater, as well as the waterfall feature. Wendy got him a cute cat statue that was posed with its paw dipping into the water, it’s head tilted as if it was looking at the fish. Happy even got him some new goldfish, so Gray’s fish could have more friends. They all helped out with setting up the equipment, and decorating with stones and pebbles, to match the rest of the landscaping. But Lucy hadn’t actually added anything to it.

“Gray-ni, Lucy-nee, Let’s go in this store!”

However, instead of shopping around, trying to find the perfect gift, she’d offered to take Gray and Asuka shopping. This was the first day since his graft surgery that walking long distances didn't pain him too much, and he was eager to move about. Meanwhile, the little girl wanted to go with her Gray-ni to buy her parents something special, and since the shopping district during Christmastime was a confusing mess even for the sighted, he needed a guide as well. She figured it wouldn’t be a problem buying his gift with him right there, but it also seemed kind of callous and sneaky to do so. Also, following Asuka’s whims tended to lead them to stores that catered more towards the younger crowds.

“ _What kind of store is it?_ ” Gray gestured. He was also relieved that he could gesture with both hands again. That widespread numbing sensation was just weird.

“Toys!” Asuka declared excitedly.

Gray smirked. This was only the fourth one this morning. “ _How about we try something different?”_

Curiously, she asked, “Like what?”

Gray considered, then asked, “ _What street are we on?”_

Looking around, Lucy answered, “We’re on Elderberry, near Thistlewood.”

He perked up. “ _Which way’s east_?”

“We’re headed that way now.”

“ _Great. Follow me.”_ With cane in one hand and Asuka’s mittened hand in the other, Gray made his way down the sidewalk, staying close to the buildings, knowing most people would courteously steer clear as soon as they saw the red tip of his cane. Lucy and Asuka were both glad to see the limp he'd gained recently had lessened, and he didn't grimace with every other step anymore. He led them to the corner where the two streets met, and waited to cross when he heard others doing the same. Lucy looked ahead, trying to guess where he was going, but all she saw was a garden center, a few cafes, and a pawn shop.

She should have guessed they’d head into the pawn shop. It was actually pretty quaint, and had a nice atmosphere. It was set up more like an older home, with items displayed throughout the house instead of behind glass or on a bunch of shelves. Behind a counter stood an old man, stooped over an old-fashioned cash register. He wore ridiculously thick glasses, and looked like he’d fall over as soon as you breathed on him. He finished writing numbers from his receipts into a ledger before looking up. His eyes looked comically big peering at them through those glasses, but he smiled a near toothless grin as he saw who had entered.

“Gris Gris! It been too long! Where you been all dis time, eh?” he said.

‘ _Gris Gris?_ ’ thought Lucy.

“ _Lucy, help me out here,_ ” he entreated before turning to the proprietor, “ _Sorry, Ochan. Got into some troubles the last few months. Haven’t been able to get out here much.”_

After hearing Lucy’s interpretation, the old man, hereby known as Ochan, eyed Gray’s cane and decided to just take him for his word and not pry. He’s known this kid long enough to know that if he'd wanted to elaborate, he would have.

“Well, it good a ya to visit. What ya need from dis ol’ man?”

“ _This little angel here needs a present for her parents. Both of them use a type of guns magic.”_

“Hmm. Don ‘ave much in da ways of guns ‘ere, and couldna sell ya one anyway to a lil girl. But ya take a look round ma shop. Ya find somet’ing, ‘m sure.”

“You talk funny. But okay! Let’s go, Gray-ni!” cried Asuka as she grabbed his hand and took off to the nearest items of interest, Ochan smiling at the sweet little girl's blunt honesty.

As they looked around, Lucy tried to find something that she could maybe use as her part of the team gift, but nothing really stood out. Seeing her wandering gaze, Ochan caught her attention and waved her over.

“An’ whatcha in the looksy for, chil’“? he asked in his thick accent.

Lowering her voice, she answered, “I’m looking for a gift for...Gris Gris. Do you have anything that would go well with a fish pond? Like, I don’t know, a decoration or something?”

“What good a decoration if da boy can’ see it?”

“I know, but my friends didn’t want to just get him a bunch of stuff that pointed out his...disability. We want him to feel as normal as possible.”

“Ain’ not’ing not normal ‘bout a man can’ see. He just do t’ings his own way, yeah?” he said, lifting his glasses and squinting his eyes to mere slits. Putting them back in place, he continued, “It good ya t’inking a keepin da boy happy, but ya don’ hafta go ova board wit’ da sentiment. He appreciate whatevr ya give em. Why not get ‘im somet’ing dat smell good, yeah? Is fo da fish pond, ya say? Pond needs plants, no?”

It was like an epiphany. Of course! They’re going through all the trouble of creating the pond so he can enjoy the sounds of running water, so why not make it a full emersion experience and include scents as well?!

“That’s brilliant!” she whisper-shouted, “Thank you.” Raising her voice, she said to Gray and Asuka, “Hey, guys? I’m gonna head next door to the garden center to see if they have any...um...uh, mistletoe!” ‘Oh, great job, Lucy. Mistletoe? SMH!’

Gray just looked towards her with a raised eyebrow, before following along behind Asuka, who seemed particularly interested in something on one of the low tables in a corner. He waved her off, and she was out the door in a second.

Half an hour later, after getting help from a very knowledgeable staff, Lucy had made arrangements to have delivered to her apartment a selection of assorted plants. Gray would be able to enjoy lovely scents and colors throughout the year, she thought, never doubting he’d especially love the colors. Eventually.

Upon returning to the pawn shop, she found Gray pulling out his wallet, thumbing through his well organized jewel, knowing exactly which and how many of each denominations he kept at all times. Before him was a rugged looking pocket knife, and a shiny brass compass. The compass had a lid over the face, which would be a great place to keep a photo. Gray had the idea that as a Requip: Gunner mage, Bisca could always use a compass for any sniping assignments she may take. It was a basic tool of a sniper’s arsenal. And everyone could use a good pocket knife. Since the knife and compass came as a set, it was perfect that Asuka’s parents could receive a matching gift.

After he gestured a few words, Asuka asked, a little confused, “um, how long to write letters on them?”

Seeing Gray pick up the knife, while rubbing the side of the handle with his index finger, Ochan figured out what he meant.

“Ya lookin ta engrave?”

A brief nod and a smile, he then asked Asuka if she wanted anything special written on each gift. She responded enthusiastically.

“Ha! For dis lil girl, an’ cuz we ol’ friends, I get dis t’ings done righ’ away. Ya wait righ’ heah. I be righ’ back.”

Ochan took the knife and the compass, and hobbled towards a work room in the back.

While he was gone, Lucy sidled up next to them, making sure she clanked her keys slightly together so she wouldn’t spook Gray. He straightened his posture when he heard the sound, turning towards her.

Smiling mischievously, she asked, “So, Gris Gris, eh?”

Gray smiled fondly. “ _It means ‘gray’ where he comes from. He’s refused to call me anything else since I met him years ago. Said his people had their own words for colors. May as well teach me one.”_

“ I thought his accent was a little...thick,” she said diplomatically.

“ _Takes getting used to. So...find your mistletoe?_ ” he smirked.

“My what?” she asked, confused, as she didn’t know that Gesture.

Smiling, he spelled it out, and Asuka wondered why Lucy-nee grew more red with each letter.

She said, “You know, they just ran out.”

Shrugging, he replied, “ _It’s not like you really need any to lay one on Natsu.”_

“That’s not...it's just for decoration!”

He just gave a knowing nod, before turning to Asuka, asking if she'd want any cocoa when they got back to the guild, all further protests ignored.

* * *

- _Christmas Eve_ -

“There are green and red ribbons all over the place, and lots of leaves and things tied together, and the lights are blinking, but not all of them. Oh! Wow! There’s a toy train running around the whole room, and the train tracks are hanging from the ceiling! So cool! And...”

Asuka was ever the good helper, as she did her best to describe what she saw to Gray as they sat at their usual table. Christmas Eve was always a big event for the guild. Every current member of Fairy Tail went out of their way to be free from any quests, in order to be here this time of year. At the moment, Gray was waiting for the rest of his friends to show up, as they all had some “last minute errands” to run. Did they all seriously wait until the last minute to do their Christmas shopping? He was happy to have gotten his things in order days ago.

Cana and Loke sat with him. Lyon had returned to Margret Town to spend Christmas with his friends in Lamia Scale, at Gray’s request. He refused to be the reason Lyon couldn’t at least spend the holidays with his own guild mates. He’d be back tomorrow morning.

“Are you excited, Cana?” Loke asked around his mug of holiday cheer. He looked rather fetching wearing the Santa hat Asuka had placed on his head.

“What’s there to be excited about? It’s not like we haven’t written each other off and on since he’s been gone.”

She tried to hide her enthusiasm, but Gray could hear it in her voice. She was excited.

Gildarts was coming home.

Gray was a little anxious, himself. Though he knew Master and Cana’s been sending the old man updates about his progress, this would be the first time Gildarts would see him face to face since the incident. Gray’s gotten used to how the rest of the guild interacted with him. Some were friendly but distant. Others went out of their way to try to keep him as involved as he’s willing to allow. Others knew to give him space. But they’ve all had time to get used to him. Meeting Gildarts involved introducing this new Gray all over again. He hated the scrutiny that came with the novelty.

All around, people were busy with the final preparations for the big Christmas Party that the guild held every year. Tables were already getting laid out with food and drink, even though the festivities wouldn’t start until later. That’s another thing Gray wasn’t looking forward to. He may be comfortable around his friends, but there’s only so much he could tolerate within large crowds of noisy, drunken revelers. His lack of sight made everything just a confused bedlam, and his friends always felt bad that he couldn’t take part in everything. Would they also feel bad if he chose to bow out tonight before the party even got started?

“Asuka, come on, baby girl. Lunch is here,” said Bisca as she set their food down at their own table, “Thanks for watching her, guys.”

“No probs, Bisca!” Cana winked.

Before Asuka could leave, Gray grabbed her wrist, pulling a small, wrapped present out of his satchel and placing it in her hand. Her family was leaving after lunch, so chances were, if he did choose not to come to the party, he wouldn’t run into them again today.

“ _Merry Christmas_ ,” he gestured, the newest one he’d just taught her today, “ _Don’t open it until tomorrow, okay?”_

“Thank you! Merry Christmas, Gray-ni!” she said as she hugged him tight, before running to her parents. He sent a thank you towards Bisca as they were leaving, one of the few gestures she’d picked up, for the favor she, along with Cana, had done for him earlier that day.

“You’re welcome, Gray! Merry Christmas.”

When they were out of ear shot, Cana asked, “What’d you give her?”

“ _Her dragon baby needs a mom and dad to complete the family,_ ” he mouthed, though Loke detected a touch of bittersweetness in his smile.

“That’s adorable. You’re such a big softy. It’s disgusting. I really need to get you hammered,” she teased.

“ _You know I can’t._ ” he reminded. Not with all the pain meds he was on.

“Yeah, I know. But as soon as you’re able, you and me, and maybe Loke if he’s nice; we’re drinking the night away.”

“You might be drinking alone after the first round. I doubt he’d be able to tolerate much after being sober for so long,” said Loke.

“ _It is what it is_ ,” Gray shrugged, not too displeased. He never was too eager to get as plastered as Cana tended to get.

“Leaves more for me!” she crowed.

Suddenly, they could hear a ruckus from outside. There was a lot of excitement going on.

“All townspeople quickly get into your set positions. Magnolia is changing into Gildarts Shift!”

At the alert from the flying speaker horns, everyone rose up a cheer.

“It’s about time the old man showed up,” Cana said, trying to sound nonchalant as she rose to meet her father at the doors.

“Hmph. She sounds a lot more eager than she wants us to think she is. Are you coming?” Loke asked, quirking a brow.

“ _Too many people. You can go ahead.”_

“If you’re sure. I won’t be long.”

Gray waved him off, finally relaxing now that they’d gone, returning to sipping his now tepid coffee. It’d be better with ice. Shame he couldn’t accommodate himself when he felt how much his mug had cooled. Luke warm coffee was awful. Reheating it would be nice, too. He’d taken a liking to hot coffee since losing his cold resistance. That was ever a sore topic. He was kinda relieved that his friends had found out. It made things easier to avoid or ignore when others started asking questions.

Natsu had a quiet fit the other day, when he'd heard some stray comments about Gray’s state of dress. Was it so odd that he wore winter clothes in the freakin winter?! And like his lack of stripping was any of their business. ‘You lose about twenty percent of your skin, and see how eager you are to show it off. Dumbass,’ was Natsu’s thoughts at the time. He'd almost lost it when he heard the guy's buddy talking about Gray's recent, very public meltdown, insinuating that the guild ought to have higher standards, if it was gonna let violent, unstable loons come and go as they pleased. If Gray hadn't been there at the time (thank God he hadn't heard), those guys would have seen a violent, unstable loon right up in their faces. Lately, he's found himself taking advantage of his lip reading skills whenever the noise in the guild made it difficult to pinpoint specific voices, using them on those very same jerks from before. Just let him catch them talking shit about his best friend again.

“Hey, Gray. Here’s a refill,” came Mira's voice, followed by the clack of a steaming mug on the table. He picked it up gingerly, savoring the scent of the godly nectar of caffeine before taking his first sip.

“ _Thanks, Mira.”_

“It’s entirely my pleasure. There’s a sandwich there as well. It’s getting close to lunch time. I just wanted to thank you for the beautiful tree topper you made for me. It looks wonderful up there,” she beamed. She was speaking about the surprise clay sculpture he'd been making that day when Juvia returned. It was an ornately designed angel, with flowing robes and wings spread out, as if welcoming all into its heavenly embrace. Reedus had even painted it for him, according to his directions. It now sat on top of the tree that stood on the stage, it's branches trimmed by the collection of Asuka's handmade ornaments. Most agreed; It was the best tree ever.

She took a moment to look at him. He hadn’t bothered fixing his posture when she appeared, choosing to appear relaxed in his chair, but she could still see the struggle to stay alert. She didn’t want to call him out on it, as he was picking up the sandwich, and she didn’t want to risk giving him a reason to put it down. “Enjoy your lunch,” she said, taking the old mug away.

As he sat, he listened to the goings-on around him. Gildarts was making his usual, embarrassingly proud-papa comments about his “little girl", followed by Cana’s usual rants about stupid dads and their overly zealous dad-hugs and dad-kisses.

Must be nice.

He was finishing his lunch when the excited noises were dying down to the normal guild chatter, which meant Gildarts was free to wander about now. He reached into his shirt pocket for his next dose. His friends had gotten a whole lot more relaxed about letting him carry his own meds since that incident last month, especially after Loren had pulled Lyon aside and pointed out that, even though he couldn’t read the labels, he could at least be responsible for his own pre-measured doses. Just another small way of gaining more independence.

Gray had drained the last drops from his mug, debating a strategic (read: cowardly) retreat, when he felt his presence in front of him. Gildarts was the kind of person that didn’t need to announce himself, even to a blind man. You just knew he was there.

Gildarts thought he was prepared for when he finally saw Gray. When he’d first heard about what happened, his first instinct was to return right away, and crash that necromancer into evenly sliced particles and let the wind carry him away. But Master needed him in Alvarez, maintaining peaceful relations with the new emperor, Ajeel, and he was assured that they had everything covered at home.

But he hadn’t expected Gray to seem so small and weary. He’d regained a lot of the weight he’d lost in the hospital, so it wasn’t that. It was just the way he held himself, as if he was bearing so much weight upon his very being. The sunglasses he wore didn’t hide the circles under his eyes. Nor could he hide the obvious, at least to Gildarts, signs of his discomfort and exhaustion. Maybe everyone else was used to it, and didn't even notice it. Even Cana’s sent word often enough, bragging about the progress he’s made. If this was progress, just how bad off was he before? But with this being his first glance of him, he could tell right away: He was a mess. The poor kid probably didn’t even realize he was trying to hide the fact. That’s just how he did things now.

“Gray...you look like shit.”

Gray actually chuckled, at least Gildarts thought he was chuckling. Cana was right. That was a sad lack of sound coming from his silenced throat.

Gray relaxed. Gildarts’ refreshing candor was so what he needed. At least there were some people who didn’t try to coddle the damaged doll.

“ _Loke_?”

“I’m right here. So’s Cana,” came Loke’s reply.

“ _I’ve had my ups and downs. How was Alvarez?”_

Gildarts took that as his invitation to sit, tossing a heavy sounding bag on the floor.

“Hot, humid, and full of blowhards. I’m not looking forward to going back, but we’re making good progress with the peace accords... Gray...I’m sorry I wasn’t here. Maybe if I was—“

“ _I’ve never liked the What-if game. It happened. I’m dealing. There’s no point in dwelling on it.”_

“Hmph. Do you follow your own advice?”

...

“Didn’t think so. Look, I’ve been there. This isn’t me trying to patronize you over shared hardships. I’m just letting you know that I understand what it’s like to have your whole world turned upside down. I got absolutely trashed by Acnologia all those years ago, but that happened in an instant. At least I could replace my arm and leg. What you went through, over a period of days, something like that lingers. I can’t even imagine what that must have been like,”...’because unlike you, at least I had the option of fighting back,’..., “but you need to hear from someone with experience in surviving grievous injuries, that things do improve.

“I’ve known you since you were a little kid. I know you’re strong. You don’t have to prove anything. You don’t have to be strong for us all the time. I know you don’t want your friends to worry, but they’re going to worry anyway. And I’m still going to wish vengeance on a dead man, because you’re still one of my brats, and no one messes with my brats. I’ll always regret not being here then, but I’m here now... I know you’ve been dealing, probably better in some ways, probably not so well in others. I know you’ve got a great support network around here, but while I’m here, and if you’ll have me, I’d like to be part of that network as well. I think I can give a fresh perspective at least... Well, that’s my spiel. I need a drink. This touchy feely stuff is cramping my style.”

“I don’t wanna hear that from you, you old pervert!” yelled Cana.

Spell broken, Gray smiled in relief. Gildarts didn’t ask stupid questions about how he was feeling, or hover around him with soft, sympathetic words, or treat him like he’d break down and cry if he said or did the wrong thing. He was straight up honest and confident, just as always. He was just Gildarts.

For some reason, hearing these words, the same words others have tried to share before, just reached him in a different way when coming from Gildarts. Because he had faced death in a traumatic, life-changing way. Everyone's said in one way or another that they understood, but as they said it, it felt like they weren't really "them". They were just pretenders, acting like they really knew, while not being true to who they were. But Gildarts was just being Gildarts. Unlike his friends who tried to understand, Gildarts didn’t need to try. He got it. And he knew. And for the first time, he felt it: having that sense of shared experiences felt like he wasn’t bearing it all alone.

“ _Thank you.”_

Gildarts and Cana both looked up from their exchange upon hearing Loke speak, knowing who was really saying those words.

“ _I may take you up on it.”_

Now Gildarts had to smile. “Any time. I have to go back to Alvarez at the beginning of the year, but I'll pick up one of those new com lacrimas before then. You call me, day or night, anytime you want to talk— oh shit! I already forgot. I guess... have your friends call or— dammit, you'd probably want privacy sometimes. I'm so sorry, I'm not trying to be an insensitive ass or anything ... Crap, you don't know Morse code, do you?— What the hell are you laughing at?!"

To his relieved shock, Gray didn't look upset at all. In fact, it looked like he'd finally lowered that fragile guard he'd held since he'd come upon his table, and Gildarts was glad to see a genuine smile on his face. That embarrassing display of his fumbling stupidity was a small price to pay to see the boy act more himself.

" _I upgraded recently. My new com lacrima, among other features, is equipped with a Braille keyboard. If I need to, I can type my words, and your own lacrima will speak them. But yeah, if I really need to talk, there's not much I wouldn't trust my 'voices' to hear,_ " he said with a grin.

Cana was sure she saw Loke puff his chest out at such high praise. "Gray's Voice" had almost become a special title around here.

"Ha! I guess you got things all figured out... I'm proud of you. I'm grateful for the man you've become." He felt that if he went any further with his thoughts, and told him how impressed he was by his accomplishments, in his pulling himself up from the darkness he was sure he'd found himself in all those months ago, Gray wouldn't receive his words all that well. Either out of humility or a sense of feeling like he didn't deserve the praise, he wouldn't put him through the grief. He himself was quite familiar with the sentiment, after all; of feeling like he could have done more. That such words were empty, meaningless, did not pertain to him. Gildarts, indeed, was the one man who would know where Gray was coming from. Instead, "So, you wanna knock back a few?”

" _Can’t. But I wouldn’t mind the company. Drink all you want. Don’t let me hold you back.”_

“Wouldn’t dream of it. Gotta see Master first, so gimme a minute. I’ll be right back.”

Grabbing his bag as he rose from the table, he gave them a wave on his way to meet Makarov at the bar.

Makarov was wiping his drink from his mustache when Gildarts appeared, dropping his bag on the bar top.

“Welcome back, Gildarts,” he greeted warmly.

“Always happy to come home,” lowering his voice, he continued, “I brought something back for you. Hope it fits. Might be the best Christmas gift ever.”

Intrigued, Makarov raised an eyebrow, before opening the bag to find a collection of very old books and scroll tubes. He gave a questioning look.

“It’s really more for Gray, but I didn’t want to get his hopes up, in case they’re a bust. They might hold the key to unlocking those seals.”

Now Makarov’s eyes went wide. If this was true...

“Where did you get these?”

“It’s why I came back later than anticipated. I’ve been asking around for information on martial-grade sealing techniques, and made some contacts in Alvarez. They led me to these books. I can’t guarantee they’ll be of any use, but I wanted to do something for the kid.”

“I saw you talking to him. You’ve already done something, from what I could tell by his mood. But I will accept this on his behalf, and pray they do contain something that we’ve been lacking. Levy and Freed will be relieved. They’d almost gone through everything we have, and are still so far from finding a cypher for the demon language. At least with these, they may inch a little closer to figuring out the removal of the magic sealing runes.”

“Good to hear. Well, I’ve got a drinking contest with my daughter to lose. See ya later, old man.”

He returned to Gray’s table, just in time to see the rest of his team arrive. Great! The more the merrier.

* * *

**_My birthday was this week! The greatest gift for me would be a review! Also, in Thailand, it's a custom for the birthday celebrant to give their guests gifts. So my gift to you is as follows:_ **

**_I published a fun Christmas piece separate from this story. Called "Natsu's 12 Days of Christmas" Just a short one shot of Natsu pissing Gray off with his butchered rendition of the song. Yes, I do write humor. Please receive this gift in the spirit in which it's given, and enjoy. And do comment on it if it pleases you._ **

**_Next chapter: Christmas Day!_ **


	29. A Most Wonderful Time

**_Be sure to read my one-shot Christmas story if you haven't done so. It's called "Natsu's Twelve Days of Christmas." Come on, you know you're curious about what a Fairy Tail rendition would be like. I promise it'll make you laugh, if only because of Gray's reactions to it._ **

**_Thanks to CrimsonStarbird for the tremendous boost to my pride as a writer. It takes a fellow writer to appreciate the finer details, and to have picked up on all the subtle nuances I've tried to add throughout this story. I highly recommend their own work, "Rise Up Once More," which is an interesting and exciting take on a slight plot divergence in which they failed to break the Changling spell. Good news, it's complete. Better news, it's got some awesome ice spell theories based on science._ **

* * *

Hours later, just as the party was getting under way, Erza surprised Gray with the announcement that it was time for their team to leave. It was good timing. All of them could see how his comfort level's been falling with each increase in the volume of both sound and people. His endurance was also declining, and they didn't want him to tire himself out.

But he also didn't want to pull anyone away from the party just to stay with him.

" _There's no need for you all to leave. I can find my own way home."_

"You'd want to be home alone?" asked Erza.

As much as it pained him to admit it, he definitely didn't want a repeat of last time. But still...

"Don't worry about us. We already planned something else for tonight. We're having a private party at my apartment!" said Lucy.

That was an interesting idea. It was a far better alternative than spending the evening here, that's for sure.

"So come on! What are we waiting for? Happy and Carla are probably already waiting there with Joy!" said Natsu.

!

" _You kidnapped my cat?!"_

"Invited," he offered back.

Wendy spoke up. "So, what do you think? I think it'll be a lot of fun, but if you don't want to, it's okay. We won't be disappointed ..."

One day he'd have to teach Wendy how to make her lies more convincing. But he gave them a relieved smile, nodding. It's been a while since they'd all spent an evening at Lucy's place. Plus, he'd be able to unload the rest of his satchel while he was there.

ooooo

"How much longer do I have to keep stirring?"

Dinner was a nice, simple affair, with memories and laughter filling the apartment. Everyone was gathered around the table in Lucy's living area, with Gray sitting reclined on her bed at the threat of her crying if he didn't comply. These women knew his weaknesses all too well. Had they started with tears from the beginning, he would have agreed to come over way sooner.

Wendy sat criss-crossed at a corner of the bed, helping Happy and Carla keep Joy entertained with the basket of cat toys and treats that had been waiting there when they'd all arrived. She was running around the bed spread, chasing after a laser that Wendy was moving back and forth, highly amused at the kitten's rambunctiousness. Gray would chuckle whenever she jumped over his outstretched legs, or when Wendy paused the laser over his hand or across his lap, and he'd learn of this only after Joy had pounced on him unexpectedly.

With Cana spending Christmas with her dad, Loke had been snagged by Lucy to spend the evening with them. He now sat against the headboard next to Gray, suit jacket off and tie loosened, watching the cats be cats. If Gray could see the glazed look in Loke's eyes as he, too, followed the laser across the bed, the lion spirit would never hear the end of it. He's had to more than once resist the urge to paw at that enticingly bright red light. ' _Resist! Resist! Resist! Don't make a fool of myself. Not in front of Lucy. Resist!'_

Erza had made a comment about needing something warm and sweet to finish the meal with, but Lucy hadn't thought to buy hot chocolate mix when she went shopping for the party. Instead of sending someone out, Gray asked if she had some ingredients, which he then listed off. She actually did have those items. So now, Natsu, standing a good distance away and forgoing the stove, simply held the pot in his hand, having been put in charge of simmering and stirring all of the ingredients for Isvalan hot chocolate, while Lucy added each item to the mix.

_"Let me know when you can no longer tell one ingredient from another."_

_"_ This is so slow! I'm a freakin fire dragon. I don't _do_ low heat! Why can't I just boil it?"

" _Because you'd scald the milk."_

A few minutes later, Natsu announced the ingredients were all melted together.

_"It smells about right. Lucy, slowly add the cream."_

"Oh my! That looks very rich!" said an excited Erza.

" _Turn off the heat, and add the last thing. Stir it really well. It's ready."_

Another reason they stood so far away was because of the final ingredient: salt.

Gray was proud that he could think about salt in small amounts without having a panic attack now. So long as someone else added that seasoning, and only enough to enhance the flavor without leaving an actual taste of it, he had no problem eating food that contained it. He still wasn't going to touch it, though.

Mugs passed around, everyone got to experience the chocolate ambrosia. Simply bliss in a mug.

"Gray, you need to stop keeping secrets. First the food you made with Loren, now this? Where did you learn to cook?" Erza asked.

 _"... Just some family recipes I remembered. It was something my...parents really enjoyed. Cooking together. It was something to do when the cold weather kept us indoors... It's one of the last things I really have of them,"_ he shared as he sat Joy on his lap, scratching her chin.

Everyone was a little nervous at this statement. Talking about anything from Gray's past was strictly forbidden, especially about his parents. He could sense their unease, and said, " _It's fine. I brought them up. These are happy memories I don't mind sharing. It's...nice to remember them with you all."_

The girls were touched, and Natsu tried and failed to hide the fact that his eyes were tearing up, which caused a round of good-natured laughs all around.

Checking the time, Loke got up from the bed, grabbing his jacket as he announced, "Well, everyone. It's been a nice evening, but I have to get going. I've got a date with Aries tonight." He couldn't help but to wink at Lucy at that news.

"What?! With Aries!? When did _this_ happen?!" cried Lucy.

"I do have a life outside of Celestial World duties, you know. It's been my pleasure, everyone."

Before he could vanish, Gray snapped his fingers while pulling his satchel off the floor. From inside, he pulled out a wrapped gift box, distinguishing it from others by either the size, weight, or texture of the paper used to wrap it. He tossed it to Loke.

" _It's for you. But you have to let Aries open it."_

"Why? What is it?"

Gray just smirked so proudly, folding his arms across his chest and giving Loke a knowing look.

Loke's eyes widened, before he said, "You're forever first in line to be named godparent. Good night, everyone!"

He disappeared before anyone could comment on the notion that, as far as anyone knew, Golden keys didn't procreate.

"What the heck did you give him?" Natsu wondered.

" _Sorry. I'm invoking Bro Code."_

"That's not fair! I'm a bro!"

" _Maybe when you're older_."

Wendy was blushing.

"Wait! How did you know about him and Aries?!" demanded Lucy.

...

...

"... _Bro Code."_

She just threw her hands up, smiling nonetheless.

Her boys.

Erza was already trying to picture what their children would look like.

"Such an adorable couple. Who would have imagined a lion and a lamb coming together?"

"... _yeah,"_ Gray sighed, burying that bittersweet thought for a later time. This was a time for cheer, after all.

Grinning, he emptied out his satchel, standing to pass the rest of the presents out as he felt them. His friends were all pleasantly surprised that he came bearing gifts. When had he originally planned to give these out, if he wasn't planning on staying at the guild party? He definitely hadn't known about coming here tonight.

"Gray, I thought we agreed no gifts this year," Erza said. In reality, they just didn't want him to feel obligated to get them anything.

" _Not a big deal. Most of them were free or hand made, anyway."_

Lucy wondered why he had them with him.

" _I brought them with me this morning so Cana and Bisca could help me wrap them. I couldn't tell which paper was what, you see. I was going to give them to you during the guild party, but this was better,"_ he grinned _, "What are you waiting for?"_

Standing on no ceremony, they all ripped into their presents at once. Their pleased and/or surprised gasps made up for not being able to see their faces.

"Dried fish!" cried Happy. He's always easy to shop for.

"This is a very find brand of Darjeeling tea. Thank you, Gray," said Carla.

Wendy opened a box containing several small envelopes of herb seeds.

"Gray-san, what are these?"

" _I thought you'd like to grow your own medicinal herb garden. This should get you started. I also have space in my yard for you to plant them, since I know you can't use the land around Fairy Hills. You can come over anytime you want._ "

"This is a wonderful gift. Thank you!"

" _There's more"_

Confused, as all she saw were the packets of seeds, Gray indicated for her to empty the box into her hand. Doing so, she found a piece of paper underneath all the packets. Turning it over, she saw it was simply a series of handwritten numbers.

"I don't understand. What is this?"

" _I needed an upgrade to my com lacrima, since my old one wasn't blind-accessible_. _It was still relatively new, so I had Warren erase it and reprogram it with a new number, before I gave it to Lyon. He took it with him to Margaret Town_... _He should have given it to Chelia by now."_

It took less than a second for Wendy to understand where he was going with this. Eyes wide, she exclaimed, "You mean...?"

" _She's waiting for your call,"_ he grinned.

With an excited gasp, she leaped off the bed and reached for her own com lacrima, dialing the numbers she was given, and waiting in anticipation. The call was picked up before the first tone finished sounding.

" _About time you called! Merry Christmas, Wendy!"_

"Chelia! This is awesome! We can talk whenever we want, now!"

As the two teens talked, all the young adults in the room giving indulgent smiles, Natsu was pulling the lid off the box containing his gift.

"You made me my own dragon egg?! Awesome! It even has a baby fire dragon coming out!" he yelled. He held a clay figurine of said fire dragon, much like the one Gray made for Asuka. Romeo was happy to help him fire this one off. There was a flame design surrounding the shell, and a horned, smiling dragon peaked its head out, a small puff of flame rendered in very thin clay sticking out of its mouth. Gray wondered how long it would take for Natsu to notice the X-shaped scar he'd carved over the tiny mouth. He'd have to turn it just right to see it...

"Oh my God," cried Erza, "You got me tickets to Grimm? That musical sold out months ago."

" _Did a job about six months back for some guy involved in the production. Pretty sure he wrote it, actually. Gave me those tickets as a bonus."_

 _"_ I love them!... Do you think...you'd go with me?... You don't have to, but...I mean, they _were_ yours, and it _is_ a musical, so... And it's only right—"

_"If you really want me to go with you, it's fine. They're private box seats. Let's just go early to avoid the crowds, yeah?"_

"That's perfect... Lucy, what did you get?"

They all looked towards where she sat, hand to her mouth as she read what was in her hands, eyes wet.

"Lucy, are you okay?" asked Happy.

With a promise to talk again tomorrow, Wendy ended her call, and was about to thank Gray again for her gift when she saw the mixed emotions on everyone's faces. She quickly zeroed in on Lucy.

"Lucy-san, why are you...?" she started

"What the heck you do to make her cry?!" Natsu cried in panic.

Gray just continued to stare in her direction, his face calm and stoic, so no one knew what he was thinking. He was waiting, hoping he hadn't overstepped his bounds.

"Um... This is...a copy of a letter that Gray sent to a literary agent, including the detailed review that he wrote about my manuscript. And also a response from that agent, saying that, because of that review, he's interested in meeting with me to talk about my novel, and possibly signing a representation contract. Gray, this is... How?"

" _Loren helped me write the letters. As for specifics, the same guy who gave me those tickets is also well connected within the publishing world. We got to talking during my mission, and he told me most publishers won't even let a new writer through the door unless they have an agent. He called in some favors."_

"This is just...I'm speechless. More so by your review. I mean, I love what you did with the agent, but what you wrote about my novel..."

" _One thing that stuck with me about that job was something my client said: that a writer thrives on the support from their readers. I love your novel. It's a story that deserves to be told. I just told the truth from my heart. You're a brilliant writer, Lucy."_

Lucy was half crying, half laughing, and almost lost herself when she went up to Gray, intending to hug him, but stopped short. He sensed her nearness, and went rigid for a moment, caught by surprise. But he forced himself to calm down, waiting.

"I'm...I'm sorry. I forgot. I was just..."

He sighed and relaxed, opening is arms just a bit. "It's fine... It's just you," he grinned.

With a broad smile, she agreed, stepping into the hug, delicately wrapping her arms around him, and whispering, "It's just me." And even though he still trembled a little, and even though it took a moment for him to return the hug, and even though she could tell he was fighting back against the fear, he breathed out a sigh, and wrapped his arms in a loose grip. And Lucy knew without a doubt, that all her guilt and insecurities she'd still been harboring since her betrayal all those weeks ago had been for naught. For in all that time, she truly had been forgiven.

That night, though they hadn't planned to, they all settled down for an impromptu sleep over when Gray fell asleep leaning against the head board, Joy on his lap. After carefully maneuvering him to lie more comfortably on his side, Joy curling into a ball at his face as usual, they all made their own sleeping arrangements, bedding down for the night.

It was the first full, peaceful night's sleep Gray's had since his whole ordeal began.

To all a good night indeed.

* * *

Christmas morning came. Erza sent Wendy and Carla to Gray's house to meet Lyon, to tell him everyone would be over soon, and to finish the final preparations for Gray's gift.

Knowing that Gray would want to spend Christmas morning with his brother, they offered to join the merriment, and started on their way. It was cold out that morning, but not wet enough to snow. Gray carried Joy in his shirt, much like he had when he'd first brought her home, though one couldn't tell with his coat wrapped around him. The streets and sidewalks were mostly empty, so it was a quick walk to his house.

Lyon and Wendy met them at the door, Carla waiting in the dining room with breakfast served. Reindeer-shaped pancakes with little chocolate chip eyes and whipped cream "snow" all around were the main course that morning. Lyon hid a chuckle when Gray actually took the time to feel the shape of the reindeer, smiling alł the while. Of course he ate the antlers first.

When everything had been cleaned up afterwards, Gray revealed to Lyon that he had a gift for him. Didn't that work out, as Lyon had one for him as well. Still sitting around the dining room table, Gray pulled this item from his cargo pocket, kept separate from his friends' gifts from last night. Handing it to Lyon, he sat back in anticipation. Lyon pulled off the twine and paper, revealing an old journal. He opened it, and found written within years of notes, diagrams, theories, spells, and experiments conducted in Ice Make magic. Static Ice Make, to be precise. All written in Gray's compulsively neat handwriting.

" _You'd always regretted not keeping to Master's teachings as thoroughly as you could have. Ur never kept her own notes, and the books she had were just the basics, except for...the one with that one spell... These are the notes I've made since I was young, as well as any discoveries I made in the art since we separated. It's everything I know about Static Ice Maker magic. I wanted you to be able to master it, if you wanted to."_

Lyon was amazed that Gray would gift him such a valuable book. There was living history in these pages. Chances were, this could be one of the most tested and researched treatises on Ice Maker Magic, period. Could he really accept this?

"Gray, I can't... What about your magic?" If he was giving this to him because he'd given up on ever practicing magic again...

 _"It's fine. I had Levy make a copy for me, using one of her archival tools. It looks old and worn, but it's brand new, and the writings will never fade. I still have the original... I still have many more pages to fill,"_ came his subtle promise to continue his studies in magic.

Lyon was touched. He wasn't sure if he could top this gift. Well, if it were anyone but Gray, maybe not.

"I have a gift for you, too. Hold out your hand."

When he did as asked, he could barely discern a small crystal placed in his palm. It was round and thin, lying flat. He knew it was a recording lacrima. Gray looked up curiously, wondering what Lyon was trying to show him.

"I had planned to give this to you when you returned from your S-class trials, as a celebratory gift. But then, you all disappeared, and in those seven years, I'd put it away and forgot about it. When you returned, things were just hectic, with one crisis after another. But I'd remembered it recently, so when I went back home a few weeks back, I found it again. You're right. Ur never wrote anything down. When she lost Ultear, she saw no reason to. To whom would she pass her magic on? But then we came along, and she found new reason to preserve her knowledge... She never got the chance to really start. Her time with us ended so suddenly."

At this, he paused, quickly assuring, "It wasn't your fault. Deliora was ravaging every village it came across. It was only a matter of time before she would have gone to face it, and who knows how many more lives would have been ruined before then."

Gray merely nodded, so used to the self-flagellation that usually came with these memories, and bade him continue.

"Like I said, she never got much accomplished in recording her knowledge, but what I found was just as valuable. Here." As he said this, he touched the crystal, infusing just a spark of ice magic, the only kind of magic that would unlock this lacrima.

As soon as the lacrima was activated, an image appeared over it of a young woman, short dark hair framing her face, smiling like a proud mom.

Ur had recorded herself. Gray wasn't aware of it until Happy exclaimed that a pretty lady appeared on his hand, and his eyes widened. It couldn't be.

And to add to the awe on his face, she spoke.

" _Just like all maker magic, Ice Maker magic requires you to master two powers as one. The element of ice is beautiful, but deadly. It does not forgive mistakes easily, but if you can learn to control it, it's a marvelous thing to behold. And I've told you this before, but Maker Magic truly is the magic of freedom. Anything you can accomplish is limited only by your imagination. And I know you two have so much creativity inside of you. Lyon, Gray, you are my cute, precious students. You both make me so happy, and you give my life fulfillment. I hope these recordings will help you in your studies, but more so, I hope you both grow to become strong, happy, caring men, who will never forget the bonds we share, or the memories we make. I've learned so much from you two, more than I'd ever taught you, I think—"_

The recording was interrupted by the sound of a door opening, and Ur looking at something off camera, smiling at whatever she saw. Gray, along with everyone else, could here soft mumbling sounds in the background, words completely indistinguishable, but the tone suggested the voice of a young, excited boy.

" _That's wonderful, Gray-kun. Great job. I'll come see it right now."_

The sound of shy shuffling before the door was closed followed, and Ur looked back to the recorder.

" _There's my little artist, now. I guess I'll continue this later... I'm so proud of you boys."_

Ur then reached towards the viewer, and the recording ended.

Gray sat motionless, digesting what he'd just heard. He had just heard Ur's voice for the first time since she defeated Deliora. She sounded just as caring and nurturing as she had so long ago. Lyon slowly closed Gray's fingers over the crystal, and it was like he woke up from a spell, now fully aware of his audience. Before Lyon could pull back, Gray rose and pulled him in as tight a hug as he'd been willing or able to give in so long. Lyon was shocked at the unexpected contact, but pleased and excited at the fact that Gray had initiated it. He returned it firmly yet gently, always mindful of his still healing wounds. He didn't worry at the obvious signs that his brother was crying. He new why those tears fell. He felt the lone tear falling down his own cheek, which he did nothing for.

"You're welcome," Lyon smiled, happy to have witnessed all the emotion behind his gratitude.

Gray pulled away, wiping his face on his sleeve as he went, returning the smile.

"So that was Ur? She was really pretty!" said Wendy.

"Yes she was." replied Lyon.

Gray took his gift and placed it in his shirt pocket. He'd be sure to put it somewhere safer when he had the opportunity. He then said, " _I guess if gifts are done, we can go to the guild now. Or just hang out here if you want. I don't really have any plans for the rest of the day,"_ he gestured, grinning and rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly _._

Erza answered, "Well, actually, we kinda reneged on our 'no presents rule' as well."

Bringing his hand down, he raised an eyebrow, gesturing, " _Big surprise. Now I_ know _you planned all this. Don't tell me you all hid everything here. Just because I can't see doesn't mean I wouldn't notice a tree tucked away in a corner somewhere... Oh, please tell me you didn't hide a tree in here._ "

"Nothing like that. In fact, their present to you wouldn't have fit under a tree anyway. Natsu, turn it on."

On Lyon's cue, Natsu hit a switch by the back door that hadn't been there until yesterday, the team's "last minute Christmas errand." Suddenly, the sound of flowing water could be heard from outside, followed quickly by a soft splashing sound.

Gray stood in shock, knowing what he heard, but not quite its source.

" _What is that?"_ he asked in wonderment.

"Come with us. We'll show you," Lyon said as he offered his arm to guide him to the back yard.

Everyone gathered outside, making room for Gray to stand before his gift. His reaction was priceless.

He turned his head this way and that, listening to the water's flow, and for the source of the splashing sounds. Just listening, feeling the serenity that came with these natural melodies. He could smell the water, as well as the many different plants that surrounded it. There were flowers. They'd managed to find winter blooming plants here?... Wait... He knew that scent.

" _Snow drops,"_ he mouthed in wonder.

Lyon beamed. He _knew_ he'd recognize that smell. These were plants that grew abundantly in their homeland. With all the other kinds of foliage and flowering plants placed around the pond, he'd have different colors and scents to appreciate all year round.

Using his cane, he stepped closer, finding the edge, and bending onto his knee to feel what was there. There were smooth stones placed around the pond, and he brushed his hand across several different plants, finding the snow drops. He took a moment to just feel the soft petals, using first his fingertips, then the sides where they weren't scarred. They were velvety soft and delicate.

Feeling along the stone border, close to the edge, the back of his fingers brushed against an upright piece of stone. He explored it a little, and smiled almost childishly when he discovered it was a small cat statue. Wendy couldn't hold in her pleased giggle when she saw that delight on his face.

Finally moving his hand to the edge, he dipped his fingers in the water, enjoying the feeling of the coolness against his scars. It wasn't as cold as he'd expected. Was the water heated? Why would they—

A nibble

 ** _*Gasp_**!*

_'Flo?!'_

If his silent screams were the most heartbreaking sounds any of his friends had ever heard, then his soundless laughter was the most beautiful.

He laughed; such a joyful, surprised, tear-filled laugh, that it caused everyone's spirited to soar.

" _My_.. _.my fish_? _... Why did...?... You... You found my plans. How... When did you...?"_

It took him a moment to remember that he should look up as he spoke, so Natsu or Wendy could see his face. He slowly and shakily stood up, standing his cane upright so he could grip it with both hands, just to have something to do with them. He was without words to say, even if he _could_ speak. He was so humbled and amazed that they would do something like this for him. Of _everything_ they've done. He looked up towards where he knew they stood. He really had no words for this.

Except

" _Thank you."_

The depths of emotion they could see and feel in those two little words were worth everything to them.

* * *

**_The fluff. Oh the fluff, it's more than I can handle. Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted, cuz there's not gonna be that many light hearted moments for a while. Things start to get real, really soon._ **

**_I wasn't planning on a Christmas chapter. But the story setting started off in late August. With how long injuries like his take to recover from, we were going to hit the holiday season eventually, so why not give them a break. I thought you needed one, too._ **

**_Yes, my family had reindeer-shaped pancakes for breakfast this morning. They are a Christmas tradition in my house. Just draw the head in the pan with batter, flip, plate, add the chocolate chips. It's fun and cute._ **

**_Merry Christmas, everyone!_ **

**_Next Chapter: Gray makes progress, though not in all the right directions. And Erza remembers a deal she made with herself._ **


	30. Progress

**_Will you look at that. Still got some fluff left for you. Enjoy this bit of Gray and Erza bonding._ **

* * *

Wendy threw the old dressings away as Porlyusica examined Gray's skin from every angle. There was noticeable discoloration between the grafted skin and the rest of his back, which was to be expected. They would eventually fade to his normal skin tone more or less within the next year. The severity of the burns pretty much guaranteed permanent scarring to some degree. The less-than-perfect blood flow had been a hindrance to his healing, but after four months, the grafts looked like they were finally fully established. The areas that had been torn last month weren't as smooth, but the skin held. In another year, his back would be as close to normal as they could hope.

His arms were the same. He still felt a painful tightness in his right arm from the tear, but he could pull on a dress shirt by himself now. T-shirts were still a no-go. All the thin scars from when it had used the blade on him, _over and over and over_ , that crisscrossed his body, were mostly faded to white, with some still raised and darkened after all this time. Still visible reminders of one of his most painful encounters with his tormentor, but they no longer stood out as much as they had. Not that he'd ever know. Wendy was sure they would always standout to him. Through constant gesturing and clay molding, his hands have gained more dexterity, and no longer grew stiff like they used to. His chest wound...

Upon removal of the surgical padding a few weeks ago, he had been left with what could delicately be referred to as a large, deep crater in his chest, with just a few layers of blood vessel-rich dermis separating the surface from the muscle underneath. If not for the pain meds, the exposed nerves along the edges of the wound would have been a great hinderance to any movement. The subsequent grafting procedure had resulted in what looked like a thick mesh, strips of skin sliced and laid out in a criss-cross pattern over the cavity, and was meant to grow and eventually cover the rest of the wound. He'd have to keep it dressed until then, which, just as with his back, would take longer than usual because of his damaged circulatory system. It still felt strange, numb and hollow. That sensation would probably never go away.

For the most part, he was no longer required to wear all those dressings other than over his chest wound. With careful preparation, he'd be able to take real baths again, even showers if he was extra careful. He'd have to wear full strength sunblock for the next two years, especially with his, albeit no longer prevalent, stripping habit. He'd also have to adapt to the decreased number of sweat glands along all of his damaged skin, and find alternate ways to keep cool on warmer days.

She relayed all of this information to her patient, who sat there on his ottoman, paying minimal attention. Wendy returned, ready to do the usual sensation check along his back, but paused when she saw the look of concern on Porlyusica's face.

"What's wrong? I know it's been slow, but I thought you'd be happier with the progress so far," asked Porlyusica.

He blinked, becoming alert again. He'd been paying more attention to the sounds coming from his fish pond, than to anything his healers had to say. It was the second week of January now. Lyon had totally called it. His sleep had improved since he'd gotten the pond, and with better rest came a better overall mood. But it was as if this new quality of life came with a toll, and every once in a while, it crept up on him to exact payment.

He'd had a bout of anxiety and edginess shortly after the holidays, that had lasted over a week. He could only thank God he'd still been in a decent mood to make it through his planned evening with Erza, as he'd promised, before that depression had hit him so hard. That had actually been a fun evening, all things considered. So long as she gave plenty of warning before she had to take his hand to guide him anywhere, he could handle her being the only one of his friends there that night. That's how much he trusted her. It didn't hurt that he still had a cordial relationship with his former client, the writer of the musical they had gone to see.

After learning of Gray's unfortunate state, and the bare minimum of the incident that had caused it, he was more than accommodating. Not only had he arranged for them to be allowed in the venue long before the rest of the crowds could enter, but he had provided them access to a private room to relax in while they waited for the crowds to leave afterwards. He'd even introduced them to a few of the main cast of his show, to Erza's delight and Gray's wary amusement.

Erza could only wonder just what kind of job he had done to warrant such favorable treatment from this former client, but that was a story she'd have to get out of him later, as by the time the crowds were gone, he was spent. And other than one small near-panic she'd witnessed him struggle through during one particular song, one that had featured an unfortunate combination of instruments that he'd made an effort to avoid for a while now, he'd gotten through the show relatively fine. All in all, it had been a memorable night.

Gray would later suppose that he should have seen that bout coming. Perhaps he should thank his brain for waiting until after all the festivities were over before being a little shit to him again. It was like a delayed reaction to all the extra stimuli his body wasn't used to experiencing anymore. Too many people, too much noise, too much interactions with his surroundings. He understood that these moods could come out of nowhere, and hit him at any time. Sure was a bitch when it happened, though.

The dull ache that always lived in his head would intensify to near migraine proportions, and his fatigue would keep him inactive, regardless of the amount of sleep he was getting now. In fact, during these attacks, he'd like nothing more than to lay on his couch with nothing but the sounds of water in the background and a "do not disturb" sign on his front door. The only motivation he had to eat during those times was so he could stomach his meds. At first, his team was afraid he'd come down with the flu, but Porlyusica put those fears to rest, only to replace them with the usual worries over his mental well-being. It was so easy to forget about his ongoing struggles when he acted so...normal at times.

So just when they all thought that cycle of depression was over, it looked like he was just given a short breather before it intensified again.

Nervously, Wendy asked, "Did we do something wrong? Were you...?"

_"No. I wasn't drifting. Sorry. I'm just tired...always tired. Are we done yet?"_

"We just need to check the nerve sensations," answered Porlyusica, "Then you can go lie down... If you wouldn't mind indulging an old woman's curiosity, where do you go when you _do_ drift? Can you recall what it's like? Is it always the same?"

He knitted his brow, trying to think on how to answer. This wasn't something he'd given much thought to. Often times, after coming out of a minor one, he wasn't even aware he'd been drifting until someone told him about it, if they had even noticed it themselves.

_"I can't really tell you. I'm not sure where I go. I remember it being cool before... But after I started feeling discomfort from the cold, I noticed the place I go to is pleasantly warm now. It's nice. Sometimes it's hard for me to leave. Is that bad?"_

She didn't want to disparage something that he obviously needed, if it gave him a place to go whenever he required some kind of refuge. It was interesting how his mind was actively creating whatever environment he needed most at any given time. But if he was having trouble coming out of them...

"You needn't worry about that. You leave that to me. We're almost done, so you can rest soon. But first...how do you feel about resuming an exercise regimen?"

Wendy looked at her mentor in surprise. This was the last thing she thought she'd bring up. He'd just literally gotten the bandages taken off. He wasn't yet ready for training, was he?

Gray was just as surprised. Sure, he had a wider range of movement now, but he still suffered from phantom pains constantly, and his lack of magic kept him too weak to participate in more than a few walks each day. That's just something he'd had no choice but to adapt to. Not to mention his heart.

But still, to be able to train again?

_"It's not too soon?"_

"At this point, that's more up to you. If you listen to your body, and don't push yourself too hard, I don't see why I couldn't allow limited, low impact workouts. Some more physical activity would help you in more ways than just getting stronger. I'll make a list of what you may and may not do before I go. I want you to have one of your friends with you at all times, though. And if anything hurts beyond normal muscle pain, or if anything just feels wrong, you will stop and let them know, and they _will_ let me or Wendy know. Agreed?"

He nodded, feeling his mood lift ever so slightly. Wendy was pleased with this new development, as well. They finished the sensation check quickly. His responses were coming more readily now: Although there was some slight numbness throughout, he could at least feel pressure along his entire back again.

She watched him rise steadily, handing him his cane as he stiffly walked pass. It was strange how mental stress could have so many effects on one's physical body. She hoped these new workouts would help loosen him up at least.

Gray shuffled into the dining room, ready for this morning to be over. He zeroed in on the purring sound Joy was giving off. Finding her asleep on his pillow, he cracked a small smile. He sat down, softly petting her to where she didn't stir. ' _At least one of us can wake up refreshed. Are you dreaming right now? Somewhere pleasant?... Think I could join you?'_ he thought enviously.

He laid down on his stomach for now, to apply pressure to the fresh dressings, but also because he'd gotten used to sleeping like that. In a little while, he'd roll over, finally able to sleep on his back again. Joy wasn't even disturbed as he snuggled into his pillow, just giving a yawn and a stretch before settling closer to his face. He'd hoped to sleep the headache away, but that entailed falling asleep in spite of the pain.

Wendy, sensing his discomfort, came in some time later with a cold cloth, placing it over the back of his neck. He was halfway in a doze when he felt the sudden coolness sap some of the fire away. He sighed, flickering his eyes a little, before falling into a deeper sleep. Wendy was pleased with herself. She was getting good at these slower, ordinary ways of comfort and healing.

* * *

Laxus was lounging in his seat by the bar, watching the mid morning crowd go about their routine. The old crone had pulled his grandfather aside a while ago to update him on Gray's condition. Hopefully it wouldn't be another set back. He leaned back in his chair to watch each group come and go, focusing on a few conversations here and there. It's not like he was eavesdropping on purpose. It's just that his enhanced hearing couldn't help but to get drawn in on occasion.

There were the usual bragging stories of mission successes, with a few sorrowful tales from the poor saps who'd failed. Max was fussing at Nab again. ' _Just get a job as a gate guard somewhere, if all you wanna do is stand around staring at crap,'_ he thought. It was the group of mages that stood near them that drew his attention, a few of the newer members who'd joined after the war with Alvarez. They were discussing something that happened in the north recently. What the hell was so special about the north, that all the crap seemed to happen there these days?

"They just up and disappeared. Vanished like they were never there. Left all their things behind. And the weirdest thing is that lots of them left food cooking. Bunch of the houses burnt down since no one was there to turn off the stoves. The fire's what got the neighboring villages' attention," said guy who's name he didn't know. Cana's irreverence was rubbing off on him, it seemed.

"That's freakin spooky. You think some demon came along, scared them all off?" asked guy two.

"A demon would have torn up the whole village. Far as I heard, nothing was damaged...Hey. Is it true we got a guy here who survived something like that? I heard he kills demons for a living now," said guy three.

"Oh, right. You're talking about the guild's resident psycho—"

That caught Laxus' ear.

"— I guess you missed it when he had that total freak out a while back. Right here in the guildhall. Guy's a total whack job. Even took a kid hostage. Can't believe her parents still let the guy hang out with her."

"Wait, you mean the blind guy? He's the demon slayer I heard about? What good is a fighter who can't see?"

"That's what I'm saying! And you should see what he hides under his clothes. Looks like he dove into a pile of broken glass. No one knows how he got like that. Probably went nuts and did it to himself. Makes sense, actually. Have you seen his wrists? I heard he tried to off himself more than once. His team probably knows what he did. No way you'll ever get them to talk, though. They're always covering for him."

"I'm gonna shut you up now, if you wanna keep your teeth," said guy one, "Don't ever bring that crap up. Not around him, and especially not around his team. You shouldn't talk about shit you don't understand. If you paid attention, you’d have noticed those marks on his wrist go all the way around. Those are f*cking restraint marks. You weren't here when all that stuff with him went down, so shut up about it. The man deserves his privacy. Hell, all the old timers of this guild will put you in your place real quick if they hear you talking about that. And don't _ever_ bring up his past. You're gonna learn real quick that's one of the unspoken rules around here."

Laxus slowly released the righteous fury that had been simmering at all those idiotic words. He had to give guy number one some credit. He'd just saved his boys a world of hurt from "being put in their place". They risked more than losing a few teeth. Still, he wondered if he could convince Mirajane to limit the other two idiots to low paid missions for a while. Just until after their rents were due. Once she heard his reasons, she'd probably do so with a cheerful, if mean, smile. He then snorted at the idea that the newer members referred to his generation as the "old timers".

He felt a tap on his shoulder, turning to find Mira beckoning him towards the old man's office. Lisanna was with her, so she must be in on this meeting as well. That's odd. Usually, when he and Mira were summoned, it had to do with S-Class business.

ooooo

Makarov sat behind his desk, going over what he'd just been told.

_"I've given him a very thorough exam. He's healing as expected, though I'm concerned about something else. We haven't been doing enough to address the mental traumas he'd endured. I shoulder some of that blame. I'm so used to using magic to heal the wounded, even I was unprepared for what his symptoms actually pointed towards. From the very beginning, he's been in an almost constant catatonic state."_

_"How do you mean? I thought being catatonic was similar to being unconscious."_

_"Such as when he drifts?"_

_..._

_"There are different stages, but I'm not an expert of the mind, so I'd been missing the signs, but they were always there. The memory lapses. The depression and self harm. The drifting. The constant fatigue, fear, and agitation he experiences. I'd wager to say he's still being traumatized by his own mind, and the stress and fears are manifesting physically. That's why he's in pain all the time, even though most of his injuries are more or less healed._

_"And there is one more thing: The damage to his vocal chords was extremely severe, but they should have mostly healed by now. I'm sure screaming during some of his more frightening episodes haven't helped, but he should have healed at least to the point where he'd have some limited speech. Yet he still can't make a sound, even when he tries. He still screams those silent screams, even in his sleep, so he's not doing it on purpose. Mutism is another sign of catatonia, and his case is what led me to this diagnosis. Something in his mind is causing these symptoms, and none of my treatments can help him."_

Porlyusica left him with quite the puzzle. After thinking it over, the one thing that came to mind that could possibly have been so traumatizing as to render Gray in such a state, what would have ruined anyone, including himself, would have had to have been the instrument of his torture.

His own mother.

Just thinking of the sorrow and anguish his child must have endured breaks his heart. He couldn't even bring himself to imagine how he would have reacted if his own mother had been resurrected for the sole purpose of torturing him to death. And his child had been forced to live through it, and possibly even continued to relive it during every idle hour in his waking day, and every sleepless night since then. He couldn't even find respite in his dreams, apparently.

His thoughts were interrupted when his grandson entered his office, followed by Lisanna. Mira arrived soon after with Cana and Levy.

Seeing who was present, it didn't take a genius to figure out why they were here. Cana was the one who spoke their minds.

"Are we finally gonna confront Gray about his mom?"

"That's the reason I brought you all here. Laxus, you're absolutely sure that hair belonged to her?"

"One hundred percent."

"*Sigh* What were your reactions when you found out? And how do you think he'd take it if he learned that we knew?"

"It doesn't matter what we thought. I know for a fact that his walls are gonna go up. He's not ready to confront this. If he was, he would have brought it up himself," said Cana.

"Are you sure about that? We've seen him lose it over some weird shit, but he's usually pulled himself back together afterwards," replied Laxus.

"No, he only looks that way. The incident with Juvia really set him back. His symptoms got worse, not better. He just hides it better now. He goes out of his way to appear normal, but he ends up exhausting himself before too long," said Mirajane.

"Maybe we should tell him about the remains. If he could lay them to rest, maybe he could have some closure," suggested Levy, who had eyed the urn and the drawstring bag every day since she'd come back from Heleborus.

"Or he'll be pissed off that we've been secretly holding onto pieces of his dead mom for all these months," said Cana.

"I think Mira-nee has a point. If what happened with Juvia made him almost have a heart attack, what would happen if we brought this up? And how would we do it? Are we just gonna force him to confront what happened?" asked Lisanna.

"Tsk. If you wanna make the kid drift forever. I think we should bring his team in first. Get their opinions. They know him better than anyone, and he'd have more people around to keep him from losing it," said Laxus.

Makarov considered all of this, and came to a decision.

"I agree with Laxus. Gray's team has been his rock throughout everything that he's been through since the beginning. They need to know what's going on if they are to help him through this trial. Thank you for your counsel. You're free to go."

As they left, Makarov turned his thoughts inwards, still wondering if he's making the right decision. It made the most sense. And if coming to terms with this would help him heal, it's better done sooner rather than later.

"Mavis, help us," he sighed.

* * *

"...That's good, nice and slow. Breathe in, circle around, and breathe out as you move forward...repeat once more...you're doing great...keep your arm up...easy...circle around...and breathe...good. Well done. We're finished. Here, drink some more water."

Erza and Gray were in his backyard, taking up a space in the small natural area in the rear, among the trees and shrubs. The small number of young evergreens provided shade in the few instances when the sun shone through the thick clouds, and there was plenty of clear space without rocks and pebbles to trip on.

They had just completed their cool down, a few minutes of Tai Chi to stretch out sore muscles and calm down their, mostly Gray's, racing hearts. Their workout today consisted of a warm up of modified pushups and sit-ups, which were surprisingly difficult with half of one's ab muscles torn up by rune carvings, as they'd found out. They followed that up with some sword exercises, using a set of bokken that Gray kept on hand. Erza was surprised that he hadn't just used ice every time he worked on his swordsmanship before. He replied that sometimes he just liked to workout without the use of magic. He never thought he'd benefit from that foresight so well.

They'd worked on style and technique today, focusing on basic movements in order for Gray to strengthen his arms and back muscles. There was no sparring involved, as one didn't use bokken to spar with anyway. Maybe when Gray got stronger and more confident in his movements, they'd move on to actually crossing swords together. That would certainly help him develop his spatial awareness and reflexes.

She watched as he rubbed at his right shoulder and around the new grafts. Everyone knew he'd have more difficulty using that arm, but he's lived with it for this long, was well aware of his range of motion there, and had grown used to the pain that came with forcing its use. This kind of discomfort he was quite used to, having experienced its type throughout his physical therapy. Porlyusica had assured him that so long as he could still move it, even through the pain, without pulling on the grafts, that continuing to do so would help in the long run. He just saw it as another form of therapy. Erza couldn't agree with allowing Gray to purposely cause himself pain, but she wasn't the medical expert. She may not be his healer, but she _was_ his friend, and she could make sure he didn't push himself too far, at least.

"How do you feel? You don't feel faint, do you? You better not try to hide it this time."

He wiped the sweat off his face with his sleeve before he answered. He looked kind of insulted. _"I told you. I didn't hide it last time. It freakin snuck up on me."_

Their first training session wasn't nearly as successful as today. Well, perhaps unsuccessful wasn't the right word. They'd definitely learned a lot that first attempt. With Natsu helping, they started out with easy stretches, to get the maximum range of motion they were going to get. Then they started with a simple spar. By simple, that meant letting Gray use Natsu as a practice dummy. Said dummy was only allowed to block and dodge, no punching at all. Gray would need more time to develop his other senses enough to evade and block oncoming attacks himself.

That had been their intention, at least, until Natsu let himself get drawn into the spar, and instinct made him throw a punch. Erza saw it in his stance and how he projected his movements, and knew the attack was coming, a berating already leaving her lips before he even made impact...which never came. Gray had blocked him. And then surprised him with an immediate follow through when he rammed his fist into his solo plexus, forcing him to stagger back.

Both of them looked at Gray in stunned disbelief.

"How'd you do that?!" Natsu yelled.

Breathing hard, he replied, _"Why are you so surprised I got one through? I'm surprised you dropped your guard."_

"No, he didn't. He threw a punch at you, which you blocked," Erza informed, smiling. "Did you not notice?"

 _"Still blind. And no, I just reacted. I started visualizing what Natsu was doing, based on where he placed his feet, and where his hands and arms were as he blocked. I guess it was instinct."_ He then paused, thinking for a moment, before unexpectedly throwing a bruising punch against Natsu's arm. _"The Hell were you punching at a blind guy, you idiot?!"_

"Ow! Hey! I just reacted, too. And how the Hell can you tell where my feet are?"

_"The ground's littered with leaves and twigs, ash-for-brains. They snap and crunch with every step. It's how I know where both of you are when you're not talking."_

"Your hearing has improved, I see," observed Erza.

Shaking his head, he informed, _"That's just a myth. My other senses don't improve just because one of them stops working. I just focus more on them now."_

"Well whatever it is, does that mean we can spar for real?" Natsu asked hopefully.

Erza thought about that, and imposed a stipulation that Natsu would have to hold back his strength, and to avoid certain areas (i.e. the upper right chest, abdomen, and upper back) just in case Gray missed a few attacks.

That was a good call, as after a few minutes of Gray's not-so-bad display, he started flagging, and more punches made contact than not.

He suddenly staggered, catching himself on a surprised Natsu—

"Hey, you alright?!"

—before he passed out.

"I didn't hit him that hard, I swear!" he cried as he gently lowered him to the ground.

"I know. He just fainted. He must have reached his limit for today. We neglected to take his weakened blood flow and magic fatigue into account."

After carrying him inside to a fretting Lyon, he came to after a few minutes, and received a relieved yet exacerbated question about why he hadn't told them he wasn't feeling well.

_"I felt fine. At least, I felt no different than usual, which is fine given my current criteria. Besides...I was having fun."_

No one could remember the last time he'd said that, so they let it go, with a new rule that workouts would have a shorter duration for now on, with many breaks in between.

Now, they'd gathered their things and headed inside, Erza putting the bokken away as Gray went to shower. Lyon was out on a mission until later in the afternoon, leaving just Erza there with Gray today. Natsu and Lucy had taken their own mission, and wouldn't be back until the next day. No one seemed to notice how much more often she'd been volunteering to stay with him lately, or that she'd been sticking around town more often, allowing Natsu, Lucy, and Happy to go on missions on their own whenever they felt that need for adventure. Though she was just a little disappointed in their lack of attention to such an obvious change in her behavior, she was glad to be able to keep her reasons from them. They deserved to enjoy some peace without dealing with the concerns she kept to herself.

She wondered what they would do until Lyon returned. It was too early for lunch, so maybe they'd walk around town today, or go to the park and try some new O and M exercises Loren had suggested. If he was feeling up to it. She didn't want to put too much pressure to perform upon him. He had a poor tendency of doing things for others needlessly, instead of looking out for his own desires.

As she waited at the dining table, enjoying a quick snack of cake, she noticed Joy peaking at her from her basket. Usually she claimed Gray's pillow like a queen, but she seemed shy around Erza. It wasn't that Gray was possessive over his fur baby and didn't want others to play with her. On the contrary, whenever he was in one of his sociable moods, he was quite generous in passing her around, espousing on how soft her fur was and how super cuddly she could be. She never looked amused when he was like that, but she always put up with it, because she loves her daddy, and he gives the best scritches.

But when he wasn't within sight, she tended to be wary around everyone else but Lyon, and that's only because his smell was everywhere. She eyed Erza as cats do, sizing her up for potential trouble, it seemed. As they had their staring contest, Erza heard the water finally turn off. Gray had recently discovered that the sensation of water running down his back was downright euphoric to him now, and would spend more time than necessary just standing under the spray.

As she waited for him to come out, she gathered the necessary items to redress the new skin grafts on his chest. Because they were recently grafted, they needed to be redressed twice a day. Gray had assured pretty much everyone, multiple times with some people, that he was fine with Erza doing it, and to stop fretting over such a trivial thing as a five minute wound check.

She heard the bathroom door open and the swish of his cane along the floor, so she went to sit on the couch to wait. He entered, wearing just a pair of dark jeans, tossing a fresh shirt over a chair for if they decided to go anywhere later. He towel dried his hair the best he could, and even though his arms still didn't reach as high as they should, he managed.

She eyed the healing wound now, still a distressing thing to see out in the open. It was almost completely covered by the spreading grafts now, though some spots still showed gaps here and there. He sat, putting the towel aside. He showed a relaxed posture, but he couldn't hide the slight trepidation in his eyes. She knew this could be an issue, but she believed he'd come a long way when it came to contact with women. He'd even let Lucy hug him last month. That was incredible progress for him.

"It's okay. I won't hurt you... It... It's just me" she said softly, remembering how theses words seemed to help every time Lucy said them.

He inhaled sharply, before shaking his head, gesturing slowly, so Erza could catch his words more easily, _"It's not that, not really. I'm not afraid of you. I can't control how I react...and I don't want to hurt you."_

She had to smile at that. As sweet as he was to worry, as strong as he was still, and as unpredictable his reactions could be on any given day, she had no doubt she could stop him from hurting her. She told him as much.

Now he had to smile, though more sadly. _"That never crossed my mind. What I meant was, I don't want my rejection to make you sad. You're incredibly strong, and your strength comes from your feelings towards us. You let your emotions drive you, and embrace them so completely. I just don't want..."_

He stopped, not sure how to explain himself more clearly, knowing she's still not as knowledgeable in Gesture Speak as Lyon or Lucy, or even Asuka.

But she understood enough, and was happy that he'd consider her feelings like this.

"It's okay. I know how you really feel about us. I won't take offense... Nothing you've said or done has made me ever think any less of you. In fact, my respect for your resilience and perseverance grows every day. You have nothing to worry about. Not from me. Now, why don't we get this finished. You look ready to fall over right now," she said sympathetically.

"*Chuckle* _Yeah, well, these workouts definitely get me tired enough to actually fall asleep now."_

"I'm glad they're good for that at least."

So they went through the process as Lyon had instructed. He sat ramrod straight, hands gripping his pants on top of his thighs tightly to keep them still, while he tried to keep from trembling. She allowed him to apply the balm over the wound himself, to keep any irritation down. He breathed unsteadily at times, and his breath hitched whenever her hand brushed his skin instead of gauze. When she was done, he had a thin padding of gauze packed into the now much shallower wound, covered with a fresh dressing taped in place. He could finally relax, moving to lie down as Erza got up from the couch.

She looked at him curiously, seeing how he was trying to position himself. "Shouldn't you lie on your back now? With the grafts..."

He paused just long enough to Gesture lazily, _"New dressing, pressure helps keep in place,"_ before dropping down on his stomach.

She merely hummed in acknowledgment, putting everything away. She came back to check on him, finding Joy had taken her place on his pillow. She quirked her one ear towards Erza, but kept her head down. No threat there. She was about to pull a blanket over him, when she noticed him fidget, trying to get comfortable.

"Do you need anything? You look really tense."

He waited a bit, before sighing and turning over again, this time all the way to his back. That position was taking a while to get used to. It felt weird, like half his back was asleep. Staring at the ceiling, he kept his hands on his chest, one pressed over the dressing, deciding how much to say. May as well be truthful.

 _"It's always like this. I could go boneless and still have trouble getting everything to shut down. I'm too sore and too tired to care. I'll drop off eventually,"_ he finished, dropping his hands heavily and closing his eyes.

He must have been too tired to remember how much Erza was able to understand, but she got the gists of that. "Doesn't sound very restful."

He just shrugged. He'd had the same conversation more than once with Lyon, Porlyusica, and even Wendy. The little lady could be kinda bossy when the situation called for it.

She brought one of the dining chairs over and sat, thinking maybe some company and small talk would help him relax. Then she remembered that night months ago, his first night awake, when she'd found herself in a similar situation. She remembered how, after he'd...fallen asleep, that even unconscious he was stressed, his whole body knotted up. That put an idea in her head. But how receptive would he be to it? If he would allow a hug from Lucy, would he be willing to let her...?

"Gray?" She asked softly.

He shifted, letting her know he heard.

Before she could change her mind, she continued, "If you think it would help, and if you want—it's entirely up to you—but if you think you'd be okay with it, I could help you loosen up all those knots in your back?"

After a moment of confusion, he opened one eye, looking towards her voice, gesturing, _"You mean like a massage?"_

She guessed that last word was what she'd meant, judging by the motions, and she said yes.

He didn't look nervous yet. That was good. She let him think about it, not wanting to push him. But after a minute or two, she started to think she was rushing things with her suggestions when he finally answered.

_"You'd do it?"_

Lyon's words from that time came back to her.

_"Don't worry so much. He knows you won't hurt him. He trusts you more than anyone. He can't control how he reacts to certain people. It's considerate of you, trying to be so accommodating, but if you keep avoiding him like that, you'll only make him feel worse. Just don't catch him by surprise."_

She could do this. It's obvious he trusted her, or at least trusted her more than others with this kind of thing.

"Yes. But I could hire someone else if you'd prefer?"

 _"No! Don't want anyone else here...no one else to see..."_ he ended, alluding to his scars. She'd thought it was the cold that had kept his shirt on throughout their workout today.

"... You have nothing to be ashamed of. And nothing to fear. So...?

It didn't sound so bad. And if it helped him relax...

He nodded. _"Right here?"_

Pleased, she answered, "Wherever you're comfortable."

Another pause, and before he could lose his nerve, he stiffly rose to turn over again, placing his arms under the pillow before lying down. Joy looked a little annoyed at being disturbed yet again, and seemed to give a look towards Erza, like it was all her fault.

Now that she could actually study his back, she could see full proof of his need for this. His back had visible knots everywhere. Not surprising, what with the nature of his injuries and constant stress he's been under. No wonder he was having trouble getting comfortable.

She kneeled down beside the couch, wondering how she should proceed. She was a little nervous. She understood that his back was as healed as it would ever get, and that it's discolored appearance was mostly cosmetic. Having seen how it had looked before the grafts, she really couldn't be upset. But she would still try to be gentle, to be just firm enough. Deciding to start at the top and work her way down, she was about to start, but caught herself when she saw him hold back a flinch. Focused on his upper back, she hadn't noticed the cold sweat starting to form elsewhere until now, nor how his brow was knitted. She wondered if he was aware of the slight wetness in his eyes. She felt sorry for him. It looked like the man was doing this more for her than for himself, and was starting to regret the decision, but didn't want to let her down.

Recalling how Lucy had handled similar situations, and how certain words seemed to allow him to focus on the now instead of back then, she used her calmest voice, and quietly repeated, "It's okay. It's just me."

Some words triggered bad memories, and people will avoid them like the plague. But it's good to be aware of positive triggers as well.

He calmed down noticeably, taking in a deep breath before letting it out as he closed his eyes, giving his silent assent to begin. She slowly, tentatively brought her hands to his shoulders. He jerked, eyes opening in shock, but he held his breath and gritted his teeth, reminding himself that it wasn't _HER_ , before slowly exhaling and closing his eyes again. She took that as permission to continue. Using her thumbs, she started out with small circles, massaging the knots as she found them along his upper back. She moved down his spine, always starting at the center, moving methodically outward, finding a rhythm as she alternated using her palms, knuckles, and thumbs again, changing the pressure applied depending on location and severity of the knots.

It was difficult for him at first. Yes, he trusted her, and yes, he had ample warning of what to expect, but it was still a feat of courage and endurance for him to allow such a prolonged and intimate touch. He was wound so tightly, and he knew she could tell, with how hesitant she still seemed. But she kept at it, and slowly, his tension began to lessen. She'd always been very perceptive, and as he gradually relaxed, her movements steadily grew bolder.

He started feeling a tingling sensation within his brain, going down his spine, as he could almost physically feel the endorphins releasing as natural pain killers throughout his body. It felt good, blissful even, and his mind started to wander. His ever present headache slowly dissolved. So did his anxiety. Never thinking he'd ever again be able to relax while alone in a room with just one woman, even one as faithful and as caring as Erza, the sense of relief that came with the realization of his growing ease with her was overwhelming. He was unaware of the trust he was showing as he unconsciously let his guard down. Before either of them noticed, he'd fallen asleep.

Erza was more than aware of how much trust he'd just shown in his willingness to allow such a vulnerability in her presence. She was relieved, and grateful that this idea had been such a good one. She was absolutely going to add massage therapy to his weekly regimen for now on. So much for going out today. Oh well. He obviously needed a nap. As she finally pulled the blanket over him, she watched Joy stretch and yawn, before padding onto the small of Gray's back. She kneaded the material a bit, before dropping herself down, facing her back to her, looking at her over her shoulder with expectation.

"Is it your turn, now?" Erza smiled. Reaching for her missing ear, she rubbed the nub gently, just as she'd seen Gray do, enjoying the purring sound as Joy nudged her head more firmly against Erza's hand. She knew what she wanted and wasn't shy about demanding it. Erza did this for a minute or two, before ending with a few soft pets along the kitten's back. She stretched again before curling into a ball, right where she'd settled on Gray's back. Far be it for Erza to disturb the little princess now.

"Glad to have met with your approval," she whispered.

Rising from the chair, she replaced it at the table, and turned out the lights as she left the dining room, deciding to take her own shower before starting on lunch.

She smiled to herself. They'd made a lot of progress today.

* * *

**_So, he's healing up nicely, the skin grafts are coming out well, he's learned that he can allow women to touch him without completely losing it, and he can finally workout again. Wendy has gained more confidence in her abilities, and Natsu's not too afraid of breaking him again, even willing to spar with him a little. Cheers all around._ **

**_I'm a few hours early in updating tonight. How appropriate, that my last update of the year is sort of a transition piece to a different tone for this story. Happy New Year!_ **

**_Next chapter: Team Natsu discovers something painful, while Gray's feeling out of sorts._ **


	31. Buried Secrets

"We're finally not moving! Freeedooom!"

"Aye, sir!"

"Stop that! You're embarrassing me!"

Natsu, Lucy, and Happy gathered their things as people passed on the way off the train, leaving them a wide berth, much to Lucy's annoyance. ' _Why couldn't Natsu suffer through his motion sickness gracefully, instead of making a show of it on every trip?'_ she thought. Then she stopped and repeated that thought. That wasn't being very generous of her. How would she like it if she had to suffer something beyond her control, and someone just told her to get over it? These past few months of witnessing what Gray went through every day had certainly taught her to sympathize with other's sufferings, even the annoying kinds.

Their recent mission was a success, and they even managed to keep their reward money this time. Things have been going pretty well lately. Missions have been steady, Levy and Freed have reported some new successes in finding possible leads to a cypher for those seals, and Gray's finally able to train again, even if just a little. Lucy was in a good mood as she got off the train. As she looked up, that mood was threatened when she saw Cana waiting for them at the station, an urgent look on her face.

"Cana, what's wrong? Did something happen?" asked Lucy.

Natsu grew instantly serious, thinking the worse must have happened if they'd sent someone to get them right away, instead of waiting for them to show up at the guild.

"You could say that. Master needs to meet with your team right away. We've already sent for Erza and Wendy."

"What about Gray?" Natsu asked in trepidation.

"No. Not Gray. Just you guys."

"Cana, what's going on?" asked Lucy.

"Yeah. This either has nothing to do with Gray, or absolutely _everything_ to do with him. So spill," Natsu growled.

Shaking her head as she turned, Cana replied, "Not here. We're going to Master's office. Everything will be explained there."

They arrived at the guild hall, meeting Wendy and Lisanna at the door. She had no idea what was going on either, just that Lisanna had come to her dorm to fetch her for a meeting. Erza was already waiting with Master Makarov and Laxus. It would just be those two with the rest of the team, as Cana shut the door on her way out.

"Ji-chan, what the hell is going on. What happened to Gray?!" yelled Natsu.

"Yes, why isn't he here? He was fine when I left him with Lyon last night," said Erza.

"Gray is not in any immediate danger," Makarov calmed, "but this does concern him. After much deliberation and debate, I've decided it is time I revealed to you the identity of the woman who was with him in the chamber."

That garnered their immediate, undivided attention.

"The woman in..." stuttered Lucy.

"You mean the bitch who tortured him?! Who was she?!" demanded Natsu.

"What do you mean by reveal? How long have you known?" asked a deceptively calm Erza.

"Everyone please have a seat. I will explain everything. But it is important that you not react until I'm done. I know your first impulse will be to hunt her down and punish her, but I think you already know that she was dead from the very beginning."

"Um, if she's dead, then why do we need to know who she was?" wondered a nervous Wendy.

Makarov nodded towards Laxus, who pulled open a drawstring bag he'd been holding, emptying it onto the top of the desk, before stepping back.

"A lock of hair?" asked Lucy.

"It matches the woman's. So the necromancer used this to summon her?" asked Erza

"And to control her, we assume, yes," confirmed Makarov. He directed his gaze to Natsu and Wendy, both of whom had varied expressions on their faces that didn't surprise him. They'd both caught the scent right away.

"Ji-chan, what...?" said Natsu in dismay, his face going white.

Wendy's eyes were brimming with held back tears, as all she could get out was, "No... this is... How cruel..."

"Natsu, Wendy, what are you—," Erza paused, looking at the hair once more, "Whose hair is that?"

Makarov answered for them. "While it was indeed the necromancer who had tortured Gray, the instrument of his torture was the reanimated body of his own mother."

Lucy held her hands to her mouth in shock and horror. This was beyond desecration. She couldn't even comprehend what she was feeling right now. This was just... his own _mother?!_

 _"_ Why?"

Everyone looked to Natsu, wondering what exactly he was asking.

"Why does... Why can't we... How could this happen?! Why does this shit keep happening to him! All this crap wasn't enough? He was almost dead when we found him! He's still suffering, everyday, from what was done to him! On top of everything, that bastard used his own... **Why can't we protect him from this shit!** " he yelled in frustration, anger, despair.

"He wasn't calling out for his mom... He was afraid of her..." Wendy mumbled sadly, remembering his episode while under withdrawal.

"How long have you known? Why did you... wait to tell us?" asked a heartbroken Erza.

"Gajeel brought that hair," Laxus supplied, "along with the remains of others, back from the necromancer's lair while you guys were still at the hospital. I sent Cana to tell Master what we'd learned."

"You've known since way back then?!" cried Lucy.

"If Gray had wanted _anyone_ to know, he'd have told us," answered Makarov, "That was my reasoning back then. With everything that he was going through, he didn't need his pain compounded by having that subject brought up as well. I thought it best to wait, until he was strong enough to deal with it. To allow him to take things a little at a time. If you had known before, can you honestly say one of you wouldn't have forced the issue, in a misguided attempt to hurry his recovery along? Or allowed the fact that you knew slip out? I think you can imagine how sensitive a subject this would be for him. There's only so much pain a man can deal with at once."

"I think he's already proven how much pain he can take at once," responded Natsu.

"So what's changed?" asked Lucy, "Why are you telling us now?"

"I've come to realize it was a mistake to wait this long. I thought to protect him from this pain, but allowing it to remain untouched has only allowed it to fester. He may have healed a great deal from his physical injuries, but in other aspects, he's gotten worse. His mental traumas have been manifesting in alarming ways: causing pain where there were no injuries, and which medicines won't bring relief; his paranoia about being in his own home alone; his few occasions of self injury. Most concerning is the fact that he still hasn't spoken, even though Porlyusica is sure he is physically able to do so."

This was news to them, though Wendy had started to suspect a while ago.

"What should we do? He needs to confront this eventually. But how do we even bring this up?" asked Lucy.

"Now that you know, I hope it will help you to better understand some of his reactions, and how to further help him cope. We don't need to rush into things. I know it's been too long, but we have to think carefully on how to proceed from here."

"Where is he now?" asked Wendy.

"Lyon mentioned sparring with him again this morning. They're probably at home," said Erza.

Natsu knocked his chair down as he stood, heading for the door.

"Natsu—"

"You just said waiting was a mistake! If this is hurting him, we need to do something about it now!"

"But what if this makes things worse?" worried Lucy.

"How?! _Not_ doing anything hasn't done crap! It's not like we're springing a big secret on him. _He_ already knows what his mom did to him! So _what_ if he finds out we know now? If anything, he keeping this secret from us probably made it worse! We can't just sit on this. He's gonna react badly, no matter what. It's better he does it sooner than later, and way better to deal with it with us rather than alone!" He hurried out the door, nothing but his destination in mind as the others hurried after him.

Wendy paused for just a moment, just long enough for a final look at the hair, a ghost of an idea gone as soon as it appeared. She shook her head at the thought, before joining her friends.

"Well this is gonna end badly," said Laxus as he gathered the hair into the bag.

"That's the problem with this situation. We have no idea what will happen. Put us up against a dark guild, and we can prevail with little doubt of what decisions need to be made. But when it comes to the complexities of the mind, so many things can go wrong, just as often as they'll go right. I just couldn't decide how to handle this."

"No, you just couldn't decide alone. But you _did_ make the decision to seek help, which was the best thing to do here," Laxus confirmed.

Makarov looked at his grandson with so much affection, and his eyes started welling up with unshed tears, comically growing into wide saucers.

Laxus was taken aback, never sure how to handle this soft, mushy side of his grandfather.

"Cu... Cut it out! I only stated a fact!" he shouted bashfully.

With a huge grin, Makarov observed, "My cute little grandson has grown into a fine, wise young man... He'll make a great guild master one day."

"Hmph," was Laxus' reply, though he didn't hide his small, proud grin as he crossed his arms.

Makarov sobered, and said, "Let's just hope this will be the right decision in the long run."

* * *

Lyon was starting to see the advantages to this Static Ice Make style. For him, Dynamic Ice Make had so many uses in a fight. Why face your enemy up close when you could have a pride of lions stalk your target, or a troop of baboons overwhelm your foe? Sure, it's good to be proficient in a number of weapons, but that's only if close combat was your style. He'd never really cared so much for the trifle things Ice Make was good for. Oh, he had, on occasion, created a fine looking chair or a bed while out in the field, but they were merely functional. He hadn't worry about aesthetics.

So he never really considered the intricacies involved in making something as simple looking as a full length punching bag. But there really was more to it than a basic shape. As Gray pounded into it, paying more attention to his form than power, Lyon held it in place, feeling each impact of his punches through the bag. He thought about the finer details of this particular creation.

He couldn't just make a punching bag from ice, not without some depth to it. Without detail, it would just be a sculpture, a solid chunk of ice. This creation required him to concentrate on making hundreds of thousands of minuscule pieces of ice as the filler, while the shell had to be strong enough to withstand a beating but flexible enough to cushion the blows. That entailed refraining from forming something solid, instead creating layers upon layers of firmly packed ice, in such a way as to mimic the feeling of leather.

Gray had a whole lot more skill than he'd ever given him credit for. And these observations towards attention to the finer details were among some of the first few entries from his gifted journal. He could only imagine the treasures he'd find in the latter pages.

Lyon noticed a surge in the intensity of the strikes. He looked at Gray's face and grew concerned. He was sure he should call for a break, but as soon as he opened his mouth, Gray started adding knees and kicks to his attacks. He was solely focused on his target in front of him, and delivered each blow with precision and efficiency, no action wasted, no lapse in his rhythm. The look on his face had changed. Before, he was all about concentration and technique. But at some point, he became, it seemed, more focused inward. His eyes, though never focused, looked more dazed than usual. His countenance was set in a determined frown, anger radiating from him.

This lasted several minutes, until he suddenly stopped the beating, grabbing onto the bag and leaning into it, breathing heavily. Lyon could see steam rising from him as his sweat evaporated into the cold air, joining the mist billowing from his mouth. It was still kind of strange for Lyon to see Gray's breath misting in the cold. His own breath hadn't done that since he was nine.

"Are you ready to stop?" Because surely by now, he knew how far he could work his body before it _made_ him stop.

He just nodded, still relying on the punching bag for support. He unzipped his shirt to just above his heart's surgical scar, allowing the cold air to offer relief to his heated skin. Even in the privacy of his back yard, he was still reluctant to show his scars outside.

Opening his eyes but still leaning his head down, he gestured for water, sucking down half the bottle as soon as it was handed to him, before pouring the rest down his neck and back. Lyon would have to get more stringent in making him rest between sets. Since most of the sweat glands in his back were gone, he was now prone to over heating. He made a mental note to ask Porlyusica about necessary measures to take during the warmer seasons.

Gray let go of the bag and stepped away as Lyon cancelled the spell, before allowing him to lead him back to the deck to sit for a minute. He'd need to do some cool down stretches before he was done, but for just a minute, he needed a breather.

"I think your stamina's improving. You lasted longer than last time we did this," said Lyon as he sent a wave of coolness throughout Gray's shirt.

Gray nodded his relieved thanks before sitting back and replying, _"It helps to visualize an appropriate target. Loren suggested that."_

"So that's why you requested a punching bag the day after he was here last... Dare I ask what you were picturing?"

"... _When you fought the flesh zombies, were they cold?"_

Whoa. Back up. Did this qualify as dangerous territory? Gray did _not_ bring up the incident without preamble.

"Um... I didn't really... have the opportunity to get that close to one."

Nodding like this was just any boring topic, Gray continued, " _I couldn't tell at first. The one I fought wasn't cold to me, but it wasn't warm either. That should have been my first clue that something was wrong about them."_

...

Lyon wasn't sure how to respond to that. They'd all said at some point or another that what happened to him wasn't his fault, but his choice of words sure indicated that he didn't completely believe them.

" _It's colder, but the punching bag felt like them. It felt like punching a corpse. You did a really good job making it this time. It was... almost cathartic."_

Lyon never knew what to think of this Gray. He was doing very well last night when Erza left, and was pretty easy going this morning, if tired looking, which he _was_ quite used to, unfortunately. Did he have a mood swing while he was kicking that imaginary zombie's ass? One would think he'd be more... uplifted?... after something like that. But who could really tell with the way Gray's mind worked these days?

"You're in an awfully morbid mood today," he observed.

" _Sorry. Just... bad dreams I guess."_

"Same ones?" Lyon asked sympathetically.

" _Always... Ready for cool down?"_

"Whenever you are."

They both rose from their chairs, but Lyon had to catch him as he stumbled due to lightheadedness.

"You okay?" he asked worriedly.

" _Yeah. Just stood up too fast."_

"I think you worked too hard. We should get you inside, have you lie down—"

He was interrupted when Gray pulled away, an annoyed look on his face as he gestured, " _I'm not an invalid! If I don't stretch and cool down first, we'll both regret it later."_

"Fine. Just stretching, no more than five minutes. Then you're taking a break and eating something. It's almost time for meds, anyway."

" _Yes, sir!"_

"Gray! Lyon!" came Lucy's call from the gate.

 _"_ We're by the pond!" answered Lyon.

He wasn't surprised to see the whole team rounding the corner to the back deck. But the various looks of upset and distress made him pause. Gray was completely oblivious, taking controlled breaths while stretching his arm across his chest before switching to the other, looking towards the sounds of his friends' foot steps and tilting his head up in greeting.

Trying to sound calm, Lyon asked, "Hey, what's going on, guys?"

They all looked at each other, no one saying a word. On the long walk there, they'd each convinced themselves that this was the right thing to do, that no matter what happened, Gray would be better off for it. In their haste, no one really came up with a delicate way to broach the subject. And _no one_ remembered the lessons they'd learned months ago, when they all swore that day to just listen to him, to try to understand, to not just try to _fix_ him, to assume to know what's best for him.

Maybe some of them _had_ considered these things, and found this situation the exception to the rule.

Whatever was going through their heads, someone had to say something, because now Gray was growing aware of their odd behavior. He didn't like this weird silence between them. This hesitation never boded well. As a way to break up the tension, he thought to crack a joke in poor taste, just to get any reaction.

" _Oh no. Don't tell me I'm contagious. Did you lose your speech, too?"_

Whatever reaction he was expecting, the sounds of poorly disguised sniffles from Wendy, and the very obvious sobs from Lucy were not on his list.

_"What's wrong?"_

Lyon was really worried now, as well. Why couldn't they just say what they'd come here to say?

Erza cleared her throat, before suggesting, "Gray, maybe we should go inside fir—,"

" _Cut the crap and tell me what the hell's going on!"_

He was shocked to find himself in a firm embrace, as Natsu had rushed towards him, almost tackling him in a hug, eyes heavy with angry tears that tried to leak out.

He wasn't sure if he should hug him back because of his obvious sadness, or punch him in the face for the unexpected contact, so he instead kept his hands aloft, doing neither.

"Gray," Natsu said shakily, "We know."

He looked up in confusion, gesturing over Natsu's shoulders, " _Know what?!"_

Natsu now wished he wasn't the one doing this, that they _weren't_ doing it, that they'd _waited_ , that they didn't _need_ to do it _at all_.

"WE KNOW IT WAS YOUR MOM!" he cried.

Gray's eyes widened, and he slowly lowered his hands in shock, face white. He didn't breathe, his body tensing.

_" **I've always been nice, dear boy. The nicest thing you can do for a child is to discipline them."**_

_**The thing held its fist over Gray's eyes, bits of glowing hot ashes slipping free, causing him to flinch. He blinked rapidly, defiance alone causing his refusal to look away... before the ashes fell.**.._

"We know it was her with you in that chamber..."

_" **No more fighting me, now. I don't enjoy punishing you so harshly."**_

"We know the necromancer used her to hurt you..."

_" **We're going to remove that obstacle now. It's time you separated yourself from that awful guild."  
**_

**_It plunged its arm down, the scalpel clutched in its fingers digging deep... He hissed. In a moment, he screamed. After a while, the sounds of his screams stopped. Though he kept trying. He kept screaming. It was silent._ **

_" **Your father did nothing to protect you. He left you. Abandoned you. All alone. A broken boy in a broken village"**_

_"_ That she's the one who did all those things to you..."

_" **I'm sorry that you turned out to be such a bad son"**_

Natsu would have kept going if he wasn't violently pushed away.

He stumbled back, keeping his eyes on Gray, trying to gauge what he was feeling, hoping they were all ready for the fallout to come.

Lyon was absolutely stunned. Of all the things he'd imagined could have happened in that chamber, something this twisted and vile could never have been conceived in his mind. His heart was breaking into smaller and smaller pieces as he saw the many emotions flitting through Gray's eyes. He stepped forward, a hint of disbelief in his voice as he whispered to no one in particular, "Gray, I... this is... is this true?"

"Come on, Gray," Natsu tried, "You don't need to keep this to your self anymore. We know she—,"

" _NO!_ " He gestured furiously, 'shouting' it as well. " _That WASN'T HER, you flaming piece of SHIT! How DARE You_!"

"Gray," Lucy pleaded, "please calm down—"

" _That wasn't her! That CREATURE wasn't HER! It was just that F*CKING BASTARD, masquerading behind another CORPSE!"_

He was beyond pissed. They expected him to calm down, after ripping the scab off this putrefying wound, and pouring over it the salt of these accusations? His face was turning red now in his anger, and his hands were shaking so badly, his gestures sharp and quick, sometimes unreadable, but he coupled every gesture with his silent words, so no one could mistake what he meant. At this point, everyone was proficient enough in their respective skills that they didn't need a translator.

Natsu stayed where he was, not backing down, hands up instinctively to placate him, even as any motion he gave was wasted on Gray's eyes.

"Gray, we saw the evidence. I could tell by the scent. It was just like that time with your dad. It smelled just like you—"

He should have expected the punch to his jaw, and part of him felt like he deserved it, as he stumbled back towards the others.

" _Just SHUT UP! Stop calling that...that monster...that obscene, rotting pretender my_ mother! _YOU WEREN'T THERE! I was alone with that BITCH for days!_ **I** _saw her face._ **I** _heard her voice._ **I** _was the one whose eyes she burned with fire and ash. You think I could ever mistake which_ **monster** _did that to me?! You don't ever forget the last thing you ever **f*cking** saw!_ **I** _was the one she_ forced _awake, over and over, every time I tried to drift away... as she was carving this damned road map into my skin!... Every time... She sliced these damned things into my arm... every time she made me wake up... to keep a f*cking count!..* **gasp** *...It was _**my** _guild mark,_ **my** _flesh she tore off, and threw in the f*cking garbage!"_

His friends could only watch as he raged, some understanding his words better than others. They could almost physically feel his anguish and sorrow.

" _You weren't there. You never saw her!.. IT!... ***gasp***_... It _wasn't her! It's not HER! NOT HER! My mom would never..._

_..._

_...would have NEVER..._

_...done the... things that **bitch** did to me! _

_It...it wasn't her...she..._ **it** _was..._

_...that bastard... He...? ... he... w..._

_..._

_...wh... what...?"_

Something was wrong.

Lyon stepped forward, no longer paralyzed by indecision as he saw the shift in Gray's demeanor.

"Gray, I'm sorry. So, so sorry for what you went through. But you need to calm down. Please, let's go inside, try to figure this out."

"... _What?... I... I don't... Lyon?... My... I.._."

He stopped suddenly, fear and confusion appearing on his face.

Then pain.

"Gray?" asked Erza.

He was panting now, like he couldn't get enough air. A sense of vertigo struck him, and he stumbled back a step, just barely staying on his feet.

"Gray-san, what—"started Wendy.

He clutched at his shirt, tearing the front more open before digging his fingers over his heart, eyes glossing over before they closed tightly. He shuddered before collapsing. Wendy, perceiving what was happening, caught him before he hit the ground.

Lyon and Natsu helped lower him down, then backed away to let Wendy work. His eyes were half-lidded, and his breathing shallow. He still weakly clutched at his chest, but allowed Wendy to move his hand away. His shirt was completely soaked in sweat as she pulled the fabric aside to see what she would find. He'd pressed so hard against his chest, he'd left bruises. In her haste to help, she had to stop herself from instinctively trying to heal him with her sky maiden magic, forgetting for just that moment the futility of trying to use it on him. Checking his pulse, she found it erratic. She placed her hand over his heart. It was pounding, way too quickly and vigorously for someone who hadn't been all that active in the last few minutes.

"Lyon, when's the last time he took a beta blocker?" she asked, displaying an air of calmness she didn't feel.

"Right after breakfast, over four hours ago."

"Get me a dose now, and some water. Hurry."

As he ran to retrieve the meds, Lucy asked in a near panic, "What's happening? You asked for beta blockers. Is he having a heart attack?"

Natsu and Erza, already scared for their friend, felt the bottom drop when they heard that question. How? He was just standing there! He was getting better, stronger, healthier!

"I suspect it's something like it, but heart attacks occur when blood can't reach the heart. I think this is stress related, and it's causing his heart muscles to weaken. It can be just as dangerous. This also happened during that incident with Juvia, but it's much worse this time."

Lyon slammed his knees to the ground upon his return to Gray's side, dropping the pills into Wendy's waiting hands. She indicated for him to lift Gray up, which he did, holding him up slightly as she tried to feed him the medicine.

"Gray, I need you to swallow these. They'll help... Do you understand?"

He was listless, too weak to gesture, but his lips moved, too slowly, too shallowly for anyone to read. Wendy had been dreading something like this happening, where he'd be in trouble or in pain, and he had absolutely no way of communicating it to them.

But he was somewhat conscious, so she could work with that. She placed a pill in his mouth, followed by some water. Tilting his head back, she gently coaxed him to swallow. She did the same for the second pill, before having Lyon lower him back down.

"This will buy us some time. But we need to get him to the infirmary immediately."

With no further word needed, Natsu gathered Gray in his arms, and they all headed to the guild.

**_I've been looking forward to this arc. Unlike the last time they "tried to help" they can't just make amends and all is well again. What they did isn't something he can recover from that easily._ **

**_Next Chapter: They start to understand the ramifications of what they've done. Where do they go from there?_ **


	32. Dissonance Part 1

**_What awesome feedback I received about the previous chapter! I can't tell you how excited I was to publish that one. The whole tone of the story changes from here on out._ **

**_Bravo to primordialpaper for correctly guessing Wendy's idea._ **

* * *

Loke couldn't say he was mad. He should have known something like this would happen. His friends could be rash, impulsive, impatient, and loving to a fault. Of course they would rush in without thinking things through. They did it all the time for the ones they cared about. But it's one thing to risk your own safety when charging ahead without a plan. It's a whole other matter when the one you're trying to save is put at risk because of poor discretion. No, Loke couldn't say he was mad, but he's so disappointed.

A heart attack. They gave the man a freakin heart attack. Well, close enough to one, anyway. Enough to still threaten his life. Stress-induced Cardiomyopathy is what Porlyusica had called it. Broken Heart Syndrome. Even though he'd been taking beta blockers to control his heart rate, they weren't strong enough to withstand the shock of being confronted with his "mother's" roll in his torture and near death four months ago. In hindsight, they should have known that would have been a far worse memory to bring up than anything else he'd experienced.

It was late at night. He sat in the infirmary next to Gray's bed, the constant, slow beat of the heart monitor, and the rhythmic flow of oxygen the only sounds in the room. Lyon had finally fallen asleep on the next bed over, after spending the last day and a half in a panicked rage. If he wasn't pacing back and forth in worry, he was silently fuming in the chair at the other side of the bed, or tossing angered comments towards whomever from Team Natsu just happened to be in the room at the time.

Though the guild was closed, team Natsu was camped out in the hallway outside the door. At first they'd insisted on staying with Gray, but Porlyusica had kicked them all out when she'd noticed his vitals would decline when he'd sense their presence nearby. Even unconscious, he was wary of them, and his body reacted accordingly. The tense atmosphere between them and Lyon didn't help matters, either. Wendy was napping with Carla in a curtained off section of the room, so she could be there if needed.

Loke just sat and pondered where everything went wrong. None of them were ever qualified to handle something like this. Were they ever capable of handling _any_ of it? They all understood from the very beginning that research and scholarship within the field of psychology was rather lacking. Even Mr. Bradley only had so much knowledge. People tended to rely on magical talismans, spells, and potions to treat such ailments, so there's never been a great deal of interest in the study of such things. Why bother, when such quick fixes were available?

Such reasonings were justified when magic was an option. But in his case, they'd always been on their own. From day one there were missteps and stumbling blocks, but they all just chalked it up as "this is still too new to us," "these things are to be expected," or "triggered reactions are just unpredictable." Even though all of these were true, they didn't make this situation any easier to bear. There had always been a sense of doubt within each of their minds about whether any decision they made, any interaction, any possible situation Gray could have been put in, would cause more harm than good.

If only Lucy had called for him first. Or Gemini. They would have been able to tell her _why_ Gray wasn't able to talk about it yet, since the question of " _who did it?_ " was no longer an issue. Loke would have at least tried to talk them out if it. Make them see the benefits of waiting. Was he at fault as well? As soon as Natsu wanted to talk to Gemini all those weeks ago, he'd shot them down, telling them the twins would never tell them what had been bothering Gray that night. Was that enough for them to dismiss Gemini completely? They couldn't get their most pressing question answered, so anything else they could have learned was irrelevant?

When he appeared before Lucy upon sensing her growing anguish, they had just been shooed out of the infirmary by Mira, who would help Wendy until Porlyusica arrived. He didn't need to ask what happened, because Lyon immediately started laying in to them...

ooooo

" _Why can't one of us stay?! There's plenty of room in there. We can stay out of the way!"_

_"Natsu, calm down," cried Lucy, who had her own troubles controlling her hysteria, voice quivering in barely repressed fear._

_Mirajane was firm as she pushed the rest of the team out the door. Over her shoulders, they could only watch in distress as Wendy hurriedly cut away the rest of Gray's shirt, along with his dressings, before attaching the sensors from the heart monitor to his chest. The too-fast beeping sound that followed was disheartening._

_"Mira!—"_

_"Natsu! Shut up and let them work!" Lyon said, voice quiet and simmering._

_Holding his tongue, he backed away, allowing Mirajane to shut the door, leaving them to wonder what could be happening behind it now._

_A flash of light heralded Leo's arrival. Before he could get a word out, Natsu turned towards Lyon, ready to express his anger at having been shut down like that, when Lyon beat him to it._

**_"You fools! What the Hell were you all thinking?! How could you possibly think this could have ended in_ any _way other than_ disaster _?!"_**

_"I'm sorry," lamented Lucy, "We didn't think this would happen."_

_" **F*CK NO, YOU DIDN'T THINK!** You _ **never** _do! As soon as you learn something that distresses you, you barge in making stupid judgments without consideration of actual_ **facts** _! You've accused him of lying about his pain, of being a danger to others, of purposely endangering himself! I leave him in your care, and I come back to find him either recovering from one injury or another, or deeply entrenched in a bout of depression and anxiety. This time, you just showed up, and without warning, started spouting off all this **crap** about his mother. Not one of you ever stopped to consider what bringing that up would have done to him!"_

_"Oh my God," cried Leo, "That's what this is about? Tell me you didn't just go out and confront him with this."_

_" **They f*cking ambushed him with it!** They didn't even give him a chance to prepare himself. Just opened the damned floodgates, **zero f*cks** to give about the consequences! This was beyond senseless! It was cruel, and dangerous, and completely irresponsible!"_

_"We weren't trying to hurt him—" Erza started._

_"NO! You almost **KILLED** him! Don't you understand that?! How could you not know what would have happened? You've witnessed his reactions to fears often enough! Even minor things set him off. For crying out loud, Wakaba had to quit smoking in the guildhall because of his panic attacks! Yet you all thought he'd be able to handle you forcing that memory upon him; of his father's enemy reanimating the corpse of his own **mother** , for the sole purpose of **torturing** him to death! Are you serious?! You call yourselves his friends?! I can't believe how many times he's risked his life, all for the sake of protecting friends like you. You don't deserve him! None of us do!"_

_He was stopped abruptly by Natsu wrapping both of his fists in his collar, bringing him almost nose to nose with the pissed off dragon slayer. But instead of receiving any arguments or excuses, or even some kind of violent response, Natsu just seethed in his anger and despair, breathing harshly and trembling. He closed his eyes tightly, tears squeezing out, and roughly let go, backing away, hands reaching up to pull at his hair as he fought back the urge to scream in anguish._

_Because every single word Lyon had just said was entirely justified._

_"If you're both done pissing on each other, you can stand aside now, and let me through. I don't have time for this foolishness."_

_Everyone gave a collective sigh of relief at Porlyusica's arrival, who was followed by a grim-faced Makarov. All were silent as they moved out of the way, allowing her through the door into the infirmary. Makarov would remain out there with them, where he was most needed. They'd just barely caught a glimpse of Mirajane frantically massaging the skin over Gray's heart while Wendy was squeezing the manual resuscitator bag, forcing air through the face mask she held firmly over his nose and mouth. No one missed the tear-filled relief in both of their eyes upon the old healer's entrance, but they saw no more after she'd slammed the door behind her._

ooooo

He was brought out if his thoughts when he noticed Gray's distress. Another nightmare. These have been coming far too frequently, and there was little they could do but to let him ride them out. The heavy sedation they kept him under prevented him from waking up, keeping him locked in there with his demons. It would be over in minutes, but still, Loke couldn't imagine his sleep was all that restful tonight.

Judging from what he could read through the fog in the oxygen mask, he had a good idea of whom, or what, he was dreaming of.

"I knew something was wrong before this happened," came a whispered comment.

Loke looked pass Gray to see Lyon, rising to a seated position on his bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes before he turned his focus to their sleeping friend.

"I let him force himself too hard during his workout, and he almost passed out when he stood up afterwards. His heart was already overworked. If I'd known they were going to spring that memory on him..." he lamented.

"...You shouldn't dwell on 'what if's'," Loke advised.

"Hmph. That's all we ever seem to have these days. What if I'd ended the workout earlier? What if we'd learned about his mother sooner? What if we could have rescued him earlier? What if he'd gone to dinner with his friends, or just hadn't gone home alone that night?... Every time he has a setback, I can't help but to imagine scenarios such as these, of how different all our lives would be if just one event could be changed... He still blames himself for being captured."

Loke's face fell at that. He wasn't all that surprised by that news, but he had hoped by now their encouragements over all this time would have convinced him otherwise. Lyon didn't give him much time to dwell on that.

"Looks like his nightmare's over."

Loke reverted his gaze back to Gray, finding him sleeping peacefully now.

"He was dreaming about his mom again," Loke revealed.

"... So now that we know, what do we do about it? He won't want to bring it up again," said Lyon.

"I doubt he'll have anything else on his mind, though. I don't know where to go from here. But now that we're aware of what's been bothering him, we can at least figure out new ways to help."

"Or leave it be, and wait for him to come around. Let him make the first move."

"You really think that's a good idea? It's been months, and he's never made a move towards dealing with this... or maybe he has, and we just couldn't tell. I don't know. But he may decide to keep ignoring this problem, and try to bury it again. Can you imagine what could happen if we let him do that?"

"But if we push him, he might go over the edge!"

"Or he might push back! You're angry at what happened, and it's made you scared as well. You have every right to be. But he was surprised last time. The next time his mom is brought up, and there needs to be a next time, he'll be more prepared. For as long as I've known him, he's never lost to the same opponent twice. Do you really think he'd let this beat him again?" Loke asked.

...

...

"No. But it'll be a hard fought victory. And he may end up more scarred because of it."

"Scars may never completely heal, but they do fade away after time. And what remains is stronger than before."

"... Okay. You're right. He needs to face this... But we may have jeopardized his trust in us again. This time irreparably. Regardless, we can't let him try to shut us out. You weren't there to see, but during his... attack... what really got to me were his feelings of isolation. He kept stressing how he was alone with that creature. We know he's afraid to be alone at the house. Now we understand why."

"Well, we've got 'who', 'what', and 'why' down. We need to figure out the 'how'. We need to get everyone together to figure this out."

"They've done enough already."

"They made a mistake. They know better now. Besides, I can't stay here indefinitely, and you can't do this alone. Even if he's leery around them now, they need to be near so they can regain his trust. He needs all his friends, Lyon. We can't let this become a rift between him and them. It'll go a long way for him if you'd forgive them first."

"*Sigh* I know. I wasn't planning on holding onto my anger for long. I understand their impatience, and their desire to see him get better as fast as possible. Still, I wish they'd warned me first."

"Believe me. I know the feeling," Loke smirked with just a little melancholy, "Humans are irrational creatures. Speaking of which, why are you still awake? Go back to sleep. He's not going anywhere."

Another sigh, then a nod. Lyon laid back down, pulling his overcoat over his head, giving a quiet "good night" before going back to sleep.

Loke settled back in his chair, getting comfortable for the remainder of his vigil. Gray hadn't stirred at all during their whispered conversation. Loke wondered if he could hear them, and if so, would his dreams reflect what he heard? If anything, waxing nostalgia had kept him occupied while he was sitting with him in the chamber. Who knows? Maybe he could help him keep the nightmares at bay.

He leaned forward again, clearing his throat, and, smiling, started to speak in a low, peaceful voice.

"Gray, remember that time, when we took that quest to capture a young wyvern alive, and you suggested getting it drunk on fermented berries? You were only joking, but Cana took to the idea with so much enthusiasm ..."

Behind the curtain, Wendy allowed herself to draw away from the quiet monologue. That sounded like a story between old war buddies, and she didn't want to intrude. But she contemplated everything else she'd heard, and an idea from earlier once again came to mind. It firmly took hold, and she couldn't help but to let it grow. Was it possible? Did she have what she needed to make it happen? And most importantly, would Gray be willing to do it?

* * *

Makarov had them all in his office the next morning, while Porlyusica stayed with Gray. Cana insisted on being part of this meeting. Lyon had settled down in his anger, and was more amicable than the last couple of days. Natsu was still kicking himself for forcing Gray's memories to the surface like he did. He knew he was impulsive and not the best at judging the situation, but he should have paused and considered what he was doing before plunging into it like that.

"Before we begin," said Makarov, "Porlyusica has informed me that she'll be taking Gray off sedation today. He should wake up later this afternoon."

"Thank God. But what about his heart? Will he be alright?" asked Lucy.

Wendy answered, "Fortunately, since this wasn't an actual heart attack, his heart muscles should heal themselves very quickly. We're giving him some medicine to keep his blood pressure low for a few days, so his heart won't work so hard. He'll be pretty weak in the meantime, but he'll recover from this."

"That's good news," said Makarov, "Now, we need to discuss our next move. I'm sorry for how things turned out, but hopefully, this opens up some opportunities that were not available to us before. We just have to tread carefully, and figure out how to balance reasonable restraint with necessary action. Have any of you thought of a way to proceed from here?"

"You need to talk to Gemini," was Loke's quick response.

"I thought they wouldn't talk," said Natsu.

"They wouldn't tell you _what_ was bothering him. Now that you know, they'd be willing to tell you _why_ this had been so hard for him. I think if you could understand his fears more, you'd have a better idea of how to move forward," Loke explained.

"... But if they take Gray's form from back then... I don't want to have to put them through that again," said Lucy, regretfully.

"They'll understand, and will want to help you. They won't want their master to be sad," reassured Loke.

No one wanted to rush her, or try to influence her.

"Lucy, it's your call," said Erza.

"I'll let them decide," she said, pulling out her keys, **_"Open, Gate of the Twins: Gemini!"_**

A bright light, then

 _"_ Piri _,_ piri!" they cried excitedly.

"Gemini, I hate to ask this of you, and I want you to know that you have the choice to refuse. Would you be willing to turn into Gray again? As he was from that time?"

"Of course! If it helps your friend, we'll do anything for you. Because you love your friends so much!" Without delay, a light appeared where they were floating, and they were replaced by the Gray from a few months before.

They gasped and fell forward, saved from the floor by a quick Loke, who had anticipated such a reaction. Wendy brought a chair over and sat them down. While they reacquainted themselves with this body, everyone else had their own flashes of memories from that time.

Only Leo and Gemini had seen him that night, so the rest were shocked at what they saw. They'd gotten used to the present Gray, and hadn't realized how much muscle he'd managed to put on since then. Or how less pronounced his scars were now. The Gray before them was pale, sweat soaked, and trembling. They hadn't known how much physical pain he was in that night. Lucy almost force-closed their gate, but Loke held her back, reminding her of Gemini's commitment, and how it would show a lack of faith in them if she just assumed they couldn't handle it. They could judge for themselves how far they could take this.

After a few moments, Gemini-Gray straightened in his chair and waited for further orders.

"Gemini, how do you feel?" asked Lucy, voice trembling.

" _It's okay_ —," they paused, confused for a second, having forgotten about the lack of voice, before continuing, " _—Lucy. We'll be fine. How can we help you?"_

Loke, who translated, asked for her. "Gemini. We all know about Gray's mother now. I understand there's a lot you won't say, but we need to know _why_ Gray couldn't tell us about her then. He still won't talk about her. We need to know what Gray's afraid of."

They sat there quietly, their brow knitted as they tried to put Gray's thoughts into words.

No one so much as tapped a finger, not wanting to break their concentration. For the next minute or so, the wait seemed endless. Finally,

" _... I don't understand,"_ they started.

"What's not to understand? It's a simple question!" interrupted Natsu.

"Shhh!" glared Erza

" _I don't... understand... why she would do that... to someone she loved..._

_"But she didn't. It wasn't her..._

_"Not her! It wasn't her..._

Cana crossed her arms in discomfort, gripping her sleeves in tight fists.

_"...But it was!..._

_"No! Not Her!..._

_..._

_..._

_"Why?!_

_"Why did she hurt me?! A mother... protects her child! Why did she... !"_

They were crying as they spoke, leaning forward and holding themselves tightly, as if trying to keep themselves from falling apart, unable to control the emotions that Gray had felt that day. Wendy couldn't help the tears in her own eyes. This was so difficult to watch. No one could say they weren't unsettled by what they were witnessing.

" _Bisca! She loves her child! She'd never hurt her. She says nice things, and Asuka believes her. She touches her baby girl... and she's not... she's not afraid... she has no reason to be afraid...!"_

Erza and Lucy exchanged looks, remembering all that had happened that morning, which for some reason had led to them calling upon Gemini that terrible night. The team finally understood what must have made him so upset that day.

_"She's a good mom..._

_..._

_"Why couldn't my mom..._

_..._

_"Why wasn't... she like her..._

They were getting frantic, breathing hard, hands trembling as they started reaching for the bleeding tally marks. How had everyone missed those?! Once more, Leo stopped everyone from interfering, still staring resolutely at every shape and motion their mouth made.

Suddenly, they rose from their chair, knocking it down, angry and desperate. They started gesturing, as Gray always does when he gets really upset, and Lucy gasped at the blood in their hand.

" _It wasn't Her! She wouldn't have done that! Not Her! Never HER_...

...

" _THEN WHY! WHY DID SHE HURT ME! WHY DID SHE DO THOSE THINGS TO ME?! WHAT DID I DO TO HER?! NO! IT WASN'T HER! IT'S NOT HER! NOT HER! SHE WOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT! BUT SHE DID! WHY?! WHY DOES SHE HATE ME?! WHY HER—NOT HER! NOT HER, NOT HER!_ " they stopped Gesturing, grabbing their head in pain or panicked hysteria, maybe both, " _NOT HER, NOT HER, NOT HER NOT HERNOTHERNOTHETNOTHERNOT_ —"

They came back to themselves when Lucy grabbed their face in her hands, tears running down her cheeks as she brought their face down to touch hers, just as the real Gray had done for her, saying over and over that it was okay to stop, that she understood now, that they could let go. She gently wiped the blood, which they'd gotten on their face at certain times when they'd touched it with their bloody fingers while Gesturing, away. She didn't let go when Gemini, also affected by Gray's phobia against a woman's touch, tried to push her away, before they remembered who they were, and relented to the embrace. They continued to hold his form, feeling that their master needed this as well.

"...Gemini...it's okay. You did so much for us already. Thank you," she finally let go, stepping back from her celestial spirit, reciting with a slight quiver in her voice," ** _Close, Gate of the Twins."_**

Gemini-Gray gave a small, sad smile, before disappearing.

No one could speak or move. That whole display had been completely, eerily silent, but for the occasional tapping sounds whenever Gemini-Gray's hands came together for certain words. Their performance was so emotional, so raw, almost violent in its intensity in the end. It seemed almost wrong to break up the silence.

But now they knew. They understood why his mind was so conflicted, and what it was he feared so greatly. They still couldn't fathom why exactly he couldn't just tell them about it, but knowing his pain and experiencing it first hand were different things. They may have witnessed a small part of his mental turmoil, but only Gemini could say they felt exactly what Gray felt, and even _they_ couldn't fully understand his reluctance. Maybe Gray couldn't either.

For the rest of the morning, they continued their war council. Lyon suggested reaching out to Loren. He chose to be generous and _not_ point out how they all should have consulted the therapist before rushing in like they had. He was done feeling grievance over this, and saw their resolve to do better as apology enough.

Through all the talk, Wendy was silent when not directly spoken to. She'd been wrestling with an idea since last night, and debating with herself whether or not to even bring it up. It was a long shot that it would work, and Gray might reject doing it as soon as the idea left her mouth. And even if he _did_ agree, and they pulled it off, would he be able to handle it? Or would the experience finally ruin him?

Cana noticed her waning attention span, and nudged her shoulder with hers, asking quietly what was bothering her.

"I'm sorry. It's nothing, really. Just something that's been on my mind today."

"Do you have an idea to help Gray? Go ahead and share. Big or small, we could use more options," Cana encouraged.

Natsu heard their conversation and turned his head towards them, drawing one by one the others' attention to them as well. Wendy's face turned red at the sudden spotlight, but she took a deep breath and let it out, taking on a more confident look as she just threw her idea out there.

"... What if I could use Milky Way... to allow Gray to talk to his mom?"

Stunned silence.

"That can't work, can it? That only works on dragons!" said Natsu.

"I know. That's one of the things that kept me from speaking up. But what if we could find a way to augment the spell, to allow it to work on a human's soul. We have some of his mom's remains. If I can find a way to make the spell work, I could use those remains as a catalyst to call her soul to the living realm... I just thought that... maybe Gray could find some peace if he could talk to his real mom."

"That's a bold idea, indeed," said Makarov, "And I can see how it would benefit him greatly, but you're right to take caution. There's no telling how he'd react to the very idea of meeting his mother again, real or not. Pull whatever resources you need for this. This isn't an option until we can find a way to make it work on humans, but if we _can_ make it work, then I want to be able to have that card in hand if the opportunity to play it arrives. Of course, it all depends on whether Gray would agree to it or not. Is there anything else?"

When no one spoke up, he brought the meeting to an end.

All they could do now was wait.

* * *

- _a village in the north-_

Gajeel scowled as he shook Nate DeWalt's hand. Though they got along well enough, the reason for their meeting left a sour taste in his mouth.

"I know we're your favorite go-to freelance consultants right now, but we're still working that serial killer case."

"A case which has gone cold since the last death in October. Besides, I think you might find something of interest here," DeWalt replied.

He led Gajeel, Panther Lily, and Juvia through the empty streets, towards the village's single Home Guard station, a simple, one-room building with one side enclosed in iron bars, that's never held anyone more dangerous than a petty thief or a drunk. Rune Knights were going in and out of that building, as well as every other building along the street. They'd already cleared every private home in the village.

It was completely abandoned.

"I want you to talk to a witness. He's an itinerant pharmacist. He travels a circuit through all the villages in the province, so is here off and on throughout the year. He was last here several weeks ago, before the holidays. He says everything was normal, no sign of strife or economic hardship. When he came back two days ago, this is what he came back to," DeWalt said as he gestured around the ghost town.

"There are no signs of an attack?" asked Juvia.

"Nothing too concrete. We do know that whatever happened here happened no more than five or six hours prior to our witness' discovery, which puts the time of the mass disappearance at around nine o'clock two mornings ago."

"How do you know that?" asked Lily.

"One of the Knights thought they'd found someone still in their home when they smelled freshly cooked food from the doorway, as opposed to the usual burnt offerings they found on still-lit stoves. It turned out to be a roast inside a slow cooker, set to turn off after eight hours had past. It still had a little time left when it was found."

"This is exactly like those other recent disappearances we've heard about. Whole villages deserted, but nothing misplaced. No bags packed, not shelves emptied of traveling needs, food left out on tables or still cooking on the stoves. I thought they were just rumors," said Juvia.

"We've tried to keep those incidents secret from the public, to avoid needless panic. Not everything can be kept quiet, though. This is the fourth one reported within the last two months. The only thing we've been able to determine is that there's just no discernible cause behind these whole populations vanishing like this, and that so far, the phenomenon is moving south. Each subsequent incident takes place more or less south of the previous one."

"Why is it every mystery we investigate seems to literally be going in one direction?" grumbled Gajeel.

Upon entering the Home Guard station, the team was introduced to the witness, Dr. Liam Nestle, a maker and peddler of herbal remedies. He was currently sitting at a table, ingredients and tools laid before him as he mixed one of his medicines. When he saw several shadows appear on his table, he lowered his reading glasses down his nose and smiled a charming peddler's grin. He must be quite good at making a sale.

"You must be the visiting investigators. My pleasure, gentlemen, madam. Mr. DeWalt told me you'd be interested in a specific part of my testimony."

"We'll let you know as soon as we hear it. What's so interesting about this case?" asked Gajeel.

"It's mostly rumors I'd heard, rely. About a month ago, I was packing up to leave Cedar Grove, a village just north of us. As I was leaving, I overheard some of the locals gossiping about mysterious sightings of people who shouldn't be there."

"What, like outsiders? Strangers? You think there's a dark guild lurking about, and some people saw them?" asked Panther Lily.

"I don't think you'd be nearly as interested if that were the case. No, my most interesting feline friend. The people who were witnessed lurking about should not have been there... because they were dead."

That raised a few eyebrows.

"Fascinating, yes? It wasn't just a few. Several people reported seeing dead loved ones walking about the village. I couldn't stay, unfortunately, not if I wanted to get to my next stop before sundown. But it was such an intriguing thing to hear, yes?"

"That _is_ weird. But what does that have to do with this case?" asked Lily.

"Just that Cedar Grove was the _third_ village from which all its residents disappeared," answered DeWalt.

Now he had their full attention.

"Were there reports of walking dead people around here?" asked Gajeel.

"None. But that's not surprising. This village is small and somewhat isolated. Not many people come and go from here. If there were reports such as those, they stayed within the community. The Rune Knights are going over recent written statements now. There aren't many, so it shouldn't take long."

Turning toward the witness, he stated, "Dr. Nestle, thank you for your time. You're free to go, but we'll be in touch if we need anything more."

He just waved them off and readjusted his glasses, going back to his medicine production.

"A moment please, everyone?" DeWalt entreated, heading outside, into an alley beside the station, away from prying eyes. Making sure the close was clear, he started, "Can I assume you've already drawn the same conclusions as I have?"

"You think there's another necromancer skulking about?" answered Gajeel.

"There is that hypothesis, and it's probably correct, but I was referring to something a little more specific. Something a little... _closer to home_."

The wizards looked at each other as if they were caught in some great conspiracy, before Gajeel narrowed his eyes, asking, "Before we admit to anything, why don't _you_ tell us what you think."

With a patronizing grin, DeWalt answered, "I can read a map quite well, thank you. You see, I noticed the abrupt course change in the killer's pattern as well. They were headed for Iris, where your friend was hospitalized. As soon as he was discharged, the killer's path changed, moving a few degrees more north, towards Black Vox. A few deaths here and there on the way, and then, all deaths suddenly stopped. I'd already concluded months ago that the serial killer we've been chasing had something to do with your friend, though I couldn't even fathom what that could be.

"But now we have these strange disappearances, the first one taking place in a village relatively close to Black Vox. Except now the course runs towards the south. If I were to show you a map with these four villages marked off, what do you think you'd find?"

Since this was the first time they'd heard proof that the rumors of the missing villagers weren't just rumors, they had no idea what such a map would look like. But they did know what did lay south of here.

Magnolia.

Fairy Tail.

Gray.

"I don't care that you didn't want to share this with me. I want you to know that I'm on your side. I'm not trying to accuse him of anything. For me, no one could have a more solid alibi. But you're right to be wary. There are those among my colleagues who would jump to unfortunate conclusions, and allow their prejudices to impact their decisions. But this, whatever this _is,_ is _bigger_ than a mere serial killer case. This is why I wanted you on board."

"We must warn Master right away. We have to protect Gray-sama!" cried Juvia.

"He already knows there's something going on. I'll give him an update later tonight. So, DeWalt, where do we go from here?"

* * *

It was just the boys in the infirmary that afternoon, along with Wendy, Porlyusica, and Master Makarov. Lucy and Erza, though very reluctant, understood that Gray may be even more sensitive to his various triggers, and chose to wait outside until they received permission to enter. Natsu and Loke sat on one side, Lyon on the other. Gray was taken off the sedatives hours ago, and should be waking up any moment.

ooooo

It was too warm.

_'It's so dark out.'_

Even in the summer, it was usually cooler than this at night.

_'What the heck is on my face?'_

He went to reach for the breathing mask still strapped to his face, but cringed at the sudden ache all over.

' _The hell?! What happened to me? Were we attacked? Is everyone okay? What about the guild?!'_

His thoughts were interrupted when his hand landed near his guild mark. He found it covered in gauze. The skin underneath felt off. Numb and... he really couldn't describe it. Hollow?

"...e's awake."

"Gray, can y ... me?"

"Don't overw...him. He mi ... emories."

"-san ... ember what happened?"

Too many voices, disjointed, confusing, all at once. Was he in the infirmary? Why was it so dark? And why wouldn't those voices go away?

_"Shut the h—"_

_?!_

_'Why can't I talk?!'_

He started panicking. This was all wrong! He struggled to rise, but was too weak to move. It was then he noticed the strange sensation of thick, dry scabs on his hands. No... scar tissue. All over his freakin hands! What the Hell was going on?! He couldn't see, couldn't speak, could barely move. He ached all over. And his hands! What the Hell?!

ooooo

"Dammit! He must have forgotten again. Gray! Listen, you're safe here! We rescued you, remember? It's okay!" said Natsu.

"Can he hear us?" asked Loke.

"Some of the affects of the sedatives are still lingering. Wendy, remove the mask. See if he's trying it say anything," said Porlyusica.

When she removed the mask, Gray became more alert to the fact that he wasn't alone. He looked around wildly, fists clenched and teeth gritted, trying not to show how intimidated he felt. That was wrong too. He should be more pissed off than scared right now.

' _Why am I like this? Was I captured? What did they do to me?'_

"He looks terrified. Gray-san, can you hear me?"

He thought he heard... Wendy? He zeroed in on her voice. She was so close. Should he feel pathetic right now, that he was relying on a young girl, barely a teenager, to make him feel safe? Strength was returning gradually, and he recognized the subtle hints of a fog lifting from his mind. He'd been under sedation? No wonder he was so weak before. He tried lifting his hand, a slight twinge in his shoulder making him almost drop it, but he felt Wendy grasp it in a reassuring grip. But it felt so wrong through all those scars. He could hardly feel anything at all.

She was rubbing small circles around his palms and knuckles. For some reason he found that soothing and relaxed a bit, closing his eyes, (so they _were_ open) and breathing deeply, trying to calm down. His other hand kept a vise-like grip on the sheets at his abdomen, and he tried to focus on what Wendy was saying.

' _What_ do _I remember?'_

"Gray-san?" she asked, letting go of his hand so he'd be free to use it, "Can you please tell me what you last remember?"

There was a certain maturity and confidence in her voice that he wasn't familiar with. Could he be sure she was really her? He opened his eyes again, squinting as if that would make his vision better, before giving up, trying to talk again, but growing frustrated at the lack of sound coming out. He shook his head in dismay, simply looking towards "Wendy's" location.

"Why aren't you Gesturing?"

_'Natsu? How the hell does he know I can—'_

"Gray, I know you're confused, but we need you to tell us what you can remember. Do you understand?"

' _Lyon?'_

"It's okay. If you're too tired to Gesture, Loke is here. And the others. Tell us what you remember."

Because, Lyon reasoned, maybe the confusion was causing him to forget who could understand what?

Knitting his brow, he was about to take advantage of Loke's lip-reading skills, when he paused. Not understanding why it seemed he had a preference towards Gesturing, other than an instinctual need to get his hands to move, he brought them up, and with great effort, started using a skill he hadn't thought he'd ever really need.

" _Lyon, why are you here? I thought you were with Juvia. What happened to me? I can't see. Were we attacked?"_

"Juvia? No, she went with Gajeel, remember? She's been gone for—"

He was interrupted when Porlyusica quickly stepped in front of him, holding her hand up to silence him.

"Gray, do you know where you are?"

" _Baa-san?... I think we're in the guild infirmary."_

"That's correct. What day do you think it is?"

"... _I don't... maybe Tuesday? What time is it?_ "

Frowning, she ignored his question and continued, "What's the very last thing you remember?"

Forget his fears. These _questions_ were now pissing him off. Shouldn't they be more concerned with his sudden blindness? Or the fact that he couldn't speak? But he calmed down enough to answer yet another inane question.

_"I just left the hardware store. I wanted to fix my window before we left for our mission the next day... Oh, don't tell me I got taken out by a bunch of freakin bandits! Did I at least give as good as I got?"_

This was new. Usually, he woke up thinking he was still in the chamber. He'd never regressed to a time _before_ then. How long would this episode last?

"Are you kidding me? That was hnnmf—" Natsu was stopped by Loke's hand over his mouth.

Their silence wasn't reassuring at all. Why were they so still? So quiet? It was more than a little unnerving, having an unknown number of people he couldn't see staring at him, like he was a specimen. Would someone just say something?! Had he been unconscious for a long time? Was that it? Maybe he couldn't talk because it's been so long. But what about his sight? Why couldn't they just tell him what the hell was going on?!

"... _How long?"_

"Gray," said Lyon, " maybe you should—"

" _How long was I asleep?!"_

"... A little over two days."

" _ **Bullshit**! These burns on my hands, they've had time to heal. A long time. Wendy had nothing to do with these. If she had, they **sure as hell** wouldn't be like this! These burns are a hell of a lot older than two freakin days! How. Long?"_

Lyon deferred to Porlyusica. He wasn't sure how much he should reveal. Usually, Gray would have snapped out of this by now.

Porlyusica decided he needed to know.

"The evening before your mission was almost five months ago. You never went on it. No, you haven't been asleep for all that time. You've been slowly recovering, day by day, ever since you woke up from the incident that _caused_ your injuries in the first place. Does any of this sound familiar?"

It was almost like he was shrinking before them as the weight of what he'd been told sank in.

...

"... _No... no, I don't... I can't ... remember anything from that time. What happened to me?... How did I get so injured? What happened to my guild mark? Why can't I see? Or speak?... Why... why is my magic so weak... If it's been two days, my origins should be full by now..."_

No one knew how to answer.

"... _Please... Why won't you tell me?"_

They were as confused as he was.

_"... Please, someone... say something ..."_

Because he should have remembered by now.

* * *

**_An amnesia arc! I love foreshadow. Don't you? You must have expected this was coming. I've been hinting at something like this happening since way back in chapter five!_ **

**_Next chapter: Why can't he remember? Is he better off this way? Some adjustment is required._ **


	33. Dissonance Part 2

**_So you know how I write flashbacks in italics, but Gray's dialogue is also usually in Italics? Try not to get lost. For the flashback scene coming up, his words are in regular script. Sorry for any confusion._ **

* * *

"I can only surmise that the shock of bringing those memories to the forefront, along with his distress and life-threatening episode, caused his mind to put up barriers from further assault. He's repressed everything that's happened since before he was kidnapped. I'm sure it's only temporary. After he calmed down, I explained that it'd be better to ease into his memories, to let them come as they will. But the brat managed to surprise me when he suddenly decided he was no longer in a hurry to learn what happened."

Porlyusica and Makarov stood in the hall, away from the chatter coming from inside the infirmary. Erza and Lucy were dismayed at this new development, but were both confident in its eventual resolution as they were allowed inside with the others. Gray had been wondering where his other team members were.

Makarov was troubled by this. He'd stood silently before, simply observing what had happened an hour ago, not wanting to miss any that was said or done. Now he had even more to be concerned about. Before, Gray was a mess, but at least he was fully aware of what he was afraid of. But now, what would happen if he were to suddenly learn about his mother? Or of the nature on his injuries? What about...

"He told us he was still in pain, and he still can't speak. If he can't remember what happened, I would have thought these psychosomatic afflictions would not be an issue right now."

Shaking her head, she replied, " _He_ may be unaware, but his mind still retains the memories. He just doesn't have access to them. This is also concerning, because if he's still feeling the affects of those phantom pains, he'll likely still react negatively to his usual triggers as well. But now, he won't even understand _why_ something as ordinary as salt can cause him to panic. However, a strong enough reaction might jump start his memory, but his return to normalcy will be an ugly affair. If that happens, it will hopefully be _after_ his heart strengthens again, which could take days, or a couple of weeks _._ It's probably good that he's reluctant right now to learn what happened to him, as he might not survive another cardiac incident so soon."

"He also seemed strangely calm for someone who had just woken up to a life with no sight or voice. He barely reacted when he learned about the seals, and of his lack of powers as well."

"I couldn't tell you what that means, other than that his mind is probably protecting him somehow. Maybe by not allowing him to fully grasp the situation. You may find him rather receptive about some things, but still have difficulty dealing with others. There's no telling what to expect between the two."

"Should we be worried that he's so reluctant to learn the truth?"

"No. With amnesia caused by physical trauma, such as a head injury, most would be upset with the memory loss. But it's not unheard of for someone suffering due to extreme _emotional_ trauma to want to avoid revisiting the events that caused it. In fact, they can be quite content in their ignorance. If he's unwilling to talk about it, forcing the issue will make him pull away. Self isolation is the last thing he needs right now. Be patient. The memories will come back eventually. Just make sure someone's around when they do."

"We'll just have to wait and see, then. Thank you, Porlyusica."

"Hmph."

As she left, Makarov peaked into the room. His brats were trying their best to fill Gray in on the latest happenings, without alluding to anything having to do with his own recent past. That was proving difficult, with many periods of awkward silence throughout.

Gray finally got fed up.

" _Quit walking on eggshells. I get it. Shit happened, and it's all you can think about. Do you need me to pick a topic?... When can I get out of here?"_

"How do you feel? Do you think you're strong enough to walk yet?" asked Wendy.

" _You gonna let me? Don't I have to wave a white cane around or something_?" he asked sarcastically.

"Crap! We left it at your house!" exclaimed Natsu.

"... _You're kidding... I actually use one? I really_ have _been blind for a while... Crap... I've got another problem, guys._ "

"What's wrong? Are you dizzy? Tired? Ah! I bet you're hungry. Natsu, get him some food!" ordered Erza.

" _No. It's not that... I don't know if I was any good at 'being blind' or whatever before, but I don't think I can even fine my way out of this room right now."_

Oh crap.

* * *

This was nostalgic, and not so much in a pleasant way. As Gray slowly shuffled around behind Lyon, holding onto his arm as they went, Lucy couldn't help but flashback to Gray's earlier days at the hospital. She'd forgotten how difficult a time Gray'd had in the beginning, after he'd received his first grafts.

ooooo

_"You're going to hurt yourself," came Loke's quiet warning._

"Everything already hurts. What's a little bit more?"

_Gray just had to move. He knew his body enough to know that lying still for too long would only make the pain worse. Movement would relieve the stiffness, and hopefully help him release some pent up tension. He was slowly pacing around his hospital room, stopping every so often to get his bearings, and being ever careful not to turn too quickly or suddenly. He knew if he were to trip on his still wobbly legs, he'd end up pulling out a stitch, or tearing one of his very recently transplanted skin grafts._

_None of which anyone could see, since he'd taken to wearing a long, black, silk yukata Natsu had bought for him. Not long after he'd been given more freedom to move around, Natsu, with surprising forethought, had shown up with the get well gift. Whether for Gray's self-conscious need to hide his scars, or for his own comfort was anyone's guess. But those who'd witnessed his reactions at seeing Gray's burns wouldn't blame him for the ulterior motive._

_"Will you at least let one of us help you? Or use a crutch or a cane. You've only been on your feet for a couple of days. There's no need to rush."_

_It took a minute for him to respond._

"... I can't support that kind of weight on my hands."

_"Damn it. Sorry. I can't believe I… Well, at least lean on the wall or … Right. Your arms…"_

"Shut up, kitty. I'm trying to concentrate."

_"Loke's right," Lucy piped in, " You're just walking around in circles anyway. I don't see why you'd want to tire yourself out like this when you're not even going anywhere. You're scheduled for PT later in the afternoon. Why don't you rest until then?"_

"F*ck!"

_Loke didn't bother translating that. Lucy had no trouble knowing what he'd said, judging by her wide-eyed concern._

_"What's wrong? Did something happen? Did you pull something? What hurts?" she asked._

"Will you please just **shut the hell up**!"

...

...

_Lucy and Loke were both too stunned to react. Yes, they were told to expect sudden fits of anger, and acts of lashing out. But they had hoped they'd be able to anticipate what would cause these reactions, and be able to avoid them. As it was, they had no idea what could have set him off._

"... * _Sigh*..._ I'm sorry. Just... I can't find the bathroom."

_"Here, let me lead you—" Loke tried to offer._

'—I don't **need** it! I just want to **find** it!… I'm trying to figure out where the hell everything is, but I can't concentrate. I got distracted… I knew this was gonna be hard, just... You said I had PT in the afternoon. I don't even know if it's still morning or not. I haven't seen light since… F*ck. They even stuck me in a room with no window. Because why the hell would the blind guy need a freaking view… Everything in here is so sterile and fake. The stupid machines never shut up. I haven't heard birds sing, or felt a breeze,... or sunlight… Hmph, bet my skin's as pale as the bed sheets now… what's left of it," _he finished morosely._

_"Maybe we can—"_

"HOLY F*CKING SH—!"

_"Gray!"_

_"Oh my God, I'm so sorry—"_

_"What happened? Loke, catch him! He's gonna fall—!"_

"DON'T YOU F*CKING TOUCH ME!"

_Everyone froze at his outburst, seeing he had managed to steady himself enough to Gesture as well as scream out his refusal for help. He was breathing hard, and had broken out in a panicked cold sweat at the sudden intrusion. The shock had caused him to jump in fright and spin around, wanting to keep the unexpected voice to his front, not that it did any good, but instinct won out. He was grimacing, hissing through his clenched jaw. They were sure he'd misstepped and twisted in a way that was painful and disorienting. They could now see him trying not to tremble as he regained his composure._

_"Please, Gray, I'm sorry—," Erza tried to say._

"MAKE A F*CKING NOISE WHEN YOU COME IN!! IS THAT SO F*CKING HARD?! KNOCK ON THE DOOR. SHUFFLE YOUR FEET. CLEAR YOUR THROAT. **SOMETHING**! DON'T JUST START **TALKING** OUT OF **NOWHERE**! NOT WHEN I DON'T KNOW YOU'RE HERE!"

_Everyone was unsettled by that reaction. Fearful, even. No one had ever berated Erza quite like that. None of them had ever seen Gray so pissed at one of them, nor seen Erza accept such angry words before. Loke suspected they had just witnessed one of those mood swings they'd been warned about. He'd have to discuss that with the others later._

_Both Loke and Lyon had learned early on to speak Gray's words as they came, or they'd face his wrath. It was understandable, given how he had little choice but to rely on his translators, that he'd feel upset if others tried to censure his words, thereby further limiting his ability to express his thoughts and feelings. So Loke spoke for him, word for word. And though he hadn't spoken his words with nearly as much passion as their friend was expressing, Lucy could doubtlessly tell from his sharp movements and outraged disposition just how much he'd wanted to yell just now._

_Lucy, now understanding Gray's ire, felt guilty as well. She had seen Erza enter, but hadn't thought to let him know she was there. They would need to try harder to make that a habit for now on. Under normal circumstances, Erza's sudden appearance wouldn't have been a big deal. But they had not just his blindness, but his constant nervousness and hyper awareness to contend with._

_She wasn't sure, but she may have been more shocked by Erza's response to his rebuke, though she could understand her reluctance to show her usual displeasure at such treatment. She probably felt like she deserved it, after inadvertently sneaking up on him like that. They were all still getting a feel for how to interact with him. And they all understood that he'd be very frustrated and angry, likely despondent, even depressed, over everything he was being forced to deal with now. Besides, no one wanted to see what he'd do if a strong, powerful woman were to erupt in anger towards him. Retreating into a quivering shell of oppressed submission and fright seemed a likely possibility._

_Erza had only been trying to suggest asking about switching to a room with a window, but knew if she tried once more to bring it up, he'd feel bad for jumping down her throat like that. Knowing she had caused him a great deal of anguish by her negligence, she merely bowed her head in regret as she replied, "Your anger is justified. Again, I am truly sorry, and I pledge to do better for now on."_

_At those solemn words, Gray deflated, his own regret evident when he bade Loke to lead him to the lone cushioned arm chair in the room, set aside for his use. He allowed him to ease him down, and he sat gingerly against the thick lumbar pillow a nurse had left there, all contact against his lower back, so he wouldn't put pressure against his grafts. He tried desperately to still his trembling hands against the arm rests, taking deep, calming breaths._

_Though it was hard to tell with half his face covered in gauze, Erza believed he looked ashamed at his harsh words, which only made her feel worse. He couldn't help his reactions, and it was her fault for setting him off. She wanted to tell him he was in no way in the wrong, but such actions often made him feel like they were patronizing him, simply letting him off because his status as a trauma victim gave him a lot of leeway for poor behavior. He hated the very idea of having such an excuse, and preferred taking responsibility for his actions, regardless of how little control he had over them._

_It was a confusing balancing act for everyone, trying to allow him the sense of accountability, while at the same time absolving him of the same. Everyone was having to adapt to so much, to change how they talked and acted around him. They had to choose their words carefully, trying to avoid anything that would remind him of what happened to him more than a month ago; mindful of the fact that to him, barely over a week had passed._

_Rather than allow him to stew in self-deprecation, Erza tried to get him to switch gears by bringing up the original reason for her early arrival, as she wasn't due to return from her trip back home for another day._

_"Mira asked me to deliver these parcels to you. They're get well gifts from everyone at the guild. Letters, cards, and pictures."_

_The contents of the parcel must have been surprising enough to derail his self scorn, because he immediately traded his look of guilt with one of confusion._

_Seeing his puzzlement at the very idea that everyone thought sending letters, of all things, made any kind of sense, she continued, "Everyone just wanted you to know how much they missed you, and that they were thinking of you. We can read the letters and cards to you, of course. And describe the pictures. Asuka drew a few for you. It was her idea to send these to you. She misses you so much."_

_She grinned as she watched his confusion dissolve into a tentative delight at her mentioning of their youngest guild member._

"Asuka?"

_Her grin became a big smile at the wistful joy he showed as he spoke the little girl's name. She knew he'd missed her as well._

_Now Loke was really convinced about the mood swings, but would let them have their peace for now. He'd just have to find some time later to urge everyone to pay attention for now on. They would all learn together._

_"Yes. There's an adorable picture she drew of you and her together, holding hands with big smiles on your faces. There's also one with a pony. It's pink. And there's a bunny sitting on it's head. She says they're best friends. She hopes you'll like them, and she wanted you to know that she'd be sending more in the coming days, until you can go home."_

_It was such a relief to see all that tension leave him, as he reached out for the parcel. He took the stack of various papers in his hands, thumbing through them, seemingly weighing them, and just feeling what textures he could discern. He even picked one up after catching a whiff of wax on the page, and sniffed it to make sure. Turning it towards Erza, he asked, "_ which one? _"_

_"That would be the one with the pink pony and bunny. How'd you know it was Asuka's?"_

"It smells like crayon. Figured it was drawn by either her or Natsu, but he's been here all week," _he smirked. Was that a joke? It was! Sort of. This was Natsu he was talking about, but still. How glad she was to see that rare smile again._

_Lucy wished they could continue, but it was almost noon. His diet was still limited, which he didn't mind, as he had such a small appetite most days anyway. But he's shown more willingness to eat if his friends ate with him, so…_

_"Well, the boys will be by for lunch very soon, so we can put these aside to read to you later, after you've had a chance to eat. Is by the bed okay?"_

_He nodded as he was about to hand them over, but briefly paused, before he asked if they could find some tape. When they asked for what purpose, he answered,_ "For everyone's art work. I want them on the walls. They'll help liven the place up… Don't worry that I can't see them. I'll still know they're there."

_Now cheerful, Lucy replied, "We should let Asuka know how eager you are to add to your collection."_

"You'll describe them all for me, right?"

 _"Every one of them," she promised_.

ooooo

Just as back then, his gate was slow, cautious, hesitant. He had no confidence as he tried to make his way down the streets to his house. It was so jarring to see how insecure and hesitant he seemed in his movements now, compared to how much ease he'd often displayed after all those months of training with Loren. Constantly having to stop for a rest wasn't helping his mood either. What was usually a twenty minute walk from the guild to his house became forty-five minutes of breathless curses and stubborn refusals to just allow someone to carry him. Gray relied on Loke to speak for him, since he couldn't use both hands right now.

He was starting to flag again, but knew he was almost home, and low blood pressure be damned, he wouldn't stop again until he could lie down in his own bed. If not to sleep, then to take some time away from everyone's overprotective, overbearing presences, and to take stock of everything that's happened. It felt like he fell asleep one day, and woke up in another time. It was Tenrou all over again, except this time, he didn't have any fellow time travelers to lean on.

Finally reaching his house, they slowly made their way up the path, when Gray suddenly stopped. Thinking something was wrong, everyone looked at him with worry, but he didn't look like he was about to keel over. His head was tilted slightly, turning an ear towards a sound that didn't belong. Curious, he nudged Lyon towards the backyard instead of the front door. Knowing what drew his attention, Lyon led him through the gate of the arbor, allowing him to pull away and approach the unexpected sound.

Water flowing into a pond.

Gray's reaction to discovering this new addition was neither happy nor upset. He was more confused than anything. He'd planned on building a pond for his fish back here, but was waiting until the fall to get started. Yet another reminder of time passed. He didn't notice how his attention started to wander, as his body relaxed by degree. This was an oddly soothing sound. Lyon noticed, and guided him to a chair, before he got too relaxed and finally collapse right there.

Gray took a moment to just take in his surroundings. He could swear he smelled snow drops near by. He hadn't smelled those in years, but he'd never forget the scent. They were his mother's favorite—

A sharp pain broke him out of that thought, making him wonder at the sudden headache as he rubbed at his throbbing temple.

"You alright there, Ice Block?" asked Natsu.

He just nodded, pulling down his hand to look up again.

" _When was the fishpond installed? From what I can tell, there's no way I built it myself."_

"We all got together and built it from the designs you made, as a surprise for Christmas. You were really touched by it," Lucy said.

" _Christmas... I forgot I'd missed it... or didn't miss it?... A surprise, huh? So you undertook a building project in my own backyard without me noticing. Way to put one over the blind guy_ ," he said with a little ire. He couldn't help but feel just a little violated that something so complex had been built without his knowledge, literally in his own backyard. He couldn't deny the sense of insecurity that idea instilled.

"... We apologize. At the time, we were only thinking of giving you something we knew you'd enjoy. Deception was never on any of our minds," said Erza.

Sighing, he said, " _No. Sorry. I'm being ungrateful. I appreciate it, really. It's a wonderful gift... I'm still just getting used to the blindness,I think."_ After all, he'd loved it the first time around, right? " _I really do enjoy it_ ," he finished with a small, placating grin.

"Hey, no worries. We're used to the snark!" beamed Natsu.

Gray's grin widened into a smirk, and he was about to reply when he was interrupted by a muffled, insistent meow, coming from his back door!?

He turned and looked curiously towards the door, and was only slightly surprised to hear it open, before he felt Happy leap onto his lap, hugging with all his might, crying, "Gray! I'm so happy you're alive!"

He patted his head with a slight chuckle, as Carla came out, chastising Happy for the over-dramatics. But why were they in his house?

**Meow!**

There was that meow again. He couldn't remember ever actually hearing any of the exceeds meow before.

"Yes, I know you missed him. Here you go," Carla said as she placed Joy down, who quickly found her way to Gray's legs, pawing at and rubbing against them, purring all the while.

???

" _I have a cat?!"_

"*Giggle* Yeah. Her name is Joy. Happy and Carla were taking care of her while you were gone," Lucy said.

"... _I 've always wanted a cat,_ " he said, almost in a daze, as he bent down to pet her. She was so soft! " _What does she look like?"_

He listened to Lucy's description as he ran his fingers through her fur, and was almost captivated by how good it felt to his hands.

' _You're missing an ear,'_ he discovered, before Lucy had clued him in on the story behind that. ' _We're very much alike. You came into this world missing a part of yourself, as well.'_

He picked her up with no protest from her, cradling her as he straightened, continuing to run his fingers through the feathery coat. Joy purred contently, happy to finally have her daddy home.

"Wow. I mean, I've seen you do that a hundred times, but you really enjoy petting cats. I'm kinda jealous," smirked Loke, receiving a soft slap on his suit jacket from Lucy.

"... _It feels good. My hands are... just strange, foreign to me. Dry, kinda numb. They feel like they're covered in a thick layer of sand. But petting her feels... nice. It makes my hands feel better."_

' _No wonder he liked petting me all the time back then_ ,' Happy thought. He still did, whenever the opportunity arose, actually.

"Why don't we go inside now. It's about time for dinner," suggested Lyon.

"You all go ahead. It's time I headed back. I've been here too long already," said Leo, "Lucy, if _your_ hands are ever too dry—"

"Goodbye, Loke! Thanks for your help!" cried Lucy as she ran inside. Everyone else soon followed, leaving Loke with Gray.

He chuckled, then to Gray he said, "You shouldn't have any troubles communicating with anyone. Lyon of course, and the girls know Gesture Speak, and Natsu and Wendy can lipread. They've all got you covered."

" _Yeah_... _great_ ," he said as he rubbed at the nub of Joy's missing ear.

"What's wrong?"

"... _Everything's changed. There's the pond, and this cat. They can all read Gestures or lips now. I walked out of the hardware store one day in the summer, and woke up in the middle of winter. I can't do anything on my own. Lyon had to teach me how to take a piss without missing before we left the guild. He didn't even seem surprised or flustered, like he was used to dealing with crap like that. I have a heart condition now. I feel like I should be more freaked out about my eyes, but it's like the novelty's worn off already. Everything's just._.."

"It's a lot to take in at once. I understand. Imagine getting summoned for battle, then going home, only to get summoned again just a few hours later; but to our master, weeks had already passed. There were times when I wasn't contracted to anyone. One day, my master dies, contract is void, then a few months later in the Celestial World, I get summoned to form a contract with a new master, and decades have passed here. It can be pretty daunting sometimes.

"All you can do is adapt, and try your best to keep going. You're going to be okay, Gray. Just take it one day at a time. Those guys in there will walk with you every step of the way."

" _Yeah... thanks. Guess we'll talk later, then_."

"I'll be around. See ya." And he disappeared.

"... _Yeah... See ya_."

Gray stayed seated in his chair, enjoying the sounds and scents around him. A chill fell upon him, and he thought it odd that he could feel discomfort from the cold, but not be bothered by that fact. So he'd lost his immunity to the cold as well. Just something else to add to the list of suck.

...

That sounded familiar, too.

"Gray. You coming in? Lucy's heating up some stew," asked Lyon.

He was about to nod, but out of nowhere, he felt this sudden sense of unease. It was so strong, almost suffocating. Where was this coming from? It was just his house!

"Gray?" Lyon asked, touching his shoulder, pulling it back when Gray jerked in surprise, "I'm sorry! I thought you heard me... are you alright?

_"... I was just wondering... if I could eat out here?... I... I just like the sounds out here."_

"Yeah! Yeah, sure. We eat out here a lot, actually. Let me get a couple of bowls, and I'll join you." He turned to do just that, when Gray stopped him with a knock against the arm of his chair.

 _"Lyon,"_ he said, wanting to ask him about this strange bout of fear, but had a sudden change of heart, _"Thanks."_

"You're welcome. Be right back."

As Lyon left, Gray felt relieved that he still had Joy to keep him company. He couldn't understand why he was feeling these odd emotions.

But for whatever reason, he just couldn't shake off this puzzling fear of going into his own home.

* * *

Lyon was grateful that Wendy and Natsu had stuck around after everyone else had left.

Dinner was pleasant enough. No one else chose to come outside with them, opting to enjoy the warmth of the house. They just figured it was an ice mage thing, until they remembered that Gray shouldn't be out there at all. They could all tell he was cold, especially Lyon, but he steadfastly refused to go inside. Wendy opted to let him have his way, draping a fleece throw over his shoulders instead. He really appreciated it, which begged the question: If he really was so cold, why not just come inside?

Natsu had an idea of what was wrong, and wanted to reassure him that his house was safe, but safe from what? He couldn't just tell Gray that his anxiety was stemming from his brutal assault and kidnapping from his own living room, by scary-dead-zombie-puppets and their freak of a master.

When dinner was finished, Gray had to steel himself enough to face his fear. This was getting ridiculous. He's a grown man, afraid of... what, exactly? He'd faced far scarier things than a single story cottage. Mentally preparing himself for the inevitable, he heard Lyon clear his throat before saying quietly, "Look, I know you're scared. All I can do is promise that nothing will harm you here, and that I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to leave you alone. Why don't you let me lead you inside? I promise, if you're too uncomfortable, we can go to a hotel or something. Okay?"

Well, hadn't that made him feel like a little child? As much as it annoyed him that Lyon felt he had to say these things, he'd been a little more annoyed at himself because of how much better they made him feel. Putting his apparent wussification aside, he nodded his agreement, glad that at least he could feel some of that fear abating.

Natsu and Wendy, having heard the conversation, made excuses to stick around a little longer as well.

They were now in the process of getting ready for bed. Gray pretended he _hadn't_ felt such an unexpected relief when Lucy and Erza had left. Why was his brain telling him to be wary of them as well? That puzzle, along with what the hell happened to his furniture, could wait until he wasn't about to fall asleep in his shower. He'd had to practically pinky swear to Wendy that he wouldn't try to remove the gauze over his chest wound. Honestly, he had no inclinations towards doing that anyway. Something deep inside just didn't want him to.

He held back a lewd comment for Wendy's sake after being informed that Lyon would have to be there while he showered, since the much stronger heart meds he was on right now made him a "falling hazard." Whatever. If Lyon could teach him how to piss on target, Gray supposed he could also supervise bath time. At least now that he was away from prying eyes, he could finally explore whatever happened to his body.

Such as these strange scars on his forearm. They felt like... tally marks?

_" **Five times..."**_

That sharp pain in his head again. What was that just now? There was something... but it's faded away already. Weird. Running his hand up his arm, he found another scar near his shoulder, this one adjacent to a large patch of skin that had that same slight numbness he'd noticed on his back. All along his upper back.

_... **he let out a primal scream that he couldn't hear, as once again, his senses and thoughts were overwhelmed with stimuli.**_

He had this sudden desire to turn the water colder, and for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why having water run down his back felt so... alleviating. The darkness certainly added to the atmosphere. With nothing to see, he could concentrate on just touch and sound. He leaned his hands against the wall, and just stood there under the spray, listening to the sound of the thrumming water, feeling every stream as they cascaded down his back. His mind started to wander. It felt safe here, enclosed within this cool, dark place. No distractions.

**_Nothing to see, only to feel_ **

**_No distractions_ **

**_From the pain_ **

Someone turned off the water, wrapping a towel around his waste. He blinked, refocusing, coming awake. Not awake. He was already awake. He thought? Lowering his arms, he straightened, closing his eyes at the dizzy feeling that came over him.

"I've got you. Come on. You've been in here longer than usual. Let's get you dried off. Wendy wants to check you over before you're down for the night."

As Lyon helped him, he chose not to voice his concern. Gray looked too tired to deal with it anyway. But he wouldn't respond to his calls earlier. And the water had been freezing, as evidenced by the slight shiver that ran through his body once or twice.

Now dry and dressed in a pair of pajama pants, Lyon threw his favored black yukata over him as well, before they exited the bathroom. It wasn't just to keep him warm. Gray may not remember his hesitance to let others see his scars, but he did, and with Natsu here, he was looking out for _his_ comfort as well. Everyone knew Natsu's feelings about the burns.

Instead of being led to his bedroom, which again, sent an odd sense of relief through his being, Lyon took him to the dining room, and sat him on a couch.

Sat him on a _couch_.

In his _dining room._

' _I'm too tired for this crap._ '

He wasn't even gonna ask.

It was pretty comfortable, though.

"Gray-san, I'm gonna check your wound now, okay? Please let me know if I make you uneasy," Wendy said.

" _I've never felt uneasy around you,"_ he replied quickly, no doubt in his mind.

She smiled sadly, knowing how true his words were, but wishing he understood why.

Gray sat back and let her work. He just assumed he must have gotten slashed or something, and maybe it got infected. Or maybe it had something to do with his heart. Was it a surgical scar? No. He'd felt his chest. He couldn't miss that distinct scar right over his heart. That's another thing to wonder about. He's always taken good care of himself, and developing a heart condition had never even crossed his mind. Maybe he was exposed to a toxin or something.

He instinctively tensed and grabbed at the sheets he was sitting on, taking in a sharp gasp at an unexpected sensation.

"I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?"

He just shook his head no.

" _Just felt weird."_

"I was just pulling out the gauze. Some of the fibers got snagged. I'll warn you next time. Just try to relax. This won't take long."

...

Pulling the gauze _out_ , not _off._

 _'Just how deep was I cut?'_ he wondered.

They wouldn't even let him touch it, and with the complete lack of sensation there, he couldn't even guess at how it must look. If he asked, would they tell him? Maybe he could bribe Happy with some fish.

She finished up quickly, and offered him water with a number of pills. What was this, the third time today? He downed them and the water in one gulp, like he was used to doing it. He supposed he was. Finally allowed to lie down, he didn't care to ask about this odd sleeping arrangement. If this was his idea, who was he to argue with himself? Joy jumped onto his pillow, making herself at home next to his face, laying her head against his neck. He smiled at that.

' _Again, thanks for the company,'_ was his last thought as he drifted off to sleep.

Wendy and Carla, staying to be available incase of any medical needs, made themselves comfortable in the recliner out in the living room, while Natsu and Happy plopped down on a pile of blankets on the floor by the dining room table, just close enough to be there, but not so close that Gray might trip over them in the night. They could all tell that the prospect of them being there all night had eased his anxiety.

In Lyon's opinion, Gray's taken his awakening into these many changes fairly well, all things considered. He began to wonder if maybe it would be better for him to not remember what happened. But he could tell some remnants still made themselves known. It was only a matter of time before Gray came back to himself. He hoped to see it happen sooner rather than later, or these irrational fears and unexplainable episodes would drive him over the edge.

They all settled down to sleep.

Only to wake up in panic hours later.

ooooo

_Something was burning._

_He could smell it, hear it, feel it's warmth. Why couldn't he see it? One was able to see a single burning match in the pitch blackness of night from miles away. Why couldn't he see the flames which caused his skin to blister?_

_He backed away, but the heat was everywhere._

_It was stifling, wherever he was. It was hard to breathe. He tried to use his magic, found it gone._

_He was burning._

_His screams echoed in the darkness, engulfing and obscuring the sounds of the crackling fire and the hissing, sizzling, popping sounds of his skin searing away._

_There was a scent of charred meat, death, decay._

_Something cold took hold of him, covering his eyes with one hand, so the black that surrounded him was made somehow darker. A deep void. An infinite abyss._

_Another hand reached around his throat, squeezing so he could no longer scream._

_He was paralyzed. Trembling to an unknown, yet strangely familiar, fear. He couldn't break away, couldn't defend himself, couldn't plead for release._

_Dry, course fingers ghosted over his skin, hovering over the uncovered wound on his chest, before savagely thrusting in, burrowing into his rib cage, the hand wrapping around his heart, and squeezing._

_He tasted blood, and his knees gave out, but still, he couldn't move, like an invisible force held him upright. He choked on his scream, feeling the blood well up in his throat, passed his lips, down his chin._

_"You belong to me, dear boy. Never forget who owns you; heart, body, mind and soul."_

_'Who...?'_

_He couldn't form the thought. As soon as he tried to wonder who these 'creatures' were, he felt a violent pull, the pain in his chest increasing many fold. He gasped._

_"Heh, heh, heh. You held on so persistently to that bloody rag, like it was your life line," the person said, taking one of Gray's hands, his limp fingers falling open, "How long can you hold on to this one, dear boy," he said as he closed his fingers around something warm and wet._

_It was pulsing._

_ooooo_

Gray fell off the couch, screaming his futile scream into the silent darkness, his yukata tangled in the sheets. He wrested his arms free from the confining material, and pulled himself away, scooting back until he found the wall, still screaming. He thought himself still in that dark inferno. A vision of the encounter with that evil presence was forefront in his mind.

 _'That_ thing _ripped out my —_!'

Was it still gone? All rationality left him as he reached for the wound over his guild mark, pulling off the gauze he found there, trying to find the path to his heart. The pain from the rough treatment startled him more awake. He was short of breath, and his heart, due to the increased beta blockers, was unable to pump fast enough to support the flow of oxygen he needed to stave off the dizziness. He tried to dig his hand into the path that wasn't there, and a new pain blossomed. He remembered burning, the smell and sound of his own flesh as it sizzled.

The scent of blood woke Natsu up, and he rolled to his feet instantly, Happy falling from his perch on top of his stomach. The sound of labored breathing drew him to Gray's position, and he called for Happy to get the lights as he crouched before the terrified mage.

"Gray! What happened? Your bleeding! Wendy! Lyon!"

Wendy was already awake, having heard Natsu yelling to Happy. She was quickly there, placing fresh gauze over his wound, only for Gray to pull away.

' _He's here! He's still here!'_

**_Always here_ **

He stumbled to his feet, leaning heavily against the wall, and tried to get away. Wendy tried to stop him, but Natsu knew he was still trapped in whatever nightmare woke him, and might try to fight it off. He didn't want her getting hurt. She'd recover just fine. Gray never would.

He made it a few feet before he lost his footing, saved from a fall when Lyon caught him. He tried to fight him off, delivering a clumsy punch before Lyon restrained him in a tight hug. He lost his already precarious balance, falling to his knees, still struggling against whoever held him. He screamed as he fought, but Lyon held him in a firm but gentle embrace, revealing who he was, and assuring whatever he'd seen wasn't real.

It took a while, but he was finally convinced it was just a nightmare. Lyon still held him, as he was reluctant to be released now. Sobs wracked his body as he tried to calm down, Lyon rubbing the back of his head like one would a scared child. He was starkly reminded that this current Gray hadn't had countless nights of similar experiences to be desensitized to the affects of these visions.

And the slayers were heartbroken as they caught his anguished, desperate pleas.

_"I don't want to. Please, I can't! Don't make me! Please, don't make me remember. Oh, God, I don't want to remember..."_

* * *

**_I've been seriously considering changing my pen name to Purveyor_of_ Angst. Think I should?_ **

**_Next chapter: This Gray is so different from the one before._ **


	34. Dissonance Part 3

Nine days have passed since he'd lost the last five months of his life. With each day came new frustrations and unpredictable anxieties. The first few days were much like the first day he woke up. He'd discovered his fear of women early on, when he'd tripped over Happy, and Erza had caught him, causing him to suffer his first of several panic attacks. Seriously? They couldn't have warned him about that? How the Hell had he functioned this long with an irrational fear of half the human population? More precisely their touch, he'd been corrected later on. And why was he okay with Wendy?

It wasn't long before he discovered it wasn't just women he feared. Or for whatever reason his house. He was driven into outright hysteria at one point, when he'd caught the scent of roasting meat coming from one of his neighbors, who had been cooking outdoors. After crashing into the bathroom to empty his stomach into the toilet, he'd sat in the shower, still fully clothed, until Lyon was finally able to coax him out after an hour had passed. He was too nauseous to eat the rest of the day, and chose to go without pain meds until the next morning. Lyon hid the sea salt in the bedroom closet with his meds afterwards. He wasn't going to risk him stumbling upon that particular phobia if he could help it.

But by day four, his heart had strengthened enough to lower the dosage of the heart meds. He was still tired, but that was mostly due to magic deficiency and lack of sleep, and he was no longer so easily winded, either. What he wasn't aware of was the fact that those meds had been lessening his anxiety symptoms as well. That night, upon Wendy noticing his rise in tension, he was given the choice of whether to go back to the stronger doses, and be constantly tired and weak; or remain as is, and try to control his stress responses. He had no control at all over how tired he felt, and he was getting sick of always feeling weak and having his mind in a fog. So he chose the option that allowed him more control. His friends were all surprisingly understanding with his choice.

One problem down heralded a new one to deal with.

What started out as short lived headaches that were localized to just his temples have grown to not-quite migraine levels, making him sensitive to sound and prone to lashing out when irritated. It took several days for Porlyusica and Wendy to narrow down the probable causes, finally connecting the sudden onsets to flashes of memory. It was difficult to do so, as those memories were fleeting, and he could never really recall that he'd even seen anything before the pain chased it away.

The only reason they were able to discover these flashes was because of an episode that occurred while Loke was present to witness it. He and Cana were hanging out with him while the rest of his team and Lyon (at Gray's insistence) were out on separate missions. Loke had noticed him trying to feel the scars along the palms of his hands. While his fingers were marred beyond recognition, one could discern vague shapes branded into the palms as well. No one had been able to tell what those shapes were, and Gray had never been very forthcoming with the particulars of what had happened to him during his captivity, nor had anyone ever felt comfortable enough to ask. Some burns overlapped others, and the shapes changed with different hand positions. But by luck, he'd brushed against a scar with the back of his knuckle, unaware that he'd trained for months to do just that. Determining that he could now feel a pattern in his hand, he traced it out and discovered...

**_he froze the chains just as he grasped them, feeling a harsh bite of pain as the still lingering heat burnt his flesh_ **

"Gray. Hey, you alright?"

He had hissed in pain, grabbing the side of his head.

**_He bit back a cry as he desperately tried to hang on just a little longer, until the chains began to glow._ ** _..._ _"... chains?"_

...

"What's wrong?" asked Cana, as she set a couple of drinks on the table between the two deck chairs.

"I don't know. Maybe another headache?... He said something... Gray, you okay, man?"

He took a deep breath and released it, nodding as he lowered his hand.

"Here," Cana said, offering a glass, "I brought you some water."

He held the glass to his temple, closing his eyes and leaning back in his chair.

As Cana sat in the chair Loke had vacated, he crouched in front of Gray and asked, "Gray, you said something just now. What did you mean by it?"

Gray winced a little, saying, " _Too loud."_

Loke exchanged concerned looks with Cana. He really hadn't been that loud. Lowering his voice, he apologized and asked again.

"...?... _What did I say?"_

Again with the concern. Why couldn't he remember? Not wanting to cause him undue disstress...

"... You know what? I probably read wrong. That looked like a bad one. Do you need anything?"

" _Is it too soon for more meds?"_

Cana, having heard about the past accusations of drug dependency from Loke, knew not to imply anything.

"Lunch is almost ready, or you can have a snack if you really need some pain killers now," she said.

" _I'll wait. Headache's going away. Just wish they'd stop sneaking up on me."_

"Well, I'm gonna help Cana finish up so we can eat sooner. You good out here on your own?"

He nodded. That's the best thing he'd heard all day. As much as he loved his friends, they just wouldn't leave him alone. It's not like he was planning on wandering off somewhere. Where the heck would he go? He could hardly find the freakin bathroom without stumbling into something.

If only that Loren guy (which is totally a girl's name, he'd snickered) wasn't booked for the rest of the month. Everyone else had tried to help him figure out that O and M crap, but none of them had been present during that first lesson months ago, and had no idea where to even begin. On top of that, though not admitting it to the others, as they'd probably get even more anxious with him, he just wasn't feeling it. He wasn't sure if it was the newness of being blind, or the mysterious circumstances in which it'd come about, but he's been finding himself more and more apathetic to the whole thing lately. But that pretty much left him home bound, with little to keep him occupied.

Maybe if they'd all stop being so smothering! Had they been like this with him before? He didn't get that impression. They seemed unsure how to handle him, but they should have had the last five months to get use to this. He's had days! They just kept rushing him to relearn all this crap that he'd apparently had no problem mastering the first time around. And by God, if he heard one more comment about how "quickly he was able to learn it before"... At least the him from before had the benefit of _KNOWING_. Was what happened to him really so bad, that staying in this limbo was better? Feeling the scars over his eyes, he sometimes couldn't decide on an answer.

While he was brooding outside, Cana looked to Loke for answers. She knew right away that he was just making an excuse to talk to her in private. While she took the stir fried beef slices off the stove (the reason the boys were outside in the first place), she waited for Loke to explain what he saw.

"He said the word 'chains' just now. As far as I can recall, there were no chains in the torture chamber."

Cana knitted her brow, trying to figure out what Gray could have meant. Where did chains come into play? She knew he was tied down, but with wire. It was while she was adding the seared meat to the currently sizzling vegetables that she recalled what Levy had told her and Mira about the kiln, and the chains hanging from the ceiling. She almost teared up.

"I think I know how he got those burns on his hands. The kiln he was locked in had chains hanging over head. We always thought his hands got burned when he fell to the floor. He must have been holding onto them... he must have been so desperate to hang on..." She tapered off, once again reminded of what he was going through while she was busy failing to find him.

"Lucy never mentioned what was in the kiln. Most everyone who saw must not have given the chains a second thought. Hey, it's okay. It was months ago. I know every time we learn something new, it's distressing, but he's gotten better since then. And besides, this is good news. This means he's starting to remember."

"Do you think the headaches are related?"

"He gets them so often, maybe he's _been_ remembering, but his mind is trying to repress it. But they're also not anything new. They do seem different, so it's a possibility. We'll ask Porlyusica about it later. Come on. He's gonna want those meds soon... And don't worry. Things will go back to normal soon."

"I know. It just sucks that normal couldn't be the way things were before..."

That was two days ago.

Today, Gray was bored. Joy was running around the house, doing random cat things that cats tended to do, so playing with her was out. At least he could track her easily enough. How can such a small animal make so much noise running back and forth across the floor? Natsu and Happy were busy playing Go Fish, while Lucy was doing one of those number puzzles from the latest issue of "Sorcerers' Weekly", neither activities being something he could partake in either. He couldn't read anyway, having forgotten he knew how to read Braille.

Seeing his discontent upon her arrival this morning, Lucy had been kind enough to read the latest news to him during breakfast. A lot of it entailed weird happenings up north. Apparently, Juvia had some involvement in a serial killer case? How the hell did she get herself mixed up in that?! But Gajeel and Panther Lily were with her, so that was good. He couldn't deny the small sense of relief he'd felt in finding out he had a reprieve from her usual antics, though. Meanwhile, a whole dark guild, Something-or-other's Wake, went missing. No love loss there. Maybe Jellal's crew had something to do with that. Nice to see they've been keeping busy. There were whole villages going missing, though. Now that was mysterious. The news didn't have much to say about that. Weird. And Fiore was now open to establishing an embassy in Alvarez. That was pretty big news. He still couldn't believe Gildarts had such a huge role in that. He was still getting used to how much things had changed in just under half a year. It was pretty daunting. Maybe he'd skip the news for now on. It only left him feeling more lost than before.

Deciding he needed to move, he stood up and felt his way to a wall, and just kept his hand against it as he paced back and forth. Not much to it, but if it got rid of some of his pent up energy... It seemed to work for Joy, at least.

It didn't feel right, though. The position of his hands felt wrong. After a few laps down and back, he tried turning his hands in different directions, trying to find that perfect technique. As soon as he brushed the knuckles of his pinkie and ring fingers against the wall, it felt perfect. He knew this to be muscle memory. He began to wonder what else he could figure out on his own.

Lucy gave a sad smile at seeing Gray's actions. He really couldn't sit still, regardless of his current state. She hadn't missed how he'd experimented until he found the correct O and M position he'd been taught before. She grinned proudly this time. It's such a small comparison, but she could recall feeling this same sense of pride as she'd watched him regain some of his physical abilities during the few PT sessions she'd witnessed. But she also sympathized with him. There really wasn't much he could do right now. It must be driving him crazy being stuck here all the time.

"Are you bored?" she asked.

" _Mind-numbingly so,"_ he gestured back.

"I brought my manuscript with me, in case I got some ideas while I was here. I could read to you if you want?" she offered.

That was actually pretty tempting. Why not? He nodded, slowly making his way to the now familiar armchair, mindful of the new rug and rather large ottoman now in his way, and made himself comfortable as she brought her work out.

She started where she'd left off last time, reading the first few paragraphs before she heard him whistle. She looked up, confused, until he gestured, " _When the hell did Maggie break up with Villar?"_

Dang it. How could she have forgotten? Of course he wouldn't remember the last eleven chapters.

As she flipped through the pages, she said, "I'm sorry. I completely forgot...I mean, well, we'd already..."

She looked up to see his reaction, trailing off, and was disappointed at his somber face.

"Gray? I'm really sorry."

He didn't understand why that pissed him off more than she forgetting which 'Gray' he was... No, maybe it was a tie, now that he thought about it. But he was tired of this lack of comfort and the unease he kept sensing from them. It felt like he was in a house full of strangers, except they all knew each other, and _he_ was the interloper. In his own freaking house. But _not_ his house! He still couldn't stand the idea of being alone in there, which sucked when he really needed some solitude. Which they rarely gave him. He couldn't figure out the layout, always bumping into things, expecting his old furniture, in their original arrangement. And who the hell needed so many freakin throw pillows?!

Ten days ago, to him at least, everything was normal. Then, in a single day, he'd found himself in this strange world, trapped in this constantly weak and pain-stricken body, surrounded by unbearably familiar yet unrecognizable "friends" who were just as confused with him as he was of them.

They shouldn't have to feel so wary around him.

They shouldn't have to apologize to him all the time.

Or act like they've gotta be at his beck and call. Or feel obligated to stay up with him whenever the insomnia kicked in, or the nightmares...

... Or cry for him.

He couldn't understand why their actions angered him so. He knew they acted out of love. But it was so constricting, and draining, for him _and_ for them, he was sure. Why couldn't they just be normal around him? Or back off and let him figure things out? Or just freaking stop apologizing all the time?!

Angrily, he replied, " _I'm sorry I can't be your Gray—"_

"No! It's not like that at all—"

 **CLAP**!

That shut her up. He turned towards Natsu. No doubt he had his full attention.

_"Natsu, take me outside... Please."_

He was barely suppressing his frustrations and anger, his body trembling and teeth grinding, and Natsu knew it was sometimes better to just appease him. This wouldn't be the first time he'd gone out for some space. Natsu didn't know what he'd said to Lucy, but she just nodded and waved him along, so he nodded back and took him by the shoulder, leading him out to the backyard, where he felt around with his bare feet until he found the gravel around the pond. He sat crossed-leg, leaning against a tree that had been left by the pond for shade. It was bare of leaves now, so the sun shined through, keeping him warm enough in the slight chill.

He just sat there, pointedly ignoring Natsu, who was starting to get annoyed at the obvious slight. He was already irritated about how he'd treated Lucy.

"Oy, Frostbite—"

_"F*ck off."_

Natsu bristled, ready to call him out on his attitude, but saved his words as he turned and stomped back inside, letting the door slam to express his ire.

Gray would have preferred it if Natsu had yelled at him. At least that would have been appropriate.

And normal.

' _Where does that ice block get off, getting all mad at us like that? Lucy was only trying to help,'_ he thought.

 _"_ You alright, Luce?"

"I'm fine. It was my fault. I know he's sensitive about reminders of how much time he lost."

"That's no excuse for being a jerk!"

"Natsu..." She was at a loss for words. What Gray had said shocked and saddened her. It was so reminiscent of what he'd said several months back, when he'd overheard her say that he wasn't "their Gray" anymore.

"Don't make any excuses for him. Nobody knows how to deal with him! He's always irritated, doesn't wanna do anything with us, snaps our heads off if we _do_ try to get him involved—"

"It's not like he can remember his training. He doesn't know what he's able to do. I think because of that, he's just having a bad day," suggested Happy.

"Boredom isn't any reason to yell at you! What the hell does he have to complain about?! The guy he is now, he _never_ went through what the other Gray did! But the other Gray never bitched like this! He's been acting like a bastard all week! I'm sick of putting up with his attitude! The other Gray—"

"IS RIGHT OUTSIDE THAT DOOR!" she screamed, unable to believe what she'd just heard, from Natsu of all people. Besides Lyon, he'd been his most staunch supporter this whole time. "And he probably heard _everything_ you just said. He's not some stranger who took Gray's place. He IS Gray! I mean, can you blame him for lashing out?! He... he said he was sorry... that he couldn't be _our_ Gray. I can't believe we made him feel that way. It's not fair that we keep comparing him to how he was. His whole world was suddenly turned upside down. Again! And he can't even turn to his friends for help, because we're all too focused on remembering how he used to be!"

Natsu had to sit down when the full weight of what she said hit him. She was right. He'd be pissed off too if he was in the same situation. Even more so, in fact, him being the hothead of the team. Gray's usually the last one to let emotions get the best of him. If he was upset, he had reason to be.

Where did they go wrong? Looking back, things were awkward and tense in those first few weeks after he came home from the hospital as well. They'd all had to adapt. But after a while, they figured out what worked, and were able to weather the storms as they came.

What was so different now? Was it only because Gray couldn't remember? Why should that make a difference? He was still their friend. They were so patient and understanding the first time around. And slowly but surely, he got better.

He did get better. Maybe that's what happened. He still had his bad moments, and they still had to be mindful of certain things, but he'd improved so much. And they got used to him. They grew accustomed to _that_ Gray. It got to the point where it was easy to forget he was a trauma victim, and they got so good at keeping his triggers at bay, that any fear reaction or flashback was becoming fewer and farther between.

Then he'd changed again.

And they'd failed to adapt.

He wasn't being ungrateful, or trying to be difficult, though thanks to them, he probably felt that way. He was angry and bitter, frustrated, and constantly having to deal with fears in which he didn't understand the sources of. All of these reactions were textbook PTSD, and Natsu just brushed Gray's actions off as him having an attitude problem. He'd punch himself in the face if he thought he could get enough leverage to punch hard enough. Maybe Lucy would be willing to...

Something like this couldn't be fixed with just an apology, not like last time. If they really wanted to make things better between them, they'd have to adjust how they would approach him for now on. No more walking on eggshells, or expecting him to be someone he wasn't. No more rushing him to "just get it", and they definitely needed to see about granting him more freedoms. He'd just shown them today that he's capable of relearning skills that his body remembered. It could only benefit him to learn what else he could do.

He discussed his thoughts with Lucy, who had been thinking along the same lines. Together, all three went to the back door—and rushed out when they saw Gray was leaning over his crossed legs, head clasped tightly in both hands, his face grimacing in pain.

"Gray! What happened!—" Natsu stopped yelling when he saw Gray wince, lowering his voice as he said, "another headache?"

He just nodded as Natsu leaned him back against the tree. Happy crawled into his lap, and Gray was quick to bring his hands down, half cuddling, half petting him, using him as a willing distraction. The pain started to lessen. Leaning his head back, he finally opened his eyes and blinked back some tears, taking a shuddering breath as he said, " _They're getting worse."_

It must have been really bad for him to so easily admit that.

"Can you recall anything this time?" Lucy quietly asked.

He almost shook his head , but didn't want to do anything that might bring the pain back. He started to say no, but paused and furrowed his brow as he thought back. There was a glimpse of something in the back of his mind that he tried to hold on to, but it was slipping away like all the other times this had happened. The only thing he could grasp was

" _... she was singing..."_

Surprised, Lucy and Natsu exchanged looks. This was promising. Were his memories finally returning? They couldn't fathom what could have fueled that particular memory, as usually, something was said or done that would cause one of these "recall" headaches. Maybe that meant his memories were trying to flow more freely now, without reminders. But singing? He only forgot as far back as the incident. So unless he was talking about the time Erza broke out in show tunes that one rainy afternoon, or maybe when Mira was on stage singing Christmas carols, he could only be talking about his time in the chamber. But why the hell would his torturer sing to him? That was kinda sick, as they thought about it.

"What was she singing?" Lucy asked.

"... _she... didn't know all the words... kept humming... I can't..."_

He was getting frustrated again as he couldn't recall who that voice had belonged to, nor the few words he did hear. The memory started to fade. Maybe it was for the best, he thought.

" _It's gone. I can't even remember the tune... but I know I liked how it sounded... It reminded me of my m—"_

He gasped once more, grabbing his head again as he closed his eyes tightly. They could only watch as he rode out another wave of pain. Lucy wished she could massage his neck or rub his temples or _something_ , but had to hold herself in check. Natsu stored that little revelation for later. He had no doubt that Gray was trying to say "mom".

He finally relaxed, slumping against the tree now. If he'd wanted to rid himself of all his nervous energy, mission accomplished. He really could just curl up right here for a nap. He wondered if Joy would want to come out and join him. ' _Sorry, Happy,'_ he thought, ' _you've been demoted to plushie.'_

Before he could actually act on his plans, Natsu wrapped one of his annoyingly limp arms over his shoulders, and helped him stand as Happy hopped off. There goes his cuddle buddy. Oh well. The ground was getting hard, anyway.

As his head cleared, his strength slowly returned, and he was able to take the last few steps to his favorite chair on his own. So much for taking a nap.

After a while, Lucy handed him an ice water, which he drank half of before placing the glass against his head. A minute later, he grew tired of the silence. Just because he couldn't talk didn't mean they had to clam up, too.

He placed his glass down and gestured, " _You guys wanna do something?"_ He could at least get them to go back to playing stupid card games or whatever.

"Actually... we were wondering if you'd want to go to the guild," said Lucy.

The _guild._ He hasn't been back to the guild since he woke up over a week ago. This was a complete turn around. They weren't going to suggest he relax or take it easy? Or fuss at him for throwing what's become his version of a tantrum? He heard some of what they'd said, before his brain decided to be a little shit to him and fire off another round of agony for its own amusement. Whatever else they'd talked about, they must have come to some decision that involved backing off a little. He wasn't gonna let this chance slip away.

" _When do we leave?"_

* * *

Over the next few days, a new (old) routine developed. It took a while to walk to the guild that first day, as Natsu knew how to be a guide, but wasn't all that great at teaching Gray how to "be blind" as he'd put it. But they made it there in just over thirty minutes, and had a nice time that day. Everyone was happy to see him again, and they were good about giving him space and not asking stupid questions. It's like they were used to it. Asuka was there, and she was the most excited of all to see him again. Imagine his surprise when he'd learned she knew Gesture Speak. And that he'd taught it to her. Her cheerfulness was too infectious for him to feel bitter at yet another reminder of his lost time. A shame the others couldn't seem to pick up on that. He enjoyed every moment with her, smiling as she described her latest work of art, teaching her Gestures she hadn't learned yet, and simply basking in the child's enthusiasm and openness with him. She treated him like she always did. Like her Gray-ni.

He was in a good mood when they dropped him off at home, where Lyon was just finishing preparing dinner. He'd been surprised to come home from his mission to an empty house, but found the note that Lucy was courteous enough to leave. Seeing Gray in such high spirits was such a relief.

Lyon thought it was a great idea to start visiting the guild again, and was pleased beyond measure that the daily back and forth seemed to have helped Gray remember some of his O and M training. He scoffed at using the cane at first (familiar territory for Lyon) but after walking a couple of blocks that second day, Gray holding onto Lyon's arm without even having to be told, he instinctively started moving the cane from side to side, searching for obstacles in his path. He even held it correctly. His confidence grew each day, and given a few more weeks of practice, he'd be able to find his way to the guild on his own, but for Porlyusica's order to always have someone with him.

Lyon's only concern were those damned headaches. They were getting worse with each passing day, and more frequent. It was like Gray's mind was warring with itself. One side wanted him to remember, but the other, stronger side, was willing to use extreme tactics to overcome the enemy. Even little things that had nothing to do with the incident set them off now, things that were more related to events from the last five months. It was all so arbitrary. Touching his cane for the first time had set one off, but when he'd touched the Happy figurine he'd made with Asuka, he was fine.

If Gray didn't insist on going to the guild every day, he'd make him stay home and try to sleep them off. It was getting to the point where he'd gladly give up the return of his memories if it meant an end to the painful episodes. He thought Gray felt the same way, but for different reasons. Gray was becoming more and more convinced that he really didn't want to remember what happened, if his dreams and scars were anything to go by.

Neither of them could ever realize that he'd developed a mental block that was preventing him from wanting to seek the truth. Just as his brain kept forcing his body to feel pains that shouldn't be there, and from speaking, and from recovering his memories; just as it continued to deliver nightmares and sleepless nights; just as it seemed to get off on forcing him to react fearfully to innocuous things; so too did it seem to have built an impenetrable wall around the very _idea_ of seeking after his past. The desire just wasn't there, and anytime someone brought the notion up, it was like his reasoning shut down, and he did whatever he could to get out of the conversation.

None of his friends ever considered how odd it was that he would be so resolute against finding out what really happened to him. If they'd thought about it, they would have remembered that the Gray they knew so well would have fought with reckless abandon to recover everything he'd lost. But after everything he'd been through, they were just happy to see him smile again. They knew they were all in denial. They also suspected their avoidances were counterproductive, and probably unhealthy in the long run.

But right now, as Lyon watched along with the rest of the team, all he could think about was how happy Gray looked today. He and Asuka were telling each other silly riddles to pass the time before Mira brought their lunches over. It was becoming almost a competition, as they each took turns trying to stump the rest of the group. After the first few rounds, Lucy decided to bow out so the others had a chance to guess the answers.

_"I have only one color, but many sizes; I appear at dawn, hide when the sun wants to leave, return before it's gone. Who am I?"_

Lyon smiled. Ur had taught them that one.

It looked like Lucy knew this one as well, judging from her grin. She edged closer to Natsu, trying not to giggle as Natsu's face took on so many different looks as he thought about the answer. Erza, contemplating over a strawberry daiquiri, looked like she couldn't get it either. Wendy looked like she may have figured it out, but held her tongue to allow a little more time for the others to think. Asuka, finger to her chin as she thought and thought, kept saying "hmmm" as if she was systematically picking through all the obvious wrong answers before she came to the right one. Gray grinned as he envisioned the little girl sitting on his knee, kicking her little feet as she tried to solve the riddle.

"Um, I don't know. Who are you?" she asked.

_"Anyone?"_

"I—I think it's a shadow?" said Wendy.

" _Very good," Gray grinned, "Shadows appear at dawn, disappear at noon, when the sun is as high as it will go, before it begins to sink again; and then, the shadows return, remaining until sunset,"_ he explained to Asuka.

"Yay! Do another one!" Asuka cheered.

_"No can do. Wendy guessed the answer. I think she should have a turn to give a riddle."_

"Oh! I don't really know any good ones," Wendy replied.

"Come on! Just one? Please?" Asuka begged.

" _If you know any easy ones, Asuka might like them more,"_ Gray mouthed so Wendy, but not Asuka, could understand. May as well give the kid one she could figure out.

"Well, I did hear a pretty silly one from somewhere. Here goes: How do you attract a squirrel?"

It was a small twinge, hardly worth mentioning, but Natsu saw Gray wince, letting him know another headache had come, and with it, more memories. He paid attention to Gray's face, incase he said anything, but relaxed when all he said was, " _You have to act like a nut..."_

_" **Am I the squirrel or the nut?"**_

"Ha! That's pretty funny! Good one, Wendy!" Natsu said.

"So you know the answer?" asked Lucy.

"Nah. Gray already said it. You have to act like a nut! Get it?"

Asuka turned her head to look at Gray, telling him it was his turn. He rubbed his temple, glad it was such a minor ache compared to the others, and looked up confusedly, saying he hadn't answered the riddle, so it still wasn't his turn.

Natsu was also confused. He saw him give the answer!

Before he or Asuka could correct him, Bisca came by to collect her daughter for lunch.

"Can't I eat here today? We're telling riddles!"

"Oh, yeah? You learn any good ones?," she asked as she crouched down to be more eye level with Asuka.

As she was about to tell her the one about the shadow, Asuka caught a glimpse of the compass Bisca wore as a necklace. She always got a warm feeling when she saw her parents using the gifts she'd given them.

"Gray-ni, guess what? Mommy's wearing her Christmas present today!" she said, rather loudly.

Gray winced again. The kid had a good set of lungs.

" _Not so loud, Sprite. Please!... What Christmas present?"_ He asked, unaware that he's the one who'd helped her pick it out.

 _"_ The compass, Silly!"

 _"... The compass."_ Not much help, there.

"Yeah! She put my picture in it, too!"

 _"I'm sure it's beautiful."_ He tried to hide another wince. Still too loud.

Now Asuka looked curious. She climbed off Gray's knee so she could get a better look... Nope. No chain anywhere. She couldn't remember seeing it at all in nearly forever, actually.

"Gray-ni, how come you don't wear you're necklace anymore?" She asked innocently.

Another twinge. He'd wondered about that, too, but just assumed he'd taken it off and lost it like the blind dumbass he was. It's probably just sitting in the house somewhere in plain sight.

" _Not really sure. It's hard for me to find things right now."_

"You didn't lose it. You wanted me to hold onto it for safe keeping. You were afraid you'd misplace it otherwise," said Erza.

Another twinge, right behind his eyes, but he was getting used to hiding his discomfort by now. The memory flashes came and went so quickly, he couldn't even acknowledge that they'd been there at all. He was also relieved that he hadn't really lost his necklace, and was grateful that Erza had kept it for him.

"I have it with me, if you want it back now," she offered, reaching underneath her shirt to pull out the crossed-shaped pendant.

This time, he couldn't hide the furrow in his brow, or his quick intake of breath as he stifled a curse. But he pushed it aside, simply nodding at the few inquiries concerning if he was alright. It didn't make sense to him, why he had such a strong urge to decline, because he couldn't imagine why he wouldn't want his keepsake back.

He hadn't notice he'd closed his eyes, opening them to look towards Erza as he said, " _Yeah, thank you for keeping it safe."_

He held out his hand, waiting as Erza removed the necklace from around her neck and reached across the table to give it to him.

"It must be very precious to you," she said as the pendant dangled over his palm.

Just as the cool silver was touching his fingers, Gray replied, " _It is. It belonged to my m_ —"

...

...

...

* * *

**_Get ready for some major angst coming up. And the suspense slowly builds after this chapter._ ** **_Next chapter: Floodgates are opened_ **


	35. Dissonance Part 4

Asuka was very upset. She hadn't meant to cause trouble, even if everyone said she'd done nothing wrong. No one was at fault really. It was more a lapse in judgment than outright negligence that no one had told her about Gray's memory loss, nor his new tendency to violently lash out at unpredictable provocations. She stood with her mom now, who kept apologizing, saying she "hadn't meant to do it." That it was instinct. And it had been. A mother protects her child.

They could only watch as everyone either tried to help, or stayed out of the way. But most of Asuka's attention was on her Gray-ni, as he kneeled beside the overturned table, bracing one hand against it to stay upright while grabbing at his head like it was about to burst.

People were yelling and causing an uproar. They didn't realize they were adding to the problem. Gray was screaming again, veins noticeably pronounced against his too pale skin, eyes red with tears as pain overwhelmed him. If he could actually make a sound, Asuka was sure his screams would be louder than everyone else's.

"Please, everyone! Calm down. The noise is making it worse!" Lucy cried desperately.

"Everyone SHUT UP!" screamed Natsu. People started to quiet down, but there was still a nervous droning of concerned voices throughout the guild.

"Gray-san, can you tell me what's happening? Can you hear me?" Wendy asked frantically.

"Is Porlyusica on the way?" asked Lyon.

"I sent Happy to get her. Ice Block, come on, say something! What's going on in there?" Natsu wondered.

"This the the worse I've seen. Have they ever been this bad before?" asked Erza.

"No, never," answered Lyon, "This is something completely different."

Lyon and Natsu were standing close to Gray, both afraid to touch him again, as he'd reacted violently the last time one of them tried.

Gray's eyes shot open, his head shifting back and forth, as if searching for something, or seeing a great many somethings? His breathing rate increased, his shirt soaked in sweat to where you could see the dressings and scars through the silk. Looks of hopelessness and primal fear appeared on his face, but they soon gave way to anger, then rage.

Something was happening.

He dropped his hands, falling forward to catch himself now that he'd let go of the table. He forced himself to kneel upright, just long enough to bring his hands together.

Lucy didn't know what he was thinking, or seeing. Whether it was a very realistic hallucination, or a flashback, or if his body just reacted on its own, but she knew what he was about to do.

"No! Gray, don't do it! Natsu, get Freed! Hurry!"

He didn't even ask for what reason as he ran to the Archives.

"Lucy, what—?" asked Lyon.

"He's trying to activate his demon slayer powers!

ooooo

( _several minutes before_ )

As soon as the necklace touched his hand, Erza new something was wrong. Even she could tell he had been about to say "mom," when he'd abruptly stopped, bringing both hands up to grasp his head in pain, the necklace clattering to the table top, forgotten. He was gasping breathlessly, his eyes shut tightly, his body trembling.

His friends all stood up, coming around to his side of the table, crowding him, each understanding that this was worse than his usual headaches. This was the first time Asuka had witnessed one of these kinds of episodes, and she couldn't understand what was happening, was at a loss for what to do. Usually he'd just go very still for several moments, or fall asleep but not, which was still kind of confusing to her, but that's how her mommy explained it. But in either case, he was often either afraid or just very tired. And sad. But she wasn't used to seeing him like this. Bisca was also worried, and stayed to offer any assistance they would need.

"Gray-ni, what's wrong? Does your head hurt? Are you gonna be okay? Why won't you answer?" She kept asking these things, and more, to him and to the rest of his team, growing more scared when no one would answer. Because they too were trying to get answers of their own.

Meanwhile, Gray was lost, constantly having his attention forcibly shifted between what was happening out there, and what was going on within. He kept seeing flashes of... many things, hearing snatches of words and phrases, feeling phantom touches and sensations. It was too much, too fast, too soon. He couldn't handle so much stimulation at once.

_**The floor and walls glowed a malicious shade of red** _

_**...** _

_**He flinched, and started a renewed but fruitless effort to break his bindings. If only he could see what was happening** _

_**...** _

_**"...you'll still be th...the pathetic old man...hiding behind a corpse!"** _

_'It's too loud.'_

_... **The cold. But cold was good for pain. Wasn't it?**_

_**...** _

_**The smell of death permeated the air.**_ **... _It was her voice that tormented his mind as she sliced into his flesh._**

_..._

_’Please, let me go back...'_

_..._

_**It had looked too human, but it was indeed a monster.** _

**...**

**_It was her face he last saw, before she burned his eyes away._ **

_‘... back... back to where?... I don't... No... It was...'_.

...

**_but he could do nothing as the taste of decay and ash suddenly filled his mouth_ **

'... to where it was quiet...'

...

**_"We're already dying! I won't let my friends die and do NOTHING!"_**

**_..._ **

**_In moments, he'd be dead, burnt beyond recognition._ **

'... _It was so peaceful there... so warm...'_

_..._

_... **Her hands that tore away his guild mark and tossed it aside like garbage**_

**_..._**

**_"You can...take my magic... my eyes, my ears...my freaking tongue!_ **

"Hey, does he need help?"

...

_**His body tensed, and he grabbed onto Lyon's shirt, burying his head into his brother's neck, his chest heaving..**._

"I'll go get Master!"

...

**_His screams could hardly make it passed the mass of writhing darkness driving itself deeper..._ **

"Everyone stand back! Give'em some space!"

"Gray-ni! It's gonna be okay! Why won't to say something?!"

The flashes kept coming and going, not giving him enough time to comprehend what they were, or what they could mean, before disappearing; a never ending parade of faces, emotions, events. There and gone. The noise wouldn't stop. The pain kept rising. It was like something was trying to escape, but his mind was fighting against it.

But some of the memories were remaining.

And they were horrifying.

There were too many people, too many voices, too much noise.

"Gray-ni!"

The noise wouldn't stop.

"Come on, man. Say something!"

It wouldn't stop!

"Gray-san, please!"

 **It wouldn't stop**!

A stunned silence came over the guild hall, brought about by the shockingly loud sound of a crash, as Gray suddenly stood, violently upending the table, spilling drinks and knocking over chairs as well.

" _STOP IT! JUST MAKE IT STOP! MAKE THE NOISE GO AWAY! MAKE IT ALL GO AWAY! JUST STOP TALKING, ALL OF YOU! SHUT THE HELL UP!"_

He gestured fiercely and "yelled," wanting no mistake in what he wanted from them.

Asuka was beyond shocked. She was paralyzed with fright. Her Gray-ni had never yelled at her, or been so scary to her, before.

Bisca, knowing so little Gesture Speak compared to her daughter, saw only Asuka's fear, and reacted in anger. Out of reflex, she pulled her away, and viciously slapped Gray across the face, the clattering of his sunglasses skittering across the floor sounding uncomfortably loud in the uneasy silence that still fell upon the guild. She immediately regretted her actions, covering her mouth in unbelief at what she'd just done. She didn't have time to apologize, because his response was just as immediate.

He screamed, stumbling back, away from a terror he couldn't understand, tripping and falling against the upended table, grabbing his head as the pain rose exponentially. It was like a dam had burst, and more images poured out.

More memories.

Every one of them.

They kept coming, all at once.

Coming, but not going.

A deluge of fears, pain, regrets, anger.

He was drowning.

ooooo

( _now_ )

His mind was shutting down.

He was losing control over his own body as instinct took hold.

**_The corridor was absolutely black with shadow, Shades as far as they could see._ **

The only thing that mattered was that danger was near.

They were almost through!

His body reacted.

ooooo

Lyon about had a heart attack when he heard Lucy's words, and tried to stop Gray from following through. Before he could reach him, however, Gray's body bent upright, and he threw his head back, releasing a silent cry that looked more like a howl, as the seal could be seen glowing beneath his shirt. He fell back, Lyon catching him so his body lay across his lap, bracing him as he struggled. Gray tried to endure the power flowing through him, barely able to take in air to scream again. Lyon held him firmly, restraining his arms so he couldn't smash them against the floor.

Natsu returned, Freed and Levy close behind. Without a word, Levy put on her gale force reading glasses as Freed ripped Gray's shirt open, revealing the glowing seals for everyone to see. They both saw the seals were doing the job they were designed for, analyzing with keen eyes that moved back and forth across every sigil. They didn't glow uniformly; the light that was emitted shimmered and waved throughout the seal, seemingly alive and willful. Many of the witnesses shuddered at the mere sight of it, unable to imagine what it must be doing to him.

Lucy prayed fervently that his skin wouldn't turn black, that his eyes and blood vessels wouldn't take on that eerie glow, that bruises wouldn't start blooming all across his skin from the vessels rupturing. So far, it didn't look like he'd tried to fight through the seal. She feared he wouldn't survive another attempt.

Gray's struggles were weakening, not because the seal was releasing him, but because his own body was giving out, growing too weak to fight. He wouldn't be able to hold out for much longer. Porlyusica finally arrived, merely having to glare to get people out of her way. She was just in time to observe the seals as well. Freed hesitantly raised his fingers to brush against the runes, feeling a heat he did not expect to feel. It didn't seem to react to his touch. The rest of the team were each ready to throw their own respective fits at the lack of action from the people who were supposed to be helping.

"What the hell are you just standing around for?! Do something!"

"Natsu."

They all turned to see Makarov had arrived, and he was watching with a grim expression as the others worked.

"They're doing what needs to be done. Have patience," he said.

"We can't do anything until the seal runs its course. Now be quiet and let them concentrate!" snapped Porlyusica.

Erza went up to Lucy so she could quietly ask, "Concentrate on what? What are they doing?"

Before Lucy could try to guess, Gray gave a relieved shudder as the glowing seal started to fade, releasing him from its hold. He laid there limply, breathing harshly but shallowly, head lolling to the side and eyes half closed. But he was still conscious. Lyon released his arms, which fell without strength to the floor. There were flakes of blood on his fingertips, evidence of how hard he'd been gripping his head.

All the spectators were silent, no one sure what to say or do.

As Porlyusica and Wendy kneeled down to check him over, Freed and Levy rose, Levy removing her glasses and taking down notes at a fast rate, muttering to herself as she went. Freed took the opportunity to borrow her com lacrima to take an updated photo of the now scarred-over seals. He tried not to feel guilty of taking advantage of the situation. This would only help Gray in the end. He moved to stand beside Levy, pondering and mentally categorizing everything he'd been able to observe.

Knowing both healers would be too focused on their tasks to give a crap about their curiosities, the rest of the team approached Freed and Levy for answers.

"Why the Hell did you just stand there? I thought you were rune experts. You couldn't do anything?!" asked Natsu.

"Natsu, calm down. It was my idea to call them. I wasn't even sure if they could help, but they were the first people I thought of..." said Lucy.

"And they weren't just standing there. Levy," said Erza, "did you guys find anything?"

Still writing things down, she looked up briefly to give a quick, apologetic frown and a shrug, before going back to her notes. Freed answered for her.

"I hate that this happened, but it may be beneficial in the long run. We've been at an impasse for the last few weeks, and were actually considering a request for a demonstration of the seal's activation. We didn't want to put Gray in danger, though, so we decided to save that option for a last ditch effort. It's good you summoned us. This was an opportunity we couldn't afford to miss. Now that we've had a chance to witness it in action, we can analyze what we've seen and add the data to what we've been able to gather so far. Hopefully, we're now one step closer to removing those seals."

"That's good to hear. We'll leave you to your work then," Erza replied. Turning to the others, her face became more somber as she said, "I'm sorry. I should have thought before I offered him that necklace. Something about it caused this strong reaction. I knew he was reluctant to have it returned before, but with the way he was, I thought it'd be fine." She couldn't hide her remorse as she eyed the necklace she had retrieved from where it had fallen.

"... He was about to say it was his mom's," Natsu chimed in.

"His headaches have been getting worse everyday. I guess getting the necklace back, and being reminded of his mom, plus that unexpected... contact... from Bisca, along with everything else, must have been too much for him to handle," said Lucy.

"What do you think you're doing? You need to lie still!" fussed Porlyusica.

They turned to see Gray, having rolled to his knees, trying and failing to stand. He reached out towards Lyon, who at first tried to make him lie down again, but he pulled his hands away and roughly gestured to be taken home, or he'd go on his own. Though he didn't look like he could even make it to the door on his own, Lyon wouldn't put it pass him to hurt himself trying. Looking to Porlyusica, she huffed and nodded, grumbling under her breath about stupid, stubborn humans.

Lyon pulled Gray's arm over his shoulder and helped him stand. He needed a lot of help supporting his weight. He held his other hand against his stomach, trying to ease the still lingering waves of discomfort there, and waited until he breathed through a dizzy spell, before nodding his permission to start walking. Lyon knew by his weak, stumbling gate that he'd be hiring a carriage to take them home as soon as they got out the door. Porlyusica and Wendy readied to follow.

"Gray, where the hell do you think you're going. You need to get your ass to the infirmary!" yelled Natsu.

Gray ignored him, continuing his slow shuffle to the door without pause. As he was approaching them, Erza spoke up.

"Natsu's right. You're in no condition to move right now. Come. We'll help you—"

" _You've helped enough. Leave me the f*ck alone."_

Natsu was too shocked to repeat to the others what Gray had said, but the look of contempt and malice on his face was loud and clear.

He wanted nothing to do with them, and by his leave, they could all go screw themselves.

Erza was about to insist when Wendy cleared her throat, gaining her attention. She stayed behind as Gray and the others passed, turning towards the rest of the team.

Quietly, she told them, "He remembers, now. Everything. Including what happened just before his heart gave out. He's not very happy with us right now."

"I told him it was me who told you about... her," said Makarov as he joined their discussion, "He was deeply upset, and eager to leave. He said he couldn't be here, in this place filled with too many listening ears and whispering tongues."

Neither of them knew what to think of this situation. It was a relief that he got his memories back at last, but now they'd finally have to deal with the consequences of their ill-conceived intervention. There's no telling what he must be feeling right now.

"Gray-ni?"

They turned to see Asuka and Bisca standing before Gray. Bisca had already apologized for slapping him, which he'd brushed off, and was about to continue on his way when he heard Asuka call him.

"I'm sorry for being so noisy, and for making you remember scary things. I didn't mean for you to get hurt. Are you still sad?"

His face softened, and he freed his arm from Lyons grasp, allowing him to keep him steady as he gestured, " _I'm sorry I scared you. You weren't the one I was upset with. I never meant to hurt you._ " With that, he gently reached out to pat her head, before letting Lyon take his arm again, leading him out the door.

"Porlyusica and Wendy will take care of him. I want you all to give him some space for now. Let him try to settle his own thoughts and emotions. I'm sure he's very confused and heartbroken, and is having trouble trusting anyone right now. The only reason he's allowing Lyon to help him is because he was unaware of what you all knew. Just give it time. He's proven to be rather forgiving these past few months. He'll come around."

Makarov could only hope he was right.

* * *

**_Next chapter: Resentment runs deep, and Gray's not so quick to forgive. Also, trigger warning next chapter._ **


	36. Broken Harmony Part 1

**_WARNING: Mentions of unhealthy, extreme coping mechanisms, including cutting, and spiraling into insanity ahead._ **

* * *

Except he wasn't coming around.

A week went by without a word from Lyon. No call. No visit to the guild. Not even so much as a food order had been delivered to Gray's house. It was as if they'd been completely cut off from the world beyond their front door. If it wasn't for the fact that Natsu and Wendy, and surprisingly even Laxus, have been taking turns checking up on them from afar, using their superior senses to gauge what was going on inside, the team would have suspected some sort of foul play was involved and would have crashed into the house days ago.

So when Lucy finally received a call from Lyon, she answered before the first chime had finished sounding on her communications lacrima.

"Lyon! How's Gray? Do you need anything? How can I help?" she asked.

"I need you to send Loke over here to stay for a while. He's the only one Gray will accept. Also, we need to meet. The whole team, somewhere private," he replied.

"I'll send him over right away. Come to my apartment. Loke will tell you how to get here. I'll call the others as well."

Natsu was the first to arrive, Happy using max speed to get there. Lyon met Erza, Wendy, and Carla on the way, but wouldn't say anything about Gray until everyone was together.

"Okay, what's going on?" Lucy asked as soon as she'd closed the door.

"Gray went off his meds four days ago, said they didn't do crap for his pain, so he found something that would. He had a stash of liquor hidden in a cabinet in the dining room. He actually made himself go through withdrawal again, just so he could drink it without worry. I didn't know what he was planning until this morning, when I found him pouring himself another glass. He... he laughed at me... when I got angry. Said it was about time I showed an appropriate response for his behavior."

"This is serious! You let him go through withdrawal?! Without any medical backup?! What were you thinking?!" yelled Erza.

"I didn't know! He somehow managed to hide it from me! The symptoms weren't as extreme as before. With what happened to him recently, I thought the increased anxieties and agitation were just more manifestations of his PTSD. And he's always had nightmares and insomnia. I didn't think it was strange for those to get worse as well!"

Before Natsu could berate him for not seeking them out sooner, Wendy chimed in.

"Lyon-san, have you been sleeping? You look awfully tired."

"Hmph. I can only sleep when he sleeps, now, which is hardly ever. If I do fall asleep while he's awake, then to him, it's like I'm not even there. That first night after his memories returned, I don't even know if he'd ever slept. I found him on the floor the next morning, just coming out of a drift. I try to stay awake with him now, but with his insomnia...

"Plus, even in his darker moods, I can tell he feels guilty over me losing sleep for his sake. But it can't be helped. He's scared to death of being alone, now, but he doesn't trust anyone else to stay with him. He only allowed Loke to come over because he wasn't involved in what happened with you guys. That, and the alcohol put him in a more agreeable mood."

"Do you need to sit down? I can make some coffee," offered Lucy.

"No. Thank you. Standing helps me stay awake. We need to figure something out. Now. He can't keep going like this. It's only been a week, and he's falling apart... I think he's been hallucinating. I've seen him look up in shock sometimes, like he was surprised to see something that wasn't there. Something terrifying. When I asked him about it, he acted like I was mistaken, that he was just thinking about something. But he couldn't disguise the fear I saw. And he's always trying to get my attention, just to make sure I'm still there. Also, I know he was afraid of going into his bedroom, but now he absolutely hates it when _I_ go in there. He acts like I purposely go in there just to avoid him, like there's a physical barrier within the open doorway, separating me from him."

"The first thing we need to do is to get him back on his meds, especially the ones for his heart. They'll help with his anxiety, as well. What he's doing is very dangerous. His heart can't function properly on its own. He's not thinking clearly right now," said Wendy.

"He ain't thinking at all. So let's go over there, force-feed him his meds, and beat some sense into him!" said Natsu.

"You'd better be joking about that," hoped Lyon.

"Hardly. But with the crap he's pulling now, he needs less hand-holding, and more of an ass kicking!"

"What did he mean when he talked about an 'appropriate response'? It sounded like he was glad you were angry," Erza wondered.

"So the jerk was _trying_ to piss you off?" asked Natsu.

"He was probably happy you were finally mad at him," said Lucy _,_ "Think about it. If it wasn't for everything that's happened, how would you usually respond if he provoked you? You'd pick a fight with him, Erza would scold him, Lyon would probably provoke him right back... He's tired of being coddled, I think. He was the same way when he was without his memories. He hates being treated like an invalid and a child."

Wendy responded, "There's no point in getting mad at him. He _isn't_ thinking straight. Because he _can't_. There's no telling how his mind is wired right now, but I don't think he's able to rationalize anymore. Before, he never would've even _considered_ going off his meds so suddenly. He knew how dangerous that would've been. Now? I doubt he realizes he's acting out of character. He won't be able to understand his own motivations. Nor the consequences. He's just reacting, now."

"He _did_ go into his bedroom before," said Natsu out of nowhere.

"What? When?" asked a surprised Lyon.

"You said that he never goes in there, but he did. Some time before Christmas. I never figured out why he went, but he was crying over that old violin for some reason."

"Why would he do that? He told us he didn't even play. Maybe it has sentimental value?" asked Erza.

"I don't think it's that. He wasn't lying about buying it from a pawn shop. There's still an old receipt inside the case. And I think he does play. At least he used to. The strings aren't that old, but they're worn. And the violin itself is well cared for. It hadn't just been sitting around, collecting dust. Did he say anything about it?"

Before Natsu could answer, Virgo appeared.

"Princess, Big Brother sent me to bring you all to Master Gray's house. He says it is very urgent. He especially requires the presence of Lady Wendy."

That didn't bode well

* * *

( _Before)_

_"Loke, nice to see you—"_ Gray paused to consider, then gave a cynical smirk and one of his hissing snickers, before continuing, " _—or not, I guess. I'd offer you a drink, but my babysitter cut me off."_

Loke eyed his friend with worry. Lyon wasn't kidding when he said he'd have his hands full. Gray was currently sitting on the back deck, dangling a piece of string off the side of his chair for Joy to chase around. It was overcast today. Forecasters have been calling for snow, finally. It's been such a dry winter this year. This only made Loke more concerned, since Gray was dressed only in a pair of black drawstring pants and a thin hoodie, which wasn't even zipped up. It was certainly cold enough to snow, so he must have been freezing. Accept he probably couldn't feel it because of the alcohol in his system.

"I didn't think I'd be welcome if I came."

" _Don't be stupid. Cats are always welcomed here,"_ Another snicker _, "Cats are good at keeping secrets. They won't betray you. You promised. That's what you said... You knew... and you never told. You're a good kitty."_

He clicked his tongue, and Joy jumped into his lap, happily receiving his loving attention as he continued.

_"It's your master who's lost her free pass to the castle. The spoiled princess and her entourage, the selfish dragons, and the overbearing knight. I should have known they'd do something like that, you know? In the stories, princesses are always so willful, always demanding what they assume is rightfully theirs. The dragons are hoarders. They're consumed by greed, always gathering, always seeking. Never leaving well enough alone. The knight is a seeker of justice. But always their own brand. A perceived wrong needs to be righted... She never once asked... if the wronged ever wanted it made right."_

As he spoke, he continued to dangle the string before Joy, smiling as he visualized her actions from what he could perceive by her movements on his lap.

Loke wondered, "And who are you in those stories?"

_"The damned knave, of course. The scoundrel. The fool. The f*cking court jester. I'm the character that gets spat on, kicked while he's down, and laughed at for his misery. I think I've played that roll pretty well. Should get a f*cking award."_

_..._

"You're usually much more jovial when you're drunk."

" _I'm usually not a torture victim when I'm drunk. I'll let you know when I'm not one anymore_."

Loke's eyes widened in shock and dismay at how Gray was able to mention his torture so flippantly.

Joy was starting to get tangled in the string.

"It's getting cold out. Why don't we go inside? I think you should eat something, too. You've lost weight."

" _Not if that bitch is still in there."_

Loke knitted his brow. "Who?"

" _My new roommate. She'd moved in quite recently. Or maybe she was always there... Just like the others... Always there..."_

Now Loke understood whom he meant. Very gently, he tried to explain, "Gray, she's not here. I know you think she is, but you must know that's impossible. Your mind is just playing tricks on you right now."

_"It should have been impossible before!... She died... almost twenty f*cking years ago. She never should have been there in the first place. But she was! So don't f*cking tell me what's impossible now!"_

Taking a step back, Loke tried to figure a way to calm him down.

"I know! I'm not belittling what you've seen. But the necromancer is dead. He can't bring her back anymore."

_"Tell that to the f*cker who's always lurking outside my bedroom."_

_"..._ The... your bedroom?... Are you talking about the necr _—"_

_"—Did Lucy tell you I'd died?"_

She hadn't needed to. He was there, that first time his heart had stopped on the train. He had helped along with everyone else, performing CPR during that long ride toIris _. 'But why is he bringing this up? In all this time, he'd never talked about it.'_

Too lost in bad memories and worried thoughts, he hadn't even answered when Gray continued.

_"I woke up one afternoon to find a pair of doctors, fresh out med school, in my hospital room. Guess you all had stepped out while I was sleeping. They were talking about my case, right in front of me. Must've seen me Gesture before, assumed I was deaf. F*cking idiots. Glad I could be such a fascinating spectacle for them. Dumbasses didn't even know how to read the monitors, couldn't tell something was off. They just walked away."_

Loke hadn't heard about that incident _._ Just one of those things not worth bringing up again, he supposed. But he wondered why Gray thought it important to mention now.

_"Don't feel bad. When Natsu returned, he could tell right away something had set me off. Didn't take him long to track them down. I'm sure the whole ward knew how he felt when he confronted them afterwards. But their gossiping had certainly been enlightening. I heard y'all did a bang up job keeping me alive on the train. I only died once with you guys. Appreciate that, by the way. Three times I was dead on the table, before the nice folks at the hospital could get their shit together, and figure out what treatment wouldn't kill me again. If they could bring me back to life_ , without _magic, then the bastard and his bitch can do far worse. Don't you agree?"_

He'd said all that so blatantly _,_ with no sign of unease at the mention of his own deaths, regardless of the short duration of each _,_ that Loke wondered if the notion of dying again even bothered him. Again, his concern ratcheted up another notch. He had to steer this conversation somewhere else.

"...Gray, I can't say I know what you're going through. But I'm here now, and I can be here whenever you need me, for however _long_ you need me. I'm not gonna leave you to face whatever is in there by yourself. Neither will Lyon. Come on. Let's get out of this cold. It's alright. You're not alone."

Loke looked down, noticing how tangled up Joy had gotten.

"Besides, your cat could use some assistance right now."

Gray had noticed Joy getting less and less mobile, and felt along her whole body, finding all but one hind paw bound in string.

" _You silly little minx,"_ he said as she nuzzled his hand, seemingly not too bothered by her own predicament.

"She may need a nap after all that excitement," Loke grinned softly.

" _* **sigh** * You're not wrong... Fine. You win. Just... keep talking or something. Don't go quiet on me," _he practically begged _._

"If you want, I can tell you how my last date with Aries went."

As Loke helped Gray stumble inside, experience told him he'd need to at least get some water in his friend in order to stave off some of the massive hangover he was to look forward to tomorrow. Sitting him on the couch, he went into the kitchen, keeping up a monologue of just how ravishing Aries had looked in the dress Virgo had picked out for her the night before. Just to add some spice to the story, and to maybe get a reaction out of Gray besides the creepy, depression-laced diatribes he's given so far today, he was about to bring up how much he and Aries had both enjoyed his Christmas gift, when he noticed a knife sitting in the drying rack beside the sink.

He paid it little mind at first, as he filled a glass from the faucet, but noticed a small speck of blood that hadn't been cleaned off well enough. Pulling it out, he was about to give it another rinse when he paused, considering what he was seeing. Lyon wouldn't have missed that stain. But if someone who couldn't see had washed it... Also, Lyon had given him the rundown of what's been going on all week before he'd left. He knew for a fact that Gray hadn't been eating, especially meat, which Lyon had been abstaining from as well, just to keep him comfortable. What the hell was this knife used on, then? Upon closer inspection, Loke could tell the blood was still fresh, spilled sometime this morning. Maybe before Lyon even woke up?

Water forgotten, he returned to the dining room, walking back towards the couch, when he noticed Gray's demeanor.

Having gotten Joy untangled, Gray had sat back and waited after releasing her, nursing the slight headache he knew to expect from his drunken pity party earlier, when he heard Loke's voice suddenly stop. He tried not to worry at first. The lion spirit was probably lost in thought of just how "interesting" their Christmas date must had been. But when Loke didn't pick his story back up right away, he started to wonder. His wonder quickly gave way to fear, then to panic. He started reaching for the tally marks on his arm.

Seeing what Gray was doing, Loke immediately announced himself, feeling only a little sorry when he saw how much he'd startled him.

_"Where were you? You promised you wouldn't leave."_

"I didn't go anywhere. Gray... what did you do?"

_"... What the hell are you talking about—"_

"—I found the knife. There was blood on it. What. Did. You. Do?"

Gray looked genuinely confused, like he couldn't see what the big deal was.

_"... The count was off. I had to fix it. But I'm afraid it's still wrong. I can't remember how many times I've drifted, so I just restarted the count from after my memories returned. It seemed right. That's when the bitch returned, after all. I'm up to eleven, now... Lyon hadn't noticed me drifting. Not every time. You're right. He tries to be here. He doesn't want me to be alone... But he's only human. It's selfish of me to expect him to lose sleep over me. Besides, it's not so bad, once the fear disappears. It's so quiet, and warm where I go... But the bitch won't just let me go. It needs to keep count. If I lose count, I might forget... I don't want to forget again... I don't... deserve... to forget again..."_

Loke was really disturbed by where this conversation had gone. He didn't think he was talking about forgetting his count, either. How had Lyon not noticed this obscene descent into madness? Was it too gradual? Was he too tired to have seen the signs? Was Gray just that good at hiding it? He knew he was more than a decent actor. But he wasn't really trying to hide it right now. He didn't see anything wrong with what he's been doing.

Swallowing nervously, he asked, "Can I see?"

Gray sat there, staring off into nothing, either ignoring the question or not having heard it. Or he was considering his answer, as it turned out. He shrugged like it was the simplest of requests, and sat up the best he could, wavering slightly, before gingerly pulling his right arm out of the sleeve of his hoodie.

If he had been in his right mind, he would have been able to anticipate how Loke would have likely reacted. Instead, he was confused and taken aback by his urgent response.

"Shit! Gray, what have you done!?" he yelled as he grabbed his arm, turning it to better see in the light. His arm was messily wrapped in a blood soaked bandage. If he had looked more closely at the sleeve of the hoodie earlier, Loke would have seen the wet sheen of blood even through the black material. He was sure he'd see blood stains along the deck chair outside if he were to check later on. But he _hadn't_ noticed. No one had noticed.

He could tell right away that the most recent wounds had yet to close. He unwrapped the dressing with no resistance from Gray, and gasped at what was revealed. True to his word, there were now eleven tallies total slashed across his forearm instead of the original five. Some showed signs of hesitance, were more shallow. The newer ones were dangerously deep, gaping, with no evidence of restraint in their inflictions. If Gray were to continue unabated...

"Damn it! Hold this here!" He yelled as he waddled up the dressings and placed it over the wounds, grabbing Gray's hand to put on top of it, getting him to hold it in place. He should have realized. He saw the bottles Lyon had tossed away. Most were still full. He hadn't really drunk that much to get as inebriated as he seemed, even while taking his currently low tolerance into account. He'd been bleeding himself all week, and he'd managed to hide it this whole time.

Gray wasn't cooperating, not understanding why Loke had such a problem with his helpful reminders. It wasn't like he enjoyed it. It was actually quite painful, to be honest. All he knew was that, for some reason beyond his ability to comprehend, it was important to keep count of his drifting. At least it had been. It must have been really important. Moms always knew best. It was a universal rule. _She_ must have had a reason. It wasn't important. At the very least, the newer pains helped distract from the many other pains that have gradually made themselves known since he'd given up on his meds. Hmm, maybe they _had_ been helping somewhat. Not all was lost, then. He'd learned something. "A" for effort.

While he was lost in his own thoughts, Loke was trying to further assess the damage. The wounds were warm, the skin red with infection. He couldn't handle this on his own. If only he could pull Gray into the Celestial realm with him, to take him to the infirmary right away.

"I need to call for help. Wendy or Porlyusica."

That snapped him out of his daze, and he wrenched his arm free, flinging drops of blood as he moved. He stood abruptly to push him away, though he swayed more than stood.

_"I don't want them here! Not them, or anyone else from the guild"_

"Listen to me! These are serious wounds. You need stitches, and antibiotics. Hell, for all I know, you probably need a blood transfusion!"

**_"Don't you dare bring those treacherous snakes into my house!"_ **

Loke tried to stay calm. He knew Gray wasn't in his right mind, but this was more than he'd bargained for. Okay, if he couldn't bring their friends over, then how about...

"I'll get Virgo, then. And some water from the Celestial World. That will take care of the infection, at least. Just hang tight. I won't be long—"

" _—Wait! Don't go! **You said you wouldn't leave me!"**_

Loke's heart almost broke at the look of loss and fear on Gray's face, and he felt an irrational sense of guilt over the idea that he was somehow betraying him. He knew he was taking a risk by leaving him alone, but weighed against the other option, of having to wait for Wendy and the others to get here, on top of the very real possibility that Gray would have a total melt down and hurt himself even more if they did show themselves, then retrieving Virgo was the best option. It was also the quickest one, as well. He really wouldn't be gone that long.

"I'm sorry. More than you can know. But you need help. I promise, I'll be right back. I swear."

Loke was gone before he could witness Gray's anguished response...

* * *

**_Next chapter: The team discovers the true depths of Gray's sorrow._ **

* * *


	37. Broken Harmony Part 2

When they got to the house, Loke was frantic with worry. He was waiting at the threshold of the dining room, dividing his attention between the front door and Gray, visibly sighing in relief at the sight of his friends' arrival.

Lucy went straight for her spirit while the others went to see to Gray. Before she could even ask Loke how he was doing, they were interrupted by Natsu's indignant shout.

"What the hell is he tied down for?!"

"Loke, what's the meaning of this?" cried Lyon as he started trying to loosen the ropes.

"You didn't tell them what happened?!" Loke asked Virgo incredulously.

"They were more concerned with getting here quickly than for the reason of your summons," she calmly replied.

Wendy was studying Gray with a critical eye, noting the watered down blood pooling below him, and the now familiar calmness of his features, which was contradicted by the sheen of sweat on his skin and the taint of fear that still clung to his scent. He was tied upright in one of the dining room chairs, hands bound to his sides, attached to each back leg. His wrists were already bruised and bleeding from his earlier struggles to free himself.

"He's drifting," she said as Erza cut the ropes loose.

"Gee, I wonder why?" said Natsu.

"Loke, what happened? You know how he reacts to being restrained. Why..." Lucy trailed off, knowing her spirit must have had good cause for resorting to this measure.

"I had to leave to get Virgo—"

"—You left him _alone?!"_ cried Lyon.

"I _had_ to! He needed help, but he wouldn't allow anyone else to come! I wasn't even gone that long. I didn't expect him to spiral out of control so quickly. You never told me he was having a nervous breakdown! Look at his arm! All this week, didn't you notice?! He does that _every_ time he _drifts_!"

Their attention drawn to the arm that Wendy was now turning over, they each reacted in their own ways to the horror they felt, as they looked upon those ghastly marks, and thought of the implications behind them.

_"... **Every time!... She sliced these damned things into my arm... every time she forced me awake... to keep a f*cking count!"**_

"Oh, Gray. No..." Lucy said in shock.

"My God. I had no idea. How was he able to hide those?" lamented Lyon.

"He implied that something would happen every time you fell asleep. When we returned, he was screaming in terror at something that wasn't even there. He fought us off when we tried to help, and his wounds were reopening. He was hurting himself. We _had_ to restrain him _._ I just managed to get him seated long enough for Virgo to tie him down. He went absolutely batshit afterwards. That's when I sent Virgo to get you all while I stayed to try to talk some sense into him. He finally started drifting. At least I could treat the wounds, then. They were infected. I cleaned them with water from the Celestial Realm. He's been out ever since."

Natsu and Erza moved Gray to the couch while Wendy asked Carla to retrieve a suture kit from the first aid supplies. Virgo took it upon herself to clean up the mess left on the floor. Afterwards, Lucy sent her home with much appreciation for her help today. Loke opted to stay until this issue was resolved, one way or another.

Wendy had finished the last stitch, and was wrapping Gray's arm in fresh dressings, when he began to stir.

"Everyone back away," Lyon quietly requested.

His return to awareness was more dramatic than they were used to. His eyes shot open and he gasped, arms coming down to push himself up, only to be stopped when Lyon held him down. That had been his plan at least. The fatigue must have slowed Lyon's reflexes, as he soon found himself on the floor with a fractured eye socket before he even noticed the pain. Everyone's cries of alarm merely alerted Gray that he was surrounded , but not by whom. He scrambled to his feet, fighting the sudden onset of nausea and vertigo. He slapped Loke's hand away when he tried to steady him, and stumbled into the living room, stopping short as if he'd almost crashed into an invisible barrier. They thought it strange when he seemed to skirt around that area, until he bumped against the corner of the desk and stayed there, leaning against it, arms crossed as if he were trying to hold himself together.

While Wendy used her powers to heal Lyon's eye, the rest of the team kept Gray surrounded, but at a distance, hoping he wouldn't try to flee, not that he'd get very far under his own power. For some reason, he seemed to avoid looking at that particular spot again, every once in a while directing his gaze there, only to turn away, fear ever present in his eyes. He kept his guard up against the presences he could sense around him, but he was constantly vigilant against _It._

Natsu could tell he was panicking, but from what he wasn't sure, though he did suspect. Gray wasn't saying anything, as if he was trying not to draw attention to himself. He was acting like a frightened rabbit who knew he was being stalked by apex predators. He was cornered, and he knew it. His breathing was becoming more erratic, and Natsu could hear his heart beating uncontrollably. Without his medicine to slow is heart rate and ease his stress, he was experiencing the full weight of his anxieties. Whatever happened, they had to avoid anything that could trigger a reaction that might threaten his heart again.

Natsu brought his finger to his lips, signaling the girls to keep quiet. That's one possible trigger down. He had to be careful not to activate his powers for any reason, as well. Even the heat could set him off. Gray kept shifting his head around, as if he was trying to hear what had him cornered. Perhaps he couldn't help himself, because he once again glanced at that one spot that he kept trying to avoid. His anxiety was increasing. Was he... was he crying? He grabbed his head and started shaking it in denial, closing his eyes as if that would make the illusion go away. He finally started talking, and Natsu wasn't surprised by his words.

_"No! Not her. It's not her!"_

Natsu had been right. Everything pointed to the possibility that he'd been seeing his mom here. He felt sickened at the thought that Gray was in this state because of what they'd done. They should have waited, or thought of a more gentle way to bring her up, or... anything! He was never ready to face this, but now he had no choice, and neither did they.

Lyon stepped up, still rubbing and blinking his eye to get it to focus, before readying himself for whatever would happen next.

Calmly, softly, speaking as clearly and gently as he could, Lyon said, "Gray, it's okay. I'm sorry I left you, but I'm here now. I won't let anything hurt you."

_"Lyon? You're here?... You... you came back?"_

Gray looked so pitiful just then, keeping his hands closer to his body than he normally would as he gestured, his motions shaky and unsure. Did he actually believe he'd been abandoned?

"I'm sorry I took so long. I needed some help," he answered, bracing for the anger, "... so a brought your team with me."

 _"No... No! You f*cking bastard! Why did you bring them here?!"_ His motions were no longer so closed off.

"They're your friends. They only want to help."

"They _brought that_ thing _here! They had NO right to invite it in, but they opened the door, and I could never close it again! I was doing fine! I was getting better! Why?! Why did they have to force it into my thoughts again?! I had it locked away, where it couldn't find me. I was functioning! I was making it work! Why the Hell couldn't that be enough for them?!"_

"Because you _weren't_ getting better! _"_ Lucy tearfully yelled, the only one in their team who understood all he'd said, as he'd only gestured this time, only wanting to talk to Lyon. "That secret pain was weighing you down, preventing you from healing completely. You needed to face what happened, but you refused to talk about it, not even with your best friends. I know we've made mistakes, and bringing up your mother was —"

 _"—That_ thing _was NEVER my mother!"_

Without missing a beat, she continued, "—the worse of them. I know we've lost your trust. Again! But you've known some of us since childhood. You must know, deep down, that we would never purposely hurt you. We are so sorry for making you face this before you were ready. We never meant to hurt you. But if you're ever going to get through this, you have to confront whatever is making you so scared!"

 _"But I_ want _to forget! Why can't you understand that? I never wanted to ever have to think about that thing again!"_

"But you _were_ thinking about her," added Loke, "I think you've thought about her, or at least what she'd done, every single day. There's no possible way you could have gone one day without being reminded of what that thing did to you. You told us yourself, about the pain you still live with, and of the scars you bear. She's been haunting you, hasn't she? Just like the necromancer... Always there... But unlike the lurker in your bedroom, you'd managed to suppress _her_ image from your mind, hadn't you? Until we forced you to remember her, to always see her now... Gray, you're the only one who can tell us what's really going on. You don't want to be alone, so please, stop pushing us away. Let us help you."

Gray tried to put some distance between him and them, until he tripped on the rug, landing amidst the furniture. He didn't bother trying to stand up again, but pulled himself against the ottoman, leaning against its sturdy frame, pulling his knees in, trying to make himself smaller. He was shaking his head no, and his gestures became shaky, hesitant.

" _Stop..."_

"We won't stop. We couldn't possibly stop, knowing that doing so would keep you caged and tormented. Please... let us share your pain," Erza pleaded.

_"... please... just stop..."_

_"_ Never!" cried Natsu, "Yeah, we blew it, big time. We shouldn't have forced those painful memories on you. But it's too late to turn back. The secret's out, and it's killing you. It's _killing_ you, Gray! I still don't understand all this crap about post trauma whatevers, or psycho-some-active pains, or how your own brain can sabotage you; but I can tell it's not gonna let you go unless you fight it with everything you've got. Use _everything,_ including your friends! You've always had us, to fight with you and for you. It doesn't have to be just your fight! We never saw it that way! Just let us in!"

He was trembling and gritting his teeth now, desperately trying to hold onto the control he never really had, his emotions finally taking hold as he fought back tears.

_"... Please... I... I can't..."_

It was tearing them all up inside to see him fall apart like this, but if it resulted in his walls falling down as well, they had to keep going. They were almost through. Just a little deeper, a little further.

"It's going to be okay," said Wendy, stepping out of her comfort zone once more, trying to bring relief in a way she wasn't used to. Healing physical damage was so easy for her, compared to easing emotional wounds. "We've heard you. We know, and understand. That thing that hurt you, it wasn't your mom. It never was. We believe you. I can't imagine what that must have been like, and it must have been so hard to keep it together while you were still a prisoner. But you made it out of there, and you always stayed strong, and never believed the lies they told you. You did that! All on your own. They couldn't break you. Please. You've done your part. You survived. You don't have to keep fighting this on your own."

_"... I..."_

He could no longer talk, just tried to hide himself away, covering his head with his arms, trying to make the noise stop, gasping and trembling in his anguish. He wanted to believe them. Fear stood in his way. Fear of his ghosts. Fear of himself. Fear of what he'd become. Fear of even his loved ones. But beyond his fear grew a seed of anger that had also been sown so long ago. It's had many opportunities to cultivate over the last few months. Little incidents here, larger ones there. One sting of disappointment, frustration, or betrayal after another. He feared his anger. And he was angry at his fear. He was always trapped.

Lyon approached, kneeling before him, not too close, but close enough to where he could speak gently, hoping to sooth him with quiet words and his presence alone.

"Gray, please... just listen. We're sorry. About everything we've done. About everything you've gone through. Not a day goes by without me wondering what we could have done differently, or what if something else had happened, in order to prevent any of this from ever taking place. But you have to move forward, now. We all do. I know you hold strongly to the belief that the past belongs in the past. That you must face your fears, and not let sadness keep you from moving on. It's okay to move on... Please, let us help you let go. Tell us why you're so scared. What are you so afraid of?"

He was shaking, sobbing, breaking before their eyes. He could have been talking for all they knew, but with his face covered, his arms locked around his head, they couldn't tell.

Natsu kneeled next to Lyon, hoping his closeness wouldn't set him off again, that he was more receptive to having them there now.

"Come on, Ice Block. It's okay. We'll help you carry this burden. You don't have to bear it alone anymore."

Everyone stayed where they were, daring not to move, hardly breathing, simply waiting. There really wasn't much more they could say. It was all on him now.

Minutes passed, with nothing but the sounds of sniffling and gasping, with the occasional creak from the ottoman that he still leaned against, all seemingly punctuated by the rhythmic ticking from the mantle clock. After several minutes more, he seemed to calm down by degrees, and he timidly brought his hands down. His eyes were red, and still leaking tears, his hair disheveled, and his body shook as he tried to control his shuddering breaths.

He took several more minutes to gather himself, receiving all the time he needed. No one would rush him in this. Finally, using gestures and mouthing alike, so he wouldn't be interrupted by interpretations, he spoke.

 _"...I know... I know I've said... that_ It _was never my mom... And I believed it... Oh, God, I've always believed it. Every moment I was in that chamber, I never once doubted who was really... torturing me... I know it wasn't her. It_ wasn't!..."

Everyone sat or took a knee now, wanting to be as close as they could while still giving him space.

 _"I know... it wasn't... but... but it_ was! *sob* ... _It was her face... her voice... her hands... I know it wasn't her, but it_ was _her! It was!... But it wasn't!... And I don't... understand... why it's so hard to separate them!... Why I can't just_ KNOW, _and that'd be enough. And I'm so confused, and scared... and pissed off at myself for being so scared..._

 _"... l never... I never forgot my mother's face... She... she was so beautiful... so soft, and kind... She always smiled... even when she was sad, she'd hide her sadness behind the most beautiful smile... That smile was the last one she ever gave me... before she was killed... But now I can't see that smile... without seeing something sinister behind it... My last memory of her... of her smile as she pushed me out of the way... was replaced... Now it's_ that _face... That heartless face is the last thing I ever saw... before she... she... Oh my God..._ *sob*

His friends were mesmerized and grief stricken. This was truly what he'd been holding onto this whole time?

 _"Her voice... it... I... can't... I couldn't... remember her voice... My mom's voice... I wanted to cry, when I realized I'd finally heard it again... For just a moment... I was grateful... Because it was_ hers _..._ her _voice... I was happy to hear it again... But now, I just wish I could forget!_

He tried so hard to keep going, to not break down as he tried to get through this. He gritted his teeth once more, tried to breathe deeply to deny another sob, and continued.

 _"She acted like she cared!... She forced me... to use my powers... until there was nothing left... until I couldn't protect myself... I couldn't breathe, couldn't think... I thought I screamed, but I couldn't hear... the pain was too much... too much... and I couldn't fight... couldn't make it stop... couldn't make_ her _stop..._

_"... She...she won't stop singing... even now... that song... humming and singing... she won't ... stop... Stop!... Stop singing!"_

He stopped talking, once again wrapping his arms around his head, trying to stop the noise. Natsu got up close, tentatively raising his hand to Gray's arm, reminding him that he wasn't alone.

"Gray?" Lyon spoke up, "We can stop if you need to..."

"*sob* _I hate her,"_ he finally gestured shakily.

"You... you have every right to," said Lucy, "what she did was—"

_"No! I hate HER! I'm scared to death of HER. My mom... My REAL MOM!..."_

At that shocking revelation, Wendy started to cry, hugging Carla close as she tried to stifle her sobs. Loke handed Lucy a kerchief for her own tears, while Erza did an admiral job of controlling her rage at finally discovering the full extent of the damage her friend had suffered.

_"You... you keep saying that I beat them, that I didn't break... but something in me did... They told so many lies... tried to manipulate my thoughts... tried so hard... to make me hate my father... but they... that BITCH... she made me hate HER... my own mother!... And I hate myself for feeling this way!... She... she loved me... She DIED for me... and I can't picture her in my head anymore, without wanting to throw up, or scream, or rage at something... They took her away from me, and replaced her with a monster that I can't unsee... I can't separate them! And I'm so pissed off... that I can't stop hating her... but... I can't... make myself stop loving her, either..."_

He started crying in anguish now, and Natsu wrapped him in a tight embrace, just held him as he cried and screamed. No one could deny the tears as they fell from their own eyes. They were heartbroken. This was far more than anyone had ever dreaded.

Wendy especially was saddened. She thought she had a way to help, but would it really? Should she bring it up? Should she ask the others what they thought first? She and Porlyusica both had worked tirelessly over the last month, researching and perfecting the Milky Way spell to work on human souls. But they hadn't tested it yet. Who could they test it on? Would Gray even want to try? Could she find the courage to even ask him? Just as she'd learned, she didn't want to get his hopes up, only to fail.

All she could do, all any of them could do, was to be there for him. That's really all they've ever been able to do. They still felt deep down like they could and should be doing more. But to Gray, simply being there had always been enough.

* * *

...

...

... It was so potent... so perfect...

...

... This fear... despair... anger... hate...

...

... beyond sorrow

...

... the embodiment of curses

...

...

... soon...

* * *

**_So it wasn't just the fear. There was also the helplessness of not being able to fight back, and the overwhelming guilt at his feelings of hatred towards his real mom. He still loves her, but that love compounds the pain for him, and he can't remember why he loves her. He's tried. He's gotten to the point where he thinks it would just be easier if he could erase that love, to make the hate easier to bear. but he cant do that either. Like his own personal curse of contradictions._ **

**_Next chapter: Wendy makes her offer. And Lyon and Natsu put some clues together, and come to a realization._ **


	38. Broken Harmony Part 3

**_Just a little cool down chapter, to resolve a few things, and to reveal to the team some mysteries they hadn't yet known action returns very soon._ **

**_I'd like to give a shout out to my unnamed Guest reviewer(s). I'm not even sure if there are more than one. But I certainly wouldn't want to leave any of you out. Thank you for your awesome reviews. Also to Panditas and Maraman. Everyone of your feedbacks move me to get these chapters out. I'm so happy my humble story could touch you all in whatever way it did. Things are going to get pretty hectic in the coming chapters. Enjoy the calm while it lasts._ **

* * *

Throughout the afternoon, each member within their group of friends had given themselves a task. Loke had indeed found blood on the deck chair outside, and had taken care of it right away.

After depositing Gray into his favorite arm chair, Lyon was forced to take a power nap while Natsu and Happy set to work straightening out the dining room. For a blind, pain-wracked, intoxicated man suffering from blood loss, he'd put up an admirable struggle.

Lucy and Erza had gone to the market to stock up the dwindling groceries, Lyon never having had the chance to do so himself that week. They would be back soon with dinner, as well, of which they would force Gray to eat if they had too. It would help with his blood loss, and Wendy was insistent that he go back on his meds right away. Wendy, meanwhile, devoted all her attention on Gray.

Even though he was clearly beyond exhausted, he couldn't fall asleep. He knew the signs of encroaching insomnia, and didn't bother trying to make the short trip to the couch to lie down, as it would be a wasted effort. Fine by Wendy. If he wasn't going to sleep, then he could eat sooner, and then finally take his meds. She knew that being off sleep aids the last few days would have made his body more susceptible to them, so for at least tonight, they would help. For now, she was coaxing him to drink as much water as he could, in order to flush out whatever was left of the alcohol in his system. After learning how much he'd actually had to drink, she knew most of it would have metabolized by now.

He'd calmed down considerably in the last few hours. Joy was currently purring in his lap, while he idly sipped at his second glass of water, periodically stirring it with his finger. Though probably not very hygienic (he was just petting a cat after all), she certainly couldn't fault the comfort she knew it brought him. She studied him, trying to gauge his mental state, to anticipate how he was going to respond to what she had finally talked herself into doing. She had to do it now. If not, she thought she'd never work up the nerve again. It was just him and her. She would put out the suggestion, and let him decide. Simple as that—

 **SNAP** *

She jumped at his sudden attention grabber. How had he known she'd been staring?

_"Have you psyched yourself up yet?"_

"I'm sorry, I was... I mean, yes, I was just about too... I mean—"

 _"Just say it,"_ he said tiredly as he placed his glass down, shooing Joy away as well. May as well give her his undivided attention, if this was so important to her. " _You've been oddly quiet since you came over here. I promise I won't fall into hysterics, whatever it is."_

"That remains to be seen," she said, taking a deep breath before slowly letting it out. Here goes, "Listen, I've been working on a new spell; well, not really a new one. It's actually an upgrade to a really old spell. Remember Milky Way? It's that spell I used to contact Zirconis in that dragon grave yard. The Jade Dragon."

_"I remember."_

"Yes, well, I've been thinking about it for a really long time, and after working out some details and consulting with Porlyusica-san, I think I may have come up with a way to use that spell to... maybe... I mean, it's all up to you. You don't have to do it... even though I think it would really help you in the long run— not that I'm presuming to know what's best for you, and I really want you to be one hundred percent okay with it—"

She was so shocked by his tightly grabbing her hand, she almost forgot what she'd been rambling about. But apparently, he understood exactly where she was taking this, judging by the stricken look on his face.

_"Don't."_

"But, Gray... I really think that, if you could just be given a chance to talk with her—"

 _"Please!"_ He begged, squeezing her hand just a bit tighter. She noticed now the slight quiver to his lips, the trembling in his hand, and turned her hand over to grasp his in a silent apology. She understood. Simply thinking about his mom made his heart sink, and she could tell he was trying so hard to keep his promise of staying calm.

"Okay. I'm sorry. I won't bring it up again... But if you ever feel like you're ready to try, I'll always be willing to help you."

He simply nodded, releasing her hand and leaning away, fumbling for his discarded water and resuming his odd ritual.

Truthfully, that offer, had it come from anyone else, would have been met with anger and some kind of abusive language. Maybe even something a little more violent, depending on his disposition. He was currently using every stress reduction technique and compartmentalism skill he'd been forced to learn and develop over the last few months to keep the concept of reuniting with his mom from straying into his thoughts. He knew the very idea of it would make him go beyond breaking his promise to Wendy.

But he also trusted her, without reservation, and had found it harder and harder over time to deny her anything. So far, she's been the only female on his team that had never made him feel discomfort or fear. He knew without a doubt that she had only good intentions in her proposal, and he didn't want her feeling like she'd failed in some way. Even he could see how far she'd come in her calling as a healer.

After a moment, he gestured her nickname, just wondering if she was still eyeing him. She was.

"Yes, Gray-san?" she asked timidly.

_"...Thank you."_

Whether for her offer of essentially reintroducing him to the specter of his dead mom, whom he feared more than anything right now, or for backing off on that proposal, she couldn't tell. But his gratitude was sincere, and it relieved a sense of tension and awkwardness that she'd inadvertently caused.

"You're welcome."

They settled in for a wait. The food should be here soon. Wendy allowed her discomfort to ease bit by bit. It could have been much worse. She should have asked the others before springing this idea on him, but he took it better than she'd imagined he would. And, at least the idea was out there, now.

She was slightly alarmed, however, when he suddenly looked up. Was he seeing something again? Another flashback? Was her impulsive inquiry more distressing than she'd first realized, causing him to hallucinate again?

But he didn't seem nervous. He looked intrigued, calculating.

"Gray-san?"

_"It's snowing."_

Surprised, she looked out the window, but saw only a darkening landscape. Moments later, she was amazed to see delicate flakes gracefully falling from the sky. It was a very light snow, only the beginning, it's frequency likely to increase throughout the night. The whole town would be blanketed in a purifying white by morning. Before she could ask how he could possibly have known about it, the girls returned.

"Everyone come look! It's snowing!" yelled Lucy.

Smiles adorned a few faces as Natsu and Happy ran out like little children, dragging Lucy behind them, running around with glee, trying to catch errant flakes on their tongues. They'd probably want to have a snowball fight come morning. Erza set everything up to eat in the living room, so they could enjoy the view through the large bay windows. Lyon, now rested and brought to wakefulness when he'd sensed the falling snow, approached Gray.

"You don't seem surprised," he observed.

"How did you know it was snowing?" Wendy finally got out.

_"I was listening. It was so quiet out there. So peaceful. More so than usual this time of day. It's always like this when it snows. That, and I could feel it. The cold draft coming in through the fireplace. The moisture in the air...the magic."_

"The magic?"

Lyon answered for him, "Remember, Wendy. He can't absorb magic, but he can still feel it. As elemental wizards, we're greatly attuned to our specific element. Whether magical or not, we know ice when it's there."

Wendy was happy. "I'm glad you haven't lost every link to your magic."

Gray looked rather apathetic about the whole thing. Both Wendy and Lyon were disappointed by his lack of interest in the first snow of the year.

When everyone came back inside, they settled down for a quick meal of egg fried rice and vegetables. No meat, easy to consume, quick to digest. Gray wanted to shower before he took his meds, needing very badly to feel the water on his back for as long as he could, without risk of the sedatives knocking him out too soon. Wendy, still feeling guilty over having caused him distress earlier, agreed. Once more deemed a "falling hazard", due to his recent malnourishment and blood loss, Loke stood in attendance.

Meanwhile, Lyon went into the bedroom to fetch the medicines. Natsu followed out of boredom and curiosity. He didn't really make it a habit to go in there, as it was pretty spartan compared to his own tastes, and there wasn't much to look at. Lyon went into the closet, pulling a box off the top shelf. The violin case that sat next to it caught Natsu's eye, and brought him back to their previous conversation, before Virgo had interrupted them.

"He said he couldn't bring them back. That he'd never be able to bring them back," he said without preface.

Lyon understood right away what he was talking about.

"What do you think he meant?" he asked as he parceled out doses of each medicine.

"I don't know. At first, I thought maybe he was talking about his hands, cuz he also said he couldn't play anymore. But with how sad he was that night, there had to be more to it than that. I mean, you'd think his cat had died or something."

Lyon knitted his brow, thinking. Or something? Gazing back up at the violin case, his mind wandered through so many different memories, trying to pinpoint anything that could be helpful in this little mystery. He remembered Gray's cold reaction, so long ago, when he'd brought up the existence of the violin in the first place. His pleasant demeanor had taken a nose dive that evening, which they'd attributed to mood swings at the time. He next recalled that one curious detail, one which he'd thought strange and out of place, during Gray's emotional release earlier today. He was begging for _It_ to stop singing. Why would his tormentor sing to him? Or was he angry at his real mother's singing. It was so difficult to tell with Gray, sometimes.

 _'He wouldn't be able to bring them back?'_ he thought.

His eyes widened. These past few months, he'd had enough time to really get a strong grasp on Gray's personality, his quirks and ticks, his eccentricities and mannerisms. The one truth that stood out the most among anything else in this situation was this: While he preferred to keep the things of the past firmly locked in the past, he also liked to keep a link to certain things, as it was the past that made them all who they were today. His mastery of Gesture Speak was a great example. It's easy to say he chose to keep practicing it for the practical reason of enhancing his own maker magic skills. But mastering a whole language was a great deal of effort, considering the relatively small benefit it provided towards their craft.

It wasn't the Gesture Speak itself that he was dedicated to. It was the fact that Ur had taught it to them that made mastering it such a desirable goal. If he was willing to spend years perfecting a skill, one that he'd had no reason to believe he'd ever really need, in order to keep the memory of their master alive, how much more would he be willing to do for the sake of his parents? Such as picking up a violin one day out of the blue; learning to play it as well as Lyon had no doubt he could, because Gray never half-assed anything that was important to him; and playing it so often that one could discern wear in the wood from the constant friction of the bow, and indentations along the neck from the constant fingering.

"He was talking about his parents."

Now Natsu's eyes widened, and he didn't need an involved explanation to understand how Lyon had come to that conclusion. He trusted Lyon to know what he was talking about. It made perfect sense, now that he'd started putting his own pieces together.

"Do you think we should ask him about it?"

"I'm not sure. He's had a pretty harrowing day today. But it seems like talking about his mom has brought him back to himself, and hopefully even brought him a little bit of closure, though we won't know for sure until we see how he acts in the coming days. Maybe if he was able to talk about this as well, it would help some other wounds heal. We should see what the others think, first."

So while Gray was still preoccupied, Lyon and Natsu gave the girls a quick rundown of what they'd figured out.

"I remember him saying something about a woman singing to him during one of his flashbacks," said Lucy

"He mentioned that to Porlyusica and me as well," recalled Wendy.

"But how do you think he'd react if we asked him about it?" wondered Erza, "He'd already bared his soul so much today. I'm afraid to have to require more of him tonight. It feels like we're forcing him to give more and more of himself away with every secret told."

" _Please... don't be afraid to ask me..."_

Everyone turned at the unexpected sound of Loke's voice, once again speaking Gray's words. Their eyes focused towards Gray, still wet from bathing, dressed only in a pair of pajama pants. He was being supported by Loke as they'd paused on their way to the dining room. He looked weak and pale, ready to faint.

"Loke, what happened?" Wendy cried as she went to support Gray from his other side.

"You made a good call. He started getting dizzy, and had trouble standing... He told me the pain's getting bad, as well," he finished quietly.

Sitting him down on the couch, Wendy retrieved the medicines from Lyon, nodding a thanks to Lucy as she handed her a glass of water as well. Gray drank half the glass, before chasing it with his familiar cocktail of pain killers and beta blockers, along with a good dose of sedatives, finishing the rest of the water before leaning back, waiting for everything to kick in. It wasn't taking long, and he started feeling a numb wooziness take hold. The pain was fading into the background, along with some of his awareness.

The drugs must have been making him a little more bold, as well, for before he would allow himself to succumb to slumber, he felt a need to have just one more regret shared, before he chanced forgetting to do so later. After everything that had happened, everything he'd said and done, every time he'd scared them recently, he had to take this chance to make amends. He clicked his tongue, knowing at least one of them would look his way, though chances were, he'd never lost any of their gazes from the beginning.

 _"... I'm sorry. You've all gone through so much because of me. I never wanted to push you away. And I never wanted to make things hard for you. I try... so hard to be normal, but I have trouble remembering what that means. And I can't be what you want me to be, but I can't_ not _try. But then something happens... and I forget what the hell I'm supposed to be... And you're too afraid to tell me... And I can't blame you... because I'm scared, too. Erza and Lucy, you're both so scared that I'll break if you touch me, but I don't want you to be. I know you both feel a discomfort around me, always unsure if I even want you near. I do! I really do! I miss being able to have you near without needing to keep my guard up. I miss getting hugs from you without having to give permission first. I don't want to fear your touch. I'm so tired... of being scared. It's so exhausting, fighting these feelings all the time. I'm sorry I can't control how I feel, or how I react, but this is what I've become... I'm sorry—"_

His hands were gathered into Natsu's, preventing him from talking any further. He felt the cushions sink, and his tension rose just slightly when he realized Lucy and Erza had both taken positions at his sides. He closed his eyes, a stray tear squeezing out as he held his breath for a moment, letting it out slowly, before opening his eyes and waiting. Natsu released his hands, but stayed kneeling before him, ready to intervene if the girls' closeness proved to be too much. So far, so good. Gray had yet to inch his trembling hand towards the tally marks. Always a win.

Lyon spoke up. "Gray, you've done nothing to warrant an apology. I know you feel like it's an easy out, using your condition as an excuse for your behavior, but in your case, it's entirely justified. You just said so yourself; you can't control how you feel, or how you react to certain things. We'd never hold those things against you, and you shouldn't either. You're not a burden. You never have been. Nothing you say or do will ever change that. And there is nothing we wouldn't be willing to go through for you. _We_ choose to do so. You'd do the same for us, have done the same for us. I understand that certain things within your mind cause you to doubt the sincerity of my words, or to forget our true feelings towards you. So I will continue to remind you, everyday if I have to, that you are more than a friend to us. You're our brother. Always."

Gray sighed, nodding his understanding, and feeling some of his tension drain. They hoped he believed those words, and would continue to believe them. He didn't seem bothered by the girls' presence beside him now, but that could just be the drugs' doing. He slumped back more, his eyes starting to droop. He couldn't recall when it had happened, but at some point, they'd made him lie down.

Questions concerning his parents had fled their minds, his need for pain relief overriding their curiosities, and they all understood he was no longer capable of handling such an emotional subject matter in his current state. But it was enough that he had invited them to ask. They only hoped and prayed that he wouldn't come to regret such a generous offer later on.

As Wendy had predicted, the sedatives were very potent tonight, and he was already starting to succumb to sleep. He tried to resist, a primal fear, always in the back of his mind, trying to stir. What night terrors would await him this time?

They saw his struggle.

"It's okay," came Erza'a voice, seeming to echo from a distance. He vaguely felt a small, slightly calloused, but definitely feminime hand take his, but in his exhausted haze, felt no inclination to pull away. "Go to sleep. We're not going anywhere. You won't be alone."

He believed them.

* * *

**_That little mini-arc lasted longer than I'd planned. But amends have been made, and friendships have been reforged. Things pick back up in the next chapter._ **

**_Next Chapter: Things are returning back to normal. But why is there still such a disconnect? Also, Lucy has a bad feeling..._ **


	39. Before the Storm

The clacking sounds of bamboo swords repeatedly striking against each other were what greeted Loren as he walked down the thankfully shoveled path towards Gray's front door this morning. He heard a few grunts and excited yelps now and then, all from a single female voice. One could be forgiven if they'd assume it was a lone woman simply being fully engaged in her workout. But Loren knew from recent visits that the woman making those sounds was not alone, her workout not just for her benefit. He was still surprised at what he knew he was about to see, though upon further consideration, he realized he ought not to be. This wouldn't be the first workout he'd seen Gray take part in that defied even his expectations, regardless of how aware he was about the underestimated skills of the visually impaired.

Seeing as his charge was very likely in the back yard, he decided to forgo the front door, and trudged his way through the foot high snow to the arbor. He let himself inside, catching Lyon's eye and nodding a greeting, before joining him on the deck to watch the impressive display of swordsmanship taking place before them.

Gray was attacking, swinging his shinai with focused precision and speed. Just as when he'd sparred with Natsu, purely attacking against his defense, Gray stayed on offense, perfecting his form against Erza's flawless blocks. Occasionally, Erza would send an attack his way, pleased and impressed by his instinctual reaction to protect his body from the risk of unseen danger.

Gray was getting better at anticipating Erza's random strikes, improving his reaction speed every time he managed to block her. He'd quickly follow up with a retaliatory strike of his own, fully aware that he'd never get through Erza'a defense, knowing it didn't matter. Proficiency comes with experience. The future would always be there. He had only now. For now, perfect the form, and attack.

What Erza and Lyon saw as a remarkable feat of determination to better himself, Loren saw beneath Gray's facade. Yes, he showed confidence and strength in his stance and movements, but there was also a desperation there. A dread. A demand.

This was a coping mechanism.

Before he could suggest a halt to the spar, Gray suddenly stepped away, turning his shinai upside down in his hand so the "point" faced down, holding it aloft before him. Their agreed upon signal, to allow him to call for a stop. Erza immediately stepped back, coming down from her own combat high. Though tame compared to her usual spars, nonetheless, this had been a rigorous workout, one she'd enjoyed immensely. But she understood his need for a break. This had been their longest round today.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

He dropped his arm down, leaning on his shinai, nodding as he tried to slow his breathing. He waited for her to move, knowing she'd lead him to the deck without prompting, the sound of her feet crunching the thick blanket of snow his only guide. She understood what he wanted, and turned in the appropriate direction. No doubt, he'd lost track of his orientation during the spar, but she wouldn't go out of her way to point him towards the house, just trust him to use the appropriate skills needed to move along with her. She smiled as he used his shinai as a substitute mobility tool, probing for obstacles as he would with his regular white cane. His earlier reluctant use of any such tool had long since become resigned acceptance.

They followed the often used path made through the snow, the rest of the back yard surprisingly still covered in white. Loren filed this observation away, remembering how almost every yard he'd seen on the way here showed evidence of recent snow-based activities. From snowmen, snow forts, and snow angels, to tracks and paths made throughout by people excitedly running and sledding up and down the many hills in this neighborhood. Most of the pristine whiteness had been marred by all the various activities, but Gray's yard remained mostly untouched. For a house occupied by a pair of ice mages, Loren found this perplexing.

"Your technique was very solid today," Lyon praised as he exchanged Gray's shinai for his water bottle.

_"Thanks. Loren, you're early,"_ Gray gestured before taking a drink.

While Lyon and Erza were slightly amazed and dumbfounded, Loren was amused.

"How did you know I was here?" he asked with a slight chuckle in his voice.

_"Aftershave,"_ was all he needed to say.

"Ha! Very good. And how did you know I was early? You're not even wearing your tactile watch," he asked, though he already had an idea what he'd answer. Gray always took his watch off when he sparred. It just wasn't smart to wear something that could snag or break from an errant block or strike. It's possible he was just aware of the passage of time, but blind people often had trouble with their internal clocks if they couldn't perceive light. It was also difficult to keep track of time while concentrating on such an intense physical activity.

He capped his water, placing it under his arm, then replied, " _I'm still standing in shadow."_

That was a brilliant deduction. He was scheduled for a mid morning appointment. It was barely eight o'clock yet. The majority of the yard was bathed in shadows at this time. Still, the ice mages' abilities to differentiate the temperatures within the light versus the shadows, especially through the chilled winter air, as very impressive.

"He makes a good point, though," said Erza, "Why the early visit?"

"I'd had some cancellations due to the weather, along with rumors of more snow on the way later this evening. I had hoped to be able to meet with you now, so I'd be able to return home before then. That is if you won't be inconvenienced."

_"Got nothing better to do."_

"Why don't we go inside and get started then," offered Lyon, "Natsu and Lucy are coming over soon with breakfast, if you'd care to join us."

"I've already eaten, thank you. I was actually going to ask Gray to join me for a short walk. Just our usual route. Navigating through fallen snow has its own set of unique challenges that I would like to cover, given this opportunity. He may need a coat, though. It may take longer than we're used to in order to get to the café and back. Perhaps we can bring coffee back for everyone?"

"That's a wonderful idea," Erza said, pulling out some jewels, "You can finally get out of the house for a while, Gray. You know what I like. Don't forget the cinnamon."

Before she could offer the jewels, Loren stalled her with a raised hand.

"There's no need. I offered, so it's my treat. I won't take no for an answer. Now, shall we be off?"

Lyon was quick to fetch Gray's coat off the peg by the back door, placing it in his hand as he said, "They'll be here around nine, but don't be in a rush. Try to enjoy your time out of the house."

Huh. Another declaration of a need to get out and about. He'd never figured Gray to be such a homebody. Yet another thing to file away for a more private conversation. He looked towards Gray, noticing a pensive look that he tried to hide. He looked back towards the other two, watching as they shared a look. Yes. That was definitely a mixture of hope and nervous anticipation he saw. They were using this as an opportunity to get him out of the house today. He was fully aware of what's been going on with his charge the last few weeks, and was not surprised to find that he'd become a recluse lately. Before anyone could back down, Gray sighed, reached for the sunglasses he'd left on the table, and turned towards the arbor.

"Let's not forget your cane," Loren reminded.

Instead of going inside to retrieve it, he snatched the shinai out of Lyon's hand, before leaving in an irritated huff.

Loren once again eyed his friends, seeing them each give their own sighs of relief. Huh. He nodded his farewell and quickly joined Gray down the path.

It was a quiet stroll towards the café, the calm silence interrupted whenever Loren pointed out any new obstacle that the snow would likely cause. Gray had already known of the sound muffling effects that a heavy snowfall possessed, but did gain a new appreciation for the muted environment. The few things he did learn would be helpful, though. Such as preventing his cane from sticking in the snow, and finding new sound references to use as landmarks. Nothing really echoed right now. He'd be cutting a few fingers off his gloves when he got home, as well. He couldn't feel textures with them on. He also needed to get used to planning for more travel time for whenever he decided to leave the house.

Speaking of which, "I take it you've not left your house much recently," Loren said.

Slipping the shinai under his arm, he answered, _"I admit to having hoped the snow would have kept us indoors today_."

"So it _is_ the snow that's bothering you. You aren't even trying to hide the fact. _"_

_"You'd dig it out eventually... besides... I trust you... and it's nice feeling that with someone again."_

_"_ You don't trust your friends?" he asked, concerned.

_"I do... At least, I try to. I want to, but... Just too much crap keeps happening, and it's hard to... I don't know. It's just... I have no problem with them keeping me company, but I wouldn't have left the house with anyone else but you. Something in me is still mad at my friends, and I can't let that feeling go."_

"Well, this is going to be small comfort, but your feelings are normal. Your friends _did_ betray you in a way, even if they meant it for good. An act of betrayal can leave a deep wound, which takes time to heal."

_"Yeah. The scars you can't see always do."_

" _..._ That they do. But what about the snow? I can only imagine your discomfort with it must be a recent development. Can you tell me why you suddenly dislike it?"

" _I have no freakin clue! I grew up in Isvan. My village was settled in a damned tundra! Our winters lasted over half the year... I love snow. But for some reason, I just can't make myself care about it today. The night it started falling, I couldn't give a crap about it, one way or the other. Everyone's been trying to get me to come out and enjoy it all week, and I don't want to disappoint them with my lack of enthusiasm."_

"Do you think it could be possible that the source of your apathy may lay in the fact that it was snowing when your parents died?"

Holy crap, did that came out of no where, and Gray was so startled, he'd have fallen if Loren hadn't noticed him about to miss the curb his shinai hadn't caught.

_"How... ?"_

"You just said your winters lasted half the year. I had a fifty/fifty chance of guessing correctly. When I considered everything else that's been bothering you, my chances of being right increased."

_"But why hadn't it bothered me before? I've been an ice mage for years. I thrive in the winter."_

"You did... until you lost your powers."

This conversation was steering into the forbidden zone very quickly, but oddly, Gray wasn't as bothered by it as he usually would be.

"If I may, I'd like for you to try to think objectively about this before you answer: If you hadn't been orphaned, would you have ever considered learning magic, becoming a mage, and joining a guild?"

An answer of yes was almost automatic, but he did as he was asked and gave it some thought. Truth be told, he wasn't sure where his path might have led, had his parents lived. Neither of them were mages in life. Hell, the only reason his father had learned _Ice_ Devil Slayer magic, which was rather convenient for Gray, actually, was because END (also rather conveniently his best frenemy) was a fire demon. Which he'd _only_ learned so he could avenge the deaths of his wife and son. Gray was practically the same. The only reason he'd learned magic in the first place was to kill the demon that had taken everything from him. So would he have ever become a mage if his parents hadn't been killed?

" _No... I'm not sure I would have..."_

"Your sparring match against Erza, I noticed you were particularly focused and determined today. You had more fire and passion in that workout than I'd seen previously. But also a bit of anger? Sadness?"

So he'd been taking advantage of a new form of stress relief. What else could he do? Knit? Do a jigsaw puzzle? Jog? His options were kind of limited here.

First the questions regarding his snow avoidance, then about his parents and his magic, now his choice of decompression techniques. Where was he going with all these random things? Were they so random?

_"Bottom line it, please?"_

"You're scared."

_"No shit."_

"Not of what's already happened, but of what may come. Your parents were killed, so you learned magic to avenge them. But the demon that killed them was defeated. Why did you continue to perfect your magic? Was it because of your master, Ur? That's fair, but is that the only reason? Your friends have told me on many occasions that you're very protective of them. And of your guild. Is it because you fear losing them as well? You've lost your magic, along with your sight and voice. You're now affected by the cold just like an ordinary man. The cold, which had been your ally for years, and that you could control, now holds sway over you. You feel powerless right now. So all you want to do now is train, get stronger, develop what skills you still have. To prevent the loss you so fear."

This was heavy. And depressing. It was kind of fueling his anger, as well. But he was right. It made sense. He couldn't fault his assessment. However...

_"_... _You're an asshole. You know that?... So should I stop?"_

"That depends. Are you the squirrel or the nut?"

_"*Tsk* I thought I was both."_

"Precisely. That's true for all of us, though some may lean more to one side than the other. Man is a very dynamic being. We exist in a perpetual duality, always walking the line between right or wrong, good or evil, love or hate. In answer to your question, I see no harm in continuing to improve your skills. Even if you're motivated by fear, a great deal of that fear comes from love as well. If you didn't love your friends, you wouldn't fear losing them. However, I would first ask you to consider this: Fear is the opposite of faith. So in order to combat fear, you must have faith."

_"I already believe in God."_

"Good. Hold firmly to that. It will certainly help you. But I'm talking about something a little closer to the mundane. For example, when I was child, I was afraid to swim. I didn't want to learn. My father took me into the water one day, and made me learn. He told me that no matter what, he would keep me safe. I may had been afraid of the water, but I'd always trusted my father, and knew he would never let me come to harm. I had faith in him, and that faith was stronger than my fear. So, I learned how to swim.

"For a while now, you've been struggling with fear, justifiably so. The way to combat that fear is through faith. Faith in your friends, faith in yourself, faith in God, whatever you can believe in that is stronger than your fears. So what I want you to do is focus on that. When you train, don't do so because you may lose your friends if you don't. Train because you won't lose them if you do. When you feel fear, trust that you're not alone, that your friends will help you face those fears.

"You have every reason to harbor fears and doubts. No one with any decency could ever hold them against you. But if you recall, you have every reason to have faith as well. You survived a horrendous experience, not just because your friends came and rescued you in time, but because _you_ held out long enough for them to do so. You even ended up saving _them_ in the end. God forbid you find yourself in similar danger again, but you've already seen what you can do, and what your friends are willing to do to save you. Continue to have faith in God, in your friends, and in yourself. You _are_ stronger than your fears."

Loren was awfully talkative today. He certainly didn't hold back. But... Gray appreciated the honesty. Maybe this was why it was so much easier to talk to someone who hadn't known him for years, who wasn't one of his closest friends. Everyone else would have been gentle, sympathetic, bending over backwards to not risk hurting his feelings. Loren wasn't politically correct, nor did he hold back in bringing up subjects that his friends wouldn't dare. He told it so straight faced and with such candor, he couldn't even dredge up the anger that he'd usually feel at all these reminders of his past. He understood what Gray needed to hear, and told him point blank. It was... refreshing.

" _You're still an asshole._.. _but thank you."_

"Always happy to help. And wouldn't you know it, we're already here."

They'd arrived at a small neighborhood market place close to Gray's house. There were several shops around the plaza, which featured a wide open space that was a popular gathering place for kids to run around while their parents shopped. He could hear the sound of children playing throughout the plaza. His head perked up. Was that...? A smile grew on his face, the first one Loren had seen all morning.

He brought his fingers to his mouth and whistled, fully aware that the noise would be muffled by the snow, but knowing it would reach his target all the same. She'd gotten quite familiar to it's pitch and resonance ever since he'd started using it to gain her attention in the guild.

"Gray-ni!"

Asuka broke away from her parents and friends, struggling through the knee high (to her) snow as quickly as she could, reaching her big brother with such excitement, the kind as expected from seeing a long lost friend. She wasn't too far off. Except for that brief moment in the guild two weeks ago, she hadn't seen him, memories intact, in almost a month. Seeing his rare smile, she smiled back, reassured by his happy mood, and crashed into his knees, hugging with all her might. She was quickly followed by her parents, along with some of her friends, who approached with caution, as they knew who he was, but was too shy to get too close. Who wouldn't be in awe of one of the champions of the Grand Magic Games, and a hero of the Alvarez War?

"Where have you been?! It's been too many days! Are you feeling better? When are you coming back to the guild? Did you come out here to play? It snowed! Come play with us! We're making snowmen!"

Without giving him time to answer, she grabbed his hand, trying to pull him towards her friends, but found her feet slipping along the ice as he held her in place. She turned back to see him silently chuckling at her exuberance, before he reclaimed his hand to answer her.

" _Sprite, I want you to meet my friend, Loren. Loren, this is Asuka,"_ he introduced as he spelled their names.

"Loren? Hey, my friend's mom has that name!"

Loren chuckled, and his grin widened when he saw the smirk on Gray's face. "I told you so," it seemed to say. He kneeled down so he was eye to eye with Asuka, and greeted her warmly.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Asuka-chan. Your big brother has told me much about you. And who are your little friends?"

Finally realizing that Gray was trying to encourage her to show some proper courtesies, she smiled and blushed as she introduced her friends, who all bashfully waved or gave their own quiet greetings. While this was going on, Alzack approached Gray, clearing his throat to get his attention.

"You look well. Asuka's been asking about you a lot. We're glad we could run into you, Bisca and I. After what happened, we were concerned that you'd still be upset."

"Yes," Bisca continued, "I wanted to apologize again for slapping you before. I know you'd never do anything to harm Asuka. I think, for just a moment, I may have scared her more than you did. I'm sorry."

He knew they only understood a small number of gestures, so his options were limited in his response. He just settled for, " _It's fine. Shit happens. We're good,"_ before focusing back on the kids when he heard Asuka introducing him to them. Okay. So he may have taught the parents a few words outside of Asuka's vocabulary. Purely for educational purposes, just so they'd know if she ever picked up a few naughty words on her own. They laughed, and were relieved. Though she'd apologized before, this time, he hadn't brushed her off.

"Now can we go play?" asked Asuka.

Before Gray could disappoint her, Loren stepped in, saying, "Actually, we came here on a coffee run, but if Gray would give me a list of what to purchase, I could go in while he played for a bit." Not one word of that was in retaliation for the name jokes. Not one. This was all purely for his benefit. A chance to socialize and use his creative talents. Gray mentally called BS right away.

Gray, who still wasn't really feeling it today, had little choice but to comply as Asuka excitedly started shouting her joy. So he quickly gestured the beverage list, not even caring if Loren got it all, as he wasn't going to repeat it, and resigned himself to Asuka's renewed pulling on his hand, dragging him towards a collection of just-started snowmen in the making.

Her parents were amused, and were about to follow, when Bisca decided that coffee sounded good. She offered to help Loren with the drinks, so Alzack stayed to watch the kids with the other parents while she and Loren waited in the long line into the café. This was certainly a day for warm beverages.

Alzack couldn't believe how some of the moms were trying to gain Gray's attention as he approached, and had to laugh at the crestfallen looks they wore when they finally noticed what he was using the shinai for. These were all happily married women! That didn't stop a few bolder ones from trying to _sound_ flirtatious as they introduced themselves. Alzack saw Gray's growing discomfort and, suddenly reminded of his phobias, quickly interrupted the pack of cougars, running interference. Anything for a guild mate.

Gray visibly relaxed, and with Asuka's help, learned the layout of what was before him. He started visualizing what each child was trying to accomplish and, taking off his coat, started helping with Asuka's snow monster. Gotta love the kid's imagination.

He ignored some of the kids' disappointed observations that he wasn't going to use magic. He knew that Fairy Tail wizards were very popular in their hometown, but hadn't realized he himself was such a fan favorite with the kids. Asuka, knowing fully well that he couldn't use magic, quickly came to his defense, telling them that Fairy Tail wizards didn't need to use such powerful spells for little things like this, and that anything worth having was worth working for.

Alzack heard it all, and was very proud of his little fairy. The kids weren't the only ones he heard, though.

Having accepted their loss, the moms went back to their usual conversations, none of them too shy about adding a few words here and there about little Asuka-chan's "handsome and well-built big brother." Alzack wondered if maybe, having seen Gray use Gesture Speak, they assumed he was deaf as well as blind, and was therefore free to say whatever they thought they could get away with in his presence. He was proven delightfully correct when Asuka yelled out for all the parents to hear, "Mrs. Leslie, my Gray-ni wants me to tell you that little kids have big ears, and to stop saying what you're thinking! Daddy? Are my ears big?"

Alzack couldn't keep his laughter in as he assured, "No, sweetie! Your ears are the perfect size, and they work just fine! Just like your Gray-ni's!" he finished, looking smugly at the cougars, just making sure they got the hint. Judging by the blushes on some of the moms, and the giggling coming from others, they got the message. He couldn't wait to tell his wife about this.

* * *

Across town, Natsu, Lucy, and Happy had just picked up breakfast from LaCroix's, Lucy once again lamenting that they couldn't have all met there as a team. If only Gray wasn't such a shut-in lately. They had hoped that his recent breakthrough would have made him more open to socializing again, but they had to take what they could get. At least he welcomed them to stay with him now. Though when one thought about it, wasn't that more of a step back than progress?

In order to give Lyon a break, the team had decided that one of the them would always be available to spend the night with Gray, whether he was awake or not. For the most part, it helped. He still had trouble sleeping, but was managing a few short naps throughout the day to supplement the little sleep he got at night. And he always had company during those waking hours. It was just a shame how much he still needed it.

"If you want him out here so badly, let's just drag him out. He'll get over it. Tell him to take one for the team," said Natsu.

"Not a good idea. Erza and I have been talking, and we've both been getting the impression lately that he's been doing a lot of things just for us, out of a sense of obligation."

"Of course he does. We all have obligations to each other."

"Not that kind of obligation. We think he does things he really doesn't want to do, not because he sees the need for those things, but just to make us happy. He's not doing them for himself, and we think we've just been adding to his burden. He needs to get better for his own sake, not just for ours."

"I know!" cried Happy, "You can _challenge_ him to come to the restaurant!"

"Great idea, Happy! He'd totally step up to a challenge to defend his own ego!"

"You guys," Lucy once more lamented.

Looking ahead as they continued on towards Gray's neighborhood, Lucy caught a brief glance of a familiar face, though she couldn't remember where she'd seen it before. The person turned a corner before she could get a better look, so she just shrugged and continued on her way. He probably just had one of those faces.

A few blocks down the road, she started getting a little suspicious. There weren't many, but for some reason, several faces kept standing out to her. It wasn't that they were all that familiar, but there was something about those faces that seemed wrong to her. Yes, some were indeed familiar, but they all had a certain look in common with each other. They were beyond stoic. They all stared straight ahead, as if on a mission, allowing for no distraction.

Starting to feel creeped out, she turned her eyes towards the park, hoping the sight of laughing, smiling children playing in the snow would make her feel better. Instead, a sense of dread overcame her, when she saw another person, this one with the same strange look on his face, standing amongst the children.

Now that she had a chance to get a really good look at one of these people, she now noticed another strange thing about them all: as far as she could recall, none of them were dressed for cold-weather. The person she watched now wore a simple pair of slacks and a light sweater. No hat, no gloves, no scarf. Looking down, she was surprised once more, to see that the man wore no shoes.

"Natsu, something's wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"That guy over there, in the park, isn't wearing shoes, or anything to keep him warm."

A look of intense concentration came upon Natsu's face as he eyed the strange man up and down. He quickly came to a conclusion.

"You're right," he said, his voice sounding low and determined. Then, changing his tone, he brightened up and said, "The poor guy's probably down on his luck! You got any more jewels? Let's get him some food, and maybe a pair of boots. I think maybe a size twelve. What do you think, Happy?"

"Better get him some thirteens, so he has room to grow," Happy advised.

"What? That guy ain't getting any bigger—"

"That's not what I meant! Look at him. I think he's up to something. And I think he's not alone!" cried Lucy

As she turned back to face the park, her eyes widened at what happened next.

The man in the park took in a great, deep breath, put his hands to his mouth as if he was holding a brass horn, and blew. Fearing the worst, Lucy cringed, bringing her hands over her eyes, only to lower them when she saw, not the fearsome attack she had been expecting, but a huge number of bubbles flowing through the man's hands, rising and drifting in all directions.

All the children in the park stopped what they were doing, and looked up in amazement at the multitude of bubbles floating overhead. They were enthralled by the sudden appearance of what had to be millions upon millions of delicate, iridescent spheres. They ooh'ed and ahh'ed at the sight, as the bubbles flew throughout the park, floating higher and higher, spreading every which way.

Lucy sighed, wondering how she could have let herself get so scared over nothing.

"See? Nothing to worry about. It's just bubbles. Come on, I'm starving, and this cold weather is making my nose all stuffy. Let's get this food to Gray's already!"

"Aye!"

"Yeah, let's go."

As they turned to leave, some of the bubbles started coming down. One of them floated towards Lucy. She smiled, holding up her hand, about to let the bubble alight onto her palm.

Natsu, trying to clear his sinuses, breathed in deeply, feeling the sting of the cold, when his nose twitched, and his eyes widened.

"Lucy, don't—"

***pop***

***BTOOOM!!!***

**...**

**...**

* * *

**_Next chapter: A surprise assault against Magnolia_. _What good_ is _a blind man in a fight?_**


End file.
